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  • 1 year later...

Due To LGBTQP+++++XYZ boycotts and cancellations because of lack of diversity hires, Santa has ordered New Uniforms to be issued For all his Little Helpers complete with Pro-noun Name Tag.




The Polar Union of Northern Elite Eleves (PUNEE) have staged a walk out in protest demanding better working condition and that new uniforms do not include compulsory butt plugs.



Edited by SkyBlueEyes
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As a result of Black Live Matter "Mostly" peacful protest in the north pole which melted large patches of the Ice cap due to claims that Santa having a White Beard is just a White Supremacist, Green Peace has Joined in on the protest Claiming Santa being Located in the North Pole is the cause of Green House Emission due to his Large Distubution Center..

Santa Has Responded by denouncing all white supremacy group are evil and any form of racism is wrong unless perpetrated by POC's and That green Peace should Target Amazon as he is now Going to be a Black own bussiness.



Edited by SkyBlueEyes
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king Charles did a quick and unscheduled spin around the South Coast today, although he had been advised not to go out in such breezy conditions, with ears like his! He was later found drifting out to sea about 6 miles off the coast of Newhaven by some jolly young men in a small dinghy who quickly hoisted him aboard their leaky craft after seeing a reflection from the silver spoon lodged in his mouth! He was able to borrow dry clothing and landed incognito in Newhaven none the worse for his ordeal!


Queen Cami Knickers was out for a morning canter and was unavailable for comment today!

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Santa is claiming Racial harresment after being pulled over in every county in the UK and states "I had no more than 1 glass of Sherry in every house he visted on the night in question, it was just because I am Black", 


The police Said "That is not the case as it was because his suspicious behaviour that alerted them to him. After being pulled over after a 6 mile chase it was discovered Santa was not wearing a seat belt, swerving around chimney stacks, sexual abuse, breaking and entering, tooled up for the commission of crime with items that include bolt cutters, crowbar , safe cracking equipment and lock picks and being 12 times over the legal alcohol limit"


Santa Lawyer Slimy Wormtongue stated "That it was a clear case of mistaken identity, the tool he was carry is for his job, the abusive cat calls should be dissmissed as it proves he just like your average hot blood male, the breaking and entering allegation should be dropped as all those properties had centeral heating and no proper chimney stack. And the 12 times over the legal was incorrect as he is a diabetic and his mediction will display a false reading on the test equipment"


The Feminist Victims of the sexual abuse allegation are claiming "He is a sexist masonogist as he wa clearly circling over there heads so he could look down there blouses"

Slimy Wormtongue responded "With knockers like what they got who could blame him".


The Crown Prosecution Service under review of the case stated "That due to nature of his skin colour and it being his first offence all charges will be dropped and the police should check there white privilage and leave Santa alone." Mz Ima Notaman further went on to add "Altougth she completly understand the feminist are saddened by the lack of commitment to stop masogany, Mz Ima would offer them a night out with her as compensation, drinks will provided with the option of a stop over if they are to drunk to safely return home."



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Under Advice From Clown-ass Swab, Santa was told to offer a new line in toys to hand out at Christmas if he wants the protests and police harresment to stop. George Soros has also offered to help with financing for production of the newline.

Santa does not think it what the parent want for there child as he has recieved a tonne of backlash in the past when he had a toy line of toy guns.


Preposed Suicide pods



Christian groups who have heard about this suggestion thru The Elf Whistle Blower Hot-Line were out-raged by this new toy line and vowed that will cancel christmas and lynch Santa if He was to climb down there chimney..

Santa has said he will take it into consideration but for now will rule it out as he needs the Cristian movement to support him as he can not supply enougth coal until coal production is increased due to the rise in naughtyiness.

Edited by SkyBlueEyes
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