Jump to content

Psychosis and hallucinations - just the 'wrong brain chemistry' or something more?


dnxmix
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hi all, pretty new to the forum but couldn't find a similar topic and not sure if my 'case' is individual or if there are other people with this experience.

 

Long story short, 2013. In spring time I had a psychotic episode (acute) which started in winter and lasted for 4 months before I was hospitalized at the Psychiatric ward in my hometown. During that time in the first and biggest psychotic stage I had hallucinations (mostly voices in my head). As time was passing I had more intense and louder voices and a scenario that was shown in my perception back then was basically a parallel world with totally different meanings of everything you know but yet I was seeing things as they are. I was only 19 yo when this thing happened to me and before that period I was pretty much into psychology, philosophy, eastern and ancient cultures, social phenomenon etc.

 

All that ''knowledge'' and unsolved traumas from the past turn against me (in my mind with disablans of molecules in charge of transmitting information - neurotransmitters) and play horrific and paranoid parallel reality where everything is against me and I cannot escape anywhere. As time passed, the information in my head was ''telling me and convincing me'' in scenarios like that the whole China is watching me on screens, that stars in the skies are lights that come from holes in some fabric, that my hair on my body are small antennas etc... the day I tried to ''commit suicide'' by jumping from small building I had really bizarre ''scenario'' that I am living in the matrix and voice that was telling me was controlling my movement and I felt like marionet puppet and couldn't resist anymore and that's why i ended on the building and jumped.

 

Still today I don't know how I survived without any scar (I had a cast on my neck for a few months and that's it). Was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward where they just chained me in bed and drug me with pills not knowing what I am taking. I was there for one month and only had one 10 min conversation with a doctor who just said I had psychosis and if I take the pills I will be fine. After 4 weeks of taking antipsychotics I no longer had voices and on my way to become 'normal'

 

After that hospital experience I was searching for a private psychotherapist with whom I did 6 years of psychotherapy, changed medications to the right ones with minimal dose. Since last 4 years I finished sociology as a 'potential student' because of my way of thinking, I had several summer jobs and lived in 2 countries as part of some students mobilities. Meet new people, travel and discover so many things about psychology and help many people with just following my instinct and personal belief.

 

But all this time, for the last 7 years I was really open about my mental health and what happened to me, since then I have more urge to help people dealing with traumas and confusion. People I met after that period until now were telling me how they feel open saying some personal stuff and feel more calmed in my presence and could easily understand my point of view of the situations and opinions. Since I am empathic and sensible as a person and have this experience I wanted to use it for better cause to spread some light.

 

Since my first psychotic episode was really extreme and traumatized me I was on the side of science and dosing the information about anything out of the "normal" to not trigger back that fear and paranoia. Also from time to time I heard about some other people who had psychosis in their adolescent years and some of the "hallucinations beliefs" were similar (Chinese, being watched and "the end is near" fear)

I was somehow blocking thinking about it and often just repeating myself the vocabulary that my psychotherapist was telling me about my condition and taking pills as I supposed to.

And I first discovered David Icke and his thoughts in the period of the first phase of psychotic state and somehow everything I read made sense even though I was "not normal". Somehow I felt the urge to look what David is saying about covid and since then I try to read his thoughts as much as I can. But since he had written so many materials (books, movies..) I couldn't find anything so far about this "psychotic illness" and other related.

 

When this all Covid hoax and panic started it triggered that fear and paranoia (because at first I believed it). After I came to my senses and looked for other opinions and follow my instinct I started to follow David's videocasts which helped me a lot to understand this situation and 'reality' more deeply. (Thx! )

 

I wanted to open this topic and see if there other people with similar stories or experience or if someone has some insight of this; please write here or in my inbox. Also some links or books would be awesome to look at this "mental health" topic from a non-psychology view.

 

P.S. Hope you understand my story. I am more curious and open to find out more about all this. Thanks! :) 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

People are so trained to view anything about the brain and negative times, as something to do with mental illness.

 

Think about it.

 

People that go through such episodes, are wrongly taught that its bad. Sometimes it may be, but alot of times people do not appreciate they are going through this for a reason. But they are never taught that maybe you are going through this for a reason, and its about learning something within you coming out.

 

The film the exorcist shows a real spiritual awakening, and most people do not understand this. Its exaggerated of course like hollywood does, but its a real version of what a real spiritual awakening is.

 

If you go through one, and i assume by your writings you are, one thing thats very important is to stay grounded. Many people go through such things, and are lost the rest of there lifes and are hospitalised till they die. Its so important to stay with some form of grounding going through these experiences, and eventually you will get through it.

 

Thats all people can really say, as its your journey, but remember there is a reason your going through this, and a minority of people all over the world go through something similar.

 

Keep something within yourself grounded, ie to keep it real. It can be a wild journey going through such things, and you should not just see it as a negative experience, but something a minority of all humans go through.

 

Also remember that going through this, be careful of who you listen too, as the real answers your looking for come from within. People are so obsessed with looking for external answers, and only you know what your going through in this.

 

My only advice with it, is keep a part of you grounded, no matter how wild your brain, or mind goes, and eventually you will get through to the other end. You will be a different person, and depending on how you took that journey, you will have a new way of looking at the world.

Edited by andy1033
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 minutes ago, andy1033 said:

People are so trained to view anything about the brain and negative times, as something to do with mental illness.

 

Think about it.

 

People that go through such episodes, are wrongly taught that its bad. Sometimes it may be, but alot of times people do not appreciate they are going through this for a reason. But they are never taught that maybe you are going through this for a reason, and its about learning something within you coming out.

 

The film the exorcist shows a real spiritual awakening, and most people do not understand this. Its exaggerated of course like hollywood does, but its a real version of what a real spiritual awakening is.

 

If you go through one, and i assume by your writings you are, one thing thats very important is to stay grounded. Many people go through such things, and are lost the rest of there lifes and are hospitalised till they die. Its so important to stay with some form of grounding going through these experiences, and eventually you will get through it.

 

Thats all people can really say, as its your journey, but remember there is a reason your going through this, and a minority of people all over the world go through something similar.

 

Keep something within yourself grounded, ie to keep it real. It can be a wild journey going through such things, and you should not just see it as a negative experience, but something a minority of all humans go through.

 

Also remember that going through this, be careful of who you listen too, as the real answers your looking for come from within. People are so obsessed with looking for external answers, and only you know what your going through in this.

 

My only advice with it, is keep a part of you grounded, no matter how wild your brain, or mind goes, and eventually you will get through to the other end. You will be a different person, and depending on how you took that journey, you will have a new way of looking at the world.

Thank you and I agree with you. For me there was always something mysterious about all this in general and especially since I had that experience which in the end only make me stronger and wiser. 

Of course, I couldn't be this today if I don't have my grounding methods. I find my "recipe" to keep stability but with all this happening in world last year in some days is bit harder. I see so many people being "zombi look" or talking nonsenses, being more extreme or drug/alcohol abussing cuz they are suffering, their emotional and spiritual body don't have what is required to have to be balanced. Hard to observe but still trying to influence ones I can and share the truth :) 

 

Thx for reply. Cheers :) 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/10/2021 at 3:30 PM, dnxmix said:

Hi all, pretty new to the forum but couldn't find a similar topic and not sure if my 'case' is individual or if there are other people with this experience.

 

Long story short, 2013. In spring time I had a psychotic episode (acute) which started in winter and lasted for 4 months before I was hospitalized at the Psychiatric ward in my hometown. During that time in the first and biggest psychotic stage I had hallucinations (mostly voices in my head). As time was passing I had more intense and louder voices and a scenario that was shown in my perception back then was basically a parallel world with totally different meanings of everything you know but yet I was seeing things as they are. I was only 19 yo when this thing happened to me and before that period I was pretty much into psychology, philosophy, eastern and ancient cultures, social phenomenon etc.

 

All that ''knowledge'' and unsolved traumas from the past turn against me (in my mind with disablans of molecules in charge of transmitting information - neurotransmitters) and play horrific and paranoid parallel reality where everything is against me and I cannot escape anywhere. As time passed, the information in my head was ''telling me and convincing me'' in scenarios like that the whole China is watching me on screens, that stars in the skies are lights that come from holes in some fabric, that my hair on my body are small antennas etc... the day I tried to ''commit suicide'' by jumping from small building I had really bizarre ''scenario'' that I am living in the matrix and voice that was telling me was controlling my movement and I felt like marionet puppet and couldn't resist anymore and that's why i ended on the building and jumped.

 

Still today I don't know how I survived without any scar (I had a cast on my neck for a few months and that's it). Was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward where they just chained me in bed and drug me with pills not knowing what I am taking. I was there for one month and only had one 10 min conversation with a doctor who just said I had psychosis and if I take the pills I will be fine. After 4 weeks of taking antipsychotics I no longer had voices and on my way to become 'normal'

 

After that hospital experience I was searching for a private psychotherapist with whom I did 6 years of psychotherapy, changed medications to the right ones with minimal dose. Since last 4 years I finished sociology as a 'potential student' because of my way of thinking, I had several summer jobs and lived in 2 countries as part of some students mobilities. Meet new people, travel and discover so many things about psychology and help many people with just following my instinct and personal belief.

 

But all this time, for the last 7 years I was really open about my mental health and what happened to me, since then I have more urge to help people dealing with traumas and confusion. People I met after that period until now were telling me how they feel open saying some personal stuff and feel more calmed in my presence and could easily understand my point of view of the situations and opinions. Since I am empathic and sensible as a person and have this experience I wanted to use it for better cause to spread some light.

 

Since my first psychotic episode was really extreme and traumatized me I was on the side of science and dosing the information about anything out of the "normal" to not trigger back that fear and paranoia. Also from time to time I heard about some other people who had psychosis in their adolescent years and some of the "hallucinations beliefs" were similar (Chinese, being watched and "the end is near" fear)

I was somehow blocking thinking about it and often just repeating myself the vocabulary that my psychotherapist was telling me about my condition and taking pills as I supposed to.

And I first discovered David Icke and his thoughts in the period of the first phase of psychotic state and somehow everything I read made sense even though I was "not normal". Somehow I felt the urge to look what David is saying about covid and since then I try to read his thoughts as much as I can. But since he had written so many materials (books, movies..) I couldn't find anything so far about this "psychotic illness" and other related.

 

When this all Covid hoax and panic started it triggered that fear and paranoia (because at first I believed it). After I came to my senses and looked for other opinions and follow my instinct I started to follow David's videocasts which helped me a lot to understand this situation and 'reality' more deeply. (Thx! )

 

I wanted to open this topic and see if there other people with similar stories or experience or if someone has some insight of this; please write here or in my inbox. Also some links or books would be awesome to look at this "mental health" topic from a non-psychology view.

 

P.S. Hope you understand my story. I am more curious and open to find out more about all this. Thanks! :) 

 

Hi Dnxmix, 

 

Thank you for sharing. It can be really hard to talk about these things. 

 

I am in a similar situation to yourself and completely understand what you mean. 

 

With my episodes, it's very intense, like a door has opened as I see all truth. It can be overwhelmingly terrifying. 

 

I believe we can see into other parallel worlds.. I'll give you my story.. 

I access another world through my dream state. Only it isn't a dream. It is another life I live when I am asleep (it is no wonder I am fatigued 24/7!)

It's so real and it links a lot into my daily life in the form of premonitions. 

These "dreams" only began after the Dr prescribed me psychiatric medication. 

I stopped them last November and I still have these "dreams". It's very much like a parallel reality.

I do also experience normal dreams and they are completely different. 

 

Do you experience this? I am yet to meet anyone who does.. I wondered if it was due to my mental state or whatnot.. Or if I opened up a door. 

 

I also experimented with psychedelics when I was younger as I loved the messages and the things I would see were life changing...

Until my last few times that sucked and put me Into constant paranoia which I cannot shift. 

I feel I can see things for what they really are and it makes me want to hide away. I have done anyway. 

No one gets it (well, the folk here do! That's why I love this forum.)

The average Joe on the street doesn't have a clue though. 

 

Some days are worse than others.. 

I am medication free and it has been absolute hell. 

I am coming round now, luckily and have started getting acupuncture and I now take prescribed Chinese herbal medicines. 

 

I was in a deep state of paranoia recently.

Couldn't leave my home, or my bed for that matter. 

People walking past were filming me and the old neighbour across the road looked like a young person spying on me. I swear I was seeing a young person looking into my window. 

My partner seen the elderly neighbour. 

 

Hearing the knocks or footsteps.. 

Even taking a shower I hear people screaming. 

 

I get suspicious of everyone at times.. It's horrible. 

 

Have we opened a door to other worlds? 

What differentiates us to psychics? 

 

Such a puzzle. 

 

 

Edited by allymisfit
Typos and forgot important info
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Looking into the subconscious. Lots of garbage in there, but so is The Truth(Reality-GOD). Stick with That no matter what.

 

LOVE Is The Truth, and IT/I Am Infinitely Greater and more Effective than any illusion or false idea, I Am The TRUTH--My name is LOVE. I Am with You Always.

Remember.

 

Above All; The Truth.

Edited by novymir
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/18/2021 at 3:00 AM, allymisfit said:

 

Hi Dnxmix, 

 

Thank you for sharing. It can be really hard to talk about these things. 

 

I am in a similar situation to yourself and completely understand what you mean. 

 

With my episodes, it's very intense, like a door has opened as I see all truth. It can be overwhelmingly terrifying. 

 

I believe we can see into other parallel worlds.. I'll give you my story.. 

I access another world through my dream state. Only it isn't a dream. It is another life I live when I am asleep (it is no wonder I am fatigued 24/7!)

It's so real and it links a lot into my daily life in the form of premonitions. 

These "dreams" only began after the Dr prescribed me psychiatric medication. 

I stopped them last November and I still have these "dreams". It's very much like a parallel reality.

I do also experience normal dreams and they are completely different. 

 

Do you experience this? I am yet to meet anyone who does.. I wondered if it was due to my mental state or whatnot.. Or if I opened up a door. 

 

I also experimented with psychedelics when I was younger as I loved the messages and the things I would see were life changing...

Until my last few times that sucked and put me Into constant paranoia which I cannot shift. 

I feel I can see things for what they really are and it makes me want to hide away. I have done anyway. 

No one gets it (well, the folk here do! That's why I love this forum.)

The average Joe on the street doesn't have a clue though. 

 

Some days are worse than others.. 

I am medication free and it has been absolute hell. 

I am coming round now, luckily and have started getting acupuncture and I now take prescribed Chinese herbal medicines. 

 

I was in a deep state of paranoia recently.

Couldn't leave my home, or my bed for that matter. 

People walking past were filming me and the old neighbour across the road looked like a young person spying on me. I swear I was seeing a young person looking into my window. 

My partner seen the elderly neighbour. 

 

Hearing the knocks or footsteps.. 

Even taking a shower I hear people screaming. 

 

I get suspicious of everyone at times.. It's horrible. 

 

Have we opened a door to other worlds? 

What differentiates us to psychics? 

 

Such a puzzle. 

 

 

 

 

Hi Allymisfit. 

Well it is a puzzle indeed but in my experience with all this subject it is really important to try to stay grounded and function in everyday life and to dose this questions of understanding what it can be etc. After I post here I was researching a bit and learned new stuff about it, also watched this documentary "Crazywise" (only available on Vimeo and need to pay for it) about understanding mental health states from western and 'primitive' cultures. It was hard to watch in some parts but it has good messages about how to use this state of mind/spirit for better cause. But even in the cultures who don't see psychosis or schizophrenia as 'broken brain' and more like 'spiritual awakening' they make sure that person who is dealing with this has his mentor (often shamans) who is guiding them through transformation process. In their beliefs it important to use that experience and for person with the 'symptoms' to see it as something good and contribute to society. 
Now, since we are living in western society where they treat people with psychological symptoms as animals most of the people don't find good mentor/psychotherapist and deal with that alone which is pretty sad. 

In my case, in my 'recovery' phase, I had non-typical psychotherapist who didn't put to much focus on diagnosis label and followed the protocol. Through years of therapy he guided me step by step to detect my patterns, forgive myself, encourage me to step into world, embrace my individuality and so on. Also I had luck with few friends and meeting right people during last years so. Also, Even that I am stable for long time I still take medications (antipsychotic) who help me be grounded and functional. 

 

Every person has it's own recipe and path with this. I found really helpful having biorhythm like going to sleep and wake up in similar time and have enough sleep (8 hours) is super important. Sleep is really good for brain to balance, if you have problems with it maybe to try to take some sleeping pills to have calmer dreams also :) 

In my case, I don't remember my dreams since I was 10 yo. Before that I was sleepwalking as a kid and had really vivid dreams but after that I (Luckily) sleep tight and almost nothing can wake me up. 

 

Try to do some activities to express yourself more, like writing/painting to get out thing in your head/soul in some creative channel (that was my trick also :) ) 

and decoding this things what are you seeing or experiencing when you are stressed/non-focused/in panic is maybe not the best. Brain is really powerful tool and can trick you sometimes. 

 

Hang in there, step by step :) 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 months later...
On 4/10/2021 at 3:30 PM, dnxmix said:

Hi all, pretty new to the forum but couldn't find a similar topic and not sure if my 'case' is individual or if there are other people with this experience.

 

Long story short, 2013. In spring time I had a psychotic episode (acute) which started in winter and lasted for 4 months before I was hospitalized at the Psychiatric ward in my hometown. During that time in the first and biggest psychotic stage I had hallucinations (mostly voices in my head). As time was passing I had more intense and louder voices and a scenario that was shown in my perception back then was basically a parallel world with totally different meanings of everything you know but yet I was seeing things as they are. I was only 19 yo when this thing happened to me and before that period I was pretty much into psychology, philosophy, eastern and ancient cultures, social phenomenon etc.

 

All that ''knowledge'' and unsolved traumas from the past turn against me (in my mind with disablans of molecules in charge of transmitting information - neurotransmitters) and play horrific and paranoid parallel reality where everything is against me and I cannot escape anywhere. As time passed, the information in my head was ''telling me and convincing me'' in scenarios like that the whole China is watching me on screens, that stars in the skies are lights that come from holes in some fabric, that my hair on my body are small antennas etc... the day I tried to ''commit suicide'' by jumping from small building I had really bizarre ''scenario'' that I am living in the matrix and voice that was telling me was controlling my movement and I felt like marionet puppet and couldn't resist anymore and that's why i ended on the building and jumped.

 

Still today I don't know how I survived without any scar (I had a cast on my neck for a few months and that's it). Was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward where they just chained me in bed and drug me with pills not knowing what I am taking. I was there for one month and only had one 10 min conversation with a doctor who just said I had psychosis and if I take the pills I will be fine. After 4 weeks of taking antipsychotics I no longer had voices and on my way to become 'normal'

 

After that hospital experience I was searching for a private psychotherapist with whom I did 6 years of psychotherapy, changed medications to the right ones with minimal dose. Since last 4 years I finished sociology as a 'potential student' because of my way of thinking, I had several summer jobs and lived in 2 countries as part of some students mobilities. Meet new people, travel and discover so many things about psychology and help many people with just following my instinct and personal belief.

 

But all this time, for the last 7 years I was really open about my mental health and what happened to me, since then I have more urge to help people dealing with traumas and confusion. People I met after that period until now were telling me how they feel open saying some personal stuff and feel more calmed in my presence and could easily understand my point of view of the situations and opinions. Since I am empathic and sensible as a person and have this experience I wanted to use it for better cause to spread some light.

 

Since my first psychotic episode was really extreme and traumatized me I was on the side of science and dosing the information about anything out of the "normal" to not trigger back that fear and paranoia. Also from time to time I heard about some other people who had psychosis in their adolescent years and some of the "hallucinations beliefs" were similar (Chinese, being watched and "the end is near" fear)

I was somehow blocking thinking about it and often just repeating myself the vocabulary that my psychotherapist was telling me about my condition and taking pills as I supposed to.

And I first discovered David Icke and his thoughts in the period of the first phase of psychotic state and somehow everything I read made sense even though I was "not normal". Somehow I felt the urge to look what David is saying about covid and since then I try to read his thoughts as much as I can. But since he had written so many materials (books, movies..) I couldn't find anything so far about this "psychotic illness" and other related.

 

When this all Covid hoax and panic started it triggered that fear and paranoia (because at first I believed it). After I came to my senses and looked for other opinions and follow my instinct I started to follow David's videocasts which helped me a lot to understand this situation and 'reality' more deeply. (Thx! )

 

I wanted to open this topic and see if there other people with similar stories or experience or if someone has some insight of this; please write here or in my inbox. Also some links or books would be awesome to look at this "mental health" topic from a non-psychology view.

 

P.S. Hope you understand my story. I am more curious and open to find out more about all this. Thanks! :) 

Hello, there you are the same as me I had first experience at 26 and can fully understand everything you have said here upon this post, it's strange that it's so clear to see even after these events occur what the general themes are, mine where the same about things being sharply revealed I called this Rosemary's Baby syndrome as I was the hapless fool being exploited by the witchy locals and their mind games, the town had two masonic lodges at either end of the town centre, and a pre history of quite serious child trafficking for 32 years, one of the political founders was a chid abuser, C.P was part of the cult brainwashing employees through political confusion and creating socialised sociopath's as civil servants. The meds were their income base and a way to get rid of us the outcasts, jobless, so yeah I've had strange indications as well, so mine are far out as well, I had and still have 'voices' and what's best described as subvocalized live streaming upon some kind of EMF bandwidth (this is how it comes across) sorry if this post has jack knifed as I am attempting to put things into context. 

 

Anyway your not alone mate.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/18/2021 at 2:00 AM, allymisfit said:

 

Hi Dnxmix, 

 

Thank you for sharing. It can be really hard to talk about these things. 

 

I am in a similar situation to yourself and completely understand what you mean. 

 

With my episodes, it's very intense, like a door has opened as I see all truth. It can be overwhelmingly terrifying. 

 

I believe we can see into other parallel worlds.. I'll give you my story.. 

I access another world through my dream state. Only it isn't a dream. It is another life I live when I am asleep (it is no wonder I am fatigued 24/7!)

It's so real and it links a lot into my daily life in the form of premonitions. 

These "dreams" only began after the Dr prescribed me psychiatric medication. 

I stopped them last November and I still have these "dreams". It's very much like a parallel reality.

I do also experience normal dreams and they are completely different. 

 

Do you experience this? I am yet to meet anyone who does.. I wondered if it was due to my mental state or whatnot.. Or if I opened up a door. 

 

I also experimented with psychedelics when I was younger as I loved the messages and the things I would see were life changing...

Until my last few times that sucked and put me Into constant paranoia which I cannot shift. 

I feel I can see things for what they really are and it makes me want to hide away. I have done anyway. 

No one gets it (well, the folk here do! That's why I love this forum.)

The average Joe on the street doesn't have a clue though. 

 

Some days are worse than others.. 

I am medication free and it has been absolute hell. 

I am coming round now, luckily and have started getting acupuncture and I now take prescribed Chinese herbal medicines. 

 

I was in a deep state of paranoia recently.

Couldn't leave my home, or my bed for that matter. 

People walking past were filming me and the old neighbour across the road looked like a young person spying on me. I swear I was seeing a young person looking into my window. 

My partner seen the elderly neighbour. 

 

Hearing the knocks or footsteps.. 

Even taking a shower I hear people screaming. 

 

I get suspicious of everyone at times.. It's horrible. 

 

Have we opened a door to other worlds? 

What differentiates us to psychics? 

 

Such a puzzle. 

 

 

I understand these experience's of what's termed as gang stalking and cyber torture/electronic harassment that the abnormal surveillance and interest in you just living, as the younger generation become more Lord of the files with the inclusion of cyber culture and mobbing using spying as pleasure seeking.

This is my interpretation of some of the content you have shared.    

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/18/2021 at 5:32 AM, novymir said:

Looking into the subconscious. Lots of garbage in there, but so is The Truth(Reality-GOD). Stick with That no matter what.

 

LOVE Is The Truth, and IT/I Am Infinitely Greater and more Effective than any illusion or false idea, I Am The TRUTH--My name is LOVE. I Am with You Always.

Remember.

 

Above All; The Truth.

LIFE IS LOVE as love is given un to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

From my up coming book:

 

 

The Martinist Order is an advanced ‘psychic’ society within the framework of Rosicrucianism. A great deal of material from the so called Traditional Martinist Order, based in San Jose California presumably part of AMORC, was leaked onto the internet some years ago. Interestingly the symbol for the Martinist organisation is two triangles, one black and one white, interlocked to form a what is commonly called the Seal of Solomon or Star of David. The following extract from this leaked material is from Associate Discourse number 14 and is interesting in that it shows that they acknowledge the changes in brain chemistry which higher initiates undergo and one must try to resist being drawn-in by the colourful new-age language employed to make some of the changes undergone seem generally beneficial and positive. For instance the phrase ‘astral images’ can be translated as ‘hallucinations’ seeing things which are not there, and a common symptom of advanced psychosis and schizoaffective disorders:

 

"A very interesting point worth mentioning at this time is that the circulation of the nervous force within man puts him in communication with the universe. In highly evolved mystics, there occurs what in occultism is sometimes called the circulation of astral images. These astral images generally appear to be coming from the back of the head. This is not altogether exact, but it will give an idea as to the nature of this phenomenon….This will be important when we study the actions of the invisible world so important to every Martinist."

 

Similarly the phrase ‘being put in communication with the universe’ sounds wonderfully exciting and like some jolly intergalactic adventure, but what it really implies is the hearing of voices and seeing beings which are not visible to other people, no different to the three ghostly forms at Barbara O Brien’s bedside telling her she was part of a secret experiment.

 

This psychic transformation is something which appears to be part of the UFO agenda. Vallee discover a group in Palo Alto California operating from the campus of Stanford University, which appeared to be a cross between new-age spirituality and UFO cult:

 

“They were seeking real truth. The text was signed by flying-saucer believers who called themselves H.I.M. or Human Individual Metamorphosis. The announcement continued: ‘...are attempting to completely rise above their human nature under the direction of individuals who are members of a kingdom above human who have come in at close range to the Earth to help.’ They compare this period of overcoming their human nature to the metamorphic process of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.”

 

Vallee attends a talk by the group and a bearded man speals in terms of personal psychic transformation much like the Rosicrucian groups and possibly the kind of ‘transformations’ undergone by Evelyn Waugh and Barbara O Brien:

 

“They are now just finishing completing their own physical metamorphosis. Their bodies have almost completely changed over physically, chemically, biologically. They look just like you and I on the surface. Within a few months there will be a demonstration. When we have changed our bodies over through this process, we no longer have to endure disease or decay or death.”

 

Vallee reports that one person who joined the group in 1975 left the group after two months having some concerns:

 

“These two people are dangerous. It is not hypnosis. It is thought transplant."'

And when during one of the talks someone from the audience asked:

"How do you know that you're not being deceived by demonic forces?"

The unconvincing response which Vallee reports may lead one to rightly ask whether this is the reality behind much of the UFO phenomenon which cannot be explained by secret American post war technology.

Vallee asks one of his friends who had attended a meeting of the Order of Melchizedek some questions about the order and its aims. His friend report on someone called Dr Grace from the Order of Melchizedek who delivered lectures:

 

"I asked her if she had ever seen a UFO. She had. She described to me what she had seen once in the eastern part of the United States, with her husband. It was a craft, only fifty feet or so away, and she felt that the beings on board were communicating directly to her, into her brain." 

 

If Dr Grace was telling the truth then it would appear that the people who were leading the UFO and New-Age cults of the 1970’s were doing so under the instructions of voices in their heads. We have seen how Barbara O Brien’s voices and hallucinations manages to create an extremely cogent continuum of reality, and at times there were even things which the voices told her which she herself could not have possibly known and which potentially helped save her from danger on several occasions.

 

Returning to O Brien’s account she is told by the Operators that some humans are actually almost fully possessed by the Operators. These were known as ‘Dummies’ a Dummy had apparently lost its personality and personal volition and was fully under the control of the Operators:

 

“I was horrified. Why would an Operator want to make a dummy out of a Thing? “Well, Operators use dummys as hatracks,” Nicky explained. “Most of the great comic entertainers are dummys. Bob Hope, for instance. When an entertainer like Hope is performing, he’s merely giving out what some Operator is stimulating him to do. There’s no latticework to interfere with the receiving of the stimuli. In certain situations, a dummy can be quite an asset to a clever Operator. It’s something like having a puppet on a string.”

 

Interestingly MRI scans have been conducted on the brains of those with psychopathic personality disorder. Many psychopathic murderers have historically attributed their sprees to some other agent operating through them, though of course their testimonies have been rejected as the ravings of madmen. But what if there were something to it. The research conducted by the University of Wisconsin-Madison shows that the brain scans of psychopaths show extremely diminished activity in the prefrontal cortex area of the brain. The prefrontal cortex is the area which is linked to a person’s personality, the will to live, personal volition and decision making. This really is the area which is the focal point of most people’s lives and is in essence the part of the brain which makes them who they are, the decisions the make, the plans they have and how they act in social interactions.

Since the pre-frontal cortex is the decision making, will and personal focus area of the brain, then what we may be observing in the psychopathic personality is the person who is lacking a will and the ability to make their own decisions. So who or what is making those decisions for them?


Perhaps these people have acquiesced their will to the hidden masters, or ‘extra-terrestrial’ beings which those leading the UFO cults claimed to be in contact with. What are these beings? Extra-terrestrial, extra-dimensional beings? Demons? Most people live their lives mentally driving through life in the front seat of their car but the psychopath appears to be sat in the front seat, but is not the one driving. Something else is directing the course.

This may give an insight into the strange mystery that many of the people who had left the H.I.M. group:

“The people who left their group would just go home and, for several weeks, simply stare at the walls.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...