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How do you REALLY feel inside?


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I'm wondering how people truly feel deep inside?

 

Me, I run the range of feeling angry, ultimately helpless, powerless, angry again (!!) and fearful. My husband is 12 years older than me at 56. He is under a lot of pressure from his employer (we are in the UK) to take the jab. I have told the NHS I am not willing to even consider it until ALL trials are finished. So far, they have left me alone despite me having an auto immune condition. I am set in my mind that I will never have the covid jabs. It will have to be over my dead body. I worry that my husband will cave to the pressure and struggling, very badly, to accept its his body and his choice.

 

I've been through various phases, the 'prepper' being one of them. I gave up to be honest. I live in a small village in East Anglia (England) and have very little storage space and have the full knowledge that I could not defend against anyone coming to take what we have by force.

 

I have tried very hard to have compassion for those wholly caught up in the official covid narrative but as time has gone on I have not been able to sustain that compassion beyond children and the elderly (who very badly need people to advocate for them). I feel myself growing hard in my thoughts towards those who have had over 18 months to at least figure out that something is very badly wrong but who just lap up the MSM narrative. Even though I am well aware that the PTB have a divide and rule strategy, I still cannot understand or accept those who are dragging us all in to hell through their wilful ignorance.

 

I've been at the stage of researching successful suicide, determined to try and have the choice. I will never have the covid injection.

 

Im just wondering how other 'normal' people like me are faring and if there is anyway we can practically and emotionally support/help each other?

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31 minutes ago, Pop Goes The Weasel said:

 

 

I've been through various phases, the 'prepper' being one of them. I gave up to be honest. I live in a small village in East Anglia (England) and have very little storage space and have the full knowledge that I could not defend against anyone coming to take what we have by force. 

 

You're lucky you don't live in a big town or city. 

 

Why doesn't your husband just tell everyone he has allergies. 

 

We all have allergies one way or another.

 

That's probably the cause of a lot of the bad side-effects..... who knows....

 

But allergies.... medical exemption etc...

 

 

Edited by Truthspoon
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Thank you for opening up. I feel much the same only my OH has had both, so that horse has bolted! I've had to accept it but I think you can guess how I feel about that. It causes arguments like we've never had before and I worry for him. I try not to let it mess up the great relationship we have had and what a lovely man he is. He brought up my first two children from another marriage like his own and we have had a trusting and truthful life together. I'm not going to let this cult beat us. It has been harder for him because he has always conformed and his upbringing did this. I've always been like Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye - I think everyone is phoney and I question everything. He also has to have cancer treatment and has to visit hospitals a lot (he's doing good by the way!) so he's more prone to being sucked in than me. I'm mad at TPTB more than him because in some ways he's been pushed into a corner. I have hope for us all and I think some force must protect us in the end. We've not led our lives as decent people to be trampled on. By that I mean people on here who seek truth. I hope OH had the placebo because he's fine! Love to all!

Edited by Useyournous
added about placebo
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15 hours ago, Pop Goes The Weasel said:

I'm wondering how people truly feel deep inside?

 

Me, I run the range of feeling angry, ultimately helpless, powerless, angry again (!!) and fearful. My husband is 12 years older than me at 56. He is under a lot of pressure from his employer (we are in the UK) to take the jab. I have told the NHS I am not willing to even consider it until ALL trials are finished. So far, they have left me alone despite me having an auto immune condition. I am set in my mind that I will never have the covid jabs. It will have to be over my dead body. I worry that my husband will cave to the pressure and struggling, very badly, to accept its his body and his choice.

 

I've been through various phases, the 'prepper' being one of them. I gave up to be honest. I live in a small village in East Anglia (England) and have very little storage space and have the full knowledge that I could not defend against anyone coming to take what we have by force.

 

I have tried very hard to have compassion for those wholly caught up in the official covid narrative but as time has gone on I have not been able to sustain that compassion beyond children and the elderly (who very badly need people to advocate for them). I feel myself growing hard in my thoughts towards those who have had over 18 months to at least figure out that something is very badly wrong but who just lap up the MSM narrative. Even though I am well aware that the PTB have a divide and rule strategy, I still cannot understand or accept those who are dragging us all in to hell through their wilful ignorance.

 

I've been at the stage of researching successful suicide, determined to try and have the choice. I will never have the covid injection.

 

Im just wondering how other 'normal' people like me are faring and if there is anyway we can practically and emotionally support/help each other?

Find others in your area of a similar mindset and join them and network with them, there is still time.

 

I joined a stand in the park group we have members who are builders, gardeners, butchers all sorts of decent folks who don't want this system.

No doubt you have skills that others lack.?

 

The nwo want us separated and miserable, by banding together we stop them.

 

https://astandinthepark.org/groups/uk/

Also on telegram app.

https://t.me/astandinthepark

 

Seriously do this, it will give you a boost.!

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5 minutes ago, shadowmoon said:

Find others in your area of a similar mindset and join them and network with them, there is still time.

 

I joined a stand in the park group we have members who are builders, gardeners, butchers all sorts of decent folks who don't want this system.

No doubt you have skills that others lack.?

 

The nwo want us separated and miserable, by banding together we stop them.

 

https://astandinthepark.org/groups/uk/

Also on telegram app.

https://t.me/astandinthepark

 

Seriously do this, it will give you a boost.!

Thank you very much for this - will check it out :)

 

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15 hours ago, Useyournous said:

Thank you for opening up. I feel much the same only my OH has had both, so that horse has bolted! I've had to accept it but I think you can guess how I feel about that. It causes arguments like we've never had before and I worry for him. I try not to let it mess up the great relationship we have had and what a lovely man he is. He brought up my first two children from another marriage like his own and we have had a trusting and truthful life together. I'm not going to let this cult beat us. It has been harder for him because he has always conformed and his upbringing did this. I've always been like Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye - I think everyone is phoney and I question everything. He also has to have cancer treatment and has to visit hospitals a lot (he's doing good by the way!) so he's more prone to being sucked in than me. I'm mad at TPTB more than him because in some ways he's been pushed into a corner. I have hope for us all and I think some force must protect us in the end. We've not led our lives as decent people to be trampled on. By that I mean people on here who seek truth. I hope OH had the placebo because he's fine! Love to all!

I'm truly sorry to read about your husband :( It sounds like you are going through an awful lot and are under a tremendous amount of strain. Please look after yourselves - you are so very right about not letting this all mess up a wonderful relationship :) I wish you both all the very best. 

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1 minute ago, Pop Goes The Weasel said:

Thank you very much for this - will check it out :)

 

Please do.

Its an hour on a sunday morning, though it often stretches out into a couple of hours as we just keep chatting away.

Last year and into this year I was feeling really isolated by the covid events, I found these folks and its been great. 

 

Been ill for a few days so couldn't go this week, got some texts this morning.." get well soon" from the group members,  being on forums is good ,but real life meeting is SO  much better.

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4 hours ago, Pop Goes The Weasel said:

I'm truly sorry to read about your husband :( It sounds like you are going through an awful lot and are under a tremendous amount of strain. Please look after yourselves - you are so very right about not letting this all mess up a wonderful relationship :) I wish you both all the very best. 

Very nice of you. We are getting along fine and as far as this scamdemic goes I'm not worse than anyone else. There are people going through all sorts in many different ways. I feel for people with children in High rise flats - things like that.

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21 hours ago, Pop Goes The Weasel said:

I've been at the stage of researching successful suicide, determined to try and have the choice.

 

Practically speaking, it appears nigh on impossible to find an efficient method which isn't messy or problematic. I knew someone who committed suicide successfully but his family would not divulge the methodology. 

 

I have desired it, but my survival instinct never drops below a certain level, so cannot conceptualize it. The only way I would be able to conceptualize it would be if it was quick, easy, efficient and painless, i.e. like flicking a switch. If it were that easy, I think it would be a lot more popular. Because of a strong survival instinct I have an interest in prepping, too. My supplies would probably last two people around nine months. Beyond that storage is an issue.

 

I have desired it not because of the covid situation but because I struggle to deal with my emotions, principally anger and loneliness. Because the fucking retards who raised me successfully managed to condition me into a state of resistance to the emotion of anger, I have been 'stuck' on it, off and on, most of my life. If I were able to completely master emotional vipassana, I wouldn't be discussing suicide, it simply wouldn't occur to me. 

 

The Covid situation won't cause suicidality within me, mainly because I have plenty experience of being an outsider, so would inevitably be able to brave anything that was thrown at me. I have very little to lose. The people who have not 'awakened' by now are a mystery to me. I cannot decide whether it is genuine lack of awareness or deliberate denial, I vacillate between the two. Either way, I don't envy them the moment (in this life or the next) they realize that the 'authority' figures they suckle at the teat of, don't care whether the general population lives or dies.

Edited by Ethel
typo
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Powerless. Not reaching people I can deal with but seeing it in your own close can't members or household and seeing them annihilate themselves gives me a great deal of powerlessness. 

 

 

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Pre plandemic,incredulous -

"I suspect most people I work with are idiots!"

 

Early in plandemic,cautiously optimistic -

"Surely some of them can see the blatant hoaxery?"

 

18 months later,despairingly-

"Yep,they are idiots,even worse than I thought possible!"

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For the most part, I already abandoned the societal fascade, stripping the trimmings of modernity before Covid-1984. So I'm not in such a state of shock as I was prepared for hell on Earth. I'm just angry and concerned. I expect things to get much more horrifying, and it's hard to say whether I will have the inner strength to endure it, but I'm not sure what choice I have. My kin needs me, so I can't give up. If I didn't have an angelic niece and a younger sibling that need me, then I don't know what would keep me going in all honesty.

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I am in a similar situation. (+chronically ill) At the moment I am not able to listen anymore to any of both sides. I am convinced, that viruses are not the problem (or don't exist) and the ridicule and hatred over this opinion hurts a lot. But I am also not able to progress spiritually. I feel like an utter failure when I listen to those, who found peace, freedom, etc.. and who are now talking like they are the Aryan race and we others just lost, evil, unable  ..... etc.. Even listening to David I. starts to hurt. He does not seem to understand, what many of the people he's talking about, have gone through in their lives. To me a lot of what he says sounds dualistic, although he says, that we are all one.

 

Unfortunately, I don't have any recommendation. I just wished I had the courage the put an end to this life and at some times, that I had never come across all this conspiracy stuff and just followed the mass. 

 

Edited by Elsa_80
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On 8/9/2021 at 9:59 AM, Elsa_80 said:

I am in a similar situation. (+chronically ill) At the moment I am not able to listen anymore to any of both sides. I am convinced, that viruses are not the problem (or don't exist) and the ridicule and hatred over this opinion hurts a lot. But I am also not able to progress spiritually. I feel like an utter failure when I listen to those, who found peace, freedom, etc.. and who are now talking like they are the Aryan race and we others just lost, evil, unable  ..... etc.. Even listening to David I. starts to hurt. He does not seem to understand, what many of the people he's talking about, have gone through in their lives. To me a lot of what he says sounds dualistic, although he says, that we are all one.

 

Unfortunately, I don't have any recommendation. I just wished I had the courage the put an end to this life and at some times, that I had never come across all this conspiracy stuff and just followed the mass. 

 

 

I relate strongly. I won't say "you're not alone" because I know that if you feel alone, it hurts to have someone say that, but I understand and can relate strongly to what you are expressing. I often view myself as something in need of 'fixing' and it causes me to behave in dysfunctional ways. Sorry for what you are going through. I wish you well, for what it's worth.

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  • 2 months later...

hello everybody

 

-----

 

re: how do i really feel deep inside?

 

this is a very personal question but a good one because it is time for us to remember our shared humanity and begin to speak honestly and from the heart. i am no different to most of the people that i know: i feel unloved, unlovable, and that nothing i do is good enough.

 

-----

 

victims no longer everybody!

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