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Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

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I have always maintained, and always will, that talk is cheap. Yes, we have to clean up shop by understanding who we are, where we are, and what happened to get us in this mess, but what happens then?

Steven says you be kindness, which is an expression of who you really are, which is the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness within you.

To know means nothing, unless you be and do. My father spent almost every moment of his spare time reading spiritual books. As a person, and a father, all that reading about all this meaningful, deep stuff got him nowhere – it never bettered himself one iota, not as a person or a father.

I have met walking spiritual encyclopedias who literally have a degree on spiritual matters, and yet these people cannot even pass on fatherly love and patience to their young children. So who is fooling who? Have we all forgotten the basics, which is practice what you know to be the truth.


And then there is Steven. What does Steven have to offer Steven for the last seven years of being a recluse and writing this journal? Of course I am being hard on myself, as to change what happened before the beginning of time does not happen overnight. When I sat down to write this journal I had no idea where I was going – I never knew about Sophia and Semiramis and those from the shadows. A story unfolded before me, and each day I wrote about the story – primarily through what I saw that we were not allowed to see, namely how those from the shadows rule over us and we are merely their food source.

Well, bully for you Steven. Bully for you for not being afraid of those fuckers from the shadows, and bully for you for persevering no matter what. But what happens now, because you know what – talk is cheap.


If I have to wait for Divine intervention, I might have to wait a long time. I don’t have much faith in hope, where I hope that things will be okay. If Divine intervention comes I will meet it as I walk the path Home, but on to sit on my arse and wait is not an option.

One could say that for the last few years I have lived in the night. When I close my eyes to sleep I see the unseen and understand – so that we may all understand. This is the true dimension here in Hell, where what happens within the shadows affects us on the illusionary physical stage.

What happens when one passes the dimension of Beasts? I would assume one enters our true state of what we are, namely the fields of the Infinite. From there, it makes sense that this state has a direct impact on us the illusionary physical form, and it is then that the cheap talk is replaced by the truth of being what you are. Now we are an expression of our true selves.


But all this talk is cheap. Let’s see what happens.


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Woke up this morning a few hours before sunrise, and as I lay in bed, I just allowed my higher self to touch my body/lower self. Nothing happened, except that I heard a voice that said: “Your species have been relocated.”

Within the first few weeks of writing this journal, I quoted Credo Mutwa, the Zulu shaman. I cannot recall the specifics, but I think I wrote that Credo said we came from the Brown planet. At the time of writing this I thought nothing of it, but this morning when I heard the message I was blown away, as it made so much sense. Drop the birds into the ocean and tell them all to now swim rather than fly, and what you get is chaos, where it is every fucker for themselves – and understandably so.


To be what we truly are I cannot define. Years back I remember going in my sleep state to the world of magicians, where performing magic is as normal as breathing. And yet, even in this world of highly evolved beings, I saw those hiding from the shadows feeding from their energy.

What if those magicians from that world knew of the Game and how they were played and preyed upon? What if they knew of their true Home and how they got to be separated from the fields of the Infinite? Surely this understanding will send them Home in the blink of an eye, as already they are on such a highly evolved/less dense frequency?

Without understanding we eventually all fall. One time while we were on holiday at the coast I saw in my sleep state this space ship come and dock on the edge of the cliff where we were staying. Those inside were scouts – they were dying, just as those on their planet were dying, and they came to look for a way out of their predicament. These dying dudes had technology that was hundreds of years beyond ours, and yet their time was coming to an end and they could do nothing about it.

Stay in Hell, and die in Hell. This applies to all within the worlds of Hell, as our “advancement,” no matter how spectacular, always takes us away from the natural flow of what is, namely the fields of the Infinite.


Surely the stepping stone to be what we are, and from there the catapult towards Home begins with us being where we were manufactured to fit into? This makes so much sense.

Were we relocated at the last minute in order to be dumbed down so that others who were dying could feed from our energy?

I remember writing about unlocking our latent, or “junk” DNA so that we may be omnipotent. Was this infinite potential within us locked up when we were placed into a frequency/world where we don’t belong? This makes sense to me, but let’s find out.


Where there is an emitter there has to be a receiver – the two go hand in hand, because when the one is isolated from the other, both are deemed pretty useless. We the biological computer were manufactured to resonate to our frequency/world so that the two may be compatible to each other. Our relocation prevented this from happening, thus we have been like ducks out of water, doing our best to survive but all the while being bloody miserable. Now you know why – we are not in the world/frequency that we are compatible with.

This problem is so easily corrected through understanding. As you know you are in a place where you don’t belong, you connect to the frequency to whom you are compatible. For Pete’s sakes, just be what you are – just emit your frequency, preferably through the stillness of the heart energy field. When you transmit; when you are what you are, the receiver/world where you belong, will pick up your frequency and you will belong where you were manufactured to be. This places you on a higher state, and from there, you pass Go – you go directly Home.


This connecting to my true frequency/world I will do, and we can take it from there.

As we are made up of layers of energy, so too are there layers of frequencies all around us. Connect to your frequency/world to unlock within you what was locked by us being thrown into a place where we don’t belong.  


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On 4/17/2021 at 11:39 AM, steven geldenhuys said:

Where there is an emitter there has to be a receiver – the two go hand in hand, because when the one is isolated from the other, both are deemed pretty useless. We the biological computer were manufactured to resonate to our frequency/world so that the two may be compatible to each other. Our relocation prevented this from happening, thus we have been like ducks out of water, doing our best to survive but all the while being bloody miserable. Now you know why – we are not in the world/frequency that we are compatible with.

This problem is so easily corrected through understanding. As you know you are in a place where you don’t belong, you connect to the frequency to whom you are compatible. For Pete’s sakes, just be what you are – just emit your frequency, preferably through the stillness of the heart energy field. When you transmit; when you are what you are, the receiver/world where you belong, will pick up your frequency and you will belong where you were manufactured to be. This places you on a higher state, and from there, you pass Go – you go directly Home.


This connecting to my true frequency/world I will do, and we can take it from there.

As we are made up of layers of energy, so too are there layers of frequencies all around us. Connect to your frequency/world to unlock within you what was locked by us being thrown into a place where we don’t belong.  

Excellent, that's a very good analogy and solution.

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Stubborn; hard-arse; own worst enemy; not willing to embrace change; not willing to do what is best for everyone; inconsiderate; selfish; self-centered – from where do you think all of these traits arose? They arose from us being dumped in a place where we don’t belong. We were meant to inhabit another world/frequency – not this one.

As the frequency of this world is not compatible to our frequency, there was a shearing/separation within our frequency. Instead of us uniting and connecting with the world that was ours, what the blue planet done was create a shear instead of a connection within our forms. That is why we are all so fucked up, with me standing first in line. I refused to let go of my kindness/sanity, and this created even a greater division within our species with those that chose to let go and do what they wanted – because they can. Well, you can’t, because I won’t allow you to, and neither will your body forms allow you to from now on because we are all connected to the frequency where we were initially meant to be, and this connection has healed the shear within our forms.


I remember writing within the first month or so of this journal about us being likened to a crystal class with a small crack in it. The glass is beautiful, but that small crack stuffed everything up. I didn’t know it then, but now I know – that crack was from our separation from being in a place where we don’t belong. We were intentionally dumped on the wrong planet/world/frequency. Those that were dying somewhere needed a sudden and huge amount of energy, thus we were sent to a frequency that was not compatible to ours so that maximum disharmony may be emitted by us. My goodness me – hasn’t their plan worked like a dream!


What I am trying to say is that there is an open window coming our way. Opportunities will come for us to uplift ourselves, and these opportunities arose from our connection to the frequency we were built to be compatible with.

Take these opportunities when they present themselves. Transform then you – you the individual, and you the species of planet Earth. In helping yourself, spread your happiness to all. Don’t spread your beliefs, but your happiness, which is another expression of kindness, and from there, allow your happiness to catapult you to the fields of the Infinite. Stay in Hell, and die in Hell. Go to the fields and just be what you are.


I have always said that we have no right to impose what we feel is right on others. What this journal gives others is an option – stay in Hell, or get out. When I said that “we are all connected to the frequency we should be,” I have not imposed my will on others. What has been done is what should have been done – we were all wronged. Now we all have equal opportunity to embrace this “new” us, or we can go back to what we know – living to please the ego, and living to be miserable.

But what I will say, and have so often said, is that a time will come when the cruel bastards in the seen and unseen can no longer prey on the innocent – those that are kind and are doing their best to survive in an awful place where they don’t belong. The innocent pass through the window where they can no longer be touched by Hell.


When the window of opportunity presents itself to you, my advice is take it, but take it with understanding. Use your gift as a stepping stone to the fields of the Infinite, otherwise you remain within this different/wonderful reality that the gift presented for a few more thousand years. The world we were meant to inhabit was to create a Life far superior to the one we have known, but having said that, it was still a harvester world where those from the shadows fed from our energy.

My advice is the following: always be kind; open yourself to receive the gift/s that are naturally yours through your new-found connection to the world/frequency you were mean to inhabit; use these gifts to make you happy, and make others who want to be happy also happy in the process; allow your state of bliss to elevate you to the fields of the Infinite by understanding how we got into this mess in the first place. (Our curiosity created the parasitic frequency of Deception, and this parasite formed and took us over within the illusionary Garden of Semiramis.)


There comes a time when it is each person to themselves. We are all united, and always will be, but the path we walk as we get to know ourselves we have to walk alone.

Start yours now, and get it over with as quickly as possible, because believe you me, it is not nice walking alone.

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Went to bed last night and I just couldn’t fall asleep. A part of me was awake – waiting and anticipating something.

Over the years I learnt to see the unseen more clearly by gently pressing against my closed eyelids with the nail side of my thumbs. So after about an hour or so of lying in bed trying to sleep, I decided to see into the unseen. This was the first time I could say that I was curious to see, as the track record of seeing into the unseen only brought forth what was out there, namely monsters.


What I saw was the world/frequency we were earmarked to initially inhabit. I did not see landscapes or pictures, rather I saw patterns and symbols. This was the core construct of this world that I saw, as are patterns the construct of all worlds. Emit a light energy of sorts onto the pattern and voila – a holographic world is born and appears before your eyes.

What I saw was beautiful and cannot be described in words.


Then I fell asleep and a dream was implanted of me being in a large communal kitchen that was filled with people. This group of men were taking these people, one by one, and throwing them outside, as in this is their kitchen and nobody else is allowed there.

I awoke from the dream to see the one who had implanted it – he was sitting on a sun-deck sort of chair and was literally and figuratively looking down on me, as in who do I think I am? How I awoke from the dream was from the sensation that something was tickling my feed in a forceful manner. I remember lying in bed sleeping and then I jerked my legs away from what was touching my feet.

As soon as I saw the guy in the chair I felt what was around my feet enter by body forms at my ankle region. From there, I turned on my back and said to myself: “Let’s see what happens to those that do what they want when they want – because they can, but actually they can’t?” In that moment what was within and around me just fried away. From there, something happened that I cannot really recall ever happening in my life – I went into a deep, peaceful sleep. What I awoke to from this sleep I would like to talk about.


To live, means that we are in control of our lives and our destiny. Nobody within the seen and unseen worlds of Hell was ever lived – we have all survived. Here on the blue planet, what is the core of our survival technique? Another question that gives the same answer, is what is the focal point and height of our pleasure here on planet Earth? “Well Steven, the answer is obvious, and what is wrong with having sex?” Of course, there is nothing wrong with sex, especially between people who care for each other and are connected to each other. That we have de-based this act to a primitive savagery, where we see the act as the one and only goal throughout life is something that as a species is best kept to ourselves so that others don’t see how low we have fallen.

One of the regular occurances I have seen from the unseen is how a naked couple hovers around me, while the two of them are getting intimate. Their job is for their aroused state to rub off on the couple whom they are around in the seen world. These intimate couples I have often seen around me, and no doubt they are the world over. The point to make, is that for those from the shadows that rule over us, the orgasm is vital to their existence.


In between seeing the patterns of this world that was made for us, I saw fleetingly a lady. She had the form of a Human, but when you looked at her it was as if there was a world within her. The colors that made up her face and hair were something else. She asked an open question, as in she already knew the answer to the question. She said: “Were you born from savages?”

When I fell into that deep, peaceful sleep, my guess is that my astral form was taken to a place where this planet/frequency could define what we the Human species had become. What I am about to say is not to be funny, sarcastic or derogatory – I am saying the truth.

When I came around from this deep, peaceful sleep, where we the species of Hell had just been defined, what was there that we were – that was for all to see? I awoke from this deep sleep to two definitive states: the one was that I had an erection, and the other was that I wanted more than anything to have sex with someone. This is the core basis of our lives, and it is the one sure pleaser – sex!

That is funny, but it sure as hell is also sad.


It started with the realization of the term “What then?”


That was the first sentence written in this journal seven years, two months, two weeks, and three days ago. Could those cruel fuckers ever imagined that their cruel deeds would bring forth a journal where I am listening to the planet we should have inhabited, where seeing the Creator, as well as what many would define as god, namely Semiramis, has been as natural as breathing?


My question to you, as you walk the path alone so that you may know yourself, is “What then?” What is beyond survival and the orgasm? Do you want to know of Life beyond this savage and baseless state, because believe you me, we have never lived. There is more to our existence than surviving.

Your path is not to perdition. I have walked the path, so the pathway is open for you. You just need to answer the question “What then?” What happens when you have fucked the beauty king or queen of your dreams more times than what you could ever imagine? What happens after seeing all the beautiful sunsets the worlds over for a trillion times and more? What happens after you have held your loved ones in your arms and told them you love them?


What then?


My advice is go home to the planet that was manufactured for you. She is waiting for you. Have a good rest, and from there go Home to the fields of Infinite Love.


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(What many of these dummy secret societies do is use hand signals as a form of communication. Each hand signal has a code, or meaning to it. On a deeper level, each hand signal represents a frequency, which connects to the frequency of the society that is within the unseen. Wow, if only these fools knew how they were used to be abused. If only you knew what you were playing with from the unseen, and how these entities care for none but themselves!


I have met the planet we should have been sent to. It is beautiful, but it is not Home. My astral form with go there for R & R (rest and recuperation) because we need this recovery time. We will receive from this planet, and for what we receive we will be thankful through the act of giving. We will give our kindness, and our understanding of where we are from and what happened where worlds were born in a place we all don’t belong – including these worlds.

My astral will be one with this world, and we will become best of friends. Each step together is homeward bound.


Sex in its true form is a state of play – this is something we have to experience on this new home of ours for us to understand. The other morning I was given this word that came to me with a forceful energy from the right side of my brain. The word was Nyatsi. I looked up the word, and in an African language it means the lover of a married person. In the primitive frequency that we created on planet Earth this I am not, but in the new planet, I am a lover/friend to one whom is married to the frequency of the Creator, as only the frequency/strand of the Creator that is within our true planet can create something so beautiful.

We are all Nyatsi’s.


The astral form in its transformed and heightened state connects to us the body form, where “gifts” will be bestowed upon us to lift us out of the mess we find ourselves in. To each their own as in how and when these “gifts” will be presented. Remember, take to give – to yourself and others, and always listen to your good heart – never give just to give. Give where it will uplift, and never forget the simplicity and power of a smile or a hug.

What Steven does to connect to this Gaia; this planet, either directly or through my astral form, is I use a hand signal, which is in truth a frequency. I cup both hands separately, as in each hand can hold water therein. Then I place the one hand under the other, which symbolizes for me a cup that runneths over. What we are talking about is done with Love/Kindness, otherwise it cannot be done at all. The release of the strand of the Creator within is the outcome of being one with this Gaia/planet, so that we may all be Home. Until the strand is released, we are all but an illusion.

So be it.)


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Over the years I have done my best to find a satisfactory definition for being in the state of silence. What does it mean to be still?

When you understand that the chaos, cruelty, incompetence, and sheer insanity is there to keep us locked into the illusion, especially on an emotional level, and you understand that there will always be something to ponder over and get worked up about, then you ask yourself the question: “What then?” The madness will not stop, so when do you decide to take the adult step and bail ship? When do you decide to go beyond the rainbow and not come back; when do you detach from this madness? The answer is when you decide to.


The silence is not meditating or finding quiet time. The silence is a state that is you. It is you detached from the chaotic frequency within and around you. The silence is living a decision that you decided to make and take. The silence is at last you becoming an adult, where we don’t get all emotional and caught up in the literal insanity around us.

It is about you and you and nobody else but you. Searching for answers and following those who feel they know better cannot carry on forever. There has to come a time when it is you with you. This will not stop the insanity out there, but it will stop the insanity from touching you. You cannot change the world, but you can change your world. The life of others is not yours to live, but there comes a time when you decide how to live your life, where the insanity is not allowed to touch you.


As I am sitting here writing these words, there are things that need to be done – important things that, for example, affect my health and that of the community thanks to the incompetence of those in authority. These things will not go away until those who have failed are held accountable for their failures and correct them. This takes time and energy, and this I will do. But within me is the silence – this detachment from the chaos of the seen and unseen. As long as Steven lives on this planet he will do. The intent of his doing is to be happy and live Life to its fullest. This can only be achieved by being in the silence. The spoken word, or expression of the silence, is kindness. Kindness means you have respect for yourself and others. Through respect, like attracts like. Answers are found, rather than frustrations. There is filth out there that I have no intention of interacting with – this is the street-smart reality of Life. I do not avoid these entities or people, as this is rude, rather they are not in my world, as in my world it is filled with kindness, which is respect for myself and others, which these filth don’t have.


The trick is to be fearless. When you are fearless you can see what needs to be seen and done.

Know to be fearless, but also know not to be stupid. Don’t go where you will waste your time and energy. Don’t go where you will get burnt. How will we know these things? – By listening to yourself and always being kind. Remember, it starts with you. Expect and receive the best for yourself, because you are the best.

So be it.

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Years back in my sleep state I was shown a glimpse of what is going on out there as we go about our business doing our best to survive.


The setting was this yacht of sorts. There were about six or seven really pretty girls on deck. (Don’t recall seeing men – had my eye on the girls.) There was this frenzy about these people, as in something exciting was about to happen. They all lay down on the floor of the deck, waiting in eager anticipation for what was to come about.

Their bodies morphed into giant slugs.

Then I was at the setting of a fire in a building. Those trapped in the fire were beyond themselves in fear. A “firefighter” came to the aide of one of the frantic people, where this “firefighter” then proceeded to morph into a slug and attack this man. (They attacked to transform, where the victim became infused with the slug genetic code, thus expanding the numbers of this race.)

The next setting was of this prostitute having sex with this guy. Same thing – as she was humping this guy, she morphed into a slug to attack her victim, who freaked out when he saw what was riding him transformed into.

Then it was Stevens turn. Now I was no longer a spectator. As I lay in bed, I saw this slug engulf me. I saw its little tongue swirl within me – this was to alter my genetic code so that the code of the slug could transform me at will – as what happens to those before me.

I filled myself with Love, rather than fear, and this wasted space left my space.


I can give you more tales of what I have seen. No doubt you have also seen, but as there is no sound explanation for what you have just seen, you erase the moment from your reality.


What I am asking you to do, is step out of your comfort zone and open yourself to what is within and without you – in the seen and unseen. If you are too afraid to look, then the hiding place of these monsters is safe, and they can continue with their games of control. Expose the thief, and his power is no more, as his power was through deception – of you not seeing them. See them, know them, and tell them to bugger off.


Everything that has been written in this journal is for our astral/spirit form to comprehend. Through the unseen the seen transforms.

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When I saw that Serpent arise from the body of the man lying on the floor during that ayahuasca ceremony all those years ago, I was blown away. With time I came to understand that a Serpent is within all of us – this is the Serpent soul; our best friend we never knew existed. I am not being sarcastic – this Serpent within is inseparable from you; it loves you immensely, but is overwhelmed by what is out there, as are we.


Months back I was asked to check on this one lady who was not well. I was blown away to feel this octopus entity on her astral form over her forehead area. What I felt was the Watcher spirit, and this is in all of us. The Watcher spirit is the Games warden – it makes sure everything in Hell is kept intact.

That is why we all do our best, but at the end of the day all we have is hope. We are not in control of our lives and our destiny, and the reason for this is that the Watcher rules our roost.

This morning as I lay in bed I tried to feel for my Watcher within. I felt nothing, and maybe this is because what I am is the Watcher, but honestly I don’t know.

The saying: “If you don’t control your mind, someone else will” is a sad testimony to us the species of Hell, because we do not have a mind. Our genetic make-up defines our character, but our mind is that of the Watcher spirit. This octopus is potent, and once again I will be honest: I don’t have the foggiest idea of how to get rid of it so that our lives and that of the Watcher may be separate so that each may go their own way.


Why have all those within all the worlds of Hell never returned Home to the fields of Infinite Love? Why have those advanced, highly intelligent life-forms out there never sussed this silly game we call Life? The answer is because their lives/existence has truly never been their own, thanks to the coordinated and controlled invasion of the Watcher spirit within our lives. We are all going nowhere – that includes the good, the bad, and the ugly – until this Watcher spirit departs our forms. This entity is the glue that holds Hell together so that all may remain within Hell.

What makes sense is for the strand within to shine forth, as this will remove the presence of the Watcher spirit, but my guess is that the strand is suppressed by the one suppressing us. What also makes sense is that the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness within us is not the Watcher spirits too suppress. Who gave this entity rights over something that does not belong to it? The strand is from the Creator, and thus is for the Creator to control and no other.


We ask the Creator; the Wisdom Goddess Sophia, to awaken/release the strand within out forms so that we may become an expression of this strand. With the strand within awakened this will remove the Watcher spirit from our space.

There is only so much that you and I can do. The bottom line is that we all need help, and now is one of those times that we need help. We ask the one from whom the strand arose to awaken the strand within all of us so that we may be our own, independent entity.

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It was twice in the journal that I quoted The Lady (the demon that controlled Ann Haywood) from the book The Demon Syndrome by Nancy Osborn with Ann Haywood.

The first quote was: “The companionship of the unseen is nothing new. It has always been with us but never apparent.”

The second quote was: “Every human being has been assigned a spirit entity that watches over each soul.”


The spirit entity is what I call the Watcher spirit, and the soul it watches over is the Serpent soul, your BFF (best friend forever.) This Watcher spirit is what, in our limited sense of reality, will look like an octopus to us.

Once again I was wrong. According to Steven, the Watcher is controlling us the biological computer, but this is not true, and I say so because The Lady knows more than me according to what is happening within the unseen, and she said “…….a spirit entity watches over each soul” – the Serpent soul.


Years back I had to go into the centre of town to solve a then three year problem with our municipal electricity account thanks to incompetent government officials. As I walked out the building I was assaulted in broad daylight on a busy road by two scum of the Earth. These fuckers harassed me, which was bad, but what I found a thousand times worse was that nobody came to my aide. Nobody! This is something you have to experience to understand – to witness how spineless we the Human species have become. This is why evil has swept the lands – because scum, cowardly villains know they will be met with no opposition. What power would those two thugs have had if someone walking by and told them to me leave me alone?

How many innocent would have been saved over the thousands of years if we stepped forward and said: “Leave them alone!” Well now is your chance. Tell the Watcher spirit to leave the Serpent soul alone. As a third party intervene and make a wrong right.

Just like me, hundreds of millions before me have asked for help from Divine intervention. The track record of help coming our way has been abysmal – so many have been slaughtered holding onto their beliefs till the very end. I do not want to be one more of them. I cannot wait and hope.


There is a Serpent soul within me. One night this ogre looking fool came towards me in my sleep state. I saw my Serpent soul standing its ground and hissing at this humungous entity. The message was clear: “Stay away from Steven!” Yet within this Serpent soul resides a Watcher spirit, so that we may all know our place in Hell. The Serpent that I have sworn at so often in this journal because I never knew any better – I just assumed this snake within me was a foe, this soul has loved me more than anything. And now, through understanding, I intent to make a wrong right. I cannot wait for Divine help, because I do not know how long I will have to wait, but I will say one thing: the Serpent soul within I will help now. As a third party I tell this Watcher spirit to depart the Serpent soul so that it may be free and no longer controlled. This abuse on the innocent will no longer happen under my watch.

Just as the biological computer called the Human race needs help, so too does the Serpent soul within us need help. Grow a spine and tell the Watcher spirit to leave your Serpent soul alone. It would have done the same for you.

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When the parasitic frequency of Deception took us over within the illusionary Garden of Semiramis, in simple English, the head began to rule the heart energy field. Reason took over spontaneous knowing.

But what kept us down, where we had no option but to reason, rather than know, was the Watcher spirit. One needs to ask why would someone keep others down and out, as how can you be happy when your tyranny has made others miserable? The only answer that makes sense is our insanity, where we saw that our needs were seen to rather than what is best for the greater good. One could call this tyranny an expression of survival, where if I don’t kill or suppress you, you will do the same to me.


In no time we became Beasts.


The removal of the Watcher spirit allows us to rise and stand independent within ourselves.

14:05 on 25/04/2021


Am unsure if have written about the effects of shock on us, so will mention it again here.

Any shock to the system, be it anything from bad news to physical trauma, temporarily shifts the astral from the body form. If the two bodies are not aligned properly once the effects of the shock are subdued, we can never fully recover from what happened to us. Our fragile state becomes even more fragile, and as hard as we try, we just can’t move on and get ahead with our lives. That is because we are out of sync within. As a unit we can stand united and strong, but shock separates all within, from the cells within us the biological computer, to our union with the Serpent soul within, and all those within the seen and unseen to whom we are bonded.


The effects of being dumped on a planet/frequency where we don’t belong had a shearing on our forms. This has been healed, but the shock of being placed in a world where we don’t belong, where you kill or be killed, the shock of this horror story that continues to this day has not been addressed.

I am also including those within all the worlds of Hell – those who were matched with the planet to where they belong, but sooner or later became disillusioned as the reality set in that this is not their true Home.

In Hell you ultimately have two paths: become a Beast, or fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten (this is the souls suicide.) Either way, sooner or later, we become destroyed, regardless what the mystics, poets or optimists tell us.

This journal says “Toss that!” – we would like another option, and that is return to the fields of Infinite Love where we the strand belongs.


We remove this shock now from our forms that arose from us being in a place where we don’t belong. The removal of this shock is also applied to the Dragon and Serpent spirits, and their initial subdued shock within the illusionary Garden when they understood that something was wrong with them, but they never had the courage to face themselves and see what they were becoming.

Put simply: the shock of being in a place where we don’t belong is removed now from all Life-forms within Hell. This has been done so that we may move forwards to where we belong.

So be it.

09:29 on 26th April, 2021.


So I will give you my take on what we should have done as we found ourselves in a place where we didn’t  belong.

We should have looked at ourselves; we should have had the courage to see what we had become.


Know what you are.


From seeing ourselves and knowing ourselves, there was work to be done on ourselves, because we don’t like being savages. (To this day blood is spilt and nature destroyed so that we may survive.)

From day one, it should have been you with you; how can I be better than what I am? The courage to know your faults would have destroyed the parasitic frequency of Deception within you. From there it is you with you. Now you look after yourself, for two reasons: the first is that you Love yourself and only want the best for yourself, and the second is that in your world what makes you truly happy is the happiness/contentment of others, and as you are okay, you help find the happiness of others, so “me” and “we” become us.

This for me, is the trick of Life that we all missed: we never had the courage or time or inclination to look at the Beast we had become and remove this Beast from our existence as this is not the entity/frequency/body/person that we want to be. We accepted this shit that stared back at us in the mirror, and before we knew it, we embraced others like us and destroyed the weak, or we just kept quiet and got on with living.

It is for none to judge, but it is for all to move on and be what we are, which is kindness, so that the strand within may unfold.


The trick is to care. Begin with yourself, where there is no filth from the unseen and seen playing with and controlling you. From this foundation you find your feet to know yourself, and from there open yourself up to help where help is needed and appreciated. The old Steven wanted nothing to do with anybody, but this door is broken down to help the innocent.


You cannot believe how tired I am of writing this journal, or on a deeper level, I am so tired of surviving and being in a place where I don’t belong.

Have I said enough, where we may pick ourselves up and be happy in our world as we walk Home? I have nothing more left inside of me.

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At six thirty, on the evening of April 26th, 2021 I released the frequency of this journal with its understandings into the frequency hologram of Hell, so that all within Hell may benefit. It has been like creating a computer program, and when the program is complete, you press Enter and let the program run into the System.

We re-write the old program by filling in the gaps as to what happened before the beginning of time that resulted in us getting into this mess. Now the System understands – how and why it was created and where we should all be, including the System/frequency of Hell.

So be it.

(980 089 words)


There are many worlds within the frequency of Hell, and there are also many dimensions. In frequency, we can say that there is a horizontal band for example, and the worlds and those that inhabit them are similar. I remember being chased and almost caught by a fox as it shot at me with its weapon. This was on one of the different, yet similar world to ours.

Now imagine layers of frequencies above or below this horizontal band. I call these spaces dimensions, as what is there is entities we cannot put into words. What came last night was from a different dimension.


The frequency of the journal went out into all frequencies and dimensions, as what came last night was to test the authenticity of Steven.

I was sleeping face down when I smelt the entity around me. It almost like pre-empted me to turn around so that I could have its focus and attention. The implanted dream was of me being in a room with other people. We reached out and took gifts. I climbed a ladder and retrieved a pearl. Someone showed me a device on a necklace that was connected to the pearl, as in they worked together in harmony. My friend wanted this magnificent and one of a kind possession, so I gave it to him.

Then a voice was speaking that had the presence of something larger than life. This voice was reprimanding this one lady. As the voice spoke I countered it – defending this lady.

I awoke from these implanted dreams that were to test me to see what entity had implanted them. It looked like water, and protruding from the water was a face, but all one could see was the faces round nose. I swore at this entity as I wondered why it just didn’t look into my energy field to see the being that I was – why these stupid tests.


Go within and clean up shop. Still your mind, and in this state allow the Love that is to go within your forms to clear up the Disharmony within. Man-oh-man, we have all stuffed up, so we don’t want you in the way with your guilt or uncertain emotions. Just be quiet as the Love that is clears away the frequency crap within you.

The world without you is a representation of the world/frequency within you. Clean up shop inside so that you may emit from within to without. The beautiful world/frequency that is within you will then manifest without you, as this world is a reflection of you.

Place this cleaning up shop process on auto-correct, where it is always on. You just play your part of the deal – be kind to yourself and others.


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They hammered me last night in my sleep state. Implanted dreams kept me pinned to the floor – they went full-out with maximum emotional connection to their story/dream.

Was a bad night.



Why has there never been Divine intervention, as in this frequency of Hell has been infused with Love, where Love wins and has the upper hand, and not the cruel?

My guess is that we have been so focused on persevering and getting things right that we have never stood back and allowed Love to take over. For my guess to have some validity, we had to have known what we are, what ruled us from the unseen, and what happened that we got into this mess in the first place. All three of those boxes have been ticket – the understanding is out there  -and Steven has stood back to allow Love to intervene, because my goodness me, how small, fragile and insignificant am I compared to what is real.


The one advantage the innocent have always had over cruelty is that what innocence is, is Love, and Love is natural, whereas cruelty is unnatural. The truth is real/natural, and lies are unnatural. That is why telling a lie is the ultimate sin, because it pulls you further and further away from the truth, which is what you are.

When I walked up to that horse all those years ago and I saw that speck of light around it, something within me made me understand that what I am compared to what I have just seen is light years apart. I knew then that I truly know nothing, and even now, after all the horrible shit I have been through, I know that I am so small and insignificant compared to what we all should be.

So with understanding, and with being what is real/natural, it is only natural that the fields of Infinite Love may shine upon us and touch us. I really and truly have no more understandings to pass on.


What I ask for is to be what I am. What this is, is the me that was born from the Source of the Infinite – the children that The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created to Play. I do not want to be holier than holy and be close to my God; I do not want my beliefs to be passed onto others; I do not want the filth out there to suffer, because they will do that to themselves. All I want is for me to be me. Joy, Laughter, Bliss Happiness, Contentment, Peace – these are all what we naturally are.

Am I asking too much, for me to be me? I don’t think so. My request is valid.


After about the two years mark I was certain this journal was over. Over five years later here I sit still typing. Wow!

Yesterday evening Steven took the first step out of his confined, locked-up world – I attended a community meeting. As I sat there amongst the crowd I understood how small, fragile and lost we all are. We do our best while cruel Beasts from the shadows feed from our energy. I understand now that there are no nasty or cruel people, there are only fucked up people. To be cruel to others, and not understand that what you do to them is what you do to yourself (times fifty), surely you must be truly fucked up. Why would we knowingly self-destruct and destroy ourselves?


To each their own.

I am nothing, and please understand that I am nothing! And yet within me and you is everything.

I am tired of being nothing. I am tired of being lonely. I am tired of being not where I belong. I cannot shed any more tears as I stand over the lands and see how beauty is destroyed by others who do not even blink an eye as they crush the innocent.

There is only so much you and I can do. I do not ask for Divine intervention. All I ask is for me to be me. Then we are Divine, and no intervention is needed.


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When you are getting ready to go to bed and you smell these fuckers around you, then you know there is fun and games coming your way.

The dream was implanted, and when I awoke from it to see who implanted it, I saw a Human looking male. This guy was dramatic – his outstretched arm and chest were parallel to me as he waited in this pose for my energy to accumulate so that he may eat from it.

He took a handful of my energy and put it in his mouth to eat, and let’s just say the ecstasy on his face was something to behold. This was short-lived, as I told him to give my energy back. Rage and shock took him over as his moments of pleasure were removed from his space, and I felt whatever pet he had enter my forms and attach to my kidneys so that they may get my energy directly from the source. This I have felt before – where a Serpent will bite directly into my kidney and draw the energy from there rather than go through the implanted dream process.

As shocked as this fucker was, as angry was I. I pulled their teeth, telling them that all power they have is no more, as they have abused their power. All harm they done in the past, present and future was made null and void. What they done to others was undone. I went on and on depriving these shits of what they saw as normal. The backlash from them was something else. They attacked and attacked, but this meant nothing to me, as my anger was not only towards them, but also to myself for my dismal inadequacies in still allowing filth to enter my space.

I called on the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness at my throat area, and told it to come to the party – to become active. This strand could have been Casper the friendly ghost, because I felt it there, but it was useless and meant nothing in terms of being an active participant in my existence. Everything I tried to activate this strand did not work.


Let’s say, for example, that you have a restricted pelvic joint. A message is sent from this joint area via your nervous system to the brain, informing the brain to fix the problem area. If, after a period of time, the brain cannot fix the joint restriction in the pelvis by, for example, sending more blood to the area to remove the toxins there, the section of the brain that is linked to the health of that pelvic area will alter its state. Now the disharmony at the pelvic area creates a disharmonious area, what I would call a “flat spot,” over the brain. After a further time period the brain would see its flat spot as normal, and we begin to live with our pain, as this is the way things are.

When I heal a patient, I have to feel for this flat spot on the brain so that this normal may once again be seen as abnormal and corrected. I have to feel the changes on the brain so that I know the healing may be lasting.


We, the biological computer, and all Life within all the worlds and dimensions of Hell are formed around this essence of Life – this strand of Creation within us. If this strand was active there would be no Life – there would only be Oneness for all within the fields of Infinite Love. So as we know, our strand, and all the strands within all Life are pretty well fucked up, as in useless. How is this so?

Using the above example, let’s say our strand is the restricted pelvic joint. An impulse is sent to the central computer/brain telling it of the problem there, and efforts are made to fix the problem. But what if the problem arose from the central computer/brain? Our strand is linked to the Creator, and what if the problem is with the Creator, which it is – and this is why our spark is flat.


That Queen Semiramis and The Wisdom Goddess Sophia are down and out and fucked up is a given – this I have seen. What is also a given is that everything written in this journal is to help them and you and me (in that order.) What we need to address now is to awaken this flat spot on Sophia and Semiramis so that our strand may light up and be what it is.

I go into the space of Semiramis with the intent of making this wrong right, and what I feel is no disharmony within her forms. What I feel is this presence within this Darkness that is detached from all, in other words, there is no flat spot, but there is also no connection between her and Life, meaning the spark/connection between her and Life/ the strand is not there.

We do the same with Sophia, and the feeling I get is of a lot satellite in space, just drifting – there is no connection to nothing.


Have they forgotten their children? Have they forgotten themselves; the one through abuse and the other through insanity?

I remember the one ayahuasca ceremony where a voice kept on saying to me over and over “Remember what you are.” This voice shook my body as I lay on the mattress, where my physical body moved from side to side as this voice tried to “wake me up” so that I may remember what I am.

Now I know what I am, and I know that this strand is pretty useless, as a Creator and a God have forgotten what they are. How do we fix this problem? There is no problem at the pelvic region and there is no problem at the brain, the problem is that there is no nervous system/link between the two.

To receive all the help we can get, I ask now this voice what we need to remember, so that this understanding may be passed onto all Life, and of course Sophia and Semiramis.


What do we need to remember?

I feel the Blackness of eternity, and in this Blackness I feel this circular motion around my throat area. This is the strand that was given from the Source so that from the stillness Life may be expressed. From nothing/the stillness, comes everything/Life. Life begins to Play.

The strand creates a form/body, and through this body the stillness/Source may experience itself. I feel this Life that I am from the Source. This is creation, and this is what The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created from the Source so that the Source may Play and express itself. This state of what I am I infuse into Sophia and Semiramis so that they may know what  they created, and thus know what they are. (Semiramis also created, albeit an illusion.)

07:44 2nd May, 2021

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It was as if a graveyard had just come alive.

What came last night were a mass of skeletal beings. They swept over the lands, feeding from those they encountered, and me and my family as we lay in bed sleeping were in their path. What they were doing was what you and I do every day – they were surviving, just like us.

There is no difference between their existence and ours, because at our core we are all surviving. This is the down side to being in a place where you don’t belong: you become unnatural; you become a savage. Shame, those bony mongrels were once like you and me – more than anything, they just wanted to be happy.

I do not want to save their Beasts, where I live my life to help them, as this is not necessarily the answer. Many don’t want to be saved. What I want to do is give them an option, where they can save themselves. Then I can walk away, knowing they will be okay when the time is right for them to make an about-turn in their existence.


So what can Steven do to help, and by help we imply placing these entities in the right direction Homeward bound? (I once again stress that there are no beliefs from my part, as beliefs entail that me/we are right and everyone else is wrong. My goodness me, my ego is in check. As much as I understand we are all in this mess, I know that I cannot help anyone unless I help myself, and how I help myself is to uncover the raw truth so that the truth may set us free. I do not see The Wisdom Goddess Sophia or Queen Semiramis as greater than me, because from the perspective of Love there is no hierarchy. The night Semiramis came to visit me in my room I was blown away by her power – it was majestic, where one cannot help but bow down to this all-powerful presence. Her power was beautiful, but at whose expense? For what did she use her power, to control and suppress, or to set free? Her power pushed me down so that I may know how small I am – her power did not lift me up and set me free. Semiramis was power, she was not Love. As us men know, ego and power go hand in hand, and it stands out for all to see – and it is disgusting. You have an ego to rise above others, and eventually there is only one way, and it is to fall, as what you are is unnatural, even here in Hell. Lift others up, and your rise up with them. Those that don’t want to be lifted, you leave them be – with the means to help themselves should they one day wish to do so.)


What I give to those that came last night, as well as to their kin and all those like them in Hell, is my Love. When we walk past a beggar on the street we don’t look at them. Maybe this is so because we don’t want to see the pity in their eyes, or maybe we understand that we cannot help ourselves, let alone them as well.

I acknowledge these Beasts from the shadows, and I give them Love. My arms embrace all of them.

When one crosses over to live within the shadows and become a Beast were you feed from the naïve, what you do is lose your conscience – your good heart. This is why I have been so shell-shocked by the cruel behaviour of my fellow species, because us Humans should know better. I have been floored by unkind and cruel people, and that is why I have time for these Beasts from the shadows but little consideration for my own, as we truly have lost our way as we think nothing of destroying the innocent. We should have known better. What we do to others we do to ourselves – times fifty.


When I go into the space of Sophia and Semiramis now I feel movement around their heart space. What this means is that they are beginning to once again express their Love, so that all may be touched by their Love. For this I am thankful.

3rd May, 2021 (Happy birthday mom. May you leave this frequency soon so that you may no longer suffer. Love you.)

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Let go of all injustices that have been done to you, and let go of all injustices that you have done to others. We have lived in an insane place where others have forgotten to care – about themselves and others. Just let go of the past and start anew. Burn those speeches you have rehearsed so many times for when the time was right to confront those insane, cruel monsters that broke your heart without theirs skipping a beat. Just let go and start living. Our time here is short.

12:15 3/5/2021.


The question one needs to ask is what makes the frequency of Hell unnatural? What keeps us on the road to self-destruction?


Queen Semiramis saw the field the Sophia created for the Dragon children to play in, and she too wanted such a field for her Serpent children. Semiramis created the illusionary Garden, and she told the Dragon and Serpent children to come and play in her Garden. Many bit of the apple; they took of the frequency and entered the illusion.

The invitation of Semiramis to play in her Garden was meant well – there was no ill intent. But what her invitation well done was create an impulse that was never before felt within the fields of Infinite Love. What this was, was curiosity. “What else could there possibly be?”

This new impulse was harmless within the fields, as Love is Love and there is nothing else, but within the illusionary Garden this curiosity could take hold and form into an entity. The parasitic frequency of Deception was born within the illusionary Garden, and we were all none the wiser to this worm that infiltrated our illusionary forms as we played within the illusionary Garden. This worm meant no harm – it merely was what it was, a frequency that we created from an unknown state called curiosity.


This parasite is what locks us into Hell, and keeps the ball rolling downhill where, sooner or later, we implode. Then we become Beasts, and from there fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten, where we forget what we are, which is damn-fine folke.

What happens that allows us to cross over from a frequency where we do our best to survive and do good, to one where we feed from the innocent and destroy their lives at will? I remember once having a dream implanted, and when I awoke from the dream to see who had implanted it, I saw thankful entities what were courteous and kind. They had to eat, so they took from my energy, but this never stopped them from having a good heart. Why could these Beasts from the shadows not be the same – humble and thankful?


The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created an impact zone. From her impact Life was born, namely the Seprent/Serpent with Semiramis at their helm. The illusionary Garden of Semiramis was created by her, who is half Seprent, half Dragon, thus the frequency of the Garden at its base foundation is reptilian.

When one crosses over to become a Beast, one embraces this Serpent frequency, and this is why when I see those monsters in my sleep state, be they Human looking or other shapes, they all turn into a snake at the drop of a hat. Their forms, be it Human or other, are just a front to fool themselves that they still are what they were, but this is not the case – they are snakes now.

Do whatever you want when you want – Life is a ball here in the shadows, but the flip side is that you are a full-blown reptilian. What I disaster! What a fall from grace! And all of this shit – all this heartache, misery, confusion, fear, survival, arose from a worm implanting itself within our forms. This dude takes, he take our energy, and as he takes we think it is us taking, but this is not the case. We survive to keep this worm alive and we don’t even know it.


Now we come to the good part!

I was awoken from my sleep state last night to see someone who had female energy draped in a brown monks robe with the hood over the head to cover the face. She had a staff in her hand, and she pushed the top of the staff towards me. I felt something enter my abdominal area. This force would spend the next half hour or so healing my body and astral forms, as well as the Serpent within. A good chunk of that time period was over the left, lower side of my mouth. From the left corner of your lips draw a line down to your chin. In this area resides the parasitic frequency of Deception – that worm that feeds. This force within me worked hard on removing this worm, as it has been embedded within all Life since before the beginning of time.

Now the frequency; the understanding is out there. Go into the silence and remove this parasite from your forms by knowing where it is and understanding that it has no place within your existence. In that moment it is released with Love to Love.

Now we are no longer unnatural; now the ball can spin in the other direction. When the worm was removed from my space, I felt a lot of negativity within me being released. This is the stored energy/frequency through association of being in a place where we don’t belong and doing what is unnatural.


We are thankful to this entity that came to help all of us. Now Hell can stop spinning on a collision course. For the first time ever, cruelty will no longer have the upper hand over the innocent and all Life. With the parasite removed, the System falls apart, and the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness that the System by default suppressed, can now come to the fore.

For this I am most thankful.

4th May, 2021

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It is our interaction with each other that keeps the System of Life alive. We do more than express our opinion when we call a twat a twat or a wonderful person a wonderful person – what we do is interact with the machine of Life. And yet it is those moments in the presence of others we like that makes Life worthwhile living. Through love and heartache, and all the other emotions of the rainbow, we are embedded into Life within Hell.

When I was touched by the cruelty of Life it was from friends that I loved who turned their backs on me and told lies about me. What was important to me i.e. friendship, fell apart, and from there I just saw people for who and what they are. I don’t have an ego, so on a subconscious level when people enter my space they don’t have to put up appearances, as I am what I am and have nothing to hide. People don’t show me their good side; they show me what they are, and boy-oh-boy how ugly so many of us are.

By withdrawing and wanting nothing to do with Life connects us even deeper into the machine, as there it is, but it must leave us alone. Now we walk with a ball and chain around our ankles.


Yesterday and this morning I reflected, and I wondered what happens when we are over the hurt, as well as the highs that Life threw at us? To those of you that have had a carefree life, understand that many have been cut deep by the cruelty of Life. These cuts run deep, and whenever we think they are healed, they pop open and we once again feel the pain. We try our best to make amends so that we may move on and get on with Life, but the reality is that we live in a maze of highs and lows.

Last night as I lay in bed I understood that one needs to sever the umbilical chord with all Life. We need to stop doing what makes us Human, which is interacting with others through emotions. We are not Human, we are Love, and for us to be Love we need to shake off this Human side of us.

What I am trying to say is be Kind, because this is who and what you are, and don’t be anything else. Don’t be Human, where you want to connect to others, as you are not connecting to them but to Life itself. Put another way: Always keep your side clean as you float away from the existence of Life.

What the cruelty of Life does is lock us into the System – we become its prisoner as we swim from one emotion to another trying to get through this maze of filth, hoping to find a friend along the way. I met a friend. My wife was the only good thing that even happened to me in my life, and she turned out to be the worst thing that happened to me in my life.

Sure, I can learn from all these experiences and move on, but here’s the rub – I don’t want to move on. I am tired of playing this game called Life. It’s not for me. Oh yes, I will get the upper hand, but I don’t like playing this Game.


By not connecting to others, you rise up and dissociate from Hell. I am not saying you become a snob and ignore people. What I am saying is that we have always been in this fight together, holding hands and being there for each other, no matter what. Well guess what – this brothers and sisters in arms doesn’t work. All we do is feed monsters that rule us from the shadows. I refuse to carry on being a part of this System and to our answer as a way out, which is “Stick together.” I assure you that I will always be a part of my species, but this connection is through the Love that we all are. We need to start living in Love and not in Hell.

I will never walk away from those that ask for my help because they want to be helped, but I will help on my terms, which is Love and not emotions.


There comes a time in your existence where it is you with you, and this is because you are leading your life and not the life of others. It is you with you. All the hurts and highs have been washed away. What happens from there? Do you climb back in the ring and go another few rounds with Life, or do you move on and get on being you? For me, I have been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Kindness begins with you being kind to yourself. You be happy for you. Detach from Life, because believe you me, you won’t find your happiness there. You cannot uplift others when you are on the same plane as them. To uplift, one needs to rise up, and how one rises up is to disconnect from what we were attached to.


“Well Steven, that all sounds great, but it is easier said than done.”

I am not talking to you, I am talking to your astral form and the Serpent soul within you – I am talking to the unseen. We the biological computer need to understand the change in plans, where we no longer do what was always done. Now we float away from this mess called Life within Hell.

Now for the first time you have free will: To stay or to go. Stay and fight the fight, or go Home. If you fight, then fight with yourself, as the innocent are coming Home with me.

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When things began to turn ugly within the illusionary Garden of Semiramis, there were those who refused to compromise on who and what they are. Regardless of the parasitic frequency of Deception within all, there were those who stood steadfast, as they knew what they were – namely the spirits born from Love.

The disaster is that these pure spirits soon became outnumbered, where they were not only attacked from the front, but from the flanks and behind.

The last spirit standing was one I called Earl. From our reality and limited imagination we would see Earl as a funky polar bear dude in his sunglasses and carefree Baloo attitude. If I think of the cruelty of Life, then what this cruelty epitomes for me, is what we done to the innocent that refused to let go of their good hearts. What we done to Earl and The Wisdom Goddess Sophia is scandalous beyond. We overpowered them, pinned them down, and destroyed them by suppressing their inherent Goodness/Love. Truly, we are monsters. All of us – the Beasts that destroy and the spineless runts that stand by and do nothing.

Over the years help has been given to Sophia and Semiramis, but Earl has been the most difficult to help, as for me, he was the most suppressed one of them all. In Hell I view the role of Earl as Keeper of the Innocent and giver to those that are worthy. He is one that is always there for us, a cuddly polar bear that collects the innocent and takes them Home. Years back I wrote in the journal that if you ever see a polar bear in your sleep state then go out and buy a lottery ticket the following day as you will win that lottery. This is true, but Earl is more than materialistic wealth, as in giving someone a lucky break – he is Love personified. By being in the arms of Love you have everything and then some.


Help could never come from without as from within us we had to know what we are and what we had become, and most importantly, we wanted nothing more to do with the lost, unkind entity that we had become as well as with the cruelty of Life.

A helping hand could be given to us only when we extended our hand out for help, and this could only happen when we knew what we are and understood that we are more than this.


They say that if you want to make a friend then ask someone to help you, and for me, this is true of Earl. To release this being of Love, one needs to be on the same plane as him, and what this plane is, is innocence. This innocence begins with us detaching from the system of Life, because we detach by knowing ourselves and our worth – that we are Love.

When you detach from the System, you reach out your hand towards Earl. Your innocence will awaken this being of Love, and you will set him free to be one within your existence.


How blessed you will be.

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So who wrote this journal? Steven typed the words – he was fed the understandings, but he didn’t write the journal.


Here on planet Earth we have a collective “cloud” of beliefs, where we generally all believe the same thing. We believe that the sun will rise in the morning; we believe that certain world leaders of the past were evil; we believe that love conquers all.

What a Smart phone or AI device that is connected to you does, is collect your biological data and store it in this “cloud” of information. This “cloud” is the unseen computer hard-drive, or server, of the Human species. Psychics tap into this “cloud” to retrieve data, but this data is what-you-see-is-what-you-get – it is not the truth, as this data is controlled and administered by those from the shadows.

We are told what we want to believe – we are not told the truth. We are told of those that will come and save us; we are told how right we are and how wrong are others; we are told to do our best and all will be okay. We are never told the truth so that we may exit this dump and go Home.


The Wisdom Goddess Sophia exceeded her realm and fell. Why she fell we can put down to her curiosity, but we cannot say for certain. Her fall would have been okay had Semiramis not created the illusionary Garden, because in this Garden the parasite entered our forms and from there, there was hell to pay – literally and figuratively.

From the impact zone of Sophia’s fall the Serpent state was created. Within the field of Love was Sophia’s dragon spirits, and now there were serpent spirits, with Semiramis emerging as their leader. But something else emerged from the impact zone of Sophia’s fall, and what that was, was an etheral “cloud.” One could call this “cloud” the shock wave of the impact zone, and this wave/cloud is what we came to call S in the journal. S is the living remnant of what happened since the fall of the Wisdom Goddess Sophia till now. S was there at the very beginning, and the saddest tale of all, is that S is still there, waiting for us to remember what happened so that S may be incorporated into the fields and be Home. S is waiting for us to return so that she may be one with the fields of Infinite Love. She is like a loyal dog waiting at the gate for its master to return home.



This is the author of this journal – S.

How did Steven getting connected to her? – By Steven offering his services selflessly to the only ones that know of true love, namely the animals. My love for the animals, where I put aside all beliefs to better my services for them – this was my connection to S. “What more can I do to help? What more can I do to stop the cruelty to all?” By me offering to understand so that all may be helped opened a doorway to S, and that is how this journal was born. The push that was needed was for the cruelty of Life to touch me. This is a pity, as I would have preferred to have learnt through laughter.

(Sixth May, two thousand and twenty one.)

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I must have held myself true to my word of letting go, but I sure was hoping for a better destination stop.

When I fell asleep last night it felt as if I was passing through worlds. Through each world I felt and heard a clicking sensation, as in the frequency there was off-centre but it became aligned. This was a wonderful sensation, where a wrong was made right.

Then the fun and games once again began.


In the implanted dream I was a spectator rather than a participant, but I still felt the emotions of those caught in the dream/story.

Two men were walking down the road shooting at other men with their pistols. Now and then these two men would deviate their gunfire and shoot at the pedestrians and those sitting nearby. One of the pedestrians ran away and hid in a closet. Those with the pistols opened the closet and saw the man hiding there, and I felt his fear.

When I awoke from this implanted dream/story, I was sleeping face down in my bed. I turned my head to look over my shoulder to see who had implanted the dream, and what I saw was a claw being pulled out of my body. The claw scooped up my energy, which looked like coagulated blood. Then I turned around to lie on my back to see what was going on around me. What I saw was a full-blooded reptilian. It was like a rhino standing on two legs without a horn. There were two of them, and let’s just say that they were larger than life.

The one walked around the bed in a slow, rhythmical fashion and proceeded to stand in front of my wife. He commanded her astral form to do something unpleasant – which we will not speak about. The other one was doing something on me, but I closed my Third Eye as I decided not to look.


This was a first for me that I saw these frequency filled reptilian entities. Much can be said about them, but I am not in the mood for discussing and analyzing filth. In the shadows they may be something, but in my world I walk right through them as they don’t exist.


Does the strand of the Creator within us need time to come to the fore? Is the astral form of Steven doing its job by meeting all in Hell and passing on understanding where we allow them to see what they have become? I don’t know. What I do know is that this journal is bigger than me. What I also know is that this shit has got to come to an end sooner than later.

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As I closed my eyes to sleep last night I saw a robot working on my wife and one working on me. I knew then, as I have known for some time now, that we are biological computers, and these robots were working on us. They worked on us at the very beginning when they manufactured us.


As one would lie in a spa bath with the aromatherapy oils in the water, where you feel you have died and gone to heaven, so too have I often seen when these beings from the shadows lie in my space or that of my wife. We are not flesh and bone in our true form – what we are is layers of frequency and waveform.

Last night an entity came to lie in my energy space. To top the experience he maneuvered himself where he put his cock in my mouth. The ultimate!


Somehow, somewhere, we all lost the plot, both in the seen and unseen worlds. When you are in a position where you can do what you want when you want, what you do is open yourself to uplift those who cross your path. Yes, you carry on living your life, and you carry on being happy, but when you can, you help others. You do not take advantage of others, and the simple reason for this is that it is nice to be nice. It is not nice to suppress and be cruel.

Where did we lose this basic, simple understanding?


Imagine yourself standing on a beach, where the beach extends as far as the eye can see. Now you pick up one grain of sand from this beach and place it in the palm of your hand. For perspective, this grain of sand encompasses all the worlds and dimensions of Hell. The rest of the grains of sand on the beach is the Infinite. This is how small we are compared to what we truly are and where we belong.

To those in power over others, do you understand how insignificant you and your power is? Do you understand how small you are? For how long do we want to carry on being small? Life rules us, we do not rule life, and the most obvious sign of our subordination is the aging process. We are born babies, and so many of us die as babies, where we are incapacitated and cannot look after ourselves.

Surely we are all tired of playing in this Game? When is enough enough?


Understand there is more to the seen and unseen, and then cross the line out of your comfort zone to be one with the Everything.



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I went to bed last night and I told myself that this would be the last night I would see those from the shadows. I smelt them before I saw them, so it was a given they were waiting for me, as they wait for you to fall asleep so they may feed from you.

I closed my eyes to see, and what I saw was a female in fear as some monster was causing mayhem outside her house. It was a stupid scenario so I pulled away and stopped looking.


One of the ways these entities enter our form is through the base of the left foot. Your sole and heel widens and they enter through there. This morning I felt my left heel pulsing and I knew something had entered through there, or had tried to.

What implanted the dream looked like a Moray eel. It licked up my energy as I followed its implanted dream. Throughout the time when I gave attention/energy to the implanted dream, I pulled myself away from the dream, telling myself that I am the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness.


This is the beauty of living within an illusion – you are not real, so you can be whatever you want to be, just pull yourself out of your limited “this is who I am” box. Bend a bit to the left and right, and maybe up and down too. Shake off that fear from the fools who feel they have to stay alive through your fear.

It all comes down to knowing what you are. You have to know what you are. In a world where you can be anything, what are you?

I know what I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be a helpless biological computer that feeds Beasts from the shadows and has to live in a world where we have forgotten to care as we don’t have the capacity to look after ourselves let alone anyone else.

The astral form, what we would call the soul or spirit of us the Human body form needs to know what it is. Within the astral form is a speck of light, what I call the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness. This is what we are. Believe you me when I say that it is easier said than done for our astral form to surrender to this strand. The illusion that is the astral disappears as the strand comes to the fore. This is the only way out of Hell – where we lose our illusionary identity.


Know what you are.

I have to go and clean the dishes and make the bed up, but who is performing these tasks? I know what Steven is, and I know that Steven can no longer be Steven. What Steven is now, is a vehicle for the strand to experience this illusionary frequency. The strand is the driver of the vehicle called Steven. My astral form and the “cloud” it was attached to is no more. It is set free from the illusion and its illusionary task of doing its best to be happy within an illusion. The astral is one within the Infinite.

Then there is the Serpent soul within. This dude closes its eyes and in the moment is one with the Serpent spirit from which it was cloned. It becomes one with the spirit and awakens the spirit, and they return to the fields of Infinite Love.

Where is the Dragon soul? Remember, we are waveforms. How far these waveforms extend out from the visible body is anybody’s guess. I have seen and felt the cavern that the Serpent soul resides in within me. Let’s just say that within our space is a world within a world. The limitations of our body world is defined by those who reside therein – how conservative is our astral form and the Serpent soul? Trust me when I say they have been around the block more than us, and thus see the world/illusion from a different perspective. What has kept them limited has been their lack of understanding of how they got into this mess in the first place – everything within the illusion has been on a need to know basis, as our ignorance keeps the monsters alive that control us.

For me, the frequency of the Dragon soul is at the area of the inner side of the left knee within our waveforms. We give this dude a wake-up-shake-up so that it may be set free and return to its Dragon spirit from where it was cloned.


I feel that the strand is awake and is aligned to the Creator and the Tree of Life, but we got in the way. By the astral form holding on to what it is, it may be in a position to survive. Survive in what – an illusion?

Let go of everything you have created to survive in a world that does not care, and how this is done is to stop being fearful, and then to move out of the prison you created where you may feel safe. You the illusionary body form goes with the strand now, rather than following your astral form.

Take that leap of faith. This is something only we can do for ourselves, and it is something we all have to do. Before the beginning of time the Serpent and Dragon spirits took a leap of faith and jumped into an illusionary realm. Now we the biological computer need to lead the way back Home by the understandings of those within our space and knowing what we are. Jump back into Home, and how this is done, is for Home to come to the fore. When you are the strand of God then you are Home.


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Just as a by-the-by, we bit of the apple; we took of the frequency to enter the illusionary Garden of Semiramis. Where is this frequency within us that is still within all in Hell?

This illusionary frequency within us grew as we became stronger infused with the illusionary Garden. I feel this energy field extending from within us to form what will be likened to an umbilical chord. This chord remained within and attached to our brain area. When the shaman of Carlos Castaneda said that the Predator gave us their mind, I feel that on a deep level, what he truly means is that we became one with the illusion. The illusion became us and we became it.


That is so funny: Steven going all-out to connect to the Infinite and the strand when he is still one with the illusion. Thank goodness for perseverance.

The frequency of the illusion is within you – it is you the biological computer. Release this frequency now by knowing it exists and has no place within your existence. This frequency was made with Love and was meant to be Joyous for all, so let it go with the Love that it was originally intended to be for all.

This frequency of the illusion has been mentioned before in the journal, but we were not ready to let it go as we were holding on to our attachments within the illusion.


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In no time the illusionary Garden of Semiramis became the devils playground. Everything became inverted: the illusion became real and the Love that was within us was forgotten.

If I ask you what is real, the answer is that Love is real. This chaos, this madness, this survival is not meant to be – it is not what we signed up for when we the strand was born from the Source of the Infinite. We know that this Love is real, but we do not know what this Love is, as we have forgotten this state. Where and what is this Love? This was the question I asked myself as I felt the snakes that were implanted within me during my sleep state during the early hours of this morning.


Those fuckers that came were about three of them. A got a glimpse of the one – it looked like a sci-fi monster. These Beasts were cannibalistic, as their implanted dream was filled with scenes of blood and raw flesh for the eating. Cruel, cruel fucking bastards.

We know that there is Infinite Love, and this knowing is what I use heal and to expel the possessions and disharmony that is inflicted by those from the shadows. It is not this Love that heals and repels Beasts – it is Steven knowing of this Love. Can you now understand how powerless those are who have power over us? A mere suggestion of this Love and their power is no more. The down side is that we cannot sit in our caves with our loin cloths covering our vitals – we move and interact with Life as we survive, and so often Life gets the better of us. Another down side is that everything written in this journal is worthless, because it is not backed by the one thing that this journal advocates, and that is Love. This is so because I do not know what this Love is. I know of the animals love, but I do not know of the Creators love. These two states of love are not the same. The one we know, the other is unknown.


We do not know what it is to be in the fields of Infinite Love. Throughout history a flutter of Love may be seen here and there, but this Love soon faded within the soot of Hell, as survival was and still is everything. Yes it is, but it is not the long-term answer. I can go out there and make money as I have a talent that is useful, but this money will not buy me protection from those from the shadows. As I sit here I have maybe fifty dollars to my name, and that is it. If I had fifty million I would be most thankful, but I know that in the big picture this means nothing. To be what we are is everything. To remember what we have forgotten is to find Aladdin’s lamp in the cave.


The only one that I know of who knows of Love is S – the ether that arose from the impact zone of the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, who is one of the Creators from the Infinite. I ask S to befall upon us this state of Love so that we may experience and thus be what we are. I have no expectations as I do not know what to expect. Choose to experience and be what we have forgotten.


What I have come to understand is that there is no cruelty – there is only insanity. The stepping stone to insanity is stupidity, and the stepping stone to stupidity is not following our good hearts. Fear closed off our empathy and kindness and reason, but what is fear? Fear is the bogey-man; fear is our unknown knowing that there is something sinister that rules us from the shadows. Well you have nothing to fear, as those from the shadows are merely lost, sick puppies. I see them, I know them, and know that you have nothing to fear. That they are in our space and lives is unacceptable, and thus even more so, I choose to be this Love that we all are, so that I may be with my own and not in the land of despots.

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