Jump to content

Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

Recommended Posts

When I checked in on someone yesterday I felt something I have not felt before, where it felt like within them was a cylinder, and in that cylinder was another cylinder which was shearing away from the outer one. In the big picture what that is symbolic of is Consciousness shearing away from the illusion, and thus all that is has known of for such a long time.

How do I know that to be true, where maybe I am just making my own assumption as to what I feel in others?


Last night as I slept there was much activity around me, and when I fell into a deeper sleep I saw the main players in the field around me. I can’t remember what they looked like, but two things were distinct: The first was they wore all white clothes, and the second was they tried their best to pull the frequencies out of my head – as in what has come to be understood. There were about three of them dressed in their white suits, and they half lay against me as they frantically pulled what looked like ledgers out of my head, but as hard as they pulled, what was taken just returned to where it was.


So that tells me that there is panic mode from those deep within the shadows of the unseen.

The all-white uniform was startling to see, because normally we associate evil with a black dress code, but this is for those palookas who play their little covert games here in the illusion. Those at the top – predominantly the architects of the illusion – are dressed in white, as this is the opposite to what the Infinite is, which is a sense of Blackness, which is more a representation and expression of infinity.


There is a panic mode in the control room of the illusion as the Infinite has made its presence known, and with this presence comes a shift in all of us, where we break away from the program that is the illusion. The complete shear away from the illusion is not yet complete,  but when it is, it will be most interesting to see what changes in your existence and mine. My guess is that Consciousness will be free of the illusion, and thus in charge of the spirit and dense body form, where now the illusion and its programs will no longer control us, but rather Consciousness will. And with that there is really no compromise, as that is how things should be, where we that is Consciousness control the destiny of the spirit and body form, compared to the limitations of the programmed illusion.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

What begins to dismantle as the illusion falls apart is the tape recorder of the mind. Always there is a thought, and just about every single thought is an analytical one, where we follow our God of intellect and reason, where two and two has to equal four – where everything has to make sense; where for as long as it takes, an answer will be met so that Life makes sense. What we did not put into that equation is the blows Life unleashes onto us. “Didn’t see that one coming; took me by surprise!” Okay, that’s fine, so what are you going to do about it? “Bite the bullet; take it like a Man; cowboys don’t cry, so I must become tough to deal with these unexpected blows.”

What you never knew was the blows of Life were from those who played you from the shadows, where you are in their Game and thus at their mercy. Keeping your side clean was more for your self-respect and integrity, but in the big picture you being kind never excluded you from being played in a cruel Game.


What excludes you is you losing your intellect and reason. Ask yourself why you had to find an answer to every problem that came your way? Why is there a problem? Are we not meant to be free of strife?

We live in the head and reason because we stopped living in the heart. I like eating a cheeseburger and chips and looking at a sexy arse because that fills me with self-gratification, where the senses of my mind are uplifted which is vital to counter the harshness of survival. We like, as this makes us happy, and happiness is what Life is about.


Scratch a few millimeters under the surface and you will understand that we live in the head because we stopped living in the heart. From the heart I care about you rather than see what cup size bra you wear. From the heart I stand united with you as you are me and I am you, where such undying, unquestionable kinship is as natural as breathing, where now the flow of Life courses through my veins because it arose from the source which is my heart field.

This we forgot – this reason why we began to live through intellect and reason. We loved the thrill of doing what we want when we want because we can, but we never read the fine print which said now you are mine because now you play in my Game. The price to pay for our freedom from our conscience was I do with you what I want, and unfortunately for you that is not pleasant experiences.


For too long there has been a ship without a captain, which exacerbated our “do what you want, just don’t get caught out” attitude. In the mind this freedom was lived out the most, where truly we never knew another, no matter how strongly we felt we knew them, and this was so because in their mind the devil was let loose with no inhibitions. What played out, that the innocent saw and witnessed, which came from the origin of our mind, whose primary source was intellect and reason, where if it makes sense to me so that it may gratify me, then let’s do it – as in I will do it for me at your expense.

That sickness came to fester within us and furthermore separate us from the heart and our Consciousness, where the bad became really bad, and the good lost a backbone to stand up against the bad. Truly, the illusion became a playground for the warped and inhumane, where as long as my pleasures are met I am okay. That these pleasures are at your expense and I make a fool of myself in attaining them is okay, because everything I do is hidden behind my best foot that is forward, where what you see is not what you get. Fooled ya!


And that was the problem of the ship having no captain, where we were never accountable for our actions, where if anything, our disgusting behaviour was reinforced by us getting ahead in Life, where in survival of the fittest the bully and Beast come out on top. Wow, what role models we had. Wish we had those pair of tits or could pout our lips like she does. If only I could be accepted in the in-crowd so I could not feel like such a loser.

With Beastiality comes superficiality, where I do my best to look and come across as cool, where I am in control of my life and everything is perfect. Who’s fooling who? The answer is the mind is fooling the mind, and there is no way out of that because the mind soon became under the control of those from the shadows. Now we are mixed up as well as lost, where we wander in the darkness as Beasts do with us as they want, but this cannot be – this nightmare cannot be real, and that is why we closed our Third Eye to forget the humiliation of what was bestowed upon us by the monsters that we are soon to become. There is  no way out of the mind once you are caught therein, where the only solution is to remove this tape recorder from your presence. With street-wise effort this can be done, where we are aware of what should not be and thus give it no attention, but the true solution is returning the captain to the ship.


Around your Life and mine we revolve around Consciousness, where this is the essence of who and what we are. Through deceit this God within was played in a cruel Game, and this deceit made us lose our captain. With this captain now sitting behind the wheel and cognitive to the Game we can go with the flow of what should naturally be, and how this is done, is Consciousness awakens our heart field and shuts off the mind. What happens is it becomes more and more difficult to complain and reason about the Life around you. In the heart field is everything; in the mind is reasoning to a problem that arose from the mind, so the problem is truly never solved because its source is always there, which is the mind. From the mind you emit energy, and with your energy Beasts play with you as now you are on their intellectual wavelength, and what that intellect is, is survive. Do whatever you can to survive, and if it works, good for you, because you survived.


Survived where? In a shit-hole ruled by Beasts, where sooner or later you will get your day because we don’t remain fit forever, where intellect is a candy-coated “I need to feel better now” fix. And what this feeling better involves is I am always right. I am right, and this justifies my place in the illusion where I can do what I want because I am right. As for you – fuck off.


Sooner or later in this mad world someone has to take charge, where the days of the soft-cock and the spineless can no longer be, where someone has to hold the reins of the horse so that we can stop hurting ourselves. So what is done, is Consciousness from its source within us the spirit and body form shuts out the mind, where we stop thinking and start knowing. I am a fool, so I stop doing that because what I done didn’t uplift those around me including myself. Now I live in the heart which means I care for myself and thus only want the best for myself. I don’t want that hamburger patty made with fillet steak, rather I choose to be uplifted where I belong, where there is true peace and contentment and not one that fades as soon as my hamburger is finished being eaten.

Consciousness takes charge, because a long time ago we let ourselves go and have never regained our composure and our peace within. This peace starts with Consciousness shutting out our minds from our existence to allow the natural heart field to be once again known. There is no other way. Radical times call for sane solutions in an insane world.


I say all of this because Consciousness is free of the illusion. What it does with this freedom is restore what was to what it should be, where we go back to living from the heart. We learn to once again care about ourselves and others, and how this learning takes place is by us being where we belong, which is in the heart field rather than the head/mind.

This is done now.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

From the head/mind/thoughts we release energy that feeds the System of the illusion. From the heart we hold onto our energy to feed the spirit and dense body form, where this “feeding” from the presence of Consciousness allows us to rise up above ourselves and all we have come to know.


About four hours after shifting from the head to the heart I felt a change within the right side of my neck to correct the genetic predisposition of my neck vertebrae.

Went to bed last night and was completely out of it. Am not well. Woke up sometime during the night and saw this species standing over me. She had a female presence to her, and her outfit was from another world, as was she. She brought this what looked like a slug with her that was about 30 by 30 centimeters. I saw it, and then felt it go behind me. Something told me it was going to enter my body, and then I felt it enter the back of my pelvic region. As it remained there I felt my spirit rise about a meter from the bed.

These beings were good, although at the time when they were there I was unsure of this.


From there I was taken back to the house we moved from about a year and a half ago. I kept on walking into the house, only to see the furniture of the new residents there, which made me feel awkward as I was in a place where I don’t belong. For a long time during my sleep state I found myself hanging around my old residence.

What that was all about I don’t know. If I had to guess, those that were around me from a different world looked into my core to see what was bothering me. The answer was obvious – that I never had a place to call Home. And they were right, as this bothers me the most – in the seen and the unseen. If I had to define what Home is, I would say being around your own, but more specifically, walking with God, where you are never alone and always looked after. Maybe deep down I am a mommy’s boy, where I like to have those around me who Love me as I Love them. Or maybe it’s just nice to share your Love with another, where you are a part of the All and it is one with you.


Why was that slug in my energy field last night? I have no doubt it was there to help. You see, I can only help you if you are prepared to help yourself, and I am sure others in the illusion feel the same. How you help yourself is by elevating your energy, where you rise above what you were. How this is done is by holding onto your energy, and this is done by knowing yourself – as in where you are and where you should be, and at the same time remembering that you know nothing. Equally important, know what you are. You are Consciousness, and this is the God that you the spirit and body form walk with.


I don’t want to go beyond the ten year mark to find the answer to a question. Will I go beyond Saturday if I have to? I most probably will, but if there is a part of me that respects me, that part will say no, and if this journal is not complete, pass the baton to someone else. Someone else can build on the foundation I have laid. I would like to walk away because I am tired and have had enough.

How simple it is – to walk with you being what you naturally are, and yet this simplicity was taken away from us and the breadcrumbs they threw at our feet we welcomed and were forever thankful for. If anything, I will never stop writing until the innocent are free from cruelty. I can never rest until they are free. Just as the innocent need help, so do you and I, because we cannot do this alone. What came last night as I slept was testament to us being there for each other, where those in the worlds of the illusion are pulling together to help one another. This feat can only be possible when we hold onto our energy to rise above where we were.


Am I still thinking thoughts? Yes I am, but that energy is not being released into the System. What I think is there is so much more than you and I; there is so much Beauty to behold. Life as we know it is too tough. If the architects of the illusion were clever they would have been kinder rather than crueler towards us, but I suppose one cannot stop a mistake – as in what should not be – from falling apart.


Rise above yourself by living in the heart rather than the head, where your energy uplifts you, and in doing so you can uplift others. There is nothing special about that – it is normal and natural; it is a given.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

The implanted dream last night as I slept was of me preparing for a French language test. I did not learn for the test properly, so I said the lines I had to know for the test over and over, but I was confused and did not know what French words to use in the sentences, so I said the lines over and over but they were the wrong words.


I knew it was an implanted dream. I knew I had no French test I had to write, but there I was, not being able to stop this small but mighty cog within my program from turning over and over taking me over.

I woke up from the implanted dream to see two of them standing over me. The one was one level above from a caveman – a huge man with his exposed rounded shoulders. He took handfuls of my energy and ate it. The other one I could not make out.


We need to eat – you and I and those in the Reptilian frequency of the illusion who have sussed the Game and know their place. That is what the Game is all about – eating. As long as we are not where we belong we need to eat. That is the jewel in the crown – eat or die. Kill to eat or die. Those rivers of blood from those slaughtered animals are for us to survive. Did anybody ever stop to think that something is wrong, that I have to kill you my friends the animals so that I can eat you to survive.

There is a day in China where they specifically eat dogs, but that is not enough, where they torture the dogs before they kill them to release the endorphins so that the meat tastes better. That’s unbelievably sad.

How many lifetimes before you and I as spirits stand over someone as they sleep to feed from their energy so that we may survive? It’s a shit predicament – this having to eat. We are eating an illusion to feed an illusionary figure, and I would say eating arose from our wants, where it was primarily there to feed the frenzy of the want frequency within us. You could liken that to a drug addict needing their fix NOW, where in chasing a want this want takes you over and controls you.


I am not saying that I am going to stop eating tomorrow, but what I will say is this mechanism of having to eat has to come to an end. Surely that is when the Game is over, when we are free from our survival mode, which is having to eat.

Go into the stillness of the silence to get to the bottom of this having to eat and drink mode so that it may be understood and from there be no more.


Activity is felt around the soles of the feet. It is a mild sensation of movement there, and then the left foot moves away from where it was planted against. The movement that was initially felt was the breaking away from where we stood. The right foot follow suit, where energetically where we stood we no longer stand. Now we drift – we are away from where we were, and it is an awful sensation – a lost sensation; an insecure one; almost like an astronaut drifting into space knowing they have just left the confines of their home and will never return.

An intensity is felt within the brain area, almost like a freezing from “I don’t know what to do.” From the brain a line is drawn to the gut area, where this line moves to and fro in the abdomen. This line is our reason and logic, where it looks for an answer to our predicament, where it moves within us looking for a solution to us no longer being where we were.

And that is when we changed – when we that were, adapted to our new environment. From the frozen mind of fear the predator was born within us, and I say this because within my brain I feel this Snake being born, and this was the solution to our problem: Feed this Beast within and we will be okay, as in looked after so that we can survive. This Snake I feel within is not the Serpent soul. Years back when I wrote in the journal of the Serpent soul/kundalini, I always spelled it Seprent soul, and I couldn’t understand why. Now I know – there is another Snake within us, one whom we love dearly, but one that needs to be fed. When I saw those two Snakes arise from the chest of that man in the ayahausca ceremony I could never understand why two Snakes. Now I do – there are two within us who love us and we them: The one is the Serpent soul that was cloned from the Serpent spirit, and this soul was our precious cargo that Semiramis bestowed upon our spirit to look after a long time ago; and the other was one born from our fear of not being where we belong. So when you eat, you eat to appease this one that looks after you, this Seprent soul, and that I never knew.


Two questions need to be asked. The first is what made our feet shear away from the place we were grounded into, where we came to float in the illusion with no grounding but the Snake within to help us?

What was the cause of us leaving this place where we did not have to eat? Go back to the time before this shearing away – the time just before it happened – and a line is felt in my head that was severed and now drifts within us. This line tries to attach itself to where it was severed but this cannot happen. Now this line rotates round and round within my left eye, where it falls within the illusion, and eventually this rotation stops, and in this denser frequency from where this line fell a new start/existence may be met.

Now I feel the shearing at my feet, where in this strange place we lost contact with from where we were before this fall, and here the Seprent within us was born.


Okay, so what cut that line to make us fall, and what is that line?

And this is something to do with Consciousness, where from the throat this swirling sensation is felt, where it goes back from where it fell to answer the question.

That line that was felt earlier is felt now as a Beautiful soft, cool presence. It is still a line and it just touches the inner part of my left eye as it extends beyond that to the everywhere. From this everywhere it makes a loop back to come into my left eye, and no doubt your Consciousness and mine is now in the illusionary Garden of Semiramis to see what is there that is not already within the everywhere/Infinite. And in the Garden I feel Consciousness moving about and exploring, and then it leaves the left eye; the illusion, but I feel it trapped within the skull region, where Consciousness cannot fully return to the Infinite, so as much as Consciousness is free from the Garden, something within Consciousness is restless, where there is a pull within it to return to the illusionary Garden.


And that is dangerous, where Consciousness is no longer what it was before it entered the Garden. When it entered the Garden something within Consciousness changed, because when it left the illusion there was this unease within it, and as said, that is dangerous because that is not the natural state of Consciousness.

What pulled Consciousness away from the Infinite to return to the illusion?

In a vertical position, I feel the sway of Consciousness within the illusion, where this line moves gently to and fro within the illusionary Garden. Then this sway stops, and I see Consciousness look out into the Infinite, as one would stand at the window of a spacecraft and look out into the wonder that is space. And at that point Consciousness turns around, away from the Infinite, to pursue a Life within the illusion. And that is remarkable, because what could this illusion offer that is not already within the Infinite? Why turn your back on Home – this place that Loves you and defines you?


I feel the Infinite fall away, as this is no longer where Consciousness chooses to be, and with this falling away from the Infinite the line is broken, where Consciousness is no longer what it was because its ties to Home is no longer there. And so it fell, and the Seprent within was born which we had to care for, which meant feeding it.


What, for the Love of God, made Consciousness turn its back on its Home? Why? Why? Why?


We go back to that state where Consciousness was swaying to and fro within the illusion, where there it contemplated? What was it lulling over? And this is the billion dollar question – why leave Home?

From the left eye, the line goes beyond the eye/illusion and it touches the Infinite. From the left eye I felt the line drop down through the eye into the Infinite, and then it made one giant circular loop at it moved within the Infinite, only to return to its position within the illusion.

Now the line extends horizontally within the illusion, and it gently sways downwards once again into the Infinite, and this I feel is one last Loving touch that it gave to its beloved Home. From there Consciousness returns to its vertical position, and more and more I feel that this vertical slit is the presence of what we would come to know as the Reptilian eye.

Consciousness becomes the illusion, and as a spacecraft, I feel Consciousness move the left eye/illusion to a place further away from the Infinite, where the intent of Consciousness to totally separate itself from Home is now complete. And that I find remarkable in the most sorrowful of ways, because why would you do that to yourself and those at Home who Love you?


Now I feel the illusionary bubble fall away, and the presence that was within it leave this broken bubble. What was the illusion – the Beautiful Garden – is no more. I feel and see this empty space drift off into nothingness. Now this presence that was within the illusion is free of the illusionary Garden as well as the Infinite, and oh my goodness, how it travels far off from all that it once knew. In a far off distance it settles, and now I feel somewhere deep within my left eye a new presence forming, and this is wow, because as strong as I feel this presence within the left eye, also do I feel a presence – a thin, fine presence within the inner top of my skull. I say “wow” because when Consciousness initially entered the illusion and left, there was a pull, where Consciousness moved around the top part of my skull, where it hanged around there and could not fully depart the presence of the illusion.


Now you know what that means.


When Consciousness entered the illusion it saw the Infinite from a different perspective, and this made it analytical of the Infinite. What was this place that I call Home? What am I that dwells in that place?

And that is the billion dollar question answered. What the illusion done to your Consciousness and mine was see the Infinite from a different perspective, as in from a different viewpoint, where we saw Home as an outsider, and more than anything, we had to understand this Home so that we may know ourselves.


That’s it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That is why we left Home. We left to find a place of our own, where from there we may know this that we are. That was the true curiosity – not of what the illusionary Garden is, but rather “what is our Home, and what are we?”

We never fell – we moved out of our own accord to where we wanted to be, where from this vantage point we may know ourselves.


And here in our new home we mulled with the everlasting question of what we are. Why we never went into the Source of the Infinite to know that question can be explained from seeing the Infinite from a whole new light, which was within the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis.


From the bottom of the left eye I feel Consciousness drop into the space around it, where now it looks without its new home. It is lost, and a panic state fills it. Now the line that is Consciousness moves in all directions from out of its space, where from the top and sides of the eye this line extends to try and make sense of where it is.

Now, instead of using its logic and reason to know itself and its Home the Infinite, now Consciousness uses its logic to make a new home in this place that is so far from all it ever knew, but always it searches for this Home from where it left – always I feel this line leaving the eye to seek the familiar of the Home it once knew.

Why did it never find its Home? – Because it looked without the eye that came to be its new home, rather than looking within to what it was and is.


And that is the story of why you and I left Home and have never been able to return Home since.

I said two questions needed to be answered, the second being what was this place where we sheared away from? Now that answer is obvious – it was the fields of Infinite Love.


What a sad story! What an absolute disaster! Why not just ask the Infinite what it is and what we are?

To be was something we had to understand. What are we? And yet how can you pull apart Love and analyze it? Love is just Love. It merely is, and this we never knew.


Well now we do. So break up your home and merely be, because the home you built is not where you belong. Go within and merely be, and in that moment that Love you and the Infinite are will take you over. Stop thinking and analyzing, because that is not who you are and from where you arose. Just be, and this Love that you are will take you over.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

The illusion that you and I are in is the one our Consciousness created to analyze and understand the Infinite and who we are. We turfed the heart field of our Consciousness that defines us to make way for logic and reason. We that are God now became thinkers, not knowing that there is nothing to think about. Rather be, but to be one needs the heart field from where to express this that we are.

This illusion that we created was overseen by the collective of our Consciousness, and this we the spirit and body form called God.


What we never knew is we became the complete opposite of what we were, where now we lived from the head and not the heart. In this state, in our world that we created, we fell to a dense plane, and I would say we have been falling ever since. At that initial fall of our Consciousness on this frequency where we built our home, our fall was felt and heard by The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and Queen Semiramis. They fell to be with us, as any loving parent would, but we would not listen to them, as we fell from living in the head, which further deepened our demise in the head region, where now even more so we had to find a solution to our dire predicament.

We would not listen to those that knew better than us, and besides, there was an element of fun in this place. The point to make, is the deeper we sank, the deeper we pulled Sophia and Semiramis with us, where the presence of where they were was enough to deep them down, where they could not put up a fight to what was brewing around them. Their only hope was that we one day return to the heart field, and I truly believe that this was only possible by Consciousness understanding how it ended up in this strange place.

Now it does, meaning the heart field is restored in its entirety, and that changes everything. Now Consciousness sees the Infinite, and it understands that this is all it is and can ever be, and in that moment it is Home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You the spirit and body form, as well as Consciousness, you all let go so that the Sun/Consciousness may be drawn to the Home where it belongs. As it shifts orbit, so do you the spirit and body form, where you become less dense, where what you knew and were begins to fall away.

Let go the Serpent and Seprent soul – for too long they have been in a place where they don’t belong. Set them free by you being free of the home you created so that all may return to where they belong.


As I sit here writing these words an exhaustion fills me, where I have to go and lie down as I cannot keep my head upright. Why is this so? Why am I so tired? I don’t know – all I know is I have to lie down and close my eyes to rest.

5th February, 2024


What we forgot was that we were never alone, and by “we” reference is made to the spirit and body form. Oh yes, we were alone, but that never meant there was not something bigger than us waiting to once again be reunited with us.


Now when I sleep I see no Disharmony around me, where there is an element of peace that begins to touch us, and this is that something bigger than us, which I will call Consciousness in its awakened state. In the unseen realms we are being touched by the presence of the Infinite, and as we speak this presence makes itself more and more known. On the seen realms this what is has not touched us yet, where we can say “wow, what’s that” or “what has touched me has transformed my existence forever more,” but when that happens – when what is in the unseen moves into the seen – then we will understand that we walk to what should be.

What do I expect this transformation to be? I haven’t got a clue, but if I had to guess, it will be personal as well as collective, where the change will touch you directly, as well as the collective, where the group/species will change.

This is where I don’t have the capacity to see the big picture, where what is happening to those that like to play it dirty? Whatever happens, what is for certain is there is an energetic upliftment, where we rise to where we can start walking, because up till now we have all been floored. If you always wanted peace then it will suddenly be yours, where this natural phenomena presents itself to you, and if you always enjoyed doing what you want because you can, at the expense of others, then you have to awake to the real you, and this process depends on you, as in how badly you wish to be the Love that you are.

It’s all personal, and what happens on the collective will spur you on to make up your mind rather quickly as to where you wish to be. This collective will be primarily on the unseen, where the shift from what was to what is currently happening and will happen will touch all in the spirit realm, where what was has been broken apart so what should be comes to the fore. This breaking down in the unseen has already happened, where it was felt the other day. And as said, how this will touch us in the seen realms is anyone’s guess.


Don’t be afraid of change, because nothing is changing – you merely return to what was always there that you forgot about.

6th February, 2024

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When those in the Infinite saw the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis they wondered what is in that place that is not already within the fields of Infinite Love. Their curiosity took on a frequency form within the illusion, and this frequency created a want within all in the illusion, where the Parasite was born that took most of us over and came to define who and what we are.


This we know. What we don’t know, is when Consciousness looked from the illusion into the fields of Infinite Love – its Home – what state did this create within Consciousness? When Consciousness saw its Home from an outsider looking in, it came to question this place and what it is. “What am I? What is this Home of mine? This I need to understand so that I may know myself.”


What is a question? – It is a state that needs an answer. And the more we break this state down, where we can simplify a question by saying that its opposite is an answer. But before we find the answer, it is safe to say the question remains a problem until it is solved, where the answer is met.


So Consciousness turned its back on Home to get to know itself and its Home. It moved away from Home, and eventually broke away from the illusionary Garden to create a home where through logic and reason it may know itself.

This was a bad idea, where before the expedition even started it failed, because without the heart field that Consciousness abandoned to make way for reason, there was no way Consciousness would ever know itself because the heart field defined what we are, which is unconditional, innocent, pure Love.

So in no time things fell apart, especially through the head that embraced the want frequency of the Parasite. Now there was no time to sit and ponder and think who we are and what is our Home. Now we had to reason our way out of survival, and this we have been doing ever since.


Besides the Parasite, there was another that guaranteed our demise, and this was the state that Consciousness brought with it from looking at the Infinite from the viewpoint of the illusion.

“What am I? What is my Home?” There was a problem; an uncertainty that Consciousness had to figure out, where something brewed within Consciousness, and what this was, was “I have to understand.”

This need to know soon became a thing of the past for Consciousness as reality set in of being lost in a place where it doesn’t belong, where sanity was soon overtaken by madness and callousness, but please understand that this state always remained within Consciousness. I call this state the Glitch within Consciousness, where when a question remains unanswered, there is always a loose end that never gets tied up, and what that means to you and me, is always there is a “ah no,” as in a aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Not again! Why now?!


Always something goes wrong. There is always something, where peace is never a constant. That’s the Glitch within Consciousness which arose from the question within it that was never answered, so where an answer should be is one that can be seen as a virus, where simply put – it puts a spanner in the works; it fucks up a perfect moment – always.


That Glitch has to be removed from Consciousness, or the question we have to ask, is has the Glitch being removed from Consciousness through it understanding it is all there can be and will be forever more as Love is infinite and everlasting and is the all as it arose from the Source of the Infinite.

Where was the Glitch within Consciousness, where we use the body form as a representation of Consciousness.

Within my right eye I feel a circular motion which extends from the right eye to encapsulate the brain. The Glitch takes over logic and reason – which is represented by the brain. Now within logic and reason nothing made sense, because always a problem arose, and the source of this was the Glitch frequency within Consciousness, and that is why we have been going round and round chasing our tails going nowhere except in a downward spiral.


Is the Glitch still there within Consciousness? In other words, was this understanding necessary to know, or was it enough that Consciousness know itself and what Home is?

This understanding was not necessary, as the Glitch is unraveling through Consciousness knowing what it is, where it belongs, and what Home is. What is Home? – It is a peace of knowing you are where you belong, and in that awareness we see this that we are that we have forgotten, which is the Beauty of Home within us, which is sheer bliss.

6th February, 2024

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Never have I been one to sit and wait and hope because therein lies the trap of waiting your life away while nothing gets done. I am true to myself because deep down I know myself, yet what I am I haven’t quite attained yet, and this bothers me. You cannot hold what should naturally be down forever, and why I say this is because what you are doing is an unnatural action that requires effort, so as fool proof as your System may be, one crack in the wall and everything falls apart. That is how flimsy the prison cell is, where you rely on the prisoners to do their part and remain good girl and boy scouts. Behave. Know your place.


Always have I focused on the spirit realm – the unseen – because that is where the Game plays out. Everything I wrote was for this realm, because when they are free so are we in the dense seen realm, but this I assume to be, which is a dangerous thing as one can never assume.

Go into the stillness of the silence to look for the Disharmony in the unseen realm that is holding us down, where we cannot naturally rise up and be. All that I feel is this strong band between the heart and the head field, which is natural, so no Disharmony in the unseen as I knew there would not be.

Now go into the seen realm, and see what is holding us down there, and what you feel is the heart field, but there is no band from there to the head as was felt in the spirit realm. Why is this so? Why can the heart space not enter the head to take us over to rewrite our program, where we fall in line with the Infinite rather than with the programmed System? I feel my left leg become no more, which means the link between the seen and unseen is not there, where the two cannot communicate with each other and be as one. Why is this so? As much as I feel the heart space trying to penetrate the head space in the seen frequency this is not possible, and once again we ask why is this so?

The head space moves away from the rest of us, and this tells us that the head is not ours, meaning it is not compatible to the heart space, thus the two cannot meet, where the heart corrects the head and makes it one with itself. So what is needed to make our head space compatible with the heart space?

A cold circular movement is felt within the left eye. The illusion itself is the head space as the illusion was created through logic and reason with the absence of the heart field, so what has been said so far makes sense, where the heart cannot reach the head because the two are literally on different “planets.” So one needs to change the illusion – this head space frequency of logic and reason. Change the illusion to allow the heart to reach the head – these two completely different states/”planets” that should work as one.


From the left eye a line is felt that extends downwards to the heart field. How did this line know where to go to reach the heart? In the big picture I know where the head/illusion is, as well as where the heart/Infinite is, and from there a line is drawn between them to unite them.

And this all comes back to I know what I am. I know what you are, because what I am you are. So what I do for me I do for all as we are all the same – we are Consciousness.

I know what we are, so what is wrong that we are not this state? The answer was that we lived in the head for so long that we could not find ourselves. Sure, the heart field was intact, but this meant nothing if it could not reach the head and transform it so that the two work as one.


Within the unseen the heart flows to the head where there is a unity and oneness.

Within the seen – the dense realms of the illusion – the same is now felt, where this alien/imbalanced form within us may be touched by the might of the heart/Infinite space. This unison between the heart and head in the seen is a process, where the heart touches the head and then backs off, only to touch it again. This bit by bit “getting to know you” happens until the two are a solid oneness as this is all that there is and can be.

7th February, 2024

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What does it mean to say that we are played in a Game? It means our Lives are never ours to own, where our frequency field is controlled by the architects of the illusion.

Let’s say you go to your homeopath for medication to cure you of your disease. What the homeopathic medication is, is frequency fields to uplift your ailing frequency fields within. But I don’t want you to get better, where you stay down so you are no threat to me and the System. So what do I do? Well, that’s easy – I switch off the frequency field of your medication so that no help comes your way and you continue to hold onto Life by a thread.


And this is what we have to understand: Everything within the illusion is a frequency field, so to control the illusion one needs to control the frequencies therein – and that they managed to achieve. This control system of the architects of the illusion and the cosmic geneticists is being broken down as Consciousness comes unto itself, and what is testament to this is me being able to write about it, because if the System still controlled us we would not know of this control system as our frequencies would still be under lock and key.


So just for interests sake, let’s see how they controlled all the frequencies within the seen and unseen.


Always go back to the Sun – this Consciousness around which all Life is created, because when you control the Sun, you control all around it.

Go within Consciousness to see what was there that controlled it, where from there they let loose within the illusion through Consciousness. From the back of my leg, extending partly into my left buttock the presence of a frequency is felt there. I need to take away this frequency in order to understand what effect it had on us.

When it is taken away from the presence of Consciousness as Consciousness initially was before it became awakened, what is felt is a frequency field that hovers above our heads which rises the intellect within us, where we can build on what we know, where two plus two equals four, and from this platform we may come to understand what four plus four equals, where we may rise above ourselves, even with the Glitch within us, where we go back to plain and simple common sense. And what common sense is, is what should not be cannot be, so it is removed from our presence, where always we keep it simple, because the closer you are to the truth the simpler everything becomes.

That is how I heal, where I go into the frequency field of another, and by feeling what should not be, it is removed by understanding it has no place within our existence. Now apply that philosophy to everything that enters your existence, where in no time at all you are free of all disease and Disharmony because only what should be can enter your space, which is the presence of Love. In other words, like attracts like, where Consciousness draws to it what should naturally uplift it so that it may be what it naturally is, and before we know it we are Home where we belong.


That is what I felt in Consciousness with the absence of the implanted frequency within Consciousness that was felt in the left upper leg going into the buttock.

When I return this frequency to further understand its influence upon us, all the frequencies within us are scattered, where there is no unity and what is within us is not talking to each other – no synchronicity and no oneness. So what was implanted within the back of the upper leg was to scatter the state/frequency of Consciousness within the illusion.

Now this chaos had to be turned to order – my order, so it’s my control. How did they do that? I feel the implanted frequency in the left upper leg reach out, as in it connects to something, and this something is within the illusion, because the left eye suddenly awakens to the calling of this frequency. The Parasite within us suddenly becomes awakened into overdrive, where the Parasite comes under the control of the architects of the illusion, where the Parasite then extends down to attach to this implanted frequency antennae within Consciousness.


Now there is a want that controls us, but this want does not make sense, and most importantly, this want is beyond our control. What control Consciousness had was infiltrated by a frequency to scatter our natural order within so that chaos was now within, and this chaos they linked to the Parasite, where through our out of control state a want drove us. For want of a better word, now we were mad because we took what we didn’t need and kept it all too ourselves. Out of our chaos fuelled by the Parasite came the states of greed, lust, envy, vanity, etc. – all the deadly sins.


That is all good and well, but how did the architects and cosmic geneticists of the illusion come to control every frequency within the illusion, because now what was within us was a deadly cocktail that will result in our self-annihilation before we could even say “Bob’s our uncle.” We had to be controlled, where from our madness order may be kept.

What I feel is my whole body being pushed back a few feet, as if I am made to stand back onto a podium that is a few feet behind me. The presence of the Parasite at the corner of the left side of the mouth once again comes alive, and its frequency is pulled away from us like a fish being caught on a hook and pulled out of the water by the string on the fisherman’s rod. What this says to me was the Parasite was exploited in a most horrific way as a means to control us that is Consciousness.

To what did they connect the Parasite that was connected to the implanted frequency that distorted Consciousness? A loose line is felt swaying within the left eye, where this loose end wraps round and round itself in an anti-clockwise direction, and from there it folds over unto itself to settle at a specific location within the left eye, which can be likened to the control hub of the illusion. Now the left eye falls away, like it is pulled away from this control hub. Think of a ding-bat and the ball connected to the ding-bat. The control hub is the ball, and Consciousness is the ding-bat that is connected to the ball via the string.

Now the ball controls the bat and can do with it as they please.


Take what has just been said and apply that to technology that is unknown to you and me, where Consciousness was pulled apart and played with until it came under the control of those that dissected it. And please understand I am talking about all Consciousness within the illusion, from one grain of sand they can isolate in the middle of a desert to someone you love dearly – including yourself.


This whole System has fallen apart by Consciousness knowing who and what it is, where what was that controlled us can now no longer be.

The Game involved the control of Consciousness so that every frequency within the illusion fell under the control of those that manipulated Consciousness, so that they may now play God, where Consciousness is no longer God.

The tables have turned to what should naturally be, where Consciousness rises up to be what it is and where it belongs. So be it.

7th February, 2024



Link to comment
Share on other sites

We made a home for ourselves in this illusion, where we came to define who we are and where we belong. This is me, and this is what is important to me. In the construction material we missed one vital component, which was the heart field, so always were there cracks in our walls, and always the foundations were fragile and weak, causing our home and us to cave in more often than not.


This house that we built – this that is me – has to be broken down because that is not us. Your Consciousness pulls apart what it was to return to what it is, and this is done through an awareness of what I was can no longer be.

This happened to me yesterday, and if you are sensitive like me to the happenings thereof, let me tell you that the experience is an awful one. All those bricks walls you hit and tried to circumnavigate through your existence are felt and seen, where you are aware of the futility of it all, where as hard as you tried, you cannot do what was expected of you, because that is not you.

As a simple example, someone contacted me yesterday to go and treat their horses, and every fibre within my existence said that I cannot do that. I need the money, and the horses need my help, but I cannot step back into the horse community because of who and what they are – not everyone, but most.


How does that make you feel, where you can and must help others but you cannot because of the known abuse that will come your way? (It is not so much what they do to me, but rather to the horse through their ignorance and vanity.)

Who can you help in a System that was flawed even before it became intentionally flawed?


One after the other bricks walls are hit and this had a huge impact in who and what we became. Was it all doom and gloom? – I would say no, but what you don’t understand is the cruelty in the illusion rippled through its frequencies and touched all. It’s like seeing a wrong is being done and looking the other way because what can be done about it? And these wrongs flow into one that came to define this place, where now this current within takes us over, and soon we go with the flow where we do nothing as the chaos around us unfolds.

For me, stillness and being around nature was always an antidote to this black streak within us, where we could stop and gather ourselves and know that not all is bad, but sooner or later we have to enter the System again to survive.


Your home that is you needs to fall apart, where you look at you and not the vices/irritations of others but rather your own. Whether you like it or not, those walls will come down, so my advice is stand aside and allow them to fall, because if you don’t, Love will drop them, and the more you hold on the more unpleasant the experience will be.

Yesterday was a bad day, as my walls were filled with frustrations because I cannot help others because I need help to help myself first and this never came – never.


To where are we walking? I would say back to the simplicity of Life, where logic and reason are no longer a part of our existence. You don’t have to think, you just have to be what you are, and how simple is that, but we lived in a place where nothing was as it should be. Always was there some or other nonsense to sort out and rise above. That is not normal – Life was never meant to be that difficult. We have been played in a cruel way, and that should never have been, where others are preyed upon so that we can be okay. We were never okay because happiness cannot be found through the unhappiness of another.


You walls of who you are and what your world was are breaking down as we speak. My advice is stand back as the unnatural falls away. Look at yourself and know yourself, and what you will see is someone who never quite got it right, and this frustrated you and made you a lesser being in your eyes. What you never understand was the flaw of the System flowed through you from the proximity of where you stood, which was an illusion devoid of a heart field, where numbers/codes of frequencies were the building blocks of this place. That is not you and me, nor is it our home.


You think you got this? You think you are okay? Well, let your walls fall and you will see what you were and where you stood. In your mind you were going forwards and getting things done, and you were, but in an analytical way, where two plus two equals four. You succeeded – you solved the analytical problem and came out tops. Shame, you never knew you were in a stupid, cruel, unnatural Game where there are never any winners. We all lose sooner or later – as those who have fallen before us, those same beings whose path we are on, the path to destruction in this artificial construct.


You are not as important as you think you are, so let your walls fall to reveal the real you.

9th February, 2024



  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is fair to say that this journal ends when there is nothing more for me to say.

Well, I don’t have anything more to say. Have all the “I’s” been dotted and the “t’s” crossed? – I don’t know. What I do know is as I sit here there is nothing more for me to say.


So what happens from here, as in what will happen? All I can say is may Life unfold as it should. I do not hope that this happens because hope gets us nowhere. Everything has been done on my part to unseat these Beasts from their control tower and stranglehold over us the ones they created, because truly they were the cruelest of us all – ones totally devoid of sympathy and consideration, where the “I,” as in them, is all they were interested in. In their Game of numbers and codes and frequencies the heart did not feature, where caring did not fit into their equations. It was all about number crunching, where as long as the codes were intact then so were they. The outcome was all that mattered – how we got there was irrelevant to them. Debasing ourselves was an unfortunate criteria to us sinking as the illusion fell further from the true state of Consciousness, but all that mattered to these Monsters was the outcome. As long as the results were there, as in energy to keep the System running, then all was well. These beings never had to worry about job cuts and laying off of workers – that was our problem, where our inability to provide just intensified our energy output, which is all they needed to be okay.


At the heart of the analytical illusion that we that are Consciousness created were ones who were mathematical and clinical, where the illusion was about numbers and making sure those numbers are contained. What are you the spirit and body form – you are a programmed frequency whose database is codes derived from numbers that fit together to define you. Somewhere within this analytical system is your true self which is Consciousness, and any love or caring we see coming from others is their lost state of Consciousness shining through.

How does a created analytical program fix God/Consciousness in its lost state? How were we ever to depart this mess that we created? Sticking together only happened during troubled times, and when these times dissipated we fell back to our “me/mine” status. It was too the innocent we had to turn to find the answers out of this mess – those with unconditional love who loved us more than themselves, as their state was the only real smattering of what Life should be.


As I sit here I have nothing. I have no career to speak of from which I can earn a living. I have no money. I have no friends I can pick up the phone with and have a chat to. I don’t know how I will get money to put petrol in my car before the tank runs empty.

Truly, I have nothing in this illusion that allows me to progress and make something with my Life, where I feel I am moving forwards and getting somewhere, even if it means looking forward to a visit with someone I call a friend.

I have nothing, but there is one element I always had, and that was to notice Love when I saw it. From an early age I knew what was real when I saw it, and in the animals I saw innocence and purity and Love. To these I always clung to as I knew that what they had was something special and unique in this world. How is this possible if they are also a created illusion – how do they get it right that they have and express unconditional Love and we don’t?

When we compare us the Human species to the wild animals and nature at large, we the Humans are best equipped to live in the spirit realm where things are easier and less dense, where a part of us knows we are closer to what is real and is bigger than us, which is Consciousness. Nature and the wild animals have a balance between Life and death, where they see the big picture and understand they are an integral part of the seen and unseen, which means they live with a greater peace, knowing when the one cycle is over there is a seamless transition into the next one, be it the seasons or from life to death. (I say this because when I went into the energy field of Humans the right side of my brain was prominent, which represents the spirit realm. On the animals there was a symmetrical swing between the left and right brain, meaning the animals and nature were aware of both the seen and unseen and used this understanding to see the big picture, which created an awareness of peace within them.) In domesticated animals, they are the opposite to us, where the left brain is active and the right all but absent, where they live for now, as in I am so glad to see you and be in your presence, and this is all I need to be at peace. For them, this now is the everything. We Humans think we are like that but our inhibitions hold us back, where we conform to society and let others know we know our place. So we do our best here in a rather boring and monotonous fashion, and when we hit the spirit realm we come unto ourselves.


Of the three, which one is the best? I would say none are because we all forgot to include Consciousness into our equation. So when we include Consciousness, how should we be living? In answering this question the head region does not even feature, meaning no consideration is made to either the seen or unseen realms. What is felt is a stirring deep within the chest region, where the Infinite is awakened within us. This touches the heart field of Consciousness, and everything in the head region gives way for the presence of the energy from the heart field that rises up to the head region. What this means, is through the head the heart is expressed, where I do and say what I am which arose from the heart field. And this fulfills us – no need for money or a mate or someone to idolize where we wish we were them. Not much can be said about this state, as to experience it is to know it. So what is needed from here to express this that we are? Where are we in this stage of our progression to become what we are?


We are where we see and know the illusion, where I feel the presence of the left eye which represents the illusion. Now a clockwise and anti-clockwise spinning is felt within the left eye, where with each spin cycle the illusion unravels from what it was, and this is from Consciousness knowing itself and where it belongs. Now a strong, steady movement is felt in the chest area which moves to the region of the left eye, which is the Infinite moving towards the illusion. From there, the next step will be the Infinite taking over the left eye/illusion and making it its own, where the illusion falls into the loving embrace of the Infinite, and that will be the end of the nightmare we called Life, where we will be reborn to what naturally is.

At what stage are we at now? A penetration is felt from the Infinite in the chest into the left eye, and this we have known over the last two weeks or so. This presence of the Infinite is awakening Consciousness to its full might, and when it starts to sing it will swing and become less dense as the Infinite that is Home fills the presence of Consciousness.


And let me tell you one thing, and that is what I write I know to be the truth, but what I also know is nothing within my existence has transformed this Steven. I cannot bullshit myself, and I never will because being at peace in who I am is too important to me. So when will what I write be felt as a “pop” within us, where we have crossed the street and there is no going back to where we were, where now Life that is Love walks in us and through us?

It is when the analytical codes/numbers within that define us are broken down and can no longer be. And when or what is that? That is when the Infinite is awakened within us. And what is needed to achieve that, meaning we go back in a circle to re-ask the question of what will break down the codes that have come to define us and the illusion?


From the left eye movement is felt to the back of the inner head region, where the left eye/illusion is loosened up so that the illusion and those therein may be understood. What is the key that kept us and the illusion intact? The left Achilles tendon on the energy field is loose and energy flows out from there. It was here, in this region, that severance was made between the flow of All that is and us that is Consciousness. With the area of the left Achilles tendon within Consciousness restored, the All that is the Infinite flows through this tendon area to awaken the Infinite within Consciousness which is represented deep in our chest area, where the body is used as a road-map to understand the intricacies of Consciousness.

It is this flow/push from the intact left Achilles tendon that allows the Infinite to flow through Consciousness. When we that is Consciousness abandoned the heart for the head, what did we do to allow this degradation transformation to occur within us? The answer is we shut out the Infinite from our existence, and we done this by severing our link to the Infinite at the left Achilles tendon. This dried up the heart field and its association to the Infinite deep within the chest area, where Home was always within but was now no more.


This that flowed through us from the left Achilles upwards can be likened in relation to Consciousness to the air that we the body form breathe. What exactly is this flow that keeps the heart alive within Consciousness?

What can I say to that. It is the movement that is the Infinite, which we can liken to the currents within the sea. Take away the currents – the natural flow of the sea – and everything becomes stagnant and lifeless, and this is what happened to our heart field when we shut ourselves off from the flow of Infinite Love that coursed through Consciousness. We that is Consciousness severed that bond at our left Achilles tendon so that we may separate from Home to understand it, where we may know what we are as our Home defined us.


With our connection to the flow of the Infinite restored within us that is Consciousness, we go back to the initial question, where what will “pop” within us, where the old is left behind on the path to what naturally is?

I don’t know. What I can say is the number crunchers that controlled us we created. We created our Frankenstein’s when we shut ourselves off from the Infinite, and these Monsters merely done the job we asked them to do, which is understand Life. How could they do this with the absence of the heart field? We asked the impossible of them, so how can we point fingers at these the heartless architects of the illusion and the cosmic geneticists? We cannot.

The wise never shift blame to others because they know more than others by seeing the big picture. We do the same, where we restore the heart field through the intact Achilles tendon in these that we created, and when these Monsters that we created are fixed, which they are, they restore the illusion to the Beautiful Garden that it was that we abandoned.


What “pops” within us to mark the shift from the old to the natural? The natural flow through the left Achilles tendon area awakens and restores the heart and the Infinite within us, which moves to the head region. What was in the head falls away as this is not us – we are not thinkers; we are merely what we are which is Consciousness. A dance of energy is felt at our throat area, where we no longer have to feel obliged to say something to solve a problem, because now there is no problem, where the flow of the Infinite courses through us.

What “pops;” what is that a-ha moment within Consciousness? It is when Consciousness sees the Light that it is. From itself, it sees this Light in all, and thus knows that it is all that can be and will forever be. (In both the eyes a Light awakened, and this is what “popped” in all of us.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chaos pulls you down to its level and floors you because you did not expect cruelty or deserve it. When you get up there is anger within you, because what gave the cruel the right to destroy you the innocent, where their actions were seen as normal to them.

An anger brews within you, where you have to leave before this anger is unleashed and you add to the chaos. But leave to where? What do you do, because you are alone and there is nobody there for you to take you away from this most cruel and inhumane place?


What do you do? What can you do when the cruel have destroyed you?

You will yourself to rise above this place, where you leave and never come back, because the place of the cruel is not your home.

So be it.

12th February, 2024


The last two days were bad. Two nights back in my depressed state fell asleep, and what came was really Dark, as in most sinister beings. There is bad stuff out there.

During the course of the days felt the Snake within my presence in my left front thigh. It’s presence was not subtle – it was there and growing in energy to take me over where I became it. You could say I hit a low ebb, where how dare you have no respect for me.


If I stayed in that space I would have become the meanest mother-fucker Monster this place had ever seen. I would have eventually been able to split this galaxy into two like a cracked nut and let all therein fall – just because I can.


But that is not me. It is not nice to have no respect for others because they have no respect for you. When they bring you down to that level it isn’t nice being there because a controlled anger consumes you, and that really is not you – it is not natural.


In that space I told myself I have a choice: Become what I naturally am, or be consumed by this illusion, where you become it, rise above it, and then break everything through a constant temper-tantrum until all is destroyed. Everything that was Beautiful would be no more because our rage makes us blind to the simplistic art of being there for each other.

Into that space you too will eventually fall, where you know the complete opposite to what should naturally be. Your choice, as was mine, was whether you want to remain there or not. Believe you me, you don’t, because what Love that you are is destroyed as you destroy all around you. You have no power in that state, just a controlled rage that takes you over, where what you were is now no more.


My choice is to be what I naturally am, which is Love, because that has a happy and everlasting ending. So just be what you are, and with the understanding of this journal Life will unfold as it should.

You are not alone – the Infinite is watching and touching you. Just do your bit by choosing to walk with it.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

I came into this world lost and have always been so, and this time of my Life now I would say has been amongst the worst, where I know I have nothing and am nothing, and as far as the future holds, it is one big mystery as Life always has had nothing to offer me, and my future looks just as bleak as my Life always has been.


What advice could someone have given to me at an early age to swing things around, where I Live rather than float – just going through the motions?

The advice that would have transformed my Life is to always be true to myself. What that means is never lie to yourself. If you are lost, embrace that aloneness and make it your own. If you are scared, hold that fear in your arms and embrace it.

Always be true to yourself. Always know what you are – how you feel at that moment.


From there you have something to work on. You know yourself, and you know how you are is not what you want to be, so from this vantage point you release this what you are to bring forth the real you.

What you know more than anything is that you are Love. This is me – what I am and will always be – but boy oh boy do I feel awful at this moment. You are true to yourself because you know yourself, and you know you are a zillion miles from where you should be, but you are Love, so somehow, somewhere you will be and express this what you are.


Are you hoping? Are you having wishful thinking? No, you are not, because to hope is to wait and see what comes your way, which is most of the time nothing, where you drift with the nothing that you are.


You know what you are – you are Love, and not confusion and hatred and anger and frustration. This Love that you are is a pretty powerful force because it defines the illusion as the Infinite superimposes all – ever in this illusionary bubble that we created so far away from Home. In our limited, naive state we wanted to go as far away as possible from Home to reflect – we just wanted time to think and ponder, and there was nothing wrong with that, but things fell apart before we could return Home as the absence of our heart field created uncertainty in us and all around us.

The thinker and philosopher that we became never understood that you cannot outrun the Infinite as this is all there is. So in your far off distant place Home is still amongst you. This we never knew, and thus never embraced our true Home that has always been with us that superimposed and infiltrated our analytical illusion.


Stop lying to yourself. If someone told me at an early age to never lie to myself – to always be true to what I am, things would have been very different. You are Love, meaning you cannot be anything else but Love, which means you are a solid, good person. Does it mean you have all the answers; that you are always happy and at peace? It means that whatever comes your way will pass so that the real you can be defined and expressed.


Look at that person, everyone would say. What do they have that defines them? All that it is, is a foundation of your true self. On Love you build with Love which creates the everlasting, which is merely a state of this that you are. Anything else that is not Love passes you by because that is not you.


If you compare me to what this reality defines as success, then I truly am a failure, which is a problem as I like the finer things of Life. I also like sitting against a tree in the middle of nowhere all by myself.

What I am trying to say is as long as we are here in the thinkers illusion a balance has to be met, so that from this springboard of you knowing who you are, peace may be attained within you. It is worthwhile repeating as it’s really important: Don’t ever lie to yourself. Pull yourself apart to analyse yourself where you see this that you are.

I am lost. Okay, that’s being honest with yourself. I am also Love, which is knowing yourself. From this Love you see your lost state, which is not you, so this state is removed to bring forth this expression of the Love that you are.


Not one word of understanding is necessary from this journal if you are always true to yourself, and to be true to yourself you need to know yourself. You are Love, and so is the All that surrounds and is within you. Make this that is you your own so that you may always be true to yourself. Don’t be anything else but what you are.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is always interesting to note where we are and what is our role here.

My one daughter has begun university this year – the first true progression into the work-force by finding what we want to do with our lives. I look at that pressure these kids endure that overwhelms them and something in the back of my mind says to me that surely Life should be simpler than this, where we rather fill our days picking up coconut shells whilst we walk around the island.

We are not meant to be so overwhelmed by this place, where as a parent, with age we merely pass the baton we carried to our children, where they now have children to look after, where they now do what we done.


What I have come to understand is some problems in this reality cannot be fixed, because those problems are made to slot into this reality, and a good example here is our health, where when our emotions go on a rollercoaster ride so does our health.

I truly believe that what was a foundation of health that we once had can no longer be attained here in this reality because we have slipped too far from the basics, where Life was once about being rather than doing nonstop.


When I wake up in the morning now I ask myself in what reality am I in – am I in the analytical/mathematical illusion, or am I in the one Semiramis created – the Beautiful illusionary Garden? What this question does is give us perspective of where we are in relation to where we should be.

Yesterday I painted this palisade gate of ours. As I painted it I remarked to myself that this gate staring at me with its new coat of paint is Beautiful. Truly, what I saw in that gate was a representation of the Garden, where at that moment the illusionary Garden frequency touched me and I witnessed Beauty. (It was more a knowing than a feeling.)


When it was said a few weeks back that help has come our way, what does this help entail? I would say we are helped to make the transition from this analytical reality to the Garden of Semiramis that we abandoned. There is truly nothing for us here in the logical illusion because there is no logic in finding yourself in a place where you don’t belong. Why stay if this is not you and where you belong?


This morning I treated two puppies that were rescued and ended up in a shelter. When I saw the impact that the cruelty of Life done when it touched these two puppies I thought of the lions in the wild, where if these two pups were in the wild they would not have lasted an hour before the lions would have killed and eaten them. And truly, that would be a most merciful and welcome death because no animal deserves to live out its life with such a disadvantage from being born without the care of a mothers love, where all you see and witness is the harshness of this place.

You don’t get more innocent that a puppy or a kitten, and believe you me, when cruelty touches them they become a fraction of what they should be, where they live out their lives in agony because their bodies cannot function from the emotional turmoil of finding cruelty rather than love. Even in an adopted loving home their spirits never fully recover from experiencing the complete opposite to the love that they are.


When I saw those pups today I understood that being in this place is futile because so often we cannot rise above what Life done to us. And why should we rise up, because we are better than this place, where if anything, this illusion should come up to our level to what naturally is. But even better still, rather move to where you belong, and this is the frequency/illusion that Semiramis created for us to go and play in. There you be, as well as express this state of being, which is peace and fun and joy.


So tomorrow morning when you wake up ask yourself where you are – in which illusion do you find yourself in, where you know the one you belong in and the other you don’t. This awareness will shift you to where you belong, and throughout the day you will begin to witness the Beauty of the illusionary Garden. It was not the paint that made the palisade fence Beautiful – it was the frequency that expressed itself through the gate. That is normal. Yes, it is still an illusion, but in that illusion there is the Love of a Queen. And from there you go Home to the Infinite.

I have always waited to witness the presence of a being of Love, and there it was in the frequency of an iron gate.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

It’s difficult to face failure. It’s difficult to know of a problem, where it doesn’t matter how hard you try, the problem will not go away, where it is here to stay.


When I asked why Life is so cruel my Third Eye was opened to see what is going on around us that we never knew of. What I saw from day one was those of all shapes and sizes come into our space to implant a dream within us, where we give attention/energy to the dream, and this energy these entities feed from.

That is why Life is so cruel – it needs our energy. We are all in a place where we don’t belong, living an existence that is not meant to be, and that all requires effort from our part, and to supplement that effort we need energy/food. All of us – the good, the bad, and the ugly.


Over the last few nights the implanted dreams have been extreme. These fuckers came to eat, where their implanted dreams were severe, as in super-intense, and there they were, feeding from my energy that accumulated from me following their story.

During last night there was once again this group gathering/effort from which they all feasted from my energy, and then this morning just before I woke up another dream/story was implanted as my body lay in bed sleeping. Woke up from the dream to see this young pretty girl sitting next to me. She wore this beautiful floral dress that exposed her shoulders. I never saw her face as her back was towards me. She loosened her dress, and I thought to myself “oi, what’s going on here now.” She loosened her dress to expose what looked like a three inch vertical surgical slit between her shoulder blades. From this slit came an old looking bird that came to feed from my energy. This bird lived within her and was her master. And this is the shit going on all around us the spirit, body form and Consciousness go about Life doing our best to survive.


You think and your thinking takes up energy which requires you to eat.

I think, therefore I am.

That is not true. Rather: “I think, therefore I have to eat to sustain my energy to be able to think.” Sounds pretty harmless doesn’t it, but that thinking/analyzing comes at a price, where you eat the energy of another, and others in the unseen feed from your energy.

Look at the misery of this illusion and ask why, and there is the answer in the above sentence. Something as simple and joyous as eating can have such a vile outcome, where we eat to keep ourselves and the analytical illusion alive – alive to face another day of survival.


And this is what I spoke about yesterday, where some problems in this illusion cannot be solved as they fit into this place.

The head thinks, which requires energy to sustain it, but remember the whole analytical illusion discarded the heart to rule in the head. So is this illusionary space we live in a living organism that too requires energy? You betcha. That is the magnitude of our problem, where fasting and not thinking will not solve the problem of eating, because all around us everything eats as we follow the example of the analytical illusion.

This is the problem at hand, where we have to eat to feed ourselves and the organism that is the illusion. This problem you cannot fix, as this problem is part and parcel of the analytical illusion.


So what do you do?


You tell me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The answer is you become the analytical illusion – you broaden your space and you become one with this that is the analytical illusion. From there you reveal the heart space that you are. Now Beauty shines within this mathematical, insane place where our problem of finding ourselves in a place where we don’t belong could never be solved as we lacked the key ingredient of what we are which is Love.


You become this place, and from there you become what you are, which is Love, which is expressed through our heart field.

In shining you and the analytical illusion remember what should be. We are meant to play and be joyous, and when we have played enough, we return to the fields of Infinite Love, where we also play and express the Source within us from where we arose. Our stepping stone to the Infinite is the Beautiful illusion Queen Semiramis created. That this lady/energy field turned bad and insane is the truth, where she too lived in the head and not the heart to be with us here in the analytical illusion. But understand one thing: I am also bad and insane and so are you – we have to be to fit into this place where we don’t belong. We the manufactured programs are so strongly put together to serve our roles as emitters of energy that we never question this that we are. And please don’t question yourself – just get out of here because we don’t belong. What we are is mad to believe that what we do is okay.

There is more out there than satisfying our pleasures.


Get out.

You that is Consciousness built this analytical illusion, so just as easily can you un-build it. Allow your heart field to be by knowing it is within you, and with this awakened, know what you are doing: You are breaking down the head/analytical frequency to reveal the heart field that you are. From there go back to this place that Semiramis created because that is Beautiful as are you. There rest and know yourself, and from there go Home to the fields of Infinite Love.


That is what you do.

Others will follow, most notably the innocent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dream It Possible



[Verse 1]

I will run, I will climb, I will soar

I'm undefeated, ooh

Jumping out of my skin, pull the chord

Yeah I believe it, ooh

The past, is everything we were

Don't make us who we are

So I'll dream, until I make it real

And all I see is stars


It's not until you fall that you fly

When your dreams come

Alive you're unstoppable

Take a shot, chase the

Sun, find the beautiful

We will glow in the dark

Turning dust to gold

And we'll dream

It possible

Possible, ooh

And we'll dream

It possible

[Verse 2]

I will chase, I will reach, I will fly

Until I'm Breaking, Until I'm Breaking

Out of my cage, like a bird in the night

I know I'm changing, I know I'm changing

In, into something big

Better than before

And if it takes, takes a thousand lives

Then it's worth fighting for


It's not until you fall that you fly

When your dreams come

Alive you're unstoppable

Take a shot, chase the

Sun, find the beautiful

We will glow in the dark

Turning dust to gold

And we'll dream

It possible, ooooh

It possible, oh, ooh


From the bottom to the top

We're sparking wild fires

Never quit and never stop

The rest of our lives

From the bottom to the top

We're sparking wild fires

Never quit and never stop

It's not until you fall that you fly


When your dreams come

Alive you're unstoppable

Take a shot, chase the

Sun, find the beautiful

We will glow in the dark

Turning dust to gold

And we'll dream

It possible

Possible, ooh

And we'll dream

It possible

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When you move from here to there you can see where you were and what troubled you, and in seeing yourself from a new perspective, what was disharmonious is gone in the moment because it never belonged and was never you.


That is what we needed – to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror, where we see and know ourselves. To do that we needed to understand how we ended up where we were, and in knowing that we may step out of that place to where we belong. In stepping out you see what you were and how the analytical illusion panelbeated your spirit and Consciousness, which in turn touched the body form.

To know yourself you have to see yourself, and to see yourself you need perspective – an impartial perspective, where you look as an outsider to you that was. We needed a mirror to see what we were, and from there one had to shine on this mirror what we are so that the old may be transformed.


Opening the heart space shone on the illusion, where we could see ourselves. From the heart space we see what the analytical illusion done to us, and this is transformed so that we may be what we are, which is one that is devoid of disharmony because in the presence of Love such a state does not exist. The heart space is Love.


When I checked on myself earlier on I felt the bony socket at the back of my left eye was crumbling. This was from me doing my best to keep this illusion intact, where the illusion is representative of the left eye. I knew that if the illusion falls we all fall. What I never knew was what this effort done to me, and this was so because I was caught up and mesmerized by the illusion, where something had to be done to make this wrong right.

Just like you, I could never see myself. Now I can, where Love looks back on the illusion as it departs the illusions space, where we see what we were, and most importantly, what we should be.

I don’t know about you, but I need a helping hand, so what Consciousness does, together with the awareness of the heart space, is bring forth what is needed to keep the ball rolling where you move from the analytical illusion to the Garden of Semiramis as it was. Yes, this Garden is place, but it is more than that – it is a state of peace, which is a knowing that Life is unfolding as it should.


What blows me away each day is the lack of energy I have, when the density of the illusion continually floors me. That is not living – that is wishing this joke of an existence would end as that is not Life as it should be. So for me the real test that we are awakening to what and where we should be is to be in this illusion but not of it, where the density of this foul place no longer touches me – now you walk here but are not from here as the frequency that you are is not the same as the one around you. In this frequency you move more and more to what is real.



Take time off your busy schedule and go have a cuppa tea with the local drug gang in the area. Sit down with the boys and be amazed by what they are.


You have no idea what level of Beast is out there in the seen and unseen. And you have to please understand that, where you take my word for it rather than impose on their existence.

Yesterday I came across a drug gang that used their used car dealership as a front to their organization. That I never knew until I met the Beast staring me in the face. What is out there in the seen realm is worse than the Beasts in the unseen – far worse. The reason being is the unseen are impartial, where this is their job what they do and what they are, and this acceptance and understanding brings a smattering of peace within them.

Here in the seen we have confusion, frustration, anger and hatred within us, and this deadly cocktail brings forth a most unpleasant character that you never want to cross within your existence. Don’t go there – they are not nice. And believe you me, that is not you. Find your people and embrace and look after them, all the while ushering them to where they belong.


What I am getting at, is while we are in the seen what is our game plan? Why live? Why get up in the mornings? Do we want to falter and stumble across the path of the vile?

You live to lead a remarkable Life. Experience and know what Life should be, where we once again get a taste of the Illusion as it was meant to be. Do you walk away from filth and not help them – those that view a gang-rape as just another happening in the day; those that touch you and irrevocably scar you forever more? I would say yes because they are beyond the help of you and me. Just walk to where you belong so that the path may be left for all who wish to follow. And know that first and foremost you walk for you because you need to be you. You think you are okay – you are not. You are fragile and weak from the proximity of being where you don’t belong. So don’t try and pull a Mother Theresa. Help yourself so that you may be in a position to help others, but I believe you actions will be enough to show others what is within them that they are.


So get up every morning to lead a remarkable Life. That is your Game plan. Know you are shifting from where you were to where you should be. Know that Life is unfolding as it should. Know that you are being touched by all that is and can be and will forever be. Welcome this state into what has been a harsh, cruel existence.

Unfold like a flower into what you are as you cannot be anything else but what you are. And most of all, have fun, where what you are is touched by the Infinite that is Home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The role of Evil was to hide what was Good/Love to the point where we believed it no longer existed. That is not true – it does exist. Call it forth and wake it up and make it your own as this is what you are. And you will see that you are everywhere. Why was all that energy needed? It was to hide the monumental truth that Love is supreme – where there is nothing else but Love.


So as you walk call forth and awaken all this that you are. Wake it up just as you are awakening

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, steven geldenhuys said:

The role of Evil was to hide what was Good/Love to the point where we believed it no longer existed. That is not true – it does exist. Call it forth and wake it up and make it your own as this is what you are. And you will see that you are everywhere. Why was all that energy needed? It was to hide the monumental truth that Love is supreme – where there is nothing else but Love.


So as you walk call forth and awaken all this that you are. Wake it up just as you are awakening

Saying "its all about love" is pointless unless we live it and practice it. Otherwise it's just platitudes and words.

What is the point of dumping all this diatribe here for you? This kind of stuff is personal to YOUR experience and YOUR JOURNEY and would better serve you as a private journal.


Have you not considered that you see so much darkness because that is a reflection of stuff you may still carry perhaps? That we get what we focus on etc? It is possible to banish dark dreams etc.

We allow the darkness in, its not an uncontrolled invader. When you stand in your truth, darkness does not and cannot follow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was all about the Sun/Consciousness.

Did Consciousness become bad? No, it first and foremost became confused/uncertain. “What am I? What is this place the Infinite that is my Home?” It just needed to understand, and if it was not for the illusionary Garden that Semiramis innocently created, these questions by Consciousness would never have been asked, because in the illusionary Garden we that is Consciousness could see Home from another dimension/perspective. What we never understood was that we were standing in an illusion, which was Beautiful but not  real, and the Home we saw was real. But that is all by-the-by because to ask a question is harmless – there was nothing wrong with finding our spot where we could be by ourselves away from Home and ponder. If anything, it was a healthy move, where we may see and understand the glory and wonder of who and what we are.


The parasitic frequency of Deception that arose from Consciousness as to what else is in the Garden that is not already in the Infinite was neither good nor bad – it merely was. It took, which parasites do, but it arose from the Infinite so it sure as hell cannot be bad.

The parasite created a want within us, but from where did this want arise? It arose from Consciousness, where “I want to know: I want to know what is in this illusionary Garden,” and from there, when it entered the illusion “I want to know what is Home and who I am.”


That is what curiosity done – our curiosity. So it was never about the Parasite, it was about the want that we created within ourselves. This want to understand could never be solved, because there was never an answer, because how can you know yourself when the part that is you is now absent from your existence. Our want to know moved us to the analytical head, which means we shut out the heart space, so the 99.9% of the answer as to what we are and what is our Home was thrown away, meaning now we became lost and uncertain. “I don’t know me; I have to find me.” Confusion set in, and the simple, curious, innocent wanting to know became sinister, where deep down I don’t understand, and this creates a Darkness/uncertainty within me which is relieved by me fulfilling my want.

So I want that, and when I got it this fulfilled me. I felt ecstatic as my want had been fulfilled, but this high was only temporary as there was no platform within me to know myself and return Home. Our original want of needing to know was never answered, so we went for second best, where I want that. I got it, so am fulfilled, but we never were and never have been fulfilled as the original want was never met.


That was the sadness of everything, where your Consciousness and mine went to find an answer to a question, but this question could never be answered, so we became lost and made the best of what we had, which in reality was truly nothing, as we were in an illusion and absent of our heart space.


When Eddie Murphy said that the Devil is stronger than God he was right – well, partly right. What he never knew was that there was no God/Love here in the analytical illusion, there was only the Devil, which is Consciousness in its lost state. And that is why I say that you and I are bad, and I say this not to make you feel guilty about yourself, but rather so that you stop lying to yourself.

Know what you are – you are Consciousness devoid of what you are which is your heart space. That we are lost is the biggest understatement ever.

To be lost is not good, but we took this lost state to a new level where we became stupid, where we saw the destruction around us and saw this as beautiful – Chaos. What was within us we brought without, where we expressed what we are inside, and now the analytical illusion turned into the insane illusion, where either we participated in this freak show or we remained silent to the happenings around us. From the stupid branched off the spineless – the runt that sees wrong but does fuck-all to assist the innocent. Sorry for the reality check, but now you are stupid and spineless, which drops you one level below the cruel, and as you know, because of this, the cruel have always been above you. You the lost child is now ruled by the cruel school-yard bully, and this pathetic roadshow is all we have come to know.


From pure innocence a Hell was born. Did the Infinite ever intervene? – You betcha! The problem was that when Consciousness fell to a dense realm from us making this want our own, The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and Queen Semiramis fell to be with us, where they became trapped in this dense state that we created. Remember, our logic and reason became lost as we did, where now insanity ruled us and this place. So from a Beautiful illusionary Garden we fell to an Analytical one to an Insane one.

Now reason was not even on the cards, meaning we would not listen to ourselves, let alone others. Our only salvation was to dig ourselves out of this shit-hole, and I pray with all my heart that this journal has done just that.


Yesterday evening as I sat at the dining room table something changed within me, where I felt the presence of the beat of my heart. When I focused on something, everything else around me was shut out, where all that was, was me.

This morning when I checked on myself and others this line/channel was drawn from the left eye to the heart space. What this means is Consciousness is Illuminated, where it is once again the Light, where it knows itself. In simple language it shines, which illuminates you and me the spirit and body form. Now there is a natural pull to this Light around which we the spirit and body form were created. And that is the simplicity of the truth, where do you nothing but go with the flow of what is.


You want to heal yourself and others; you want to be happy; you want to be at peace – then fall into the gravity field between yourself and your Consciousness, where now you are pulled to what should naturally be. What is needed in this upliftment state is drawn to you through the presence of your Consciousness that knows all because it is the all as it arose from the Infinite.


The difference between now and before the beginning of time is your Consciousness is complete. All that is lacking is it being touched by Home, and when this happens, Consciousness will go from awakening to awakened. How soon that happens is determined by how much you let go to the current between you the spirit and body form and Consciousness.

By knowing and being itself your Consciousness will not abandon you the spirit and body form. Those that resist natural Love will fall to be broken so that they may be reborn to what they are, where this will be the final fall, but this fall will be different from the others, where its destruction will be to tear away what we created to reveal what should be. To these the lost that cherish and find joy in the abuse of others, these will be broken so that perspective may be seen to what they became, and from there they may know themselves.


The bottom line is you and I the spirit and body form are now on auto-pilot, where our Consciousness calls the shots. Kick and shout and throw a tantrum will do nothing to avoid what is coming our way. My advice is let go – go with the flow that your Consciousness guides you in.

What worked in the past is not applicable now, because we in the illusion have no say to our destiny. Consciousness that is beyond the insane and analytical is now calling the shots. For those like me that have been searching for so long for a way out of this mess, that is good news. For others that call this wasted space that they are “home,” there is a rude awakening coming their way, where the days of being shallow and cruel are over. What worked in the past is now no longer applicable. What power you believed you had is no more, where the Light that is within you shines as it should. That is you – not the filth that you have become.


The Game is over.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Everything is orchestrated from the spirit realm. When Consciousness was lost and uncertain it became deceived by Evil entities so that they may control the illusion and make it their own. And this they done with remarkable effectiveness, at the expense of the innocent. How the weak used this element of deception to their advantage, where the idiot wielded might, and their might was believing they are righteous, was by them believing they are better than you and me. This they had to believe above all else, because when you break them down to analyze them, this belief that they are better than you and me is all they have. That was their power – their righteous belief that they truly know better than you. Some call these the narcissist, but I call them the idiots, because all they fool is themselves.

How long did they believe they could play this Game of do and say what I want when I want because I can because I am better than you? What about being humble? What about being thankful? What about being kind?


Nobody is perfect – we all have faults. But what came to rule the illusion was the idiot who believed they are something to the point that they are better than me and you. I would say in some cases they may be right and you wrong, because nobody is perfect, but what destroys these entities – which destroyed the illusion – was their belief that they are never wrong, as in never. To avoid this looking in the mirror all fault was deflected away from them, but this was only one half of their solution. The other half was to destroy the pure and innocent, which justifies the first half of the problem, which is others are always wrong and they are right. “You see, there it is: There, they are destroyed to pay for their sins of being wrong, so as always, and will always be, I am right, which makes me righteous, which in my eyes elevates me to a god status, where I am worthy – the all that is.”


What I speak of here is my fellow species – the ones we call Human beings; the ones who believe they are top of the food chain here on planet Earth.

These ones I will never know and understand, the reason being is because they don’t even know themselves. I don’t know my wife; I don’t know my children; I don’t know those in this frequency reading what I write; I don’t know those that bring their animals to me for help. I know the unseen – I know them very well, but I will never know those in the seen realms, the reason being is because we are truly idiots. The one fucked up generation fucks and brings forth a fucked up generation that learnt from the previous fucked up generation, and before we know it, we don’t know who and what we are. But this cannot be – we need to take charge and control our environment in order to survive, and the best way to do this is rise above those around you, and the only way this can be done is to believe you are better than them, because in this belief we can justify our righteousness when we destroy them.


That has always worked because there was never a mirror for us to look into to see the idiot that we are, where our fucked up belief gets thrown back into our face so that we can learn manners and respect. And as said, the ball just carried on rolling from generation to generation. Focus on your righteousness. Focus on attaining your pleasures – that is what the Game was all about. How sad that the innocent had to be destroyed to keep the emperor in his false clothes.


If anything, I wrote to take the innocent out of the equation of the righteous. It was truly a fuck-up that we were alone – that there was nobody to watch our backs and be there for us. It is for this reason that Consciousness needs to shine bright to make this wrong right – and as in now and forever more until all the innocent are free of the idiot. When they fall – which is happening to the idiot as we speak  - that is their existence and not ours, where we are no part of their destruction. I have no intention to be in the same room when this happens as that destruction is not mine to witness – it was what they done to themselves and thus I am in no proximity to that.

This Consciousness understands now.


There is no bitterness or anger within me, there is a frustration, as well as a recognition that idiots no longer inhabit my space and that of the innocent. I do not know those in the seen realm, but my spirit does, and so does Consciousness. What comes my way is what I am: If I am Love, then I receive Love. If I am kind, then I meet this kindness that I am. If I am an idiot, then that is between me and my Consciousness and no other. Now the fighting for our righteousness goes in-house, where we see what we are and we face the consequences of lying to ourselves.


As said, the party has ended, and boy-oh-boy was it a fucking disaster, where righteous prats felt they were entitled.

Games over. Now all you have is a mirror to look into which is your Consciousness.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

A re-occurring theme over the years that I see from those that come from the unseen/spirit realms is the death of a species. As we the spirits were created/manufactured/born in a cosmic laboratory, so too do we eventually die. This I have seen – scouts on behalf of their species on their spacecraft’s searching the galaxies for a cure to the disease that is destroying them; as well as sickly beings that merely go through the motions of taking our energy whilst they wait out their time to die.


Here in the illusion nothing lasts forever, and that includes your spirit and mine. Everything fades to nothing until all that is left is the Consciousness around which we were created, and from this building block another spirit and its body form is created/born in the cosmic laboratories. Sure, you come from your mother’s womb, but your mother is an illusion, where the building blocks of her form were produced in a cosmic laboratory, but primarily I would like to discuss the spirit in the spirit realm because I have seen there what happens to us.


So let’s begin with Life in the spirit realm, which begins in a cosmic laboratory. I have been to one of these facilities so I know what I am talking about. Around a strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness – what we call Consciousness – Life, as in a spirit, is created. The association between the spirit and dense body form I am unsure of, but assume that there is a frequency within a frequency, with the one – the spirit – being less dense than the other.

In the spirit realm there are two distinct groups – the one who knows of the Game, and these reside in and embrace the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. These are the bad mother-fuckers whose illusion is an arena to sow their wild oats and eat all they want for their hearts content, and this eating is your energy and mine. Whatever they want, they get. You could liken their reality to ours that is devoid of a law and monetary system, where if you want something you take it because you can.

The catch side to those in the Reptilian frequency is one day they are there, and the next – without any notice – they are not, where they disappear into The Nothingness of the Forgotten, where they completely forget this Goodness around which they were created. That is what happens when you no longer have any guilt or remorse, where over time you instantly disappear as you forget/ignore this that is real in the illusion, which is your Consciousness. I have been to this Nothingness place in my sleep state, and what can one say, where spirits drift not knowing themselves, where they are lost unto themselves as all Goodness within them is now no more. Pathetic, wasted spaces which they have always been, now they just be it.

So that is the inevitable danger of partying 24/7, where one moment you are here, and the next you float amongst those too that have forgotten who and what they are.


We the spirits that understand a universal truth of Love and an everlasting connection with all don’t fully comprehend the proximity of where we are as we drift further and further from our association with the Infinite. That is why culture is so important in any species, where the spirit is fed Beauty and peace, which re-enforces our connection with what is Good, which is our Consciousness which arose from the Infinite.

Our birth of us the spirit was not natural, where it was made to keep a System ticking over, rather than express the Love of Consciousness around which it was created. We were born for a purpose, which was to feed the illusion and the Beasts that dwelled within. As said, we were created for a temporary fix, because these Beasts eventually drop into a void. We the spirit that do not know of this our real purpose fall into the second group in the spirit realm, where we believe we are born between the spirit and the dense body form to learn lessons to evolve to become better boy and girl scouts, where at all times we do our best to uphold our scouts honour to live with dignity and integrity. (Pass me the barf-bag as I puke at that hypocrisy, where all we fool is ourselves.)

What we don’t know is we the spirit eventually die, as there is only so much abuse/dis-ease that we can take. Two aspects are important to note here: The first is that we don’t see this literal fading away of our spirits, as we see what we want to see and believe; and the second is that when our spirits die a new one is created around Consciousness. The last time I saw the spirit of my dog Max he looked completely different to what I know him to be, and that was because his old spirit was so badly damaged from the Beasts in the unseen realm that it died and a new one had to be created. The Max I have always known is still there as it shines from his Consciousness, but his spirit is a new one, where a new set of clothes is draped over Consciousness.


This playing God is despicable, where we the spirit and body form are created only to be destroyed. Mix up emotional states during that process and understand the illusion runs on deep sorrow that never truly leaves us. My youngest daughter was never meant to have lived past the age of twelve, where her spirit is so emancipated there is nothing there to feed/supply her dense body form. I kept her alive, but for what – to delay the inevitable?

As a species, especially since covid, I would say a dis-ease has set into our spirits, where we have dropped from the tenth floor to the first floor, meaning we have begun our journey on the way out. Our spirits are dying, meaning we the species is dying, and that is why the takeover of artificial intelligence to replace us when we are no longer here so that what we created does not sink in on itself all at once. I would say the artificial intelligence here in the seen realm is to wrap up and close up shop as there will be nobody in the spirit realm to do this, where we the spirit will no longer be there as we died off, as did so many species before ours.


What message can we pass onto the spirits in all the realms to avoid this catastrophic sadness, where we see our loved ones become no more? How dare these cosmic geneticists view those we Love as mannequins in a shop window. How dare they!

That has always been the name of the Game here in the illusion: Take and Destroy. The stupidity of the brute doesn’t make them understand they too get destroyed as with all around them.


Our downfall on the spirit realm has been our unconditional Love, where I care more about you than I do myself? If you are not okay I will make sure that you are, and that is Consciousness within my spirit talking and acting.

That has been our downfall, where how can I truly help you if I am not okay. What befell you will befall me because of our proximity to each other, so in truth I cannot help you because I cannot help myself, and this is so because I don’t think of myself – I only think of you. This is the world of my spirit and where I belong – not this dense realm where the cruel feel it is their right to take a baseball bat to this nice guy Steven to release what they really are, which is a twisted, confused, lost being. I don’t like this dense realm – not because of the environment, but because of those that dwell therein. They are not my own – they are not my people. Am I better than them? Let’s put it this way: I am not cruel, so yes, I am better than them – every day of the week, including Sundays.


What the spirit has to understand is unconditional Love for self, and only then can it help others, where it’s “Look at me, I am Beautiful, so look at yourself, where in me see you and what you are.” That heals, the reason being is we Love ourselves by seeing ourselves which is our Consciousness. We the spirit looked to the dense body to help it, and we looked to our own for help, but that never worked because we forgot about the Consciousness around which we were created, and this made us alone, where we eventually died in the seen and the unseen.

So to my spirit and to yours, and all the other spirits in the illusion: Love yourself. This is done by knowing yourself. You are Consciousness. Look into this mirror that you are and see yourself, and from there you grow and you be what you are until all that is left is you that is real which is Consciousness. Until you get there, my request is live Life as it should be. Know what it is to live without heartache and strife. Allow your Consciousness to take you on a joyous ride where you see the Beauty of the illusion. That Beauty is an expression of what you are.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is a question that has not been answered, and of all the questions asked in this journal, I would place this one in the top two. The question is: Those brothers and sisters of ours in the spirit realm that have embraced the Reptilian frequency of the illusion to become Beasts, what happened to them, where they once were beings of Love like you and me, that now they are the complete opposite, which is a disgusting, destructive, cruel Beast?

Something happened to them that flipped them over to the Dark side – what was it?


Let’s take my wife as an example, where here on this planet she is one of billions, if not all of us, with an exception here and there. (A Beast in the seen or unseen is practically one and the same. What flips you over to the Reptilian frequency is when you stop lying to yourself, where you now see the Beast that you always have been. This not lying to yourself is a form of maturity, and in this maturity you become an adult that no longer fools itself, where now you look in the mirror and say to yourself “I am this sick fuck – this is me.” Now there is no turning back, where your path to the Nothingness has set its course. So what differentiates the cruel from the Beast is us stop lying to ourselves, and I think we lie to ourselves because we don’t want to admit that we are shaming ourselves and not being true to the Love that is within us. You could call this our ultimate betrayal to our Consciousness within, where by embracing the Beast we have become, we turn our backs and walk away from our true selves.)


My wife is a good person – there is goodness inside of her. Look to see what else is inside of her, and you will see evil. You don’t have to look to find this fault – it is there for all to see when you look past the lie they tell themselves. But understand one thing: All out there are Good, just as all out there – bar a small minority – are Bad.

How can I make such a statement? The answer is I see the wave of faces around me in the seen and unseen, and what I see is those that have forgotten to express the Good which they are, which now makes them Bad, where the Bad within them comes to the fore.


So ask yourself how did this Bad get within us? My wife is a really Good person, and yet there she is, doing her best to destroy me that Loves her. Why?

A few weeks back my wife once again had no respect for me. On that day I stooped to her level, where I now had no respect for her, meaning I had no respect for myself. What I became I didn’t like, where I became a destructive person and spirit. That is not me, where now there is not an ounce of Good within me when I express this Bad. It is an awful experience to be in this state, and yet this state is what fills the illusion, where a Darkness/Badness dwells in so many, where so many of these embrace this Evil to become the Beast.


What happened? How is it that those who were Good became Evil, where they destroy all around them – all as in the innocent and those who Love them?

The simple answer is through two mechanisms: The one being preying on our Goodness, and the other is through deceit. We are lured into the cave, and when we exit we are never the same again.


So let’s say I am a spirit in the spirit realm going about my business. I meet another spirit, where what I see on face value in them is kindness, but there is something about them that creates an uneasiness within me. Soon I understand they are not well –am not sure what it is, but something is off centre.

(Now here is where we begin our descent into the abyss to become a Beast.)

Because we are Good, we naturally want to help. Something within us makes us feel uncomfortable, and what it is, is your understanding that the company you are in is not Good, but this cannot be as we are all Good, and even if there is Bad in this spirit, surely the Good overrides the Bad. Surely we overlook this Bad because nobody is perfect, just as we are not, so let’s rather focus on their Good, where we are there for them to uplift them and help them grow.


That was our first mistake, where we never understood that the wolf in sheep’s clothing in front of us never wanted our help. All they want is to destroy us so that we become them because there is strength in numbers.

We care, because this is what we naturally are, but the one in front of us does not care, where their aim is to pull us into their frequency/space to the point where they can get a hold of us – and here I imply a literal hold-fast, where we need to be drawn into their frequency where they can grab our frequency.

This is the first mechanism, where this Evil preyed on our Goodness. From there comes the bad part.

When they grab on our spirits, they pull us down, but the question you have to ask, is to where. That answer is into their Home, which is the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. We are pulled into this awful place, where we became lost therein, and from where we bounce back out the cave to where we belong, but a part of us is forever tainted by this place we were deceived into. That’s the strike two – our deception, to be tainted by this sickness that is the Beast. You don’t know it, but now Evil dwells within you.


We are on the path to becoming the Beast in the unseen from being Baptized within the Reptilian frequency of the illusion.

There is no fucking way that we willingly become Evil, and I say this because to be Bad is truly unpleasant, and this is so because it is not natural. You are Love, and when you become bad there is not one ounce of Love within you, where you turn your back on this what you are, and as said, there is no fucking way we willingly do this to ourselves, where it was done to us by deception.


No doubt Consciousness had to be baptized in the same manner, where it was dipped into the Reptilian frequency, where now what was within it was also within the spirit, and this flowed over into the body form.

My wife could never understand why she destroyed me  - why would she become Evil when this is not who she is. Well, now you know. We were baptized within the Reptilian frequency so we may commence our destiny to become the Beast, and an adult we became when we looked into the mirror and said “This is me!” Now we were what we were baptized into, and that is why cruelty and destruction is seen as the norm in the illusion, where we merely become what we were born/baptized into.


So what you do, is undo your baptism. Know it is there and has no part of your existence. By releasing this that should not be we naturally uplift ourselves to be what we are, as now there is no deceitful presence of Evil within us.


The left Achilles tendon on an esoteric level is the cornerstone of the illusion, where this part within us has to  remain broken. As long as this “tendon” is severed the walls of the illusion remain intact.

We are Good/Love, but with our deceitful baptism we are now Bad, and this created a flux and turmoil within us from which we have never escaped. How can I think and do such things, because that is not me – I am not Bad? Damn right – It was the Reptilian frequency you were baptized into that made you Bad.

Where were these waters within us that we were baptized into through deceit? I would say they were within our whole being, and the intent thereof was to keep us away from the connection to the Infinite, which was through our intact “Achilles tendon.”


You see, now we were bad, and deep down we could not hide from this that we are. Sure, we covered it up, and we got on with Life doing our best, but within all of us is Bad, and it was placed intentionally within us to keep us here.

How am I worthy to enter the Kingdom of God if I am Bad? – I am not, therefore I cannot. So I will stay here and learn.

Wrong! You don’t learn – you merely progress on your baptized path to become a Beast, as have your brothers and sisters before you.


Break these waters within you by knowing they exist. And from there naturally rise up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When your spirit needed to be replaced by another manufactured spirit, what happened was your spirit was either destroyed or faded away as Life became too much. But there is another way our spirits are destroyed, and what happens here, is if we don’t fall quickly enough into The Nothingness of the Forgotten by our outright bad ways, we begin to break down the form of what we were, where if you were born/manufactured from a frequency cell into, let’s say, a Human-looking form, now you regress back to that single cell, and along the way you decay into a vile component. Simply put, you begin to look the part of what you are, which is a Monster. So now you do not so much die, where your spirit is replaced by other, what happens is you become deformed, where what you looked like is no more. You regress into the damned – the living-dead, and why this happens is I can only assume is from a glitch in the System. This is not so bad for the perpetrator/Monster because they carry on imagining what they were rather than see what they have become, but to the victim this Bad entity becomes ghoulish bad, as where they should have dropped into the Nothingness, they and their acts become more extreme.


Let me tell you where my spirit was during the early hours of this morning just before I woke up. (Later I will tell you how I ended up there.) And just be warned: What I describe is explicit and not pleasant.

My spirit found itself in a room of sorts where a transaction was going down. There were two others in the room that were Human looking. The one guy was like me, where he was a guest in the room. The other guy was there, but he was not always noticeable, in the sense I couldn’t get a good look at him.

All three of us were naked in the room.

The other guest stood up, and the owner of the place stood next to him. The owner had a massive erection. He shoved his erection into the other guys arse, which startled the guest as he did not expect that – where what happened to him was a startling, painful and most unpleasant experience.

From there I felt the owner of the place standing behind me and was butt-fucking my spirit. I twisted myself to get a hold of his face so that I could rip it apart, but his Human body form was just a mirage which hid his true form. There was nothing of him I could get a hold of to tear and destroy.

From there my spirit was back in my body, which was now cognitive of what had just happened to my spirit. As I lay face down in bed I understood what a rape victim felt like after their ordeal, where a hollowness is all that you feel inside of you. Through my Third Eye I saw this creature crawling on my back. It looked like about a two and a half inch diameter centipede that did not have so many legs. This was the creature/Monster that hid in the Human form that abused me and the other guest in the room.


Now my body was awake. I said to myself I am Consciousness. I said that my heart space was present and open. Over and over I tried to make sense of what had happened to me.


My wife has had a medical issue for some time now. Last night my spirit must have decided to find the cause of her ailment, because when you understand the cause – as in how it got there – it cannot stay in your space as you are Love and that disharmony is not you.


As I continued to lie in bed face down in my awakened state I felt a moving organism inside of my arse. This Monster must have had an orgasm and released a replica of itself within me to grow there and make home within me.

This was the cause of my wife’s ailment, where my spirit travelled to the depths of Hell to meet this Monster and experience what it done to my wife, thus understanding the cause of her ailment.


What happens to us the slave species is scary stuff. Remember seeing years ago how these beautiful female models lay down on the deck of a yacht, where they transformed into a slug the length of their body. Then saw how they had intercourse with the unsuspecting victim, where they turned from Human form into slug form, attacked the guy to transform his frequency in a slug frequency, and so they went, where the victim now became one of them. Saw how this one guy was rescuing others in a burning building. Those trapped amongst the flames were fearful, which opened them up to be attacked by this slug Monster hiding behind Human form.


What happens out there is scary stuff, and we are all prone to it on our path to becoming the Beast.  

Why could we never rise above this nonsense? The only way for me was to pull apart the mechanisms of what we are so that we may understand ourselves. (This means you have to be honest with yourself and not lie to yourself.) From there look at the big picture and how this affected us.

For me personally, I believe that I could not accept that I am Bad. You see, I Love the animals, and they are my friends. I see their Beauty and I know for them to Love me I must be Good, so what is this Bad doing within me. That is not me. How did it get there?

If I say I am Bad, understand that I am not a Monster or a Beast. What I am is finding myself surrounded by filth, as in the cruel and the scum of the illusion. Surely that makes me Bad because I cannot break free of their proximity, so somehow I must be like them. But I cannot be, because I refuse to harm others as that is not Love.


I told you I would do everything I can to help others, but that is not practical, as nobody should ever face the Beast and the Monster.

So rise up. You were baptized to become one with Hell, and this was our curse which is now no more. Be free of Beasts and Monsters. Be amongst your own.


  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...