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Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

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Last night as I slept I saw the Golden Eye of the Infinite. It turned to its purple colour, and then for the first time, I saw this purple eye move, where it came towards me and settled over me.

Then during the night I saw and felt the most destructive and powerful evil presence that I have ever experienced in my over ten years of seeing and experiencing the unseen. There was no way I could have known of, approached, and removed this presence from anothers existence without the presence of the Infinite touching and guiding me.


There is no doubt in my mind that the Infinite has touched my existence, and thus this All-presence is touching you as well – all of us in the seen and unseen of the illusion.

And just like that, this journal comes to an end.



(10 years, 2 months, 3 weeks of writing on a full-time basis. Take away the 0, and it’s 1,2,3. Add up the 24’s and it’s 6,6,6. That number in its original text was Good – it was inverted and used as Evil, as those that be knew the power of what they were dealing with in that number, where in the illusion they saw themselves as gods, and they were – the cruelest of the cruel that dwelled deep within the density of the unseen. Now they run; now they hide. May they have mercy on themselves.)



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With Infinite Love touching you and entering your space, nothing else may do so, what disharmony was within you is released with Love to Love so that you may be a vessel for nothing else but the Love that you are.

So be it.




What a cyborg is, is half Human, and half machine amalgamated as one. This is the future that would have touched you in your lifetime. Where did this concept come from? It comes from the spirit realm, where when you have the courage to look at what is there, you will see that you the spirit has portions of it missing from the constant onslaught  and abuse over lifetimes, where your energy/essence becomes less and less and you literally start to fade away. So you the spirit have elements of you missing, and this the cosmic geneticists need to fix and upgrade.

So you the would-be cyborg would have had this modification first and foremost on the spirit, and this would have been mirrorered on the dense body realm.


Take a look at the big picture and the Human cyborg would have been plugged into the digital Cloud, and the spirit cyborg into the machine that is the System of Life.


This future no longer applies to us, as what was missing within our forms is filled by the presence of Infinite Love.

So be it.




What Evil is, is not having a platform of peace within you, but rather destruction. Through destruction, joy is met.

When I say or do something, and it brings a twinkle to your eye, that brings me joy, whereas to those that are Evil, your pain – be it literal, emotional, or mental – brings them joy. This state of barbarism and Darkness combined has no platform and roots because it is unnatural – it goes against everything that should naturally be. And this is where your energy and mine were needed, because now the System of the illusion runs and is run by an entity that has no natural foundation.


What happens when the energy we emit can no longer sustain these Beasts in the seen and unseen? What happens when our energy can no longer satiate the power the System needs to survive, where your emotional release of fear and its subsidiary states now mean nothing to the Beast and the System?

The answer is one needs a different supply source of energy, and this is where your Consciousness and mine comes into play.


Why lockdown our planet? – To make people fearful so they will listen to what you want to tell them and make them do.

Why the fake Covid narrative? – To give them an answer to the problem you created, which was the lockdown and fake Covid scam.

So why inject the Human race? – To transform them, where they no longer are, and what you injected within them may reproduce and grow.

Okay, but why?


When I am in the presence of those that have had at least two jabs, I cannot stand within two to three metres from them without feeling the presence within them that is growing. What is within them is so unnatural that it forces me to keep my distance.

By 2030 you will own nothing and be happy. That is because you will no longer exist, where what they injected within you would have taken you over, and by “you,” we imply your Consciousness.


What they injected into the stupid is somethimg that will form around our Consciousness, and from there project the state/energy of Consciousness into the System of the illusion to keep it and the powers that be alive.

But this does not make sense, because the architects of the illusion could have placed Consciousness within the System to generate the turbines. But, you see, it is the Life-form created around Consciousness that emits the energy. So, like a parasite, what was injected into the stupid, this parasitic Reptilian entitity will take us the spirit and body form over, where we are alive, yet dead as well, because we will have no control over our body and spirit. It’s like you shouting at others for help but no one can hear you because of the glass window between you and them. That “glass window” will be the fully formed monster within you, who feeds from your suppressed emotions as well as your Consciousness, where now its true function as a transmitter kicks in, where your emotions tapped from you, as well as your Consciousness, is fed to the System.


You might say this has happened since before the beginning of time to us the slave species, and you are right, but now there is a new twist, where within you the spirit and body form is one who regulates the intensity of energy we release. The orgasm was the ultimate release of our energy, and this is, say 0.4%, whereas now our untapped energy can be hacked into and taken all the way up to one hundred percent.

We have been kept alive and at dummy status so that we do not rise above the System on our way Home, but now they need more of our energy to keep them the unnatural and their unnatural illusion surviving, hence the lockdown to impose the jab so that we may be taken over and parasited from in a way never done before.


And to those who say no and go against the new ways, forget it – you will be taken out in the blink of an eye.

I hear about ways to protect your wealth from what is to come and I laugh, where if you are not parasited from by a Reptilian entity within, you will not be here – you will be taken out.


With the Infinite shining within your space and that of the illusion, all of that changes.




Why do you get up in the morning? The answer is to survive.

So if you wish to transform – to be better than what you were yesterday compared to today, then you have to lose your survival mode status, where now you get up in the morning for a different reason, and what that is, is to live a remarkable life.

How this is done, is allow the Infinite to take you over, pick you up to uplift you, and from there lead you to experiences that are truly remarkable, be it the laughter of a child, or a sun setting, or witnessing a leaf fall from a tree.


Know that you have always survived in a Game where the house always wins; where the System is rigged for itself and not you.

Now go one better, where you allow the Infinite to touch and uplift you, where now you be this Love of the Infinite that you are. Now there is no System – now there is only the Infinite which we experience in this reality until it is our time to depart here.




What began to kill me the spirit and body form when I entered the Reptilian frequency of the illusion was the poison of the Serpent. I felt his poisen spread through my body and spirit when I was attacked by those that dwelled in this nest of cruelty, but I believe that when the disharmonious, insane Serpent took over to rule the illusion, its sheer presence spread this poison, where the mantle piece of the illusion that was Peace within was replaced by the poison frequency of the Serpent, and what this poison done, was turn natural to unnatural. (I became immune to this poison, where it didn’t/couldn’t kill me, but no doubt its presence and side-effects linger.)

It is this effects of being poisoned that we have to heal now so that we may rise up and walk to where we belong. And who is talking here is Steven, or should we say the impatience of Steven, because our poisoned states will heal as the presence of the Infinite becomes more within our existence, but for this I cannot wait as I am tired of being where I don’t belong.


Go within to the stillness of the silence to feel what being in the proximity of the frequency of the Serpent done to your forms, and what you feel is this expanded cloud of movement between your left knee and foot, and this is your bridge between you and the Infinite, meaning this connection what should naturally be between you and  Infinite is fuzzy – there is no clarity, so the communication between you and the Infinite is practically useless.

How we correct this, is removing the poisoned atmosphere of the Serpent from our forms by knowing it is there and has no place within our existence. This is done now, and I believe that so many skin conditions out there are from the presence of this Serpent frequency/poison within our state, where the denser the illusion becomes, the more this poison interacts with us and is felt.


To remove disharmony from our forms, we have to know what the disharmony is, where how can you solve a problem when you don’t know what the problem is in the first place. And so the layers of the onion are peeled away until all that is left is what should be, which is the Love/peace of the Infinite, and its off-shoots called joy.

What is felt between the left knee and foot is stability, which is a representation of the bridge between us and the Infinite.




The illusion is within you, and what the illusion is, is a bubble within the fields of Infinite Love – it is a minute air bubble within the Infinite Oceans.

You are Consciousness – this speck of Light from the Source of the Infinite around which all Life is created. So you are everything, and this means that within you is this bubble – this illusionary bubble.


Within you that is Consciousness is the illusion, and what we mean by this, is in your reality lies an illusionary bubble that has not been absorbed and become one with the Infinite.


My wife showed me her red eyes last night, and in assessing her, all I felt that I have not felt before, was this pocket of air within her forehead that extended into the eyes.

My youngest daughter has a sore throat. In assessing her now by going into her energy field to see if I can help, what I feel is this air bubble at her throat. (That bubble is the illusion within us the Infinite, and within that bubble is Disharmony.)


Take away the layers until there are no more to peel away, and what you are left with is the illusion within the periphery of you that is Consciousness. The question is, how could this bubble with so many worlds therein not be taken over by the Infinite? All this suffering; all this nonsense; all this unneccessary cruelty could have been avoided if only the Infinite popped the bubble of the illusion. Why did this not happen? This is bigger than free will, because it has never been my wishes/free will, or than of any innocent, to be touched by the cruelty of Life. So what happened? What happened, was the Reptile/Serpent/Dragon became trapped within an illusionary realm that the Infinite could not touch and set free, but how?


Did they betray themselves – did they feel they betrayed themselves, thus not being worthy to be who and where they are and belong? There is one thing that this Steven cannot do, and that is accept from others payment for me helping them. Why is this so, because that is not normal, and what it does, is keep me isolated from others. And this is my greatest curse within, where as much as I want to help, equally important I wish to be left alone, where it is just me with me? Is this Steven talking, or am I picking up the base foundation of the Reptilians who refuse to go Home because they feel they are not worthy of Home?


This I believe to be true, but what could the Serpents and Dragons have done that they wish for more than anything to be left alone – alone/isolated from the fields of Infinite Love?

Whatever it is, it stops now, because we the innocent would like a place to once again call Home.


What did you do, or feel that you done wrong, that you are not worthy to receive the Love that you are from the Home where you belong? And this feeling this Steven knows all too well, where from others I cannot take, where I want nothing from them – all I want is to be left alone, and more than anything, this is what I wish for. Why?

Why be in a place where you don’t belong, surrounded by the cruel and the insane – why choose this place over the Infinite? This question needs to be answered by the Serpents now so that we may all once again be one with the Infinite, where this bubble within wherein lies the illusion may be popped.


Tell us your story my friends, and from there may you be free – may we all be free?


From the Serpent spirits the Serpent souls were cloned, and this was done to appease the want within the Serpent spirits that arose from the want of the Parasite within. The birth of the Serpent souls was for the Serpent spirits to know there is more than just them and their wants, where you return to once again Loving – most importantly, what you are, or in this case, what came forth from you.


But what happened, was the Serpent spirits began to attack and kill the Serpent souls, hence Queen Semiramis created the sphere spirit to house the Serpent souls, and sent this spirit off into the unknown to guard and protect this fragile and innocent cargo within.

And it was this act of jealousy and vindictiveness that has stayed with the Serpent forever more, where it feels it is not worthy to receive and walk amongst the fields of Infinite Love.


Do you understand that your actions were not your own? Do you understand the Parasitic wants within you made you not know yourself? Do you understand that you are forgiven by all, and there is no shame in your actions that were not your own.

So do what the Infinite asks of you, and come Home. Come out of your isolation, because we Love you, just as we have always Loved you.


And that is why, no matter how hard the Infinite tried to break down the walls of the illusion, it was the guilt of the Serpent that made them feel not worthy to return Home. Wow, that is sad.


If the walls cannot be breached from without, then they can be from within, where me this Steven Loves the Serpent to remind it what it is. And that is how this journal began, where I walked into the Reptilian frequency of the illusion to understand the Beasts that dwelled therein. I walked in with Love, and so too now, I walk out of the illusion with the Serpents by my side, where our Love meets the Love of the Infinite.


These Giants that locked themselves within the illusion, thus keeping the illusion intact, are now Home, and for this I am most thankful.




We lived in a pressure cooker, where it went from bad to worse, and why this was so, was because there was no release valve, where we were going nowhere except here, deeper and denser in the illusion.


You need to understand that it was personal – it was the Serpentile Gods with the Serpentile Gods. It was never about you and me – their shame for what they done to the Serpent souls floored them, and there was no ways they knew how to recover from this atrocious event. This is one of those situations where if you do not understand me, then take a back seat and go and fuck yourself, because your input is worthless because you do not understand me. But I will do my best to try and explain.


In the fields of Infinite Love there is no such thing as a mistake. There is peace, and from peace comes joy. This is natural, and this is all that there is, because here there is nothing to learn, where you merely be what you are, which is a child born forth from the Source of the Infinite.

Around this that is Consciousness brought forth from the Source, the Dragon Spirits were born. We know the story of the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and the rise of the Serpent Spirits. And it is with these, the Serpent Spirits, and their spokesperson/clan leader Queen Semiramis that the tale took on a strange twist. Understand one thing: Nobody fucked up, as in nobody. We were led to become what we were not by a force we never knew existed, which was the want to the parasitic frequency of Deception. This Parasite was not good or bad, it merely was – it was our acceptance or rejection of this within us that kept us Good or made us Beasts. And please understand, it was not the will of the Serpents to become Bad – it was a force/Parasite within them that they lost control of, where now, above all, I need to have; to fulfill this want within me.


Understand what was naturally this – this perfection/normal state, and what brewed and came forth – this want within you that takes you over. In both states there is an underlying Goodness, so when the Serpent Spirits attacked the cloned Serpent souls, the feeling within these Spirits was not to gloat in victory – it was utter shame, because it is not within us to be aggressive, let alone to our own.

This shame has never left the Serpent Spirits – until now, and as said, what this shame done, was not allow the Infinite to touch us, because now it is me with me, where there is no words to describe the angst within me of becoming the complete opposite in a moment to what I am.


To many within the illusion, they began to love this place, where the dumbed down stupid lived in the now and never for tomorrow. Like locusts we spread and took, and this we had to do to pacify this will to grow and learn, where through our expansion of knowledge we became more and Life became easier. What was missed was the touch of Love from the Infinite, because now within the illusion exalted ones were born, where in this madhouse I am queen. And so the mad led the mad, with one big dummy ruling over many smaller dummies, where our status determined our size.

Also understand that those that came to rule over this place, primarily the architects of the illusion, they never let the Serpent Spirits forget what they done. But it was not the Serpent Spirits – it was the want within them that took them over. When they snapped out of this want and saw what they done to the Serpent souls, never could they recover from their foul, yet unintentional deed.


This guilt and shame is no more – it is no longer allowed, and I say so because I will not allow it. As hard as I am on myself, I am hard on others, where the worst I can do is walk away from you, where I leave you to destroy yourself because this is what you want, where you are cognitively aware of who and what you are and have no intention of being anything else but what you are.

So if the Serpent Spirits fucked up, I would be first in line to wag the finger at them. But they did not. They did not destroy you or me after they felt shame – they destroyed themselves by denying themselves the right to return Home.

Others came over time to set us free and return us Home, but the stupid degressed to the spineless, where as long as you are attacked and fucked up, and I am okay, then I am okay. The dummy was born – the stupid and plus the spineless all in one.


These the Serpentile Gods absorb the Infinite and make it their own. You be Home where you belong. May a Queen and her Beautiful clan sleep in this night and forever more in the Home of the Infinite where they belong.

So be it.




The shame that was within the Serpentile Gods permeated all within the illusion, and by all – it was in all, from a pebble within a mountain stream to a star in the night sky. This was our weakness – our flat spot, and from here we went a topsy-turvy. For a long time, as in at least twenty years, I have known of a flawed line/frequency running through my body – this shame/disharmonious frequency that eminated from the Serpentile Gods. And I was right – within their realm was this pillar of Shame around which they would rest.

As I felt this pillar fall, so too did I feel the frequency within me this Steven fall away and become no more.


Now you know why the Infinite could never touch you – it was because of this Shame frequency that was unintentionally emitted from the Serpentile Gods onto all within the illusion. 




Was kept awake the whole night from what I saw. It is going to be a long day – am exhausted before the day has even begun.


Fell asleep last night and saw Beasts and Monsters around me. That didn’t make sense, because now we are beyond implanted dreams. Soon realized that what I saw was those who were departing my forms. For centuries have accumulated beings in the unseen, and these unknowingly remain within our space/frequency. Saw these creatures – what a crazy place this illusion is. What you smell, what you taste etc. in that are unseen creatures which you bring into your space that stay there.


Then I saw a man enter a cave in a starlight night. In the cave was this Gollum looking creature, and I wondered if Tolkien knew how close he was to the truth. Within this cave was a droplet suspended in midair. I wished to trace this droplet to see where it goes, hence I entered the cave. The walls of the cave were made of a white, milky substance. I waved my hand through the wall, showing myself that it was not solid. Then this Snake appeared from the wall, where it was one with the wall. This startled me, as I was already on edge in this strange place. And then from the wall came forth what looked like a Roman god with his chiseled face and beard. In rage he swung the weapon that was in his hand.


What was that all about? What was that droplet that I had to see too where it goes? Have I not had enough? This Steven is exhausted, where I am tired. How much more? Throw me a bone so that I may regain some strength.

That droplet was what made up the walls of the illusion. All our anger, all our hatred, all our shame and sorrow became stored in droplets, and these droplets formed the wall that is the great divide between the illusion and the Infinite.

It is a disgusting wall – a sickly, scary one. And that wall is one of the main reasons why Hell was encouraged to flourish – to keep the wall intact.

The fuck-up is that we did not know what we wanted, where Life became a roller-coaster of emotions.


I don’t understand why I needed to find that cave with the wall of the illusion therein so badly. That was the end of the line of the illusionary eye that housed the illusionary worlds, but so what? Is this the place where the Infinite needs to project its Love to remove this wall? That makes sense, and this is done now.

07:21 AM 29/4/2024




It was a world where you ran everywhere. You never walked – you always ran, and this was the natural gait. It was a world of everything had fallen apart. There I was, running with others through these long corridors of a building. Rubbish was piled up wherever you looked. Nothing no longer worked here, and this is the way it was.


As I lay in bed sleeping I woke up from this place, and there in our bed in front of me were about fifty pairs of eyes looking at me. The facial features was that of the main character in the movie Despicable Me, albeit these were the cartoon faces of children. Their whole demeanour was evil personified, and their hands were luminous green claws.

When I saw them I understood that I had just been to their world, so I turned around in bed to lie on my back to get a better look at these entities. My first, and only real question to them is why are they not in the fields of Infinite Love? I waited for an answer, as well as a glimpse of them, but neither came. As I waited, I felt the base of my left and right foot expand. Boy, I haven’t felt that for a long time. This was the Serpent entering my forms through the base of my feet. These fuckers are so huge the energy space of my legs have to expand to accommodate them.

Before I fell asleep for the night to witness the above, it felt like a worm moving on the right upper corner of my mouth. I didn’t know what that meant, but now I do – it was the frequency of this lost world that I was about to enter.


The Snakes couldn’t penetrate me, and my offer to show this lost world the way back Home was met with silence.


I think the next setting was a message for Steven. A man was standing at the edge of a road, where he saw leaves that were built up against the pavement. My feel was that this was a message to clean up my act. Stop swearing so much. And this is the truth.

This I never used to do in the past, but as Life unfolded, you witnessed what was. Hot diddly-dog, what a calamity that is! Those scoundrels; those no good ruffians!

It was fucked up, and that was it – it was what it was, and I said what it was. Nothing wrong with that, but I began to swear as that was Life bearing down on me, where now it’s just bloody well fucking tough.


That is not me. I am better than that, and to that I must return as we rise above Life. And I will.




There comes a time when you have to understand that this Game is not a pleasant one to play in and be played in. We are so fragile, and yet we believe we are invincible. We believe we got this, but we don’t.

Yesterday when I worked on this lady I felt her ethereal left foot rise up from the floor. What this was, was her decision to rise above this mess, where one is no longer in the cesspit.


What I am talking about is important. Stop doing and thinking what you have always done. Only you can break this commitment of you always being you, so make a commitment to stop now. Step out of your mould, because sooner or later you have to, so step out now before Life breaks you and your mould and you never fully recover.


What came last night as I slept was me seeing those that follow their stupidity and greed. We are all stupid, and to a certain extend greedy – some more so than others, and I say this as look at the proximity of where we are. I see the stupid because I too am stupid – when I don’t see them then I am not them.


So rise up. Rise up from where you were, as that place is no longer your home.




You go into the stillness of the silence. The world outside your dwelling becomes no more, where there is nothing there, as in it disappears. Now the dwelling you are in disappears. If you are sitting on a chair, that is no longer there, so all that is left is you.

Now you disappear, where there is nothing there.


In this state, where you are one with  it all, you expand yourself from side to side, where like a concertina, you stretch yourself to reveal the all of you, and there, in the recessess of what you are, you will feel and see what should not be. By knowing it is there, it cannot stay, and is released with Love to Love.


From there, you do a “pre-crime” analysis on yourself and those you Love, where you go into their future to make sure no wrong turns are made. There is nothing to learn – only to be and to Love, so head-bumping is not necessary.


Through all of the above, you the spirit and body form do nothing. It is you that is Consciousness that clears up shop and guides. You the illusionary spirit and body form fall away, as this is what illusions do, as they are not real, and what is left is the everything that is real. The illusion with all the worlds therein too becomes no more, and when the illusionary fog has cleared away, you that is Consciousness begins to play. From this the real you the spirit and body form is reborn/recreated, and this is what we mean when we say rise up – rise up to be lead by what you really are.


Begin on a blank slate, where you the spirit and body form now orbit your Consciousness.




There is something I am missing, something big. You don’t rule this illusionary realm for thousands of years and don’t get to master what you created. The System was made to be fool-proof, and that is why we have been trapped therein for so long.


So what is it? What am I missing?

Look, and then look away, and then look again, and you will see what is staring you in the face. If you wish to hide something, then hide it in broad daylight for all to see, and what they obseve they believe to be the norm – part of the furniture, but it is anything but.

What is there that we see but do not know what it is, where this in front of us commands and rules over us?


I see nothing, as in nothing is there, but look again. What do you see now?

I see a mirror, wherein I see myself, which is the Nothing from which comes forth the Everything. I am everywhere, so in everything I see myself, hence the mirror effect. But there is something about me that is not quiete right. So look, and see what is there that should not be. Look to see, don’t look to look.


And there it is – this large sphere that floats in front on me, to enter me and become one with me that is Consciousness. What is this? – It is a diversion to hide what is behind it that is real. So take away this sphere to see what we should see, and what you see is the walls of a cage – your cage and mine. What is this cage? It is an illusionary one, where when you look into the sphere you see you, but that is not you in your state of freedom.

What do you see now with the sphere/mirror removed -  this real you? From our intestinal area the Watcher Spirit was born – this Octopus looking creature that sat at the top our brains in its throne to control and regulate our wants. This is the puppet-master of us the spirit and body form, and this we were never meant to see – the one who rules over us and controls us. Haven’t you ever wondered who decides what comes yor way or not? – It is the Watcher spirit. How do we get rid of this entity? The answer is by no longer having wants, where you the spirit and body form merely be, where what you are comes back to you to define and fulfill you.


Want nothing. Merely be, and now the Watcher can no longer control you as there is nothing to control as you want nothing from the illusion. All you wish for, is to  be what you are, which is Love.

This state you carry with you all day every day as this is what you are.

Do not underestimate the power of intent. Do not underestimate the power of the Love/Consciousness that you are.


And just like that the Watcher Spirit is no more, and now the cycle of get to give can commence.




To be eliminates the thought, because when you think, you want. Do not underestimate what our separation from Home done for our alone status, where when we think, we are not alone, where in the thought we live an illusionary event that never happens, all the while living in an illusion.


So do, and while you do, be.

This sphere they placed in front of our Third Eye, so instead of witnessing the Watcher Spirit, we merely saw a reflection of what we are, hence living in a loop going nowhere.


You are Cosciousness – this all that is, so merely be, and what you are will come to you, which is everything you need in this illusionary realm. By Being, you get to give, and you become the Richest Man/Woman in Babylon, because while you do, you are what you are – this Consciousness.

You do not get simpler than that: Merely Be.




It’s like looking through one of those small spyglass cylinders that they install in doors so that you can peek through the glass and see who is at the other side of the door without opening the door. Your spyglass is special, where it has a little flap in front of it, where to look through the spyglass one has to move this flap to one side.


And so it is with the sphere they placed in front of our Spiritual Sight. Move aside this flap/sphere, and what you see is the Watcher Spirit, but it goes so much deeper than that, because not only do you not see the Watcher/Octopus spirit, you don’t see what they do to manipulate and destroy you.


For some time now I have been working to heal this one lady. She gets better, and then the condition comes back in full earnest. Yesterday I understood that I need to stop beating around the bush – there is something I am missing; something big.

In the state of Being the sphere was removed from the proximity of the Third Eye, and when this was done, the goings on of the Watcher Spirit were felt. At the back of the left heel there was an open channel, and through this channel entered this huge entity – what felt like a large slug on steroids, where its actions and movements had a frantic state that are unknown to you and me.

This is what I have missed in helping this lady, where this world of the Watcher Spirit and its control over us was revealed.


For friggin’ years we have known of the Watcher Spirit, not understanding that our wants/thoughts kept it alive and in our presence. We can talk about the Architects of the illusion – those that built the construct of the System, but nothing comes close to the Watcher Spirit in terms of regulating our existence. This was the boss that hid behind our thoughts/wants as it arose from our wants. I want that, meaning I want to control it and make it mine, and so this state left our forms and formed a cloud state, where just as we wanted, now there is a want state over us wanting to control us, and this is the Watcher/Octopus spirit. These fuckers are bad – really bad. To know of them is not enough to shake them off – you have to stop thinking, because within the thought is a want. When you are in a state of Being the flap of the spyglass is pulled to one side to reveal the Watcher Spirit. In that moment it is Game-over, where this Beast has to depart your space, and now you that is Consciousness sees you that is everywhere, where from this you create that – in other words you play.


Our purpose is to play; to bring forth from the Infinite this that you are, so while you the spirit and body form are in the illusion, play.


Jesus, will this journal ever come to an end?

I see the madness out there as this world begins to fall apart in a bad way, and this pushes me to not be taken over and engulfed by the chaos of “destroying because this is what we have become.” We are the Lorax, where we chop down every fucking last tree until there is nothing more to take, until all that is left is the destructive frequency within us, and now we know ourselves – the Beast that we are.


It was never just about you. It was about me as well, and everyone else.

Take back control of your existence. Be.

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The cull was never really on the cards for those that ran the show, because the more there are in a dystopian culture, the more chaos there is, and this energy is needed to keep the illusion going. Wars were and are five-course orgasmic feasts for those in the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, so the intent throughout the ages was never to lessen the food supply, the intent was always to control it, and this they have done masterfully.


What I was shown last night as I slept was a theme – one which I do not understand, and thus arse meeting couch this morning to understand what needs to be known. The principle shown as I slept was the one needs to meet the other for unity and a working relationship to be met. A lock is made for a key to fit into it, and so too do we the ants in the ant colony need to fit in with those that manufactured our ant farm, where the two have to unite as one, where in this case maximum energy has to be drawn from us, all the while we are kept stupid, so that the System of the illusion may tick over for another day where all may eat and be merry.

I tried to break into the Chinese market as an Equine Chiropractor years ago, and the organization there that sponsored my visit took me and some of the guests at my talk out for lunch. They sat me next to a professor from one of the Chinese universities, and during the course of the meal I asked him what is the most important thing in Life for him. This man looked wise and educated, hence my question so that I may learn and better myself. His response did not require time to mull over; it was short and sweet: “To eat.” This was the most important state in Life to him – the reason why we live.


And how right he was, where we all live to eat. Of course to take it beyond that state of pleasure now and then is something we cannot live without, so the orgasm is the high – the cherry on top of the cake. But there is something else that supercedes these states, where to eat and to have intercourse is a by-the-by to survive, where they are there but insignificant to those that have tasted the power of dominion over others. I can enter the frequency of this absolute power to feel and understand it, where, as an example, my decisions determine whether you and your children have food to eat for the next month, but this I refuse to do because my ego is intact and I don’t like going where I don’t belong. Having said that, how is the earth and nature plundered so that I may survive, where I am above what we take and kill, thus am I not a hypocrite? I would say yes, I am one, but every moment of every day I move towards the natural state where Love is supreme because there is  nothing else, and to understand this unity of lock and key between us and our oppressors will be a huge leap to where we belong.  


In my sleep state I had the impression that something within us connects us to the ones that feast from our energy, and ditto – something within them connects to the something within us. So what and where is it? Because that makes sense, where there has to be a magnetic attraction between two forces for the one to take from the other.


In you and I the spirit and body form there is such a mechanism, but its origin – its power source – is plugged into our Consciousness. Those fuckers that know of the Game and play therein and are fully aware of their suppression and cruelty over others have the receiver implanted within them, where what is within us flows to them. And here, I would say to those in the upper echelons of the Game, it is more than having pleasures and food/energy – it is about dominion over the worlds of the illusion, where you are untouchable because those below you are so inferior to you, you can take them out with a swipe of your hand just because you can. You are master, and this is all you need and will ever want, because you don’t get better than this in the illusion.

There is just one catch buddy – you rule over an illusion; something that is not real. You rule over fools whose priority and driving force is to have their cocks sucked, so what are you master of?

And this one needs to understand, where when you become detached from reality – of what is important, which is to care and be – you lose perspective of who and what you are because now you have nothing to compare yourself with. You are not on my level, so I cannot bounce off myself onto you to see my faults.

These with absolute power float past the stars and we keep them there by basking in their false glory – their glory and power over the stupid, untamed Beast who is at peace with destroying all and themselves to live for another day to eat and have pleasure. We kiss the arse of mirages in a desert, and this makes us complete. I will never get to be you, but my slave status in your presence is enough to fulfill me.


Thanks, but no thanks. Would rather move on to where I belong, as do the innocent.


What is this magnetism between the aware and unaware slaves of the illusion and those that run the show and survive off of us? To understand it is to break it so that we may go our separate ways, and this is what masters imagined would never happen, hence their exalted status of I am untouchable as my dominion over you is secure. And how right they are, because as long as you are plugged into the space of these fuckers there is nothing I can do for you, or you for yourself.


It is the raw, Beautiful Love of the Animals that lifts us up to see the big picture, and what we see and feel is a frequency line that goes into the heart field to come out thereof and make a full circle once again with itself. My first impression was that someone just had a circular earing pierced into their nose, where what should not be there is this loop that is now a permanent fixture. Something entered the heart field that is Consciousness and anchored itself therein. Now the heart field that is Consciousness no longer worked as it should, where two sharp, stabbing pains were felt on either side of the lower abdomen. It feels like a catapult shooting something off from the left lower abdomen, and then from the left to the right side of the abdomen, the catapult makes a complete clockwise circular motion. And now this clockwise movement of the catapult never stops, but its movement is erratic and always off centre – an effective, but helter-skelter System is set into motion. And this make sense, where the natural workings of Consciousness was blocked with a symbolic, and yet also literal ring through it, and a different mechanism was set into place to feed from those within the Illusion.


“To eat.” That is what Life is about.


Damn right you are. May that professor understand there is more to Life than your tongues taste receptors working and your brain telling you what is great and what is not. What Life is about is feeding the System so that the illusion remains intact so that the cruel can carry on destroying lives and this place we call home.

The heart space that is Consciousness was and is for all, but this was locked/blocked/hijacked where the house always wins, where from you I will always take, thus being always above you. Now there was just a flow that took – took primarily from our Consciousness to feed masters and the turbines of the Illusion.


That ring through the heart field of Consciousness is now no more.

Remember to be in order to witness the natural state of Consciousness that has been enslaved and abused for so long.  


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It was the System of the illusion that created the ying and yang; the left and right; the good and bad; the day and night. It was the blocking off of the true state of Consciousness that division was met, where from another we take to remain complete. And this is true, because now what was, was no longer more. The All that is Consciousness became no more, where I give to get, and what you receive is pittance, as I hold the key to who gets and when.

I give so that you may give thanks to me – you that is the slave to me; the trash that can and will never be my equal.


That house of cards comes a falling down.


My advice is do damage control, as I suspect in many there is, where you allow Consciousness to be, and this will filter into the seen and unseen realms.




Have been coughing myself to sleep over the last few nights from a bad flu, so have not had a cat sleeping in my arms during the night – she slept on the chair reserved for one of the dogs. So when the one dog went to sleep on her chair last night she could not as it was pre-occupied. During the early hours of this morning was woken up by the footsteps of Tia on the wooden floor to see if her chair was vacant. Somewhere in my half awake, deep sleep I felt the expanded base of my left foot and ankle as the Serpent was moving its way into my form. Then the whole picture came into view where I recalled the implanted dream of me being in a social setting where I did not really want to be as the company was not my sort. And to crown it all, as my body lay in bed sleeping, what was walking on my face and that of my spirit was what looked like a soft toy dinosaur that was about two meters tall. There they were, these soft clawed feet walking on my head to make sure I do not awaken as the Serpent goes about its business.


And all this shit happens as we go about our flustered lives, not really knowing if we are coming or going or who we are. What is out there in the unseen that has a direct impact on our lives is unbelievable, and the spirit realm is becoming street smart to this nonsense at an alarming pace. The days of playing it hush-hush from the shadows are falling apart for all to see this pathetic Game that is driven by nothing else but cruelty, because that is what cruelty is – it is cowardice, where I destroy you to feel good about myself, because I am okay and you are not, and this pleases me because I am above you the one I have just destroyed. Wow, and these came to rule over an illusionary realm. Can you understand how low we have been to have these wasted spaces rule over us since before the beginning of time.


If it wasn’t for my cough and cat sleeping on the chair and the steps of an agitated dog on the floor, I would not have known of the Serpent that was entering my space. I have known these fuckers for over ten years, where I see and feel and smell them as my body sleeps and my spirit and Consciousness is cognitive of them, so what is going on? If it wasn’t for luck they would have passed through my radar.

When you focus, everything becomes intensified and the big picture becomes blurred as you hone in on the problem at hand. So now I don’t focus – I just stand back and see the problem at hand.

What is going on?


The mechanics that make up us the body form and less dense spirit are mind-boggling, in what we believe them to be, and what they are, are completely the opposite.

This guy I know was fixing his lawn mower and the blade slipped and almost completely sliced off his thumb. They sewed back the tendon and re-attached the thumb, but yesterday he complained that he had lost flexion in the thumb. (The accident happened about just over a week ago.) When I went into his space to help, there was a tear in his energy field over the chest area, and I assume this was from the shock/fright of the trauma. When the tear in his energy field was pulled back to where it should be the flow of energy returned to his thumb, as now his energy/body forms were united as one unit. But it was later when I re-checked on this man to make sure he was still okay that what I felt was wow. From the left thumb going to the brain was this bundled, uniformed flow of energy. It was a chord of energy about an inch wide that folded itself into the shape of the arm to link the hand to the brain.


So what are we made of? – It is frequency energy patterns/bundles that are electric in nature. Nothing is solid – it is just wave patterns – the patterns of a mirage in a desert, and this is you and me and all Life in the illusion, and that was wow for me to see and feel in another of the Human race.


Somewhere in this network of nerve/electric bundles we have been fucked over to be a slave species to the cruel, and from there the mechanism has been locked so that we may not rise above ourselves, where we out-think and out-grow our limitations. And this setting, I assume is in Consciousness, as this is the hard-drive around which we were created. In simplistic terms, we are lego pieces in a box that cannot rise above ourselves and be more than lego pieces. We cannot dance with the wind or ride on a ray of sunlight because we are fucked up little pieces of lego. We are single, isolated building blocks instead of being united with the All, starting with our Consciousness.

So what is going on?


What you feel is the Infinite of the All deep within your heart energy field. It is like the molten lava of a volcano, and it is Beautiful as it is natural and what should be. Then I smell this disgusting smell of the Serpent, and this fountain of lava from the Infinite is capped, where it no longer touches us and is a part of our existence. The sardines that swam as one in the ocean are now crammed into their little tin and sealed tightly therein – that now became the separation of the Infinite from us the manufactured forms, and I stress that what this means is we are isolated from Consciousness. In an anti-clockwise direction a lever is turned, where our separation from the Infinite/Consciousness is secured. Just to the left of the midline of the chest area another lever begins to rotate. Something is set into place over the area of our anatomical heart area in the unseen realms, and this becomes the source to us the spirit and body form. Now we are linked to an Artificial source of energy, and please understand that what this is, is beyond your comprehension and mine, where they took the true origin of Consciousness and made a replicate, an artificial construct thereof. As I write these words I smell the stink of the Serpent, and what I smell is the foul nature of those that set us the artificial body and spirit forms into motion. There was no Love there in their task and duty – it was a welder working on a machine, knowing the machine will experience limitation and heartache so that the welder may live off of the machine.

(So where does our compassion come from – our caring? I would say this is from the Infinite that cannot be shut off/capped in its entirety, where what we feel and know to be the truth is from this that touches us that is the All.)

Above this device they installed to the left of our chest I feel a tap on top of it, and this tap determines the amount of artificial consciousness we receive. Talk about playing God! Fields/colonies of species were harvested across the illusion, and the level of caring/consciousness of these entities they determined. As said, to control the Game you have to control every aspect of it. I would say across a graph line this level of consciousness never dwelled too high, and if anything, it remained at the level of the Beast, where at any time we can cross over and say fuck this, now I go with the flow of no Consciousness, where I am what I am – a cruel, despicable wasted space that provides no input to Life but to destroy it and myself.

Can you understand my will to return Home to once again be amongst my own, rather than be what is around us now that we accept as part of the furniture.


That control valve and the machine to which it is attached that regulates our artificial consciousness to us becomes no more by knowing it is there and has no place within our existence.

That cap on the Consciousness that we are is no more, and we the body forms become one with the Consciousness that we are.


Just take what you can handle so that you don’t become burnt by the Sun within.


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There was never a time in my existence when the chaos out there was as blatant as it is now. In times of war or economic collapse I can imagine there must be an element of shell-shock, where people are rattled, and either you become grounded to a certain degree, or you fall apart completely. What does happen is your eyes open to reality, where there is a problem out there that is touching and rattling me. During these times – I am sure more than any other time – Divine Intervention is wished upon to deliver us from what is staring us in the face, where we understand that when Life shows its hand to give us a few slaps, that it is bigger than you and me.

Now there is no answer for what is out there but to hope, where we understand the joys of our team winning or our kids bringing home a good report card are truly infintismal in the big picture. Our eyes open to the fact that there is more than me, and when this hits us, we understand that not only are we small, we are pathetically fragile.


How is it possible that what I see out there when I reverse my car out the garage to go about what needs to be done is not seen by others? Do they not feel the chaos as I do, because this is not my imagination – it is real, and it is scary.

Carlo Collodi wrote Pinocchio to warn us about bad behaviour – always let your conscience be your guide. Be a good boy; be a good girl, because if you do not there are consequences, where some say you give yourself bad karma, where what you give you get.

Did we listen? Did we do what was good for ourselves and others, where all benefit and are uplifted? I am not walking around the classroom with my big stick seeing who has and hasn’t done their homework in asking such a question, I merely reflect on the chaos out there and wonder how we allowed ourselves to become so shallow – this world of selfies and a lack of culture that defines who we are at our core for all to see, where we have integrity and humbly give thanks for what we have.


It is madness out there, and we are okay with this – this plastic, superficial world where corruption and lies are acceptable to us from those who guide our lives and those whom we love.

What happened to the good old days, where I knew you and you knew me, where you were solid and so was I? It doesn’t help to long for the past, and it sure as hell doesn’t help to fear the present and future, but when one looks, and you see nobody else wants to see what you see, because they are okay with destruction, that creates an angst within me as to what will happen next, because sooner than later this party will end, and when the lights are turned on we will see what we are and have and what we considered as being cool. I don’t want to be around when that happens, because I was never in that party, so I refuse to feel the blowout of the explosion when the cookie crumbles. When I was a teenager every weekend I tried to get more drunk than the previous one, and this was harmless, where me and my friends let our hair down and had fun. We never bothered anyone; we were never a nuisance, and with time I understood there was more to Life and to me, so let’s go out there and find it. Basically I grew up because I wanted to be better than what I was, where I learn to grow to experience to lead a full Life.


This world had changed, and it has been steered in this direction, and how we have embraced this “I don’t know myself but let’s fuck everything up, including ourselves.” This world scares me – it scares me every day when I drive out my garage, and it scares me when I sit on my couch. It scares me because that is not me – I don’t feel comfortable with what others consider the norm because when the bubble bursts it will be ugly. When the drunken Boys feel the effects of their behaviour and turn into the donkeys that they are and were corralled into being, you don’t want to be around. Trust me, you don’t want to see what happens then, where the chaos that has always been stares everyone in the face.


How has this journal touched the Life of Steven? How has it bettered my Life? What wisdom has it brought me, where I am a better person today compared to yesterday?

Wow! That’s a question for you.

Scared is not the right word. Scared means you are afraid. I am not afraid, rather what I see frightens me, because when the fool who considers himself supreme through his/her belief of entitlement, you don’t want to see the mayhem that follows.

So what this journal has done to me in writing it has frightened me – not so much by what the Beasts in the unseen have done to us, but rather what we have done to ourselves. There is such a thing as karma, where we look at our fuck ups and say that is not me, where we see the shame we have inflicted upon ourselves. In that moment you grow up where you understand it was never just about you because we are all in this together.


This journal has brought me sweet absolute fuck all, except the knowing that we will be okay. What would have happened if I had not written it? What would have happened if the chaos that has always been goes unchecked, where we don’t go back to the beginning and ask what the hell happened that Love became no more; where the pathetic saw themselves as the superior over all? We live in a world where filth was allowed to rise and rule over us, where we have no say and they are allowed to do as they wish. This inversion of what should be is the base foundation of the chaos out there, where how do you talk to the stupid? You cannot, because they are stupid, and yet these are the one who rule and have ruled for lifetimes – the Boys who do what they want when they want because they can. Collodi warned them, as did their Conscience, but its fun – this freedom of having no responsibility to those who share the same space as you.


I am eternally thankful for the writings of this journal because it opened my eyes to the seen and unseen. What I see that I have come to understand is not me – it will never be me as that is not who and what I am. So what this journal does is move me to where I belong. What is out there is not me, so I move to what I am and where I belong. And how do I do this you may ask? It is done by the law of Attractions. Know yourself. Be yourself, and you will be where you belong as that is what you are.


So what did this journal do for me? It got me to understand who I am not. I am not a Beast in the seen and unseen. I am not cruel. I am not irresponsible. I have integrity; I have self-respect. And most of all – I don’t belong in this madhouse, because that is not me.

I also know my limits – I know this Game is bigger than all of us and we need help. So I chose to help those who can help us – Sophia; Semiramis et al. I helped them, but I do not wait for them to help me, rather I move to where I belong, and this is the Law of Attraction, where the Home within moves me to the Home that is the Source of the Infinite, where Consciousness goes back Home. That is all that matters; that is the only priority – to be Home where we belong.


Those that created this mess will clean it up because the mess lies with them. They can go and fuck themselves – these cruel bastards. It was always their Game they deceived us into. With the lights turned on; with Consciousness being what it is, they will see what they are and wished they allowed their conscience to be their guide.



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So what is the solution?


Yesterday went to speak with the authorites at my kids school to make them aware of the problem there before it haemorrhages. I spoke from the heart because I care, and the response was disgusting and uncalled for.

By and large we have lost the art of finesse and communication, where we either bark out a few words as commands, or we attack with the disgusting person that we are. That rattled me, where you go in because you care, and what greets you is the step that precedes physical violence.


Left unchecked, we will begin to take the law into our own hands, where we kill to solve a problem, where the problem will be buried – literally. In no time these opposing groups will meet a stalemate, where hatred meets hatred, where the two parties cannot go beyond each other because they are the same. When the State is tired of these rivalries, where killing those who wish to take from you or oppose you becomes the norm, that is when mass slaughter will happen, and this will occur with precision and sureness by the State, where the brute is here one day, and the next this lineage is gone forever more, never to reoccur. What will be left is the artificial, drugged, intellectual who is wired to the machine within that they now are, and these will go about their business feeding the Cloud and the System energy.


How far are we away from blood spilling on a street near you? I would say it would be triggered by a huge economic collapse or a world war, where I have to steal from you to survive, and that will be the beginning of the end for humanity as we know it.

How far are we away from this? I would say about twelve months, where if the shit hits the fan, it will happen around then? How can I say this? Because we have stopped all caring and empathy. Life is too fast and we have been lost along the way, where we cannot cope. We are ripe for the plucking – this sport of I kill you to defend myself from what you wish to take from me. In the past we would call this a crime or self-defence, but in the future it will happen so often we will view it as a natural phenomena.


So what is the solution? The answer is to be a real Girl and a real Boy, where the Consciousness that you are shines, where you see and feel and smell and know this that you are. Where you release what you are to be/become what you are.

Become what you are. There is no other way forwards because there is so much bad and confusion out there, that if you don’t take charge of your Life then somebody else will, where they will walk over you and take you out because now we are in the next phase of survival.

How long ago were we the friends of the animals, where we Loved them as we Loved ourselves? It is to step into another frequency/world to be able to speak to the animals and plants, because it is there, as it always has been. And just like that, things change, and they are never the same again.

How can we just assume tomorrow will be like today? What stops the cruel in the seen and unseen from flipping the switch that changes the course of destiny, where Life now becomes more difficult for all of us?


What I assure you, is if the cruel don’t destroy us, we will end up destroying ourselves, as this is my right – to survive. We began killing our friends the plants and animals a long time ago so that we may be okay, so how long before we turn on ourselves?

You think I am talking nonsense, but look at our lives. What do we live for? What are we doing here? What is our purpose? The madness out there is seen as the norm, where to break down is better than to build up. Are we not already the savage? How long back did culture and the arts die?


Yesterday I was floored by the pig-headedness that is out there, where I have lost the ability to talk to you without shouting and verbally attacking you. Those that are cruel make up your species and mine, so what is one to do about this?

The answer is to walk with Consciousness that you are, and with this comes no fireworks or laser show. You merely are what you are, and what you feel inside of you is a Love of a God that is you that is Consciousness. You walk and you live and you be. You stand still and you die by the evil that is everywhere.

Yesterday I was floored. What stops me from being floored today and tomorrow and the next day and the next? I just keep being the Consciousness that I am. What will that bring me? That I do not know, because I do not know what peace feels like; what freedom from this existence feels like. I have not shone enough to be able to see myself and know this peace that I am, but this I have to find, as the alternative is not an option.


So keep going. That is the only solution there is.

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Yesterday morning done what I could to restore the energy field of this middle-aged man. When he was a child his father didn’t want him, so he was dropped off in a boarding school, and his dad left him there. At night time this little boy wandered the halls of the boarding school trying to make sense of everything. He was so scared he pissed himself every night.

Then this lady brought her dog to me for help, but actually the dog brought them for help. This lady remembers from the age of two years old how she tried to cope being in an abusive family, where physically, mentally, emotionally – on all levels – some cruel being in the unseen placed this Beautiful flower of a spirit and body form in this hell-hole of a family so that she may not blossom.


You and I cannot comprehend what these people and their spirits have been through, and there are countless more that have been through even worse.

What happens to these beings during their states of fear, is a part of them departs to go and find their happy place. That part of them stays there and doesn’t return to the spirit and body form. So now they live their lives a literal fraction of what they are, and of course the wheels begin to fall off as they cannot cope without a big chunk of them that is not present.

On this lady I understood I had to go and find the part of her that went AWOL – absent without leave, and this I done. The deal was this part of her could return to this Happy place any time it wished, but what was important was that this ladies energy and spirit not be divided, but rather stand as one.


This morning it hit me that the same applied to Consciousness. In its lost and deceived state a part of it must be elsewhere, so one foot is in Hell and the other is in this make-believe Happy place so that the whole of Consciousness may cope. And that was our weakness – where our Consciousness was divided.


With your intent – by knowing there is a problem that should not be – you bring forth this part of your Consciousness that is  not present, so that your Consciousness may stand as one. I am not necessarily saying a big chunk of you is not present, although this may well be the case – what I am saying with certainty is that our Consciousness is  not standing as one within itself because of the blows that Life hit us with. Those beatings from being in a place where you don’t belong comes at a price, and that price is your Consciousness and mine not being what it should be, where it is either rattled and detached from itself, or a big chunk of it is somewhere else “running through fields of daisies with flowers in its hair.” Jokes aside, we are helpless because our Consciousness is divided and not standing as one within itself. This stops now, where this dude/dudess returns as one whole unit. And please, stay this way. You are bigger than this Game because you are the only thing in this Game that is real, as you arose from the Infinite. Just shine; just be, and the spirit and body form will follow.

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The novel Lord of the Flies by William Golding highlights how easily we can turn on each other – how the Beast dwells in all of us, where there is no loyalty to any, but to the Beast within. And that, by the way, includes you and me, because the Beast is within all.


They say that the gun as a weapon of war became obsolete around the 1960’s, where mind-control devices took them over around that time period, where from my machine I can instruct you to put down your weapon and surrender to me. Such is the level of technology out there. Sounds impressive? Well, it’s not.

I remember when this journal began, where one night my spirit travelled to another time and space. There I saw masses of slaves doing manual labour, and standing amongst them, assessing their progress, was this man of olive coloured skin who had these large wings. My first knowing in seeing this fucker was that he had the power over millions. He must have felt the presence of my spirit looking at him, because he turned towards me and covered his face with his one hand so that I could not see what he was about to do to me. This man send forth these hierogliphic frequencies towards me to take me out, and when I felt the effects of what this man projected towards me, I immediately left this world.


The point to make, is what projects the Beast within us, where we will naturally destroy rather than uplift? If one man, through the mere presence of what he is, can have the power over millions, what technology is out there deep within the unseen core of the illusion that keeps Goodness at bay while we are pushed into a corner to do unspeakable acts on those closest to us, be it our fellow species, or ones we love the most. Your Life has never been your own under your free will, and here please don’t put on those Goody-Two-Shoes, where never will I betray my integrity you tell me.

Our Life purpose is to be comfortable during our drive to survive, but throw away that cuppa tea and cucumber sandwiches and face the horrors of war, and what you imagined yourself to be is no more, because now the Beast that is projected onto you is unleashed, where you kill or be killed. And just, by the way, we kill our friends the animals and their environment/home every single fucking day just because we can.


I often wonder how far I would have gotten in this journal if I knew something, where I was on point A and now had to get to point B. In knowing nothing I don’t know what I still have to understand, so I keep going, but if I knew how lost and controlled we are, the task at hand would floor me because there is so much that needs to be peeled away before we can merely be.

What we do not understand, is that the Beast in the seen and unseen controls us, where these Beasts are truly horrific, where they use us to perform the unspeakable. Such filth; such horrific entities have sway over us, so can you imagine how toxic and disharmonious is the illusionary realm, where Love is no longer present? Please don’t give me that bullshit of there is Love out there, because if there was we would not be in survival mode. They say that those that God Loves dies young, and this is true, because what Gods Love is, is innocence, and how innocence is slashed apart in this place where the Beast rules.


So what made those boys turn on Piggy in The Lord of the Flies? What unleashes the Beast within you, where from one moment to the next I don’t know you, where never am I safe here in the illusion?


What will transform your Life and mine in the moment is the understanding that we are cared for and looked after by something bigger than us, where this presence that is Consciousness is felt and expressed from you on a permanent basis. That is why a Mother is so special in all our lives, because what a Mother symbolises is someone who cares, where never are we alone, where always we will be more than okay because we are cared for by someone who always watches our backs.

That presence was never there for the innocent that were and continue to be touched by the cruelty that is Life, and why is this so? The answer is because what killed Piggy took over the illusion, where at any moment this Beast can flip over inside of us and be unleashed.

So what is this Beast; what is this frequency? (This question is asked now because as Consciousness returns to its complete state, this Beast frequency is met and acknowledged, and before it is shunned, I need to understand this maker of widows – this one that crushes and obliterates the innocent, where we that are  Good can so easily become the Beast.)


When they capped the heart energy field, it had to be replaced with something, where something anew had to be born within us. And here you can ask how is this possible – how can you seal the natural flow of Love? That is easy to answer, because what happened was we were no longer Home, where our Consciousness was trapped in a Game of learn and evolve. Do not underestimate our shell-shocked state of being in a place where we don’t belong. There is nothing worse than being in a job you hate or being in a toxic relationship, in other words, being in a place where you don’t belong, and the origin thereof was your Consciounsess and mine being deceived to be trapped within an illusion. From this vantage point we were putty in the hands of the cruel, as what they done to us was through the hidden/occult hand of raw cruelty, where those that came to rule the Game became driven by power rather than Love.


When I go into the stillness of the silence to feel this frequency that was projected upon us, what I feel is nothing, meaning no frequency was projected upon us. With the heart field capped, what this done was unleash free will onto us, where if I want, I can do what I wish – I just musn’t get caught out.

The heart field that became capped unleashed free will, and the two-faced Beast was born, where what I show you is not what I am, because I can.

With the heart field capped now I have the option/choice to become cruel, and this option is always present within you and me, hence the Beast within is always present. Love became no more, and if we choose, we can become whatever we want, just don’t get caught out. Now our Lives became hush-hush, where what you see is not what you get, and this holds true in the eight billion plus of us here in the seen, as well as the infinite numbers in the other worlds, as well as in the unseen.


How you counter this is easy, where you give from the heart energy field. You give because you can, and that neutralizes and changes everything.

What does a Mom do – she cares; she gives the Love that she is from the heart field, and this is what you and I begin to do, where with the heart field open and Consciousness returning to its former state, opportunities present themselves to us to give, and when we do, we know the power of giving from the heart field, as from this Home Consciousness may be and express itself.


So my advice is stop having options, where either I like you or I don’t. Merely be what you are, and you know you are this when you give. You give Love first and foremost – to yourself, and from there everything else unfolds as it should.

This Game stops when we be what we are, and what this is, is to give of ourselves to express ourselves. That is your purpose and mine, as this is what we naturally are.


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It is when you say to me “Ah, I understand” that you take back control of your existence.


The foundation of the Game was Consciousness becoming more and more detached from itself and its Home. Now things became complicated, where the natural Love of self and Home was no more, and a new power source was needed, and why this power source was needed, was because Love became replaced by Fear/Uncertainty. “I don’t know; I am not sure; I am afraid.” This created an emptiness within us - a void what was naturally filled by the presence of Consciousness in its natural might, but a chain of events unfolded, where things went from bad to worse.

In the fields of Infinite Love we are all One, but here in the illusion we began to scramble and race to get the upper hand over others to survive. Some loved this thrill of control, where now I am above you so I control you, and this high became the god of the illusion – this me the big-cock at the top of the hierarchical System. Us lesser beings merely looked and wished we were them, but we knew we couldn’t be, so our groupie status became good enough for us, where I will never be like you, but it’s okay by me to be a second-best you.


We became pathetic beings, chasing this the me, where I have to be okay, and there is no other but I. We stopped caring; we stopped wanting to understand this Game so that we many return to what we are, never understanding that this Game has an expiry date, where what pleased us before now becomes irrelevant.

Putting in the hours to buy that condo by the sea, or saving to upgrade the lake house – these things drove us, where we had to maintain and move forwards to better ourselves. What we never knew, and please take this from the literal standpoint from where it comes – what we never knew was that we invested in a System that was flawed. We build castles and brought forth beautiful paintings or songs in a place that should not be, so the beauty we create here – I am afraid to say – means nothing.


If you are mesmerized by the splatter pattern of blood from the newly born infants throat that you have just slit, or the flower that bloomed today that was not there yesterday, understand that these joys that fill you with a peace within will sooner or later no longer interest you. Here in the illusion everything has an expiry date, where with each fall from our cultural and ethical values we become less than what we were, until we ourselves fade away and become no more, where the ultimate – this me – no longer becomes of interest to us.

You see, here in the Game nobody wins – we all lose sooner or later. All of us lose; there are no winners, and this is the insanity of this place, where we run around like chickens with their heads chopped off towards our certain demise.


Normally when I sleep at night time I see the unseen through my Third Eye, but last night I was shown a definitive message: We are doing our best to build a Utopia within a System that is flawed, thus whatever we build is useless and worthless, where it will never hold and stand the test of time because the System/Illusion is flawed, and thus so is everything within the System.


The more we drifted from the Love that we are; the more we drifted from the Infinite, the more our existence here in the illusion became unnatural, so what was needed was energy. Love became replaced by Fear/Uncertainty, and to keep this Fear alive we had to eat. You could say we all became addicts, where we needed something to appease this Fear within, and the foundation of our survival in this place where we don’t belong became energy – preferably fear-energy to satiate this fear within us. Of course balance had to be met, where we could express this Love that we were, but by and large we hung onto and pushed the pole that turned the wheel called Survival.


So we have to do the complete opposite to what we have always done, where you don’t take from the System, rather you give to it. You see the flawed System and you give it the Love that you Consciousness are. You give Love so that what was, now is no more, where you are not feeding the System/Illusion, rather you are returning what should be so that it now is. Where there was Fear now is there Love. Don’t try and change the Game by playing therein, rather remove the Game as it was flawed, and how this is done is by changing the concept of the Game, where Fear is replaced by the Love that you are.


You have to understand: Don’t create in a flawed System. Remove the System by removing the flaw, which is Fear, where you replace this by your presence of Love. Just be, and in being you will naturally give of the Love that you are, but know to what you are giving – you are giving to a System so that it becomes no more, because that System is not you and me.

We are Love, and from Love comes Love. Compare this to our state of Uncertainty, where from Fear comes the now of survival.

What I say is bigger than you and me – it is for our Consciousness to grasp and make its own, but to you and me the spirit and body form, there comes a time when finger needs to be pulled out of arse and we do our bit to get the ball rolling back Home. Project the Love that you are that is your Consciousness, as this is the real you. First and foremost be/give Love, and from this foundation Life will unfold as it should. If Life is not panning out as you wish, project your Love into the problem at hand so that the Fear may be removed so that clarity may be met. I did not write this journal in my cave in Nepal with a loin cloth covering my package – it was written in this shit place called Life, so at all times I have to be realistic to what is out there in the seen and unseen. As of now, group hugs won’t do it for me, but understanding that in order to transform, one needs to transform the System, and that understanding will get me through this day and the next. I be Love for the System so that the System may become converted from Fear to Love, and on this platform/System we may now walk.


There is no holy grail that needs to be found to become the Enlightened Love that you are. All you need is understanding, and that will get you through.


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Ask yourself why are the cruel cruel? It is for the high of me being above you, and one needs to understand what this high is.


When I am cruel to you i.e. I intentionally cause sorrow to you, as well as disbelief to my actions, where you wish your association with me never happened, what happens during that moment of cruelty is Goodness within me dies. You might say I am destroying the Goodness in others by breaking them, but this is not true – I am destroying the Goodness in me. When what was Good within me dies, what happens in my standing compared to yours? The answer is I am above you, because now I am closer to this dense frequency of the illusion compared to you.

When Goodness dies within me, at my core I become more Fearful, because now there is less Goodness within me, and this connects me even further to the Fear/Uncertainty upon which the illusion is run.


All that I am now is a Beast, where my inhibitions are let loose for me to further embrace this madhouse and make it my own. I am above you due to the proximity of where we are, where in Hell the more evil you are the more power you have over the innocent lambs all around you.


The cruel are above the innocent here in the illusion because this is the playground where you do what you want, so the more you do at the expense of others, the more Goodness within you dies, taking you further from the true state of your Consciousness. That is how inverted this place is, a true utopia for the stupid and the coward. So what the high is during the act of cruelty, is me moving deeper into the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where my abnormal behaviour gives me greater proximity to this abnormal place, which makes me feel at home here, where I feel I belong amongst my fellow Beasts in the seen and unseen.


What the cruel sooner or later understand is that the Sun no longer shines within their existence, where reality is but a blur between what is and what is not. Now they are lost to this place, where there is detachment between who and what they are and where they find themselves. Nothing within them is real, where all they are is this mass of distorted frequency. My goodness, and this was those who ruled over me and you, where their decisions made our lives more miserable with each passing day.


Thus for me, the high is a dangerous state to find ourselves in. The opposite to the high is the constant.

At a nearby university there is a library building that was built over a hundred years ago. Every single time when I see the building I am moved by its Beauty. I will never become blasé to this structure – it merely is what it is, where it is a constant, and that for me is what Goodness is, where it does not need a sunny day, or an excuse to ridicule someone to shine.

In the constant you are what you are, where you cannot be anything but what you are. When my eyes close at night time to fall asleep the world of the unseen comes alive around me, and this prevents me from having a good nights sleep, so I am always tired, where I have to focus on any task throughout the day to make sure it is done properly. And in this fatigue I have learnt to give of the Goodness that I am in order to be true to myself. To be Love one needs to be Love, where you are what you naturally are. And this is the constant that is Goodness, where time or circumstances do not define you. You know what you are, and cannot be anything else but this state.


Why I am saying all of this is because Life has to reciprocate what you project, where from a constant, you witness this that you are, which is the Infinite that is Home. Sooner or later you see yourself in all that is around you, and in that moment we are no longer lost, where we see the Infinite that we are.

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What I often thought of in the past was the patriot. Can you imagine getting up every morning, and the first feeling that hits you is you are in the best country of the world. Whether you are right or wrong is not the issue here – it is living a Life where you are at peace with your dwelling, your community, and by and large, your planet, because the patriotism you feel within extends from you and touches all corners of the globe.

What does patriotism do to your work ethics, as well as your integrity, where my country is doing its bit,so let me do mine. You become proud, as well as thankful, and you cannot tell me that this state does not uplift the frequency of the planet.

I am not better than you in your country, because I have not been to your country, but here at home it is a beautiful place with beautiful people. That is the patriot, and that is the blessed.


What bothers this Steven is that I have never had a home where I feel at home, where when I am away from home, I miss my home. For me, it has always been the reverse, where when we go away for a few days, dread fills me as we near home and what is waiting there – the awful neighbours; a place that I cannot call my own, where I long for a sanctuary in this madhouse. Every day for at least six years now I look at houses for sale, and never have I found one that is me. Of all the houses I have lived in, I sell because I have to move and get out of the community because they are just plain downright nasty. And that is not me – I am kind and considerate.


Having read that sorrowful tale, let me tell you what was shown last night as I slept, and in the bigger picture, it does fit in with the above pitiful story of me longing to be a patriot.


I was shown a city – it was a green city, as in the colour green was everywhere. Then I was given a name to the city – Jeddeah. That is Jeddah in Saudi Arabia. Then I was shown a green person trapped underground, where try as they may, they could not escape/leave their green chambered prison.

It was written years ago in the journal that Saudi Arabia is the hub of evil here in the seen realms of this planet, but what we never knew, is on the unseen realms there is serious shit going on there that impacts our Pale Blue Dot, as Carl Sagan calls Earth.


I cannot connect to this planet, and neither can you. The Beauty of the unseen – of Nature and the spirit faerie realm is not one with us on a permanent basis, because if it was, we would not fuck up this place, and if we did, Nature will take us out and put us in our place very quickly.

When you are one with your living planet what does that do to your psyche? The patriot now becomes a soft-cock playing marbles during break at school compared to you the seen and unseen being that is one with your frequency/planet/world.

How many thousands of years back would this Game have ended if you and the planet had an intimate, personal relationship, where as said, you are one with the planet beneath your feet? Can you imagine the completeness you must feel within, because that frequency of the planet is within you, where you and it are united.

There once was a time here in the illusion when we spoke to the trees and felt the pulse of all Life here around us. Then, as the “I” seeked more and more power, we suppressed these living forces that were the planets so that all focus could be placed on me, as in I. This living, breathing spirit of the planet had to be cast aside so that I may take charge, and that is what happened in Jeddah on the unseen realms. Sure, on the seen you will feel it, where you are a guest on this planet wherever you go – where you are never one with all around you that is the planet that is your home away from Home.

(In the unseen realms, at a location called Jeddah, the planet spirit of Earth is locked up there.)


What I was shown last night as I slept highlights the depth of cruelty that runs this corner of the illusion, as well as the illusion at large, because this theme of locking up the spirit of the planet must be universal within the illusion, and I say this because if other planet spirits were free, they would have come to release the enslaved ones – our planet included.


So how did these fuckers do it – how did they enslave the pureness that is the spirit of the planet?

It was through colour – they changed the colour of the planet spirits, and this changed their form/frequency in the seen and unseen, where now they were captive, as in useless to themselves. A frequency was projected onto the planet that killed/limited/knocked down the natural state of the planet, where what was, was now no more. And this frequency has locked the planet spirits into their unnatural colour/state.

From where is this frequency projected? The left eye represents the worlds/frequencies within the illusion. Beyond the left eye is the place where the frequencies/planets are controlled, and it really was not rocket science what they done – where the natural frequency was flipped to be the complete opposite to what is was.

Understand that we live in an illusion, and permeating this illusionary frequency is the fields of Infinite Love. We are in the Infinite, yet we are made to focus on the illusion and give it our energy. Planets understand this, and they can say fuck you to the illusion, where they become one with the Infinite and project this state, all the whilst being in the illusion. Now you see the Beauty of the Infinite projected through the planet, and for Evil to reign supreme, this could never happen. So the frequency of the living being that is the planet was flipped so that it may never know itself, and what you feel coming from the planet is merely a remnant of what was. You are tapping into what was, not what now is, because the planet spirit has been enslaved in a colour frequency. Superman and his green cryptonite comes to mind now.


So what happens now, is the flip-switch that turned the planet spirits into the opposite of what they were turns them back to what they are. How this is done, is by knowing what should not be, where now it becomes no more, and can never happen again, because the Game is up – I know what you done, so you cannot do it again you piece of shit.


The planet spirits are free, and what they do – or what I would like them to do – is return to the fields of Infinite Love. The Infinite that their Consciousness felt is now released within their planet, where now you let Daddy come and play to sort out the mess, to return what is to what should be.

As for us the spirit and body form, open yourself up to feel this oneness with the planet and all around you. You are feeling Home, and may this soft-cock Steven feel that as well, because that is what drives me – to be in the sanctuary of my Home where I belong. This is not so much a sanctuary, it is all there is as there is nothing else.

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A lot has been said about me, this I; the spirit and dense body form, but believe you me, we are important.


We the spirit were created to house the precious cargo within, namely the Serpent soul. This Snake I have seen rise from a mans spirit during a ayahausca ceremony I attended years ago. I have seen my wifes Serpent soul, and mine I have felt within its canal within me too many times to mention.

If you are a father or mother, and you bestow on me the task of looking after your children, you can appreciate the enormity of the task, where in my hands you pass on everything that is precious and holds true to you. This is what Queen Semiramis done when she created/formed us the spirit – to look after her precious kin. So understand that you the spirit are Loved and valued more than anything by this Queen.


When the cogs of the wheels of the Game were earnestly set into motion, the spirit needed to focus on the Game so that we may give it our attention/energy, so the dense body form was created, where through this vehicle the spirit and Consciousness may learn the tasks towards perfection. In that classroom the sole agenda was to take our energy to feed the System of the illusion and the Beasts who dwelled within its core.

We the spirit forgot about the precious cargo within, but those who knew the Game well knew of the innocence housed within the spirit. Many Serpent souls went rogue, where they consumed the spirit, and their game now became to attack the Serpent souls housed within the spirit – just because they can.


There has ever only been one war, which rages as we speak, and that is the evil Serpent souls attacking the innocent ones within our spirit. One can not really call this a war, because in war two or more parties attack each other. So we can call it an onslaught/attack by evil Serpents on the innocent/pure ones within us.


So here, once again, I reiterate: You are important, and the Queen is eternally thankful to you. That we soon missed the plot and forgot our divine purpose was not really our fault, where we looked without to survive, rather than looking within to nurture and care for.

What we also need to understand is the nature of the Serpent within the unseen. It is beyond our awareness and intelligence, and to say that it is supreme is a gross understatement. Don’t try and go up against the bad ones because you are a fly on an elephants back, where not only are you nothing, you are irrelevant. The only weapon you have against them is to Love them, and this is what this journal is all about – to Love all within the illusion so that we may understand them. Those that are bad were once like you and me, who once said they will never turn bad and lose their integrity, but like them, we don’t know what curve-ball the Game can throw at us. Our downfall is our stupidity, where we believe we know something, but truthfully we know nothing. And this is the difference between us and the Serpent: They know, and we the spirit and body form don’t. The jewel in the crown, our Consciousness, they had by the balls and were squeezing tightly, so that dude/dudess became zero on the contract in finding a way out of this mess. It was this punk that had to wake up and come to the party in order to swing everything around, and this morning I need to see what else is missing – why is this Consciousness not flying. What is holding this fucker back; why is it not being?


From the Love of a Queen we look towards the big picture to see what is going on, because as long as our Consciousness is not well, we the spirit and body form are going nowhere.


An evil/disharmonious presence still permeates through our Consciousness, thus is found everywhere within our forms, as well as in the illusion. It is like you the kind and wise coming to talk to me, where you know I am a mess, and you know you can help me, but there is one criteria – I have to listen to you. What I feel as I go within is wisdom/understandings being catapulted away from the presence of Consciousness. It’s that same old story: Take what you give to me and shove it up your arse, where I am not interested in you and your ways. This I find hard to believe after everything that has been said and done, but what we don’t understand is Consciousness is not in its full cognitive state. When you are drunk or on a high, what benefit are my words to you at that moment? Sure, you can sober up and regret that you let yourself go like that, where now my words have added depth, where you do your best to pull yourself right. But what if you are permanently drunk? What use are my words to you then?


To say that your Consciousness and mine is poisoned so that it may never know the truth is something that makes a lot of sense to me, where our Consciousness is fed a drug/frequency that it cannot live without, where this drug/state has come to define our Consciousness as this is all it has ever known.

And what makes a lot of sense here, is when you the spirit cross the line to embrace the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where you knowingly and willingly become bad to destroy and live off your own, that is when you the spirit and body form turn your back on your Consciousness, and this gives the Beast clarity, because now the Beast is no longer poisoned by the state of its Consciousness. That is why Evil has the upper hand here in the illusion – because they see and know, where those still bonded to the Goodness of their Consciousness are blinded by the drunken/delirious state of Consciousness.


Oh man, I told you the cruel were cruel.


When I go into the space of Consciousness to feel/understand the toxin within, I feel this clockwise movement of Consciousness around the periphery of its heart energy field – the gateway to the Infinite. It cannot enter this space, so it departs to the head to try and reason – to understand why it cannot return Home. So you go deeper; you go into Consciousness to see what it does not understand, and there you feel the poison/toxin as it floats/covers its “brain” area. This translucent fluid/frequency was placed within Consciousness so that it may never know/be itself, and this fluid was the anchor that stabilized the illusion so that it may be apart from the Infinite. If I do not know myself, how can I know my Home and return there?


Do you understand the depths of Evil/cruelty within this place wherein you are trapped? And yet so many hold onto this illusion, because therein lies their beliefs, and what they are, is I am important. Do you understand the depths of our vanity, where this me is all that there is? Do you understand that there was no need to play us and entrap us, where this we done to ourselves. Look at me! I am important!

What you are, is a pitiful existence – a pawn in a most cruel Game.


When I healed dogs that were bitten by a puffadder snake, it blows me away at the level of toxicity of the venom. As the owner of one of the dogs once said to me, medicine cannot truly treat that kind of poison. Fair enough, the victim never died, where the anti-venom saved them, but what they never knew, was the effects of the poison are still within the core of their bone marrow, where slowly but surely they are eaten away from the inside, where the Life-form within them is eroded away by this most potent other-worldy toxic frequency.

And I have no doubt that this is what happened to Consciousness, where the Snake bit into Consciousness to poison it, so that Consciousness may never know itself and its Home, thus the Dark Serpent may have a dwelling forever away from the fields of Infinite Love. And all those created around this delusional Consciousness were but collateral damage – food for the Beast.


In its delusional/toxic state, Consciousness was deceived to play in this Game of learn to survive so that you may be closer to your god to whom you always bow down to so that you may know your place – you are nothing you piece of shit – this something that is the everything as it arose from the Infinite is a nothing, so learn you bastard, learn so that you may evolve and be something.


That was the Game, and any fool could see that it was bullshit beyond, but if you cannot be, where you cannot think clearly and know yourself, you have no choice but to take the hand that leads you, because now you are blinded, and you cannot see.


What a friggin’ disaster.


This translucent toxic venom of the Serpent is removed from the presence of Consciousness now, and the static effects of this venom around Consciousness is grounded now so that the halo of the poison may also no longer remain.

Now you can be yourself my friend. Now can you see. Now you can feel and enter Home, where there you go now to know and be yourself.

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When you do a job, when do you know it is complete, as in when do you walk away from the job? For me, in a natural, Beautiful world, it is when you get paid, and by “paid” we imply you are given thanks for what you have given. This thanks can come in all shapes and sizes, and you the giver do not give to get, but what happens is the receiver naturally passes on to you. When you feel this thanks in your heart from the receiver to whom you have given, that is when what you done has made a full circle and is complete, where your job; your task is complete.


And that is when this journal is complete. It is not complete when I feel there is nothing more to say or understand, because all that highlights is the fool that I am, where I truly know nothing, because what is out there is bigger than you and me, so take away the I and the me to be one with the All. In this state you know, and from here you go back to the very beginning to return to what should be.


When the Infinite touches me, and I feel this experience that is now a permanent, everlasting fixture within my existence, that is when this journal is complete. In me being touched, this means that all within the seen and unseen have gone through the same experience, and that is when my job is complete, because we are all in this mess together. Most don’t care because the mess does not touch them directly, where the norm for them is Life is shit but its okay. Having a few beers on a Friday afternoon after work is all we need to balance the scales, where now Life is once again okay. I am not knocking anyone out there, as it is not for me to judge – I just feel we should have tried harder to be kinder to ourselves and others. This place is a fucking dump, splattered with unbelievable Beauty here and there – it’s just a pity we could not remain in that Beauty rather than have to return to the job, and the System centered around the job.


If you were blind, and now you can see, what impact would this have on your existence? What new world would be unfolding to you with each passing moment? When the prodigal Son/Daughter returns Home after being lost within the wastelands, what joy do they feel, as do those who Love them?

On both accounts, what was is no longer there, where something new – something that is natural – returns to their Lives, where now they are complete, and there is nothing really more to say and do, so they merely be what they are.

When the blind can see, and the lost child is Home, you and I will feel and know of this, and in that moment you will understand that your task is complete, where what you feel is a form of payment, saying that what should be is done and complete.


I truly believe that that day is in our midst, waiting to touch us.

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To say that our spirit has not been compromised throughout the ages, through deceitful manipulations, as well as being panelbeated from surviving in a madhouse, well, let’s just say that is an understatement. The one generation did not uplift the next, and I would say a big contributing factor is the plasticity of the worlds, where what we wear, and how we look on a photo that we took of ourselves – these attributes have made our skin paper-thin, where little depth of culture and self is found within us. Instead, we steer towards the mentality of a child, where loud rock music and our team winning is what defines us the wasted space.

And of course there are many that do their bit by doing their best, but our world leaders don’t do their part, where what works they destroy. What is blatantly obvious is stupidity is not at hand here – what you see is the satanist, where those that occupy the halls of government and the first-class lounges at the airports wish to destroy this world and all that is good therein. That puppet-head that rules the country is the pawn for the satanistic order that is showing itself with each passing day. The joke is these puppets, as well as those that rule over them are merely pawns to shut down and let rot this corner of the illusion in the seen and unseen.


Understand one thing: Here in the illusion we all lose – every single one of us. This place is not a Game – it is a suicide mission where we all Fall to our demise; every single one of us in the seen and unseen.

But that’s okay Steven, because my son made the football team and I got a raise, so family is pumped. Life is good.


To hear this the obvious of how bad it is out there is not something I wish to waste my time about, rather I would like a solution. To us the dense body form, we need help, and that help comes from our Consciousness as well as our spirit. There are the drivers who can see over the horizon, so when they are okay, then we the dense body form have a platform from which to find our happiness.

Once again: To say that there are a few drawers missing in the cupboard that is the spirit is an understatement. Here I speak for myself, because for others I cannot comment. What I see out there is the baby – the one who finds humour in the silly; the one who takes the blatantly obvious to heart and pulls it apart to show the world their intelligence; the one who finds the pleasure in the high of drugs and alcohol to show how hip they are. And then of course there is the brute, who plod from A to B and that is Life, and boy is it good!


Man-oh-man, I don’t belong here, and I honestly doubt if I can even enjoy myself here. I cannot speak for others, so I speak for myself when I say my spirit needs to return to a full set of drawers bacause I am tired and I need help.

Through the eyes of Consciousness the spirit is seen, and there is no hard-drive/”brain” that is plugged into the heart energy field. We came here to think, and in never finding an answer, I would say we just shut off and got on with surviving. Let’s keep it simple; let’s keep it basic: Is my belly full? Do I have clothes to wear? Am I serviced now and then to meet the high of the orgasm? If all is well on these departments, then all is well. Remember, don’t overthink it; let’s keep it simple, this survival mode. And so the plastic bears fruit to bring forth more plastic, and we wonder why Life is so fucked up.

The satanists wanted to get a hold of this mess, where in this havoc let’s do our part to speed up the process of our and alls demise. Let’s give it stick to those that do their best, because these bright Beautiful spirits we don’t want because they remind us of what we should be, and that shame we have brought to ourselves is too much to bear, so kill the fuckers so that we can be happy believing we are okay.


Have I mentioned that I don’t belong here?


From the fields of Infinite Love, this Love that is enters our heart energy field, and from there it travel via the throat to the head region. The throat area has major Endocrine glands, which are valves/filters/transmittors to diffuse the Infinite from the spirit to the body form, and from there throughout these two bodies to permeate them.

What was in the brain was our rationale – this us making plans to survive. Unfortunately we devolved, not evolved, so let’s try a different approach, where from the heart field the Infinite touches the head space of us the spirit and body form. Let’s not worry too much about filling in those missing drawers; let’s just climb in the elevator with the flow of Consciousness and the Infinite.


We the spirit have been battered and bruised by being in a place where we don’t belong, and for fucks sakes, we need help.

My advice is sweep everything off the table so you are left with a blank slate. We know nothing, but the Infinite and our Consciousness does. Allow them to lead the way while we the spirit and body form take a back seat. Let go to embrace this Love that you are.

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If my animals cannot speak, then how do I know they love me? The answer is because they are really glad to see me when I get home. It is not that they want something from me – it is just me; they are happy from the joy of seeing me.


And that is what Love is – where you make me happy by me being around you. It is not what I can get from you; it is just you, where what you are brings me joy.


This whole sex thing just complicated matters, and really has nothing to do with Love. We think it does, but it doesn’t. We view sex as an expression of our Love for each other, but what sex is, is the high to feed the illusion and the Beasts therein.

I remember writing in the journal years ago of my bewildered experience when we arrived at our holiday destination after an ardious drive. I was absolutely exhausted after the trip, and yet there, as I sat at the edge of the bed ready to slump into a deep sleep, there I sat with an erection. How is that possible, I asked myself, where I can go to full mast when the ship is broken? When I closed my eyes to sleep, there was the answer suspended midair in the room. She was a female Beast, and her presence was larger than life, meaning she was a most powerful entity. There she waited for the energy from the high of the orgasm, as it was she who imposed the will within me to get a hard-on.


It is scary stuff, this sex thing. Be careful who you fuck, because what monster dwells within them goes directly into you during the sex act, where now they have a new host to live in.


Sex was our release valve – our letting off steam – in this place that never made sense. It was a pleasure in this place that had little to offer, but if you are wise, avoid the high and stick with the constant. Know what Love is. “For fucks sakes, it is really good to see you!” That is Love, where your sheer presence uplifts me to remind me of the Love that I am that I have for you and myself.


How sad it is that if it wasn’t for the animals, there is no one else for me to express this state of Love. We are all just too volatile – yo-yo’s spinning up and down, never knowing what mood will hit you at any given moment.

Those that bark a few syllabils; those that grunt a few words as this sound tries to escape the frown and disgrumpled look on their face – that about them? Not everyone knows how to communicate. Not everyone knows how to be kind, and this we understand. It is remarkable how forgiving we can be when we see one that doesn’t know how, but tries their best. When we see one that fucked up and is truly remorseful for what they have done, we do find pity and we do forgive. And to these we embrace, because we are them, because we, like them, are not perfect.


It is to those that continue to bark and scowl and don’t try and be anything else but nasty that one needs to sit down and find an answer so that being around these unpleasant beings does not influence us directly. To Love them is unrealistic because they don’t want this, so what you do in their presence is Love yourself, where at all times your dignity and self-respect is on high alert, where it never waivers because it is rock solid.


Why do I say all of this? It is because we are all looking for Love, and yet so few know what Love is, and maybe that is because in this illusion we are so detached from what is important. Sharing is what counts, and what sharing is, is me seeing you and you seeing me, and boy, isn’t that wonderful – to be in the space as the same frequency as yours, where we baske in the Infinite that we are.

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No Man or Woman is an island – we cannot do this alone because our natural essence is to share this what we are. This we have forgotten, and unless this universal trait is understood and acknowledged, we are going nowhere but to our demise.


What I find interesting is that there is nothing more left inside of me. Normally when you are tired you go lie down and have a rest, recharge your batteries, and feel better afterwards. This is no longer the case with me, where I am beyond tired – there is nothing more left inside; no more energy to draw from to get on with Life.

It is also bloody fucking dangerous, because if you do not keep your wits about you accidents will happen.

This journal was written for all, and now there is nothing left for me. It has taken so much out of me. I cannot even go into the stillness of the silence to assess how Sophia and Semiramis are.

No Man or Woman is an island, but now I am on one because I have no energy left for anyone, including myself. I write these things down to look for an answer, and the only answer is Consciousness stepping in and this spirit and body form shutting down.




Last night as my body slept my spirit went to another world. It was a bushveld of sorts, and I was hanging out with a group of Human-looking spirits. They had what looked like a pre-historic hyena and its cub as a pet. This animal would now and then place my forearm in its mouth as a token of affection, where I felt the presence that was the crushing power of its jaw that was always there at hand to be released. This group showed me where this thin, green snake lived, and the snake came out to say hello to me, where I stroked its body to say hello to it. This snake did not like one of the men standing there, so departed when it saw him. The one guy in the group was riding someone elses horses, and I knew the horses were in pain and needed my help, but this guy never bridged the gap for me to assist them. When I saw him I gave him a flat-hand to his right jaw that rattled his body to one side.

Then I was shown a dwelling which the leader of the group built – he was in about his thirties. The terrain moved to semi-arid, and where we walked we saw about fifteen termites that were thirsty. We placed them in water so that they may drink, and after a few seconds began to lift them out the water with the tip of our fingers.


Then my spirit came back to my body lying in bed, and my body turned itself on my back, and through my Third Eye I saw this man kneeling in front of me. Behind him was a female. Their skins were a light brown, and between their chin and mouth were patterns painted. These two had a big smile on their faces, especially the guy, who was tickled pink by the goings on around him, and what this was, was he placed his pet lizard on my chest. “He likes you” he told me, as this broad, flat, thick lizard tooked on at me.


Woke up this morning and went about my dad chores packing luch for the kids and preparing breakfast. When I saw the growl of my youngest daughter when I innocently told her something, I had a revelation which I had to share with them.

In my fifty six years I have seen what few, if any have seen, but the ugliest thing I have ever seen is seeing those you Love speak to you with hatred in their hearts and souls. I told my two children that they are ugly – inside and out, and this is not Steven having a bad day that is speaking. What I say is the truth.


About twenty years ago I remember treating this hob-nob ladies horse in the stable adjacent to her million dollar house. She stood there in the stable and kept on implying that I am stupid, and her horse thinks I am stupid as well. This was the foundation of this lady coming out, where others irritate her immensly because they are stupid.


I am not that. I do not consider myself above others. I do not look down on others, where I feel and know I am better than them. What I am, is I am realistic. I see the fuck-nuts in the other worlds my spirit travels too; I see the simplistic stupidity of those spirits who come to visit me from other dimensions, and I ask myself what is this all about? I see the moments of hatred my children have for me, when all I do is my best to make sure I always keep my side clean and be the best father I can be, and I wonder why is Love so scarce in the illusion? When I went for a walk with the dogs in the park this morning, and people walk past me, I expect the worst, because all I meet in the seen and unseen are not kind, where their simplistic or hatred nature, or their couldn’t care less attitude detaches them from what is real.


Kelly’s Treehouse posted the saying: “People say you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. The truth is, you know exactly what you had, you just never thought you’d lose it.”

And that is so true of the Love that we are. We put it aside, knowing it is there and can be taken back at any time, where now we put our gloves and war-paint on to go and play dirty, and in no time we lost this Love that we are.

For those that still have it, when others don’t want your Love, you have to hold onto this that you are and Love yourself, where you keep your dignity and self-respect, but I will tell you what really fucks you up, and that is the isolation. That is bad.


There is a room that needs to be tiled as the carpet looks bad. Yesterday went to a tile shop, and amongst all the tiles there I saw this one that was a massive slab of a job. It was not double, as in twice my budget – it was eleven and a half times my budget. It was a black slab with lighter shades scratched into it. I stood in front of that tile and I received what no entity in the seen or unseen has yet to give me, which was an upliftment. In that tile I saw the wonders of the Infinite, and I felt the energy attraction between me and that tile in some tile shop in the middle of town.


The point to make, is maybe we are looking for the Love that we are in the wrong place. Maybe we should look to the Infinite, rather than to our own who have lost the Love that they are and have no desire to get it back.

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Believe it or not, I prefer to be positive rather than negative, but in this case, being negative means being realisitic. There is so much that is wrong with the illusion, and you can tell me that equally so, there is so much that is good, but what you don’t understand is that the bad is really bad, and it has gotten worse, not better, since its conception.

In our quest to survive and be happy we never had the foresight or energy to look within at the plight of others, be they nature or the animals or some lost young girl between the frequencies of the worlds. We never looked for the sake of our self-preservation, because if we saw, we would be floored by the enormity of the task of restoring disharmony to harmony, so we looked away to keep our sanity and happiness intact, leading a delusional Life where I am okay so everything else must be okay as well.


This journal has been super-intense, because in the core of the illusion – the Reptilian frequency – you get a serious wake up call as to what is ruling over us, as well as what is our role within the illusion. When you see the Beast, there is no turning back, where you have to understand what happened that things went so horribly wrong. I saw the Beast first in the seen realm, in those I Loved and in total strangers – these the cruel just because they can be. My health at the time failed so I could not counter them and put them in their place, where all I could do from my broken status is look and ask myself what the hell is going on? Why is Life so cruel? Above anything else, this I had to understand, and to cut to the chase, my Third Eye opened so that I could see the root cause of our dilemma, namely the Beasts from the Reptilian frequency that ruled over us. Now it was my job to understand what happened to my fellow brother and sister that they became the Beast, as well as to stay alive, because I was not allowed to see these Monsters that ruled over us. How funny it is that we Humans believe we are at the top of the food chain here on this planet, where all we are is a food source to despicable, cruel entities that dwell in a dimension close to ours. That is funny! Talk about being knocked down to size and being humbled, where our importance disappears from the reality check of what our Life is all about.


So I knuckled down to understand the cruelty of Life, all the while the attacks by the Beasts in the seen and unseen continued unabated. To the unseen I became immune to their poison, and to the seen I am still in a place where I don’t belong, where maybe an element of guilt creeps in because I am thinking of me and my happiness when I am where I belong. And that guilt is just the selfless Steven, where I understood I cannot be happy as long as others are unhappy.

Over all the years I focused on the unnatural – this vile place the illusionary realm where so many suffer heartache that you and I cannot in our wildest dreams ever imagine. What I never done was focus on the natural – this that is real beyond the illusionary veil, and this I would like to talk about now so that it may be a natural occurance within our existence.


How does one explain the natural, this that is and should be that is naturally there? It is there, it is here, it is everywhere, can’t you see and feel and know it? What is there to explain?

I Love my animals – it is there for all to see, and now you want me to explain this Love to you? How do I do that, because it merely is there, where this is me, where I Love them and they Love me – always and forever more.

What happened was that this natural Love met a phenomena that is unknown, and what this was, was the “I.” “For Gods sakes man, can’t you see that I am important?” When the “I” was born; the Eye of Sauron, we had to bow down to this “I,” and what you and I don’t understand, is this “I” had immense power, where it knew the power of Consciousness and harnessed this power for itself, all the while throwing your Consciousness and mine into a flat spin of not knowing who it was. We that is this original “I” forgot who we are and where our Home is, and this sentence encapsulates why Life became cruel, where those that did know turned the “I” of Consciousness against itself through deceit, and this deceit came to define the illusion, where we the ignorant slave was sown across the galaxies to feed our energy to the illusion and the Beasts that dwelled within the shadows. (The deceit of Consciousness was by the Evil Serpent poisoning Consciousness, making us delirious.) 


Take away the fog – the deceit, and you are left with the original “I” of Consciousness, this natural that they turned to become unnatural. Now you can see. Let me give you an example.


This guy contacted me yesterday from I think somewhere in Scandinavia. His dilemma was that he was alone, where lots of females came his way, but he could never connect with one and make the relationship lasting. Some said he was cursed, so he contacted me for help. When I went into his space I found this large Serpent within his midst. This Snake was alone and lost, so around the presence of this good man, this Snake built a sanctuary to feel safe, and here we are talking about lifetimes together that this mans spirit was not aware of this Serpent in his presence. (Maybe it was, I don’t know.)

When I went into the space of this Beautiful Serpent, it saw everything that I have come to understand about the unnatural “I,” namely its Consciousness that has been deceived. In seeing the unnatural – this that does not belong – it fell away to reveal the natural “I,” and in that moment I felt this Snake depart this mans spirit and go to where it belongs, which is the fields of Infinite Love. (No other spirit or person could enter this mans space because there literally was no place for them as the Serpent within was huge and there was no space for another frequency to connect to this mans frequency and get to know him. And besides, the Snake wanted to be alone as this made it feel safe.)


That example is the simplicity of I don’t know, and now I do, so I return to my natural state. In understanding the unnatural, it falls away as it does not belong, and then one sees and be’s what naturally is. That is what has happened to your Consciousness and mine, where it sees the manipulation and deceit, and from here this falls away to reveal the natural state of we the I.

What is left now is for the spirit to look into this shining Light so that the spirit may see itself, where what you see is real and not the illusion.


Now you tell me, what more is there to say? When the spark/Light of Consciousness shines on the spirit, all that should be returns, where we go from survival mode to joy mode, and this has a knock-on effect on us the dense body form. These sequence of events are natural, where we the spirit and body form begin to see the Infinite that is the Home of Consciousness that is within us.

Two days back when I looked into that tile in the tile shop, what I saw was the presence of the All that is everywhere, where in that moment the original “I” of Consciousness made itself known to me the spirit and body form. “Look Steven, what you see is my Home which is me where I belong where I am right now.”


The more the Light shines, the more we will see and know this what we are, and that is now the illusion will fall apart, where eventually there is nothing else left but this Light that is Consciousness, being where it belongs in the fields of Infinite Love.

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And of course there is something more to say, for which we are thankful, as this takes us one step closer to what is natural.


It’s always a bugger when you can help others, but you cannot help those closest to you, and let’s just say that this is a real confidence breaker, but that’s okay, because I do my best and do all I can. When the pieces on the board align, the truth will be revealed, and there is nothing we can do until this moment happens because what is happening out there is bigger than you and me. This illusion was orchestrated into chaos, hence the cock-sure attitude of those in charge in the unseen, where with confidence they can do what they want when they want with no interference from the Infinite. And let’s give them a standing ovation for keeping this slaughter-house, with all its violence and sorrow, let’s applaud them for winning over the innocent. No feel-good Walt Disney happy endings here.


This I would like to stop, because this is not me. This is not my Game, it is theirs, and on behalf of the innocent, the curtain is raised and the lights are turned on and we go Home to where we naturally belong. The health of my wife not improving tells me I am missing something, and what it is I intend to find out now, because what affects her affects all of us, where disharmony from the shadows still has the upper hand.


When I go into the stillness of the silence, and from there into her space, this strong presence is felt in her left hand, and this same presence touches her right fingers, where some are touched more than the others. I need to know what this is, where it feels like she is held in a space that holds her by the hands. Please understand that this touches all of us, and not just my wife.

Now this force in her hands comes alive and moves within her. Oh man, what is going on? Am tired of playing Sherlock Homes.


When I go into the space of this force within her hands to understand it, what it can be likened to is a sponge, where when it comes alive and moves, what it is doing, is automatically sucking up our Life-force. So when our energy builds up, this presence comes alive to absorb our energy so that we are always on a constant – and here we are talking about our core energy; the energy that we receive from our Consciousness.

What happens to this energy that once was ours? In the presence of this force/sponge, our energy becomes processed and stored into what feels like a nuclear reactor ball that begins rotating, and this condensed ball of our energy provides the Life-force of the illusion, and I say this because I feel my left eye – which represents the illusionary words – become ice cold. We in the illusionary worlds are the Life-force for this presence.


From where does this sponge force lie within the illusion? From my lower left leg I feel this force come alive and swim like a shark that has just smelled blood towards the left eye. This sponge force is the illusion – it is the framework of the System, and you and I and all the worlds in the seen and unseen are but a speck within the power and presence of this Machine. This is the true Parasite – this Machine that sucks the Life-force from us. And for Pete’s sakes, this makes so much sense, because how can a fool-proof System rely on the emotions of those in the illusion, as well as their pissy little orgasms?  We the spirit and body form are one grain of sand on a beach that is as far and wide as the eye can see. The rest of the grains of sand that encompass the whole beach that we receive from Consciousness is us, but this is absorbed by the Machine – whose presence I feel in the right, but primarily the left hand of my wife. And I stress, this is in all, and I say this because if her health problem was just hers I would have solved the problem, but what she has is bigger than you and me and all of us, hence it affects us all.


That is why you and I remain the dummy. We know what we are is there, but we remain three dimensional. From the Infinite that is Consciousness there is no time and no space, there merely is, but this we never witness as what the Consciousness passes onto us is absorbed by the Machine that is the illusion.


And even here, ask yourself why this Machine allows me to feel it so that it may be known? It is bigger than me, where I am but an infinite pawn in its infinite cogs, so why come out into the open where we see this the Parasite that is the illusion? I truly believe, that like you and me, it is tired of the Game – of being unnatural. So we give this the Machine our Love so that it may remember the Love that it is, where it returns Home and there it stays.If our world is one of countless that exist within the left eye, the core of the Machine dwelled in the lower left leg, and I say this because of the activity that is felt there. This core returns Home, and in doing so, the Machine/illusion no longer has a power source, and may thus dismantle on its own accord. As long as the core of the Machine was being fed, we were going nowhere, because remember, this journal is for all in the illusion. It was never about you and me, but everyone.


An ice-cold presence is felt in the left lower leg, and this is the Life-force that fed the Machine that lived off of our Consciousness essence that should have been passed to us the spirit and body form. Now the whole left leg moves like a galaxy that passes and twirls within the endless ages of time, and what this shift does, is rearrange the mind, where activity is felt in the brain. All that has ever been known within the illusion becomes dismantled to make way for the stillness of the silence that is the Infinite. The illusionary images that became set in stone become no more, and there once again the sponge force is felt in the hands, where it took from this that is ours. This presence departs the hands, and what was in the left lower leg is no more.


How fast the illusionary Machine now falls apart within your existence depends on you. Reclaim the Love that you are, which means you acknowledge and be the Consciousness around which you were manufactured. In losing our Love we forgot how to be kind, where cruelty was all we knew. We could not even talk to others in a kind way, where always there had to be a fight or ridicule on the cards. We sold our soul for spotlights and fan-fare, and this we loved, this emperor with no clothes that we became, where all we had was our belief that we are truly the exalted ones.


What a sad, pitiful show it must have been to those in the Infinite who offered their help but were shoe-shoed away so that we may baske in our glory.

And you have to admit, what a funny sight we must have been. Pity about the innocent though, who got slaughtered and fucked up so that we may continue to perform.


Shows over boys and girls. Now we face the reality of what we allowed ourselves to become.


Jesus wept, and so will we.



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What is the core of the Machine that is the illusion? When I closed my eyes to see, what I saw was a broken orange-red ball – broken as in it had holes in it.


What is the end result of survival? – It is being safe.

When we found ourselves in this place where we don’t belong, we began our survival, and the first criteria to survival is build a homestead where you belong and are safe. Just as smoke rises from the fire you have built, so too did the frequency of a home rise from our intent and purpose to build a home. The smoke frequency from our fire frequency created and built the Machine that is the illusion, and at the Machines core, as well as ours, was our need to feel safe. As long as we are safe, we are okay. And this safe feeling had to always be fed for us to be okay, thus the feeding from our Consciousness by the core of the Machine.

Ask me what this Steven longs for every second of every day, and it is a home with double-glazed doors and windows to keep out any noise from the outside, where this house is in an estate where rules are regulations are met so that people are forced to behave themselves.


All I want, is to be safe from the madness that is everywhere, and this need to be safe is at your core as well, and I say this because this Safe frequency resides within the core of the Machine of the illusion, within which you dwell.

Why do we need to be safe? Obviously, because we are lost. When I saw this orange-red glowing ball that I felt in the lower left leg of the Machine, what I also felt was the Fibonacci code extending from the right corner of my mouth. This code represents the lost state frequency of Consciousness. When I saw and felt the Lost state of the core of the Machine, this code disappeared, meaning the Safe state of the Machine was no longer lost, and what this means – this not being lost – was that the core of the Machine that is the illusion no longer needed our energy to feel Safe because now it knew itself and where it belongs.


Understand that the framework of this orange-red ball is a Homestead, and permeating this ball is the orange-red colour that represents “you are safe.”

With its lost state no longer there, this core of the Machine opens itself up to the Blackness/All of the Infinite so that it may be Home. For me and you to feel safe, we have to be one with the Infinite that we are, as now we are Home – with no double-glazed windows or doors necessary. Heal the core of the Machine that is the illusion, and you heal all within the illusion, because now we do not have to work so bloody hard at feeling safe, where our emotions take a back seat and are replaced by a knowing. Where I am is the Infinite, and thus I am no longer lost and afraid.


Heal the core of the illusion, and you heal all therein.  


It’s funny that a few weeks ago I had to paint certain walls of the property as well as the house an orange colour. That’s funny, where on a deep level I must have felt this illusion encroaching upon me, and more than anything, for the sake of my sanity, I had to feel safe. Never did I know that I mimicked the colour of the core of the Machine that is the illusion – this ball of energy that we feed so that we may feel safe. And here understand that the Machine did not take our energy – we that is Consciousness willingly gave it away to feed our state of “I am safe.”

Take away everything, and all we want is to feel safe, where this is greater than our need to be loved. If someone loves us, now we feel safe, so our safety was always our priority in this place where we don’t belong.


What happens from here?

You tell me.

What happens when the orange-red Safe frequency at the core of the Machine is replaced by the Blackness of the All of the Infinite? – The answer is the Infinite permeates the Machine that is the illusion, and more and more, with each passing day, we experience this our Home as we are touched by it.


For fucks sakes, wouldn’t that be something, where it is good to see you, this that I am.


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Ask yourself what we could have done differently to make this illusion a better place. My answer to that is nothing could be done to make our stay here an enjoyable one. You see, we don’t belong here. Take away all the layers and what is left is Consciousness, this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness that dwells within all. This that we are does not belong in an illusion, so the goose-down pillows and caviar could and would not appease this child of the Infinite. We that is Consciousness belong in our Home the fields of Infinite Love. So hanging around here to make sure the beers are cold and the steak is cooked medium-rare done little for this God-force within.

All we could do was get out of this place and go Home, and how is this done you may ask yourself? The only way was to hold hands and do it together, because the task was bigger than any one individual. When I asked why Life is so cruel, I would say the answer was we lost interest in this Consciousness/Love that we are, and this was not our fault because Consciousness was ensnared in a Game of learn and evolve.

Just learn, sure it is tough and so unjust, but you will see the big picture that God is good. Oh wow, even for Consciousness in its delusional state that line must have weared thin very quickly, where there really was not an answer to being the peace that we are.


The bugger up is Consciousness was poisoned by the frequency of the Evil Serpent, and in this punch-drunk state it never knew if it was Artha or Martha. And that is why I say we could have done nothing differently to have made this illusion a better place, because being where you do not belong opens yourself up to the abnormal, and this involves deceit, where the unnatural meets the unnatural and in no time insanity and cruelty is seen as the norm.


The only solution was group-hugs, where we stand as one to get out. Why did this never work? I would say this was so because from the shadows were those watching our every move. What we never knew was we are in their Game, which is a game of deceit, of which the Beast was a master. So to be natural/Love in an unnatural place never worked because we never saw the devil – these Beasts in the unseen that watch and know our every move.

In hindsight I must have known this, so I took the fight to them, where I went into their world and said hello boys and girls, what is going on here? From my part there was no hush-hush, let’s do this to get that. I walked into the Reptilian frequency and looked these fuckers in the eye and said my goodness me, you are a bunch of ugly mother-fuckers, what happened that you allowed yourselves to fall so low?


Can you imagine this runt Steven walking into the den of Beasts alone? Can you imagine what they would have done to this wasted space? So before I walked in I had to be prepared, and what I had was the Love of the animals with me. For all those nights that I lay in bed and felt the Snakes penetrate and attack me and felt the blows of the cosmic assassins, I filled myself with the Love of the animals and this got me through, where this Love is too much for these Beasts so they have to depart my space. What they had, which I never did, was time, where slowly but surely the attacks wore me down until I was ripe for the plucking. Luckily for me I became immune to their poison, where it either killed me or it didn’t – it was a 50/50 and a chance I was willing to take, because to do nothing was never an option.

What I also had, besides the Love and guidance of the spirit animals, was the green light from Queen Semiramis. She allowed me to explore for a way out, where I used her name to gain access to the cosmic laboratories to see how Life is created/manufactured here in the illusion. But from her side I was alone, where she had no interest in my affairs because during those days she was truly insane, as well as ruthless, where the Love within her was all but forgotten as she tried to restore order to the madness within the illusion.


I see those I pass and meet as I get on with life, and what I have come to understand is we don’t know what it means to be kind. Cruelty and abruptness is the norm, and kindness requires conscious effort. Why is this so? I would say not having a role-model was a major factor, where there was none to lead by example. The cultured intellectual had no weapon against the cruel that roamed the illusion, because if they had a weapon, they would become like the brute standing in front of them. It always comes back to being where we don’t belong, where that good being does not deserve to be in the presence of the cruel buffoon.


We had to get out, but how? What would have helped was being honest with ourselves, where we see what we are, rather than what we believe ourselves to be. To see our faults and want to do something about them would have been a good start in walking Home.

If anything drove me, it was the will to be more than what I am, where all I wanted was to be the real me, and not some lost, lonely individual who always feels like a fish out of water in this strange place, where I gasp for breaths trying to survive in this awful place where I don’t belong. And that for me was the biggest cruelty of them all: Keeping us in this cage where we don’t belong.


So it was never this soft-cock Steven. Look to the title of this journal – “What the Animals Taught Me” – and you will get an idea of who was the author of this journey of self-discovery.


To these my friends I am eternally thankful.

8:48 AM 24/5/2024

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For the illusion to function, the controllers thereof required one criteria, where without this function their System would fall apart – literally. This falling part was not a paving for the natural to rise as it naturally should. You could liken us in the illusion to a ship in the middle of the ocean, where the shore was our Home where we belong. So here in the illusion our plan had to work out, otherwise the ship/System would sink and all would be lost, the reason being because we are away from the shore/Infinite.

These cruel, calculated Monsters that kept us in the illusionary cage done everything they could to keep us here, but as said, for their plan to work, they relied on us doing our part, where if we did not, all would fail, and we and their System would have a cataclysm and fall apart, and believe you me, them, us and their System would not rise again.


What they needed from us was our will to survive. Without that, there could be no balance – no ying and yang, no left and right, no good and bad, no light and darkness.


Over the last few months something has unnerved me, where what I see has not been there before, where the parameters of me being safe are no longer up. Something has entered my space, something awful that I look at with disgust, but I don’t know what it is.

What I also see around me lately is trees that are dying and birds that are not well.


Yesterday I discussed the plight of Africa, where every second country on the continent is truly fucked up. Why is this so? The answer came today, where like many other parts of the world, Africa has lost its intellect. What intellect is, is common sense, and what common sense is, is look after yourself because you are the best and only deserve the best. In order to look after yourself, look after all around you, because no man/woman is an island, where the cycle of Life has to be met and understood, where if this cycle is not there, then neither are we.


Why did we lose our intellect? The answer is because we stopped caring about others and ourselves, and the base foundation of caring is our survival, where whether I like it or not, I need you and you need me, so let’s be adults with self-respect and integrity and do what is best for all. This we stopped doing a long time ago,and what we never knew, was this illusion was an Intellectual ship, where the Serpents came here to ponder and ask who they are. This illusion with all its worlds in the seen and unseen is not the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis – it is an Intellectual realm, where if you don’t apply your intellect for the simple, basic task of survival, well, that is when the ship begins to sink.


For those Beasts within the unseen realms, this is an open hunting season, where more and more our space is being breached and we are falling, but this time it is not a fall to a denser realm, it is a literal fall, where our health will drop as a weakness sets within us. (This I feel in me already as the System around me has started to fall.)

What I saw, starting a few months back, that began to unnerve me, was this infiltration into all the realms of the illusion by the Beasts that know we are floored, so they can enter our space and do with us at will. But is is more than that, where as the System falls apart, so too arises a heightened frenzy within them to become worse than what they were, where the fall of the System now creates a free for all, where they attack primarily because this is their nature, and because their nature is now in overdrive, it is now a random, meaningless hit everything you can just because you can.


And this is why the trees and the birds are suddenly dying around me, where I see the fall of the System through our lack of self-respect, where I no longer care – not even about survival, where now, in this moment, that is all that matters. Tomorrow is not important, because I could not care if there is a tomorrow or not, and why this is so, is because I do not do my part to meet this place where I am, where I no longer think and have common sense and intellect.


That is how low we have fallen, and this is what I saw over the last few months, where the System is falling apart and we are sinking with it. And believe you me, somewhere in the far reaches of this Steven I must have known this day was on the cards, hence the frenzy to complete this journal.


We are so fucking stupid we can’t even see our final demise as it stares us in the face and begins to destroy us. Well Steven, those beers are still cold, and that’s all that matters brother, so chill.


To those that have held onto their intellect, fill yourself with culture to keep yourself afloat. The massive tree that is dying on my property I played classical/instrumental music to earlier on to keep it alive. But primarily, replace the orange-red “I am Safe” frequency within the lower left leg of the Machine of the illusion with the state of the Infinite. You are the illusion, meaning the illusion is within you, so the Machine is within you.


The Illusionary illusion is falling apart in a bad way, so jump and bail ship by allowing the Infinite to permeate you, where as one illusion falls apart, I believe a draw-bridge will be spun to the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis.


That is what happens when you stop caring you dumb fucks: You fall away and become the nothing that you are, where you have no Consciousness. Nothing! And the most scariest thing of all, is we are okay with this. In understanding that, you will understand we have finally hit rock-bottom, and now its time to abandon ship.

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For whom I write is the unseen, where what happens to the spirit and Consciousness has a knock-on effect on the dense body form. It is in the unseen that the Game is orchestrated – deep within its shadows, so to change the Game one has to transform the unseen, and what this means is get out to where you belong.


So what is currently happening in the unseen?

The left eye represents the Intellectual/Analytical illusion with all the worlds therein in the seen and unseen, and believe you me, the numbers of frequencies/worlds is mind-boggling. Of the ones I have been to, some are similar to ours, and others are Planet of the Apes and King Kong wild stuff, where your instinctive reflex is you belong here, where the animals or ethnic tribes have the sway of the lands. All were trapped in this Game that they came to see as this is all there is, where our purpose is but survival.

Finding the core of the Machine of the illusion – this orange-red “I feel Safe” frequency ball – was the game-changer, because when you know of the nuclear reactor that drives the illusion, as well as knowing what should be, now the Game can be swung around to what should be. Replace the core of the Machine with the Infinite and what is returns to what should be.

From the left eye a line is drawn to the right eye, and what the right eye is, is the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis. Within you and me is the illusionary realms and the control towers that governed us. Beyond what you would view as you is the fields of Infinite Love. Take away you, the illusion, and what is left is what is real; the Infinite, and just as we the spirit and body form is an inhabitant of the illusion, so too is Consciousness local to the Infinite. So the trick is for us the spirit and body form to become less dense, where we disappear until all that is left is what is real rather than illusionary. And this is where the Garden of Semiramis comes into play, of which I cannot comment as I have not been to this dwelling that represents the right eye of the illusion. If this Queen created this Garden from the inspiration of seeing what Sophia created for the Dragon spirits within the Infinite, then truly this place must be a utopia – a true heaven here within the illusion.


The disaster would have been us trapped here in the Analytical illusion as it falls apart, which has begun a few months ago, but with a doorway to another realm, this falling apart of the illusion in the left eye gives us a push to where we belong to become less dense – the Garden depicted in the right eye. All I can comment about this shift is what I see as my body sleeps at night. Last night I saw how my spirit healed, and I saw myself driving in a car, with maniacs driving around me. When I came around a bend there were crashed cars piled upon one another and debri everywhere. I moved past this chaos, and I knew I was leaving the chaos of the Intellectual worlds behind.

That might be good to know, but how are we the dense body form affected? What I say here is not what is happening to me, but to all that wish to return to where they belong, where this collective moves as one to the less dense realm of the Garden. There is an element of peace returning to Steven, and I say this because of what I see during my sleep state, where what was in the unseen is no more, where now I see the old break apart – this house of cards that comes a tumbling down. To so many their vanity kept them together, and with this wisp of a trait no longer being there as the Intellectual illusion breaks, I believe their reality check of who and what they are will be shocking, frightening, and on a time scale, it will be within a few weeks that the rev counter is in the red and in overdrive. You don’t want to be around when that boiler explodes, so always make sure you are moving to where you belong – this less dense illusion of Semiramis. I will be so bold as to say allow the spirit and Consciousness about four weeks to be fully intergrated into this frequency, and when they are, that is when you the body will feel and live the effects of this less dense plane wherein your higher selves reside.


Every day for over six years now I looked on the internet for a house that I can call a home – my sanctuary/safe-haven. This I have never found, and I understand now why this is so. It is because this place cannot be found in the Intellectual/Analytical illusion. Firstly, because it was just a matter of when this place falls apart, and secondly, because this frequency is too dense to bring forth the natural peace that we are. So when I do move home it will not be to a different planet – it will be to a different frequency state which is less dense than the one we have lived in since before the beginning of time. What will keep me and you in this less dense state is our spirit and Consciousness who are now in this Garden of the Queen. (As the old falls away it will no longer be a part of our existence.)

But we stress – this place is just a stepping stone for Consciousness to collect and find itself. From there we the unseen become one with Consciousness to return to the Infinite where we belong. Any remnant of this awful place will no longer be, because that was just an illusion.

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As I closed my eyes to sleep last night I saw the Blackness of the All/Infinite, and within it I saw the orange-red coloured frequency ball of the “I am safe” frequency – this antidote to the survival mode that coursed through us the illusionary frequency. What I was shown was a red coloured face on the other side of this ball that looked into this orange ball. This red face gave this orange coloured frequency ball its orange-red tint, and when I looked at the face, it was the face of the devil/satan.


I remember saying in the journal there was never a big, bad Devil, but I was wrong. Looking into and being one with the “I am safe” frequency was this satan figure. So ask yourself how safe were we with this “I am safe” frequency that we fed our precious energy to? Holding your blankie or sucking on your dummy created an element of soothing within you, but you also allowed the Devil frequency in, meaning the fox was in the chicken coop and it was a free for all, where our element of safety – this net that we spun around ourselves – actually meant nothing.


Our base foundation here in the Intellectual illusion was uncertainty. The Serpents came here to ponder. Who am I and where do I belong? Unfortunately for us they never found an answer, where it went from bad to worse as deceit took over this place and began to control it. I truly believe that this doubt – this not knowing who they are – is the core state of this Intellectual/Analytical illusion, where codes define this frequency, where one plus one always equals two. What we left out of the equations was the heart energy field, which was and is the root of us that is Consciousness, so one plus one actually equals whatever you imagine it to be, where nothing is clear cut and as it should be, because our possibilities are as endless as the Infinite is wide.

So you can tell me there is goodness within you, as well as uncertainty, so where is this Goodness/God? Our uncertainty created a “smoke” frequency from which this Devil was born, so where is our God of Goodness that we also are? This never was, because as said, the base foundation of this very real Devil/satan was our Uncertainty of finding ourselves/Consciousness in a place where we don’t belong, and our base foundation of a God of Love was our heart energy field which the Serpents left in the Garden as they came here to think/analyse who and what they are.

We had only one base foundation here in the Analytical illusion, which was Uncertainty, and this “I don’t know who I am” has filtered through the ages. We believe we do know what we are, and what this is, is a title, where with this title comes an element of importance, and from this flows vanity and superiority, which all means nothing because our base foundation is Uncertainty. Thus we are all emperors with no clothes on, where we believe we are something, but actually we are just lost and insecure, making fools of ourselves along the way by believing we know something.

You want to be wrong, so that from this standpoint you can see what is right and what works. You don’t want to believe you are right, because your definition of right is what works for you, where it won’t work for others, or it works for you only now and soon falls apart. So find out what does not work, and when you have exhausted all those avenues, look beyond the Analytical illusion to what is left to try, and ten to one that is the right approach.


Over the last fifteen years or so I have always been quiet in my work, as in see not even a handful of patients a week. This I understand, as the journal was my full-time job, but over the last few months me seeing others has almost come to a complete standstill. What I feel and see in others is unbelievable, and this is my problem: It is unbelievable to others. Why this is so, is because I go beyond the Analytical illusion, where all I wish for is to be me. What I never knew, was this me was the heart energy field, and what this is, is I care. That caring/Love placed into the equation/codes of the Analytical illusion opens yourself up to what is trapped within the numbers/codes of this illusion, and people and spirits cannot comprehend what else lies within a simple mathematical formula. It is unbelievable i.e. it is impossible.


And this is where I stand, where how do you market the unbelievable? Tell someone there is a massive lost Serpent within them and thus no other frequency can enter them to get to know them, and this they cannot understand. And yet the Serpents formed/created this Intellectual illusion – it is their worlds.


When I saw this red coloured face of the Devil looking into the core frequency within the Machine of the illusion, after a short while it looked away and departed the presence of this ball, where all that was left was an orange colour. I believe that before this “I am safe” frequency was taken over by the Devil, these were the times where peace was expressed here in the Analytical/Intellectual illusion. The more uncertain we became, the more this red cloud frequency grew until it mingled with the Orange coloured frequency of peace, until it took this peace over, so we replaced joy with peace, where from joy peace was met. Wrong! You wanted the Orange colour of peace in its isolation, and no other colour, especially the one of red.


Through all of that long-winded whine, what I want to say, is the red colour that gave the “I am safe” frequency its orange-red tint is no longer there.

I watched the Night Stalker documentary on Netflix last night, and what you see in this serial killer is a lost/uncertain child with a full demonic possession within him. What that awful boy is, is a representation of satan – that red coloured face that I saw looking into the “I am safe” frequency and tainting it. This was our home boys and girls, and it was scary shit, because there comes a time when no one is safe – thanks to the direct infiltration of satan into our comfort zone – this core frequency of the Machine that we gave our energy to in order to achieve success in our survival here where we don’t belong.


That dude walked away from the core last night, meaning the base foundation of peace is once again within Consciousness and the spirit, and from this foundation we walk to where our Consciousness takes us, which is to a less dense frequency.

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Here in the Analytical illusion, we soon saw the abnormal as normal, where this abnormal became ingrained within us and a part of our existence.

When your spirit and Consciousness enters the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis – this home away from Home for the heart energy field, what happens here is the abnormal cannot remain in the space of the heart field, so the abnormal departs your space and returns to the Analytical illusion.

Another way of saying what has just been said, is how can you differentiate between the abnormal and normal within a disharmonious frequency i.e. one that is absent of a heart energy field? The answer is you cannot, because here everything is relative. Giving the missus a few slaps now and then may be my way of showing her that I love her and care for her, but to most I am just a piece of rubbish. Here everything is relative – different strokes for different folkes, but in the illusionary Garden it doesn’t work that way, because first and foremost the heart energy field calls the shots, where if what you are does not sing to this song, you cannot enter as your frequency state is too dense.


A lot of us stopped caring for self-preservation, where we had to become hardened to the Analytical/Intellectual illusion. So we do care, but there is nothing we can do about it in this place of survival, so we accept our dense frequency and dumbed down status to survive. This I understand. Earlier on today I  drove past cattle that I assume were on their way to the slaughter house and that cracked me up – they were going to be killed and chopped up for us. I cannot look a bird that is in a cage in the eye because I am ashamed of my species placing it in a confined prison where we think nothing of this.

So how long would we last here if we opened the floodgates and cared as we should? It is when you lose your integrity and don’t care about yourself that doors open for Beasts to enter your realm, where now you are on par with them, where you let go and cannot differentiate what is considerate to others or not.


So you want to heal, then hold onto your integrity and self-respect and enter the illusionary Garden, and the abnormal that we cannot see within us falls away and returns to the Analytical illusion. This is the way your spirit and Consciousness heals.

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As my body lay sleeping last night, felt and saw how the spirit and Consciousness went through the healing process. There is nothing much to say here, as what is done to you may be different to me, but the overall theme is the same, where we are all healing.

Did not want to say what happened yesterday afternoon at the grocery store, as there is no need to run home and tell Mommy everything that happens to you, because we learn to rise above unforseen events, but what came during the early hours of this morning ties in with the event at the grocery store, so it has to be said.


The man behind the counter at the food department has a cruel streak within him. Nine out of ten times you won’t see it because he doesn’t show it, but when he does, that is pure, undiluted cruelty coming from within that washes over you. It is the way he looks at you and what energy he brings forth from the bowels of vile Evil that is within him.


When someone is rude/cruel to you, you react. You can either cry or give them a taste of their own medicine, and this helps, where we react in order to survive.

But what happens when you refuse to react? What happens when you see that is not you – you are not cruel – so you merely be you, which is kindness? Well, when I saw the evil that is within this man come forth that was aimed at me, it felt like someone was strangling my spirit and body form, where I could not breathe. For about two hours after the incident I was still stunned. It was while I watched the Beauty of my youngest daughter dance at the dance school that I was fed what the evil within this man strangled out of me.


So last night as my body slept in bed I saw through my Third Eye this young lady a short distance from me in the room. She was dressed as a Victorian era maid, with the doiley curved apron and matching hat. I don’t often hear those from the unseen, but when I saw this Beautiful, innocent young lady in front of me, I heard someone laugh at. Another said she looked like a fish bowel. (In other words, others were being cruel towards her.) She began to walk towards me, and for a moment her head disappeared, which was symbolic to tell Steven what is in front of you is all heart. As she walked towards me she held something in her hands. When she was right up against me, with my spirit and body hand, I reached out towards her and placed my hand against her body, as a token to say I see you – hello! With that she disappeared and what she held in her hands went into my hand, where my hand began to glow from what was now inside of it.


Then this morning just before I got out of bed I pressed gently with the nail side of my thumbs against my closed eyelids to look deep within the unseen. What I saw was the Golden Eye, and from there the edge of the Eye and its pupil had a Black coloured liner to it, and inside the Eye was this purple colour. From there the Eye turned three dimensional, with different shades of purple and Black. From there it got interesting, where four or five small strobe balls came forth from the Eye. These balls were the colours of purple, gold and Black intertwined, and these balls from the Infinite done their best to touch me but could not, where they came as close as they could to me but eventually had to return from where they came.


So ask yourself, when this unknown state to Consciousness called cruelty touched our Consciousness, what happened? What was shocked out of us that should naturally be there that could not return to us?

Can you imagine this pure, Beautiful state; this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness being touched by this unknown? What I can guarantee you, is what you were now no longer was. Yes, the healing – natural state – of the heart energy field would have helped, but this the Serpents left behind in the illusionary Garden of Semiramis so that they may come here to think/analyse. They were planning to pick up their heart state when they returned, but this never happened as they became deceived/trapped in the Analytical illusion. Understand that we are talking about the Consciousness state of the Serpents, where the heart field of their Consciousness was no longer present. This heart field is the core of what Consciousness and the Serpent are, but they wanted to know themselves, this that they are, so they left their heart field in the Garden, where from the vantage point of the Analytical illusion they may see and know themselves.


What did that young lady pass onto us last night? This has never been about Steven, but all within the illusion. Those of us who wish to be in the illusionary Garden have this within them now that was passed to us from this Innocent female, but it means nothing as we don’t know what it is. When we understand what it is, it will come alive to us.


So what is in my right hand that is in yours?

Okay, that is easy to understand. Here in the Analytical illusion what drove the Machine that is the illusion that is us? It was a remnant of what the heart field should be, which was a state of Home, which is I am safe and Loved. This remnant state is all we could draw from what we remembered the heart field to be, and this Orange frequency we placed within us.

But let’s back-track one step, where you are what you are and cannot be anything else but what you are. Sure, the Serpents placed the heart field in the Garden to leave for the Analytical illusion, and what this means, is Home is where the Heart is. They left behind a part of them to go and find themselves, and this part they left in the Garden, but for Pete’s sake, you cannot leave behind what you are, so a state of themselves was left behind to make way for the head and the analytical thinking.

So when things began to go tits-up in the Analytical illusion, it knocked the innocent heart field within them, as this what they are cannot be where there is disharmony. We never knew it at the time, but the shock and realization of being trapped where we don’t belong resulted in us losing the core of what we are. So a remnant of the heart field began to power us that is Consciousness and the Analytical illusion, and this was the Orange coloured ball found in the left lower leg of the Machine of the illusion.


A Golden ball should be at our core – not an Orange coloured one. Gold is from God which is the Infinite. Orange is the closest we got to remembering what Gold/God within us should be.

So what that Beautiful young lady passed onto us last night was the Golden ball that is the heart energy field. That teasing and being cruel that I heard as she walked towards us was those in the Analytical illusion who have no interest in this Beauty/Innocence that they are, and that is sad.


The Infinite tried its damnest to pass on this heart field to us. Why did it not succeed? Oh wow, that is a question for you. Could the answer be we never knew ourselves, where we thought we were okay but we were not? Why did the cruel scold the innocent? Was it because they thought they were okay, where they are better than these soft-cocks that go around hugging trees and see Beauty in a pressed, coloured stone?

I would say we never knew ourselves. I remember when I was a teenager this one guy tried to be my friend. I was as cold as a fish so did not know what his spirit and body form were talking about. Months later when I saw this Good man he was angry with me, and even then I had no idea why.

In his Goodness I never saw my own, so I could not even be a friend to myself, let alone another.


We that is Consciousness were okay with this remnant of Home within us, and this was our mistake, because this watered down version of what we are allowed the Evil Serpents to strike us with their poison, and that was the beginning of the end, where now we were truly lost to the ways of the Beast.


So embrace this what you are; this heart energy field, as you find your feet in the illusionary Garden of Semiramis. That is why that cruel man could rock me with his cruelty yesterday – it was because what I am was absent from me, namely this heart field. Now either you are Orange, or the true Golden state that you forgot about. The two cannot blend, where you are either the one or the other. The one remains in the crumbling Analytical illusion, and the other finds its feet in the temporary home away from Home, namely Semiramis’ illusionary Garden, where there is much Beauty and nothing else but Beauty here.

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