Depersonalisation/Derealization any chronic dpers on this forum?

[Fluke]

Anyone ever experienced this?

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization#:~:text=Depersonalization can consist of a,outside reality while looking in.

 

Depersonalization symptoms

Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of your speech or movements. The sense that your body, legs or arms appear distorted, enlarged or shrunken, or that your head is wrapped in cotton. Emotional or physical numbness of your senses or responses to the world around you.16 May 2017

 

 

 

 

 

I had this for 3 years back in my late teens early 20s. It was either a moped crash or weed induced.

 

It was terrifying to say the least. I've either adapted or recovered. 

[Ethel]

On 1/24/2022 at 12:14 PM, Fluke said:

Anyone ever experienced this?

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization#:~:text=Depersonalization can consist of a,outside reality while looking in.

 

Depersonalization symptoms

Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of your speech or movements. The sense that your body, legs or arms appear distorted, enlarged or shrunken, or that your head is wrapped in cotton. Emotional or physical numbness of your senses or responses to the world around you.16 May 2017

 

 

 

 

 

I had this for 3 years back in my late teens early 20s. It was either a moped crash or weed induced.

 

It was terrifying to say the least. I've either adapted or recovered. 

 

I have experienced it. Like dissociation, it is caused by trauma.

[Fluke]

57 minutes ago, Ethel said:

 

I have experienced it. Like dissociation, it is caused by trauma.

It lasted for 12 months it put me in a state of extreme terror i was sure i was going schizophrenic.

[Ethel]

24 minutes ago, Fluke said:

It lasted for 12 months it put me in a state of extreme terror i was sure i was going schizophrenic.

 

I experienced the terror too. I was walking in some woods one day and began to feel like I was not real any more. It was caused by terrible loneliness, my mind began to slide and it began to feel like I was watching myself, like in a film. My mind wanted to disconnect, almost, and slide away so that I could disconnect from reality, and the moment, altogether. I was in woodland I had never visited before and was terrified I was going to get lost and confused and end up unable to get back home, or become so confused I wouldn't know anything any more.

 

Luckily I have a strong survival instinct and a part of my consciousness began talking to me and trying to keep me in the present moment. I don't know whether it was survival instinct or a higher self but it spoke to me in a loving way and kept me in the present moment until I got out of the woods and back to an area I was familiar with. The voice also kept talking to me until my mind became 'normal' again. 

 

I know it was feelings of isolation which caused it. Which is experienced as trauma. It can happen even if you have folks in your life, especially if there is no emotional depth to the relationships. 

[Fluke]

22 hours ago, Ethel said:

 

I experienced the terror too. I was walking in some woods one day and began to feel like I was not real any more. It was caused by terrible loneliness, my mind began to slide and it began to feel like I was watching myself, like in a film. My mind wanted to disconnect, almost, and slide away so that I could disconnect from reality, and the moment, altogether. I was in woodland I had never visited before and was terrified I was going to get lost and confused and end up unable to get back home, or become so confused I wouldn't know anything any more.

 

Luckily I have a strong survival instinct and a part of my consciousness began talking to me and trying to keep me in the present moment. I don't know whether it was survival instinct or a higher self but it spoke to me in a loving way and kept me in the present moment until I got out of the woods and back to an area I was familiar with. The voice also kept talking to me until my mind became 'normal' again. 

 

I know it was feelings of isolation which caused it. Which is experienced as trauma. It can happen even if you have folks in your life, especially if there is no emotional depth to the relationships. 

Its interesting you remember where you were. I was cycling home one evening with a friend and my surroundings all of a sudden looked like a cartoon or a painting. I was with a mate i sat down had a fag and started crying. 

 

Think thats why i got into football again. The greenery and normality comforted me. Similar to whata quoted in the film "numb".

[Mr Crabtree]

I had a similar thing around twelve years old, and it occurred quite often during my teens, and then sort of receded as I went into adulthood. This was scary at first, but over time I sort of mastered the fear and realized that it wasn't going to kill me! Everything would appear normal and every day and then, suddenly, I felt as if I was on the outside of things, looking in, it was as if I was viewing a film and wasn't really part of it and just had to get away from the situation, which of course I couldn't! The panic used to set in and I had to go off somewhere on my own and calm down! I never felt violent or anything, I just felt as if I was trapped somewhere outside my own existence, and I was viewing things from far off! I suffered this in silence for quite a few years really, and I was scared shitless by the thought that I'd end up in an asylum if I tried to tell anyone!

I never had visions or any great truths appearing to me, it was just a feeling of great loneliness and the feeling that I wasn't part of those few moments but far away and unable to really feel as if I was there with everyone else in the room! But as I said these weird feelings gradually started to disappear as I headed towards my adult years!

Even now many years later, I feel a bit of a prat mentioning it to anyone, but to be fair it's been a sort of relief to talk about it at long last, I've kept it to myself for many years and never mentioned it to anyone before, not even to my wife! Interestingly these experiences mainly happened indoors, it always felt as if the room was closing in, but I was not part of the scene and viewing everything as if it was  a film that I wasn't part of! I tortured myself with thoughts that I might have a brain tumor, or I was maybe going insane, that was most probably the scariest part of those few years of experiencing these feelings!

[BeeThrive]

I think most folk have experienced degrees of these conditions at least once at some point in life. Many are left confused by it, and go beyond it, to not know its called a specific state of consciousness.

Others who have lengthy experiences of this tend to delve deeper into cause and investigations.  
 

When we consider how ‘clockwork routine-y’ much of life is, we easily become conditioned by our routine, and then when anything occurs unexpected and uncontrollable, it spins a lot of people. It depends on the longevity and severity of change to what’s our ‘normal’, that determines how much it ‘spins’ us.

 

It’s something i think deserves more respect for the resilience and innovative ability of the mind to go to any length to protect itself. These states shouldnt be socially stigmatised, and receive more common acceptance and understanding, so when it is experienced, all support from various sources are available, instead of just a padded room in a nuthouse and a truckload of drugs.

The psychiatry system is still very archaic in its understanding and approach to the mind and consciousness, despite greats like Jung bull-dozing down inaccurate commonly held theories, we still have a long way to go until the system of psychiatry as a whole, world-wide, has advanced to a level that actually helps more than hinders people. 
 

What you folks describe i can relate to. For me, It’s a sense of floating and not connected to the body or the world. Observer stance is more accurate. What i liked personally is that mental chatter almost stopped completely for me. Thoughts were not flowing as fast or frequent like ‘usual’. In the centre of my fearful state i did sense a part of me absolutely calm, which was a paradox to my ego state of feeling freaked-out. It is like existing in an in-between state. I got used to it because it went on a while through a wild, sudden, shocking trigger. In a sense, the length of it was a blessing because i could explore the state more deeply after running-out of fear by it. It really was a relief for me to discover that fear does burn-out at a certain point. You could say i got used to it and was fascinated by it, from the perspective of understanding consciousness better.

 If it had happened for just a few days, then went, i’d probably had been left more confused and fearful, with more questions and apprehension about mentality. 
I came to understand how the various levels of our mind/awareness and consciousness will alter itself for the benefit of our whole being, to ultimately aid our growth and survival. 
Fear is usually a trigger, and it can feel like a lost place, but once that reaction subsides, we are given access to aspect of consciousness and mind/reality we dont normally realise exist when in just everyday 3-D ego mind. 
It taught me that those with unusual mental phenomenon experiences actually are a treasure trove of insight into layers of consciousness/realms not commonly known about, nor in the least understood.
If these experiences were regarded as knowledge to advance psych-understanding, instead of mental defection, we would carry the lantern Jung lit decades ago to new heights. He was the first psychologist to have stated his patients are his teachers of his vocation. Indeed, his work proved it. His open-mindedness is what allowed him to gain deeper insights into the mechanisms of mind/personality, that none since have actually surpassed, to my knowledge. He was willing to study and understand the spiritual aspect of mankind, which you’d be hard pushed to find in many modern ‘psych’ industry-trained bots.

I would sometimes lucid dream in a depersonalised state. I wouldnt intend to lucid dream, it happened by itself. I’d wake up in dreams, and i would see myself in my dreams! Then i would suddenly inhabit/ be in my dream body, and experiencing the dream, all while lucid, then i would suddenly be out of my dream body looking at me in my dream-world. . Because it was a lucid dream i knew i was dreaming and the content was so unusual, i simply observed and didnt interfere with the content. I recalled it easily like any living day of life, as i had full awareness in the dream. It was so bizarre to be watching me wandering around in my dreams. This happened mostly during intense unremitting stress in my life. A trapped feeling I had which i wanted to ‘get out of’.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Certified Green of Heart]

I've got SHED LOADS to do offline, sooo only maybe (space_void_time_blackhole) commenting on this later.. I have saved a draft I hope to find the time to post.... but not really on this specific topic with this specific condition in mind.. More a damnation and a rebuke of the system.

Edited December 7, 2022 by Certified Green of Heart