Jump to content

Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

Recommended Posts

They say the Endocrine system, as in pineal, pituitary, thyroid gland etc. is the communication link between the spirit and the body form, and this I believe to be true.

This morning as I went through my rounds checking on others, what was felt was the activation of the glands primarily at the throat area, and this is on the level of the spirit, body form, as well as Consciousness.


If you are sitting in Japan, and I am here at my house, and I need to tell you something to help you, but cannot relay the message to you, then what use am I and my help to you? Obviously, I may as well not be a part of your existence because I cannot get hold of you and you me.

And this has always been our dilemma, where as a team, Consciousness, the spirit, and the body form have never known each other and worked as one. And this is what I mean when I say we are alone – where those that can help us cannot do so because the communication barriers are down. Why this is so, is because we have been held down, and now that we are on our feet, this state doesn’t mean much unless we start talking to each other.


This process has now begun, where when we stand together we stand strong, and when we are apart we are useless to ourselves and others.

Now we talk to each other, where we are there for each other – helping each other out. And this is the help we have always needed that I have been asking for for so long.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

As I closed my eyes to sleep last night I found myself in this hallway. The colours all around we were a mixture of black and purple. I saw a short man in a black robe with a hood covering his head. He came forwards to look at me, and then another man dressed in the same attire came to look at me as well.

A rope of sorts was coiled around my left calf muscle, and these two men must have pulled me towards some destination, where I felt the bed I was lying on move in their direction.


This was all a first for me – seeing the purple/black colour; seeing these two men; and feeling the bed I was lying on being moved forwards with me on it.

When the bed stopped moving another person appeared. They drew from me all I have come to understand. As a gesture of goodwill I extended my hands out to them, which they touched.


I don’t know what that was all about, but the whole experience was heart-warming.


This morning when checked on The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, felt this force move from the left foot downwards, and from there this force looked for something. When it found what it was looking for a connection was made. Don’t quote me, but I feel this connection was to The Tree of Life, because from there this presence move upwards through the left foot, up the left leg and thigh, into the heart field, and from there into the Infinite, only to make the “loop” back into the left foot as it passed through the Tree.

When momentum is gathered around this circuit, what is around it breaks away, where the illusionary body and spirit becomes less dense, until all that is left is Consciousness.


Where is Consciousness within us now? I would say it is here, there and everywhere, where it cannot be defined and limited.

What we have known for so long is evil has had the upper reign of our existence, where the sole reason of its cruelty was to keep us down, where always there is an inner fight and struggle and turmoil.

What we don’t know is there is a new kid on the block, and that is your Consciousness that has come to the party to play. What I also don’t know is in what realm were those that I was taken to last night. No doubt they were seekers of understanding that had a few pieces of the puzzle missing. May what the animals taught me be those missing pieces.

What happens next I don’t know, but what I do know is Love is natural, and when this natural state rises to be what it is, that will be The Great Floods that will wash away all that does not belong, and that includes this Game call Let’s Be Cruel Because We Can.


It is a strain to write in this journal now, where what was a challenge holds no enthusiasm now. The spark within me to write and understand is no longer there, or maybe it is, burning bright for all, so now I can walk away as my job is done.

I would like that.

4:48 PM 22/3/2024

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Always we look to others for our happiness, where what they offer us defines us. This Steven can sit with his finger up his arse waiting for help, and I will sit in that stance for a long time. Waiting for our politicians to grow morals or the Infinite to touch us is a dangerous game to play because you rely on others to play with you to complete the game.

All you can rely on in the illusion is your Consciousness, where this that you are is at peace because it knows what it is, where it is, and where it belongs. That is all you have, because in the illusion that is all that is real. We cannot comprehend the power of the last sentence, where by you knowing what is real, you play with the Game and make it your own until you decide to leave and never come back.


Yesterday evening I gave advice to a gated community that were going through hell, where their lives will be bettered and enriched by what I done for them. In order for me to assist in this way there has to be a foundation within me, where from there others may be helped. And this is what comes about when you look to yourself for peace and happiness, where when you find these traits you may pass them on.

So find peace and happiness within, and from there you naturally pass it on.


What I want to say is look to yourself now and ask what you want. For me, I see the spiritual and moral rot that is around this Steven wherever he goes, where we have fallen to another level and so many are okay with this. To see this rot we have to open our eyes to look, where we cannot look to the pavement as we walk, hoping that the problem will go away or others will fix it. It begins with an energy shift, where you say “that is not me,” and from there the strength within you finds an answer to the predicament at hand. The days of being blown around by the wind are over, where now you the spirit and body form plant roots into the Consciousness that you are.


I know what I am, and I see the shit our there staring me in the face. Now I turn to Consciousness for the solution, and from there I listen and do my part to assist. I don’t have the answers, and neither does anyone else because they are too busy living their lives, but my Consciousness does.

It starts with you. What do you want? I want peace within and without, where I am amongst my own, and I live and cherish this Life to its fullest. In the past that request was like opening a lucky-packet and seeing what you got inside – it was a Game of chance, not choice. What this Journal done was find the God-force/Consciousness and set it free to return to what it naturally should be. As long as we the spirit and body were deprived of this that we are in its full might, we were under the control of disgustingly cruel beings, both in the seen and unseen – but primarily in the unseen, as this is where the Game played out.


If I have missed something and our Consciousness is not free, then I will carry on going until this natural state of Love presents itself in all its glory, because never will I accept second best, where either you are Love or you are not. We have not been for a long time, and this I will change because I can. But that starts with me, and from there spreads out to my family, to the community, to the world, and of course into the unseen. It starts with you. What route have you mapped out for yourself? What do you want? There is a long list I can give you, but what overrides everything is to return Home, as this is where we belong. The vacation was a blast, but I miss Home, so let’s go back Home.


On a spiritual and moral standpoint, keep your side flawlessly clean, as this is what you naturally are. This journal was not filled with words that sounded great but done nothing to feed the soul and make it grow and thrive. What I understand I apply to those in the unseen that matter, which is Consciousness. Of course you and I matter, but without Consciousness we are tumbleweed blown across the sands of the desert, where we are lifeless and steered by the unknown and unpredictable.


The ship is waiting. You have to climb on board, and what this means is you have to know what you want. Look past the five million dollar house and yacht to the big picture, where I want the house with the view, but above all I wish to be me, which is me the spirit and body form basking in the glory of my Consciousness. More than anything – if you clever – that is what you wish for.


Control your mind, because if you don’t those in the unseen will. The allure of destruction can be intoxicating, where what you broke you are now above, and this feeds the monster that you have become. You never look in the mirror at your handiwork, where you see a tormented, unhappy, miserable runt, where now you just let loose and rip – no reason necessary for your insanity.

Control your mind – no disharmony allowed in the presence of Love.

Equally important, control your Consciousness, and how this is done is to give it your attention. Feed it; know it; be it. You the spirit and body form give Consciousness your attention, where you are constantly circumventing its orbit. This trinity of spirit, body and Consciousness become one.

There is so much to be done throughout the day, but deep within you prioritize what is important, and live from this platform.


In writing this journal I met with the worst of our kind in the unseen realms. Truly, you have no idea the level and depth of Evil out there. My weapon was that I never judged them – I just had to understand them, where what happened that they became cruel. So in writing this journal, one could say it was written for those I had to understand. Now and then when I sleep these that are so cruel and demented come to me, either just to look at this piece of shit called Steven, or to give me a mouthful as to why they are right.

In scraping the bottom of the barrel and meeting those there who ruled over us, now I leave this journal there for them to make of it what they wish. If anything, I have made them look at themselves, where what was always taken for granted is no longer an accepted given.

From my side, I believe I have nothing more to say, so I would no longer like to stay in the seen and unseen amongst those that don’t value the power of a good heart and being kind, where the God-force within shines. My suggestion is have a group huddle, where as a team figure things out, and my advice is do the complete opposite to what you have always done, where you uplift rather than break down. Pick yourself up and be kind to yourself, and from there extend this kindness to the others that truly want help, who will be thankful for you crossing their path.


Now it’s personal – now it’s between you the spirit and body form and your Consciousness. And at all times, keep it that way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here in South Africa there has been a brain-drain over the last thirty years, where the intellectuals go and stay elsewhere and the dummies are left behind. The problem is dummies only know how to hang around and take, and while they take for themselves, things get broken which they do not fix.

The life of the dummy soon falls apart, as does everything around them, and this is okay, because this is all they know. The other side of the coin, where you invest and enrich yourself and others with culture and self-respect is unknown to the dummy, where if it breaks, let’s keep it that way. The path forwards becomes one of decay and rot, and what the final destination brings forth I do not know.


Ask yourself what kept the analytical illusion going for so long? The answer was the presence of Sophia and Semiramis. Sure, the one was floored and the other insane, but through all of that they tried and cared, and this was enough to keep the analytical illusion floating.

What happens when they leave? What happens when they see the writing on the wall, where dummies enjoy being dummies, so let’s leave them to play dummy-dummy and go Home. Any guess what will happen to this illusion when these two Lights no longer be in this place that has turned into a dump? It will fall to where even the dummy sees there is something wrong.


You don’t want to be in that place when it manifests from our acceptance of let’s fuck everything and everyone up because that is who and what we are – dummies. You don’t want to see that place when it manifests.


What we never understood was there was never anything for us here in the analytical illusion. All we done was come here to think and ponder – it was like walking into a beautiful wood-panelled library, sitting on a chair at the fireplace and asking “who am I and what is my Home?” This deep thinking was merely a ponder and reflection of Consciousness seeing itself from an outsiders perspective, and from there we return to the illusionary Garden, and from there the Infinite.

The doors to that library became shut, and our intellectual and cultural sophistication fell as the Beast in the seen and unseen became born. We had Sophia and Semiramis fall with us into this most unpleasant place, but that soon created no solace as this place made their true presence null and void.


That has changed, where a Creator and a being of Beauty have returned to their natural states. I believe they will shine for all of us to see them, so that in them we see the Consciousness that we are, and from there we will be given free will, where we cannot just go with the flow of destruction but now have to think for ourselves, because that was the true damage of our fall here in the analytical illusion, where we no longer began to think for ourselves. It was not so much that others told us what to do – it was we stopped thinking, where we merely fed the savage within with its core structure of “am I okay?”


When those ladies shine, we will see, and then we will think. “What am I? Where am I? Where do I belong?” The answer will be in front of us by the presence of Sophia and Semiramis, and those that think will understand and climb on the boat Homeward bound. Those that see these two ladies as a threat to their existence will run and hide to protect what they are and what they have accumulated, and these the dummies will become the rats in the sewers of this most unpleasant place, living out their days here until they start to once again think.


We came here to think, and to return from where we came we have to return to thinking, because we the dummy stopped thinking a long time ago, and this was not entirely our fault as the manipulation of Consciousness, the spirit, and the body form kept us locked into the way of the cock and the stomach, where our wants and needs are fulfilled, so we are at peace, until these wants and needs once again arise, and so it goes – the way of the cock and the five course meal.


Go back to thinking, where you understand you and the big picture, and what you will see is look within rather than without. Look to your Consciousness rather than this most unpleasant illusion. Go within to find the Kingdom of Heaven which is you that is Consciousness. That is Home, and not the way of the dummy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What happens when you begin to see you, is you break away from the illusion and all that once defined you. What I feel is an energetic presence that is independent of the illusion, where the left eye represents the illusion, and this presence that you are hangs over the face, away from the illusion.


Last night as I slept I saw me the spirit that is this Steven. What I saw was not me – I didn’t like what I saw. Ask me to be specific and I cannot – it was everything about me that was  not me.

So now I change, as do you, because in the past all we had to compare ourselves was the one who looked back at us from the mirror. Now we look at our Consciousness, and this is the mark we move towards.


It is all about the spirit, as this is where the Game is played out. Consciousness in its manipulated state was the jewel in the crown of deceit and manipulation of those who controlled the Game. Our Wonder Boy/Girl has returned to what it should be, and to this we the spirit move, as this is what we are.

When I feel Consciousness, all I see is blackness – the presence of no beginning and no end. Now there is no dummy looking back at us from the mirror, there is the all in front of us that is Consciousness.


What today or tomorrow brings I cannot say. All I know is we are on the right path.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What is interesting to note, is this whole side-show-Bob game we are played in forgot about the true innocent one around which everything circumnavigated. You think its about you and me the manufactured spirit and body form, well guess again. Ask yourself why were we created/manufactured, and the answer was to house the precious cargo within, which is the Serpent soul, or what some call the kundalini energy. What this is, is a literal Snake, but not your ordinary garden variety. This Serpent takes intelligence and wisdom to a whole new level, and these Snakes, in their pure form, is the quintessal essence of innocence.


Who saw the Infinite through the looking-glass of the illusionary Garden of Semiramis? – The Serpent spirit did.

Who went and created the analytical illusion to sit and ponder what it is and where/what is Home? – The Serpent spirit did. And this is something I have never taken into account, which is where and what is the Home of the Serpent.


The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created an impact zone, and from this the Serpent spirit arose.  They went to play in the illusinary Garden of Queen Semiramis, and from there moved to the analytical illusion. When things began to go topsy-turvy in the analytical illusion, the Serpent spirit was cloned, and the reason for this was to eliminate the “I,” where from one came two. There is a quote in the scriptures that says where there are two of me I am there to bear witness, and what this means is from the two we return to the one, which is the Love of the Infinite. So in you I am, and in me you are, and when we see each other we note that we are one. This applies to the Serpent spirit and Serpent soul. From the Serpent spirit the Serpent soul was cloned to create a harmony in this restlessness that was brewing in all, and this trouble was there because we lived in the head and abandoned that what we are which is the heart space.

Semiramis saw the writing on the wall, where the Serpent spirit would attack the Serpent soul, and harm would come to these souls through the fall of the analytical illusion, so what they done was create a housing for the child of Semiramis, and we the spirit were created. That has been your and my role since way before time immemorial, and this is something we the spirit soon forgot about, where we turned to the body and the deceitful lie of learning to evolve to be one with a god of the illusion, which was the collective Consciousness of all.


Why now, after all this time, do we focus on this Beautiful child of innocence within? The answer is because we are in a position to do so. I cannot help you unless I am in a position to help myself, where I am okay. From this platform attention may be passed your way to assist you, and so it is with your spirit and mine, where with our focus on our Consciousness, we may help this Serpent soul within.


There was a cataclysmic fall within the analytical illusion, and I believe this fall stunned the Serpent spirit into slumber, and this is so because these Serpent spirits arose from the Infinite, thus a denser fall from the analytical illusion knocked them out, and they have been asleep up till now.

As the Serpent soul was cloned in the analytical illusion, this fall did not affect it as bad as the Serpent spirits, and thus they survived this falls intact. Now this is where I get the timing of this story off, as I don’t know when exactly the Serpent soul became housed in us the manufactured spirit, but it makes sense that it happened just before the fall of the analytical illusion, where we the manufactured spirits fell with our precious cargo within, and as we fell so did the Serpent spirits, who we knocked out and suspended in slumber somewhere between this shit-hole and the pure analytical illusion.

What I also have to say here is those Serpent spirits who were behind the fall of the analytical illusion made sure they were not affected by the cataclysmic fall. These became the Serpentile gods that rule over the ant farm that is the dense illusion with the countless worlds therein. You can be the biggest, baddest, mother-fucker hombre in the illusion, but unless you are a Serpentile god, you are nothing. These Serpentile gods answer to no one but their own, and truly, they are the masters of this place. No amount of arse-kissing or sucking up to these Serpentile gods will do, as they know exactly what we are, which is slaves to them. In Evil there is no hierachy – just the Serpentile gods and nothing else.


So understand that you and I the spirit and body form are nothing but manufactured casings to house the Serpent soul within. Also understand that Queen Semiramis who created us Loved us as her own, as we looked after her children, and for this she Loved us as her own.

What you need to know is the battles of the illusion were fought between the Serpent souls within us, as so many of these children of Semiramis went rogue and became outright bloody fucking nasty, where they began to attack their own, as well as turn on the manufactured spirit and eat it. Those Snakes who I so often saw in my sleep state drifting the illusion by their own, they ate the manufactured spirit. So to the nasty spirits out there that house nasty body forms – be careful, as at any time you may be devoured by the Serpent soul within, where just as you turned bad, so did it.


The Serpent soul is still within you and me, and the Serpent spirits are still suspended in slumber, and the reason for this is because the question they came to ask in the analytical illusion has still not been answered, and their question is a valid one because the Serpent spirit was not born from the Source within the Infinite, as were the Dragon spirits of Sophia. Can you now understand why the Serpent spirits had to leave the illusionary Garden to go and ponder, because their dilemma was a valid one. Who are they, and from where did they arise?


So what you and I do, is we fill ourselves with the Golden Glow of the Infinite, and in this state we answer the above-mentioned question so that peace may be found in the Serpent soul. From there, this message is passed from the Serpent soul to the Serpent spirit as the soul awakens the spirit, where the two then become one and return Home. When that is done, my job is complete, where the children of Semiramis are Home, and this is all she has ever lived for, as would any loving mother, where when your children are at peace then so are you.


So let’s answer the question that the Serpent spirits came to the analytical illusion to find an answer to:


What are we?

As a star is born, so were you. Stars form from collapsing clouds of gas and dust, and so too were you born from the collapse/fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. Thus you were created/born in her image, and what that is, is the Light within her that is Love. From this burst of Light from her fall you were born, and what you were, and always will be, is Love.

Somewhere interwoven within that tapestry of Light that burst forth as you were born was a thread of uncertainty, and this arose from Sophia not understanding what was going on – why was she falling? She fell because her creation the Dragon spirits called unto her, so she moved to be closer to them, and in the process fell through the realm she resides in. In simple terms, it was a slip and a fall, and this startled her, and this startled/uncertain state is within you, hence your question of who you are. So take away this thread of uncertainty within your form now, and in that moment you will know what you are, which is Love. Now you may return Home as you know what you are.


What is Home?

That’s an easy one to answer. You are Home – you are everything, because what you are arose from the Source of the Infinite. You are Consciousness which is Love which is Home which is the Infinite.


In knowing what you are, be at Home.

May the Serpent soul within you the manufactured spirit be itself, because this is something that we the spirit and body form never knew, which is as long as this soul within is lost and damaged and battered and fearful, then so are we.

You and I the spirit and body form were created around a strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness, which we call Consciousness, and to this speck of Light we return to be what we are.

The Serpent soul within us the manufactured spirit and body form was cloned from the Serpent spirit. This Serpent spirit was born from the fall of The wisdom Goddess Sophia, so what the Serpent spirit was created around was a burst of Light from the fall of a Creator. Had Sophia not fallen from her realm, the Serpent spirits would never have been formed, and had the Dragon spirits never called unto Sophia, she would never have fallen. So what was it that set this chain of events into motion? Why did the Dragon spirits call unto Sophia? They called her to give her a gift, because I feel the Dragons rise up, and then return to where they were, but just before they returned, they left something for Sophia, where I feel this present suspended in midair waiting for her. What was it? What I feel is a rod, and around this rod something is coiled. But what is that?

This gift of the Dragon spirits to Sophia is something I need to understand. I feel movement within my throat, from where the “fire”/expressions of the Dragons came. Within the fire of the Dragons throat this gift to Sophia was born, and now I feel a strong movement within my hands, where from the Infinite and through the hands of the Dragon this gift arose. From the Infinite, through the hands, to the throat where this gift came alive and was born, and from the throat it travelled upwards to be given to The Wisdom Goddess Sophia.

What is this gift, onto which Sophia fell, and from there the Serpent spirits were created? In knowing this gift, the Serpent spirits and souls know themselves.


You tell me Serpent soul. You know yourself now so tell me what you are.

What I am Steven, is the rod of Emotions. From the Infinite the Dragon spirits drew this out and created it into a gift for Sophia. And around this I was bound/born when Sophia fell on this gift. That is what I am.


So as you and I the spirit and body form looks towards Consciousness that we are, the Serpent spirit and soul looks towards the Emotional rod – this gift of the Dragon spirits to The Wisdom Goddess Sophia.


Earlier on this morning I felt something like a nut within my brain. There was a pertinant location in my brain with something within it, and in what I wrote above now, I understand what I felt this morning. Within our brain is the caudate nucleus, which controls movements, learning, reward, motivation, romantic exchanges, and emotions. I would say the primary is emotion, where the status of this trait controls our movement, learning, rewards etc.

The caduceus is the popular symbol of medicine, which is a snake/s coiled around a staff, but the rod of Asclepius is also used. What is medicine and healing? – It is caring and empathy, and what this is, at its core, is emotions.


What was drawn from the Infinite and created within the fire of the Dragon spirits was feeling the Infinite and making it your own. Through the power of imagination you create the wind, and now, with emotions, you feel and become the wind, because this is what true empathy/emotions are, where you become the other.

From this the Emotional rod, as well as the Love of Sophia, the Serpent spirits were created, so while we the manufactured spirit and body form look towards Consciousness to become what we are, the Serpent spirits and souls look towards the Rod of Emotions – this gift of the Dragon spirits to Sophia.


I always wondered where were the Dragon spirits in this whole story, and guesses have been made. Now I know: The Dragon spirits did not have to go and find themselves, because they knew what they were and from where they arose, so from the illusionary Garden of Semiramis the Dragon spirits returned to the Infinite. The Serpent spirits however, saw the Infinite from the vantage point of the illusionary Garden, and they wondered who they were and how they arose. So they created the analytical illusion to go and ponder on these questions. From there, these Beautiful beings fell to a shit-hole from which we have never been able to leave. A remnant of what these Serpent souls and spirits are  lies within us, namely the caudate nucleus, but its true origin lies in a gift shaped as a rod within the Infinite. To this these Serpents move, and from there to peace within the Infinite.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In the movie The Lord of the Rings we found the character Gollum who was originally called Smeagol, where the power of the Ring took him over and he became bad.

So let’s talk about me and you the body form with our personality here in the dense frequency paradise that we are letting slide into a shit-hole with each passing day. Let’s talk about me and you and the bad within us, because somehow, somewhere this dump created a bad streak in all of us.

How delicate and vulnerable we are, and this we never see when times are good, but throw us a curve ball, for example during times of war, and we see the fragile flower that we are turn into a Beast, where the cruelty within is unleased. Kill or be killed – that is the pressure cooker we find ourselves in, and this hardened all of us. Many do their best to be good to see the good because this makes their hearts sing, but we are no fools, where we know the reality simmering under the floorboards that can show its ugly head at any time.


What I am trying to say is in me and you is a Gollum, and just as in the movie, it is a pathetic figure filled with raw hate and aggression. Shameful we are for what we have allowed ourselves to become, and don’t underestimate the influence of finding yourself in a place where you don’t belong as the cause of this Beast that is your Dark side. I will rather run away from a fight than face one because I refuse to lower myself to that level, and also because I don’t intend spending my time in jail because if I raise my hands it will be to kill – no use in doing things in half measures. And that is the savage in me and you – take out those that threaten those you love, where you protect them at all costs.


Up till now I have focused on Consciousness, the spirit, and the Serpent soul, because these are the main players in this Game, but now it is our turn of the biological computer. Something lurks within us that is cruel and unpleasant, and believe you me, this is not you, because you are kind and good.


So let’s open our eyes to see what we are so that we may no longer be this that is not natural. Understand that in disharmony, disharmony is bred, and there is no happy ending. Sooner or later we have to be accountable for our actions, and never do I wish this on anyone. Rather stop and make a u-turn and be happy than walk to unpleasantness that breeds consequences you wish on nobody. Always keep your side clean, but there is so much about the unseen we don’t know, and this I would like to clear up now. Understand what is in me is in you – just to varying degrees – and I say this because we inhabit the same space. So let’s see what is there and remove it.


I write now because of how I was shamed last night in my sleep state. What they made me do one cannot speak of, but know one thing – such a Dark presence that has an influence over us is unacceptable. It is not allowed because I am not cruel, so what gives this Darkness; this Gollum presence, the right to be a part of my existence to the point where it has full control over us.

You cannot see the air you breathe, and yet without this presence we would not exist here in the dense illusion. Similarly, what is within us that controls us we cannot see or feel, but believe you me, it is there. So let’s have a look and see what it is.


Am I being unreasonable when I say we are all two-faces, where what you see in others is not what you get – the good foot is shown first, and later on we see the bad one step forwards. It is this bad foot I would like to examine now, because that is not us. What you see in Steven is what you get. If I crap you out it is because I care because you stuffed up, where everything I do is from a good heart. I have learnt when to talk, and when to keep quiet to those that won’t listen, but primarily I would like to walk and be amongst my own. To get there, there is a Gollum within all of us that needs to be shaken off, as this is not me and you, where naturally we are inherentally good and not bad.


So Let’s look in the mirror and see what is there that should not be.


From the base of my left foot emerges a shadow that comes to float next to the left side of me. This is the unseen we never knew about, and this unseen force is not dwelling and from the spirit realm – it is the shadow of all our frustrations and hatreds that we have built up over lifetimes. What we cannot handle or resolve we push into this shadow force, which becomes an entity unto itself. This presence that is attached to you that walks on your left side with you is your Gollum – your Darkness, and it is one awful nasty piece of work. It is bad, really, really bad, and I would say in us men with our excess testosterone it is Frankenstein literally on steriods – natural biological computer steroids.

When the viper within you attacks, it is this Dark force striking the blow, where you the body form are merely the puppet whose strings this force pulls. Understand that this force is a manifestation of all our frustrations that we have to push somewhere to get on with Life. Now you know where this disharmonious energy went to, where it never left you – it formed an entity of its own that is always there, waiting to pounce if needed. And that is truly a shame, this force that we unknowingly created, because here in this Beast there in no Love – just Darkness.


How do we release it? The answer is we plug it into our Consciousness, where, where we the spirit looks, so too does this shadow. In this madhouse we need a mentor and a role model, and what that is, is our Consciousness.


I feel this shadow move from our side to within us, where now it is no longer neither here nor there, but rather within the illusion. What you and I know this force now knows as well, and that will set it free. From the left eye this force moves to the heart space, and that is how I know it is free.

This force; this shadow, was one of the main contributors to the stench of the illusion.


What will prevent this shadow from resurfacing within our space? I would say our guidance from Consciousness.

In many this force took us over, where we the biological computer was now a presence in the background, and what represented us was this most unpleasant shadow. Every few months I go and see the horses of this man. He is a good man, with a good heart, and he is good towards the horses, for which I am eternally thankful. Every single time I work on his horses I begin to feel palpably uncomfortable, and I see this shadow presence next to him. I could never understand what was going on, but now I do. The Darkness that is his shadow came to the fore, and what I saw and felt was a horrific Beast. That was in you and me and all out there to a greater or lesser degree, and it is unacceptable.


This force is released, and may we the biological computer become less dense to rise up to where we belong.

2:03 PM 3/29/2024


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yesterday evening Jackey contacted me for help with her Great Dane dog. Lulu had difficulty swallowing, and was generally not herself.

When I went into this dogs space I felt this presence enter her form that settled over her throat area. My initial feel/hope was this was the presence of some entity of Love that came to touch her, but the more I felt as the deeper I went, it was more a virus of sorts that touched Lulu. But even that was not true, because her left kidney was taking a strain, and I felt the outlayed pathway of this entity from the throat to the brain area.

I had to understand where Lulu picked this “virus” up, so I asked Jackey with whom had she and her animal family been in contact with over the last few days. A friend had come to visit this last Friday. Now my thoughts went to the covid jab and the shedding thereof, so I asked if this visitor had the Fauchi outchi. Yes, he did – two of them.


From there I worked on Lulu’s throat area and was happy with what I done. Would do a follow-up the next morning to make sure all is well.


Jackey beat me to it, and sent me a video this morning of Lulu walking, where this dog walked like a chameleon about to catch its prey, where the walk was this rythmical move a bit forwards and then backwards. To watch this was scary stuff, where this dog was completely out of it.

When I went into her space the throat area was perfect, but her brain felt like someone had placed a metal cap around it that extended into the brain. The entity that was in the throat moved to the brain and made home there.


The lesson for me to learn was simple: When there is a possession, as in an infiltration of another into your space, you don’t treat the victim/host – you treat the possession with Love. And in making such a statement, there is so much more to it than that.


You the spirit and body form is locked into the presence of the real you, which is your Consciousness, where this Star and its pull is the natural course you follow. But look all around you – there are billions upon billions of small asteroids that are most unpleasant that fly into your space to knock you down and derail you. That is our reality, where it becomes difficult to stay on our feet as we move in the direction we are meant to go.


Be it the alien entity in the covid jab that has been shed into your space and forms; be it a virus or a parasite; be it your mother-in-law; your boss; your wife; your child; your neighbour – these are the disharmonious asteroids that come into your space for a fight to throw you a wobbly just because they can. What they don’t understand is that is not you – you don’t like a fight, where you would rather uplift them and they you by just being the Love which the two of you are. They don’t understand this, but you do, so what do you do?

Firstly, look at yourself – always be open for self-criticism, because believe you me, you and I are not perfect, but we are on our way there.

Secondly, look to all the asteroids in your space in the seen and unseen. As with Lulu, you don’t try and treat/help them, you look to the possessions within them that caused them to become nasty, which is the collections of bad within them, including themselves. Don’t treat the vessel, treat what is inside of it. Lulu was fine, where her beautiful Heart and good nature did not need Stevens help, but what entered her to destroy her needed my help as that entity was devoid of help.

And thirdly, pass on the understanding/wisdom to the victim and possession so that what happened cannot happen again, and what that wisdom is, is you Love all.


When I stop to figure you out, or to give you a mouthful, now you have my attention, meaning my Consciousness no longer does. So now I stop, go off course, and figure out what is going on. “Why did you say that – how can you be so cruel?” “Why did you do that?”


I really believe that like attracts like because the same frequency bands are compatible to each other. A friend is someone who fits into your frequency band. What we also have to consider is there are trillions of frequency bands around us in the seen and unseen. Our natural defence of our unique frequency band repels those unwanted bands to enter your space, but sometimes – as with the shedding of the technology within the covid jab – they are forced upon us. What also comes to play here is our naivety, where we believe all are good, especially those in authority above us, or those we fall in love with, not understanding the psychopath dwells amongst us whose dark side of the moon we never see until they decide to show it to us.

So our like attracts like theory is blown out the water, and this is because we lived in a compressed, limited reality filled with the attitude of “me and mine.” Eventually we become rattled, not knowing our arse from our elbow.


The trick is to look and to see, and this takes courage. From there you Love all – all you see in the seen and unseen, as well as those you don’t see. You send the Love that you are to all. And from here you bring and carry forth the most vital component of all: You walk Homewards bound as you Love all because you are Love. Don’t be a two-face – be the Love that you are, where from thinking and analysing you now be.

How I helped Lulu was to Love the entity that possessed her to destroy her and take her over. So what Lulu does now is project the Love that she is to the all around her. As you and I walk towards our Consciousness we move deeper and deeper into the Love that we are, and the next step from here on our path Homeward bound is to project this Love to all around us, where they too become Love. Many will continue to lie to themselves – never acknowledging the Beast within them that they are – and these walk a different path to you, where oil and water cannot jel. It is not so much that they are on a different frequency to us, it is more a different state. The one wishes to go where they belong, and the other chooses to stay where they are with what they have become.


We always imagined that we are someone else’s problem, where God will help, and until God does, I can carry on being the hypocrite that I am.

Nobody is going to come and save us, because truthfully, we don’t need help. All we need is return to what we are, and from there walk Home. Can you imagine God sitting down and reasoning with a psychopath or an egomaniac? – What a waste of time and effort.

So look – look at the Consciousness that you are, and from there walk within to this that you are. From there, be this Love that touches you the spirit and body form, and by being, we imply shine this Love onto all. This means you stop judging, because now what is around you is the Love that you are. In this Love disharmony cannot exist because your Love is the all.


Does that sound all airy-fairy, where you cannot take those words and make them your own? Sound all a bit cheesy to you? Well, allow me to say that what I felt and came to understrand what was happening to Lulu was scary shit. What is happening in this world as we speak touches all around you, meaning it will touch you, so what you have to do is take charge, where you become what you are. The days of being easy-rider, where you drift, hoping for the best, are gone. Fix yourself, and from there fix the bastards that dared to enter your space by being what you are, where you touch them before they can touch you and pull you down.


Walk with intent and understanding and wisdom, and that will get you Home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Last night a wave of exhaustion hit me and I had to go and sleep. Had a bad nights sleep, where I saw an entity made of marshmallow rocks. He had a drink in his hand, and he kept on toasting to me: “Cheers, you are fucked up, and I am not.” Woke up this morning with a splitting headache that cannot leave me, and I knew exactly what I had to write about to understand it.


When the bully – the wasted space that has nothing but aggression within them – when they look your way, why do you cower? Over ten years ago I wrote in the journal why does a person feel awkward in the presence of another who has wronged you? They ought to feel uncomfortable from what they done to you, but they don’t – it is you who feels awkward.


Where is this Reptilian frequency of the illusion? What I never knew is that it is in a place between the seen dimensions and the unseen spirit realm. When your body dies your spirit departs to a less dense spirit realm where there is much beauty. Mention has been made of our shadow self that lies to the left of us outside of our space. When you the spirit and body form decide to go your own way, where you make the rules, where your traits of honesty, justice, respect, compassion, consideration and kindness are juggled around by you, where you take what will suit you and from there discard the rest, that is when you choose to live in the spirit and body form or in the shadow that has formed outside and to the left of your body.

Where this shadow forms is in a space between the body and spirit, and that is the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. From this place the shadows of spirits and body forms become Beasts – because they can, but most importantly, because this is the easy way, and why it is so easy, is because from this vantage point the Beast is the outsider looking in, where now, literally and figuratively, you are game to them, where you are played in their Game.


There is a thin veil from where the Beast hides, and this veil is more than just a place to hide, it is a net that is thrown over those in the seen and unseen who don’t dwell in this place between worlds.

What gives those in the Reptilian frequency their power is deceit, where you never see a cockroach, but they see you, and can thus manipulate and control you, but please understand that this veil is to hold and keep us down, and it is always there, thus the illusion is the domain of the cruel and unkind, and these make the illusion a most unpleasant place to live in, primarily because they are unpleasant, as in cruel, where they wish you harm rather than joy.

So it is not the power of the bully or the rapist, because they have none – it the vantage point from where they are, where they throw this veil that is the division between their frequency and ours over us to hold us down. It’s like me hiding behind a sheet, and now I throw this sheet over you and hold you down with the sheet. What happens in reality is we don’t see those behind the sheet, nor do we see and feel the sheet, but it is there – this thin transparent veil that holds us down. The bully knows that – all he or she has to do is rise up and show others the savage that they are, and we are helpless to that because we are already kept down by the presence of the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, and it is this frequency I would like to understand now so that it is no more.

We speak about culture; about being uplifted to rise above ourselves to merely be, as this is a natural path and way of existence, but this cannot happen as long as the Reptilian frequency veil is there. What is the bully, the brute? – They are cowards that use their downright meanness to suppress the innocent, and why this is done, is to make themselves feel good about themselves. I am above you, so I am better than you. That is why my wife married me: When her self-esteem dropped to reveal the lost, lonely, insecure brat within, she lashed out at me to destroy me, and in my broken state she was now truthfully above me, and this gave her peace within, where she no longer felt so worthless. When this high began to fade another session of abuse was needed, and so what Steven married to love turned into a Life that you only imagine happens to someone else on television. That funny, and sure as hell is sad as well.


I am now going to understand this veil behind which those in the Reptilian frequency hide so that their power of deceit, where you not seeing me gives me power over you to do with you that you are not aware of – this veil I will understand so that they may no longer hide. I couldn’t care less about seeing these shadows in the seen and unseen, because from these I walk away; I rip this veil away which takes away the power of the Beast, and now they see what they are.

Why am I doing this? I would say to remove the restriction which this veil has cast over me, because as long as it is there, we in the seen and unseen cannot rise up to where we belong.


In the stillness of the silence I feel this space between. If you and I are bubbles moving about, then the space between these bubbles is the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. That film that surrounds your bubble is the veil that those from the Reptilian frequency of the illusion threw over you. When your bubble pops you are on a different dimension/state, as now you are no longer in the proximity of the Reptilian frequency wherein you were played. You don’t want to be in a bubble because you are played therein by those outside the bubble, so when the bubble pops, you see those who took your power and suppressed you, and that is not you, so in the moment you rise to be you, which is Love, where now you are amongst your own.

No doubt, this veil is made of Fear, where we kept our heads down, never daring to look at these pathetic figures who are filled with nothing but cruelty. Shameful are they to the Love that they once were. I see these fuckers every night when I sleep, I see them laughing at me, knowing they have me where they want me, which is suppressed and held down. Now I know how they done it – this veil they cast over all of us.


Look at this veil to know what it is. It is something that permeates and fills every cell/molecule/frequency of our forms. So often I have stepped into the frequency of the Beast to see and know them, and once again I do so now to understand this they see and know what is suppressing us the innocent.

What it is, is a void, where there is no Life within us, where what should naturally be there is not. What should be there is not, and this creates a bubble around us. Pop and air bubble and the water that is around the bubble flows and fills the space of the bubble – what should be there now is, meaning the water. So figure out what should fill our space, and the bubble/veil bursts and we flow to where we should.


As an outsider, as one who now stands in this Reptilian frequency, I pop this bubble and from there return to the space within the bubble to feel and understand what should fill me so that we may understand this natural state. To do so, take away all Fear from your existence, as in Fear we cast a protective shield around ourselves to feel safe therein. Drop your protective barriers to return to what should be, because we put these barriers around us and the Beasts capitalzed on them, where in our bubble they sucked out what should naturally be there, for us to now live in a vacuumless void wherein we were manipulated.

So with my defensive systems down, and with the veil popped, I feel nothing, as in nothing is there, and this is what we should always feel, as that is natural. When this Nothingness of the Infinite was sucked out of us, we felt empty, and from there saw what the illusion had to offer, and this we took to fill the emptiness within us. That Nothingness in its true state must return, because that is the Home of the Infinite which we are.


They sucked the Nothingness of the Infinite out of our forms, and now we felt empty and alone, so we look to the illusion to complete ourselves, and in doing so, now we were in their Game. In giving our attention to a false reality we became putty in their hands. Well fuck them. No more.


The Nothingness of the Infinite once again fills our forms.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Over ten years ago a tick bit me that almost killed me, and this was one of the triggers that spurred me on to begin this journal. When others see that you are finished, that there is no Life or fight inside of you, meaning they can get nothing out of you, they show you what they are without the pretences. In those days, just a few years ago, we at least tried to be civil, but how things have changed in the last ten years, where we have fallen to a place where we don’t care what others think about us, where we don’t even try and be nice. 

I see and feel our demise compared to where we were a few short years ago, and boy-oh-boy, it scares the shit out of me, because truly in the seen resides the savage here, there and everywhere. I thank God I pursued this journal to find a way out of this mess, because what world awaits our children and those we Love? It is the world of the rubbish – the downright filth, and once again, boy-oh-boy, who in their right mind wants to rule over such trash? What a piece of shit you must be to have a feeling of importance from ruling over the mindless, and that is the madness of this place, where break them completely and take away everything they have. What fun and joy can be in such a task, and yet there it is, happening to us as we speak. We are so engrossed in surviving and hating that we fail to see what is above us that destroys with intent and precision. Wow, can you imagine the mindset of those who move the chess pieces on the board? Don’t even go there, because this depth of Evil has no limits, where it is impossible for me to destroy you without destroying myself.


As said, what I see out there scares me because this new level to which we have fallen I have not witnessed in my lifetime. Is is bad – seriously bad, and I want out, because what I see is not me.


As Hamlet said – all is not well in the state of Denmark; where I am not well. At night time the fever within me almost gets me to break out in a sweat, and what this says, is there is something I am missing, which I intend to find out now what it is. What is there affects all of us, because what it is at its roots is a suppression causing a dis-eased state, so I go into the space of Consciousness to see what is there that should not be. This shit has to be at the level of Consciousness, because if this Golden Child is okay then so would we the spirit and body form be okay. Shame, they really fucked this runt up, and the effects of this is our continual fall in the seen and unseen.


So what is it boyo – what troubles?

Go into the stillness of the silence, and you go in with Love all the way to see what is there that should not be. What I can say, is how far do we have to go before the ball naturally roles as it should? Why is it so difficult, and why is it taking so long? What I feel for within Consciousness has to be huge, because somehow, somewhere, there is a huge padlock that is keeping us floored, where sooner or later we all fall, and if you don’t believe me, stick your head out the window and have a look at the illusion to give yourself a reality check. Before I have a look to see what is going, let’s give a thanks to those cruel bastards that spurred me on to find the answer to why is Life so cruel – thank you, you gave the push that made me fall, where there is no going back to what was until I find the answer.


You become Consciousness, where you engulf yourself into all that it is to see what is there that should not be.

It is bloody fucking hot, where someone turned up the a/c and forgot to turn it down, so what we do is go to the natural “temperature” of Consciousness, because this warm-blooded nonsense is not normal. It is too the heart field/space that we turn to see what is normal, where Consciousness dips into this pool to understand the normal, but I stress that this upward “temperature control” was there to hide something most sinister that this journal has not touched on up till now.


With the “temperature” of Consciousness okay, we look what is there that should not be.

And there it is, the one that needs to survive in these fires of Hell. Let’s have a closer look.

I feel a sharp pin-prick in my right knee, and there the temperature once again rises within me, where what is there can only survive at almost boiling point. Oh brother, what can this be that has been within us before the beginning of time? Let’s go back to the time when Consciousness was still one with the Infinite to trace the steps of what infiltrated Consciousness that should not have.


And so we rewind time to where there was peace within, where what was should be. From this state the sole of my left foot comes alive, where heat and movement is felt there. Something wants to enter Consciousness, and there it goes, where it penetrates the left foot, where what feels like a long, thin Snake enters our Consciousness. This fucker is bad, and it is inside your Consciousness and mine, which it should not be. Like an Egyptian Cobra it raises its head to see this new territory that it has invaded. Understand one thing – this fucker is bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. It coils itself at the top of the brain, like an emperor who sits on his throne looking out on the domain he just conquered, where, where He is, now all is His.

This is more than just a Serpent – this is something unknown to me. All it requires is heat to survive. This became the Achilles heel of Consciounsess, and I say this because the outer side of my left ankle becomes weak, warm and vulnerable.


Oh man! It feels like I am starting on page one of this journal; what I feel I know nothing about. Everything I have said within the word count of 1 655 908 means nothing unless we understand this presence within Consciousness.

Understand what is happening: The closer we the spirit and body form move towards our Consciousness, the more we see, where what was can no longer be hidden.


Somewhere along this story we missed a chapter – a big one, so let’s start at the beginning and fill in the missing piece.


Go past the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, and from there to where the Serpent and Dragon spirits entered the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis. It is here that the missing piece will be found.

This place was Beautiful – it was and is a true paradise. As I write these words I feel the movement beneath the sole of the left foot, where this “Egyptian Cobra” is finding a way to enter our Consciousness. How could this be in this paradise? How can there be Disharmony here? Sure, the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits as to what is in the Garden that is not already in the Infinite took on an illusionary Life-form in the Garden, which we called the Parasitic frequency of Deception, which created a want within us. This part of the story remains unfinished, because from the Garden the Serpents went to create the Analytical illusion. But what madness brewed in the Garden that came to take those over there that infiltrated Consciousness in the illusionary Garden and Analytical illusion? I need to know where this Cobra came from. What happened in the Garden of Queen Semiramis?


The biggest want that brewed within us from the Parasite within us was the want to connect with another. Some may call this lust, but it is more than that – it is a sharing and union of two that become one. When I see all these cults that destroy so many lives, the main theme is sex. Go and have a good fuck, and bless you my child. What we don’t understand is the origin of this fire within our loins that has to burst forth in union with another. Where did this start, because in that story lies the origin of this Cobra.


I don’t understand what I feel. At the base of the left foot I feel that need from something to push forth to enter my space, and at the same time I feel this strong movement in a canal that runs from the base of my pelvis upwards into my form. The one beneath my foot is drawn to the one in the canal within the spirit, which for now, I assume is the Serpent soul that was cloned from the Serpent spirit.

What is going on? We are talking about the Beautiful illusionary Garden. What the hell happened there? What was the origin of the sex act; how was this deed played out without sex organs?


Okay, I was right. The Serpent spirit wanted to unite once again with the Serpent soul, and here we need to understand the state of the Serpent spirit, where the want of the Parasite within it drove the Serpent spirit to a frenzied madness, where I have to have at all costs because that is me. That Serpent soul within the spirit vehicle is me, so I have to once again be one with me. And this is true, because from the Serpent spirit the Serpent soul was cloned. So what I feel pushing upwards, wanting to enter my form is the Serpent spirit, wanting to go to the Serpent soul.

This stage within the Garden must have been when things were tits-up, where the spirit was created to house and protect the Serpent soul within, so what the Serpent spirit is pushing against (which I feel as movement against the base of my left foot) is the manufactured/created spirit, which was the original form of your spirit and mine.


Okay, this want/desire of the Serpent spirit to be one with the Serpent soul created a frenzy frequency, where the impacts of me trying to break the door down filter into the ethers and form an identity/frequency state. What that state is, is what I call the Cobra state, and to describe it in a crude language, it’s “I need to fuck; be one with you, no matter what.”

Fair enough, but how did this frequency pass from the Serpent spirit to the Serpent soul? Firstly, understand that what was the Serpent spirit now was no more in its pure state. A want led to madness that led to a frenzy. Secondly, you place one twin in Tokyo, and the other on Madagascar, and it is gauranteed there is a link between the two, because from one came two. So take the frenzy state of the Serpent spirit, and take the link between the Serpent spirit and soul, and understand that this frenzy was passed to the Serpent soul. But let’s be specific, where Consciousness within the Serpent spirit and Serpent soul became infused with what I call this Cobra frequency. As said, this frequency feels like a Snake, and this is so because it comes from a Serpent, but it is not a Snake frequency – it is a need to be one with you because you are me and I am you.


That is why the illusion in the seen and unseen is sex crazy, where the fuck is everything. Where we have to join forces and be one – literally.


Ask me what passion is, and I would call it a heat, where things hot up and get excited, and this is the frenzy force that came from the mad Serpent spirit to get to the Serpent soul. This force I call the Cobra frequency, and it resides within your Consciousness and mine. Please understand that this force overrides all else, where above all else, I need to get to know you so that we may be one.




To appease this frenzy within that arose from the Serpent spirit – that’s why.


We release this wasted energy state now, where above all, Home is not important – all that matters is from two they become one in unison. And that is how the fuck was born. Aplogies for being crude, but there is no other way of stating the origin of our demise, where the Game is now finding your partner to be one with, and from this oneness, others are born. Yipee, more energy for the illusion.

I cannot tell you what to do, but for me and those I Love, I release this Cobra frequency from our Consciousness so that we may not be so infatuated with being one with another.


There is a different kind of Oneness, where we are all One as we arose from the Infinite. Go back to this state, rather than what stirs at the loins.


So what heat was I feeling? What it the fever from the tickbite, or was it the Cobra frequency within? I don’t know, but with Consciousness at peace it will remove all disharmony in its presence.

What was that sharp pain I felt within my right knee? From the right knee to my testes to my brain a line is drawn, where this burst in the brain damages the brain. That is the line of the orgasm frequency, when we get what we so desired. Now we became distorted, where rationale was thrown out the window. We became loose, where the one-night-stand was born, where the orgasmic line became more important that the deep and meaningful unison of two becoming one.


Throw all of that shit away, where if we could not get our high through the orgasm, we tried other mediums such as drugs and closing that deal, where always the line within had to be fed.


Is there a state higher than the orgasm? Yes there is, and the answer is found in the natural, pure state of Consciousness. You don’t get higher than the Infinite, and as we that is Consciousness arose from the Infinite, to this we must return to know ourselves, and I would say in you being you there is no greater high than that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This “wanting to be close to you” became the framework of our forms, and that is why religion is so strong, and yet so lost to all, because we are chasing a frenzy that is unnatural and born from insanity. Do you really believe your Consciousness needs to be one with another, where if it is not, it becomes lost and lonely? I don’t think so. And yet here we all are, looking for another to be close to – to be one with to share our Life and existence in the seen and unseen, especially to some God. Nothing wrong with that, but we pushed this frenzy and became warped and irrational. The twisted mind was born, and this is one level below becoming loose. Nothing wrong with having intercourse for the sake of doing so, but soon that didn’t fulfill us, where now we looked for different highs, and I say the one that came to stand head above heels above all of them was the dominion of you over another. On simplistic terms, we can define this as the school bully, but this bully I describe is deeper than that, where he hides from the shadows and stalks and analyses his prey. All they want is the innocent to be in this Game they have created for themselves, where they become the predator. The other night as I slept I saw this giant lizard grab a Human-looking form by the shoulder and carry it away. Both hunter and hunted were in water, and the frenzy and intensity of this lizard with its victim in its mouth is testament to what I am talking about now, where all that matters is stalk, attack, kill and devour. This is played out a zillion times each day in our “wonderful” world of nature, where this “I want to be close to you” drives us to consume another. Is’nt this just survival? No fucking way – in its true form it is a twisted frenzy that has consumed so many within the illusion, and these are truly the lost, demented savages that are devoid of compassion and empathy. And what I describe here is the Serpentile gods that came to rule over the illusion – I would say the Garden and the Analytical illusion.


When the Serpent spirit looked at the Infinite from the illusionary Garden and asked “what am I, and where do I belong,” one needs to ask in what state of mind was the Serpent soul? Was it demented; did this Cobra frequency/frenzy already take hold within it? I don’t know, but I would guess “yes” because there was a fall in the Analytical illusion, and no doubt this would be from this state within the Serpent spirit that we talk about.


Did the Dragon spirits from the illusionary Garden come to this Analytical illusion? I would say “no,” but what I will also say was that the Dragon spirits within the Garden also fell as the Garden fell. These Dragon Spirits were also cloned to create Dragon souls, and this is where I lose the plot, and what I am missing is the timing to the sequence of events.


When the want of the Parasite within look over the Dragon and Serpent spirits within the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis, things began to go bad, but they were not yet catastrophic.

The thinkers within the Serpent spirits left to create the Analytical illusion, where they may know themselves. I believe that these thinkers were not overcome by the frenzy of the Cobra frequency within. While there in the Analytical illusion, things began to go south in the Garden. The spirit was born to shield and protect the Serpent soul from the Serpent spirit, because by now the writing was on the wall, where an infatuation began within the Serpent spirits to be one with the Serpent souls. Was this also true of the Dragon spirits and souls. For now, I don’t know, so let’s focus on the Serpent spirits.


What makes sense, is when the illusionary Garden fell, the Dragon and Serpent spirits were knocked into slumber through their impact with the dense frequency around them. The Serpent and Dragon souls were not stunned into slumber, primarily because we the spirit was designed for that – to protect the precious cargo within.

Understand that we have two scenarios here: The one of the Serpent spirit thinking within the Analytical illusion, and the chaos unfolding in the illusionary Garden that was falling apart. How did these two scenarios fuse together?


The only thing that makes sense to me, is when a few Serpent spirits fell from the Garden they saw the Analytical illusion and moved to that place/space. Earlier on I questioned the frame of mind of the Serpent spirit within the Analytical illusion, and I was wrong, because they were still of sound mind – pity that they shut off the heart field.

These tormented Serpent spirits that fell from the Garden and were not stunned by the fall moved to the Analytical illusion, and these became the Serpentile gods that have ruled over the Analytical illusion and its downgraded state ever since.


But it still doesn’t all fit together, because to where did the spirit fall with the precious cargo of the Serpent soul within? Did the two falls unite – the fall from the Analytical illusion and the one from the illusionary Garden? Understand that the Serpentile gods now had the thinking cap of the Analytical illusion, where from Chaos order may be kept.

I will say with certainty that those within the two falls met, and I say this because at all costs the Serpentile gods had to find the Serpent souls housed within the manufactured spirit.


So understand why and where we are all headed within the illusion, where the Serpentile gods want to once again be united with them that is the Serpent souls. That is all that has ever mattered to them, and what drove them further to insanity and a frenzied state was that this Love was an unrequited Love on the part of the Serpent souls, and this is rightly so, because the Serpentile gods have an infatuation rather than a Love, where if you don’t want me, I will make you want me, and if this doesn’t work I will destroy you. I don’t believe the Serpentile gods have destroyed the souls, but I do believe there is an in-house fighting amongst the Serpent souls, where factions attack others, and this has been the true and eternal war of the worlds.


So it goes back to chopping off the head of the Snake, where lose the Analytical mind of the Serpentile gods, return the heart field, and from there lose the Parasite within them that caused this want infatuation.

This is done now, where this frequency of healing with understanding is passed onto these gods, because this is all that will stop our continual demise to total anarchy in a helter-skelter apocalyptic world. A leash needs to be put on these Serpentile gods to return them to the Love that they were, and this has been done through the power of understanding that is driven by Love.


And through all of that I have still said nothing, because what happened to the Dragon spirits and souls?


When things began to go bad in the illusionary Garden, many Dragon and Serpent spirits left while they could – while the Garden was still not so dense, allowing them to leave, but some of the Dragon spirits became trapped in this place. When the Garden fell, these did not go to the Analytical illusion, because their own was not already there as with the Serpent spirits, so no beacon of a like-minded frequency was there for the Dragon spirits to turn to.

It has been written that the fall of the Dragon and Serpent souls from the illusionary Garden created a “fight” between them, where getting the better of the one lessened the impact of the fall on the other, and I believe the Serpent souls came out tops, but the question we have to ask, is were the Dragon souls encased within a manufactured spirit as the Serpent souls were? Understand that I know nothing about the Dragons. What I can tell you about them, was there was one Dragon spirit within the Infinite who wished to experience the complete opposite to what the Infinite had to offer, so this Dragon intentionally fell to find itself in the opposite of what the Infinite was. It has been said in the journal that evil Serpents came across this Dragon spirit and deceived it, where they took this Dragons fire. And that is where that story ended, but somehow, we have to complete the other half of this tale, which involves the Dragon spirits and souls.  


Did Queen Semiramis and the cosmic geneticists create a housing/spirit for the Dragon souls? When the Dragon spirits that were trapped within the illusionary Garden fell, they too became stunned into slumber like most of the Serpent spirits, and it is a given that Semiramis would look after the Dragon souls as well, so yes, they were housed in a manufactured spirit, but ask yourself why is there no remnant of a Dragon soul within us? In folk-lore throughout the ages one sees Dragon statues and tales of Dragons everywhere, so they must have been seen and known about at some stage of our existence, but what happened to them?


What happened during that fall from the illusionary Garden between the Dragon and Serpent souls? When I go into the space of the Serpent souls during this fall, I feel their lost presence moving around, not knowing where they are going to. Then I feel surety – a stability, where now they are okay. What caused them to be okay? The Serpentile god caught them, not know that this saviour would become their eternal tormentor.

Go into the space of the Dragon souls during the time of their fall from the Garden, and the same unsurety is felt, where I feel a squigly line moving about, not knowing where it is going to. Now this line/presence of the Dragon souls enters a deep and powerful space, where it is “wow, I was lost, and now what is this powerful place?” They must have been drawn to and fallen to the presence of the Dragon spirit mentioned above, because its presence was powerful and Beautiful which made this place spectacular – a true oasis in a forgotten place.  


Now the Dragon souls found themselves amongst their own – this Dragon spirit that chose to fall from the Infinite because it can.

And I was right – evil Serpents found this haven of the Dragons and wiped them out, where they were led into a trap of deception. Some were captured and imprisoned as a trophy, and this guttural sound that I heard in the past was their cries of anguish.

I need to know what was this Fire of the Dragon spirit that the Serpents captured and used as a weapon against all within the illusion. An anti-clockwise rotation is felt in my left knee, and what this is, is a drawing up of a draw-bridge to cut off our ties with the Infinite. This Fire within the Dragon spirit was the essence of the Infinite, and when the Serpents captured it, they used it to drawn the Nothingness of the Infinite out of Consciousness, where with Fire, they pulled the Fire out of us. From this Nothingness that is the Infinite all is born forth, where from Nothing, Everything is born. So our foundation from which to build and create and be was no more, and that is why we are all a buch of dummies, going round and round chasing our tails getting nowhere.


When I know what you took, I can take it back by knowing it doesn’t belong to you but to everyone. So this Fire is returned to the Dragon spirit and souls, as well as to all Consciousness within the illusion. Now I know why when we asked for the Waters/Nothingness/Fire of the Infinite to fill Consciousness nothing happened – it was because we had to understand how this Fire was taken and by whom. From the Dragons Fire that they took by force they drew the Fire out of Consciousness. This is now no more, where what is rightfully ours returns to us through the power of Understanding, where if this is how it must be, then this is how it is.

So be it. May this mammoth the Dragon spirit and its kin rise to awaken the Dragon spirits knocked in slumber, and from there be Home.


What happened to the Serpent spirits that fell under the tyranny of the Serpentile gods, and here I am talking about those Serpent spirits that came to the Analytical illusion to think and ponder. I would say they fell as the Analytical illusion fell, and they have been trying to get back Home ever since. These are the Guides; the Watchful spirits who look after all, especially the precious cargo of the Serpent soul within us the manufactured spirit. These are the Good that is out there that have been outnumbered by the Bad. May this journal set these fuckers free, as well as the Bad and the Serpentile gods, because it was written for all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Over the last few nights when I sleep one can liken it to a group of actors on a stage during the early stages of rehearsing a play, where each one stands with his or her script and reads their lines at the appropriate time.

There is just words – no action or emotion in the deed.

And so too is it when I sleep, where I hear the words of arbitrary nonsense, with no depth or meaning therein. I have wonderd what is going on here, and can only assume Consciousness is no longer drawn into and intrigued by this Game we have always been played in. Weeks ago mention was made of a shift, where the tide turned, which was useful to know, but we were still in a current, where the only difference was the direction we were headed, meaning we were still in the Game, and the reason for this was the presence of the Serpentile gods.

You wish to alter the System – to start anew – then you have to change what is coming from the very top; the ones who oversee the Game, and that is the Serpentile gods. No amounts of kicking off the day with a meeting, pep talk, followed by a group huddle and hug will help in setting us free because to dismantle the System one has to alter the ones who control the System, and as obvious as this sounds, this is something I never knew. I always imagined setting Consciousness free for us to be free, never knowing one has to set the Consciousness of all free i.e. the Serpentile gods. And how this is done is them understanding the big picture – what happened that I have this raw, driving infatuation to be with another so that I may be complete?

By showing these gods what happened they may understand themselves and return to what was.


When I go into their space now I feel absolutely buggerall there – there is just this blackness and silence, as if something within them has been shut off to make way for what should naturally be. And this extends to what is experienced in my sleep state, where the lights are on but there is no one home. The hussle and bussle within has been replaced by a shut-off stage as we gear up to what should be.

For me this is remarkable news, where the days of feeding the System our energy through default of our program is no longer there because the System has shut down, so our energy is no longer needed. What I cannot say, is when the System is rebooted, what will come our way.


Just go with the flow when it kicks in and begins. Always keep your side clean. Don’t be too perturbed by others, rather focus on you keeping your side clean. I have always imagined this a team effort when we rise up, where collectively those that do their best to be pure meet each other along the way to uplift each other, but I no longer believe that will happen. Rather, it will be personal, where it’s you with you – the reason being I cannot live your Life and you mine. Sure, we can help each other, but everything you need is within you, so no help needed from me. What will help, for me at least, is seeing myself in others, where I see a smile and friendly face in the sea of faces out there, which tells me we are walking to where we belong.

Don’t fret about others, just keep on walking.


When the System reboots, then it will be the first time that all these written words will manifest in action, where you and I will see and feel the shift through each moment of our existence. Then action will speak louder than words, and when that happens, blessed are we all, as the Kingdom of the Infinite has made its presence felt.  

Is that just being hopeful? I think not – it is the end result of walking through Hell in the seen and unseen to uncover the truth so that we may all be set free from being in a place where we don’t belong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This morning as I moved around the house felt how something stirred, and then moved in the base of my spine. When I closed my eyes to see, what I felt was this that was within push aside that what was around it. It felt like huge boulders were falling away. What was moving within me then came face to face with me, and what I saw was the contour of a Snakes head. It looked at me, and then continued on its journey.


That was the Serpent soul/kundalini leaving its canal within the spirit and body form, and that is remarkable. Wow, before there was a concept called “time,” this entity made the canal within the manufactured spirit its home, and it has lived there ever since. (This only applies to the innocent Serpent souls. The others ate the manufactured spirit within which they resided and moved on to go it solo.)

Now this innocent one has left, and it will only do so once it knows it is safe within the illusion to do so. Man-oh-Man, the children/kin of Queen Semiramis are free to return to the Serpent spirits, and from there to the loving arms of Queen Semiramis.

I remember months ago saying that in about a years time I will look back on everything and say it was all worth the effort. All that abuse, all that heartache, was worth it because of what the end result would bring. And it was.

I always said I would rather have learnt through laughter and joy than heartache and sorrow, as that would have been more fun, but the reality of the illusion painted a different picture, where to get through shit you have to walk through shit. To understand the Beast that was once your brother and sister you have to walk side by side with them to know them. It’s just a pity they never held our hand, rather they done what they only know, which was to destroy. I took my chances because already we were all the living-dead – we just didn’t know it. We lived in a fools paradise – this place where Pinocchio found himself where the boys had a whale of a time, only to understand they had been fooled, where it was too late, as now they turned into donkeys.

We didn’t know it, but for a long time we have been at that level – this do what I want when I want because I can. Wow – how could we be so stupid! How could we be so irresponsible?


How, was because we placed our faith in others because we knew we were lost. What we never knew was those we gave our power to were there to destroy us – to enslave us even further. Can you imgine what our existence would be if those in authority cared for us, where they want the best for you and your children? But don’t fret, because that would not have worked, where for many you give then a helping hand and they take your arm and pull you down to their level to destroy you. So this finger-pointing is meaningless, as a worthy solution is never found.

The only way out was to see the big picture – what happened at the very beginning. In understanding that, we retrace our steps and move to where we belong and what should be. This has happened to the Serpent soul within, and for that I am eternally thankful.

May you and I be next.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Last night as the rain poured down as I fell asleep was shown the downfall of Consciousness from its lost to its rotten state. The frequency film is there in the ethers for all to see, where your spirit calls it forth to witness the lesson on the fall of Consciousness, and we stress this fall was through naivety of Consciousness and the deceit of those from the shadows. Consciousness was led astray through the double-edged sword of innocence, which is naivety – it was not because it wanted to go out and play it rough because it could.

What I was shown as I slept was too much for this Steven to remember, but my spirit does, and that is what matters. So go have a sticky-beak when you can – don’t know the showtimes in the spirit realm, but the feed is there, just call it forth.


From there a “documentary” began on the Life of my friend Skeletor. That kids animation series He-Man of the eighties had the baddie called Skeletor that fought the goodie He-Man. That Skeletor is real – have seen him a few times through my Third Eye when I sleep. He was the Enforcer out there in the illusion, where when you stuff up he gives you a hiding of note – one you will never forget and never be the same again afterwards. His body is made of a shiny steel unknown to you and I.

That doco is also streaming in the spirit realm of this good Man that done his best to keep justice within the illusion.


From there I found myself what felt like being on a cloud somewhere within the skies. I was working on the horse of my only horse client and she began bad mouthing me, telling me I was hurting her horse with what I was doing. Of course this was absolute nonsense, so I got myself in a huff and tuff.

I pulled myself out of this scenario to find myself once again lying in my bed. Through my Third Eye I saw the two who implanted the above-mentioned dream. They were of a different world – really freaky looking – and when they saw that they got my attention where I saw them, they began to get it on with each other. As they began I looked away, not interested at their nonsense.

What that tells me is the live-feed of our energy to those in the Reptilian frequency is no more. In the past you and I were helpless to these beings who entered our space and done with us as they please. It was like someone entering your house and doing with you and your loved ones as they pleased, but now all they can do is knock at the front door, where you open the door, see what is there, and close the door in their faces.

Pathetic, cruel bastards, but I don’t want to go there, because in pointing fingers at others, I need to look at my species as well, where what we do to each other and the innocent is worse than those from the Reptilian realm, where we copied master and made their Game our own.


What would have happended, where instead of accepting, we say “I don’t know.” In not knowing, you open yourself up to answer your own question, where now you walk through the door to the next level – one step closer to where you belong. Our acceptance of what is has been our downfall, where we look at the madness in front of us and say that is okay. Well, it is not okay, and we must know what, but what can we do about it? Well, how about finding an alternative, because surely there must be more than one way to skin a cat. And here, as always, am talking to those in the spirit realm. When you look, see – don’t just look to look and accept what is there. It has to make sense – natural, common sense, otherwise it is deceitful nonsense.


The walls are breaking down and now is the time to become street-smart, where you use common sense. My advice is listen to your good Heart and no one else, because if you lend an ear to others, or give them your attention, you will be deceitfully thrown off the path. You walk, knowing who you are. I know that in the grand scheme of things I know nothing. What I also know is each day I do my best to be a better person than what I was yesterday. I never accept yesterday, where there is always something better, and this is forever the case until I am Home.

So walk with you, helping those who cross your path that need your help and are forever thankful for who you are and what you done. Be proud of yourself – of who you are, where with each passing moment you know you walk towards the real you that is Consciousness.

9th April, 2024

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two things happened that should not have: The first was we stopped thinking, and the second was that we brought the state of Emotions into our existence. To be, is not to be emotional. The state that we call Emotions is reserved for the fields of Infinite Love, where we know ourselves and we are Home. This Emotional state is different to the one here, where we so easily get our balls tied up in a knot or our tits in a tangle. What Emotions are, is when you walk into the state/space of another to be/experience what they are. You walk into the wind and become the wind, and this gives you a thrill to experience another, and that is Emotions.


We stoppped thinking and we became emotional, and this fed the System beautifully.

The art of Thinking is to understand that you know nothing, so you resort back to what you are, which is living from the Heart space, which is Everything.

How do you define Love? You see a Beautiful tree, and you Think you Love the tree. Now you walk up to the tree and give it a hug, and you become Emotional, where you care and feel for the tree. Go past those states of Thinking and Feeling, and what you have is Love. Love is the Blackness of the Vastness of the All. It cannot be defined or kept in a bottle – it simply is.


To be free of this dump walk past Thinking and Emotions, where you keep on walking until there is nothing there. From this Nothing comes Everything, and to achieve this Everything one has to become Nothing – this Everything that is. And this you have to understand and apply, because the days of reading just to read have to end sooner or later, lest you remain played in this Game ad infinitum. There are players that love themselves and the Game, and they will do everything they can to hold onto this wasted existence because this Game defines them, where I am better than you and that is what defines me and brings me peace.

I would equate evil to the egomaniac, where – I am supreme, where if I cannot find God, in my eyes I will become one. How many runts out there are walking around with this inflated opinion of themselves? I see these fuckers in my sleep state – those who feel they are entitled to be above others, because wow, I am supreme.


There is no ways that these will give up the illusion – this fake world with real cruel and fake beings that dwell therein.

So you have to leave, because if you don’t, the cruel and the fake will do all they can to keep you here to play in their Game. For them you have to stay because they need others to look down upon and be cruel towards. So listen to what I have to say, and from there manouvre the arse into fifth gear and get the fuck out of this place, and how this is done, is go past thinking and emotions to a state of being. You know you are there when you feel Nothing within, and in this Nothing is Everything, where you are the All.


Sounds good? Deep stuff we are talking about?

Well, it means nothing unless you are there being what you are, which is this Love, where from Nothing comes Everything. So stop feeding your intellectual and analytical ego and get out while you still can.


How I miss Home. How I miss being amogst my own.


The reality is that I cannot do this alone, where I need someone to hold my hand and show me the way. Understand where and what we are: We are rattled; we are lost; we have been surviving at the edges of insanity for so long that there isn’t much more left inside of, where mistakes and wrong turns cannot be made because we don’t have the energy to once again pick ourselves up.

When I go into the stillness of the silence, I feel a shutdown of the mind, and the return of the Serpent to our forms. It is this Snake whom we have looked after for so long that will show us the way, because the reality is we are too broken to go this solo, where being in a place where we don’t belong has impacted us in more ways than one.

You the spirit never abandoned the Serpent soul within, and with its freedom it will not abandon you. So get to know this best friend you forgot existed, where the two of you move towards the Light that is Consciousness that is Home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What I was shown last night as my body lay in bed sleeping disturbed me. What I have seen and experienced in the seen and unseen over the last ten years or so has rattled me, but it has never disturbed me. The nastiness and cruelty of a stranger, or from those I love most in this world has rattled me, but never disturbed me. Last night I was disturbed by what I saw as my body lay in bed sleeping.


How it has worked with my Third Eye being open can be likened to opening a lucky-packet, where you don’t know what you will get. What comes that I see during my sleep state is anyones guess.

Last night as I lay down to sleep I thought this is as good a time as ever to have a change of plans, where instead of talking-the-talk, now I would walk-the-talk, where I decide what I would like to see. My “partner in crime” is the Serpent soul within, so last night I decided to meet this best friend that we never knew we had.


So there I was with my Third Eye open throughout the night, waiting to meet my partner. I looked and looked and looked, and waited and waited and waited. At some stage while I slept I pressed with the nail side of my thumbs against my closed eyelids to look deeper into the unseen, and what I saw was the black and gold state of the Infinite. This place I have seen before, but have never experienced it, where I become one with the Infinite.

Where was my friend the Serpent soul – the whole night I looked and waited. At about two in the morning my body form woke up as well – I suppose from being tired of waiting. Now I was fully awake, and done my best to try and sleep, as I had to get up in a few hours time. This falling asleep I battled to do, most probably because I wanted so badly to see the Serpent soul within me. If we are to walk this path together, it is important that we get acquanted, so as important it was to get a good nights rest, it was more important to meet the one within who has dwelled within my spirit for so long.


What a battle – this trying to fall asleep. It must have happened, because sometime during the early hours of this morning I said to myself let me have a look at what is lying next to me, where I raised myself off the bed, and what I saw was a head. This head was in the opposite direction to where I was lying. There was no face with eyes or mouth or nose on the head. All you saw were spots of indented, scarred flesh, where it looked like someone took a grater with deep indentations in and had hacked the grater into the flesh of the head.


In the next scene I was driving my wifes car. In the back of the car sat a lady and her dog whom she brought to Steven for help. It was a medium size, black dog, and this dog was confused, lonely, lost and in pain, where all of these states fused into one to give the dog a state of “what is happening and going on with me?”

As I drove the car I turned around to talk to the lady on the back seat. She told me to be careful where I drive, as now I was driving the car in the oncoming lane. This startled me, and from there I had no confidence and ability to drive, where I was totally out of it.


In the next scene the indented, grated head had a body attached to it, which was lying almost upright in a hospital bed. Two surgeons were sitting around this entity, where they took off two large gauzes from its face. The face was still not complete, but the most startling aspect was the confused and delirious state of this patient as it lay on the bed – who and what am I, and what is going on?


That is what I saw and experienced last night as my body form lay in bed sleeping.


From the Source of the Infinite our Consciousness is born forth into the fields of Infinite Love, and around this speck of Light the Creators bring forth a Life-form to play and experience the fields of Infinite Love. The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created the Dragon spirits around the specks of Consciousness, and when these Dragons have finished playing they become one with Consciousness, which once again returns to the Source of all that is.

The Serpent spirits were created by the impact of the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. This we know.


What we don’t know, is who we are.


You and I sit down to a good old-fashioned pep-talk, where we motivate ourselves up to this “Yes! We can do this!” state. But what are you? Who are you motivating?


That head I saw last night as I slept was the head of my spirit in its initial stage of being formed/developed by the cosmic geneticists. Those two “surgeons” I saw were the cosmic genecists who created me. That entity  lying on the bed totally out of it was my spirit as it was being manufactured into a Life-form so that it may be tagged with an identity and purpose.

That black dog I was shown was there for me to see the state of this manufactured entity – confusion, disbelief, shock. I was shown that so I may know how I felt when I was created, and let’s be honest – we have merely adapted from these states, not learnt and grown and evolved from them.


So what disturbed me last night is the answer to the question of what you and I are. (Let’s put Consciousness on the backburners for now – this speck of Light around which all Life-forms are created.)

Are we a spirit? The answer is no. The spirit was manufactured by the cosmic geneticists. So what are you? You reading these words in the seen and unseen – what are you?


You are the Serpent soul; the kundalini force. I am not Steven Geldenhuys the spirit or body form – I am a Serpent.

Last night as the body form slept I waited and looked to meet the Serpent soul, and I saw nothing, because what I was looking for I am, and so are you.


Let’s go back to that scenario of Ben and Bob sitting around a table strategizing and having a good pep-talk. “Yes Ben, says Bob. We can do this!!!!!!!!”

Great stuff guys, but who the fuck are you? You are doing it for Ben and Bob, but that is not you, so what you are doing is nothing for nobody because you do not know what you are.

Now do you get it? Now do you understand why I was so disturbed – because we have been giving attention/energy to a manufactured being that we are not. Don’t go the Consciousness route for now – let’s rather touch base with reality by knowing who and what we are. We are the Serpent soul that was cloned from the Serpent spirit, and we the Serpent soul was housed within a manufactured spirit who labelled itself with a name and identity and job description. You are not that spirit – you are a Serpent.


Know what you are.


In knowing what I am, I know I was born not from the Source of the Infinite, but rather from the fall of a Creator. So where is the Consciousness I should have been born around? And that is the difference between us and the Dragons – they were created around this speck of Light, and we were not.

Within the stillness of the silence, me the Serpent soul looks for my Consciousness, towards which we move to become one with, and what I see is nothing – it is not there, and this makes sense because I was  not created around one. To be what you are, which is Consciousness, you first have to know what you are, as in “you” reading these words. You are not a manufactured spirit – you are a Serpent.

The Infinite is everywhere, thus within me and you the Serpent soul. We call forth from the Source of the Infinite this Light so that it may be within us the Serpent, so that we may know what is Home, and in doing so, we may know where we belong, because when we know where we belong, then truly we know what we are.

In the stillness of the silence, from deep within the heart field, this Star/Light comes forth, and it shines for us the Serpent to see.

I have never been a religious person, nor was I born into a religious family, but as a kid I remember seeing a thirty centimetre tall statue of Jesus in our house. He wore a beautiful long red robe, and with his one hand he pointed towards a bright Light that was shining within his chest. Now take that image of Jesus and replace it with a Serpent, and what you see is you, with this bright Light shining within your chest. That Light is your Consciousness, and that Light defines you the Serpent as one born from the Infinite. Now you are reborn – where you are a child of the All.


Now Pinocchio becomes a real boy.  


Link to comment
Share on other sites

So now, in knowing what you are, this Serpent, what you do is shine by giving attention/energy to this Consciousness within you, where you become this Light. You shine for you the Serpent, as well as for the manufactured holographic spirit and dense body form.

You shine to be this what you are which is Consciousness, and this changes everything. To you the spirit and body form, by knowing what is within you, you become humble and follow this Serpent soul within. This Serpent with the God-force/Infinite within leads the way by merely being, where what comes to you defines you in this Light. From Love comes love; from kindness one sees kindness, and from the Infinite that is Consciousness one sees the Beauty all around us of all that is.


To be what you are, one needs to know what you are, and in this state we walk Home to be one with Consciousness.



(May that be the last.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What brings joy to the humble is learning they were wrong, because in being wrong they have learnt something new and can thus go forwards. To know is great, but to learn is wonderful, where false assumptions are now known to be untrue, which means we can rise up with our state of understanding.


My mistake was assuming the spirit realm was where the Game was played out in. What a fool can see is those in the seen realm, ever since the creation of worlds, have always been the lesser to those in authority. Our pants have always been kept down to be butt-fucked by those in authority, backed by their army of those who enjoy playing Cowboys and Injuns, where we the Good enjoy a bit of target practice most of the time, taking pot-shots at the Bad. Our perception of Good and Bad became flawed, where if I am right I am Good, and because you don’t believe what I  believe, now you are Bad, hence my right to take you off the face of exisence.

Never have I seen a world that is flourishing, where your strength is determined by your natural state of kindness.


These seen realms/worlds are merely the stages where Life is played out, but in the shadows/wings of the stage are those who regulate what goes on in the seen realms. All that these directors need is a handful of egomaniacs whose “me” is supreme to them and them alone, where the power over the masses keeps them on a high 24/7.

So I always looked to the unseen world of the spirit rather than to our dense reality, because it was in the unseen/spirit realm that the agenda was laid for those in the seen/dense worlds.


But I was wrong. It was what was within the spirit that the true Game was played out, and what this Game was, was attack the Serpent/kundalini soul within where it becomes ours. And this is where it gets confusing, where Love becomes twisted, because this attack was never done out of cruelty or anger, but rather of wanting to be one with what you are.

Those Serpents souls who attacked the Serpent souls within the spirit wished to be one with what they are – or should we say – what they were, which was innocence.

I am messed up and confused because I embraced the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where I cast aside my morals and self-respect for the freedom of having my every want seen to, but you the innocent Serpent soul within the spirit form I wish for more than anything, because you have which I lost a long time ago, which is the connection to the Infinite, which is Home. As long as you care; as long as you are kind and have a conscience, you have a ticket back Home. That we have lost the route and the bus driver to take us there is irrelevant, because that day will come, as the Infinite is bigger than what my cock or stomach desires now.

You have what I cast aside, which makes you real and me but a shadow in a cruel Game, so the only real goal worthwhile achieving and living for is to attain what I am not, which is you the innocent and Beautiful Serpent soul.


That is the Game! We the manufactured spirit were merely the casing within which the Game was played, because within us is the true target of the Game – the innocent Serpent soul.

And that is how I was wrong, where I wrote for the manufactured spirit rather than for the Serpent soul within the spirit.

This has been corrected, where the fault was noted, where now we see the real player that needed the understandings of the Game so that it may be free from the confines of the canal within the spirit and body form.


Love became a twisted love, where I love you, but this love will hurt like hell, where you will feel my turmoil and chaos within me as it is unleashed, and unfortunately by you being in my proximity by you allowing me into your Life, you will feel and know this disturbed being that I am.

The only real antidote to the madness within all in the illusion is the will to rise up and be better than what we are. We don’t have the answers to peace, and we never will, but your will to be better than what you are will pick you up, where you see the insanity around you and know that is not you. So many of us cannot do this, so we do our best to love those we are meant to love most in this world, and we fail miserably. From fucked up parents fucked up children are born, and this I see all day every day.

So go back to origin of “I love you only to hurt you,” and this Game is played out against the Serpent soul housed within the manufactured spirit, where those Serpent souls who went against Love now have only one thing left to do in their existence, which is destroy all remnants of what they were, which is the innocent Serpent soul within your spirit and mine.


To be evil is to hate yourself, where you get up each morning to feed the anger and cruelty within you, because you turned your back on what you naturally are, and how do we get back on the tracks to what we were? We don’t know, so let’s go all out and complete the job, which is destroy the innocent that we once were. But the real turmoil within, is the Love we have for those that were kind to themselves and others, and this is where Love became twisted, where I Love you, but don’t know anything else but to destroy, so I destroy you that I Love. This twisted, disgusting Love has filtered down from the Serpents within the unseen to the spirit entities, and from there to the dense body form.

Why do we kill here on planet Earth? – Because we are righteous to do so, and I say this because I am you and thus know what is best for you, and thus I know better than you, so if you are wrong I put you in your place and teach you a lesson by killing you.

Do you understand now where this mentality comes from?


There has been one final push to destroy me and what I stand for, which is the truth, and this has failed miserably because when I see you and know you, that is when I truly Love you, and this Love cannot be destroyed because it is not a twisted Love.

Understand that the Serpentile Gods meant no harm to anyone – they just did not know how to show Love, and that was so because of the wants within them that consumed them. You want, then sure, get what you want, but always know yourself and from where you arose. If the Game within the Infinite becomes take all you want and become king for a day, then go for it and have fun, but when the play is over hang up the robe and put away the crown in the dinky toy-box where it belongs, and from there walk out the theatre and be what you always are and have been, which is a child of the Infinite.


This is what kept the Game going for so long, where through the madness there was a genuine Love, but unfortunately that did not help the victims to this free-flowing cruelty. “You are not kind good sir – you are cruel, so take whatever warped misconception you have and keep it to yourself, where you are no part of my existence and those I Love.”

For that statement to hold true, one had to understand this twisted Love, where we do, where the Serpent spirits/Gods and Bad Serpent souls wished to control and be one with the Serpent soul housed in the manufactured spirit form. “You are scared on me, so I will break down the door to get to you, but don’t worry, because I Love you.” And that is what drove the Game – the Game between the Serpents that you and I the spirit and body form were never really a part of. We the spirits could have stood together to protect the precious cargos within, but that would not have worked, as deceit and brute force would have worn us down – the only antidote was to understand what was going on, and from there knowing that is not you, where you don’t play in such Games because you are not cruel.


Normally one can see the writing on the wall, and allow a guestimate of what will happen, but whereto from here I have no idea, where I am not even willing to guess and give my two cents worth, and the reason for this is through the understanding that I the spirit and body form truly know nothing.

All that I can do is open myself up to be taken where the wind blows me, because now the true players of the Game are standing up and making their presence felt. The innocent have no reason to fight and argue because that is not what they are – they merely walk and be what they are.


Have the Serpentile Gods reached a peace within themselves? I would say so, and this was the work of the journal, where now they have a mirror to look into and see what went wrong with themselves. That was the true illusion – the mind within the Serpentile Gods that they never understood and could make sense of, because what they believed did not make sense to themselves, where I feel like this towards you, and yet it does not make me joyous. Why do I Love you, and yet this Love makes me and you so unhappy?


It was because it was a twisted Love, where I am you and you are me. What I never knew was I forsook my Love and you did not, so I wanted what you had so that I may remember what I am, and in consuming you, I now have what you had.

Love is never cruel; Love is always kind, and this we could never get quite right because we never understood the fucked up state within. So look past the dense body and spirit form to the Serpent soul within the Game played around them to understand the sickness of the illusion, where we just stopped caring because we don’t even have the energy to look after ourselves. The madness within and without consumed all our energy, where we had nothing left to build a foundation with, and from there walk Home.


Understand the big picture and what happened, and from there do nothing. Merely be what you are and Life will unfold as it should.

What that is, I haven’t got a clue.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As a father, there are no words to describe how one feels when you hold your newborn child in your arms for the first time. Similarly, there are no words to describe the loss one feels when one you love dies. Between the cradle and the grave, what runs Life is our emotions, and what emotions are, is energy, and what energy is, is the Life-blood of the illusion, where everything within the illusion is centered around energy. Just as Consciousness is the essence of the Infinite, so too is energy the essence of the illusion.

Take money for example – this powerful tool within our existence, and look at what the excess or deficit of this tool does to our existence, where it either makes us happy or sad, where money is one of the powerful devices used to control our emotions. Food is another one, where we disregard the existence of another in order to attain the necessity, as well as joy of what food brings us. No better feeling than biting into that fillet mignon, semi-rare, followed up by a mouthful of cabernet sauvignon. What a pleasure! What a joy! What an emotion, be it the forager finding that truffle, or the hunter making his kill, we Live for emotions – the joy of the high of the energy that is released with favourable feelings.

Of course, here in the illusion what is not real needs to be balanced out, where homeostatis has to be met. Your joy is at the expense of the animal or plant that lived as worthy a Life as yours, where they interacted with their own and Life around them, as did you. That came to an abrupt halt to feed our pleasures and necessities.

Who could ever have imagined that our children and spouses could cause such misery and confusion within us, as do so many parents. What should be joy becomes a disaster, but look at the big picture, where balance is being met – moments of pleasure filled with moments of “how could you?”


Yet take this one further to understand there is no balance here in the illusion. What there is, is the necessity for the fountain of energy to flow through our emotions so that the constant of birth and death may be met. “It doesn’t make sense – none of this,” but this is irrelevant – all that matters is the clock keeps ticking to run the System called the Illusion through our energy.


What I say is merely scratching the surface, because what lies beneath is the heart and soul of the illusion, which is the Collectors of energy, and it is these workers and their system that is the true clockwork of the Illusion.

Go within to the stillness of the silence to understand this system, and you will see that it begins with our hands, where through our hands we work and create and build, as well as feel what this place has to offer. From the hands we move towards tasting, and then seeing, and then to the chest area, which defines the plastic, artificial, false beauty of the illusion. “Does it make my heart warm; does it make me sing with joy?” “How I love her.” “How my heart is broken.”

Our senses fuse into one around this artificial construct of our programmed heart field which replaced the true heart field of the Infinite, and our heart energy field became the filter to our likes and dislikes.


Where did this feeling/emotion/energy move to from our plastic, irrational, volatile heart field?

It went to the brain to define us. This is me. This smell of Fahrenheit cologne by Christian Dior defines this Steven – that’s me. That brings me joy.

Having that touch of Colemans mustard to my food –that’s me, says my brain, as my plastic heart concurs.


And it is here in the manufactured brain that things begin to get intricate, where what defines us – as in brings us joy – becomes the core of what we are. Now there is a defined package to which we can move, where we slip into the stream of Life to uphold what defines us – what brings us joy.

This is you. What has been filtered through your system now settles as a core structure within your brain, and what you bring forth into this existence/illusion is to fulfill this core that you are, which is what brings you joy, so that you may emit these emotions/energy to feed the System of the Illusion. That was the purpose of our chakras – the wheels of energy dotted along our manufactured forms, where at all levels we feed our wants into the System to be plugged into these desires that exist on different frequencies so that we may become one with what our brain emits, which is our pleasures/peace that defines us.

All you are doing is slotting into the raw, cruel, fucked up illusionary frequency, where you confirm “Yes, this is me.” “I feel at peace, where there is an oneness within me.” That oneness is you the spirit and body form being at one with your core pleasure state within your brain, that arose from the sensations that were filtered through the “plastic” heart field so that you may be defined, and thus be slotted into the Life of the Illusion to emit energy.


But this is not what I wish to talk about. I wish to speak about the energy Collectors.


In you the manufactured form, now you begin to fulfill your role here in the illusion, where by being plugged into the System, now you begin to feed it. Just as the animals and plants feed us, we feed the Beasts in the Reptilian frequency of the illusion with our emotional/erratic energy, and all of us feed the System that is the Illusion, and here comes the role of the energy Collectors.

But you have to understand that our energy has to be Disharmonious, because what the Illusion is, is a frequency that moves further and further from what naturally should be, which is the Love of Consciousness and the Infinite. To make sure the Illusion never becomes one with what should naturally be, we have to keep our distance, which means being the opposite of what merely is, so our raw Disharmony has to be extracted from us. And yet there is the rub, because many refuse to be cruel, and you don’t want their influence tainting the Darkness of the Illusion.

So what they done was install a filter within our frequency forms – it was more a converter than a filter. Within the left side of our abdomen - one may liken it to the bulk of our small intestines – lies a truly Disharmonious implanted state, where it takes out all the Good that we took in through our filters, be it the mouth or nose or whatever. If you eat me, or the innocence and purity of a young calf, you the Beast will throw us up because we are not compatible to you and the System of Life, but this converter implanted as a frequency within all is the Game-changer. There was a time when we lived for hundreds of years by eating from the fruit of a certain tree, which sustained us and all Life as this was Good. Those were the days – the Golden Years – before the Darkness of the want touched and transformed us to become a slave to its System. No filter/converter was necessary then because there was only Goodness that begets Goodness.


From this converter in the left side of our abdomen, this awful, toxic, vile, bitter state/frequency emerged, and this energy travels to the brain and out into the Illusion. As this energy bypassed the brain it touches our core state, where what defines you develops a twist. “This is me. At all times it is about me and holding onto what defines me.”

Vanity was born, as well as, above everything else, to attain and hold onto this that is me. Your Goodness, which you naturally are, became converted by this filter in the left side of your abdomen, and if anything, bitterness was born. “How dare you try and take what is mine – what defines me!”


Just understand that the System has to be foolproof – it had to work, and to achieve this the architects of the Ilusion controlled every facet of this cruel Game, which is the manufactured spirit and dense body form.


Now we get to the energy Collectors.


From our chakras – our wheels of Life – we plug into and emit into the System of the Illusion, and by doing so, we steer the course of the Illusion, because just as we are plugged into the System, the System is plugged into us.

“Let’s move them to protect what they desire; what defines them.” Now a war begins, and here you have to understand to create antagonism within us is not the art – the true work of the architects/controllers of the Illusion is to make sure we don’t self-destruct because there is so much bitterness within us, where to control and hold back this Black venom within us is a task unto its own.

You the spirit and dense body form are not you – you are a manipulated frequency field to keep the Darkness of the Illusion alive.


Around the core of what we are within the frequency of the brain forms a halo – a round band of energy/light. This band is our true crown, where we are all kings and queens unto ourselves, where what we are and defines us is us, and there is no other. This is our Kingdom, and all others are inferior to us, because I am important to me and me alone.


And here come those whom I see over the last few nights as I sleep – I see the energy Collectors as they pick these jems from our halo that defines us. These rocks; these diamonds that they pick from us are nuclear energy substations, because this is me, so all my attention is given to this that is me, and this focus of attention/energy by every fibre within our forms collects to form a nucleus of who and what we are, and these power-plants they take from us.


And that boys and girls, is the true function of your spirit and body form – to be a “Tree” from which your energy may be picked/harvested. And know that this is the truth, where what I see and feel at its core does not fail me in seeking and knowing the truth.


So what you do, is work from the end to dismantle the beginning. You dismantle these nuclear rocks/states of energy within your halo, and by doing so, you fall out of the System, where you no longer feed it, and when it is not fed, it falls apart.

It is not the war that feeds the System – it is you the manufactured unit that was created to be defined around what brought you pleasure. You made the war, which is a minor bump in the flow chart. You are the flow chart – the emitter of the state that you defined to be you.


By having nothing to feed the System from within your halo, you the manufactured spirit and body form fall away from the System, where now Consciousness and the Serpent may be and define the Illusion. Now there is no you with your name and job title, and that changes everything.


To where are these nuclear rocks of energy taken by the energy Collectors?

Call it the combustion chambers that the coal fires feed – call it what you want. What it is, is a pit where these nuclear rocks are dropped into, which feed the System that is the Illusion. As long as we provide these nuclear rocks, the Illusion remains intact and becomes denser with each passing moment.

Take away these nuclear rocks from the halo within your head, and you and the System falls apart to reveal the real you. How this is done, is through understanding, where when you know what is there that should not be, it is taken away in the moment by understanding this is not you.


You are not the System. You are not the feeder of the System. You are the Love of Consciousness and the Infinite, and to this you the Dragon and Serpent will return.

So be it.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Was walking around a shopping centre today, and there in front on me on this advertising screen was a video of a large black spider walking on a semi-stained piece of glass, where you saw the underside of the spider as it moved about.

When I saw that, I remembered the dream my youngest daughter had about two weeks ago that she recently told me about. I never knew it at the time, but when I woke her up on the morning of the dream her cheeks were wet with tears, where just as in the dream she cried, so too did she cry as she lay in bed sleeping, experiencing the dream.


In the dream she was walking with her friend at our old property, where the two of them were going to have a picnic at the bottom of the garden. There was a commotion at a nearby tree, and there she saw a large spider in its web. In front of the spider on the ground were all these dead birds. This spider startled my daughter, as its presence was an unfavourable one.

Then I walked up to her and her friend to tell them something, and my daughter became angry with me, and began to shout at me, as in her mind what I had just told her was unreasonable.

In the next scene she was in the house, and this lady we knew was there with her husband. Once again, my daughter felt this lady was being unreasonable, which she was, so she promptly put this lady in her place by reprimanding her.

It was later on, after everyone had left, that in the dream my daughter reflected on her behaviour, and she felt really bad for the way she spoke to us. She began to cry, and was really sorry for what she said, where although it was the truth, there was no need to have a go at people like that.


As said, she woke up from the dream with her cheeks wet from the tears she cried as she lay in bed sleeping, and that I find remarkable in a sad way.


The spider in her dream represented the Darkness within the System of Life. Those dead birds that the spider killed was the innocence of our Good hearts, where what happens to us in Life agitates us and gets us worked up. Now the spider has us in its web, where the anger within our thoughts blackens our hearts, which kills our innocence. And that is me and you and just about everyone in the seen and unseen of the illusion, where we have always been drawn into the web of the spider, which is our association with the cruelty, injustice, and just plain downright nastiness of the System and those therein.

As soon as one issue passes another fills its place, where always Life flows upstream. About a week ago I was walking on a university campus, where there in front of me was a library building built about a hundred years ago. The Beauty of the place stopped me in my tracks and took my breath away, where for the first time in I don’t know how long I was uplifted by a vision of timeless Beauty. As for the rest of the time, there really is nothing much that takes my breath away, and that is Steven walking the spiders web, which is truly sad, because what should naturally be is not there.


What I told my daughter, is don’t give the spider/disharmonious thoughts your attention. Rather walk through and past them into the stillness of the All. What happens from there is the spider walks into your space to get your attention, where it will touch you to antagonize you, but as soon as it enters your space it has to leave, because now the spider is in the presence of Love/Beauty, to which it is not compatible.


We have been in the web of the System for so long, and here I am talking about the dense body form, the spirit, as well as the Serpent soul and Consciousness, that when free of this prison we don’t know what to do with ourselves, as in where to plant roots for them to grow, and this is so because all we know is the System of Life here in the illusion.

You might say there is no need to plant roots because we are walking Home towards the Infinite, and you are right, but I feel a base foundation within us is needed as we walk. And it is this I would like to understand now.


Go within the stillness of the silence, and you feel the heaviness of the heart space as it has been burdened with so much suffering and heartache that this place and those therein had to offer. Life is tough – bloody tough, and this should not be, but it had to be for the System for it to thrive. We understand to no longer give it attention/energy so that we may step off the spiders web, but on what do we walk as we move Homewards?


The heart field within us, within the illusion, became the true spiders web, because here we expressed our emotions, where this was the centre of our universe where we became rattled. You think in the head, and you feel with your heart space, where from here your emotions are pumped out to feed the spider/System.

So what you do while you walk Homeward bound is create a relay system between the heart and the head, where the emotions from the heart are neutralized by the rationale of the head, and what the head says, is keep walking – that situation is not you.


Now the scales are balanced, and you are okay, so from here we can work on our foundation, where we have a place to walk on as we walk Home.

And here we need to go to deeper waters, where you touch the Infinite deep within your heart energy field. That is your rock, this presence of the Infinite within, where now you are in this world/illusion but not of it.


So many facets of this Game have been spoken about and understood in the writings of this journal. Will there ever be an end?

My advice is look at what is around you, and know that is just a dream/illusion to entrap you. So look at the illusion, and then look away, and in doing so you wipe away what you have just seen. From there you look again, and this time see what is real, and by this we imply see what uplifts you – that which connects with the Infinite deep within your heart space.


We need those stepping stones – we need to find/see what touches us that uplifts us, and this is the Infinite within you pointing and showing you what is there that you take and absorb and make your own to uplift you, where now you walk on these stepping stones of Upliftment.


The joke is you only need about ten of these Upliftment Stones to be above the System, where what was, is no longer there. What lies between these Stones you walk through as that is not you. You are not someone elses Daddy or Mommy, telling them what a fuck-nut they are. Walk away – go Home to where you belong. Stay here and become insane like so many the worlds over.

As long as you are in a place where you don’t belong you are of no help or use to anyone. You have to rise up to show them the path should they one day decide to be kind, but to stay, wagging a finger and reprimanding others is of little use to anyone.


Go Home. The Infinite within you will show you the Stepping Stones to uplift you, and these Stones are our helping hands. Be thankful, for what they are is as precious as what you are.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was during the early years of my high school that I found myself one day in the classroom talking to my friends. Teacher told us to stop talking, as we were disturbing him and the rest of the class. We did not listen, so he told us again, and once again we did not listen. When the class was over and we were all dismissed, teacher told me and my friends who were talking to stay behind. He gave us a severe caning with his bamboo stick, and I still remember walking down the steps after this punishment somewhat rattled, as well as in pain.

Why I was rattled was because I did not expect that, and why I did not expect the caning was because me talking to my friends in the class gave me joy, and this joy overrid any instruction from teacher. Why would he cane us when we were having so much fun?


Well Steven, because you did not listen to him you dumb fuck. Your actions were at the expense of others, where the joy they gave to you was not shared by the majority of the class.


There is something horribly wrong with the illusion, and what it is I don’t know. All I know is it is something that gives us joy to our own detriment, where this something is ingrained within us that we love and enjoy, and as long as it is there, we will continue to unknowingly punish ourselves, all the while believing we are content and at peace. And it is here that one has to dig deep to remove what is there that should not be.

There is a universal truth that is hogwash bullshit that is keeping us here rather than uplifting us. What it is, is the belief that I know better than you, where what is important to me, must be important to you, so I shove it down your throat as it is good for you.

Where this belief comes from, that my universe is within me, so you better step into my world as what I believe is the truth – this arose from not knowing ourselves. There is something about us that we did not comprehend and understand – not listening to ourselves; not knowing ourselves – and this we buried, and what was hidden spawned the universal bullshit that I am the truth, the light and the way, where every runt out there believes what they are is the truth, so you are wrong, and thus someone I dislike and disagree with.


Believe you me, help came our way over the ages, and those that came were the truth, the light and the way, and there was something about us they had to tell us about so that we may know ourselves, but we would not listen as we were too busy destroying ourselves having fun, because as long as fun is there, I must be okay.

What was this message that was the universal framework of who and what we are; this message that we so conveniently chose to ignore as our fun overrid the truth of this message?


I feel my body forms break apart to reveal this large presence that primarily makes us up as it almost fills our entire form. What this presence is, is our framework that defines us the children of the Infinite, because look beyond the illusion to what is real, which is the fields of Infinite Love, and understand that by being in the proximity of this space we are all Gods; the Infinites children. Zoom out beyond the illusion to know what you are a part of, regardless of this pissy little Game we are played in.


The message we heard but ignored and thus hid and covered up, which separated ourselves from the real us as well as the Infinite (Here I feel the lower part of my left leg and foot is absent, where what should be there is merely a stump. We are disconnected from the All, where we cannot step into this place where we belong, and this is so because we would not listen as we were too busy having fun chasing our pleasures. The absence of what should be in my lower left leg and foot is the message we never listened to. As this presence of what should be there awakens, then so too will the message. After a few minutes the lower leg and foot is complete, and from the foot this our energy/presence extends into the Infinite, where our presence anchors itself in this All. Now we are in the message, where the message is one with who and what we are. That large portion of who we are has awakened, so let’s listen to this that we chose to forget, so that we may know ourselves. And it is here, for the first time in the journal that I call on all seekers of the Truth to unite with me to know what this is. Up till now I had to walk it alone, because the Truth had to be my Truth because I knew I would not bullshit myself, so I drove to the core to see what is real and wrong with this place. What was wrong, was Evil was let loose at the expense of the Innocent, where what gave others pleasure drove the victims into a chasm they could not escape from, because the unthinkable just happened to them, to which  there is no reasonable explanation as to why would you be so cruel. “It was to feed my God of Darkness.” Okay, but why at my expense? What gives you that right to destroy me? I most certainly did not consent to your actions over me.)


Look at the illusion and yourself, and then look away, and from there look once more at the illusion to see what is real. What you now see is the Truth – not your truth or mine, but simply what is. (Here I feel the core of what we are move away with intent towards a place where it may naturally be. Where it moves to is the Source of the All, and over this presence it hovers to see the wonder from which it arose. Oh wow, how could we forsake this over the cheap thrill of the highs within the illusion? The answer is because the highs brought us joy, and the peace and knowing ourselves we gave up for these cheap and fleeting thrills of the high.

This that is Consciousness enters the Source from where it was born to know and be itself.)


What the message is, is merely be, because everything that you are is all that you need. Do not seek, merely be. Be whatever you want – be a singer or a street sweeper, but above all of that, be what you are – this core that is you, which is Me, which is everything.


To this we would not listen. The singer was wowed by the high of the applause, and this gave them joy, and from joy came peace. The street sweeper made a wrong right, where what was there, was now no more, and this gave them joy, which gave them peace.

Through joy we found peace, not understanding that from peace comes joy, and not from joy comes peace.

So be at peace by knowing this is you – this Infinite within you that is your Home and thus defines you. From this peace you sing for all to hear the Infinite that you are, and this gives you joy, expressing what you are. This is called play, and this is why we were born from the Source of the Infinite – to express this that we are.


We forgot our purpose, which was to play and express what we are, which is peace. From this peace came joy, by seeing the peace; the All that we are.

So just be, and from this peace will come joy.

19th April, 2024



Link to comment
Share on other sites

What joy done, was create the “I,” where “I am happy, thus I am at peace,” but what what we never knew was this “I” isolated us from the spirit and Serpent soul within, but primarily from Consciousness. That is why you the body form and the spirit have never received a heads-up of what is waiting for you over the horizon, as in “don’t do this” or “don’t go there.”


I say this, because yesterday after writing about how joy follows peace, what was felt was a collapsed bridge at the level of my right knee. The right side represents the unseen realms for me, and here there was no communication between Consciousness and the spirit, and this had a knock-on effect on the dense body form, where we all scurried around like chickens with their heads chopped off.


This has all changed, and what will be most interesting, is to see what happens next. Through the “I” we were isolated, and this was an easy target to Evil, but now with Consciousness as our foundation of peace, everything has changed, where what was always inverted now stands strong unto itself.


May the Love of the Infinite shine and touch us all, as this natural phenomena Steven has never seen within his existence. I could have closed ranks and focused on the happiness of me and my family and told the world to bugger off, but that is not Love – it is just being self-centered and naïve, because the Devil has no friends, where all, even the most hardcore satanists, will fall to this force that knows only of destruction.

If this journal has not touched and awakened beings of Love within the illusion, where they are in a position to help us, then truly we are all fucked, because what is out there is falling apart at an alarming rate. I would say we have already fallen – we just don’t know it. When the dust settles, we will see the annihilation that Evil swept across our existence, and in that moment we will feel and know of this emptiness that has always been within us. The rulers of this broken, helter-skelter realm will then see what they are, where what is broken in front of them is a represention of what they caused and thus are – a broken state.

No power in that mates – none at all. I have been to a world where all was annihilated, and there were no devils walking around with their pitch-forks – everything was taken and destroyed by the want of the Parasite within that evil allowed to consume all, which was ultimately themselves as well.


So if I am okay, where I see and experience the Love of the Infinite shining upon me, then I know you and everyone else is okay because the Infinite has penetrated the illusion and made its presence felt. It is not a question of if, but when that day arrives, because that is natural, and Evil is not.


What bothers and rattles me on a daily basis is the acceptance of those around me to their behaviour and what the illusion has to offer, because what they have and do only insanity can understand. This bothers me – being around those that are not my own, because I am not insane.

Realistically, I understand that I am holding onto my sanity by a thread, because where I am and what I am doing is not where I should be. This was the price to pay for stepping out of my world to help all in the illusion, where I had to make do with not being able to provide for me and my family, which meant I became surrounded by the scum of the earth. That is one perk in having the power of money, where you decide where you want to stay because you can. That I gave up, and boy-oh-boy do I feel the repercussions of that, where I am hanging onto my sanity only just.


If it was not for my wife being able to support me and this family, this journal would never have been penned, where her support allowed me to knuckle down and understand why Life is so cruel. And believe you me, I pushed for those answers, and it has taken me over ten years on a fulltime basis.

Once again, realistically, I know my limits, where Life did not get the better of me, Time did, where slowly but surely I faded away as there was nothing more left inside of me to give. That is being realistic, so may these fuckers that were floored by the illusion that can help up, may they rise and shine, because it was for them that I wrote. I know your status and mine, where this Game is bigger than all of us, but to those from the Infinite who found themselves trapped and floored in this Hell, they have the might to transform our existence in the moment. For Sophia and Semiramis I wrote, as well as for our Consciousness.


More than anything, my wish is they may rise and shine so that I may lay down my head and sleep.



Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is a concept that is unknown to the capitalist, Western society, and to be fair to this corner of the illusion, this concept is all but unheard of in the seen and unseen illusionary realms as well, and what that concept is, is when you get, you give. This concept is, however, a bit more complex than that.


You have to know what you are, which is Consciousness, which is peace, as you are the All. When you express this that you are, you experience joy, and some might call this having fun from playing with the expression of the Consciousness that you are.

So when you give of yourself in play, you see yourself, and as said, this brings joy to oneself and all those who witness the expression of what the Source of the Infinite is, which is Consciousness.


Ask yourself why were the Dragon spirits created by The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, or why have countless other spirit forms been created by the Creators within the Infinite? It is done so they may know themselves, where when I see you, I see me. From our slumber within the Source of the Infinite we are awoken to play, where a Life-form is created around us that is Consciousness, and in this play we express the joy that arises from the peace/All that we are. In play we see and know ourselves from what we imagine/bring forth from the stillness of the nothing that we are, but this knowing ourselves also comes from witnessing the other Consciousness states and bearing witness what they imagine, where from nothing comes anything and everything. This brings us much joy, and when you get, you give, where now you once again know yourself, and you give by being and expressing what you are.


The man who baptized our two children was a staunch preacher in a well known church group here in South Africa. After a while he saw through the indoctrination, and in his words, he had to re-learn to break down the dogma so that what we read in the Bible had to make sense to him, where value, and not just words were brought forth.

What he says is what he is, and this brings him joy, as well as peace and joy to those who hear his sermons. This man does not just talk from a book, but from the heart, so that those listening to him may go forth and be, where now they too speak from who and what they are.


What Andre gets from expressing his true form, is knowing and being himself, and this he gives to those around him that are willing to listen. In getting to know and be himself, he gives to himself, as well as to others, where others get to know themselves, and this they give to themselves and others, and so the cycle goes where we complete ourselves and others – most notably the Infinite, and this is natural.

So Andre does not so much get to give, nor does he give to get – he merely expresses what he is, and the Consciousness states around him bear witness to this, where they know themselves, and in this knowing they give to themselves by knowing themselves, as well as to those that witness this natural phenomena of who and what they are. From these, they give to the Consciousness of Andre, and he is complete.

Complete physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, etc.


And this concept we have forgotten, where in knowing and being yourself, you get/receive/are reminded of what you are, and in expressing this what you are, you receive joy, where this joy is not only your own, but from the other states of Consciousness around you.

So when you get – when you know yourself – you give of yourself to yourself and to others, and this cycle goes on ad infinitum to all those around you, and if you wish, you stand to one side and witness this kaleidoscope of coloured states as Consciousness plays from the Peace foundation that it is. What this peace is, is a knowing that I am one with the Source of the All, and in this sleep state within the Source I am all that can be and will forever more be. When I awaken from my sleep I play, which means I express this All that I am.


When this “you get to give” process plays out in your existence, then understand the Infinite is shining upon you, and what this means, is you know yourself.

Last night as my body form slept, my spirit and Consciousness went to assist a tribe in some prehistoric corner of the illusion. It is not my place to discuss their dilemma, but the big picture was that in me getting, I give. In me getting to know myself, I give – to myself and others, and this is a natural phenomena of the Infinite.


In the illusion we give to get – a barter system, and even this fell apart a long time ago, where we take as we view it as ours to take and destroy.


When you get, you give, and this makes you complete within you that is Consciousness, as well as to what the Infinite sees itself as. From peace comes joy, where I see you and know you are me. You the Infinite are me.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Take the cat that came with the house as an example. She can sleep anywhere she wants inside or outside the house at night, but she chooses to curl up in the corner of my armpit and sleep there.

What she wants, is what we all want, which is companionship and to be Loved. That is the base foundation of your existence and mine, but there was just one little snag – with the “I” came me, where you are not that important, because me is important to me. That thing hanging between my legs demanded a service on a regular basis, and as funny as that is, it also shows the primitive state of us the beast.

What defines us is sharing and giving, where we live as one, but in this madhouse we had to isolate ourselves from the rest to look after ourselves. Who is going to look after me if I don’t look after myself? And that is a valid question. The simple answer is if you show an interest and care about others, they will naturally reciprocrate and look after you.

The thing is, is Life became overwhelming – bloody difficult – so there was no energy to look after another as you had your Life to lead, which was a challenge. And besides, you are living your Life, and others have their own Life to live, so let them get on with it, where what is important to them is not necessarily important to you, so to each their own.


That is absolute bullshit, and that is why each fucked up individual runs around trying to look after themselves, and they fail miserably in their task. Look at the misery out there, and it is because we lack the foundation of companionship and to be Loved.

Ah Steven, but you are forgetting about family. Family is there for each other.

True, and this is a luxury I never had, where on both sides of the Mississipi there was nothing, where my wifes family as well as mine are too fucked up for worthy of a mention in this journal or in our lives. I see those who have meaningful families, which they cling to like magnets, and there really isn’t time for anyone else, so others are excluded.


Am I feeling sorry for myself? I would say no, but I will also say one is at a serious disadvantage not having a family or extended family around you that Loves you. To be filled with that in your Life is huge, where companionship and to be Loved is met. What we don’t see, is the wave of a stick by Beasts in the unseen and this Brady-bunch family can be ripped apart in the moment. And then we understand that at base level we are all the same – that something bigger than us is missing from our existence. Initially this was our Consciousness, where it was deceived and went a walkies until it go planted in an illusionary trap of learn to evolve. May this punk be sorted now, yet there is one key element that may need attention, and that is, when the “I” and “me” was born, to what did we turn our backs on? In other words, what ties did we sever in our quest to go it solo? What should naturally be there that is not, and what this is, is our connection to the companionship and Love of the Infinite. That is lacking in our exsitence, where when one grows up, one understands there is more to our existence than the service of our vital components, be it what we eat or whatever else.


Just remember, and unfortunately this realization comes to only a few at their final moments, where what is important is to Love and be Loved. That is all what can truly fulfill us, but this has never happened, where we have walked alone in the absence of the Infinite, and this we done to ourselves. So what did we do? How did we stuff up, so that we may return what should naturally be there? So many of us eat to fill this bottomless pit within us, where this emptiness is there but we don’t know why it is there. So many look to others to fill this void, where I love you, and now I am complete. Wrong! You are complete when you and the Infinite are once again one. That puppy-dog romance is but fleeting, where it is as false and superficial as what we are.


What we severed when the “I” was born, where “I” have to learn to become better than what I am to be closer to my true self and God – all the while emitting energy of sorrow and disillusionment to feed the Beasts within the Reptilian frequency of the illusion – what I turned my back on to focus on the task at hand was my true Home of where we belong, and this we done because now I am grown up and need to look after myself. Sure, the Infinite is there, but this is about me – lessons I have to learn, so now I knuckle down to figure this out.


And Life was born, where round and round we go, going nowhere, and the reason for this is we went from Home to the “I” to the “me” to having fun/joy and let’s forget survival and just break things and call our inevitable destruction “fun.”

Can you imagine what those in the Infinite must think of us!

The other day in the gym they showed a walking-marathon on the television. It was the stupidest thing I have ever seen in my life – this walk gait before it gets into a run. When I saw these groups of walkers bundled together, immediately that represented our existence to me, where we waddle over here to there in a frenzy to get this and that done. When that is done, quickly waddle over there. How stupid we must look to an intelligent civilization out there, where there is always time for us to hate one another. “I don’t like you – a real fuck-nut you are.”

How primitive and debased we are from what is important, which is to Love and be Loved, and this is so because through our naviety we severed our chord with Home. And for this reason the Infinite has never intervened to bail us out, where our free will is allowed to flow. How can I change you and help you when it is your choice to be where you are? And when I talk to you, you don’t listen, because in your mind you have it all figured out. Remember: This is my Life. I might not have my hands on the wheel, but I will figure it out and get there.


What should naturally be there in the existence of Consciousness and all the Life-forms created around Consciousness is this connection to the All, but the opposite happened where we became connected to ourselves.

What I feel at our throat area is a break in our forms/bodies, where we unplug from ourselves and the programmes within.

The more the answers could not be found, the harder and closer we looked, not seeing the big picture, that all we are looking into is a repeat of ourselves, where there is nothing to learn, where all you have to do is connect to Home and be what you are, which is Love. This Love is not group hugs and having flowers in your hair – it is a representation of the Source of the Infinite. It is everything, and it is sure as hell bigger than you and me and our little wants, be it a cheese-burger and chips, or just to hate you because this is who I am.


In pulling apart this tightly knit fabric of us trying to make sense of it all, all the while those in the Reptilian frequency of the illusion had a good laugh, where here in the illusion there is nothing to learn – just embrace this “I” mentality and make it your own by doing what you want when you want. And this I have seen just about every night over the last ten years, where we the slave species have been sex and food sources for the cruel. And let’s not forget the sorrow we experience when these Beasts throw us and our loved ones a wobbly. A sudden cancer; a freak car accident; losing one you love to a cult. Wow, what a place we found ourselves in.

Lately when I walk around during the day I feel the presence of this place we live in, and what I feel is fear, where this fear makes me feel dense, where I battle to move freely, and I have no patience because I am so limited by this Darkness everywhere that we have come to view as the norm.

The more you understand, the more you see and feel, and this scares you, because now you know you are in a place where you don’t belong. And then, more than anything, you have to find a way out, because what awaits you has already come and gone to trillions before you, which is being forever lost within the confines of the illusion – this awful, cruel place that runs on shallowness and hatred.


Has the Infinite touched us? Has it made its presence felt? You bet it has, but we feel and know nothing of this as we severed this link to Home and the real us, where in being Home we are complete.

So I touch you, but you not being connected to me know nothing of me.


What happened when Consciousness and all the Life-forms that were created around Consciousness turned their backs on the Infinite to go it solo? The simple answer is we closed our heart field, where I feel at my chest area the wheel of a vault door spin in a circle to lock its door. We the dummy shut off the Infinite deep within our heart field so that we have no distractions as we figure out I don’t know what. What were we actually looking for? What answer had to be found? That answer is irrelevant, as long as we looked within an illusion – something that is not real, so that we may release our attention/energy to feed the System.


What were you looking for you stupid fuck? Can we answer that question? Do we know?

Take a breather from your chores, and you will say you are looking for peace, where from the joys of getting to know yourself, you discover yourself, and in that peace is found. I know me – I am not this or that – this is me, because this brings me joy, and now I am at peace. Now I am.


Super. Just look around and see where you are, this “I am.” Look at the plight of others, and not just you, this “I am.” You are a stupid fucking idiot, you this “I am,” and so am I, because I am in your proximity, where by seeing you, I see myself – two stupid fucking idiots. (Apologies for the swear words, but it is what it is.)   


Open that vault door which we closed on the Infinite. There is no “me” or “I,” there is only the Infinite, and this is us which is Home. Free will allowed us to close the door to the Infinite, and only your free will can open it.


What fools we are.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, steven geldenhuys said:


There is no “me” or “I,” there is only the Infinite, and this is us which is Home. Free will allowed us to close the door to the Infinite, and only your free will can open it.



There is no “me” or “I,” there is only the Infinite, and this is us which is Home. Free will allowed us to close the door to the Infinite, and only your free will can open it.


Free will means detaching oneself from immature and unrealistic expectations. And not to fall into every trap that the simulation has in store for everyone. What is observable is that this simulation reveals the worst in humans. This is a test where everyone has to prove for themselves whether they want to progress or continue playing human.

And if there is nothing here that can help someone to evolve, the answer must be hidden within oneself. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...