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Understanding how those from the shadows feed from us

steven geldenhuys

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hi to all


forwarded  the above response to Gareth Icke (the adminstrator of the forum.) i asked him if such a response is acceptable on the David Icke website.


wow! didn't expect that response on a forum and website that stands for making this world a better place for all.


have known from the initial few responses to my posts that the powers that be that have tried to rattle and destroy Icke over the last thirty years have no doubt also infiltrated this forum. we are all entitled to our own opinion, but there is no need to be nasty. life is not cruel. people are cruel. any doubt to that statement, then read the above response to my post.


my question is where are the good people. why is there silence to such a response. 


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13 hours ago, steven geldenhuys said:

hi to all


forwarded  the above response to Gareth Icke (the adminstrator of the forum.) i asked him if such a response is acceptable on the David Icke website.


wow! didn't expect that response on a forum and website that stands for making this world a better place for all.


have known from the initial few responses to my posts that the powers that be that have tried to rattle and destroy Icke over the last thirty years have no doubt also infiltrated this forum. we are all entitled to our own opinion, but there is no need to be nasty. life is not cruel. people are cruel. any doubt to that statement, then read the above response to my post.


my question is where are the good people. why is there silence to such a response. 


Perhaps the statement made by 'rideforever' was based on some sort of self analysis.

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  • 2 weeks later...

(i started this thread, so it is only my duty that i finish it. may what has been said in the posts above and below be enough to set you free.

all the best,



To understand the cruelty of Life is good to know, but in the big picture this means nothing to us as it does nothing to enrich our lives, or more importantly – to transform our lives for the better.

What is important to understand, is what effect the cruelty of Life has on us. By understanding how cruelty impacts our life, we can undo the process and reclaim what we rightfully are.


Before I met my neighbour next door I never knew such people exist. I have met low-life trash, but I have never met the scum of the Earth – those cruel bastards that lie and bully their way through life, all the time  crying that they are the victims of Life.

This morning as I drove home I passed this cruel Beast and had the opportunity to look him in the face. The nasty and cruel behaviour of this man has had an impact on my life to this day, and seeing this man this morning gave me the opportunity to reflect on what the cruelty of Life does to us.

(I have been touched by the cruelty of others, and trust me when I say that most the world over have experienced far worse than me, but the force of this neighbours hatefulness and nastiness literally stunned me.

It is within this shocked/stunned moment that the system of Life is allowed to exist.


Be it from the shock-waves of a bomb going off close to you within the war-torn desert of Afghanistan, or the verbal abuse from a neighbour, or seeing the carnage of flesh and steel intertwined in a motor vehicle accident, the effects of what happen to us in that moment of shock are the same.

What that effect is, is that a part of us is taken, never to be returned. We lose a part of us; a part of us is taken from us.


As has been said, we need to understand that when we are stunned/shocked by experiencing something that exists beyond the confines of what we would consider normal, a part of us is taken from us, where we become a fraction of the person we should be. Now can you understand why we are so fragile; why we fall apart so easily? You are born into this world through the fear and apprehension of the one giving birth to you, as well as the fear of touching base with a frequency/world where survival, not Love, is supreme.

To understand what impact cruelty has on us, I would like to go back to that moment when my neighbour and his girlfriend verbally abused me. I walked away from the incident and I don’t remember walking back to the house. I found myself at my front door area in a daze. The shock of what had just happened to me made everything around me and within me unreal. 

I would like to understand now what happened to Steven during that moment where everything that was real suddenly became surreal. What happened to me? What I do now is go back to the moment before the abuse happened, when Steven was okay, and from there we go into the incident to understand what happened on the unseen.


I feel this point open on the centre of my brain, and then I feel this anti-clockwise spinning around my brain and whole body. I become delirious – it feels like I am drunk. Then the spinning stops, and there is a controlled, forceful clockwise movement around me.

It is during this counter movement to stop the unnatural and uncontrolled spinning from the traumatic incident that a part of us is lost. I feel the energy about half way down my left leg all the way to my foot disappear. This makes sense to me, as I have not been able to move forwards from this incident – I have not been able to get on with my life. (What is taken from us is specific to each individual. How the trauma affects you will be different from me.)


I reclaim this part of me now by understanding how it was lost.


I reclaim everything that was taken from me the biological computer by the cruelty of Life and its minions. This reclaiming I do now.


But this is only one half of the story, as what happens to us when we are cruel to others?

Now I go to the other side of the fence and experience what happened to my neighbour during his attack of me. I feel this draining of energy from his left heart area, where his heart energy/love disappears completely. Now the head rules – there is no love; no compassion; no empathy. Then I feel this anti-clockwise turning over the left side of the brain. There is then the clockwise spinning to counter the unnatural spinning. Then I feel a falling of the insides of this man. His skin is where it should be, but everything within him is falling downwards at an alarming speed. We lose ourselves – we forget who and what we are. We take our first step towards the living dead – within the seen and unseen realms. We forget what it is to live – to be happy. The innocence of laughter and joy no longer exist within our world.

This shearing; this falling when we are cruel, is for me our true split from the fields of Infinite Love. That is why true Beasts want you to feel bad when you have done nothing wrong; that is why the System is unjust; why the bully wins and the innocent are crushed – it is all orchestrated to split our minds and make us insane, but above all, Life is cruel to split us from Home so that we may feed the system of Hell. This System we created when we destroyed to survive.

When we entered the dense planes/frequencies of Hell our primary state of awareness was uncertainty. From this state we chose, but having said that, this is an unfair statement to make, as our lives have never been ours to own. We are slaves – feeders to a System that does not care.

Our survival meant taking at the expense of others, and through this definition we have all been cruel.


You forgive yourself now for every misdeed that you have done. Forgive yourself now so that you may shine your natural state of Love which will make amends for what you said and done as now your Love is making this world a better place for all.


Do I forgive my neighbour for his cruel deed?

What does forgiveness mean? Forgiveness means to forget, and if this is so, then I forgive him to forget him, so that I may move forwards away from cruel Beasts like him.

The lesson to learn is don’t become cruel – always be the being of Love that you are.


12:38 on 19/02/2021.


Most children are so excited to go back to school after the long holidays that the excitement keeps them from sleeping the night before the school starts. But where some see a thrill, others see fear.

This last Sunday I was awoken from my sleep by the tears of my daughter. She was so apprehensive of the school starting the following day that the fear overtook her and deprived her of sleeping, so she climbed into bed with us. In my half sleep state I felt her energy, and what I felt was this streaming/bleeding of energy just above the right kidney area. Her fear took her over, where she had no control over her life, and the system of Life was bleeding her – draining her energy from her. This loss of energy results in “flat spots” over our forms, where the body cannot function as it should, and hers was over the vocal chords where she at times cannot form words to speak.


We are a manufactured biological computer to feed the system of Life. Within Hell, our planet Earth is the illusion, and what hides from us within the shadows that we cannot see is real. We the seen feed the unseen. What we feed/emit is anything within the frequency/energy spectrum that is the opposite to Love, namely jealousy, hate, envy, fear, etc. But there needs to be order out of the Chaos, so moments of happiness, joy, compassion, etc. are also met. These moments of “peace” balance the hardships of Life so that we don’t self-destruct where Hell consumes us. We assume pleasures of Life bring us peace, but this is not so, because in truth there is no such thing as “peace” here within Hell.

Today we can be happy, and tomorrow we can be destroyed, and we all know this, hence the core of uncertainty within our forms.


How did they do that; how were we manufactured to be emitters of energy that feed cruel Beasts that live in the shadows?

My take to that question is an easy one: We were manufactured, and then thrown into the System to swim. As we swam in a system of Chaos we done what comes naturally – we emitted Chaos. How simple, yet brilliantly effective is that! My daughter releases energy/fear into the System when the System gets the better of her, and what she is doing is what she was manufactured to do – feed the system/frequency of Hell. Us feeding the System is as natural and effortless as breathing. All of us feed these Beasts – the unseen that I have been allowed to see.

We have been manufactured to be compatible to the frequency of Hell, and we have fitted in as we know of no other way. But what if we knew of another? What if we knew of the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness within us – this state of Infinite Love that is the All? Is our will to disconnect from Hell and connect to the strand within enough to set us free? Do we have the capacity to let go of everything we know and wish for in order to embrace the strand within and make it our own? Do we have to first lose everything, including our sanity, before we decide to become what we are according to our original birthright from the Source of Infinite Love? I refuse to allow sorrow to embrace me and my loved ones so that I may get a wake-up call. I choose to connect to the strand of the Creator within rather than the system of Life.

So be it.

13:59 19/02/2021


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If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that I know nothing.

We are searching and grasping for answers in a spectrum that our wildest imagination could never grasp.

If we stood together as one, which we all once originally were, the door Home and to the existence we are meant to lead would unfold within the moment. But we are so quick to criticize; to run others down; to hold onto our fragile beliefs that define who we are. We are fighters, and we are docile hopers, hoping more than anything that we will be loved and cared for.

I have been an unknown seeker my whole life, and a fighter for the raw, undiluted, basic truth for the last seven years. My energy is beginning to wane, as I have done everything I can to find a way out of Hell. I will never be a hoper, but I understand now that I have to be a receiver, as there is only so much I can grasp and understand.


When I talk about the Cruelty of Life, I refer to the innocent that have been touched by a world/frequency that doesn’t care. Many enjoy a good fight, and to these we let them be. It is to the innocent that my heart bled – to those that are born into a place where they don’t belong. For me, the majority of these innocent are the animals; those we kill and cage – because we can.


By setting the unseen free, the seen automatically follows suit. What I have done over the last seven years is set the unseen free through the understanding of what they have forgotten, in terms of who and what they are, as well as what happened to them before the beginning of time so that they may reclaim their true identity and return Home.

I have helped, and I have done everything I can to do so, but now I need help. I ask for help now from the innocent – those that refuse to become hateful and resentful when touched by the cruelty of Life.

I turn now to the Animal medicine – what the animals see that we cannot. They see the unseen; they know the unknown, but have never had the capacity to assist/transform, as they too have forgotten the big picture of who and what they are.

I assure you that they now know and understand, and thus are in a position to help those that wish help.


By helping the unseen, may the innocent; the Animals that witness the unseen, now be in a position to transform this realm that is hidden from us, so that we the seen may too be transformed.

As has been said, I have done everything I can from my part. I have no more energy to carry on. This journal I called What the Animals Taught Me – a journal of self-discovery. After almost a million written words, and seeing what few have been allowed to see and live to tell the tale, may the innocent now bestow upon us their Love and understanding to transform us into the states of Love that we all are.


You go into the silence; the stillness of the Infinite, and you drink from the cup of what the Animals bestow upon you; you drink what is needed for you to become you.

When you have drunken your fill, you be thankful for what you have received.






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Semiramis created the illusionary Garden – this unnatural playfield within the fields of Infinite Love.

There was no mal-intent in Queen Semiramis creating her Garden. When the Dragon spirits were offered to come and play in this Garden; to bite/take of this illusionary frequency, a state was formed that was unknown within the fields of the Infinite. This state was curiosity, as in “what more is out there,” and this unknown curiosity state coupled with the unheard of illusionary realm produced the Parasitic frequency of Deception, where everything was never enough. This insatiable state/worm/frequency took many over, where insanity became the norm, and logic and common sense were thrown out the window. The twisted mind and heart was born – that state that Steven defines as Cruelty.


From the Garden and its wicked ways, we fell into a dense frequency, and to keep everything intact – in control – the frequency of Hell was created. This spiders web with its many, many worlds was interlaced with the Parasitic frequency of Deception, and that is why the more dog-eats-dog way out of life is out there, the stronger the walls of Hell become, and the more certain we become that our insanity is the norm.

The Cruelty of Life is the Parasitic frequency of Deception, and this Parasite is not evil. It merely is what it is – it is what we created when we wanted to see what more is out there when we already had the Infinite.

Evil does not run Hell – indifference does, and that is what true killers and psychopaths are: they are indifferent to their victims. They do what they do because they are what they are, and to understand this twisted love one needs to understand how Hell was born – by our curiosity that created a Monster that was born/manifested within the illusionary Garden.


This morning I read the fascinating summary of a book called The Invisible Rainbow: A history of electricity and life, by Arthur Firstenberg. To quote the author, “the title refers to the entire electromagnetic spectrum comprising the colors of the rainbow, including the invisible frequencies such as radio frequencies and the fields generated around conducting wires.”

What the author writes about is the harmful effects of electricity to all life.


For me, “electricity” began with the frequency construct of Hell – which was not good or bad, it merely was. Intertwined within these walls/boundaries of Hell was the Parasitic frequency of Deception. This too was not bad, it merely was.

It was what we allowed these frequencies to do to us that created Monsters out of us. We never listened to our good hearts; we never understood the impact of our cruel actions on the life around us. Insanity made us lose touch with reality, namely that we are all children of  Infinite Love.


The brilliant observations by Firstenberg links how epidemics of the past and present can be linked to the unnatural electricity emitted by the technologies of the past up to the present.

I once again stress, that for me, it is not so much the electricity that is destroying us, it is what we have forgotten, and thus allowed, to take us over. We have forgotten this Parasitic frequency of Deception that is emitted to all life within Hell, and are thus victims to a cruel and unjust world.


If we listened to our good hearts we would have found reason. We would have understood that something was wrong, and eventually we would have figured out the cause of our malcontent – this Parasite within. We would have bathed this frequency in Love and returned Home, and my-oh-my, how different things would have been.


At some point in your life it would be wise to flex your muscles to understand your power.

When I see an animal patient and they are micro-chipped, the harmful electrical effects of the chip on the animals body are neutralized without me even thinking about it. This is so because I will not allow this known disharmony to impact my patient.  

And so it is with this Parasitic frequency of Deception that has infiltrated all Life and the walls of Hell itself. I will not allow this known disharmony to impact me and my loved ones. This is the power of understanding.



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Things were going well, which was a major breakthrough for me.

When I asked the animals for help, that night I saw them in my sleep state around me. Two nights back I saw  this man that had the air of aristocracy around him. His throne was built into his body. When he walked on this bed of distinguished superiority, you saw him and his throne as they were one. He brought his beetles that were over a meter long. I felt them pull on me as they tried to manipulate me, but there was nothing to fear as I saw and felt these sinister entities around me. I told them I am Love and they are an illusion, and an illusion cannot harm Love.


Then last night everything changed, as in it went back to normal – the way it has always been.

The implanted dream last night was long and drawn out. I woke up to see the one who had implanted it. He was Mongolian looking, with his dark complexture and handle-bar moustache. He crouched over me, waiting for something. Then, one by one, two of his grazing animals popped out of my space. As you would dip an animal in a trough of water, these yak animals dipped themselves in my energy that had accumulated from the really long and unpleasant implanted dream.


I woke us this morning, and as I lay in bed in my half sleep state, I tried to surmise what the hell had just happened. How could things suddenly go back to square one? My daughter was talking to my wife, telling her of the bad night’s sleep she also had, and then  I realized that something fishy was at play.


Last night as I was feeding the dogs outside I noticed something in the darkness on the ground close to me. It looked like a slug. Curiosity got the better of me, so I had a closer look with a torch. By this time the “slug” had moved and crept into a space within the wall, so all one saw was this head sticking out looking at you. It was a snake, about two inches long.

As an animal lover, no animals are harmed on our property. Snakes that have come to our house in the past are caught by snake handlers and released into a large expanse of the wild.

When I saw this small snake last night, I looked at it with indifference, and what I mean by this, is that I did not know what to make of it. My youngest daughter came to look, and she said the snake looked creepy-crawly. I rebuffed her statement and told her the snake was beautiful, but something within me knew I had just lied. There was something different to the frequency of this snake, and as it was different and I didn’t understand it, I pushed aside what was literally staring me in the face.


When family come to visit I carry the gun with the silver bullet, and for added measure, I hide within arm’s reach the wooden stake. Jokes aside, I know what I am dealing with, and thus automatically shield myself from the unpleasantness around me.

But it is the evil nature of entities in the seen and unseen realms that fuck us up, and this happens as this is their intention for it to happen. We have never had an antidote to the raw presence of disharmony that has the backing of the frequency all around us, namely that of Hell. So what happens is that we see, but we do not want to see, so we turn around and walk away. We don’t want to see because we never had the means to counter this presence that embodies Life as we know it. It is like an ant looking up at this gigantic shadow at it is about to be squashed by a foot. The presence is there, but what can we do about it? – Nothing, so we get on with our lives.

The disaster is that this sinister presence takes us over and destroys our lives and those around us. The divorce statistics, as an example, attest to this fact that something has had us by the short and curly’s and played with us in a most cruel way.


The point to make is two-fold: Be aware of your state of mind; if you become ratty sit down and reflect. The second point follows on from the first, and that is understand that your Love is bigger than the nonsense out there.

Go into the silence, and once in this space, allow yourself to reflect on your existence. All the shit; all the nonsense that has permeated your forms passes through you and is released, and this happens as  now you understand that your Love is stronger than those that have lost their way. What I should have done last night was reflect on this snake and seen it for what it was – a disharmonious frequency that came to destroy me and my loved ones. On the contrary, I cannot blame this frequency that this snake emitted, as I should have looked at myself first. The whole afternoon I was ratty and not myself. This is not me, as I don’t like to walk around with a black cloud overhead as it makes those around me uncomfortable.


Know yourself.

Know what you are: you are the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness. Be an expression of this state. Anything off centre then take a moment to reflect. What is going on around you or within you. Go into the silence, understand the cause, and then release this disharmony with the Love that you are.

Be street smart. Always know yourself. Now you have the power to see the sinister and acknowledge it, rather than sweep it aside, hoping that it will disappear. With your Love you release disharmony from your existence and those you Love so that it may never get the better of you.

The secret is time to reflect. Make time in your busy schedule to know yourself so that a stranger does not enter to destroy, and if they do, show them your Love so that you may carry on being this child of Infinite Love.


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A helium balloon will rise up to join the clouds when released from your hand. The balloon naturally rises up.

The strand of Inherent Goodness is located within the area of what we would call our throat. Around this strand is the frequency of Hell.

We hold onto our good hearts because, firstly, this is who and what we are, and secondly, because we want to get this world and our lives right as this is the right/natural thing to do. All this shit around us is not meant to be, and we do whatever we can to make this wrong right. So we keep going, doing our best to be happy along the way.

We hold onto our goodness, as deep down we understand that this is what we inherently are, as well as the fact that this is what society demands of us, but what if we just let our Goodness go so that it may be? We let the helium balloon go, all the while understanding that as much as it is free, so are we, as we cannot in truth let go of the string attached to the balloon as this string/connection is a natural extension of the balloon to us.


The point to make is that while we hold onto what we are, which is the strand of the Creator within, we do our best to make this place a better place for all, but what we don’t understand is that the game of Life is rigged where the house always wins. Either we cross over and become cruel Beasts, or we are broken by the cruel Beasts that we refused to become. Both parties end up in the Nothingness of the Forgotten. There are no winners boys and girls – all Fall.

Fiona Barnett wrote in her book Eyes Wide Open how she was one day having a conversation with one of the upper echelon members within satanism. They told Fiona that there is only evil here on planet Earth, and the sad truth is that this is true. All the worlds of Hell are ruled by Hell. If Love expressed itself in its true form life as we know it would not exist. That is why those that love die young and the bully gets to rule the schoolyard.


This strand; this expression of the Creator has been hidden from us, but in truth this is something that one cannot hide, as it merely is what it is. I have known about this strand within for at least a year now, and this understanding has done nothing to enrich or transform my life. Oh yes, I help others in a big way, but Steven is still where he has been his whole life – a lost fart going nowhere slowly. Why is this so? Could it be we hold onto our Goodness to protect ourselves from this world, as our goodness is all we have. Do we hold onto this natural state to make it our own instead of just letting it go so that this natural phenomena may just be? Are we so afraid of being alone? For me, the answer is a resounding “Yes.”


We need to always work things out – we need to be in control as around every bush there is a pitfall. But what if we just let this strand within go so that it may naturally rise and just be without any interference from us the illusionary forms? Doesn’t this make sense to let go of what naturally is so that it may shine upon and guide us and protect us? Protect is the wrong word to use, as within the strand there is Love and nothing else.


I let go of this strand within me now so that it may naturally rise and be what it is. This “star” within Steven is independent of Steven, and thus independent of Hell.

We always went down with the ship, holding onto our Goodness for as long as we could or wanted to. Now I let the ship float off to guide and engulf me, as this strand is real and I am merely an illusion.

So be it.

08:27 on 1st March, 2021.


We have held this natural phenomena within us down as our uncertainty got the better of us. Instead of allowing this Goodness within to soar, we used it as a crutch to survive in a world that does not care.

This strand has been released within my existence, but remember, there has always been the hidden hand controlling our existence. What has this force from the shadows done to withhold this strand from us?

Everything within Hell is energy – a frequency is motion. Within the fields of Infinite Love there is only the stillness that is the All.

To survive within Hell we need energy, and this energy we call food. One crosses the line to become a Beast of Hell when you understand that the raw basics here within Hell is to eat to survive. There is nothing to learn, except that we have become trapped within an unpleasant frequency. When I needed to understand the Cruelty of Life over seven years ago, I was shown what Hell is without the paper trimmings and sugar coatings. I was shown what those that rules us from the shadows do to us: they manipulate us so that they may feed from our energy. This feeding is the carrot on the stick in front of the donkey so that it may keep moving. Our survival depends on eating. We can have shelter for our body from the elements, but living in a palace means nothing unless there is sustenance to exist from.

And this is what the hidden hand has done from its part: it makes us look towards energy to survive rather than to the strand to set us free.

How did they do this; how did they make us believe that without food we would not survive? Yes, we were manufactured to survive off protein which arose from those we killed, but I don’t buy this as the simple explanation of why energy is the end all and be all of life within Hell.


Where or what is this belief within us that we have to eat to survive? (I ask this question so that our natural focus may be on the strand and not the quest for energy.)  

In the left lower quadrant of our abdomen is a force that is Life itself. It is primordial in nature – it has been with us since the inception of Hell. It has infused with all forms of our existence, as in body, soul and spirit. What it is, is fear. Where this fear arose from was the fall of the Wisdom Goddess Sophia. The impact zone of her fall created the frequency of the Serpent, and this infusion of her fear from her unnatural fall embedded itself within the Serpent that was born from her impact zone.

We speak about curiosity and uncertainty, but the first unnatural state within the fields of the Infinite was fear. How this fear came about was from a simple accident: the Wisdom Goddess Sophia exceeded the boundaries of her realm and fell. This fall created fear, which is a stronger form of uncertainty, and this fear infused the Dragon children of Sophia, and to a greater extent the Serpent.

This fear took our focus away from the strand within. This fear created a void within our forms, and how we filled this void was with energy, energy that we took from others. This taking became an addiction and then a natural state within Hell. Eventually we took whatever we could, and we forgot why we took – to fill this void within us that I call Fear that arose from the fall of the Creator.


This Fear is removed now from my forms, as well as the forms of all those I Love and those who Love me. Please do the same to yourself as Steven has done.

Now we can see and be the strand. Now there is not something else we have to focus on to try and subdue, namely the fear that was within all.

09:21 on 1st March, 2021.



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It is to the unseen that this journal is written.

May the old ways; the walls of Hell be broken down so that the natural state of Love may just be


Last night another dream was implanted. When I woke up to see those feeding from my energy I was livid. I had enough! I demanded to know where was the strand of Inherent Goodness that was supposed to be there for me. I went into the silence and called forth this strand; I wanted to feel and know it so that I may understand it. My silence was met with silence – I got no response.

I understand that Love loves all – the good, the bad and the ugly. I understand that it cannot always be about just me. I understand this. What I also understand is that we all deserve to be our natural state of Love – including me and you. Am I being unreasonable to ask that this happens sooner than later, or am I just being impatient.

When I go into the silence I feel and understand what is going on within the unseen. Transformations have been made. This I assure you. The more I hear about this covid nonsense, the more I understand that dimensional entities are taking over the Human race so that we may be a free-flowing energy source to them. No more manipulations; no more subduing our species and keeping us in line. As we would sit on a hammock on a tropical beach sipping on a pinna-colada, so too will these Aliens effortlessly sip of our energy while we are totally under their control.

Fun and laughter and freedom as we knew it will be no more. The good, the bad, and the ugly will be under the control of cruel, intelligent Beasts, and that enslavement includes those fuckers that are rigging our lives for these bastards.


By dismantling Hell, we dismantle the ways of cruel Beasts. We pull their fangs, where what was important to them, which is tyranny and cruelty, is no more. We let them sleep, where they return to what they are, which is Love.



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The man who helps me in my garden once a week is from Malawi. I gave him a lift home yesterday, and I asked him out about working and staying in a foreign land. He said that it was best to work here as there was no work in his country, and then he said something that epitomed life in South Africa and the worlds at large. He said he missed the peace in Malawi, as the people are always fighting here in South Africa. Wow! Talk about hitting the nail on the head. Black fight with Black. White fight with White. White and Black fight. How many countries the worlds over were born with bloodshed?

Mike said he missed the peace of his home, and believe you me, I miss the peace of my Home.


Last nights implanted dream was a first; it was something I never experienced before; it was a taste of what is to come – on the unseen it is there, and it will integrate into our seen world down the road we are led at an alarming pace.


The road ahead of us will have no fighting. There will also be no joy, no sadness, no laughter.

Through the mask we lose our identity, as an individual and a member of a species. This loss of identity is to shift our reality to a new one – a new world where we are permanently plugged into a simulation programme. You will not get up and do life – life will be in your head as an implanted programme that is running 24/7. As you follow the programme; as you give it attention, you give it your energy, and this energy will be drawn into the System by those who implanted the programme.

What I was allowed to see over seven years ago in my sleep state, and what I have seen almost every night since then (except when I went to the parallel universe/dimension) is what will happen to us on a permanent basis. In our sleep state dreams were implanted to draw our energy, but now – just around the corner – we will permanently be implanted with a story/existence.

Understand that your life and those of your loved ones will be no more. Life as you knew it will be no more. We will go about our business in a nonchalant trance state, while we are plugged into a simulation programme that we follow while our energy is being syphoned from us.


This is what the “vaccination” programme is all about: to build a new construct/frame work within our forms so that our energy is syphoned as we are plugged into their system.

You need to understand the disaster of you no longer being you while you walk and talk and live life. You will no longer be you. Do you understand that? Life will cease to exist as you are plugged into their System.

This is here now: it is in the unseen and beginning to touch the seen. This is the upgrade of us the biological computer.


What I have done over the last few years is set free beings of Love that have been kept in slumber and slavery within the dense frequencies of Hell. May these dudes wake up fast, otherwise we are fucked – and this is something that I refuse to allow to happen – to be the living dead, where our heart and soul, and that of Life, is taken from us.


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The answer is to have boundaries within your existence. In your world your strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness shines. Your world will embrace the fields of Love, but until it does, and as long as you reside within a dense frequency called Hell, the strand of Love that you are shines forth. The expression of this strand is shown and felt from the heart energy field.

In the seen world this expression is called Kindness coupled with unvanquishable strength. In the unseen realms this expression blinds the ways of Disharmony, where Kindness is met with Kindness and nothing else.


You want to brush aside your Inherent Goodness/Godness and play with your pitch-forks, then play with your own so that you may see yourself and know what you have become.

I want to go Home – I miss the peace. Until I get there, my boundaries are up and are only open to receive Love.


So be it.

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My work in the unseen is done. For the last seven years I have brushed aside the seen world whilst living amongst seen and unseen cruel Beasts.

It has never been about Steven, but rather about the big picture, as in why is the world the way it is, and most importantly, what can be done about the madness that was an integral part of our existence. If you ask me what I want, all I want is to be what I am meant to be according to my original birthright from the Source of Infinite Love. I just want to be me, and let’s face it – that is not too much to ask for.


Sometimes when I lie in bed and see the unseen I would say: “If only others could see what I am seeing now,” but by and large the opportunity I was given to see what rules us from the shadows was nothing spectacular. This is so because what I saw was normal – it was a natural occurrence of Hell, as is the air we breathe. The cruel Beasts that ruled over us in the physical and spirit realm have been a part of the furniture in Hell for a long, long time, thus to see something that was an integral part of our existence was nothing spectacular.

There were a few years where the competition was strong as in who would get first prize for destroying Steven, and these attacks from the cosmic assassins and possessions by the Serpents were an unpleasant part of my existence. I saw and felt the assassins blows, as well as the snakes before they attacked me or entered my forms, but this was child’s play compared to the cruelty of my fellow Man. I expected more from my fellow species. I expected respect and consideration.


Now when I check on the unseen I am pushed aside because there is nothing more to assess there. They can stand on their own two feet to look after themselves and us.

To those that give Love, may the cycle now be complete where you can receive the Love you gave out. This give-receive from the heart energy space is a natural phenomenon within the Love that is.

Wow, our time here is so short. Be happy, because in the blink of an eye our time is up here.

Life will take care of itself. The worst vice one can ever have is to tell a lie, because you have to keep on telling lies to cover up the original lie. Before you know it, you don’t know who you are, because you don’t know the difference between a lie and the truth.

Hell was not born from a lie – it was born from an innocent mistake, namely the fall of the Wisdom Goddess Sophia. This entity was never one to be revered, she merely is what she is, which is Love. In the fields of Love there is no hierarchy, there is only Love. The strand of this Creator is within all Life within Hell, including us the manufactured, biological computers. The children Sophia created to play within the Infinite were the Dragon spirits, and within each of us is a strand from this mammoth creation – this Dragon. Around this strand the cosmic geneticists developed Life, including us, but as Hell went against the natural flow of Love, energy was needed as an alternative to this Love that merely is. That is when we began to kill and take to survive. We became indifferent to the strand, but even before this, we never listened to our good hearts. If we only stuck together and listened to reason we would have gotten out of this mess and returned Home. Our uncertainty and despair shattered our foundation, and that is why it became so easy to tell a lie and forget ourselves even further.


What this journal has brought to the unseen dimensions is a foundation from where one can look and consider what happened to us – why are we here, and most importantly, how do we get back Home. With the truth understood, the sand castles of lies will come a tumbling down. This will be most refreshing to all, especially the liars, as how awful it must be to have everything and yet be nothing.

It is through the great work of David Icke that doorways were open to the unseen, and my thanks to him is posting the last few pages of my journal on his forum. You do not have to read my journal to understand what I know and have seen, as the frequency/state of this journal is out there for any who wish to grasp it. The foundation for the truth is there for all to see through the understanding of what happened to us before the beginning of time. The doorways have been opened, and you may enter whenever you wish.


Take care,



(What happens to me from here is my journey. You create your own journey as the cards of Hell start falling down. Allow your strand to shine and it will show you the way.)

8th March, 2021


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If you want something, then someone is holding a carrot at the end of a stick in front of you – they are in a position to play with you. So you don’t go without, you go within, because going without you enter a Game controlled by those you cannot see, and how do you fight or stop something you are not aware of?

To be one with the Infinite and the strand within, one has to merely be, but this goes against the grain of everything we have been conditioned to believe through our quest to survive.

To be is to be one with the God-force within, and to do is an expression of this God-force. So when you and Steven naturally are, you are this natural state within which expresses itself without in terms of who and what you have become.


How does one be  and do; how does one do the complete opposite to all that we have known for as long as we can remember? What is this natural state/cycle that we have forgotten?

As has been said, never want for anything. The strand/God-force within will look after you – there is no need for you to interfere. By not wanting, you automatically stop thinking, and this detaches you from the Game. Now you are plugged into the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness rather than the system of Life.

(Understand that to be plugged into Life and to get what you want when you want is a fool’s paradise. This indulging and having excess is not pleasant within a very short period of time, because one soon discovers that one has nothing, as what you have is fleeting.

If you think money is not important, then speak to the poor and they will tell you a story which goes something like this: “Without money one can do nothing in this reality.” That story is true, and the strand within knows that. But having money without understanding still leaves you within a cruel Game played by unpleasant entities. Money gives you options, which is wonderful, but we have to look further than the needs and wants of the flesh.)


Understand that Life goes on, and so do you, but detach from the flow and make it your own. I will still have to drop my kids off at school and earn a living, but do these tasks with you being in control of your existence rather than the system of Life.

Take a massive leap of faith and stop wanting so that you may be and do. This stops you from thinking, which center’s your existence around the strand within. Now you begin to play Life rather than Life that plays you.


By wanting we feel safe – wanting is a form of control we have over Life. We want it, because by having it we may be in control.

Want nothing, and then take this leap of faith into waters that have not been chartered for a long time. Hold onto this state of wanting nothing and make it your own.

Have fun with this new game of you just being you.


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Your astral/spirit form should be your “partner in crime;” the higher looking after the lower. Can you imagine how much easier and pleasant our existence would be having a guardian angel constantly at our side? Wow – what a pleasure!

Why has the astral and body form never had the capacity to stand together as one and be the force they are meant to be? When the body form dies the astral form departs and goes to different dimensions, and it is fair to say that this astral form travels whilst the body is still alive. So it has the potential to always give us the heads-up to what is over the horizon, but why is this never done?

There is one thing about Love, and that is those you Love and Love you only want the best for each other. There is no second best; there is no compromise – there is peace and contentment and nothing else.

So what happened to break this unity and strength between the astral and the body form? Why is our lives so haphazard and uncertain?


Last night I was awoken from a deep sleep – I was not awake, but was aware of me and my surroundings.

What woke me up was what felt like a worm protruding from my right nostril. It was long and thin and extended from somewhere within my form to show itself through my nose.

This is the Watcher spirit; the one assigned to each soul to make sure we remain in control so that all may run smoothly within Hell. I have never seen one before, but have felt it. If I had to have a sure guess, I would say that they look like an octopus of sorts. These fuckers are powerful – super-powerful; they are not to be underestimated. The Watcher spirit is the one dangling the carrot on the stick in front of us – they rule our roost.


For me, what I want most throughout the day is to talk to others. So in my mind the conversation rolls with what I would say to others were they in my company. Most of the talk is to be joyous, and many is to lash at others to make them understand what cruel Beasts they are. For me, nothing in creation is really meant to be alone, and we the Human species are a bunch of lonely beings. This dilemma is easily solved by rekindling the relationship between the astral and body form, where these best of friends once again unite to enjoy each other’s kinship and the joys they experience.

For the last two days I have not wanted, especially this conversation with others. Remember that the head honcho in the relationship is the astral/spirit form. So when we say “want for nothing in order to go into the silence so that the God-force within may come to the fore,” we are primarily talking to the astral form. We the body form need to play our part so that when our astral friend shows the way we may know and understand.


By removing want from our existence, we remove the control the Watcher spirit had within our existence. Now there is no entity between the astral and body form to separate them and rule their existence. Now we are no longer playing in the game of Hell but rather within the state of Love, and in this state only the best is sourced by the astral for it and the body form to experience. Remember, there is nothing to learn, there is only to be what you are, which is the Source of Love.


Persevere. Remain in the state of wanting nothing so that the stillness and Love may engulf you. Now you want nothing, yet you have everything.


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The world of solidity is our concrete trap within the frequency of Hell. We believe everything has a place, a purpose – the solidity of the world defines our borders.

It would be wise to break this mould of false perception, as here within Hell there is no solidity – there is merely frequencies that are condensed to be viewed as solid.


When we fell into the dense frequency of Hell we still played with this vortex of energy that we found within the illusionary Garden of Semiramis. In your and my limited imagination picture a tornado in its full might, but our tornado; our energy was Beautiful rather than destructive. This frequency/energy flowed to and fro, and it was a spectacle to behold. Nothing was solid in this illusionary world where we came to play. With our imagination we shifted the frequencies of the illusion and it was truly beautiful and spectacular. The frequency of the illusionary Garden was a canvas to play upon, whereas in the fields of Infinite Love what was there merely was. No canvas was needed there, as we were merely in a state of being – no props were needed to make our Home spectacular.


What I am getting at, is that in the beginning stages of the illusionary Garden life could be seen as vortices of energy/frequency. Then things began to go wrong, and we became denser in our state as more was wanted and we wanted to hold onto what we had. The vortex slowed down considerably.


One of the mysteries of living in Hell is wondering why help never really came from the Infinite to bail us out of this mess? We the children became lost, afraid and cruel, so why did those from the Infinite not extend a helping hand?

The answer is that help was extended, and this was the dilemma of the ages: Those from the Infinite wanted to help, which they did.

When you want, you have to engage, but what happens when you do not know with what you are engaging? That is simple: You become sucked into the state that you wanted to help, and now the helper becomes the helpless. I understand the dilemma of the Infinite – we turned our backs on those that wanted to help as we were too busy surviving to remember what we are and where we came from. Those from the Infinite touched our waters and were drawn into the chaos through the innocent act of wanting to help.

Picture two cyclones that unite. Now they are one – yes they are stronger, but strongly imbedded within the illusion.

We needed to turn around and see the Infinite and know what we saw. As we forgot ourselves, we forgot the Infinite, and we never knew what was staring us in the face. Those from the Infinite should never have gone on a mission to want to save us – they merely should have been what they are, and by us seeing them we should have remembered what we are, and in that moment we are transformed and back Home. My guess is that we never even looked – we had our noses to the ground surviving.


The lesson to learn is twofold: Those from the Infinite must never want to help, rather they should merely show us what they are so that we may look in this mirror to know what we are, and secondly, we should begin to look further than our noses to beyond the solid world to the fields of the Infinite. From the solid we see the frequencies of the illusion to the state of Oneness of the Infinite.


By wanting, the black hole of Hell merely became stronger.

Shear your energy/frequency from this vortex of Hell. Do not want this, just be what you are. Now you are separate from the black hole frequency of Hell. Take time out there to reflect, and then look for the Infinite which is everywhere. Remember, always just be. If help is needed, help will come. This time look at what is shown to you, as what you see is what you are.




Know that throughout your existence here is Hell there has been a Cosmic Thief. This is an entity that takes what is rightfully yours.

To help you, I need to first help myself, as by helping myself I am in a stronger position to help others. This was the role of the Cosmic Thief: to level the playing fields by taking from others so that we cannot help each other out the mud. I have known about this Thief for many years, and last night I saw it for the first time.

By exposing a thief their power is no more.


Take back what was taken from you by this Cosmic Thief. Don’t take because you want – take because it is yours, and it was never for others to take from you.

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On 2/19/2021 at 11:18 PM, steven geldenhuys said:

(i started this thread, so it is only my duty that i finish it. may what has been said in the posts above and below be enough to set you free.

all the best,




I appreciate your thread and information. Don't let the negative comments take you off your stride. There's a lot of trolls out there whose sole purpose is to derail informative threads.

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It is just after four in the morning.

I have to figure this out.


The implanted dream was weak and irrelevant. I was with these Hill-Billy’s going to a certain place. We were unsure whether we should turn right of left at the sign. I remember we were told to turn right. Then I was in this car with one of them. Someone was taking pot-shots at us from the highway above us. I told the driver to drive faster to get out of range, but this guy did not do so. Then I found myself in some public pool of sorts talking irrelevant nonsense to others.


At this point I awoke from the implanted dream. I was lying face down in bed with my head turned towards my wife’s direction. I saw this fucker straddling her head and putting his mouth to hers – this was not a romantic kiss, but rather a feeding of the energy around her body that was emitted from her following her own implanted dream.

This entity saw that I saw him and stopped momentarily in shock, but then he just resumed going about his meal.

Then I turned on my back as I lay in bed to get a proper look at what was going on around me, and the first thing I saw was what looked like a crabs leg just to the left of me. Some bug of sorts was behind me straddling me while another one of these entities was feeding from the energy that had accumulated from me following their weak implanted dream.

These entities were a different species to us. They had Human form, as in body, head, arms, etc. but their teeth were sharp and pointed. There was this distinct primitive feel to them, as in raw, undiluted beasts. Over their faces was a pattern that was the trademark of this species.


Now get this: If such savagery controls us and feeds off of us, how low are we on the food chain?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

We are a biological computer-generated programme that has been manufactured to feed beasts from the shadows so that they may survive off the energy we emit, be this energy in our waking state or our sleep state. When we are awake, our stress and our emotions feed the system of Hell and keep it intact. Our main drives are food, receiving money, and of course that five-course meal of energy what we release to those from the shadows through our primitive need to procreate and have pleasure. Sex is a biggie programme in us the biological computer, and there is nothing wrong with this, but through our pleasure Beasts survive and also receive their pleasure from our explosion of energy.


Is this all we are destined to be – emitters of energy so that those from the shadows may feed off of us? We live an illusionary existence in a story we call Life so that primitive monsters can survive from us, and that is not even the worst of it. When we see through the illusion and the nonsense of Life, we cross over and become one of these Beasts from the shadows. As they fed off of you, now you become one of them and feed off of us. This is not my theory – this is what I see. I have seen many Human forms within the shadows that have come to feed off of my energy or try and destroy me.


This is what we were manufactured to be: To be emitters of energy to feed those from the shadows. Do you understand now what you are? You are not an accountant or a bus driver or a teacher – you are a manufactured biological computer that has been made to emit energy to feed raw, primitive, cruel Beasts.

How the fuck do we get out of this mess? How do we undo what we are? NOBODY has ever found an answer to that question because at our core we have never had the courage to stand back and see what we are – what our loved ones are. Trust me what I say that we all can see the unseen, but nobody looks anymore. Why would we want to see how we and those we love are shamed every night in our sleep state? I remember one night waking up and this sheep entity was straddling over me fucking me. With its one paw it turned my head to look in the direction of my wife lying next to me. Another sheep entity was doing the same to her. “Look Steven. Look what we do. Because we can.” How many of us are infused with toxins during our sleep state, where these toxins take on a form that we would call “disease.” Seeing your loved one slowly die while these Beasts feed from our energy called Sorrow is not fun, but to those from the shadows this is just another day at the office.


In writing this journal to find a way out of this mess am I just fooling myself? Can I change what we were manufactured to be? Can I destroy this manufactured mould so that the real us emerges and is set free from this nightmare that is real within the illusion?

Divine intervention will not come boys and girls unless we do our part to break free from this mess. Our shackles need to broken free so that we may be in a position to be helped.


It is through association that we are linked together and united. A baby crying on the other side of the globe has a ripple effect, and this energy touches us as we are all interconnected through our association of coming from the same manufacturers plant. From a manufacturers perspective, we resonate the same energy at our core, and this energy is what links us and binds us together. That is why it is impossible to be happy here in Hell when so many are unhappy, as their unhappiness/despair touches us.

When the Dragon and Serpent children found themselves in the illusionary Garden of Semiramis and things began to go wrong through the parasitic frequency of Deception that was unknown to them within them, these children of Sophia and Semiramis should have huddled together to reflect as to what was happening to them, so that their understanding may set them to return to the fields of the Infinite. These children should have united as one. When things began to get tough they should have put aside their differences and stood as one to find a way out. They should have fought for themselves and those around them through unity, but the parasite within created a want within them from which arose a new sensation, namely greed. The joy of creating was surpassed by the euphoria of holding and keeping what you created. It was yours, and you loved it more than anything. This led to division. Boundaries were set, and in no time whatsoever this silly game of It’s Mine came a crashing down.


At the beginning of what would become the end of Life as we then knew it, we should have held hands and united as one. The remembrance of Home and what we are was still strong within us – we just needed to put our heads together to remind ourselves what we are and from where we arose.

But now, for us the manufactured biological computer, it would be wise to sever our association with our fellow species, as well as our association/link with all those in the many worlds of Hell.


At the beginning of the journal I wrote how the domesticated animals are above us because of their unconditional love. My dogs have never really cared about themselves – Steven has always been their focus, and if they can carry my burdens or give of their energy to help me, this is done out of reflex. A parent has this love for their children, but by and large, we are so consumed by the weight of Life that we only really have energy to look after ourselves. That is why, for me, the Cosmic Thief is the biggest player here in Hell. This awful, awful thing takes from us so that we cannot give to others. By having what is rightfully ours, we are in a position to help others, and I know that in many out there are good hearts. We would have given to the needy to lift them up had we the opportunity to do so. This helping hand amongst each other would  eventually have lifted us out of Hell. But most importantly, our happiness of having what we are, be it financial or health or peace, this happiness would have transformed the frequency/energy of Hell and taken us to a level where we could have undone the manufacturers mould so that the strand within may come to the fore and shine.

I wrote about this unconditional love and how great it was, but in truth this unconditional love from our best friends the animals is the silliest of emotions.

I care about you more than I care about myself, so I will take your pain or disease upon myself to help you carry your burden. Wow! Great stuff – but for who, as eventually both parties sink. Unconditional love is a lose-lose scenario – guaranteed. This is because nobody has found a way out of Hell. If you want to help someone, then break free of Hell to the fields of the Infinite so that if you want to carry them, then carry them Home rather than to just another less dense state within Hell.

Years ago I was aware that we were in a dense frequency bubble. I said to myself that if only I could break free of this bubble I could go and find help to get out of this mess. I found a way; I did break free of this cosmic/world frequency bubble, but all I met were other worlds within Hell. We are all in this “air bubble” called Hell that that needs to be popped so that we may once again be one with the waters/fields of the Infinite.


On the astral/spirit level to stand together as one is suicide, as we the species are too lost and confused to help each other out. Through our association; through our connection of what we are and from where we arose within Hell, standing and uniting as one on the astral level will merely sink us further into the dense frequency of Hell. I can get on a plane and go to Japan to see why that baby is crying and do whatever I can to assist, but my astral form can no longer be tied to my kin, as so many do not know who they are and what they are meant to be. Their beliefs have ingrained within them a false sense of security, where come hell or high water, this is who they are and where they belong.

This world, in the seen and unseen, is falling apart at an alarming rate. I have been to worlds where ours is heading – where there is literally nothing but desolation. All that remains is the parasite that has fed from all. This is the tragic truth for those that play their game of cruelty and enslavement within the worlds of Hell: You stupid fucking dummies – you end up destroying yourself as well. Where did you think your game ends up? – In some divine euphoria where everyone plays pitch fork/pitch fork 24/7? Stupid, stupid, stupid fools! In cutting the throats of others, you do the same to yourself – the wheel turns as you drive down the slopes of Hell to the Nothingness of the Forgotten.


I am not telling anyone what to do. Us dummies need to start thinking for ourselves.

I am telling you what I will be doing, and you can do the same if you wish.

I imagine a string of pearls that is draped around the neck of a mannequin. Each pearl is a frequency/world of Hell. Within each pearl is the species of that world/frequency, as well as all life associated with that species, as in the animals, plants, etc.

Around and within these pearls is a shadow – the unseen to many of those within the pearls. A string unites the pearls, and this string is within the seen and unseen.

I take my hand and pull on that string of pearls, breaking the seen and unseen string. Now the pearls are all over the place, rolling about on their own. Those within the pearl on the seen and unseen feel this wave of separation and are no longer united together. Now each can go their own path. If two, for example, wish to remain united, then so be it, but they are free from those who were attached to the string – within the seen and unseen within their world, as well as the other worlds.


By knowing what you know, which is another way of saying listening to your good heart, go within and reflect. Let all the shit; all the nonsense; all the indoctrinated beliefs; all the cruelty and all the joy – let it wash all away. From there know yourself. Know what you are. You are a manufactured biological computer created to keep a sick and cruel game alive within an illusion, all the while while the players within the game destroy themselves until there is nothing left but a parasite. As the players are destroyed, so too is their creation, which is you.

Understand that this is what you are.

Now understand that within this manufactured form that has a physical and astral state resides the strand of the Creator. There is more than one Creator within the stillness of what is. One of these Creators became to be known as The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. This is not an entity, but a state that cannot truly be defined with words. It is a flux of something that defines Oneness, where you are what you are.

Sophia created the Dragon spirit within a field of the Infinite. Her curiosity got the better of her, and in seeking to seeing what she created, she exceeded the realm of her divinity and fell. The impact of her fall created the Serpent spirit, and Semiramis emerged from these serpents to take charge. She saw the field Sophia created for her Dragons, and Semiramis too wanted such a world. Through the power of Imagination that befell Semiramis through her association with Sophia, Semiramis created her illusionary Garden. She told the children, Dragon and Serpent alike, to come and play in her illusionary Garden. Curiosity got the better of many, and many fell/dipped into the illusion. The state of curiosity was unknown within the fields of Infinite Love, and maybe this is why Sophia fell, but within the fields this is no problem, as from the Source states can be born that are anew. From there, they return to where they arose.

The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia was merely an accident as she played with the state of curiosity. This was no big deal. She could have dusted herself off and returned to from where she fell. Her impact zone of her divinity touching a field of the Infinite that created the state of the Serpent was also no big deal. There was enough space for all to play in.


It was the illusionary Garden of Semiramis that fucked everything up, because within the illusion the state of curiosity could take told and develop into a form. This curiosity within the illusionary Garden came to be what I call the Parasitic frequency of Deception. It is a parasite because it infiltrated the children as well as Semiramis and they were not aware of this. This parasite wanted, and its want became the want of the children. Understand that it was not good or evil – it merely was what it was.

The children within the illusion eventually fell, and what we mean by this is that their forms became denser as they drifted further away from Home and who and what they were.

I would say that the Dragons and Serpents drifted into slumber as the dense frequency became too much for them. These in slumber are the true children of Sophia and those from her fall.

From there, others were created within the illusion by what I would call the cosmic geneticists. One called Haman was at their helm, and Semiramis oversees all. Understand that her state is half control, as the parasite took her over, but the other side of her is trying to sort out this mess that got the better of all of us – her maternal instinct is always there.


I am not turning my back and walking away from those in Hell. I am standing apart so that I can be what I am meant to be. I help myself so that I am in a position to help others should they wish help.

I am not knocking this emotion of unconditional love. Of all the Beasts that tried to destroy me, there is one in Hell that I called The Joker that came the closest. As he was throwing everything he had at my astral form to destroy me, I imagined my dog Fiona by my side. As I was being destroyed, I said to her: “I love you – I am this love. You love me – I am this love.” This got me through.


What I have said, and will do, is not for me, but for everyone. Wading through the mud of the cesspool while we hold our hands has not worked. On the physical plane we need to unite and become kinder and more genuine, but on the astral we need to stand alone, so that when we see a reflection of the strand within, we may become this strand.

The strand from the Creator from which the Dragon spirit arose is within all of us. This strand is within all life.

Stand as one within yourself, and allow this strand to come to the fore. When the Infinite shows itself, this strand that you are will then see and know itself, and then we are Giants.   



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I would define dance as: An expression of one’s inner self through movement.

Since my separation there has been a dance of energy within my forms. There is more clarity within. That is the good news. The bad news is what I see and experience from the shadows has been amplified and clarified – have upgraded to HD (high definition.)


There are those that shun Life – in the seen and unseen. Steven was bitter towards Life, but he never wanted to shun it – he wants to embrace Life and live every moment to its fullest.

What I met last night was one of those who showed Life the finger and went about his existence. I understand this shunning of Life, but I also understand that we cannot do this alone – we need each other. I am a lonely fart, but I am this out of choice. I know what is out there, so I don’t waste my time reaching out to people as I know what I will get. This is one side of the story. The other side is that there are good, sincere people – there are many of them, and one should always make oneself open to cross their path, which I do. No man or woman is an island. The being I met last night in my sleep state was an island to Life, and the absolute disaster with this is that one loses touch with what you are and what you have become, as there is no one to reflect upon to understand what you have become.


In my sleep state, through my Third Eye, I saw this young man. He was Human looking, apart from his green skin color. His face was about an inch from mine as I lay in bed looking at him. I had a premonition that “fun and games” were about to begin, and on queue he opened his mouth. His mouth was webbed – it was that of a snakes mouth, and out of reflex I turned my head away as I did not want to see what was coming next.

I did not see, but I felt the projection of snakes from this young man’s mouth as the snakes filled my forms. For fucks sakes. Snakes, snakes, snakes moving all around within me. They were even on the inside of my face.

At times like these it is important to know yourself. You are the strand of Inherent Goodness within, and everything else is an illusion. You breathe in this Love that is, and this Love engulfs those in your space.

While this mass of snakes were moving within me as I lay in bed, I thought of all those I Love and those who Love me, as well as those who decided to take the separation route as well. The Love that I filled myself with, I filled them with as well. After about twenty minutes this young man’s snakes departed my forms. Before they and him fully left he passed on a message for my eldest daughter, which was to stop being nasty to others, and equally so, don’t allow others to be nasty to you.


The green skin of this young man was from the snakes that were a part of him. Beneath his Human-looking frequency is a Snake frequency. Before I saw this young man, I saw the eye of a snake looking at me, and this was the alter frequency.

Shame, this guy meant no harm. He merely was what he was.


Don’t ever walk that path. Don’t ever accept. Know what you are. Know that Love is real and is bigger than all the mess out there.

We need to stop fighting and accepting, and start being what we, which is the strand of Inherent Goodness within us.


After this encounter I battled to sleep. When I did, I saw the face of this elderly lady. She looked at me as if she was glad to see me. She brought her face closer and closer towards mine, and then I saw on the right hand side of her face was another face. This face was of a female that looked as if she was waxed in silence. Was this elderly lady carrying the memory, and frequency, of someone she loved dearly? I don’t know, but I feel strong that she never let go of someone she lost. The disaster is that the one she held on to was never allowed to be free and follow their own path.


These encounters were not chance encounters. I believe I met them to help them – to make them aware of the strand that they are.

Don’t ever be afraid of what you don’t know, as now you know yourself. Knowing yourself makes one no longer drift aimlessly. Yes, we are not Home, but until we are, let’s live Life to our fullest.


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It is just before one in the morning.


Dale Carnegie talked about turning a lemon into lemonade – turning a catastrophe into a winning formula.


The implanted dream a short while back was of me being in my garden. There were intruders walking around my property – about three of them. I picked up something to defend myself, and also to go and attack them.

Anger got the better of me when I saw they were white boys – my own. I asked them how could they do this to me?

I awoke from the dream and saw the snake. It had the perfect circular shape of an eel. Behind the snake was its handler – this was the local, white boy. This was a Human from South Africa whose astral form had crossed over to become a Beast, and had no doubt, mastered the art of living from the shadows and feeding off of us. But this boy, I would soon discover, was not here to feed from or destroy Steven, but rather to perform a specific task.


The snake hesitated before it entered my form – it did not want to enter, as I saw them and were ready for them by filling myself with Love. White boy shoe-shoed the snake on to enter my forms. Then white boy turned into a snake and shot into my form – I felt him within my left leg.


Yesterday as I had the time while I was waiting for someone, I opened myself up to receive. I went into the silence and asked to receive something on a personal level. The energy within and without my forms circulated and moved as the chess pieces were positioned for me to receive, and then I felt a thorn of sorts over my left jugular vein. This was placed there so that I could not receive what I have been asking for for a long time – about three years of intense pushing to receive this item that was important to me.

By knowing the restriction was there, it was cleared by allowing the natural flow of Love that I am to release it so that I may be in a position to receive.

So when white boy and his snake were within me, their task was to return the restriction, as I felt one of them working intently over my left jugular vein area.


So I done the usual – I breathed in the Love that is me to fill those within my forms with Love. As I realized what they were doing, which was blocking my receive cycle, I once again opened myself to the give-receive cycle so that this natural flow may repel their work and them over my left neck area.

But it is never just about Steven – it is about everyone. So I expanded this Give-Receive cycle to embrace all within Hell so that this natural flow may fill all. From there I gave Love to all, and this was the part where the lemon turns to lemonade.


We are a complex biological computer that I am sure even our manufacturers have forgotten the intricacies of. We were built through trial and error to survive on a shoestring of energy that was bestowed upon us while we carry out our task of feeding the unseen and keeping Hell alive. No doubt modifications have been made over the ages. Ghouls of entities were inserted within our forms to regulate us, and I will most probably spend I don’t know how many years more to uncover what lies beneath our bonnet.


When I gave Love to all, I never realized that I was the all through my separation from my kin. In the past I gave Love to all on many occasions, but this Love passed right through many as they were too focused on how right they are. This Love diffused to the wind, but now, with the separation, this Love stayed with me – and all within me – the all I never knew existed. Every part of me the manufactured biological computer, as well as the ghouls that were a part of my forms, were filled with this Love.  One by one I felt these entities leave my space, and so did white boy and his snake.


Go into the silence – into the stillness of the Love that is, and allow this Love to fill the all that is. This is every part of your existence as well as those within your existence. Your world – you – is now Love, with no interference from ghouls.


Let’s see what comes in the next night.


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It is just before three in the morning.


We are a biological computer. Within us is the strand of Inherent Goodness – the essence of the Creator around which all Life is formed.

We are trapped in a dense frequency that I would call Hell, and we have all been going nowhere slowly, except for our role of feeding cruel Beasts from the shadows of Hell.


Stand back and understand what was just written.

You will see that it does not make sense. How can the strand of the Creator be suppressed by powerless, illusionary, primitive monsters?

I know what I am, and I know what I am not. I am the strand, I am not a manufactured biological computer. I am Love, I am not an illusion.


“So what is the problem Steven!? Why are you still within Hell? Why are you not one with the fields of Infinite Love?”

Now that is a simple question that should warrant a simple answer. It is the strand of the Creator against illusionary Beasts, and yet these raw, primitive Beasts have the upper hand over what many would call God. How is this possible?


The answer is in a sound that I can recall emitting a handful of times. I would be lying in my sleep state, and a sound would come from me  - a guttural sound that pierced the silence around me for about a second. What we don’t understand we push aside, so I pushed aside this sound.

What I am saying is that there is something within us that has been forgotten. My first thought was that we are possessed by an entity, but this is not the case. The marines would be proud of us the biological computer, as there is something within us that we are carrying, and we will not return Home to the fields of the Infinite without it. On the battlefield you carry your dying with you – you do not abandon them. And so too is there something within us the strand of the Creator that we are carrying and won’t leave behind. What this is we will get to, but first understand that to help anything one needs to be made aware that it exists. We need to remember the forgotten before we can all pack our bags and go Home. In remembering the forgotten they remember themselves, and in that moment they are Home.


In the illusionary Garden of Semiramis things were beginning to go pear shaped. We know why – the parasitic frequency of Deception that began to separate and isolate the children as they, and it, the parasite, wanted more.

As a solution, the Dragon and Serpent spirit were encouraged to clone themselves, and the soul was born. From one arose two. Now we had the Dragon spirit with its Dragon soul, and the same applies to the Serpent. Now one could share, with yourself the spirit, with another form of you, your soul.

Obviously this never worked as the cause was never addressed, namely the unknown parasite within. Yes, there were those who knew of this “evil/unknown” within, but none would listen as a form of madness took the children over. They became denser and denser, and soon fell into a slumber – these Giants. Now the spirits were in slumber, but their doubles, the souls, were not. Why is this so? Maybe the souls had perspective; maybe they could see what was happening to the spirits and refused to be influenced by the parasite within to such an extent where the spirits clocked out as they could not understand what was within them and what they had become.


The point to make is that the spirits fell into slumber, and are still in this state, and the souls got on with life.

As the Dragon and Serpent souls continued to fall into a denser and denser state, there was a battle between the two, and the Serpent soul won. This Serpent soul has been the pivot point of this journal. I have seen this Serpent soul rise from a man during an ayahuasca ceremony. I have seen my wife’s one, and almost on a daily basis I feel mine as it moves around the canal within me within which it resides.

We the biological computer have never fought each other – it is the Serpent within that fights with other Serpents. My kin is a biological software programme – that is my brother and sister, but within us are the true children of Life, namely the Serpent souls. Wars and discord are between the different Serpent groups who have forgotten they are all one. We merely carry the ones that go to war.


So guess what makes that guttural sound? Guess what the Serpent soul and us the biological computer are carrying?

I know where the Serpent soul is within our forms, but I have never truly understood where is the vanquished Dragon soul. Who wants to remember what you destroyed while the real, current danger is staring you in the face, namely fighting your own kind that you want to destroy and get the better of? Sound familiar, this take and destroy? Well this is not you the biological computer – it is the Serpent soul within. You are merely the vehicle and food supply.


That is why we are all going nowhere, except in circles. The Serpent soul needs to acknowledge and remember its most foul deed of destroying its brother and sister the Dragon soul. From there, the Serpent needs to reflect – what happened to it and what has it become. Now you forgive yourself. There is no time for self-flagellation. Now you stand up and rise up and you embrace your brother and sister the Dragon soul.

When these two fuckers, the Dragon and Serpent souls are once again united with themselves and the strand within them, then they return to their Dragon and Serpent spirits from which they arose. The souls become one with the spirits, and in doing so, awaken the spirits, and these children of the Creator and Semiramis are Home within the fields. Only then do we the biological computer press the “shut down” button within our forms, and then our strand – that which we are – awakens and returns to the Infinite.


In the moment; in the now, this unity between the Dragon and Serpent soul has happened. There is no time – there is only the now. In the now what happens is through understanding. Understanding transforms.

The Dragon soul is remembered and embraced by the Serpent soul. These souls return to their spirits. The spirits are awakened and return Home.

Now there is no fighting within us, as the fighters are within the fields. Now the strand within us the biological computer can come to the fore.

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For the last ten years or so, when I stand next to a patient and understand where their disharmony is, in that moment their disharmony is healed. I just stand there – I do nothing. It is something bigger than us that heals, and this something is what I call Love. This Love is what takes our breath away when we see a beautiful sunset, or leaves us speechless when we hold our newborn child in our arms. This Love is the Ying of Hell – it balances the Yang; the Chaos.

But there is one that is all powerful that superimposes this Love, and what this is, is the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness within us. This strand is Life itself as it arose from the Creator.


At the beginning of the journal I contacted Pierre Sabak to tell him I could see the unseen.

It was Pierre who kept the arrow going in the direction and giving it the lift when it was needed. I told Pierre about five or six years ago that we were branded, and this he confirmed in the book he was writing at the time.

This is what Pierre Sabak says of branding in his upcoming book Holographic Culture (to be published in the spring of 2016):

Brandishing angels quotation from my upcoming book Holographic Culture.


‘In light of the fact that Michael is deemed to be a ‘Prince of the Host’, the wordplay ‘Mikiel’ (who is like God?) is it would seem a slight of hand and is a covert acknowledgement of the angelic lineage. There are however further possible interpretations. The cognomen ‘Michael’ is perhaps better transliterated as ‘mi-kiy-El’ (loosely a flaming God), a title that infers a strong affiliation between an ‘angel’ and a ‘deity’ otherwise an ‘Elohim’ and their cohorts the ‘seraphim’. The novel idea that ‘Michael’ is actually an ‘Elohim’ is a straight forward argument when carefully scrutinised and is furthermore an aspect found encoded in his name, listed below:

Registered the interrogative pronoun ‘mi’ (who, whom, from, out of) is incorporated with the verb ‘kiya’ (to brand, scar or burn), from the prime root ‘kviya’ (to burn). The conjunct ‘mikya’ (from or whom burns) is affixed with the name ‘El’ the abbreviation of ‘Elohim’ generically (a God). Significantly the incorporation of the title ‘El’ (God) assumes in a literal sense that the ‘angel’ is a ‘God’ or a ‘deity’ and is substantiated in the Aramaic. Relative the epithet ‘Elohim’ (the lofty or shining ones) is a designation honorific of the (Gods) and is a word interchangeable in the original dialect with (an angel). For example ‘El’ (a God) is used typically to signify angelic names, for example Raphael, Samael, Uriel, Gabriel etc…

Careful deliberation therefore suggests that the appellation ‘Mi-kiy-El’ can be interpreted as (whom or from the God that burns) in a figurative sense a ‘manifestation’. The phrase additionally infers consternation as demonstrated in the emphatic translation (who is this God that stigmatises Greek ‘stigma’ to brand with a pointed instrument).

As with the ‘seraphim’ e.g. ‘srefa’ (fire) the connotation is of a ‘flaming angel’ a ‘seraph’ an entity that marks his adversaries. ‘Michael’s epithet in the original nuance is therefore presumed to be a ‘conqueror’ and is considered to be an ‘Elohim’ or ‘God’ in his own right. Consistent with the Semitic tendency towards paronomasia the angel ‘Michael’ brandishes ‘makel’ (a staff, rod or stake). The analogy of the ‘inflamed brand’ draws inference to the angelic ‘kerubim’ Hebrew ‘kherev’ (a sword). An armed soldier, representational of the host the kerubim angel is depicted in biblical symbolism, Genesis Chapter 3 Verse 24 as carrying a ‘flaming sword’, and impresses a fiery weapon that induces burns. (The concept of the lighted brand is also implied in Sura 8 ‘Al-Anfal’ Battle Gains Verse 12, refer to introductory quote) in which the victims of Badr display strange brandishing marks:

‘Your Lord revealed to the angels: “I am with you: give the believers firmness; I shall put terror into the hearts of the disbelievers. Strike above their necks and strike their fingertips.” That was because they opposed God and His Messenger, and if anyone opposes God and his Messenger, God punishes them severely” That is what you get! Taste that!” – and the torment of the Fire awaits the disbelievers… It was not you who killed them but God: God is all seeing and all knowing’.

M.A.S Abdel Haleem, Qur’an, Oxford University Press, Sura 8 ‘Al-Anfal’ Battle Gains) Verse 12

In Sura 8 Mohammed cites Allah’s ultimate superiority, in which God is not above killing and using his army to rout or dispose of his adversaries. The Islamic annalist Al Bukhari archives the presence of the angelic host and their destruction at Badr. Dramatic, the account of Bukhari is gleaned from his witness Ar-Rabi bin Anas, who notes the following points:

‘On the day of Badr people could see those who had been slain by the Angels among the dead by the blows above their necks and on their fingertips which looked as fire had burnt them’.

Badar Azimabadi, The World of Angels, p70

Pierre Sabak, Holographic Culture, Serpentigena Publications 2016.


It goes without saying that this strand within us was “shut down,” otherwise cruel Beasts would not be allowed to come out and play at the expense of the innocent. This branding shut down the strand of God within all Life.


The strand epitomes and is Oneness, where everything just is. We would understand this as balance and harmony. Oneness is when the natural flow of Give and Receive is flowing as it should, what we would equate to breathing – it is there; a natural phenomenon.

The branding shut down this Give-Receive cycle, and this locked us into Hell with nowhere to go but down. By knowing of the branding of the forms years ago, it was removed, but this meant nothing as we never understood the true intent of the branding. I never knew that our Give-Receive cycle was blocked at the right side of the lower neck – thanks to our branding.


By knowing where the disharmony is, it is healed by understanding that there is something bigger than us, namely Love. A wrong is now made right. The branding of our forms and the blocking of our Give-Receive cycle is now healed. Now the strand may be healed and restored to what it is. Now the Dragon has its fire and the Serpent has its power – its God/Creator power.

What we have is balance and unity, and Oneness with the all. May this state manifest on our physical forms sooner than later.

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I have just joined David's Forum and this is the first thread that I have read, and I believe it is the right one to have chosen as my starting point, so thank you Steven for your careful account of your experience and your many insights into how this nether world that you have inhabited for so long, lifelong perhaps, is constructed. Many thanks for opening yourself up to us all as you have done.

I came onto David's forum site wanting to know what the current informed thinking here is around demons and so I put 'demons' into the forum search box, and right away I have come to your very recent writing. It is a relief to hear you are negotiating the deep end so valiantly and learning so well this week how to protect yourself.

I am approaching this forum conversation from the opposite end of the spectrum, Steven, not as someone who has experienced a lifelong confrontation within myself of malicious and deeply disturbing predatory entities, but as one who has been drawn to work in my adult life with those who are struggling with mental illness.  Society's established organisations for dealing with mental illness have it labelled as a mental distortion created by lack of adequate levels of dopamine or such like, and although some brave psychotherapists will endeavour to make sense of the 'delusions' that characterise the 'internal world' of a person open to consider interpretations about their 'illness', this is such a long way from your sane reporting of an insane set of experiences that you are depicting for us here. From the beginning of my training to become a social worker in mid life career, I encountered a few remarkable people who were labelled by the system as having psychotic delusions but who in fact could tell me more about my current life than anyone else close to me could begin to muster. Not only that, but one of them was a seer (or see-er) and could foretell with great accuracy what my future was going to be over several years into the future.

My journey over these last two decades has been one of gradually realising that close to me in my family and relationships were people who, in their various ways, were family survivors of the deeply spiritually disrupted lives of parents or even of their grandparents. I suspect that those I am thinking of in my generation, are friends who have had to endure growing up surrounded by the kind of distress in their parents that you are depicting here as your own everyday sleeping and waking experience of being deeply disturbed by unthinkable events, exhibiting themselves through many demonic entities.


Until about a year ago that is as far as I could have taken this discussion. Then I came across a vet, a fully qualified man who came to speak about his work undertaken with farm animals and sometimes with their owners. He has for about 22 year since his discovery been able to treat animals and humans by removing two demons from them using his training in acupuncture. He knew what he was doing because since earliest childhood he had been able to see demons and knew what they were by the age of four.

He described to his audience how by the simple application of two needles in a particular configuration in the central torso region he regularly removed these demonic entities from the animals and what is more he could see these entities fleeing across the farmyard immediately afterwards. Now comes the most remarkable part, to my mind, of his explanation of this practice. In every case, from that moment onwards when the two demons left it, the animal stopped being in suffering, no matter what level of physical disease was evident within the animal before the treatment.

I've studied nutrition as a route to healing and have learnt great respect for the physical processes involved in becoming ill and in addressing these imbalances to undo the physical damage to the body of the dis-ease processes and how they can be physically remedied. That was a satisfactory revelation enough for me to know that physical and mental illnesses could be constructively undone by re-nourishing a person who was in suffering, but I had come to expect that recovery would be a gradual process over weeks at least, if not months or years, after developing such deep physical imbalances.

That being redeemed from any kind of suffering could be instantaneous and was to do with the removal of two  encroaching demonic entities was very telling for me. That meant that spiritual entities controlled and forwarded physical and psychological sufferings, and no matter what state of physical imbalance had been reached (including terminal stages) the disease's ability to cause distress to the sufferer was released and with that a feeling of health and well-being returned to the patient.

This time last year I undertook a brief weekend of training with this vet along with another 35 people who had mostly studied the teachings of Rudolph Steiner and seemed spiritually open to practicing to develop their understanding and ability to operate as this vet now works. 

The vet gave up using the needling technique about 7 years ago because a Chinese acupuncturist trained in the east pointed out to him that the dragons released in the course of acupuncture would always go off in search of another host to recreate the same suffering within them. So morally he felt unable to practice in this way any longer, as he felt he was both relieving harm and doing harm at the same time.

After much soul searching he found another route to achieve the same healing without fully removing these two demonic entities from the person's energetic field. In this way no other creature was harmed by his healing practice and the results were more inspiring for others wanting to emulate his work without becoming acupuncture practitioners.

In the end his guidance on how to do this healing came from a sculpture carved in wood which Rudolph Steiner guided a wood sculptor to do to exacting standards.

Every Steiner Anthroposophical Centre around the world, it seems, has at least a photographic copy of this life size  sculpture. I have been present when open discussions took place as to what this sculpture meant that was so important to Rudolph Steiner that he spent so many years getting it right.

The sculpture depicts, three dimensionally, Jesus Christ standing in the centre of the sculpture (No, I am not a religious man and this is not about Christian mission) below Jesus in the underworld is the Persian demon, Ahriman, skulking amongst the roots of the trees, then Ahriman also appears at Christ's side, hip high to Christ, looking up at the more familiar Lucifer, the fallen angel of Light, both of them on Christ's right side looking at one another. A menacing bat-like wing of Lucifer is hovering above Christ's left shoulder so that Christ appears surrounded on all sides by demonic forces (about which Steiner spoke revealingly as an essential part of man's development of a heightening consciousness through many epochs as I've more recently learnt.)

The central message of this sculpture is in the way in which Christ is standing with his left arm and hand pushing upwards to keep Lucifer at bay and Christ's right arm and hand are firmly in downward rejection of Ahriman's ascent towards Lucifer.


What does all this mean? The vet realised that it is the Christ qualities that are the only energies that have the power to keep these demonic forces from entwining around the human and entrapping him increasingly in illness and mental torture. During his workshop it was explained to us that up until the time of his baptism, Jesus was in many ways a mortal man of refined human abilities but in the moment of being baptised by John in the River Jordan the Christ energies came into him. What does that indicate? It is the energy of the Spirit of the Sun as the vet ( and presumably originally Steiner) stated it. It took Jesus three years to learn how to master this Christ energy. My own interpretation of this Christ spirit, which I will give here as my only understanding, is that just as the sun radiates warmth and life here onto our earth and gives us the possibility of a generous life experience, so Christ and other great revered teachers before and since, demonstrate the ultimate power of loving compassion, the warming of one person to another's plight, to keep dark and destructive forces at bay.


So this is how the vet now has practised for the last 6+ years. Unlike most of us he has always lived with one foot in the world of dark spirits, and he says that we can all learn to operate safely with a toehold over the threshold, within the spiritual world. With daily practice we can do this powerfully enough within about three years and can then do the kind of healing which he himself practices, without removing entities completely from people and animals, but removing the entities far enough apart from one another within the human (or animal) aura or energy field to no longer be able to cause us suffering.

It is in my early forays into this kind of healing approach to help ailing friends that a quite unexpected understanding of the initial cause of demonic entry into the sacred auric field of each creature on the planet has shown up to be now a routine part of modern life. This needs to be widely understood and remedied if we are to remedy the demonic attempts to fully take over our planet as their exclusive de-sanctified domain.


Steven, I hope this resonates with much of what you have revealed to be your actual experience of recovery from being a victim of energy sucking entities in this very week. None of us are ever going to be a Christ figure, bringing salvation to the whole earth. Christ himself even knew that wasn't his task, but we can, if we operate out of Christ like, loving compassion for one another, bring forward a resonance so much higher than the base vibrations of dark energies that they have to shrink away from such enlightening loving vibrations. We cannot defeat the demons, but as Thomas Jefferson (approximately)said "The price of freedom is not free but is constant vigilance where ever there will be those who would work to limit our freedoms."

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When one produces a biological computer it is vital that it must be self-sufficient, in other words, it has to be able to look after itself. The manufacturers do not have the resources or energy to stand by each model and make sure they are functioning properly. And of course, the model has to be self-limiting – it has to stay within the loop of “this world/existence is all there is, and there is only so much I can do.” This self-limitation was one of the most important components of the biological computers that were produced and manufactured the worlds over within Hell. We were made to be primitive, to take a life in order to survive, or to have your life taken for going against the System.


I remember writing in the journal of a control panel of sorts embedded within the biological computers left forearm, which was the self-limiting device between the software (the body) and the hard-drive (the brain.)

This morning I checked on this dog to see how it was doing. When I go into their energy space it is like two mirrors talking to each other – I feel/see them, and the layers of moving energy that they are, and they see my energy. This is part of the Give-Receive cycle, where we cannot see ourselves, but others can. So when we go into the space of others with Love to assist – by Giving – they go into our space and transform upon us what we cannot see – and we are thankful for this Receiving, so we transform in their, and our image, which is Love.

When I went into this dogs energy field to make sure the poison from the frog it bit was no more, what I felt was this dog clearing the control panel from my left forearm. I felt this panel drift away and become no longer a part of my existence.


So why now? Why was this panel not removed when I knew about it months ago?

Yesterday I understood that we in Hell naturally self-limit ourselves. We hold back; we never embrace Life and live Life to its fullest. Why this is so is because we understand that we do not know and understand everything. Go all-out into a Game you don’t understand and you will make a fool of yourself. We don’t know ourselves, so how can we cross that line and step into the seen and unseen of Life?

Yesterday I understood that I have been holding myself back because I knew that I was not ready to engage with Life – I did not know enough; there was more I still had to learn, and thus the time was not right to participate in Life.

Yesterday I understood that I will never know everything, but I do know enough to be happy, so I will engage in Life. What I don’t know I will learn along the way. One can’t really make a fool of yourself or disappoint yourself when you are being happy, as the joy of Life overrides this constant self-analytical state of “how am I and what am I doing.”


When I let go of the self-imposed barriers around me yesterday, I opened myself up to have the manufactured limiting panel within the left forearm removed.

We are made up of different layers of energy. Go past the skin and you get muscle and blood and bone, but look at yourself from a different frequency perspective, and what you see is different layers/waveforms of energy. The physical is the biological computers active participation in the illusionary Game, but our true form is waveforms of energy. Within this wave/frequency existed the Serpent soul and all the other cohorts that played with us, including the manufacturers self-limiting control panel.


Stop holding yourself back. Cross the line to play; to Give and Receive. Stop limiting yourself. By knowing of the control panel over the left forearm area on the energy level, it will be no more within your existence should you wish this so.

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Last night was high tea at The Ritz, with Steven on every platter. From the moment I closed my eyes to sleep until I woke up this morning, I was pressed with implanted dreams, and I fleetingly saw those who were feeding from my energy. “Fleetingly,” as I did not care to look – I had enough of seeing cruel Beasts.


This journal is from the perspective of Infinite Love – this is the natural state I choose to once again be within. Everything in this journal has come from the perspective of Love – from the greatest form of Love we will experience within our existence, and that is the Love from the animals. I have been married for many years, and I have two children whom I love dearly, but their love can be most cruel – just because they can. The unconditional Love from the animals is not a way out of Hell, but it sure as hell keeps us alive and sane.


Now I am going to see this big picture of Hell from the perspective of cruel Beasts. I am not talking about the fools in the seen and unseen that embrace their insanity and that of Life and see themselves as the next best thing to sliced bread. It is to the system of Hell that I now turn, where I would like to understand what justifies the System to see sorrow, heartache, pain and despair as the norm. What keeps a System intact where they consider it right and just to go against the natural flow of what is until they can go no further and fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten? You are intentionally destroying all life and unintentionally destroying yourself – and then some – and yet you consider this the norm. This is more than a case of insanity, and I would like to find out what it is. Maybe we cannot leave Hell until we understand what Hell is.


I go now into the core construct of Hell.

What I feel is a “man” with a wooden right leg, as in there is no right leg. In healing, the left side of the body represents the physical/seen, and the right side the astral/unseen.

Within the unseen there is no foundation – there is no core construct – hence the absence of the right leg that I feel. We know why this is so, as the natural state of Infinite Love is not there. So what happens to these fuckers in Hell when I exit Hell and play within the fields? The answer is that Sophia’s and Semiramis’ children will carry on falling. It comes back to same story – how can I be happy when they are unhappy? Oh yes, these misfits enjoy this despicable place. They have embraced Hell and made it their own, but I assure you that within all these Beasts is a part of them that they push aside for as long as they can, until they have to face their unanswered question of “when am I going to look at the real me; the Love within, and see what I am?” In seeing their true selves, they see what they have become and done, and when that day arrives, it is best not to look at those who have to be accountable to themselves for what they have done. I am talking about those beasts that intentionally shame and destroy – they are aware of their actions and the consequences of their actions on their victims. We have all fucked up at some stage of our lives, and this is Life that got the better of us, and for this we apologize. But we always tried our best. Our best was often not good enough, but at least we tried. Our intention was never to inflict shame, sorrow, pain and annihilation.


So before I leave Hell, and this departure is through me being what I am – by me reclaiming my birthright of me being the Love that is, I would like to bestow upon Hell a core construct, so that should these Beasts wish to help themselves, they can. If it takes another fifty billion years for me to reach Home, then that’s okay, as eventually I will be there. But for now, let’s see what we can do for the construct of Hell.


How do we give the man with the wooden right leg his leg back so that one day, should he decide to walk Home, he can do so?

Understand why these Beasts are fooling themselves and staying in Hell – they are afraid of seeing the unbearable, which is themselves. They are so long gone from the Love that they are within them that they cannot find a way back.

When we cross over to become a Beast that feeds from the innocent, it is like entering a paradise on steroids. You do what you want when you want – with no consequences. There is freedom from the constrained existence we have always known. After a while the party becomes boring and monotonous, and an angst of guilt and remorse is momentarily felt. But what makes this okay is that many are doing what you have done – and then some – so it’s okay. After a while we can no longer fool ourselves, and this is when we fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten. To counter this sudden demise of the Beasts within Hell, these lost and unpleasant souls were given jobs to do in Hell. The assassins, the possessors, the tormentors, the suppressors – these were the jobs of Hell, but by and large, as long as you keep the wheels of Hell spinning and kept the truth of Love suppressed, you had a role to play in Hell. These roles/jobs merely delayed the inevitable, so who was fooling who within Hell?


Shame, what a friggin’ existence to have!

When the journal began, I was shown one night in my sleep state what Steven could have if he just walked away from this journal. There was a cabinet of delicious pastries – I could eat to my heart’s content the best of the best. In the next cabinet was sports cars. In the next one was airplanes, and in the next cabinet were devices and technology that is unknown to us. Steven and his astral form had a limitless credit card that Hell would cover the bill, but I knew that by walking away from the nightmare that was taking place behind me, where would I go that I could find peace as the worlds of Hell fell apart, with so many of my loved ones within those worlds.

Why do these Beasts not see what I see? How can you live at the expense of others without destroying yourself in the process? I once again stress that we are not talking about insanity – this is something deeper that I need to understand.


What needs to fill the space of the right leg so that Hell may be lifted so all may have understanding and perspective?

The answer is for them to acknowledge that they fucked up, and then make an about turn. Stop fooling yourself. Stop going with the crowd. In seeing the Beast that you have become, you want to make a wrong right, and in that moment, you have forgiven yourself for what you have done and become.

We don’t want martyrs, drama queens, cry-babies that can’t stop crying at how bad they were. We want adults that stand up and refuse to carrying on doing what they have done for a long time. We want adults that say: “I fucked up, but what can I do to now help?” That places these Beasts on the path Home, and that acknowledgement of “I was a Beast and refuse to carry on being one,” that fills the missing leg of Hell and gives these entities a platform to return Home.  


When we passed insanity we entered a space – a void. In this space things were the way that they were. The next level past insanity is acceptance – acceptance of who we are and what we have become. This acceptance arose from nobody being able to find a way out of Hell. We are stuck here, so let’s carry on doing what we have always done, which is destroy. This is the ultimate martyr: you destroy all, and yourself, and this is okay, because this is all I know.


Well, it is not okay. Acknowledge and understand that, and you have in effect walked out of Hell and are on your way Home.

The right leg of Hell is filled. Now these Beasts have a choice: to carry on playing, or to return Home. In peace, we leave them to play, should they wish to play, but we take the innocent with us. Now these Beasts play with their own kin – the destroyers. How soon will it be before they destroy themselves! I do not have the capacity or foresight to know what happens to them from there – for them to be released from a place they chose to be in. There is always the leg for them to return to – the acknowledgement that they are where they are through their own accord, and just maybe, it is not pleasant forgetting what you are, where you drift in limbo.

I, for one, will never judge them. I leave them be, as it is their existence to live and not mine.

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(The strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness could not shine without a platform to stand on. We were going nowhere until we all had the equal opportunity/footing to go Home.


The unseen touches the seen.

We have given those in the unseen the opportunity to go Home through the understanding of what the animals taught us – what happened before the beginning of time; what happened that we got ourselves in this mess.

Now we begin to walk – to Home, or deeper within Hell. The one will not touch the other, as they are two separate paths. The days of living side by side with cruelty are over.)

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