I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND

[Seconal]

As a youngster I was a literal minded fellow and especially at that young age I often found myself dumbstruck by certain sayings that really made no sense. These Idioms, these colloquial metaphors and if one is not local or having to hear a translation, then one could be thoroughly confused and quite right to think the English language is bonkers.

 

Take these sayings for instance, unless one knows their meaning then they are non-sensical gibberish.

 

• Shit of a Stick

 

So fast it was like 'shit of a stick', now I know technology has come far today but was flinging shit of a stick really once a measurement of speed?

 

• Water under the Bridge

 

Sure, it means to forgive, to let things go, let them flow away like 'water under the bridge. But was someone sat on a bridge watching the water and thought 'hay, that would make a good metaphor, feelings and grudges are like water under a bridge. Maybe he saw a stick float past with shit on it and that's where the idea came from?

 

• Don't count your Chickens

 

Ok, don't take things for granted. Surely overestimating the number of Chickens one expected from a nest of Eggs could never be such a problem as to warrent a metaphor.

 

• Kick the Bucket

 

Hmmm, I've no fucking idea.

 

• Piece of Cake

 

Ahh Piece of Cake, yeah easy Piece of Cake, cmon man that was a Piece of Cake. What is it about this Cake that is so easy and why is only one piece of it recognised. Surely if it's an easy Cake then as Parts of the Sum a Piece would be as easy as the the whole. And why a piece, why not a slice. You have a slice of Cake, a slice of Pizza. If someone offered me a piece of Pizza I'd look at them confused, what piece? A pepperoni, coz even that comes in slices and now we're back to square one.

 

• Back to Square one

 

Evolutionary biology teaches that millions of years ago our genetic history started out with a primordial ooze. However this can't be true as apparently everything started on something called 'Square One'. What is this Square One, are there other Squares too, maybe there are triangles, but that seems unlikely. Either way, In the begining was Square One and the Square was with God and the Square was God.

 

• Raining Cats & Dogs
• Put a Sock in it
• The Bee's Knees

 

As a youngster I was a literal minded fellow and especially at that young age I often found myself dumbstruck by certain sayings that really made no sense.....and as an adult I'm still just as confused as I was before.

 

This whole thing has cost me an arm and a leg and although I've been tickled pink, I must hit the Hay because it really is time I got fifty winks.

 

- Seconal

Edited February 8, 2021 by Seconal

[Seconal]

I have a theory about Pinky and the Brain. Although Pinky seems to be stupid, he may actually be playing the fool in order to sabotage the Brains nightly attempts of taking over the World.

 

Pinky loves The Brain and knows it would break his heart should he no longer be able to plan his world conquest as from this desire his will and spirit is kept alive, its his reason for living

 

So Pinky plays the great fool just happening to not only sabotage The Brains plans but also saving The Brain from his own destruction.

 

Or maybe, just maybe, I am just projecting all over them....

 

Wasn't the Animaniacs awesome... Here's Yakko's Nations of the World.

 

 

Edited February 8, 2021 by Seconal

[Foggy Dewhurst]

On 2/8/2021 at 4:40 AM, Seconal said:

As a youngster I was a literal minded fellow and especially at that young age I often found myself dumbstruck by certain sayings that really made no sense. These Idioms, these colloquial metaphors and if one is not local or having to hear a translation, then one could be thoroughly confused and quite right to think the English language is bonkers.

 

Take these sayings for instance, unless one knows their meaning then they are non-sensical gibberish.

 

• Shit of a Stick

 

So fast it was like 'shit of a stick', now I know technology has come far today but was flinging shit of a stick really once a measurement of speed?

 

• Water under the Bridge

 

Sure, it means to forgive, to let things go, let them flow away like 'water under the bridge. But was someone sat on a bridge watching the water and thought 'hay, that would make a good metaphor, feelings and grudges are like water under a bridge. Maybe he saw a stick float past with shit on it and that's where the idea came from?

 

• Don't count your Chickens

 

Ok, don't take things for granted. Surely overestimating the number of Chickens one expected from a nest of Eggs could never be such a problem as to warrent a metaphor.

 

• Kick the Bucket

 

Hmmm, I've no fucking idea.

 

• Piece of Cake

 

Ahh Piece of Cake, yeah easy Piece of Cake, cmon man that was a Piece of Cake. What is it about this Cake that is so easy and why is only one piece of it recognised. Surely if it's an easy Cake then as Parts of the Sum a Piece would be as easy as the the whole. And why a piece, why not a slice. You have a slice of Cake, a slice of Pizza. If someone offered me a piece of Pizza I'd look at them confused, what piece? A pepperoni, coz even that comes in slices and now we're back to square one.

 

• Back to Square one

 

Evolutionary biology teaches that millions of years ago our genetic history started out with a primordial ooze. However this can't be true as apparently everything started on something called 'Square One'. What is this Square One, are there other Squares too, maybe there are triangles, but that seems unlikely. Either way, In the begining was Square One and the Square was with God and the Square was God.

 

• Raining Cats & Dogs
• Put a Sock in it
• The Bee's Knees

 

As a youngster I was a literal minded fellow and especially at that young age I often found myself dumbstruck by certain sayings that really made no sense.....and as an adult I'm still just as confused as I was before.

 

This whole thing has cost me an arm and a leg and although I've been tickled pink, I must hit the Hay because it really is time I got fifty winks.

 

- Seconal

 

If anyone is interested,the term

"Bee's Knees" comes from an actress from the 1920s,called Lupi Valez.

 

She had a thick Spanish accent and was wont to call something impressive

"The Business"

But with her heavy accent it came out as:

"Theese eese the bee's knees"

and people around her took it up and led to various modifications

"The Cat's Whiskers"

"The Elephant's Pajamas(sic)"

 

She decided to end her glamorous life by suicide,taking an overdose in the expectation of her glamorous cadaver being headline news and a legacy of tragic beauty dying young.

 

Unfortunately she was violently sick everywhere in the bathroom,slipped and fell cracking her head on the toilet bowl.

 

Not how she wanted to be remembered,but the best laid plans,eh,Billy the Nerdboy?

 

 

[Seconal]

Ha, that's brillaint. 'The Ants Pants'. I know who you're talking about. She took an intentional overdose and in full hair and make-up with a beautiful dress she lay on her bed holding a Rose (as the story goes) upon her chest.

 

However as you said, she did not go quietly in that goodnight and soon became violently sick, making an absolute mess of her suicide, still she was remembered. Yet I wouldn't say her plans 'gang after glee' as per the saying, more like 'slipped in pee'.

 

She is in good company though, as for famous people who died on the toilet there is most notably Elvis Presley, Judy Garland and just for variety Catherine the Great.