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Understanding how those from the shadows feed from us

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hi to all


forwarded  the above response to Gareth Icke (the adminstrator of the forum.) i asked him if such a response is acceptable on the David Icke website.


wow! didn't expect that response on a forum and website that stands for making this world a better place for all.


have known from the initial few responses to my posts that the powers that be that have tried to rattle and destroy Icke over the last thirty years have no doubt also infiltrated this forum. we are all entitled to our own opinion, but there is no need to be nasty. life is not cruel. people are cruel. any doubt to that statement, then read the above response to my post.


my question is where are the good people. why is there silence to such a response. 


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13 hours ago, steven geldenhuys said:

hi to all


forwarded  the above response to Gareth Icke (the adminstrator of the forum.) i asked him if such a response is acceptable on the David Icke website.


wow! didn't expect that response on a forum and website that stands for making this world a better place for all.


have known from the initial few responses to my posts that the powers that be that have tried to rattle and destroy Icke over the last thirty years have no doubt also infiltrated this forum. we are all entitled to our own opinion, but there is no need to be nasty. life is not cruel. people are cruel. any doubt to that statement, then read the above response to my post.


my question is where are the good people. why is there silence to such a response. 


Perhaps the statement made by 'rideforever' was based on some sort of self analysis.

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  • 2 weeks later...

(i started this thread, so it is only my duty that i finish it. may what has been said in the posts above and below be enough to set you free.

all the best,



To understand the cruelty of Life is good to know, but in the big picture this means nothing to us as it does nothing to enrich our lives, or more importantly – to transform our lives for the better.

What is important to understand, is what effect the cruelty of Life has on us. By understanding how cruelty impacts our life, we can undo the process and reclaim what we rightfully are.


Before I met my neighbour next door I never knew such people exist. I have met low-life trash, but I have never met the scum of the Earth – those cruel bastards that lie and bully their way through life, all the time  crying that they are the victims of Life.

This morning as I drove home I passed this cruel Beast and had the opportunity to look him in the face. The nasty and cruel behaviour of this man has had an impact on my life to this day, and seeing this man this morning gave me the opportunity to reflect on what the cruelty of Life does to us.

(I have been touched by the cruelty of others, and trust me when I say that most the world over have experienced far worse than me, but the force of this neighbours hatefulness and nastiness literally stunned me.

It is within this shocked/stunned moment that the system of Life is allowed to exist.


Be it from the shock-waves of a bomb going off close to you within the war-torn desert of Afghanistan, or the verbal abuse from a neighbour, or seeing the carnage of flesh and steel intertwined in a motor vehicle accident, the effects of what happen to us in that moment of shock are the same.

What that effect is, is that a part of us is taken, never to be returned. We lose a part of us; a part of us is taken from us.


As has been said, we need to understand that when we are stunned/shocked by experiencing something that exists beyond the confines of what we would consider normal, a part of us is taken from us, where we become a fraction of the person we should be. Now can you understand why we are so fragile; why we fall apart so easily? You are born into this world through the fear and apprehension of the one giving birth to you, as well as the fear of touching base with a frequency/world where survival, not Love, is supreme.

To understand what impact cruelty has on us, I would like to go back to that moment when my neighbour and his girlfriend verbally abused me. I walked away from the incident and I don’t remember walking back to the house. I found myself at my front door area in a daze. The shock of what had just happened to me made everything around me and within me unreal. 

I would like to understand now what happened to Steven during that moment where everything that was real suddenly became surreal. What happened to me? What I do now is go back to the moment before the abuse happened, when Steven was okay, and from there we go into the incident to understand what happened on the unseen.


I feel this point open on the centre of my brain, and then I feel this anti-clockwise spinning around my brain and whole body. I become delirious – it feels like I am drunk. Then the spinning stops, and there is a controlled, forceful clockwise movement around me.

It is during this counter movement to stop the unnatural and uncontrolled spinning from the traumatic incident that a part of us is lost. I feel the energy about half way down my left leg all the way to my foot disappear. This makes sense to me, as I have not been able to move forwards from this incident – I have not been able to get on with my life. (What is taken from us is specific to each individual. How the trauma affects you will be different from me.)


I reclaim this part of me now by understanding how it was lost.


I reclaim everything that was taken from me the biological computer by the cruelty of Life and its minions. This reclaiming I do now.


But this is only one half of the story, as what happens to us when we are cruel to others?

Now I go to the other side of the fence and experience what happened to my neighbour during his attack of me. I feel this draining of energy from his left heart area, where his heart energy/love disappears completely. Now the head rules – there is no love; no compassion; no empathy. Then I feel this anti-clockwise turning over the left side of the brain. There is then the clockwise spinning to counter the unnatural spinning. Then I feel a falling of the insides of this man. His skin is where it should be, but everything within him is falling downwards at an alarming speed. We lose ourselves – we forget who and what we are. We take our first step towards the living dead – within the seen and unseen realms. We forget what it is to live – to be happy. The innocence of laughter and joy no longer exist within our world.

This shearing; this falling when we are cruel, is for me our true split from the fields of Infinite Love. That is why true Beasts want you to feel bad when you have done nothing wrong; that is why the System is unjust; why the bully wins and the innocent are crushed – it is all orchestrated to split our minds and make us insane, but above all, Life is cruel to split us from Home so that we may feed the system of Hell. This System we created when we destroyed to survive.

When we entered the dense planes/frequencies of Hell our primary state of awareness was uncertainty. From this state we chose, but having said that, this is an unfair statement to make, as our lives have never been ours to own. We are slaves – feeders to a System that does not care.

Our survival meant taking at the expense of others, and through this definition we have all been cruel.


You forgive yourself now for every misdeed that you have done. Forgive yourself now so that you may shine your natural state of Love which will make amends for what you said and done as now your Love is making this world a better place for all.


Do I forgive my neighbour for his cruel deed?

What does forgiveness mean? Forgiveness means to forget, and if this is so, then I forgive him to forget him, so that I may move forwards away from cruel Beasts like him.

The lesson to learn is don’t become cruel – always be the being of Love that you are.


12:38 on 19/02/2021.


Most children are so excited to go back to school after the long holidays that the excitement keeps them from sleeping the night before the school starts. But where some see a thrill, others see fear.

This last Sunday I was awoken from my sleep by the tears of my daughter. She was so apprehensive of the school starting the following day that the fear overtook her and deprived her of sleeping, so she climbed into bed with us. In my half sleep state I felt her energy, and what I felt was this streaming/bleeding of energy just above the right kidney area. Her fear took her over, where she had no control over her life, and the system of Life was bleeding her – draining her energy from her. This loss of energy results in “flat spots” over our forms, where the body cannot function as it should, and hers was over the vocal chords where she at times cannot form words to speak.


We are a manufactured biological computer to feed the system of Life. Within Hell, our planet Earth is the illusion, and what hides from us within the shadows that we cannot see is real. We the seen feed the unseen. What we feed/emit is anything within the frequency/energy spectrum that is the opposite to Love, namely jealousy, hate, envy, fear, etc. But there needs to be order out of the Chaos, so moments of happiness, joy, compassion, etc. are also met. These moments of “peace” balance the hardships of Life so that we don’t self-destruct where Hell consumes us. We assume pleasures of Life bring us peace, but this is not so, because in truth there is no such thing as “peace” here within Hell.

Today we can be happy, and tomorrow we can be destroyed, and we all know this, hence the core of uncertainty within our forms.


How did they do that; how were we manufactured to be emitters of energy that feed cruel Beasts that live in the shadows?

My take to that question is an easy one: We were manufactured, and then thrown into the System to swim. As we swam in a system of Chaos we done what comes naturally – we emitted Chaos. How simple, yet brilliantly effective is that! My daughter releases energy/fear into the System when the System gets the better of her, and what she is doing is what she was manufactured to do – feed the system/frequency of Hell. Us feeding the System is as natural and effortless as breathing. All of us feed these Beasts – the unseen that I have been allowed to see.

We have been manufactured to be compatible to the frequency of Hell, and we have fitted in as we know of no other way. But what if we knew of another? What if we knew of the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness within us – this state of Infinite Love that is the All? Is our will to disconnect from Hell and connect to the strand within enough to set us free? Do we have the capacity to let go of everything we know and wish for in order to embrace the strand within and make it our own? Do we have to first lose everything, including our sanity, before we decide to become what we are according to our original birthright from the Source of Infinite Love? I refuse to allow sorrow to embrace me and my loved ones so that I may get a wake-up call. I choose to connect to the strand of the Creator within rather than the system of Life.

So be it.

13:59 19/02/2021


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If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that I know nothing.

We are searching and grasping for answers in a spectrum that our wildest imagination could never grasp.

If we stood together as one, which we all once originally were, the door Home and to the existence we are meant to lead would unfold within the moment. But we are so quick to criticize; to run others down; to hold onto our fragile beliefs that define who we are. We are fighters, and we are docile hopers, hoping more than anything that we will be loved and cared for.

I have been an unknown seeker my whole life, and a fighter for the raw, undiluted, basic truth for the last seven years. My energy is beginning to wane, as I have done everything I can to find a way out of Hell. I will never be a hoper, but I understand now that I have to be a receiver, as there is only so much I can grasp and understand.


When I talk about the Cruelty of Life, I refer to the innocent that have been touched by a world/frequency that doesn’t care. Many enjoy a good fight, and to these we let them be. It is to the innocent that my heart bled – to those that are born into a place where they don’t belong. For me, the majority of these innocent are the animals; those we kill and cage – because we can.


By setting the unseen free, the seen automatically follows suit. What I have done over the last seven years is set the unseen free through the understanding of what they have forgotten, in terms of who and what they are, as well as what happened to them before the beginning of time so that they may reclaim their true identity and return Home.

I have helped, and I have done everything I can to do so, but now I need help. I ask for help now from the innocent – those that refuse to become hateful and resentful when touched by the cruelty of Life.

I turn now to the Animal medicine – what the animals see that we cannot. They see the unseen; they know the unknown, but have never had the capacity to assist/transform, as they too have forgotten the big picture of who and what they are.

I assure you that they now know and understand, and thus are in a position to help those that wish help.


By helping the unseen, may the innocent; the Animals that witness the unseen, now be in a position to transform this realm that is hidden from us, so that we the seen may too be transformed.

As has been said, I have done everything I can from my part. I have no more energy to carry on. This journal I called What the Animals Taught Me – a journal of self-discovery. After almost a million written words, and seeing what few have been allowed to see and live to tell the tale, may the innocent now bestow upon us their Love and understanding to transform us into the states of Love that we all are.


You go into the silence; the stillness of the Infinite, and you drink from the cup of what the Animals bestow upon you; you drink what is needed for you to become you.

When you have drunken your fill, you be thankful for what you have received.






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Semiramis created the illusionary Garden – this unnatural playfield within the fields of Infinite Love.

There was no mal-intent in Queen Semiramis creating her Garden. When the Dragon spirits were offered to come and play in this Garden; to bite/take of this illusionary frequency, a state was formed that was unknown within the fields of the Infinite. This state was curiosity, as in “what more is out there,” and this unknown curiosity state coupled with the unheard of illusionary realm produced the Parasitic frequency of Deception, where everything was never enough. This insatiable state/worm/frequency took many over, where insanity became the norm, and logic and common sense were thrown out the window. The twisted mind and heart was born – that state that Steven defines as Cruelty.


From the Garden and its wicked ways, we fell into a dense frequency, and to keep everything intact – in control – the frequency of Hell was created. This spiders web with its many, many worlds was interlaced with the Parasitic frequency of Deception, and that is why the more dog-eats-dog way out of life is out there, the stronger the walls of Hell become, and the more certain we become that our insanity is the norm.

The Cruelty of Life is the Parasitic frequency of Deception, and this Parasite is not evil. It merely is what it is – it is what we created when we wanted to see what more is out there when we already had the Infinite.

Evil does not run Hell – indifference does, and that is what true killers and psychopaths are: they are indifferent to their victims. They do what they do because they are what they are, and to understand this twisted love one needs to understand how Hell was born – by our curiosity that created a Monster that was born/manifested within the illusionary Garden.


This morning I read the fascinating summary of a book called The Invisible Rainbow: A history of electricity and life, by Arthur Firstenberg. To quote the author, “the title refers to the entire electromagnetic spectrum comprising the colors of the rainbow, including the invisible frequencies such as radio frequencies and the fields generated around conducting wires.”

What the author writes about is the harmful effects of electricity to all life.


For me, “electricity” began with the frequency construct of Hell – which was not good or bad, it merely was. Intertwined within these walls/boundaries of Hell was the Parasitic frequency of Deception. This too was not bad, it merely was.

It was what we allowed these frequencies to do to us that created Monsters out of us. We never listened to our good hearts; we never understood the impact of our cruel actions on the life around us. Insanity made us lose touch with reality, namely that we are all children of  Infinite Love.


The brilliant observations by Firstenberg links how epidemics of the past and present can be linked to the unnatural electricity emitted by the technologies of the past up to the present.

I once again stress, that for me, it is not so much the electricity that is destroying us, it is what we have forgotten, and thus allowed, to take us over. We have forgotten this Parasitic frequency of Deception that is emitted to all life within Hell, and are thus victims to a cruel and unjust world.


If we listened to our good hearts we would have found reason. We would have understood that something was wrong, and eventually we would have figured out the cause of our malcontent – this Parasite within. We would have bathed this frequency in Love and returned Home, and my-oh-my, how different things would have been.


At some point in your life it would be wise to flex your muscles to understand your power.

When I see an animal patient and they are micro-chipped, the harmful electrical effects of the chip on the animals body are neutralized without me even thinking about it. This is so because I will not allow this known disharmony to impact my patient.  

And so it is with this Parasitic frequency of Deception that has infiltrated all Life and the walls of Hell itself. I will not allow this known disharmony to impact me and my loved ones. This is the power of understanding.



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Things were going well, which was a major breakthrough for me.

When I asked the animals for help, that night I saw them in my sleep state around me. Two nights back I saw  this man that had the air of aristocracy around him. His throne was built into his body. When he walked on this bed of distinguished superiority, you saw him and his throne as they were one. He brought his beetles that were over a meter long. I felt them pull on me as they tried to manipulate me, but there was nothing to fear as I saw and felt these sinister entities around me. I told them I am Love and they are an illusion, and an illusion cannot harm Love.


Then last night everything changed, as in it went back to normal – the way it has always been.

The implanted dream last night was long and drawn out. I woke up to see the one who had implanted it. He was Mongolian looking, with his dark complexture and handle-bar moustache. He crouched over me, waiting for something. Then, one by one, two of his grazing animals popped out of my space. As you would dip an animal in a trough of water, these yak animals dipped themselves in my energy that had accumulated from the really long and unpleasant implanted dream.


I woke us this morning, and as I lay in bed in my half sleep state, I tried to surmise what the hell had just happened. How could things suddenly go back to square one? My daughter was talking to my wife, telling her of the bad night’s sleep she also had, and then  I realized that something fishy was at play.


Last night as I was feeding the dogs outside I noticed something in the darkness on the ground close to me. It looked like a slug. Curiosity got the better of me, so I had a closer look with a torch. By this time the “slug” had moved and crept into a space within the wall, so all one saw was this head sticking out looking at you. It was a snake, about two inches long.

As an animal lover, no animals are harmed on our property. Snakes that have come to our house in the past are caught by snake handlers and released into a large expanse of the wild.

When I saw this small snake last night, I looked at it with indifference, and what I mean by this, is that I did not know what to make of it. My youngest daughter came to look, and she said the snake looked creepy-crawly. I rebuffed her statement and told her the snake was beautiful, but something within me knew I had just lied. There was something different to the frequency of this snake, and as it was different and I didn’t understand it, I pushed aside what was literally staring me in the face.


When family come to visit I carry the gun with the silver bullet, and for added measure, I hide within arm’s reach the wooden stake. Jokes aside, I know what I am dealing with, and thus automatically shield myself from the unpleasantness around me.

But it is the evil nature of entities in the seen and unseen realms that fuck us up, and this happens as this is their intention for it to happen. We have never had an antidote to the raw presence of disharmony that has the backing of the frequency all around us, namely that of Hell. So what happens is that we see, but we do not want to see, so we turn around and walk away. We don’t want to see because we never had the means to counter this presence that embodies Life as we know it. It is like an ant looking up at this gigantic shadow at it is about to be squashed by a foot. The presence is there, but what can we do about it? – Nothing, so we get on with our lives.

The disaster is that this sinister presence takes us over and destroys our lives and those around us. The divorce statistics, as an example, attest to this fact that something has had us by the short and curly’s and played with us in a most cruel way.


The point to make is two-fold: Be aware of your state of mind; if you become ratty sit down and reflect. The second point follows on from the first, and that is understand that your Love is bigger than the nonsense out there.

Go into the silence, and once in this space, allow yourself to reflect on your existence. All the shit; all the nonsense that has permeated your forms passes through you and is released, and this happens as  now you understand that your Love is stronger than those that have lost their way. What I should have done last night was reflect on this snake and seen it for what it was – a disharmonious frequency that came to destroy me and my loved ones. On the contrary, I cannot blame this frequency that this snake emitted, as I should have looked at myself first. The whole afternoon I was ratty and not myself. This is not me, as I don’t like to walk around with a black cloud overhead as it makes those around me uncomfortable.


Know yourself.

Know what you are: you are the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness. Be an expression of this state. Anything off centre then take a moment to reflect. What is going on around you or within you. Go into the silence, understand the cause, and then release this disharmony with the Love that you are.

Be street smart. Always know yourself. Now you have the power to see the sinister and acknowledge it, rather than sweep it aside, hoping that it will disappear. With your Love you release disharmony from your existence and those you Love so that it may never get the better of you.

The secret is time to reflect. Make time in your busy schedule to know yourself so that a stranger does not enter to destroy, and if they do, show them your Love so that you may carry on being this child of Infinite Love.


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A helium balloon will rise up to join the clouds when released from your hand. The balloon naturally rises up.

The strand of Inherent Goodness is located within the area of what we would call our throat. Around this strand is the frequency of Hell.

We hold onto our good hearts because, firstly, this is who and what we are, and secondly, because we want to get this world and our lives right as this is the right/natural thing to do. All this shit around us is not meant to be, and we do whatever we can to make this wrong right. So we keep going, doing our best to be happy along the way.

We hold onto our goodness, as deep down we understand that this is what we inherently are, as well as the fact that this is what society demands of us, but what if we just let our Goodness go so that it may be? We let the helium balloon go, all the while understanding that as much as it is free, so are we, as we cannot in truth let go of the string attached to the balloon as this string/connection is a natural extension of the balloon to us.


The point to make is that while we hold onto what we are, which is the strand of the Creator within, we do our best to make this place a better place for all, but what we don’t understand is that the game of Life is rigged where the house always wins. Either we cross over and become cruel Beasts, or we are broken by the cruel Beasts that we refused to become. Both parties end up in the Nothingness of the Forgotten. There are no winners boys and girls – all Fall.

Fiona Barnett wrote in her book Eyes Wide Open how she was one day having a conversation with one of the upper echelon members within satanism. They told Fiona that there is only evil here on planet Earth, and the sad truth is that this is true. All the worlds of Hell are ruled by Hell. If Love expressed itself in its true form life as we know it would not exist. That is why those that love die young and the bully gets to rule the schoolyard.


This strand; this expression of the Creator has been hidden from us, but in truth this is something that one cannot hide, as it merely is what it is. I have known about this strand within for at least a year now, and this understanding has done nothing to enrich or transform my life. Oh yes, I help others in a big way, but Steven is still where he has been his whole life – a lost fart going nowhere slowly. Why is this so? Could it be we hold onto our Goodness to protect ourselves from this world, as our goodness is all we have. Do we hold onto this natural state to make it our own instead of just letting it go so that this natural phenomena may just be? Are we so afraid of being alone? For me, the answer is a resounding “Yes.”


We need to always work things out – we need to be in control as around every bush there is a pitfall. But what if we just let this strand within go so that it may naturally rise and just be without any interference from us the illusionary forms? Doesn’t this make sense to let go of what naturally is so that it may shine upon and guide us and protect us? Protect is the wrong word to use, as within the strand there is Love and nothing else.


I let go of this strand within me now so that it may naturally rise and be what it is. This “star” within Steven is independent of Steven, and thus independent of Hell.

We always went down with the ship, holding onto our Goodness for as long as we could or wanted to. Now I let the ship float off to guide and engulf me, as this strand is real and I am merely an illusion.

So be it.

08:27 on 1st March, 2021.


We have held this natural phenomena within us down as our uncertainty got the better of us. Instead of allowing this Goodness within to soar, we used it as a crutch to survive in a world that does not care.

This strand has been released within my existence, but remember, there has always been the hidden hand controlling our existence. What has this force from the shadows done to withhold this strand from us?

Everything within Hell is energy – a frequency is motion. Within the fields of Infinite Love there is only the stillness that is the All.

To survive within Hell we need energy, and this energy we call food. One crosses the line to become a Beast of Hell when you understand that the raw basics here within Hell is to eat to survive. There is nothing to learn, except that we have become trapped within an unpleasant frequency. When I needed to understand the Cruelty of Life over seven years ago, I was shown what Hell is without the paper trimmings and sugar coatings. I was shown what those that rules us from the shadows do to us: they manipulate us so that they may feed from our energy. This feeding is the carrot on the stick in front of the donkey so that it may keep moving. Our survival depends on eating. We can have shelter for our body from the elements, but living in a palace means nothing unless there is sustenance to exist from.

And this is what the hidden hand has done from its part: it makes us look towards energy to survive rather than to the strand to set us free.

How did they do this; how did they make us believe that without food we would not survive? Yes, we were manufactured to survive off protein which arose from those we killed, but I don’t buy this as the simple explanation of why energy is the end all and be all of life within Hell.


Where or what is this belief within us that we have to eat to survive? (I ask this question so that our natural focus may be on the strand and not the quest for energy.)  

In the left lower quadrant of our abdomen is a force that is Life itself. It is primordial in nature – it has been with us since the inception of Hell. It has infused with all forms of our existence, as in body, soul and spirit. What it is, is fear. Where this fear arose from was the fall of the Wisdom Goddess Sophia. The impact zone of her fall created the frequency of the Serpent, and this infusion of her fear from her unnatural fall embedded itself within the Serpent that was born from her impact zone.

We speak about curiosity and uncertainty, but the first unnatural state within the fields of the Infinite was fear. How this fear came about was from a simple accident: the Wisdom Goddess Sophia exceeded the boundaries of her realm and fell. This fall created fear, which is a stronger form of uncertainty, and this fear infused the Dragon children of Sophia, and to a greater extent the Serpent.

This fear took our focus away from the strand within. This fear created a void within our forms, and how we filled this void was with energy, energy that we took from others. This taking became an addiction and then a natural state within Hell. Eventually we took whatever we could, and we forgot why we took – to fill this void within us that I call Fear that arose from the fall of the Creator.


This Fear is removed now from my forms, as well as the forms of all those I Love and those who Love me. Please do the same to yourself as Steven has done.

Now we can see and be the strand. Now there is not something else we have to focus on to try and subdue, namely the fear that was within all.

09:21 on 1st March, 2021.



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