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Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

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When I first began to see those from the shadows it was like watching a Looney-tunes show – it was something surreal. Something within me must have known that what I was watching was a glitch; a flaw within what we would call space and time. What I saw should not be.

After a while the show became a horror story, where those from the shadows understood that Steven was seeing what he is not allowed to see, and the big-guns were brought in to take him down. When they failed it became a free-for-all shoot out at the old corral to see who would take the coveted prize. What kept me alive was immunity to their poison.

Now this Game of being fed from or being attacked is becoming a bit long winded.


The implanted dream last night was of me driving in a car with my dad. My dad was talking nonsense, and the more the conversation went, the more nonsensical it became. The dream culminated in me slapping my dad in his face so that he may “wake up” and stop talking nonsense. Then I awoke from the dream and saw the one who had implanted it. He was cock-sure of himself – the man. He bestowed upon himself great pride that he could harness energy/food from us the slave species of Hell. I heard him say “feed” to his two serpents, and then these snakes began to feed from my energy as this man literally began strutting around in his self-importance.


I lay in bed, and I asked myself the same questions that I practically ask every day: “What more is there that I need to understand; what more can I do?”


I remember writing in the journal about a year ago that we must want nothing. As I lay in bed this morning after once again being preyed upon, I understood what it means to want nothing.

Of all that I have seen and experienced, something within me knew that we are bigger than all this mess. At the end of the day the good guy and girl does win. There is a Walt Disney happy ending at the end of the story, even though this has not been the case for countless within the worlds of Hell. Why I say this, is that Love is natural, and what we are experiencing is unnatural. That is why the System needs energy – our energy, to survive, as we are going upstream rather than with the natural flow of what is.

So what is keeping us from drifting naturally with the flow from the fields of Infinite Love? The only answer that makes sense is our fixation to the illusion. To want nothing means to detach from the illusion. We love to keep our side clean; to be good people, but in terms of our capture within the spiders web, it doesn’t matter if you love or hate, as either way these states keep you fixated to the illusion.

I am not saying that you have to stop loving – what we imply is detach from the illusion so that we may play and dance to our own tune, rather than the tyranny of others.

The theme of what is being said now I read years ago in the David Icke book Infinite Love is the Only Truth Everything Else is Illusion. What I read in that book was the truth, but it never made sense to me – I had to fill in the blank spaces. Those blank spaces came to be the unseen from the shadows that I would soon see in my sleep state.


To want nothing means to want nothing from the illusion, because the illusion is a fly-trap for all of us. As long as you are in your biological computer body you need to dance and play and be joyous, but this needs to be done free from the illusion.


As a young boy I remember reading an article regarding one of the songwriters of the group, I think it was Fleetwood Mac. This songwriter became a hobo, and this was the life he chose. He refused to receive the vast sums of money from the royalties of the songs he wrote. He had nothing, as he wanted nothing.

That man I understood, and still do, for Steven is that man through and through. I have nothing, except for debt right now, and I want nothing. I want nothing from a world that doesn’t care, and this is so because I am not that desperate to survive. Take your gold coins and shove them up your arse – I don’t want them. To take them means I acknowledge and am part of a System that abuses the innocent. The Devil is not my friend – I want nothing to do with the System.

This I understand, and what I also understand is that this attitude is not the answer.


My advice to you is please don’t go through what I went through. There is no need to see the Beasts from the shadows and what they do to us their food source. Don’t go through the public ridicule that David Icke and his family went through. Don’t re-invent the wheel.

There is a strand of Inherent Godness within all of us. Give that strand your attention by becoming that strand, or give the illusion your attention. You cannot give attention to both.

I will carry on loving the animals just as I always have, but what will change is my conscious decision to be free from the system of Life – the illusion. I no longer give my consent to be stuck in an illusion. At the very beginning, it was free will that allowed the Serpent and Dragon children/spirits to enter the illusionary realm that Queen Semiramis created, and so too is it our free will to return to where we belong. Within every aspect of the illusion is a strand of Godness, and this strand is within you and me. This strand arose from the Infinite, and start to make your world within this space/place that is the strand within. In this world I will play and dance and receive, as this is where we belong. This starts today, as in now.


Detach from the illusion by attaching to the strand within. When we do this we no longer remain caught within a spiders web. Now we naturally flow with the Love that is. This I will do. Nobody can be helped when they are being pulled upstream away from the Source of Love. The moth cannot truly exist as long as it is fixated to the glow of the light bulb.

Go within to the strand of Godness that you are. Everything else is illusion.


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What came last night in my sleep state was adamant. They showed me the index finger – I will comply!

From there I felt the snake squeeze up through the base of my left foot. My extended calf area revealed that it was about half way up my leg.

The fun and games these sicko’s play.


It was then that I spoke to them. I told them I was Infinite Love. I told them that I will always be Infinite Love, as this is who and what I am. It doesn’t matter how long they try getting the better of me, their efforts will always be futile, as this is who and what I am. I flung a ball of this Love that I am to those around me. In that moment I knew that a spell had been cast upon me, and I flung a ball of this Love to break the spell.

I remember a few weeks back being in the presence of this female entity during my sleep state. She pinned me down with an implanted dream of fear, just because she can, but primarily she wanted to show off and show how strong she was. It was her that cast the spell as least four lifetimes ago. Around every act of nastiness dwells a strong thread of jealousy. Most probably she saw me all that time back when I was happy and she didn’t want me to be happy.

Let this be a lesson for all: Always wish others only the best. There are fools out there that will get what they have given when they see themselves for what they are, and we leave them be, and to others wish them well. As an example, if you make a million a month, and I say good for you, then my chances of making two million are almost guaranteed, as there is nothing holding me back. If I am resentful of you doing well, my chances of making nothing are almost guaranteed, because what I project goes around the house to come back and hit me in the face – the good and the bad.

The one that cast the spell on me was above the Game, in that the law of “what goes around comes around” was beneath her, but you can’t run from yourself. In the world of illusion you may be king and queen, but when you step into the real world of Love you need to answer some serious questions. To each their own. May they find solace; may they find peace.


What was done to me I wish on nobody, as the spell makes you an observer rather than a participant of life. You exist, you don’t live. If any out there feel the same was done to them, then go into the silence and knock out any nonsense that may be blocking you. If anything is there, it will come to the fore and you will experience it, and then it will be no more.  

For those that are suffering from this biggest hoax the world has seen, send your Love to knock out the lies and deceit. How far did they expect to go at the expense of others? None are so blind as those that refuse to see – to see themselves and what they have become. In a moment, Beasts can transform themselves. Say sorry, to your victims and to yourself, and then get stuck in to make a wrong right.


The other night over the dinner table my youngest daughter told us of her scary dream, where in the dream she was writing a test the following day and hadn’t learnt for it. She said she was filled with fear.

I wonder what the entities looked like that stood by her bedside and fed off her energy obtained from their implanted dream? We the seen are no better – how much blood is spilt every day so that we may eat? The point to make is that pointing fingers at others is not a way out of this mess. Let’s all clean up shop, and have fun as we do so.

Many just need to wake up. What made me fall in love with my wife was her naivety, which for me is another form of innocence. Naivety is cute to a point, and from there it gets outright stupid, as one cannot see the obvious. To believe that we live in a world where others only want the best for us while so many are suffering is absurd. As others suffer, so too will you – unless you wake up and grow up fast.


For those from the shadows to exist takes effort, as they have to suppress what should rise naturally. How long can you keep an inflated balloon beneath the water, especially when the balloon knows it is held down?


The tide will turn.

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What was the original spell?

I would say it was the one the fallen Serpent souls cast on the pure Dragon spirit that chose to fall from the Infinite into the complete opposite of what was.

That we were all under a spell makes sense, especially regarding the seen and unseen Beasts. There is no way one would normally be so complacent to your own wicked ways. The spell, for these monsters, took away empathy and life. As their victim was an object devoid of Life, so too were there horror stories in the flesh and the unseen.

May the spell be broken by knowing it existed. May we all start to awaken.



In the first few years of writing the journal I never knew about the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness within us. When I found out about it, I needed to know where it was located, and where it was found was in the area we would call our nose. My first impression was that it was hidden there so that we would never find it, but once again, I am open to being wrong. What I can tell you, is that for as long as I can remember, I have had a fixation of sorts with noses, in that when I express my love for my animals, I have to always squash their noses so that they may know that I really love them. This is not really a fixation in its true sense, it is just my silly way of expressing my love for them.

What I have felt strong about since the first few months of writing is the importance of breathing with intent, where you breathe in the Love that is. This was one of the ways to expel the monsters within  and without me over the years in my sleep state, but when I encountered some hard-hitters where this breathing in with intent never worked, I stopped doing it.


It is now that I need to understand the strand within all of us – this Dragons fire that is the life-blood of all within the fields of Infinite Love. Why has it not been activated within us? What is the link between the nose where the strand was, and the throat where it is currently located?

My guess is that the strand has forgotten itself and from where it arose. In that ayahuasca ceremony where I was told over and over again “Remember what you are,” this voice, which I understand now, was talking to the strand within rather than to Steven.


We were not manufactured to be in this world/frequency. We were made for another world, but we were sent here to be a life/energy source to entities that were dying and needed essence/life/food on what we would call a 24/7/365 basis.

Our biological computer was made to hack into, or harness, the world we were initially meant to inhabit, thus the strand was around the many glands of the Endocrine system so that our connection to our world would be supreme – in other words, we were built to lock into the paradise we were meant to inhabit. This encounter with this world never happened, and I would say we forgot about the strand within as fear and survival took us over by being in a place where we don’t belong. Did the system of Hell begin falling apart; did this delicate, fragile network of worlds and their inhabitants begin to be rattled and wither? Was energy needed to keep those at the top of the Game – the elite, alive? I would say “yes” on all accounts, hence our flight detour from Malibu and its white beaches to the stinking rot of Calcutta.

This flaw in the imperfect System that became visible for all to see must have happened thousands of years ago in our definition of time.


This Love that is, is all around and within us the biological computer that resides in the illusion. By knowing it is everywhere, you breathe in this Love, so while you breathe in oxygen to your lungs in the illusion, at the same time you “breathe in” this Love that is, where this Love touches the strand within and allows the strand to remember itself. This is what I call “breathing in with intent.”

When we forgot about the strand, it settled within our nose area, and when it was remembered, it settled where it should, namely over the throat area. Now just wake it up by taking in the Love that is with each breath so that this Love may wash over the strand, where it remembers what it is.


No doubt the worlds that were created, as well as their inhabitants, were beautiful in more ways than one. No doubt we were manufactured to play, just as Sophia created the Dragon spirits to play. The initial plan was to do things right, but this fell apart as the parasitic frequency of Deception got the better of all Life. The faeries, the elves and their like – all fell to the Darkness that would take over the hearts of so many. So many have been destroyed or are in hiding or are lost to insanity -  those that lived in places of wonder that soon fell apart.


Throughout the journal it has been hammered time and time again to always make a point of breathing in with intent. This has not been done, but it will be done from now on.

When you are consciously aware of your breathing, what is happening is that you are breathing in the Love that is everywhere to wash over the strand of Godness at your throat level so that it may be awoken.

8:00 PM on 8th July, 2021.


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These fuckers from the shadows are trying to kill me. What came over the last two nights were controllers of the Game, rather than the players.

Saw their shadows and felt their poison as it was passed into the arterial system at my left wrist.

The toxins/poison has built up within my pelvic bone area – I cannot bend down to put my socks on.

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Do you have any Freemasons in your family?


Assuming your name is who you say you are then your are from an Illuminati family.


You should start a blog. I suspect you have a great story to tell but it is hard to present it effectively in a series of forum posts.



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On 7/5/2021 at 12:45 PM, steven geldenhuys said:



As a young boy I remember reading an article regarding one of the songwriters of the group, I think it was Fleetwood Mac. This songwriter became a hobo, and this was the life he chose. He refused to receive the vast sums of money from the royalties of the songs he wrote. He had nothing, as he wanted nothing.

That man I understood, and still do, for Steven is that man through and through. I have nothing, except for debt right now, and I want nothing. I want nothing from a world that doesn’t care, and this is so because I am not that desperate to survive. Take your gold coins and shove them up your arse – I don’t want them. To take them means I acknowledge and am part of a System that abuses the innocent. The Devil is not my friend – I want nothing to do with the System.

This I understand, and what I also understand is that this attitude is not the answer.




You are referring to Peter Green. Another case in point would be Syd Barret from Pink Floyd. But cataleptic schizophrenia is not the answer. We are here and we have to make the best of it.......not slowly rot away in a living death.


You can still enjoy life, even more in fact, after passing through this crisis phase.





This is us!

I've been really down recently and have started letting things get to me to the extent that I feel like giving up. Not that you can really give up. We've all got to get through this. But lately the unending death and carnage in the Middle East, the dead children, the tide of refugees trudging through Europe, the endless school shootings, the fear the uncertainty for the future.

It has all been seeping into me like a poison and darkening my soul to the extent that the light of positivity and human love inside me, has been going out in my mind, leaving just sad negative thoughts, self criticism, criticism of others, fears, all bounce around my mind like unwelcome parasites. It has been making me feel utterly helpless.

This is THEM!

Then a couple of hours ago I just got up and said to myself 'I've got to do something about this' I got down and I prayed and I meditated. I prayed first to be able clear my mind of the darkness and negativity that had settled in it and which I had fed with negative thoughts, and as my mind settled I realised I needed to meditate and find the clear space within myself.

So I sat down and tried to find in myself some instruction and some explanation for all the pain inside me, I totally calmed my mind and stopped all thought, but occasionally a negative thought or fear would flash up in my mind and I actually felt it as a surge of electricity. So I redoubled my focus on totally quietening all my thoughts and got the sense that I was no longer a consciousness operating from a physical brain, but that my consciousness had become a field which was focused on wherever my will took it.

I found that if I focused my will just above my head, I could reconnect with a dim light which just shone through. This I know of as God. God is the Light and all consciousness is part of an electro-magnetic field with the upper frequency reaches being the invisible energy source which powers the universe.

I asked a question in the light, it wasn't a question from my brain, it was from my true self, the consciousness field which can be accessed through Zen meditation; when all of the electrical activity has ceased and you achieve clarity. The question was about myself and what I consider my weaknesses and perceived failures. I then saw some key moments from my life and I realised why they had happened, they happened because events which had started before I was even born were in play that created a particular problem or weakness in myself. I saw my childhood and my parents and saw that my negative and confused behaviour in some instances was a direct result of some negative and inescapable parental influence and moulding. I saw that my life wasn't a series of mistakes, just a series of choices which I was always bound to make, since we are more or less, tied and constrained to a certain mental pattern and inherited behaviours.

I asked 'What can I do?'. And the answer was 'Just survive'.

Now, although 'Just survive' doesn't sound like much of an encouragement, it did encourage me and it made me realise that we are all constantly trying to do just that, but we forget it. We forget that at a primal level, we don't need possessions and job security, we are living beings in a semi-hostile environment and we just have to survive while behind these enemy lines. And that is what we must realise, forget about the fears, the horror and the misery, SURVIVE IT! Stay Happy.

This is a subtle war on the human spirit and while real wars are being fought in the Middle East psychological wars are being fought on all of us here at home.

They come from a million different directions too. It isn't just the media and politicians trying to darken our lights and make us weak and helpless and unable to defend ourselves against the many threats from society which is constantly trying to trip us up or exploit us. We no longer live in a peaceful civilised world, we live in an artificial jungle of created threats and predators introduced into our cages.

Don't know who this is. 
Life has changed so fast and in such a surprising way. When I was young the world felt relatively sane and perhaps it was. Nowadays everything has reached such a frenzy of discord and negativity. From Feminism being rammed down everyone's throats like never before, to the music, entertainment and celebrities which have all reached some kind of ritualised peak of obscenity. 

It is clear we are all under attack, and it's no use banging your head against all the pain fear and horror in the world, you will never win, it will devour your soul in the end. So we have to transcend it. We have to stay happy.

No matter what happens, the worse the avalanche of shit gets, the more confusion and lies which reign, the more you will have to make a conscious willful effort to be happy and hang onto it. You have to realise, its purpose is to BRING YOU DOWN. To crush your spirit! This is probably the real reason why there is all this horror in the world, the human agents call it politics and feel they have to play these war-games, but the demonic beings know the true purpose.

They have to degrade and exploit the people of planet Earth to the point that they can make people fall into despair. Once in despair you become like them, full of misery confusion, sadness and loneliness and your vision of inner happiness and the light of peace and understanding will go out leaving you a prey to the predators.

Zen meditation. Clear your mind, even in the darkest of times you can still find the inner light. Inside your mind you can make a clearing for your true self, reconnect to the light, find it with your mind and you will be armed for whatever this dirty old world can throw at you.



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I was sleeping last night, and then smoothly and effortlessly, the implanted dream was integrated into me the biological computer. In the dream my wife was running down the passage crying – she was filled with emotion. I ran ahead of her and opened the front door so that she may get quicker to her destination. Then I saw her crouch on our carpet and open one of our cupboards. Therein lay our Siamese cat Kayla. Her body was decayed as it was flattened out.

I awoke from the dream and saw this black goat with its head right next to mine – it was watching how the energy had accumulated around me as I gave energy/attention to the implanted dream. I felt my head rise up and swell, and then I saw someone next to my bed who leant over me to suck up the food/energy. In total there were about three of them – a family. When the one ate of my energy, they moved away for the next one to eat. They were heavy-set people, wearing their traditional clothes and hat. My strong guess is that they were nomadic Asians, most probably Mongols that lived amongst the seen a long time ago.

When they left I lay in bed and I was furious. I refused to carry on being a slave-species. I refused to carry on living in a survival existence.


What happens to me at night time, where my energy is harnessed and fed from, happens to you and every person on the planet. I say this because I alone cannot feed those from a dimension close to ours. Our existence; our lives, are lived so that we have interactions and experiences. These moments are stored as data within us, and those from the shadows come to us when we sleep, access this data, and weave a story or dream to which attention/energy is given, and then they feed from this energy.


That is why we exist. That is why we are here.


I have always said that we are at the very bottom of the food chain, and how right I am.

So what is the way out – to breathe with intent the Love that is so that the strand within may wake up and we may be this strand, this God presence? Then why has it not been done? Am I too impatient? Am I looking too deep and not seeing the obvious?

I would say that our acceptance to our limited and controlled existence has been a major factor to our continual enslavement. We never questioned Life, our life – we just went about our business doing our best. And let’s be fair: How do you stop your enslavement by unseen cruel Beasts when you are not aware of the Game you are played in and your role as a feeder?

How you control others is by not allowing them to know they are been controlled.

Life is in your hands – it is what you make of it! Nonsense. Our lives have never been ours to own.


Well I have had enough.


For most of my life I used to eat the animals that were killed for our consumption. It was “Gods’ gift to us so that we may survive.” Then when I drove by the animals being transported in the trucks to the abattoir, and I looked in the eyes of those animals who were to be killed for me, I knew that something was horribly wrong. Why did they have to die; why did they have to stand in line knowing they are about to be killed so that I could eat? Who made my life more important than theirs?

What I am getting at, is our existence and those of the animals we kill is exactly the same. We are both fed upon. So how do we get out of this mess? How do those animals break free of the trucks they are transported in and from those that herd them into the killing parlor? How do they do it? The answer is they cannot.

How do we do it? Can we do it? In asking this question I am being realistic.


Whenever the presence of a Beast in within me or around me in my sleep state, what has always pulled me through is a knowing that we are bigger than all this mess. We are Love, and this is nothing special as it is a natural state. This has always been my life-line to keep my head above the water.

This Love is bigger than the System called Hell where to eat and to have pleasures is what Life is all about. That few have peace and contentment is irrelevant.


So what can be done to stop those in Hell from being a slave-species? I would say it is two-fold: To know of the Game, and how we are slotted into the Game, and secondly, to ask for the Love that is to embrace us so that we are one with this Infinite. The strand of Godness that is within you that is you needs to be Home for it to be, and this Infinite is everywhere within the illusion. Know of the strand that is you, and know of the Love that is everywhere, and let these two unite.

What I am trying to say is that we cannot do it alone – we need help. Open yourself up to this help by understanding that this Love is everywhere.


We are a slave-species to feed Beasts in the unseen.

We exist within an illusion.

Know what you are – a slave-species in an illusion. But this is not what you are meant to be; this is not your natural state. At your core you are the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness. It was placed at our throat area to connect to the world we were meant to inhabit and play in. When this strand that is you is connected to the Infinite it settles over the heart area, where it and the Infinite and the body forms are One. For fucks sakes, may this happen sooner than later.


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Okay. I am going to play with what I know. (What we do, we do with Love to be Love. If what we do is for any other reason but to be what we naturally are, which is Love, what we do will not work. So be it.)


I have been to this world/frequency that we should have inhabited. I have met the Gaia of this world that is this world. There is no way we will be let loose in this paradise, as we will bugger it up.

I have no doubt that what we the biological computer is now, is not what we initially were manufactured to be. I say this as one night in my sleep state I was shown how the lock and key components of our species body forms were made through trial and error until they fitted properly. (How our sex organs were made for compatibility.) I truly believe there was no need to physically procreate, and that the high of the orgasm which became an addiction/drug to so many was not there in our initial manufactured component. Life was about being, of being one with what the illusion had to offer.


Our strand was positioned to be the jewel that connected to the essence of the planet we were manufactured to inhabit. I have seen the big picture, as in where we belong, which is the fields of the Infinite, but have failed to take the baby steps to get there. To awaken the strand with the Infinite is like jumping from kindergarden to a class in final year astrophysics in one morning – I am thinking too big and not taking the baby-steps to get there.

You acknowledge that the frequency of the world we should have inhabited is out there. Go into the stillness of the silence and make this frequency your own. Then allow yourself to be condensed to what you were initially manufactured to be, and through the combination of this frequency of the world we should have inhabited together with our true form, the strand should naturally come alive/awake.

2:20 PM on 10th July, 2021.


Allow to receive what you can handle. Remember, this is about feeling the waters and taking baby-steps.

What will happen is that your Third Eye will be targeted and awakened. The Third Eye needs to see the frequency of the world we should have inhabited so that it may become compatible to this frequency, as this frequency will ultimately allow the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness within to bloom like the lotus flower.



What was written yesterday makes sense – first be what you were meant to be, and from there reach for the stars.

Nothing came to feed on my energy last night. I have serious energy within me now, and this is just the start.


Whenever you can, take time off and go into the stillness of the frequency of the world we were meant to inhabit. (Call upon this frequency by knowing it is there, and in the moment it will be within and around you.) When you are within this space, allow your manufactured component to break down to what it was originally meant to be. (Just let go.)

What we are working towards is to shine in our full might as we would have when we entered the space of the world/frequency we were meant to inhabit. Be what you were meant to be, in its full glory, and from this stepping stone go to the Infinite.



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I am not knocking my parents in saying what I am about to, as I am big enough to understand that if you want to change the world, it starts with you. I am using my parents as an example, rather than a form of finger-pointing or criticism.


Through the absence of communication between me and my family, I don’t know if my mom is dead or still alive. Her marriage to my father spanned over sixty years. There was one golden rule in my mom’s marriage, and that was: “If ever a confrontation began between her and her husband, she made sure that she keep quiet.” In other words, she made sure that she shut the fuck up so that the difference in opinion may not escalate.

In my last telephonic conversation with my father I understood what she meant, as some people don’t like to see life from any other perspective other than their own. To see their point of view from anothers perspective places them in the firing line of being wrong.

This end result of keeping quiet, as well as not being open to being wrong, allowed my parents to not grow one iota as people throughout their marriage. What they were when they first met is what they took with them to the grave.


If there is one thing I have learnt, is try and be a better person each day. Know what you are, with all your faults, so that these may be cast aside so that you may begin to live a full life. This Steven was one intense mother fucker – taking himself and life far too seriously. You cannot live as you should with the faults that you carry like a yolk around your neck. If you are blessed with friends to point out your faults, or you are big enough to see yourself in the mirror for what you are, and want to change what you see, then your chances of leading a full, happy life are almost guaranteed. But if you accept, and refuse to see or hear, wow, what a wasted life.


Those from the shadows that see the Game that has been created within the illusion, where it is take to survive, are no doubt driving in Shit Street lane. They are in trouble, as what they are taking and feeding from is not enough. Their existence is falling apart in more ways than one. Their upgrade of us the biological computer is to stream-line our energy more effectively, and this is done by us being plugged into their energy grid. We, with our nanotechnology, will be plugged into their Smart cities, and the Smart cities will be plugged into their energy grid. This will ensure a smooth harvest of our energy.

It will work, but it will be short-lived, as there is only so far you can go from what you naturally are before you forget what you naturally are, and then you join those in the Nothingness of the Forgotten, where you forget this Love that you are.


What do you think would happen when these Game controllers within the shadows look in the mirror and say to themselves: “I have fucked up!” What will happen to this place we call home that for so many out there is a living hell? The answer is that Life as we knew it will transform and never be the same again.

What will it take for cruel monsters and Beasts to see themselves? What it will take is for them to see Love, so that they may remember what they are. You be this Love, first and foremost for you, and if others want to transform, they follow your lead and become you – this Love that you are.


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What separates the men/woman from the boys/girls? – Their toys.

That must be the most disgusting statement ever for me, because it implies that the bigger you have, the better you are. How sad it is that we envy those with limitless wealth – we see what they have, not what they are. We believe that money will buy us happiness, and to a certain extent it most certainly does, but at the end of the day it comes back to you. Where to from there when you are king/queen on your throne? Is it enough to give your billions to charity? For me, the greatest form of giving is of yourself, where you uplift/inspire others through what you have become. When you touch people through what you said or done, that stays with them longer than the money you put in their bank account.


Where I am leading, is how do we define “play” within the dense frequency of the illusion? The answer to that question can be found in another question: “What do you want?”

Of course I want a new house, and I desperately need another car, but overriding all of the material wants, what I want the most is to be me – the person I am meant to be. When I am me, then I have everything, as I am in control of my world and everything therein. By “control,” I imply that I have the capacity to do what I want when I want – not because I can, but because I am playing in my Game. This, for me, is what play is about as long as we remain within the frequencies of Hell. We decide our fate, not the System.

Playing is not about doing or giving, it is about being. Now you don’t have to say or do anything to inspire others, you merely are what you are.

Please don’t take what I say and apply it to what you know, because we are so much more than what we could ever imagine.


Every morning I ask myself what more can I do, but there comes a time when we need to start being, and how this is done is to be better than what we are. No doubt many upgrades were made to us the biological computer throughout our existence, but these upgrades sank us deeper into the illusion so that there may be Order out of Chaos, where Life was insane, but not mad enough to push us over the edge; where fear was a part of our existence, but not enough where it stunted our capacity to exist; where the lows of Life could always be overcome by highs – albeit temporarily. We lived for those tokens of pleasure, and rightly so, as it is fun having fun, but for me, what happens when you step out of the amusement park? The answer is that it is back to basics, which is survive. And even there, what is wrong with survival? What is wrong, is that if we look a bit to the left or right of the life we lead, we will witness sorrow and cruelty for many, and this for me is unacceptable. Many choose unhappiness and like it, but many don’t, and it is for these that I will find a way out of this illusion we came to call home.


What I do whenever I can is call upon the frequency of the world we were meant to inhabit, as what we were manufactured to be to slot into this frequency is very different from what we are now. By being in the stillness, and allowing this frequency to undo what was done to you, you step closer to the phase where you play a game rather than the Game plays you.

Please, please, please, don’t limit yourself by holding on to what you know or want or have. Just let go, and go beyond the barriers those from the shadows have set for us.


Become master of yourself, and then master of the illusion. That, for me, is play.


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I have never had a near-death experience, where I die and then come back to life. I have left my body, and then seen my body from my astral/spirit perspective, and from there I went back to my body, but as far as walking the different dimensions, this I have not done that I can recall doing so. I have been to different worlds, and I have seen entities from different dimensions, but I have not visited the place where those from our world go to when they die. My experience in such matters is seeing those from the shadows in my sleep state, and from this perspective I am confident to write down what I have come to understand as to what happens to our astral/spirit form when the biological computer body form dies.


Last night in my sleep state I saw my mother’s astral/spirit form as it walked into her new home – the less dense spirit world. My mother has always been a proud person, but her insecure state never allowed her pride to shine through. It was how she dressed and carried herself that one saw her pride. She dressed herself tastefully, and carried herself around with an air of valor, and through this you saw that if Life did not have dignity for her, she had dignity for herself.

In my sleep state last night I saw her walking in her slow, meaningful stride towards those in the spirit world that were ecstatic to see her.


I would like to think that this, the first option of three, is the route most take, where we the astral form depart the dense frequency of the physical world and go to a less dense plane – one that is compatible to the frequency of our astral form. There we meet those that are compatible to us; we meet those who have departed before us and are waiting for us to join them in this less dense, joyous world. I have no doubt that this place is a place of splendor and beauty, as our job/task/experience in the dense world/plane is over, and now it is time to rest and be content.

What must elevate those in this dimension is to witness perspective – where they are now, and where they have been. Being cognitive of this gap between the dimensions, one must see the big picture, which is: With all the strife and knocks Life has to offer, everything is okay, because beyond these knocks there is love and joy, which is where you are now.

And this is true, where the astral form is, is a place of joy. I have no doubt that I have been to such a place when my body form dies, and from there when my astral form gets restless, I choose a world to go to where I may once again learn or finish unfinished business. That is why when we meet people or animals and they are so familiar, it is because we have met them before elsewhere in previous lives and worlds and dimensions.


This joyous, less dense dimension where the astral/spirit form now calls home is not Home in its true sense – we are still within the illusion, and those from the know; from the shadows, look down at those there with their wonder and splendor, and these cruel Beasts laugh at them.

In the fields of Infinite Love there is nothing to learn or do, there merely is. What we call Heaven is just a less dense plane within the illusion, and that is why I call the illusion “Hell,” as it is a most cruel place where the most cruel and sick game is played out, where we feel we are going forwards, as in learning, but all we are doing is being played with.

In the fields of Love there is nothing to learn, and there is no heartache, sorrow and suffering. Why do those from the less dense dimension acknowledge this fact, which is where there is Love there cannot be heartache? For me, that answer is simple: Deep down, we do not have an answer as to why Life is so full of paradoxes; why there is a constant flux; why the innocent suffer unspeakable cruelty, so what we do is make the most of what we have, which is this less dense plane of splendor that so many call Heaven. There has never been an explainable answer as to why, amongst all this Love, there is cruelty, and for pete’s sake, may this journal answer that question that few have had the courage to ask and demand an answer. It was the parasitic frequency of Deception within the Garden of Semiramis that stuffed everything up. That parasite is within all, even those in the less dense planes of the illusion. When I shift from the frequency of the world we should have inhabited to this frequency/world, I feel the strong presence of the parasite at the left side of my chin, as the denser we are, the stronger the parasite is within us.


The second option when we the body biological computer die, is that we become lost within the frequencies of Hell. A strong pre-requisite for this lost state is for us to be lost within the “physical” world where we lived in the biological computer body. By “lost,” we imply that one never had roots and a place to call home.

For many years now, I have known what happens to these lost astral/spirit forms.

What I am told happens in America, and I am sure in other parts of the world as well, is that children from unhappy families get on a bus and run away from home. At the main bus depots these Human filth wait for these children, where the child is befriended and given shelter and food to eat. This “friendship” is to get the child working for this vermin, and so begins a life of hell for this innocent, lost, broken soul.

In the worlds of the unseen, the same happens. When those “lost” within the worlds of Hell depart their physical plane, there are those waiting for them, that befriend them. Behind this “friends” appearance lies a ruthless, cruel Serpent, and before the astral/spirit knows what is happening, they are a victim to these unscrupulous entities.

Many in the physical world, who die at the hands of those from the shadows, I am sure the trap is often set to continue the torment on the other side. What I am getting at, is that we so often need help, in the seen and unseen, and so often this help is a lacking, and the reason for this is that the show is played out in an unnatural setting and is run by those that are not kind. We live in an existence where the school bully runs the playground; we live in a business world where it is everyone for themselves and only the toughest survive; a world where those who God loves die young and before their time, leaving a wake of sorrow for those that are left behind that never really abates.

When I asked the question why is Life so cruel I was shown the basics, which is that we are fed from by others in a dimension close to ours, so it is not so much that Life is cruel, it is those we cannot see that limit us to their coops/cages. What I am speaking about now is the basics, where to so many out there Life is tough, and this toughness does not make us better people, it just makes us more confused. Yes, there is joy and happiness and laughter – this is the ying part of the yang, but there should not be a yang – there should not be sorrow.


The third option when we depart the physical world, is that we go to where the party rocks and the fun never ends – we join those Beasts from the shadows and become one of them. When your astral crosses that line, you may keep the vibrational look/appearance you had, but this is just a veil or cloak, as now your astral/spirits make-up; its core vibrational frequency is that of a snake. My guess is that these stupid fuckers are not told this when they agree/choose to start playing dirty, but when they do find out, they are so entrenched in cruelty it is irrelevant to them. Now there is a brotherhood of the snake, and this filth is what makes up the cruelty of Life for all in the illusionary bubble.

You don’t just die and then decide to go and play it rough in the other frequencies of Hell – this process begins when you are still in your physical biological computer. The starting point when we enter the ways of the cruel is when we lose one primordial state, and that for me is integrity, or put another way – we no longer care. When this happens we start to play in a dangerous game where there are no winners, only losers. “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” That is my advice to all out there, because if you choose to be nasty and prey on the innocent, you enter a pit that is horrendous. The end game is the Nothingness of the Forgotten, and as I have said before, I have been to this place and seen those who dwell there. All those that are knowingly cruel and choose to be cruel end up in this forgotten place. Wow. Help will come to those that are there, but how do you help those who forget themselves? What happens to these when they remember themselves and what they have knowingly done? How do they forgive themselves? And it all started because you had a bad day or life and needed to let it out on someone, and that high of destroying the innocent and taking blame away from yourself was the easy way out to a tough world that touches all.

I would say that those in option one, where we go to a less dense plane and keep our side clean by being good, so many of these are crushed by the cruelty and injustice of Life, and in the moment, they can switch over and cross into the frequency of the Serpent. To these my heart bleeds, because Life got the better of them while they were merely doing their best to survive.


Ultimately, the way we are going, most will be destroyed. I say this, because this is what happened at the very beginning in the Garden of Semiramis when the parasitic frequency of Deception took the Dragon and Serpent spirits over without them knowing about it. The bad ganged together, as this is what the bad do, as it justifies the individual to be cruel as those around them are also cruel, so it must be okay to be cruel. Those that hung onto their integrity become outnumbered, such with the case of my friend Earl – they become overpowered and silenced.

Those that are imposing this biggest hoax in the history of Mankind on planet Earth – this Covid nonsense – they are looking to the past as a track record for the present and future. They know the coward – the cruel – is many, and they know we will turn on each other at the drop of a hat, so they imposed this hoax with full confidence that it will work. The question you have to ask yourself is: “Is their confidence that they will win and destroy us valid?” I would say yes, and I say this because we do not know who we are and where we belong. We hold onto the truth, but we have no foundation to stand on, and thus we eventually crumble and fall.

This journal is to wake us up – all of us in all the dimensions and frequencies. May the vibrational frequency of this journal reach my mom and all within the illusion.


What I really want to say, is don’t wait to die until you see perspective on where you were and what you are. My goodness me, we know we are all Love, but we have to start being this Love. While you are still alive and within the biological computer body form transform to be the “butterfly” of Love that you are.

Refuse to lead the life; the existence that you always lead. Expect to be washed and blown away by the unexpected, where your life becomes filled with wonder and intrigue. This is the norm – expect it and demand it. When this happens, and it will, the days of the bully will be no more, as now you are playing in your playground where Love rules and not the coward.



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That’s the problem with running a race, where around every bend you think the finish line is in sight, only to find another route in the race. What happens when you do cross the line, your reaction is one of indifference as the completion of the race is surreal.

Last night in my sleep state I saw a faerie that was about half the size of me. I was too tired to focus on details or make communication.

Does this mark the end of the journal, as beings of Love have penetrated the illusion and are making contact? I am not popping the champagne yet for all of us.


We might not need help from the Infinite, but it sure would be nice to feel them by our side knowing they are walking with us. If anything, that void of loneliness will be filled.

Here in South Africa I hear of the fear, as well as the thrill of living in fear over this so-called virus nonsense. I can’t help but become sarcastic at the stupidity of those we know, and this creates an atmosphere in my home, which I should not allow myself to do. Others are just doing their best, but the valid question is at what stage do people start thinking for themselves? The vaccine is the game changer, but that is not the big picture. What these Beasts want is our consent. In the seen you consent to roll up your sleeve and take in a body-changing cocktail, and that is bad, but what happens in the unseen is the disaster. Now you are theirs, as you gave them consent to enter your space and take you over. Now the astral/spirit is fucked, as now they have willingly crossed the line to enter the brotherhood of the Serpent, and this brotherhood is not kind.


May the Divine touch all of us. Deep down I have always know that we need help, but the reality was that help has never come as those that could help were destroyed by the dense frequency of the illusion. Has this all changed? Do those that Love and are Love understand enough to have been set free? I am being cautious in letting my feelings run free. May the tide have turned. That would be something.

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What I saw last night in my sleep state were python-looking snakes lounging around me and my wife. They were just lying around and on top of us, relishing in the moment of being. A simple dream was implanted, where some guy was antagonizing me. I felt myself walk towards him to give him a hiding, and then I suddenly stopped myself in my tracks and became the frequency of the planet we were meant to inhabit. This was a first for me – where I pulled myself out of the implanted dream, where I refused to give it attention/energy.


What does what I saw last night in my sleep state tell me? It tells me that the brotherhood/sisterhood of the Serpent is what it is – this is who and what they are, and as Jeff said of himself: “they are comfortable in their own skin.” The reason for their complacency and “peace” is obvious: they have always done what they have always done, and it has worked, so surely this must be the way that things are and always will be. This lunacy and cruelty and unfairness is the norm, so why change when things are what they are?

If you go the club this weekend for a Sunday lunch and you are served fillet mignon – on the rare side with a brandy and cream pepper sauce – you will be asking me the question, which is what is wrong that others have to be killed so that we may enjoy our fine-dining experience?”

“Well Steven, what are you telling us! That we should all just stop eating and die, as studies have shown that plants have as much feeling as us and the animals?”

What I am saying, and I am saying is to those from the shadows who are at peace with the chaos of Life, is that if there is not a win-win situation for all in any given circumstance, sooner or later the floor will fall in from underneath us and we will see our arse. We live in an imperfect world, but do your best; keep your side clean, and if you cannot do anymore then walk away knowing that you have done your best. You cannot do any more than what you have done, and that is okay.


What I saw last night in my sleep state lounging over me and my wife one must call the ultimate psychopath, where you can look your victim in the eye as they are filled with fear before they are killed at your hands, and you are indifferent to them. That is a monster! A cruel, cruel Beast. It is these that run the show here in Hell. They are devoid of love, understanding and feeling, and they have no intention of being anything else but what they are.

To these we look to the Giants within the Infinite to sort out. You want to crack the frequency of Hell to wipe away the illusion, then you have to rattle this brotherhood/sisterhood of the Serpent, and that is something that you and I cannot do. When they see the Love of the Infinite, they will see how far they have fallen, and then they will understand that what they considered to be normal is beyond insanity and then some.

It is to these that I send those that I have helped within the shadows of the illusion – those that are Gods within the Infinite but fell to be with us and help us in the illusion, only to be overpowered by what this illusion had to offer. You want to rattle the illusion – give it a wake-up-shake-up, then send Gods of the Infinite to show these Serpents what they should be so that they can see what they have become. What we do, is done with Love and understanding. We are not out to “get ‘em,” we merely want to end this insanity that has come to be seen as the norm.


One needs understanding. What came to me in my sleep state last night cannot be defined as Evil, because they are not Evil – they are merely lost and confused, and more than anything, they need help. From this perspective help will be sent, as they cannot carry on doing what they have always done.

So be it.

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It was during my second year of high school that the wheels almost came off my parents’ marriage. My dad was caught out again, with one of the many affairs he had, but this was the first time it hit the family arena where we as children knew about it. My lost, lonely, insecure status must have been amplified by fifty, but one needs to keep going, placing one foot ahead of the other, where too didn’t matter, as one had to keep surviving and moving forwards in this strange, unfamiliar place.

During this period I was at school one day, and one of the teachers called me out the classroom to talk to me. I remember standing there on the porch wondering what this man had to say to me – was it about my work in the class he taught? He told me that he heard it was going bad at home, and that I must be strong. This remark from someone outside my social and family life side-swiped me; I did not expect it. My reaction to this man’s kindness was me bursting out in tears, as I was caught off guard and I could not hide what was brewing within me that I even was unaware of.


What I want to do now is side-swipe all the astral/spirit forms within the illusion. What I want to tell you all is that the heartache you have experienced was not natural and it was not meant to be. Your sadness is my sadness, and I want you be cognitive of this sadness so that you may let it go.

To start anew one needs to purge the past. Let go of everything you know and have become so that what you are can be built on a blank slate.

Know that you are Love and Love is all around and within you. Just let go of everything you have held on to – in other words, surrender to this Love. If you hold onto what you believe to be real you will miss the ride as it passes by. Let go and be embraced by the Everything. Don’t be afraid.


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It’s just after one in the morning, and it’s freezing cold outside, but it’s worthwhile sitting here in the cold, as what I have to say is important.


One wonders what Tolkien, the author of The Lord of the Rings – one wonders if he knew what he knew.

The Ring is the parasitic frequency of Deception; the predator that came from the depth of the cosmos. The Ring was not something one wore around the finger – it was something within you. When you have a worm inside of you, it is often portrayed as a ring on your skin.

I mention Tolkien, because in all the years that I have seen and been mishandled by those from the shadows, what came last night to implant a dream and take me over was a first. It was a spider. There is no ways I will mention details, as you do not want to hear of the experience, as it will bloody fucking freak you out. What I do want to say, is when the web had been spun around me, and I felt the spider make it home in the crack of my arse, it was not me saying that I am Love and what has happened to me is an illusion – all the amount of talking and reasoning did not help, all you do is just let the strand be, and this removes all this shit that these Beasts are.


The only threat to the Game in this place called Hell is the Dragon spirit, and its cloned part the Dragon soul. The fires wherein the Ring is thrown to be destroyed is the Dragon with its fire, as the Dragon was there in the beginning – it was born from the Source, and thus the essence of the Infinite, and not the illusion, is within the Dragon, and this is what destroys the Ring, as it was born in the illusion and cannot take hold and form in the Infinite.

As I lay in bed and felt this spider and the web it had spun around me, and the poison it had injected into me disappear as the strand within me came to the fore, I remembered in the movie that the spider was the last major obstacle before they entered the mountain where the river of lava/fire was. I knew that I was close to this “fire,” so I opened myself to experience it, and from there I felt this tumulous, controlled movement within my abdominal area. As you would imagine molten rock come from within the Earth – this is what I felt; this eruption and movement of something that has always been there. What I felt was the Dragon soul within.


You call forth this Dragon – you awaken it and its fire within. When this dude is awake and remembers who and what it is and from where it arose, that is when you are free of the illusion, as the parasitic frequency of Deception within you cannot be any more. That is when you awaken, and that is when you as you know yourself will never be the same again.

I have felt the movement and fire of this Dragon within. Now you know it is there within you. Now you just let it be.



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My wife left early for work this morning, so I lay in bed and thought to myself now would be as good a time as ever to release/awaken the Dragon soul within. I went into the stillness of the silence, and what I first felt within me was the end of the road of Life within the illusion. I felt the destruction of us the body form, and the hopelessness of the spirit. We are in an illusionary bubble, and somehow, somewhere, we know this. Eventually we hit a brick wall, and we understand that this is all there is here in the illusion. When I felt this emptiness I understood that this is the real reason why Life is so cruel; why we can be so nasty, and that reason is that sooner or later we understand that there is nothing here in the illusion, and so we stop caring and become nasty. Now I understand why the line is crossed where we knowingly accept ourselves as a Beast – a Reptilian piece of snake-shit that amplifies the despair within this place we call home. We know that we are nothing in the illusion and thus we become nothing.


This I do not accept, because there is more – there is the place beyond the illusion.

So as I lay in bed, I passed this stage of emptiness within me, and I opened myself up to the essence of the Dragon soul within. I felt this movement within me, and then I felt this intense heat under the nail of my big toe. In his book Stalking the Wild Pendulum, the author Itzhak Bentov describes the release of the kundalini energy beginning at the nail area of the big toe. I remember him saying that a tell-tale of the kundalini release in many is the blackening of the skin under the nail of the big toe in the foot.

One needs to understand what is happening to you when you experience this: The essence of the Infinite from the Dragon soul within you is coming to the fore and taking over you the illusionary form. You are being engulfed with what is out there beyond the illusion; the real world is making itself known; what you are experiencing is at last natural rather than unnatural.

Accept this essence of the Infinite as it takes you over and you become what you should be.


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(Just as a side, my friend asked me to send “healing” to his daughter that was in ICU with this so-called Covid nonsense.

When I went into her space I felt the same as what I felt on a previous victim – I felt this cold, invasive, deadly frequency coursing through the body. The only organ that was spared was the lungs, and this makes sense, as doctors initially complained of their patients having symptoms of high-altitude sickness. It was not so much that the lungs were affected, it was that the lungs could not adapt to the new environment around them, this invasive frequency, and this caused the lungs to bomb-out. (Why this happens is what I can only assume to be the strategy to kill the victim.)

This I know, but what I don’t know is how is the victim targeted with this invasive, deadly frequency – who gets it and who doesn’t? Is the victim random, or are they targeted?


So if they wanted to attack me with this frequency, what would I have that you don’t?

When I open myself up understand this question, what I feel is intense movement within the left, lower quadrant of the abdomen, as if something has just awoken or been placed there. From there it multiplies and takes over the system. But I need to understand how it gets there. I feel it awakening in the reproductive organs in the lower abdomen – the area becomes painful. Now the pain is almost gone. So what do I have that kills this frequency that others don’t have?

Remember, we are dealing with a frequency, and not a so-called virus. What allows me to repel the frequency and others can’t?


Let’s go back a step. How is the frequency sent to us?

The brain-wave pattern picked it up, so we can assume this frequency attached to the frequencies, as in WiFi for example, all around us, and piggy-backed itself from there into our space. So we are all open to this frequency. What did Linda have that allowed the frequency to stay within her and multiply and take her over?

I go back to the time just before she was attacked/infected to find out. Now she is fine, and then I feel this heat over the right brain in particular – that’s the frequency attaching itself. From there is moves to the left, upper side of the back of the pelvis. It lingers there, and from there enters the adjacent small intestinal area and reproductive system. Now I feel heat within the entire brain, as if the frequency is seeing if it is compatible to the host/victim. What makes the victim compatible to the frequency where the frequency takes them over? What does Linda have that you and I don’t? Maybe the right question to ask is what does the invasive frequency want? Now I feel the back of my neck get really warm.


Linda is in ICU, and I am here. Besides that she has the frequency, what else does she have that I don’t? When I ask this question I feel something within the back of her skull. That is the “male” frequency, that was implanted some time earlier. Now I feel the “male” invasive frequency unite, and there is heat at the back of my neck.

It’s what I thought – she has a “male” frequency that mates/unites with the invasive frequency at the back of the neck area. What these two spawn multiplies in the victim’s body and takes it over.


To answer my question: the victim is random. What they have that you and I don’t have is a “male” frequency that waits for the female frequency. What they spawn is what kills or infects the host by taking them over.

Why is this done? From the victims lungs, what was born between these frequencies is released. What do these new-born fuckers do from there?

The vaccine is a body changing drug that deletes our consciousness – our empathy; our love – what makes us Human. What will replace this consciousness? Is it these spawned entities?


My goodness me. May I be wrong.

How is this mating and spawning process within us stopped? By understanding them and telling them to fuck off. )

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The question one needs to ask oneself, is what happened to the Dragon soul that it became so floored. Through my limited understanding and imagination, I was shown last night in my sleep state what happened to this Dragon soul. I do not know how many lifetimes this journal has been in the making, but when I understood last night what was done to keep this entity down, I knew that the culmination of my searching to find the truth was to make this wrong right – I would never rest until what they done to the Dragon soul was made right. That incident; that moment, defined the starting point where Life within the illusion became twisted and barbaric. From that moment there was no turning back – now all within the illusion was a Beast through the association of what was done to the Dragon soul.

When the Gaia of the world we were meant to inhabit told me that “we were born of savages,” no doubt she was referring to what was done to the Dragon soul and The Wisdom Goddess Sophia.


With the infiltration of the parasitic frequency of Deception within the Dragon and Serpent souls and spirits in the Garden of Semiramis, there was a Fall; a cataclysm. The spirits Fell into slumber as the dense frequency around them knocked them out, and the souls continued to Fall.

To where they Fell I don’t know, and that there was a “battle” during this Fall has been known, but this “battle” was not a battle in its true sense – it was a battle of wills to see who would survive and get the upper hand in this dense frequency where the new game of survival had a name, which was Winner Takes All.

The Serpent souls won – the group that hypnotized the one that chose to fall from the Infinite; the Dragon spirit that was free of the parasite within – this group took charge of the show. (The Lord of the Ring was this pure Dragon spirit that was free of the parasite, who was hypnotized to form a twisted Love, where what was done never made sense, as disharmony flourished and the innocent were destroyed.)


What happened to the Dragon souls happened to one, and through the association of this Dragon soul to its kin, all the Dragon souls were affected.

What happened took place in a public arena for all to see, and the reason for this was to shame and humiliate.

What I experienced in my sleep state last night was an attack on the Dragon souls mind. This attack was to reverse what the Dragon soul knew and was. No doubt this group of Serpent souls had perfected and made hypnosis an art. The attack was to keep the Dragon soul between states of consciousness, where it did not know what it was.

While I was shown this attack, I heard something to the right side of the arena where this torture and shaming was taking place. When I looked there, I saw a sex act was taking place as a side-show to the main event. Within the first few weeks of writing this journal I knew that if ever there was a cosmic rape, I knew that it happened to The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. Now I know when it happened – it happened as the Dragon soul was been driven to forget itself. So while the torture endured so that the Dragon soul may forget itself, salt was rubbed into the wound as the Creator was raped, for all to see, including the Dragon soul.

We forget, because what happened was too horrific to remember.


Now I know why I would never rest until this illusionary bubble is burst, where this sickness can no longer be allowed to fester and grow.

By knowing what happened to the Dragon souls, what happened is undone. How this is done is by having the courage to remember what is best left forgotten. One stands up and says “No more.” What was done and has been done is no more. We stand together as One, where no more will there be suffering. The time of the savage; of the Beast is no more.

The Dragon soul within remembers now what it was and what became of it. By remembering what it is, it returns home to the spirit Dragon from where it was cloned. The Serpent soul within us takes it there, and from there the Serpent soul that became a slave species to its own kin returns to the Serpent spirits in slumber. All are awoken.


A wrong has been made right.

What will happen to us I don’t know. For now, that is not important to me.



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Now all that is left that is you is the biological computer body form; the static less dense astral/spirit form; and of course the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness.

Whenever you can, you go into the stillness of the silence and allow this strand to just be. You stand aside and allow what is real to come to the fore. In the long term, nothing was going to change within our existence until the unseen got a wake-up-shake-up.

As I closed my eyes to sleep last night I saw this old man in a wheelchair with a disgusting smirk on his face looking at me. He was laughing at me the weak, the innocent, with me thinking I am something. For how long has he preyed on the seen, and now this whipper-snapper called Steven comes along and thinks he knows better.

This old man floated to a position where he was right in from of me. Then he flipped himself and his wheelchair over, where they were upside down. From there, he put his head right against mine, so as I lay in bed I saw his head just above mine. It was like his head began to smoulder and disfigure, and what was going on was a transfer of disharmony between him and me.

I reminded myself that this nonsense has been no more, and this entity disappeared from my space. They can no longer harm us, as they have been rattled and their power is beginning to fade. The awakening of the Dragon marked the dismantling of Hell, and this I never knew until I understood what happened to the Dragon soul.


You go into the stillness of the silence and allow the strand located at your throat area to just be. It shines like a lighthouse, and any disharmony within you will be dismantled. From there you open yourself up to all those you love, and all those who love you, as the disharmony you are carrying might be that of others and not your own. From there you open yourself up to any other who might need your assistance, and to these your strand does the same – it awakens the strand within others to repel the disharmony in their space.

If I check on someone, I go into the stillness of the silence, and from there into their space. From there, I need to know when the transformation process is complete, so as a guideline, when the process starts, my thumb is lifted up, as in a “thumbs up” sign. I have programmed myself that when the healing is complete, my thumb drops down. Who you worked on you remind their strand to carrying on shining and glowing until this essence is in its full might.


Then there might be those that are out there within the seen and unseen that want to “get you,” and the primary reason for this is that it is easier to attack than self-reflect and clean up their own shop. The satisfaction of destroying others makes them feel better about themselves, and it shows that they were right and you were wrong, as now you are destroyed and they are not.

What you do to eradicate these from your space is by doing the following: From the “light” of the strand shines understanding, and this understanding is that Love is all there is, and everything else is an illusion. When disharmony hits this “light” i.e. it tries to enter your space, this disharmony either sees this light and becomes this light, or the disharmony sees nothing, and falls into itself. To explain this as a picture, imagine this disharmony standing there, and with the next step it falls into a black hole and then does a loop within this hole to reappear where it was. In other words, it stands still and goes nowhere as you are no longer in their existence. They have nothing to hold onto and attack.

Yesterday I felt the strong presence of one who wanted to destroy me, and when I applied this principle it worked like a charm.


When you are okay, and those you love are okay, send your Love that is you the strand into the seen and unseen – just because you can. You are making this place, and other worlds, a better place for all.



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It is four in the morning. What I saw in my sleep state pretty well blew me away.


My wife has not been well since Saturday – complains of light headedness/dizziness, painful neck and a pressing over the heart. From my side I have seen a change in her, as in less empathy. The old streak of “who’s the boss!” I see towards the children, and I make her aware of it in a polite way whenever I see it. This happens seldom, but it is there, as well as this hardened aloofness – as I said, less empathy.

I go into her space and I do what I can to heal, but in healing one needs to always understand the cause, otherwise you merely just hit out fires and do nothing really substantial.


I am thankful that I see what I see in my sleep state. I am thankful that I understand the game plan of those from the shadows, otherwise there would have been far more death around me, in particular my own.

The implanted dream last night was a long one. This is unusual, as it is normally short and to the point to harness our energy or destroy us.

In the implanted dream I was shown aerial photographs of the land – how it was before, and how it is now. What I was shown was that the population had grown too much, and something had to be done about it. The majority of the dream I found myself in a military barracks of sort. The place was huge, cold, impersonal – it was a place where you did not want to be as the walls themselves breathed this tyranny of master and slave. You were one or the other, and there was nothing else there.

The masters of this place were Human looking, and they donned military uniforms. They looked Asians, but I have yet to see such a race: yellow, olive skin color, with a Middle Eastern look to them as well. Maybe what the people of Khazakstan looked like a long time ago.


Now this is the part that blew me away. My astral/spirit form was shown an informed consent document by one of those in authority in this barracks-type building. I looked at the forms, and there were two places I had to sign, where I gave them consent to give me a vaccination. Understand this place where I was in – I was the slave and those that gave me the form were master. I told them in a fearful tone that it is my body, and I don’t consent to being injected with the compound whose name was on this form.


That is when I awoke from the dream, or should I say the place I was taken to. As I lay in bed I saw the one who must have given me the forms to sign in our spirit encounter. He was laughing uncontrollably – at me – and to try and hide this laughter he put his hand over his eyes. Then I saw the snakes around him, and during this episode of me seeing the snakes and him, they must have given me the “vaccine” that I objected to signing informed consent for.


And it is here that these idiots think I am the fool. They want me to question myself; to doubt myself. Have I been wrong regarding we need to give them consent before they can play with us. No, I am not wrong, and these fuckers know this.

When I first started to see the unseen, I would see how those came in my sleep state to take my energy. In those early days it was still harmless stuff, as in energy was merely taken and there were no cosmic assassins and those that possess. One night I saw this Human looking entity in a wheelchair come and take my energy. That  night I was fuming, as I had enough of this nonsense. I told this entity to give my energy back, as he had no right to take what was not his. When I said that this dude got stuck in time – as try as he did, he could not move his wheelchair to get away from me. He did not have a choice – he gave me my energy back, and only then could he depart my space.


So this whole consent form nonsense was a red-herring, as I said, to throw me a wobbly so that I may doubt myself.

Why I was shown this dream was because I needed to understand what had happened to my wife, so as much as the implanted dream was made to appear that I was the slave, the truth was that I was master over these fuckers. I summoned them to understand what those from the unseen done to my wife, because unless I understand I cannot help. She was poisoned from those from the shadows just short of a week ago, and her poisoning was not so much to cause her harm, but more to throw Steven a wobbly.


I have always been open to being wrong. I welcome being wrong as I learn. But what these entities forget is that I see them, and thus I write about what I see and feel and smell. From the beginning I have always known what we are, which is this Love, and this was my foundation from the start. That the foundation was not there was irrelevant, because I knew that with each step a part of who and what we are would grow and take shape until we are what we are.


I am blown away by how rattled and desperate those from the shadows are.

Stand your ground. Know who and what you are. One needs an open heart energy field, but equally important, one needs a head on ones shoulders to keep our feet on the ground and to see where we are walking.  


(After writing the above, I went to climb back in bed to fall asleep, and when I closed my eyes I saw the form of a wizard standing in front of me. He was the one who placed the “poison” within my wife – I felt it within the marrow of her left thigh bone. The wizard placed a character/personality altering potion within her. I told this wizard that what he and his kin done to my wife and all others was undone, and that their powers were no more.

The power of the cruel within the seen and unseen is only as strong as the veil they hide behind. Once the veil is lifted their power and game is over.)


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It was a good fifteen years ago when I walked up to a horse to treat it and was stopped dead in my tracks. Looking back at that moment, there must have been a push-back of energy, where I was pushed to one side, as now I was to be student instead of someone who thought he knew something. On the astral/spirit realm I became a student to the animals, where I came to understand that there is more than flesh and blood and the world of solidity. I never knew it at the time, as well as for years after that, that the world of energy and the unseen was being introduced to me.

Now this lost, insecure fart that studied his backside off to get where he was would have to take a back seat while the greatest masters of expressing love – the animals – would introduce him to the world of the unseen. I became humble, where everything I knew was pushed to one side so that I could start anew on a blank slate.


Yesterday evening I once again felt the pang of meaninglessness. What does this world have to offer? How many pizza and movie nights does one have before you wonder if there isn’t something we are missing that is being hidden from us? Surely we are meant for more than the limitations we have been given?

When I went through another implanted dream last night I woke up this morning and understood that this Steven has reached the end of the road. I have done all I can do, and now, for the second time in my life, I am to stand aside. Who will teach me now I don’t know, but now I open a new door and stand aside.

Over the years I have done my best. Our time is short here, and I want to make the most of this experience on this planet, so I pushed myself each day to understand more. I asked for only one criteria to my learning, and that was it had to make simple, basic, common sense. And it all has, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Last night before I went to sleep I said to my wife that if I do not see beings of Love in my sleep state I will throw a serious tantrum. I didn’t throw a tantrum, but I understood that there is something I am missing, and to receive it, I have to get out the way. This I will do. I will no longer push; I will stand aside and open myself up to receive. As before, I have one criteria, and that it to make this understanding chop-chop – hurry up in showing what needs to be shown – our time here is short.



Went to sleep last night with a blank slate – was open to stand aside and receive.

I slept for a long period of time, and when I awoke through my Third Eye I was lying on my side facing my wife. I saw this lady lying over her, and at my wife’s head was a small monkey will a vessel/jar of sorts that collected my wife's energy in this vessel. Above her head I saw a spider walking. It walked towards me, and I felt something pierce my jugular vein to drink, and then I turned on my back to get a better view of what this spider was doing to me. They must have been aware that I sussed them all out, as I saw nothing after that, and I fell asleep until I woke this morning.


This is what makes sense to me: I can find a way where those from the shadows can no longer feed from our energy, but they will die, just as we will die when we stop feeding from what is on our planet. We cannot tell them or make them stop eating from our energy when we carry on killing/destroying to eat – that is double standards.

What make sense is that the only way out of this mess, where all are elevated to begin anew, and from there all can decide if they want to carry on rising or want to fall, is through Divine/Infinite intervention.

We were initially manufactured to inhabit a beautiful planet and experience its joys and wonders, but when things began to fall apart in the illusionary worlds, we were modified to become feeders for the illusion. As the shaman Don Juan Matus said, we are reared in Human coops – humaneros.

Oh yes, the strand within can shine forth, and we can lead a joyous life, but this journal is about everyone and everything within the illusion – how do we benefit all; how can the strand shine within all, even the cruelest of Beasts? Let’s give everyone a fighting chance to make an about-turn, and for me, the only way this can be done is through the Infinite piercing the illusion and giving everyone the option to bail out or stay put.


Any other constructive suggestions anyone else has will be appreciated.

What I also wonder is what role the spider has within the shadows. I have seen the creatures of the shadows, the slugs etc., but the spider is in the upper echelons of the shadows and has a definitive, important role to play. I wonder what that is – any suggestions will be appreciated.



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Image the excitement in a group of friends that got their hands on the finest brewed Columbian cocaine, and can’t wait to get a taste of the devils finest. Each hit is better than the one before. Wow man – what a night to remember!!

What came to feed from my energy last night was a group bang – there were a few of them snorting my energy through what looked like a trumpet. This was a first for me – where I was the thrill and excitement of a party, where I was the party.

You wake up and you feel degraded. I wondered where were my friends in the unseen.


The focus of this journal has been to free the unseen, because it is from the unseen that we the seen are preyed and played upon. The natural state of the Infinite was replaced by the unnatural state of take what you can to survive. There was a free for all, with the winner taking all and the losers being knocked down the line so that they may know their place. I have always said that we are worse than these Beasts that I have encountered from the shadows, and the reason being is that we should have known better, as we have a conscience. No matter what Life throws at you, you have no right to be nasty to anyone or anything out there. Life gets the better of all of us, but we bounce back and get the upper hand, as ultimately we want more than anything to be happy. To be miserable is not a long-term solution, as all you do is pull yourself and those around you into an unpleasant existence.


This morning I drove past my neighbour. This is one seriously unpleasant man. The verbal attack he unleashed on me took me literally years to overcome, as it was so unexpected, cruel and most of all, unnecessary. What an awful, cruel, unpleasant man. Then I thought of my own family members, and how they attacked me verbally, and this unpleasant neighbour suddenly disappeared from my space. All the attacks I have experienced, in the seen and unseen were no longer personal. As awful as it sounds, being in the presence of the illusion opens one up to experience extremes of sorrow and cruelty. We, the manufactured species are the tools that do the job, and the machine from where we the tools are manufactured can be defined as Life itself. From a monster a monster is born. We get what we give, and that is why, instead of uplifting ourselves and others, we have become more and more detached from ourselves and what is out there.

This I understand, as we have been played from the shadows, just as we play on the weak and the innocent.


Has this journal brought nothing to the table besides us understanding why Life is so cruel? Everything is energy here within the illusion, so if we understand where we are, what we are, and where we should be, surely this should allow us to rise above this mess?

Over the weekend this old client of mine told me her dog was not well. She sent me a photo of the dog, and I picked up this dog was carrying someone in the families disharmony. A family member got the vaccine, and through the dogs energy I went into this persons energy and felt this cold, invasive energy of the vaccine that was destroying this person. Through the dogs energy I passed into this persons energy field and healed them, and of course the dog also came right. This took about a minute or two to do.

What was done was no big deal. It is natural, because if you understand, everything unfolds and a wrong is made right.


So why are those from the shadows still feeding from us? Where are my friends in the unseen? Why do they not come and visit me in my sleep state?

This journal has answered some big questions, but the above-mentioned questions I believe are bigger than me and you. I will carry on doing my best, and more than that I cannot do. I am a blessed person. I count my blessings every day. Could it be that I do not know what I want? What I want is to touched by the Infinite – I want to be one with my Home as this is naturally what we all are. What I am asking for is the basics, and I am asking on behalf of everyone – not just me.

Will carry on standing to one side to see/experience what the Infinite unfolds. All will be revealed. We are bigger than monsters. We are bigger than cruelty. This “bigness” will show itself.



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Yesterday evening as I lay in bed I promised myself that next Tuesday will be a good time to end this journal – then it will be seven and a half years to the day in the writing. I felt sorry for myself, as there comes a time when enough is enough. I have given my pound of flesh, and then some, and now I would like it to end. I would like to move on with my life and start anew.

Fell asleep, and what I was awoken to changed my perspective of everything.


Many times I smell these Beasts from the shadows before I see them – their smell is unmistakable, but this morning I was awoken by an ice-cold presence around my face. What was before me were some of the forgotten creatures from the shadows. One looked like a crocodile, the other looked like a large flat piece of rock with a mouth from one of those monsters in the Aliens movies. The others I can’t describe.


When you want more than anything to be touched by Love, and this does not happen (from my limited perspective anyway) then you do the second best, which is you give this Love. As these creatures came and stood before me, I extended my hand out to them as I lay in bed and I told them I Love them. My goodness me. When you witness these creatures that have been lost in time and space before the beginning of time, you understand that one cannot really complain.

They came to me because now they understand who and what they are and where they belong, and Steven was their departure point to say goodbye to the illusion as they went Home. Everything I have been through I will gladly go through a thousand times again, as the privilege of setting these lost “monsters” free was worth what I have been through.


“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

I want the illusion to be washed over with the Love from the Infinite, and what better time for this to happen than through us. Open yourself up to receive the opportunity to touch others with the Love that you are. There is no better feeling than setting the lost free – not through words, but through the power of understanding. They see the state/frequency of understanding within you and this sets them free.

At the same time, open yourself up to receive your contentment and your peace. We do not live in our cave in the mountains with nothing but a loin cloth to cover our privates – we are engaged in Life, finding our peace and sanctuary in this uncertain dimension. Once it is found, from this platform you will be invincible, as now you have peace within and without.

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One of the creatures I saw in my sleep state early this morning had golly-wog shoulder length hair. The eyes were slits, and the body was made up of what looked like black leather. Now here’s the interesting part: Embedded within the body at different locations were small entities/beings.

(There was a group of these beings.)


I remember a while back in my sleep state seeing in a fleeting moment how one entity “split open” to reveal other entities within it.

If you stare at an object long enough it will split into two, and it is in this split that others dwell amongst us. I believe that those knocks in Life affect us in more ways than one, where entities enter our space while we are rattled, and stay. People who allow these entities to come to the fore are labelled “split personalities,” but I believe that this is true for all of us. Within all are different entities that come along for the ride and make our lives a mess in more ways than one.


Go into the stillness of the silence, and allow yourself to be split into two on an energy/unseen level. From there, release all that are within your space – the good, the bad and the ugly – as “good” is a very relative term. What is good for others may not be good for you.

From there, keep your space clean at all times. No more entities/gremlins are allowed to enter and take a hold of your life. So be it.


(When you heal, take it from now on for granted that the healing process eradicates these latchers-on from those you wish to help.)



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In my astral form I went to a place nearby the sea. There, on the rocks adjacent to the sea, a group of people were being entertained by what that this large snake can do. I had no interest in such affairs, so I walked away.

Then I found myself in a place where I was shown a symbolic picture. I was shown numerous bathtubs across a landscape, and in each bath stood a person. A voice told me “pressure” would be placed on each one. (I assume each tub to be a world within the illusion, and the person standing therein represents the Life in that frequency.) When I go into the stillness of the silence to feel/understand what this means, where I am in one of the bathtubs, what I feel I don’t understand. This tells me that it is not for me to know, and this I respect.



What is it within us that is addicted to Life? What holds us to illusion, where it has become our best friend, where, no matter what this world throws at us, it is okay, because we love being attached to our world. Is it security – where we want more than anything to have a place to call our own where we can grow roots and belong? “Wow, Life is tough and cruel, but it’s all okay.”


What keeps us glued to this dense frequency? The simple answer is our lost state. We don’t know who we are and where we belong, so we make the most of what we have.

My advice to myself is to let go of what this world and all the other dimensions have to offer. In the long term, there is nothing here for us within the illusion. Understand this, and then turn your back on what was to engage what should be.



What came last night when I closed my eyes to sleep must have been the “old school” from the shadows. They were old, huge snakes that travelled together as one close unit. They slithered together side by side – literally – as in their bodies touched each other. I looked quickly at them, and  then I looked away – not a pleasant sight to be in the presence of.

Was right about the different entities that take up residence in our space. Saw one last night. It looked like a fish’s head. Saw it above me, and then it dived into my body, and felt it chomping away at the energy within me, making itself comfortable; making my space its own. When I felt this entity within me making a home for itself, I thought of Gothic architecture with all its finicky lines. This entity within me was related to this frequency/state of Gothic art. When you see this art form, and you can split it apart, what you will see within its shadows are these specific looking entities.


My family must think I am sleeping in a bit in the mornings, but what I am doing is allowing the strand within me to be, to remove this shit that I experience. Welcome to the Wild West where the sun never sets on the monsters of the illusion. What I see is normal – it is out there in all different sizes and shapes. It is just a pity that we get the short end of the stick, where we are negatively influenced by this trash. It is these fools that keep us glued to the illusion, as they pull us down and keep us down. My daughter in primary school recited something she had to learn for a test the other morning. What she said was a quote from the actor Michael J Fox. He said: “Integrity is something that cannot be taken from you – only you can give it away.” That hit the nail on the head in relation to what causes us to cross the line and become Beasts – we give our integrity away. No doubt our integrity is often put to the test by those within us. I hear the negativity within me, but refuse to be a part of it.


How does one get out of the Wild West – this illusion where trash roam about and play with us? The ones that have left are not here to tell us how they done it. I think nobody has left. The spider spins the perimeter walls of the illusion and keeps us here.

Being graced by the grannies of the Serpents last night means there no doubt has been a wake-up-shake-up within the shadows. These idiots are starting to see themselves and question who they are and what they have allowed themselves to become. May the seen fools within the illusion follow suit and do the same.

More than anything, I would like to depart this place, where I am an observer rather than a docile participant. My wife phoned me and told me how a radio presenter was talking to someone this morning about mandatory vaccine passports, where it is no-passport-no-job. These fucking idiots on the radio that imagine themselves to be so cool and educated are all for this scam, and then I understood the way out of the illusion. Just stand your ground; keep your sanity and integrity; always know what you are, and what these seen and unseen fools do to themselves broadens the rift between the illusion and Love. Their insanity pulls them away from you, and they want to take you with them by talking fear into you. Stand your ground. Know what you are. The fools in the seen and unseen are doing your job for you – they are drifting further and further away from you, and in doing so, the light of Love cannot help but shine through.



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