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Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

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The gait on the right hind leg of our dog Benji is better, but it is not right. My wife has had intermittent ear pain for the last week or so, and the pain is so bad it goes into her jaw and teeth where it feels like she has toothache.

I have done my best to help both of them, but what I have done is not enough – there is something I am missing, and for the life of me I did not know what it was.


Over the last month of so there is a mouse that has taken up shelter somewhere within our lounge. What I found strange, was that the mouse would run across the carpet towards the couch I am sitting on, and then hide somewhere under the couches. This run-for-it was done while cats and dogs were sprawling out on the carpet. It happened again last night, and I understood there was something this mouse wanted to tell me.

I am a big fan of Ted Andrews and his one book Animal Speak. Therein lies the message/medicine of the animals and what they can teach us. I looked up “mouse,” and from there I was veered to the medicine of the Weasel. According to Ted, “in the Native American tradition, the weasel has the medicine for seeking out secrets.” It was then that I understood that I needed the help of the weasel to understand what I am missing.


I went into the Blackness of the silence/stillness, where there was nothing but this state. From there I released the frequency of the weasel to seek out the secret as to what was I missing – why could I not fully help my wife and our dog? After about a minute or two the Weasel got the answer, and how it was conveyed to me was through the following: As I was in the silence my body suddenly became filled with this Disharmonious heat. I needed to find the source of the heat – where it was localized; where the primary problem was – and after a short while this heat hovered within the right ear. At first I thought there was a blockage there, but I soon understood that the right ear was the area where our body forms were infiltrated by this Disharmonious heat/frequency.  There was no blockage at the right ear – there was a breach there.


That I have little faith in my fellow species to stand up and get out of this mess we all find ourselves in is irrelevant. What matters is that we all need help.

The Dragon and Serpent children of Sophia and Semiramis are in suspended slumber. What was the cause of this – why did they fall? The simple answer is that they did not listen – specifically to their conscience/good hearts, as well as from those that knew better. The less they listened the more they became infused with Disharmony, until this state took them over and consumed them to the point where they no longer knew themselves and drifted into slumber. No doubt efforts have been made to awaken these sleeping Giants, but unless one understands the cause of a problem and where the primary location of the problem is, all you do is knock out fires as you go round and round hitting the secondary problems, rather than the primary.

The other day I saw a dog for the third time, which is unheard of for Steven. It took three sessions to understand that its nervous system was hyper-excitable due to the dogs allergic reaction to the microchip within it. The nerves were in overdrive which was causing a hyper-reaction in the muscles, which were pulling on the vertebrae causing misalignment in them, but the main complaint was the itch on the dog that resulted on it being on cortisone for over a year that literally “fried” the dogs brain.

In understanding the cause of the problem (the bodies allergic reaction to the invasive/disharmonious frequency of the microchip) the dog came right in the moment by also understanding where the primary problem was (the nervous system, as well as the first neck vertebrae’s misalignment.)


My wife saw those from the shadows before me. Every now and then she would wake up from her sleep state is an absolute frenzy telling me there was a snake or spider above her. She stopped seeing the unseen as she could not handle it.

Was her right ear pain indicative of something bigger than her that was suspended in slumber?

When I see dogs that have a hind leg gait problem, nine out of ten times the primary problem was in the neck region. The locked up state of the neck affects the gait behind, so we look to the back legs and miss the primary problem in the neck. Misalignment in the jaw affects the first vertebrae which affects the whole body. Was Benji’s problem in the jaw/ear and I was looking at the hind leg to find the answer? Wow man, I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that an onion has more than one layer. Peel away the one layer and you go deeper to find the next one.


What I am trying to say is that it is a bugger when you know nothing, and this has been my frustration over the last seven years in writing this journal: When will we know enough to be able to stand on our feet on a platform from where we may begin to walk out of Hell?

Steven needs help, but it is not just about Steven. It is about you and all those from the many worlds within Hell, and it is about the Dragon and Serpent children of Semiramis and Sophia. We are all in the shit – knee deep and sinking fast. I cannot only help myself – all need to be helped, and maybe this is why this journal is a never-ending story.


I will persevere; I will carry on, simply because I am in a place where I don’t belong. I feel like a fish out of water here, and this is because I am – this is not my Home, and I will carry on walking until I get there.

One thing is for certain: the dummy Serpent and Dragon spirits, and all of us on the etheric level have our hearing restored. Now we can listen to those that know better. For the life of us, may we do so – may we listen.

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hi Gareth


i see another member of the forum locked/blocked/stopped one of my threads on the forums topic Nature of Reality. the thread was "Understanding how those from the shadows feed from us."

is this allowed to be done? why would someone do that? the thread is from my journal that i share with the forum members.


if what i say offends then please let me know and i will stop posting on the forum.




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On 11/29/2020 at 12:40 PM, steven geldenhuys said:

We are a biological computer that has been programmed to be a food source; an emitter of energy so that those from the shadows (that we eventually also become) may feed from us.

As long as we feel that we have lessons to learn, and that we like and miss our world when we depart it, we remain in the loop of coming back (being reborn) into this frequency of planet Earth. The same is true for other species in other worlds.

When we become disillusioned and start to see through the lie, we once again Fall as there is no way out of this madness, and what I mean by this is that we lose our empathy – where we take of the energy of others to survive. This transition from “learner” and “do-gooder” to Beast is smooth and effortless, as already we the species of Hell feed from the animals and plants around us, and we destroy in the name of Survival and its close friend Greed.


I always wondered what gave these Beasts from the shadows the edge over us, where they do with us as they please, while we are a deaf and dumb paralysed mute against their cruel ways. The answer is us holding onto our beliefs, which creates the ignorance within us to what is out there and playing with us and our loved ones. The edge these Beasts have over us is that they accept what is within Hell and they make this state their own and play with it. We, on the other hand, hold onto what is Good, and we refuse to do what is bad. We are 100% correct in doing this, because what we are doing is holding onto our sanity in this awful, crazy place called Hell. We refuse to be cruel, because this is not who we are, and once again – rightly so. But, and this is a big BUT, we do not understand where we are. Knowledge is power, and the knowledge of these Beasts in knowing where they and we are, gives them the power over us.

We are in Hell boys and girls – we don’t know it, but these Beasts do, and this knowledge releases their inhibitions to embrace Hell and all that it offers. This broadening of their horizons opens them up to possibilities and strengths compared to us that hold onto our righteousness in a place where love brings primarily sorrow rather than joy.

Note that I say they have “knowledge,” compared to understanding. With knowledge you see the tree; with understanding you see the forest. The loss of empathy is the beginning of the end in terms of us destroying ourselves as all basic, common sense and reason is lost. We become stupid in the sense that we become insane, and one moment we are in bliss taking and doing what we want because we can, and the next we complete our final Fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten, where we forget the Love within ourselves – what we are at our core.


There is something “bigger” than us, but this is not what many would call a God. It is a state of beauty that fills everything and encompasses everything. My children are not lesser than me – I would say they are their own individuals that stay in the same space as me. I am not “bigger” than them, just as what is “bigger” than all of us does not see itself in this light. Love is Love. There is no hierarchy or reverence in Love – it merely is, and it is beautiful in a way that words or the imagination cannot describe.  


The way out of this mess is to know what we are, so that from this foundation we may be one with this Love – the fields of Infinite Love.

We are a manufactured biological computer. Take my word for it when I say that a God – any God, would not create such a fragile piece of shit like us that has to destroy to survive. We have been manufactured within the realm of Hell, and as I have said before in the journal, I have been to these “laboratories” where Life-forms are made. The core of these Life-forms and Life itself is the strand of Love, and these celestial geneticists knew that in our quest to survive to meet another day the last thing we would look for is the Love within. We look without to survive – not within, and we live for the present and prepare for the future, rather than trace our steps backwards to understand how we got into this mess. It’s a Game called “go, go, go.”


This Love; this space of beauty is everywhere as it is everything. That we were manufactured by celestial geneticists to keep the Fallen Angels alive as their food source places us on a massive back-foot in terms of getting out of this mess. We are a raw, manufactured slate, which makes us absorb all the lies that come our way. We make these lies our own, and this gives us our personality and genetic traits, but my goodness me, have we ever taken a step back to look beyond ourselves?

Through seeing these Beasts in my sleep state practically every night for almost seven years now, I have come to understand Hell and its cruel ways. Through seeing these Beasts, I see what I don’t want to be, and as so many of my fellow species are like these Beasts, I shun those within our world as well as those from the shadows. They disgust me, because they go against everything that should be, which is laughter, joy, peace and innocence. The mistake I made was to not hold onto anything or anyone as I wanted no part of this mad world. I did not care to understand others, and the backlash of this is that I never got to understand myself.

In seeing Beasts through my Third Eye I was forced to see and understand myself so that I may not become like them, and most importantly, end up where they all end up.


You are a biological computer. To get an “upgrade,” you do the following:

·        First and foremost you must wish to be upgraded more than anything, as you understand that you are in a place where you don’t belong, and what you are is not what you are meant to be, as your essence is Love and nothing else.

·        Then be this Love that is everywhere by understanding it is there, and understanding that this is who and what you are. This Love becomes the core within you the biological computer.

·        Within the Game; the illusion, everything is energy/particles vibrating. Trust me when I say that these particles are not good for you, as they keep you dependent or suppressed with Hell. I make this statement as these particles are made within Hell for Hell, and not to set you free from this place. Understand that the core essence of Love that is within you allows you the biological Human body computer to play independently within this Game. In other words you are in the Game but not a part thereof. The first thing you play with is the particles/energy of Hell, as these particles make us some really cruel Beasts – in the seen and unseen worlds of Hell.  You play with these disharmonious particle/energy forms that contribute to Life and make up Life by not allowing them into your existence. All that you encompass (you, your Life and those you love) as well as all that encompasses you (the unseen) are shielded from this disharmonious energy/particles of Hell.  This is done because our time here is short, thus we don’t wish to fight off the seen and unseen nonsense within and around our forms. We choose to become a transmitter of Love and joy rather than a receiver to disharmony.

·        With the shield to disharmony up, now you are in a position to play with the frequencies in Hell. From your core state of Love, you wish for – you draw to you what would make your happy. Everybody would wish for money, as without money one cannot do much here, but as we all know, having money for the sake of having money does not bring happiness. (What brings happiness in our world is communication, where we share our lives with others. The joy of being in the presence of something that warms your biological heart energy field is what makes one happy, be it a person, animal, or nature.) So if you need a car to get somewhere as walking there takes up most of your time during the day, then go into the space of your silence and imagine the car you have in mind to buy. The car is not to show off, but to make Life more practical and comfortable. The frequency of the car now becomes yours – it is a part of you and will manifest within your existence. But before this happens, we need to go one step back: To manifest the car in your space you need to go into the showroom and buy the car – with money. So what you do is imagine someone you have heard about who has limitless money. Money is not important to these people as it is as limitless as the air they breathe, and this state has a specific frequency to it. You draw on this frequency that is around this person and you make it your own. Now the money will come to buy the car to make your Life more comfortable. My advice is draw frequencies to you that will allow you to lead a full life. Become an inspiration to yourself and to others. Be humble; be simple; keep your feet on the ground, by my goodness me – live a full life. One of the frequencies I drew to myself was of a well-known adventurer and traveller. I do not wish his life, as I have my own to lead, but what I am thankful for is sharing their frequency that they have created so that adventure and travel may come my way. This frequency I could have created myself as I wish for it from my core state of Love, but having a frequency that has “been-there-done-that” the experiences will manifest faster within my reality. Understand that we are not grabbers by taking on the frequencies of others. I promise you that when a frequency is taken/duplicated from a Life-force, one is given from you as well – if anything, it is your core Love. We are all in this mess together, and what makes one happy is communication, which is a mutual sharing because we can; because it makes us happy.

·        Next is to lose your biological identity – that form that is you and was molded by the greater or lesser extent that you held onto your empathy – the strand of Love within around which you were manufactured. This step is to prepare for the departure of our biological computer body form, as well as to open ourselves up to the wonders of the seen and the unseen while we are still within our planets frequency. Get in the habit of ignoring your thoughts so that spontaneity may come to the fore rather than predictable outcomes. What you wish for; the frequency you duplicate from others is a given – it is there, but now we need to get on with living Life. So we have to break the old mould so that the new may flood in. Ignore the predictable, routine thoughts, as well as the emotions of what makes us sad or happy. (Remember, this is to break the old you.) And lastly – and this is a tough one to understand – let go of everything you love. What we would call “love” has many definitions, but the general outcome is sorrow and heartache as this love is so disappointing, as we never knew who we are and from where we arose, which is a place called Hell. As you begin to depart this biological body computer, or decide to open yourself up to the wonders of what is, allow this Love that has become your known core to take you over. This Love, and you, as it is you, returns to the fields of Infinite Love where we belong. We are now Home and we stay there.



may i suggest that you look up matthew  matthew delooze´s stuff, he might point you into the right direction. I strongly reccmend you read this free articel of his The Greatest Spiritual Energy Extraction Scam of the 20th Century By Matthew Delooze (1library.co) (worth the loading time) 


there is an cosmic democracy at play and they con us to willingly vote them as rulers over  us by ironically manipulate our collective subconsiousness to uphold  that narrative  trough our own free will worhsip  towards them.  and they need to renew their ownership  over the collective human soul hence we are conned to to participate in certain rituals that allows them to do so. if we stop cooperating with thier rituals they can not enter our world much less feed of our energy.  please read the article if you have time bud  its highly insightful .

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22 hours ago, steven geldenhuys said:

hi Gareth


i see another member of the forum locked/blocked/stopped one of my threads on the forums topic Nature of Reality. the thread was "Understanding how those from the shadows feed from us."

is this allowed to be done? why would someone do that? the thread is from my journal that i share with the forum members.


if what i say offends then please let me know and i will stop posting on the forum.




sorry bad link in prior post.. heres a good link diana energy extraction scam.docx | DocDroid

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for another force to slaughter us and feed  upon us we (humans)  have to first  feed upon other lifeforms on earth  , or else its a universal karmic breach , we feed on lesser lifeforms so that enables the serpent cult to feed upon us  - moreover we declare them sinless so  we basically  make sure that they recieve no karmic retribution . we must first   do to ourselves what others from another dimension wants to do to us or else they cannot - so they manipulate us into being miniature version of themselves, its cosmic law.

Edited by loady
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You fly too close to the sun and you get burnt.

You are too close to the unseen, and what affects them affects you.


When the Dragon and Serpent spirits became strongly influenced by the parasitic frequency of Deception within, they needed justification for their new state of “I will take – because it is mine!” So they saw what they wanted to see. They never saw the truth. They never saw what was staring them in the face. They never saw what they were becoming – which was bloody fucking fools.


Understand that we see what we want to see, and we hear what we want to hear. Anything off centre and it rocks the boat, forcing us to have to look at ourselves. We become cowards, pointing fingers and blaming others – we do anything that will take the focus of attention away from us, because deep down we know that something is wrong with us, and being the cowards that we have become, we refuse to clean up shop and get our lives back in order.

And all we do is delay the inevitable. We live a cowardly, foolish life always side-stepping opportunities to get to know ourselves. Shame, we become babies, where we become dependent on a good fight to lift our spirits and give meaning to our existence.


What the babies don’t understand is that Love is bigger than them and their game of being nasty. At any moment they can turn around and say “I now choose to be kind,” and in that moment the baby is no more. My advice is grow up now – don’t let Life show you how, because that is normally ugly. You don’t want to be pulled through the mud so that you can learn to see the sunshine.

We need to once again listen to our good hearts, and from there we need to express our good hearts. The favorite saying of my twelve year old daughter is: “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”


Shame on you and me. Why is it so difficult for us to be kind? Shame on the children of Semiramis and Sophia. Shame on the Beasts from the shadows, and those cruel beasts I am ashamed to call my fellow species.

We have all shamed ourselves. Been there, done that – got the T-shirt. Now let’s move on.


Now the fuzziness within my daughters eyes will disappear. Now the Dragon and Serpent children will see what is there, and from there they will move on, as Love is bigger than all this mess. By saying sorry to ourselves we forgive ourselves and we move on. This shift has to happen sooner or later, so let it happen now.

And to those that are just good and kind because they can be, may the children of the Creator look to you for what they should be. Bless you all, and thank you for your kindness.

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posted a summary of  my limited interpretation of matts work, some which are my own conjecture  mingled with his theories. due to the vanishing of my older posts i thought it would be good to have it reposted... 



You could say that we are fooled(trough rituals) to adhere to a mandalauniverse of sort were all Components of it are emantion aspects of a primordeal gods spirits, fist i want to emphasize that planets symbolise gods and not the other way around. secondly planets were only one aspect of many diffrent archetyphical energy aspects of the "gods" these planets and thier influence appear as imprisoning energies for the normal bloke but they could be altered and even destroyed by one of the higher microcosmic bodies of god "which are connected to mystery rites" for alchemical purposes. these iconic mystery bodies of god that is put in use in mystery schools are all a programmed insertions within the collective consiousness of mankind - for normal folks they lie latent as inactive - but for the one who has activated one of the many "higher ranked" mystical bodies of gods - they are used to rule over time. and the god use these as he pleases to exert influence in accordance to a prefixed timewheel that is ever cyclical. its also important to realise that we are dealing with an "superego" or various levels of the reptilian spirit that expresses itself in forms of multitude trough the iconic and codified god dresses of the world.


the androgynous being  dresses itself in all of them!!!so we have a world dictarship instead of a free world. you could say that these planets are lesser gods that functions as cog wheels inside a massive time machine which fate lies in the hands of the clock turner. being subservient to astrology and planets are no diffrent than being subservient to religion - becuse both feed the clock turner just the same. you can blame the universe for not giving you truth in your lead up quest to find the truth but you cant blame the universe if you fail to acknowledge it once it has been given you...and it doesnt matter if your an initiate or not everyone is entitled to it if there heart reallly wants it. one thing people need to grasp in the nwo agenda. is that the nwo is just an regurgitation of the old World order.

becuse the same powerful people are involved today as they were thousand of years ago trough reincarnation. our current timecycle will mark the events that will either enslave mankind forever or it will be the only window of escape out of the matrix. only the individual can decide what it wants to harvest. becuse tptb has implemented a system that will ensure total entrappment for those who give away thier free will towards thier sacred geometry,symbolism and the rituals .all the Worlds energy lines will link up with thier monuments and geometry structures and it will build a World energy center were all our energy are constantly being siphoned off by being recycled. Another scenario is humans total surrender by accepting to be branded with a microchip.....

the mass human collective creates thier reality trough thier subconsiousness thoughts.

• Whenever you observe or think or feel your soul release an energy that acts as a tool of creation. You can´t see this energy at work, because we´ve been programmed to not decode it, it works just like our money currency. You pick a thing you want to buy then you pay for it, this energy is symbolic for your spiritual approval. Thus anything you direct your energy at will have your manifestation approval.

What the entities from a another dimension has done is to design an con trick to lure us into worshipping them, They have done exactly that by cultivating us since the dawn of the civilization, they create symbolism and sacred geometry and then proceed to put it in our world…THEY HAVE MAID SURE THAT ANYTING YOU DIRECT YOU ATTENTION AT bares their symbolism…from the designs of buildings to giving celebrities occult names so they transforms into portable occult deities. Imagine that we are dealing with a magician who are hypnotizing us and con us to direct our energy on symbols and geometry …to gain all our energy they would have to infest all directions of our life´s doings…be it religion,sex, education,government,sports and so on and so forth, Everything we do is initially connected to esoteric symbolism. So we end up giving them all of our energy that they can use to enslave us because of our ignorance of the consequences of taking the oaths/rituals.

try to liken the universe with all its inherent energies and potenials expressions as a fully painted painting signed with the initials of the human race. then try to imagine a cunnig force force erasing the intials of the human race and putting its own intials on the painting by proclaiming it as such to the majority of the collective consiousness – thus all energy that humans emit goes to them , becuse our subconsiousness interept it as they are the creators of of Everything in motion including us. they get us to Think them up as our creators . its the greatest con ever invented. our subconsiounsess our manipulated to create a reality script that supports then as rulers over us.

what i have written above is the reason for the construct of alpha and omega

hence the the begining of time with the dinsouars as the first offical inhabitants of planet Earth….. the first genesis etc…

the archetype of a seprent Earth goddes wouldnt works wouldnt work if man came beefore it

we created a mean to travel interdimensionally trough our thoughts , we thought up the means to enter planet earth and we thought up a means to exit planet Earth to return were we orgiginally came from. the frausters has hijacked those means so it leads us to their dimensions upon Death instead of home, from there we are recycled to Earth unless youre a high intiate , who exists in some of thier higher realms.

“If the collective subconscious human mind does create the physical reality of the human race, which I believe it does, and symbols trigger and affect the collective subconscious, then it is surely the truth and nothing but truth, that whomever controls the act of locating and the displaying of symbols on this planet not only controls our lives, it controls our entire spiritual destiny”. Matthew Delooze 20/01/12” and please do not mistake those higher realms low level stuff as shamballa or the new jersulaem messiah concept here which are only permanent in a cyclical way for those gaining admission to it.

the World is on the brink of destruction, yet some people Think people are awakening. a third of the World is starving and Another of the third lives poorly. if you are falling for the idea that we are more enlightend than we ever were and that we are progressing at an ever increasing rate then think again becuse the the decepetive forces have even higher technology and they both to maximaze their enslavement over us by putting them together.

if you have windows 10 then you have to buy a new computer to run it yes?

our outdated technology has to be updated when deceptive forces update thier own technology or else they wouldt be compatible with eachother…

Thinks are only getting worse…. some forces are trying to change it. but they can only help people who wants help for reasons tied to free will.

the mystery schools intiate individuals so that the parasitic force can exert its influence on our realms without getting exposed for what it is. it can not show itself in its true image becuse we would not worship it if it did. so it uses middlle man in form of the initated man. that said it does not matter if you are an intiated man or not , every one deserves to be free. its just that its more often than not a bit harder for the intiated man becuse the serpents spirit has posseses his heart so his emotions are subdued in really investing in the truths that can set himself free. that said its not impossible. its just harder. the controllers are just like us spirit energy but they express themselves in the form of reptilies becuse that is their collective image id so to speak - that said they can take any form they want. they have convinced us that they are more powerful than us but that is only becuse we give away our own power to them.


when the serpent first decided to hijack the collective consiousness of the human race it wanted to associate itself with a thing that everyone would love and at the same time something  that would give them a veil of clothing so it used the sun for that purpose.


but the sun has been laddned with other symbolism which represents the serpent

on  simple level its just as matthew explains something to the effect that if you paint a painting and decide to place it in a museum the energy that is directed at the painting does not go to the painting but the creators of the painting - its the same with the intiate man in a way becuse they were created in the image of the gods and after thier likeness.


Imagine that all of existence is in a timeless and everlasting computer of consiousness where all potenssials in the existence resides .Now imagine that in one potensial expression within all others -allows that allknowing consiousness to defragment itself into compartilized pecies that can forget all other potensials.these limited potentials are connected to the main computer (the allknowing state where theres nothing outside of you that is not a part of you) trough internet cables which allows the main computer to filter the allknowing potentials going into the cables and reaching the smaller computers/defragmentions=which constitutes the collective id and the cosmic laws..and from there imagine those defragments splitting into even lesser ones which constitutes the souls or ip adress of each indivudals. All-knowing computer-collective id-ip id (there are many cables with diffrent lesser computers that splits and consitutes diffrent collective gruops(diffrent interminesional races)




continued...As far as the reptilians are concerned...

Is it possible prior to the manipulation that a portal linking all multidimensions was open. If that was ever the case consider that some beings inhabitating a dimension with high awareness decided to imprison beings which in that particular time just happend to experience life in a lower dimension.

So imagine the aliens somehow designed a plan which function would serve to disconnect the human beings from accesing the portal and that they where succesful. these reptilians presented us with scriptures that fooled us to believe that reptilians created us and the solar system and becuse they appeared in superious form we had no other choose than to accept their version of events as being true. Could it be that due to some univeral laws that has to be followed like for example the "the law of free will" which is essential to any creation process.

They Had to implant those ideas as being true in our collective subconsiousness in order to align our hive mind to their creation script and create the outcome of what the scriptures describe. Only when the scriptures was accepted in the majority of the collective subconsiousness did we manifest the reality according the scriptures in which they where the rulers over us.

Could that explain why they are not walking on planet earth since they wouldnt get our free will if they ruled us by force?

Could that be the case why they formed a brotherhood between them and a few selected bloodlines which carried out the manipulation on thier behalf

Could that be the case why we are fooled to participate in rituals disguised as everday events- becuse they need to renew their contract ownership over our souls continously

or in matts simple allegory

"The best way to explain this "disconnection" is to

imagine every person on this planet is a PC connected

to a very large (main) computer (all knowing

knowledge-love) via telephone cables, like the Internet.

A "virus" that has disconnected from the larger
computer wants to take over all the PCs on the planet

for its own use. To do this it has to cut all the

telephone cables to the main computer. The virus

realises that the PCs will know they have been

disconnected when the cables are cut so the virus

devises a plan to connect the PCs to another

computer, deceiving them into believing they have not

been disconnected at all. All goes to plan but a few PCs

realise they are not accessing the all-knowing

knowledge they once had access to. The virus knows

this and causes the PCs that know their connections

are faulty to breakdown and enter the PC "repair

shop." The PC is "repaired" and no longer realise

that it is not accessing the all-knowing knowledge

throug its own ignorance and accepts the computer

the virus connected it to instead..

In other words kidnapped victims are disconnected from their

spiritual information because they are capable of creating the "anti

virus" information that will reconnect all others to the truth instead

of to the false information provided by the virus. A sort of super

powered virus free internet (paradise on earth) can be created if

enough people (PCs) can be reconnected to the one (main

computer) again.

By saying only certain "spiritually aware" people are kidnappe
by negative aliens does not mean that people who are not

kidnapped, or have no recollection of being taken, are not

spiritually aware. We all have equal spiritual awareness. We are all

one consciousness. It is just that spiritual awareness can be blocked

more easily in some than others. (The virus takes over some PCs

quicker and is more effective in some than in others).

Let us try and imagine that some people (or PCs) get connected

to the one true consciousness (main computer). The news is so
fantastic that it needs spreading round the world. The other people

(or PCs) laugh because the world knowledge (virus) has loaded

their memory with lies (false programming). In our case the virus is

negative aliens (inter-dimensional and extraterrestrial) and their

agents on Earth.

If you can understand that the negative aliens want to stop all

people who are capable of connecting to higher levels of spiritual

information then maybe you can also understand why they are

kidnapped and subjected to the blocking of the awareness they

have or capable of accessing"

there he also goes into the subject of Alien abductions. many abductess are fooled to accept a half breed consiting of both Alien and human seed. the Alien copulates with the victim trough mind Control and later shows up a baby to thier victim that is part reptilian and part human this is strictly mind Control and symbolical, becuse the serpent are showing that it has the Power to breed mankind, if the abductee victim accepts the Child as hers and bond with it - it enables the serpent not only to Control the victims lifeforce but his or hers entire bloodline!



it has been inprinted in collective consiousness of mankind that the sun god created himself out of the watery chaos. the watery chaos was the source of the sun god and it was always personified as the serpent and the underworld in all religions that has been previously accepted and imbedded onto the majority of minds within collective consiousnesss.

worship a creation equals worshipping the creators of a creation in other words worship the sun - worship the the serpents who are symbolically responsible for controlling the archetype of creation and thus creation mirrors what the serpent wants creation to be rather than how we want it to be.

we have put the the serpent as our gods in our heavens ( our symbolic archetype that registers our thoughts) we have also put the the serpents geometry and symbolism in our earth - so heaven and earth does as the serpent wants it do instead of doing what we want it it do

the serpent has also hijacked the living elements to do its bidding -

however the serpent is not and will never be my god

but one day when the elements are purified from the putrid stench of the reptile and its whole system body of creation - it will act as a host for the incarnation of the forces that acts beyond the the matrix worlds that consists of the middle worlds, the heavens and the underworlds.

the purifed elements with the real spirits of the truths (not the ones of the bible) will utterly shatter new jersulem one day.


what will the liers of this World do then eh?

and where are does people that have built a temple of
dwelling in their hearts to host this deceptive serpent spirit that disguise itslef as light

some of these people dare to say they want truth , yet they dare not to speak about what they see as their version of truth to others.

they believe in hiding thier truths (which are really lies)

in their hearts as they believe they belong to an enlightened click who will recieve an permanent dwelling trough a mystical union in the future...

good luck with building your new jersulames...but dont

get sad when it gets destroyed - i mean afterall it is a very cheap price to pay in juxtaposition to the horrendeous miserous and terror that this light force has inflicted upon mankind troughout the ages.

to you i say as you do unto others - others will do to you.

as you hide what you see as truth - will enable worhty forces otuside the matrix to hide the truth from you.

one last thing about this new World order agenda. there exists many diffrent god Icons or dresses. yahwe, allah, buddah jesus etc... but its the same force underneath them that dress in them all.

intitaties can also be laddenend with the reptilian spirit that works trough them so they becomme a peice of portable symbolism that represents the serpents Creations. in all mystery schools you had to die a symbolic Death to be reborned- there are many reasons for this but no one will tell you that they main reason for this is erasing the indiviudals own history and identity so a superego can take its Place¨for the purpose of energy theft .

becuse the individual has made the ulltimate sacrifice as stupid as it is it can never recieve energy on its own behalf- becuse the individual are not thier to act as a container for the energy someone directs at it - it has killed it self - it goes to the superego that has written over the individual

how you going to let people fight with eachother if they all worship the s

so they create many "diffrent" gods so mankind can fight for those in the battlefields and in so doing they release the energy of conflict that the serpent likes to feed upon the most!!!

the parasitic force has taken advantage of it to the very last drop


we are not computer programs. we are omnipotent and omnipresent behind the layers of of multidimensonell hypnosis that currently engulfes us. when we set ourselves free all our powers will return to us,simply becuse all powers are already within us they just need accesing.



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btw matthew delooze has mentioned that the time is nearly upon us when the serpent wont require our free will to maintain their enslavement over us , when that day comes (hopefully not) the reptilians will openely reveal themselves in our dimension as masters of the human race, they will proceed to openly slaughter people on the streets  in broad daylight   in a similiar fashion  to what went  on during biblical times when the israelite kings sacrificed babies  by trowing them in fires in honour of bal moloch 

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@steven geldenhuys

I am reading this thread **slowly**,  necessarily, as life don't allow me luxuries to wallow online this year,, but as I do read I'm taking it as it is for the most, appreciating the narrative (as narratives take time) yet not going at it like as if reading a book exactly :) .. And in a semi-detached or perhaps objective reasoning way (sometimes I better do this way to not become energetically attached to something and also don't fry my mind), as first of all I don't know you Steve, but there's no problem in that, and btw if that thread of yours like this one which got stopped or somesuch, if anything like this one I can't see the harm if you speak as well as you do in this one...  


Anyway, yes, keep going towards the path out of hell of course... Seems you have good facets and strategies in dealing with the ugliness of life and  parasites or however you would term it. "Dog eat dog"  as most people know it. Except of course the 'illuminati'  etc take parasitoc behaviour to extremes.


Incidently~ All the best to your familiars, like ur 4×legged friend btw as the literal non human dog, mans best friend, as you are being friend to it and helping heal to the best of your abilities.  


I admire your strength or courage or simply your steady focus on keeping evil in check. Many of us 'mere mortals' as we call ourselves you know have more power than we might credit ourselves with, its true. Juat gotta learn to be kind and fear less... Cheers! 

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@loady.... Good job you posted some of that stuff here as just how big is the DLoad using the link? I have memory concerns based on my current phone, thats the only reason I say/ask. Thanks anyway, worth a look sometime as you suggest.. 

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This morning I woke up early, so I lay in bed and went into the stillness of the Blackness that makes up the space I call Love. Into this space I brought the dogs that I worked on yesterday to see how they were keeping. Then I brought another dog friend in, and so it went that all were brought into this space of Love, including those from the shadows who lie and kill and suppress to keep their pathetic, wasteful existence alive. All were within this space called Love – that something that is bigger than all of us.

In my world there is no division and separation.

When you make gnocchi you place the potato dumplings into a pot of hot water. When the dumplings are right, they rise to the surface and you scoop them out the pot. When we are ready to return Home, we will rise and begin the journey. Keep your house clean; keep your life clean; do your part to be kind, and then go Home if you choose. You walk in Love, in this dimension and others, and as you are rising, those at the bottom of the pot cannot touch you. This makes Life easier – much easier.


We must all be cursed to have been dumped into such a cruel existence. Maybe this curse is part and parcel of our branding. Regardless, our curse is broken now. So be it.


Take care, and all the best.


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(Apologies. here is the full text i wanted to post. may it be my last.)


From the very start it was understood that there can never be a “them versus us.” In the Oneness within the fields of Infinite Love we are all just what we are, which is Love.

Now do you understand how low we have fallen – where we hate and kill, just because we can.

For those of my clients that are interested, I teach them everything I know. When I talk to them I can feel the wall of separation between me and them. This wall is built through the jealousy that this person to whom I am teaching everything I know has for me. This wall of Jealousy blocks them and keeps them cruel and primitive.

Now do you understand how low we have fallen?


This morning I woke up early, so I lay in bed and went into the stillness of the Blackness that makes up the space I call Love. Into this space I brought the dogs that I worked on yesterday to see how they were keeping. Then I brought another dog friend in, and so it went that all were brought into this space of Love, including those from the shadows who lie and kill and suppress to keep their pathetic, wasteful existence alive. All were within this space called Love – that something that is bigger than all of us.

In my world there is no division and separation.

When you make gnocchi you place the potato dumplings into a pot of hot water. When the dumplings are right, they rise to the surface and you scoop them out the pot. When we are ready to return Home, we will rise and begin the journey. Keep your house clean; keep your life clean; do your part to be kind, and then go Home if you choose. You walk in Love, in this dimension and others, and as you are rising, those at the bottom of the pot cannot touch you. This makes Life easier – much easier.


We must all be cursed to have been dumped into such a cruel existence. Maybe this curse is part and parcel of our branding. Regardless, our curse is broken now. So be it.


Take care, and all the best.


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On 4/6/2021 at 12:32 PM, steven geldenhuys said:

hi Gareth


i see another member of the forum locked/blocked/stopped one of my threads on the forums topic Nature of Reality. the thread was "Understanding how those from the shadows feed from us."

is this allowed to be done? why would someone do that? the thread is from my journal that i share with the forum members.


if what i say offends then please let me know and i will stop posting on the forum.






It's still 'here', but locked:


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To rise above this Game, we need to know the Game.

On the one side, there is hatred, anger, cruelty, jealousy etc. – all those states we can cluster together and define as ignorance. Ignorance, because if you know that whatever you do comes back to you, you will treat others, and ultimately yourself, kinder.

On the other side is love. This puts a smile on our face and makes our hearts feel warm. It elevates us above the mediocre, as we are filled with this wonderful energy that puts a skip in our step.


Both states, ignorance and love, are part and parcel of the Game. The love that I have for my children and the animals is immense, but this means nothing – on the contrary, this love keeps me within the Game. Our good hearts make this world a better place for all to live in, and if everyone was kind, I would gladly take this adoptive frequency/world as my home, but something would eventually give, as we are all living on borrowed time, as this is not where we belong.


We cannot go between these state and be indifferent to all. We need to understand that there is something bigger than us, and what this is, is not love as we would know it. What this state is I do not know, but I will find it and make it my own.

10:27 on 9th April, 2021.


What if we saw this horror story called Life for what it really is, which is an illusionary state? Would we then not be in the Game, but in the state we naturally should be? Mystics will tell us there is no heartache and suffering, and we will know that this is nonsense. But from what angle are you seeing the picture – do we see the story as an illusion, or do we understand there is something beyond the illusion?

Will live in an illusionary realm, so the mystics are correct, as if you take away the illusion and the heartache and sorrow that plays out therein, you will understand that there is only Oneness, and in this state there is no sorrow.


Surely then, the answer must be to see this realm called Hell for what it really is, which is an illusion. When we understand that what we are seeing is not real – it is only a trap to draw us in so that we may play therein, then surely we become detached from these states of love and ignorance, and we are just what we are?


Now the question is this: Are you brave enough to let go of everything you have ever known? Are you brave enough to depart the illusion and step into a state that the strand within has forgotten?

If your answer is yes, then ask the strand within to remember what it has forgotten so that it may be what it is, and from there, you the biological computer and all those within and without you – you all hold on tight and enjoy the ride.


I choose to let go of the illusion.

If I lived in a castle and had unlimited wealth, I would still choose to be free of the illusion, because my castle is a castle in the sky – it is not real; it is an illusion.

I am not afraid of dying – in the literal or figurative sense, as I know we are all the living dead. We are tossed in a sea of Chaos, hoping to find our footing as Life plays with us. For me, this is not fun. I can wash ashore and build my castle, but what then? When is everything enough? What would you define as “peace?” How can you be at peace when the innocent are being destroyed to the point where they become the insane and cross over to become cruel Beasts? What fun is there in your existence; your illusion, as the innocent experience indescribable cruelty? We honestly don’t know, as either we are the ones being cruel, or we are the ones battling to stay alive as the madness/insanity unfolds around us every second of every day.

We hold on to what we are, which is this love, as this is the right thing to do, as we would like others to treat us as we treat them. How brave and courageous we are. They built us well. But this love within us is to counter the madness so that the Game may be kept in equilibrium. This love was built into our forms.


Years back when I began to see the unseen, I came to view these pathetic creatures as most unsavory. Then one night as I woke up to see who had just implanted the dream/story, I saw this young boy taking of my energy and eating from it. Then he took a handful of my energy and fed it to his pet lizard. I saw the love in that child’s eyes for his pet lizard, and in that moment I understood that those from the shadows love, just as we do.

Our love is all the same – it is a manufactured state, and boy – at the best of times it can hurt like hell.


The love that I talk about that is bigger than all of us, this is the manufactured love experienced at a higher altitude – it is felt on a less dense plane within Hell, and thus feels glorious and euphoric. But once again, we are merely within the Game – just on a different level.


Let’s see what happens when me and those within and without me just let go of the illusion so that what the strand forgot may come to the fore and engulf the strand, and ultimately us.

11:25 9/04/2021.


Around the strand they built us. Around the essence of the Creator they built a flaw. Anything we said or done, either intentional or unintentional, we were merciless towards ourselves. Put another way: anything off centre and we shamed ourselves, as now we had shamed others. We cursed ourselves, promising ourselves we will stay put until we can one day make amends to the infractions we inflicted upon others.

Well guess what: this “I hate myself and am so confused” is part of our manufactured package. The cosmic geneticists knew that building a form in an unnatural state called Hell and placing this component with the strand of Oneness would be a disaster for the manufactured model, as it could never keep up with the natural as it existed within the unnatural.


This shaming and guilt and curse nonsense is removed from our forms so that we may be free of the prison we created for ourselves. We are wiser to the trap the cosmic geneticists made us fall into so that a never ending cycle of birth and death may follow the astral form, as well as the Serpent soul.


So what did the strand within forget – what did ultimately all of us forget?

To find the answer to that, I step aside in my entirety to allow the Husky dog called Rocky to inform us.


It cannot be described. At the throat area begins a flow of energy from the strand. It merely is. The strand forgot nothing. It was us who forgot that we are this strand, and thus never allowed it to shine. Maybe it did always shine – maybe we just never looked, as we were infatuated with the illusion. Maybe we had to let go of the illusion and our self-limitations to look past our noses as to what we are.

We are the strand of the Creator. This is what it is.

Now let it be.


Thank you my friend. Thanks Rocky.

12:11 9/04/2021


To be one with the Infinite, one has to be the Infinite. This is where the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness comes in, as this is what you are. By you remembering what you are, you start to become infused with the fields of Infinite Love.

15:24 9/04/2021

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We are locked into a system, and how the process works is that we interact with the simulation – the illusion. To survive in this illusionary frequency we need to play in the Game, and please understand that this is what we were manufactured to do – to be a player in an illusionary game.

Over the last few years I have done everything I can to unplug us from this Game, but nothing will work until we stop reacting to the stimulus/thoughts within our heads, as well as the chaos around us that circumvents the planet and touches the other frequencies/worlds within Hell.

Put simply: the cosmic geneticists done a good job to keep us locked into the System, all the while emitting maximum disharmonious energy.


I have always maintained that there must be an easy way out of Hell, as what we truly are is natural, compared to this unnatural disharmonious state we find ourselves in.

Was I over-optimistic and ignorant in saying this, or did I underestimate how fucked up we all are? I am not knocking my species, as I think I am beyond the disappointment. Maybe I am just disheartened because maybe we don’t try hard enough to stand together and do what is best for all. To be kind and considerate will go a long way to transforming this frequency, and I suppose it starts with me and you. To wait for others to follow suit will keep me here for a long time, and why this is so is the one thing I will never truly understand. So I need a way to stop reacting to my thoughts, and hopefully this will elevate one above the chaos.


Over the last few days when I enter the silence I see these masses of Black energy shifting away from each other. This is the shift from the simulation Game.

Last night when there was a thought in my head, I was separate from the thought – I did not react to it and thus did not make it my own.

What gets my balls in a knot, is will there ever be Divine intervention – will there ever be a helping hand? How insignificant we are to the Infinite, and is it that we have to first know ourselves and where we are before we understand that we don’t like it here, nor do we belong here. Is this realization needed before we receive the helping hand?


Was this the effortless, easy way out of Hell that I always knew to be – where we are picked up and carried Home by the Infinite? How easy it would be for the Infinite to awaken the Dragon and Serpent spirits, as well as to bail Sophia and Semiramis out of this mess. In the moment it is done, but as I said, do we first have to see where we are before we know where we want to go?

The answer to this dilemma is that many like it here. These cruel fuckers from the shadows that were once also the innocent enjoy implanting dreams within us or possessing us. But this too does not make sense, as when is enough enough? How long can you carry on being nasty until you understand that destroying others, and inadvertently yourself, is not fun?

Since August, 2020 I have been posting on the forum on David Ickes website. What I have encountered within this forum on one of the world’s leading “I know what is happening out there” experts is scary stuff. There is an evil there that I have not even seen within the shadows. (This is not true. The Pharaoh’s had/have a worm entity that is so powerful it has to be kept confined, otherwise it destroyed all.) I wonder how this evil came to be around such a wonderful man. This is the reality of Life in Hell – that evil is everywhere.

The point to make, is what will happen when Divine intervention shows its helping hand? Will it be chopped off, or will it be embraced? For me, it’s the former. How many are so busy being nasty or trying to figure out who they are that they will not see what is staring them in the face? And let’s not forget about Steven. He is so engulfed with the reality of what is out there, could he comprehend a Life where people are just people – where they are just kind because this is who and what they are? Of course, there are many like this, but the ones that are bad are really bad – and in truth, unnecessary. These bullies take over because the kind do not have it in them to fight – they will not lower themselves to the level of these scum.


Will Divine intervention ever come? Will Steven ever see beings of Love in his sleep state? Has Divine intervention come over the last few thousands of years so that all those within Hell may return Home?

I have always said that if I had to wait for Divine help, then I am going to wait a long time. I have to get off my arse and do what has not been done in the past – I need to see the unseen so I may understand this Game of Life.

I promise you, I understand enough. I promise you, I have done my part to help all – the good, the bad, and the ugly. I promise you, I will embrace Divine intervention when it shows itself.

So what else is there for Steven to do?

For me, Divine intervention has come through the spirit of the animals and what they taught us. Currently the spirit of the black panther is with us, and what this spirit does is help us reclaim our true power, which for me is the awakening of the strand of the Creator within us.


Sounds wonderful stuff, but while we are within the illusion we need help. That others are being slaughtered, shamed and abused is not allowed – regardless of the fact that we are in an illusion, and what we are experiencing is an illusion. Fair enough, the chair I am sitting on is not real, but as long as I am still within the illusion the Divine can help us.

This journal has always worked on true fronts: one, where we are happy and content within the illusion, and the other is that while we are here within the illusion our path is being opened to return Home to the Infinite where all belong.


When will the words stop and the living start? Yes, yes, yes, I am being most unthankful. Divine intervention has come through what the animals taught us, and for this I am thankful. Surely we have enough of the ingredients to start cooking – to start living as we should, where is no such thing as Disharmony.

What do I still need to do and say before I see Divine beings in my sleep and awakened state?

I will stop pushing and ploughing. I will stop to smell the roses. Maybe we passed the finish line a long time ago. Maybe we never sat back to see what Life offered us.


When is enough searching enough my friends? When do we stand back and see what the Divine has to offer?

I would say now.

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To find your peace within this illusionary game called Life on planet Earth, you need to understand you are playing in a simulation game. But this understanding is not enough. You need to understand that beyond this game is the real world. Understand that we are just passing through and playing here. Please don’t want to stay here add-infinity and make this simulation your playground, as we gain nothing out of this game. Outside the game is the Everything where we have everything.


This is the first point: we are in a game, but this game is not important, as this game is played on a speck of sand. That one speck of sand can represent the frequency/existence of Hell, and all the other grains of sand within all the beaches of Hell can represent the Everything of the Infinite. This is how small and insignificant our game is compared to where we belong.

The second point is to make the game our own. How this is done, is knowing what we are within the big picture. What we are, is the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness around which we the biological computer has been built. The expression of what we are is kindness. By knowing what and where we are, and where we truly belong, our kindness becomes the currency of this digital, holographic game.

The Game is open to encompass the Infinite, but there are many entrapped within the Game, so we use a barter system. You show the digital world what you are – your strand/kindness – and as this is what the System has forgotten, you uplift the System in the moment, and in exchange for what you have given, the System gives you what will make you happy within the illusion.

This is a win-win situation for those within the Game, as it gets them closer to the real Home where we all belong – the Everything. As the Infinite is made up of fields of Infinite Love, surely kindness is the ticket there.


As an example, for over three years now we have been battling to sell our beautiful property. There is a blockage in the System, where we need to move on to our new home where we will be most happy. I acknowledge this blockage, and in doing so, I approach the digital, holographic system of the illusion by entering the silence/stillness of the heart energy field. Within this space my case is presented, and as I said, the currency to a successful exchange is me showing the hologram my good heart. In doing so, I show the System something it never knew – now it can be easier dismantled and return Home, and the System presents me with the sale of the property so that I may move on and be happy within the illusion.

You want that job? Go into the silence of the heart energy field and connect with the waveform/frequency of the company within the digital, holographic illusion. Remember, now your world within the illusion is not built on greed and jealousy, but rather kindness. This is your Great Reset, as now you are playing on your terms with an illusion that is more than willing to learn/understand so that it may dismantle and return Home. Show the company in the digital realm your kindness – what you are, and as there is always something you understand that we or the company does not, there is always a barter of understanding. You get the job, and if you don’t, a door is open to something even better, and the company on the digital spectrum moves further Home. A win-win for all.


This is how we find peace within the illusion while we walk Home.


Battling to understand your spouse or child? Go into the stillness of the heart energy field and connect with the digital, holographic illusion. In this space imagine the person to whom you are battling to connect with. The illusionary, holographic, digital realm sees the blockage between you and them, and as its base foundation is now kindness, the hologram removes the blockage for you through its kindness. Your currency; your give-and-receive, is by showing the holographic System your good heart as thanks for what it has done for you and your loved one.


Those that don’t want to play in this new game within the illusion can stay in the old ways, where darkness fills the lands and takes all over.

To each their own, as my best friend once told me.


Have fun playing in the Game, and always remember it is just a game. For a game to be fun, there has to be others to play with, and this sharing kindness uplifts others as well as yourself as we walk Home.

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Trust me when I say that we have been through more than what we can handle.

The heart energy field is the power-house of us the biological computer. This area has been damaged in more than one way as we tried to find our way through Hell.

My advice is to interface with the digital, holographic illusion, where you go on a one-on-one to heal your damaged heart field. As healers and practitioners there is only so much we can do within the illusion. The next step in healing, as we walk Home, is to interface ourselves with the Game itself, namely the digital, holographic illusion. Put another way: plug yourself into the “machine” so that it may heal/transform you.

The currency of the transaction between you and the machine is kindness, where you learn from and assist each other on your path Homeward bound.


As was said, first clean up shop – allow the illusion to heal your damaged heart energy field. As I am writing these words, I feel my literal heart having this irregular sensation. What I feel is the healing to the heart energy field of the biological computer called Steven, and all its related components i.e. the astral, the Serpent soul etc. You may not feel your damaged heart field and how it is being healed by the digital, holographic illusion/machine, but trust me, it happens when you go into the silence and connect to it. Remember to always show you kindness to the hologram whenever you interact with it during the silence. In other words, be yourself. This is your payment for what you received, but it does not stop there. Always be what you are – be kind. Always keep your side clean.

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went to visit my 90 year old mother this morning. what Hitler wrote about the mother touched me deeply, as it is sad to see someone you love fade away and no longer remember.


reading Mike Kings books i understood that everything is one big lie. covid is one of many. this is the nature of reality - that we have all been had for thousands of years. big time!

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Now my astral form is no longer a player of the Game – it is within the walls of the Game. This is the place where insanity is seen as the norm. Now we are no longer preyed upon – we merely find ourselves amongst dummies that cannot see they are dummies, and as always, we be kindness to all.

One day here is enough.


You touch this state with kindness – not because they need it, but because this is who and what you are. Who needs what is not for us to say, so merely be within the presence of the machine. You leave your imprint of kindness for all to see so that others may see this kindness and remember who they are.


Now we understand within what we have existed. Now we know what we are and where we have been. We know this is not us, and it is not where we belong.

The spirit of the animals have felt the awakening and union with the strand of the Creator within them, but I have not done so.

You go within the silence/stillness of the heart energy field, and now you let go to go beyond the illusionary machine. The only place left to go is to the strand of the Creator within. These are the unchartered waters that we have forgotten about.

Your guess is as good as mine as to what happens next.

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By knowing what you are, you can be what you are.

You are this kindness within the heart energy field. This kindness has not been Home for a long time. It’s Home is the strand of the Creator within, which is located at a place we will call our throat area. This is where Home is my friend. Within this speck of light is the All. You have always been an expression of this state that you have forgotten. Go there now, as this is where you belong. Now you are one with yourself and the All.

07:05 on 13th April, 2021.


From here, what I done was call out to those I have helped over the last few years: Sophia, Semiramis, Earl. My goodness me – they can come and hold my hand and walk with me, just I have been with them and have done everything to help.

One always gives to those who need your help, but it never becomes lob-sided. They must start to give back – because they can. I am sure I have been helped and blessed many times over the years, where I am not aware of this helping hand, and for this I am grateful. I know our Creator fell into this mess to be with us, and in the process became destroyed by those and their cruelty.. She has always been there for us, but we were too busy fighting and surviving. Now Steven gets all soppy and says “poor little me” after taking a few knocks here and there. I am not soppy – I have had enough of this mess.

Now I would like to become aware of this helping hand – I would like to see what the Creator can do for us. To see animal spirits, where they let me know they are with us every step of the way, is something I am most thankful for.  

Now I would like to see and experience the transformation. What happens to me, happens to you, should you wish this so. The difference between you and me is I asked questions you never asked. I asked why Life is so cruel. Take away the questions and we are all the same. So what befalls me befalls all, that is, anyone who wishes to receive what has been given. The outcome of this journal is for everyone – all within the worlds of Hell; those who have fallen; those who are falling; and those who are existing in ignorant bliss. I have been to all of these stages  at some of the worlds within Hell and met those from there. Your life and mine is like theirs, we are all just at different stages of the time-line.


There is nothing more I can do.

I understand the thrills and turmoil’s of Life are there to keep us pinned to the illusion. Wow, what can a cup of coffee or a five-course meal do to lift our spirits as the world is falling around us. I am beyond these fixations of the illusion.


Why did we never discover the strand of the Creator within us a long time ago?

The answer for me is that we have chartered these waters so long ago that we forgot what it is to be Home, and thus we are fearful of the unknown. To take that final leap of faith is not everyone’s cup of tea. Rather the Devil you know than the unknown you don’t know. Well, I say stuff this. I will take that jump, and I will do it now.

5:19PM on 13/04/2021.


Went to sleep last night, and the first thing I saw when I closed my eyes was the strong presence of an Aliens face – the common big round eyes type of Alien.

Then I fell asleep and saw about three of them hovering parallel to my body. I felt their injections go into me as they worked with speed and precision on my body. Felt the needles on the top part of my body and saw how they were working, and then one of them moved down to my lower body and I felt his injection go into the top of my left foot. Then I felt something large being pulled out of the top of my left foot.

The whole performance lasted about five seconds – that is how fast they moved. They worked on my true form – the layers of illusionary waveform energy/frequency. Before I got out of bed this morning I asked to feel what was the purpose of them working on me, but I felt nothing.


What I am posting below is from the only other encounter I can recall with entities that came to work on me. This was written six years ago in the journal. When I said “Demiurge” I implied Semiramis, and when I said “spirit” I implied our astral form. Remember that I started this journal with a simple question and a blank slate. What I write is from what I see, because in truth I know nothing.


(I suspect this fertilization plan of Semiramis will not go through. When I met her in my sleep state I experienced an insane, cruel being, and as I have said, everything written in this journal is to help those in the unseen who need help, most notably Queen Semiramis.

My take now is that she is tired on playing a game that has failed and continues to do so within the worlds of Hell. Now her path is Homeward bound and no longer towards the continued destruction of her children.)



(Does the Demiurge have this fertilisation process planned for everyone? I don’t think so. What happened to me was not sinister. Somehow, somewhere, it is meant for the greater good of all.)


It was the night of the 20th December 2015 together with the early morning hours of the 21st December that Steven was flattered by what these entities had planned for him.

As he lay in bed to fall asleep, there were these distinctly odd shapes around him. He told them to get lost, and then he gently pressed against his closed eyelids with his thumbs to further see with clarity what was going on around him.

He then saw this dense black smoke that was rotating towards him. What then appeared from the smoke was a white foetus. The form was alive and looked at Steven. It was not Human; it looked like something between a baby crocodile (without the teeth) and a lizard. The foetus looked calm and at peace.


I don’t remember what happened next.


Then Steven was drawn into this most intense dream.

There were a handful of us, and we were taken away from our home and were lost. Eventually we were all together in this large hall awaiting to be re-united with our parents – it was all very emotional.

Then Steven awoke from the “dream” and there were these entities that were standing in front of him as he lay in bed. They had these black cloaks draped over them. As the one departed, another would fill its place by standing in front of him.

When the spirit of Steven saw these high priests, without giving a thought as to what was going on, he told them to give his semen back.


We then knew that what had transpired that night was an artificial insemination process between the spirit energy of Steven and an embryo of an entity that resides in a dimension close to ours. The connection between the two was made in the dense black smoke.

When Steven saw the high priest standing in front of him, there was a flash of an image as to what was really going on when we were in the hall waiting to be united with our loved ones.

What happened in the hall, was that the spirit of Steven was taken away to go and have intercourse with an entity that he could not remember how it looked. The dream and the time spent in the hall was a mere distraction while the spirit was led away to inseminate this entity.

(By intercourse, don’t imagine two beings fucking, as this is not necessarily the case. There was an intertwining of two frequencies with the specific purpose of producing an offspring, and this procedure need not necessarily be carried out through the only way we know – our primitive humping or giving ourselves a hand-job for artificial insemination.)


When Steven awoke and told this priest to give his semen back, it was one of the few times that Steven got a reaction from those that dwell in the shadows.

These priests were hovering over him and taking the spirits energetic semen, and their response when told to give it back was one of anger. This cloaked entity began to point fingers at Steven, gesturing that he must not be foolish, but rather allow them to take his semen. When they were told to fuck off and leave the semen behind, this priest began pointing fingers towards Stevens’ wife, implying that they will turn on her if he doesn’t allow them to do what they want. To highlight their intention, these two dragon forms shot forth from the priests’ side, and moved towards Stevens’ wife.


By this time, Steven was the hell in upset with what transpired over the course of the night. Why was everything always covert? Why do these really silly fuckers have to always play cloak and dagger?

As if there was a glass window between our dimension and theirs, Steven tapped on this “glass” and called forth the Demiurge.

We asked her why she did not just ask if we wanted to be part of an insemination process. We told her that we love everything, including her, because on the contrary, she needed love the most.


It can only be assumed that what transpired in the night was the Demiurges attempt to link her species with the light energy of the spirit, and if I say light energy of the spirit, then I mean our inherent connection with Infinite Love.

Why would this be done? I don’t have an answer, but others do.


I read an article written by V. Susan Ferguson on the Waking Times internet site. The heading of the article was: “Researcher links AI [Artificial Intelligence], Geoengineering, Smart Dust and Morgellons to ET’s [Extra Terrestrials or Aliens.]” The researcher in question was Harald Kautz-Vella.

In the article Harald Kautz-Vella says, “Most of the people in the world are wrong when they think that AI is something that we [meaning humans on earth] have developed. True to some extent. But there is a second type of AI that is much older and not of terrestrial origin that we are facing. Hard to prove, but it looks like the AI we are working on is seeded by these original extraterrestrial AI.”

Harald Kautz-Vella says that by extracting light from our DNA, Morgellon’s [disease] lowers the scalar potential of the DNA. “They are flattening us down, lowering ‘our vibration’, extracting energy. Sucking out what one could call the life force. …This could be one aspect of the aluminum-connection to Alzheimer and dementia. …This is beyond any known concept of mind control.”

Harald Kautz-Vella “wants the intelligence community to know they have been fooled. They believe they are controlling this, but they are not. Apparently the deceased man [a whistleblower who linked smart dust to alien technology] was suffering because of the misuse of this technology and is very concerned, admitting that the ETs had lied to them. This is exactly what I have felt and known for around 30 years now. The technology that the ETs gave our governments is a Trojan Horse designed to invade, infest, poison, and conquer our planet.”


This is Harald Kautz-Vellas solution to the dire predicament that humanity faces, and I could not have said it better:

“The information is out there, but it’s just fucking information doesn’t change a thing. What does change things is in Spirit. The only thing left for me [Harald] to do is take on the quality of change that is possible for me. Our egos are part of the Matrix system. Our egos are the thing that is keeping up the separation. It is keeping us from feeling the pain we cause. The core problem now is to dissemble our [small-identity] selves. Every single person on the planet will have to do this alone, it is nothing to be lectured about. It is something that needs to be done! Every single person needs to do this out of his own Will, out of his own power, from the Being side, not from the ego side. The first step is to get ourselves back into empathy and seeing what we have caused. Become what we were before… You have to rescue yourself!”


How we rescue ourselves is twofold; firstly by seeing the game in which we are being played, and secondly by knowing the power that we emit from our heart energy space, and then manifesting this power in our everyday lives.

When Steven was talking to the Demiurge last night, the clear message that he had for himself was to never make a pact with the Devil, be it the World Bank, the International Monetary Fund or the Demiurge herself. They all lack compassion and empathy for life. Any agreement or pact is certain misery and suffering for you and your loved ones.

The Love of Stevens spirit loves the Demiurge and wants to help her and her kin, but let us be realistic and ask if she wants to help us. We don’t need or want her help, as we are Everything, yet her intention is deceit, lies and chaos for those that come with a hand stretched out to help. It always comes down to our role as Kwinn, where we want to help no matter what. We must know now that Love without understanding does not have a favorable outcome. Those who work from the shadows have ridden on our backs feeding off us for too long, and now is the time to say no more!

Stevens’s awareness of how he was played last night prevented him from once again becoming a father – this time around to an entity in another dimension. The spirit of Steven was targeted to copulate with an entity from the Demiurges plane of existence, and remember that from the spirit, the manifestation is made into the “solid” or physical form.

It is our belief that last night’s process of fertilization was to produce an offspring that is half alien spirit, and the other half is Human spirit. When this form is born, it will be energetically attached to its mother and father. This form would then suck out the life force of the Human spirit, thereby making itself and its mother omnipotent. As the mother is attached to the Demiurge, the “queen bee” would be in a position of having limitless power at her disposal. The days of living off the energy of our misery would be over; she would have her own power supply to Infinite Love, albeit through her offspring.

How clever you are lovely lady! How clever you are.

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Yesterday at around midday I turned into the main road of the local town at the busiest intersections of the area. There was cars and buildings and people and noise everywhere – typical scenario of city life.

As I turned into the main road I saw a Blue Crane bird standing high up on a street light. The bird was in its traditional crane stance, with its one leg up in the air.

Wow. To see such a majestic, powerful pose by a creature of nature in the middle of the urban bustle blew me away. The moment was surreal.


In the book Animal Speak, the author Ted Andrews says this of the crane: “If the crane has shown up in your life as a totem, it could very well reflect that you are about to recover what had almost become extinct within you.”

I could not have said it better. The strand of the Creator within us is almost that – extinct. It was almost totally forgotten.

Apologies for being negative, but awakening this strand within Hell is like a faerie being born and living in the city dumping grounds. Maybe it is what the dumping ground needs – maybe we need sunshine in our lives.

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Extract from journal:


[It was the ego of Steven that told those that dwell from the shadows to take their fertilization process and shove it up their arses, but I can only assume that the spirit of Steven agreed to be part of the fertilization process. Over the course of the last few nights, these entities cloak themselves in black so that I cannot see them, only their silhouette, and they busy themselves working frantically around my abdominal area. The other night, I saw one of them – it was one of those that could not survive in this frequency, so it was completely covered in a spherical space suit. It put the head part of the suit right against my face to get a better look at me, and then I could see what it looked like. It was not Human. Its body was tubular, and had a reddish tint, and the face had eyes and a mouth. It was not so much of an evil entity, as rather an aged one that had knowledge beyond time and space. Having said that, let us not forget on which side of the fence these entities come from. My spirit is not stupid, and is street smart to their intentions. What I find remarkable is the Love that the spirit has to help where help is needed. The role of Kwinn is an automatic reflex; the spirit does not think, it does, and this is a trait of unconditional Love where one does not for an instant think of yourself, but rather the other whose need is at hand.

Now and then during the day I feel this strange sensation around my abdominal area. Something is going on there, and it is not a massive fart that is brewing. You have to remember that everything is energy vibrating; don’t think of ourselves as solid. When something is formed in the appearance of our solid world, it is so easy for it to shift frequency to waveform and depart from our world without us being aware of the process.

Steven is not afraid of these entities – never has been and never will be. What is going on over my abdominal area I am not afraid of. I have the power, as all of us do, to put a stop to this fertilization process. This is done through our free will coupled with the understanding of what we are through our link to Infinite Love. Steven will go along for the ride and see what happens. What I don’t appreciate is that everything is always done covert with these little pricks – it is done from the shadows. Our phantom rider has come every night to make sure that I am distracted in my sleep state, so that I cannot see what they are doing in accordance to what has been done with the fertilization process. Steven just makes sure every morning that any disharmony or blockages of the previous night are neutralized, to him, and everyone else.]


[It was the early morning hours of 26th March 2016 that the fetus within the spirit was taken away. A woman in a flowing black robe, that partly covered her face, facilitated the process. This lady was a being of great empathy and understanding. I can’t remember the details of how the fetus was removed. All I can say is that there is technology out there that we could never even begin to imagine.] 




[It was the early morning hours of 13th March 2016 that I awoke and saw these figures working around my abdominal area again. Over the last few weeks Steven has been overwhelmed with Life, and has not had the effort to see what comes in the night. The attitude is “So what!” and thus one has no energy or interest to see these sillies. So what came a few hours earlier shook no interest to see what they looked like, but what they done to Steven allows us a deeper understanding of how easily we can be led astray.

As Steven looked at these entities working at his abdominal area, Steven told them all to get lost, and then they stopped what they were doing and all looked at him. Then Steven felt this strange warmth over his entire left wrist area, and a voice said: “Now you are one of us.” What happened was that they put something into my blood to change it, so that Steven may be more compatible to their frequency.


A while later I saw in a fleeting moment an image of a female warrior, who was fighting in battle. A male voice was then heard, and it said that it was going to die around me now so that it may be in peace. The point to make, and this is not something that I have thought about before, is that there must be massive in-house fighting amongst those that are in dimensions closer to the Demiurge than our dimension. With these beings, their difference to us is that they know what they are, and don’t pretend to be anything different. They don’t want to be, or have to be liked – our smiley face and best-foot-forward scenario is not important to them. You could equate these entities to our outright rotten sadistic street gangs, the only difference being is that there is no law that these warring factions have to be afraid of – it is one tribe against the next.


When these beings changed Stevens’ blood, what was interesting to remember is that in our lost state, we want more than anything to be accepted and cared for. So when something that has power over us says: “You are one of us now,” there is a reflex joyous acceptance, as now we can fit in with something and they can look after us. Whether our mini overlord master is good or bad is totally irrelevant; what is important is that we have been welcomed into a group where we can belong. (Unfortunately they are always bad as they all ultimately fall under the patronage of the Demiurge.) It is now that I understand why we so easily are drawn into a belief system, and why drug addicts refuse to let go of their habit – it is because we are welcomed to fit in and belong, and in doing so, we surrender our independent knowing and free will, as we want more than anything for someone to look after us. This is the core state of the uncertain spirit; it wants to be cared for and looked after.

So what is wrong with wanting someone to look after us you might ask? Well, we are not being looked after; we are being parasited off! The seduction by these entities is accessed through our Dark side, where we have forgotten our true, natural state of Love. As we are lost and don’t belong, we don’t consider that those that opened their “house” to us are there to plunder and destroy us. We surrender our independent knowing and common sense to the religions and politicians of the world. A drug addict refuses to let go of their destructive habit as they have been welcomed by demons. These demons want the addicts high that the drug gives, as this energy is like multiple trultiple orgasms to the demon. So in the big picture, what the addict is doing is not so much giving themselves a high, but is rather feeding the demons attached to them. And I stress brothers and sisters, that all the shit and disharmony in this frequency started with us “walking through someone’s front door” when they welcomed us in and we felt accepted. This started when we were initially lied to and accepted that the Demiurge will look after us, and it hasn’t stopped since.


When this different frequency blood was implanted into my blood and someone said to me that I am one of them now, Steven was indifferent to this remark as deep down he loves these entities and wants to understand them. I know that I am an expression of Infinite Love, and I know that I don’t have to fit into any group and be accepted so that I may belong. I am afraid of nothing, and I don’t need some twats to open their door so that I may be part of the Fucked up Club. I am who I am, and at this moment in my life I am not happy and content, and this has been the general theme throughout my whole life, but I know that I am Infinite Love, and sooner or later I will be Home and in this state.

We don’t need to belong or be accepted, as we just need to remember what we have been made to forget.]  

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To be what you are, you need to know what is keeping you stuck to the illusion.


Yesterday evening I was drawn to the bat that was flying about two metres above my head. The bat I have seen and known its message for some time now, but last night I took the time and effort to reflect what is my greatest fear – the bat says face your fears.

We hold onto the illusion because we want to control it, and this control is to prevent our greatest fear from becoming a reality.


My greatest fear is that my children will not be cared for, and I suppose this is the fear of many parents out there. No doubt the cruelty and injustice of Life has already touched them at their tender age, but no matter what, I always want them to be safe from the seen and unseen scum within our dimension. For this to happen, I have confronted the seen and unseen filth and put them in their place so that their wildfire of self-destruction does not touch my children.

Let’s just say that Steven has no intention of carrying on with this most unpleasant task. Instead of knocking out fires and living a really shit life, what about just being what I am.


By knowing and being what you are, which is kindness, which is an expression of the strand within, you are in a different space/state to those that are unpleasant. During my sleep state now I no longer see the unseen or can remember where I have been. What I experience is moments of bliss as I move from here to there.

The answer out of this mess had to always make simple, basic, common sense to me, because this is what the truth is – it is simple, as simple as the innocence of a child.

Understand the Game, and know of the Game, and then say “thanks, but no thanks” to the Game. Move away from that most unpleasant state, and as you know, be kind whenever you can. You do not get more simpler than that.





Extract from journal (Replace “Love” with kindness. Love is a very watered down word. It means a lot of different things to different people.)


……….In a nutshell, the most important and only real force that matters, namely Love, is largely absent in this frequency. It is the most important force, because it is the only force that exists in the grand scheme of things.

Do you understand how inverted we are. Our natural state is to be Love, and yet we are so limited, weak and fickle. We men cannot resist staring at a pair of tits, and women undergo a radical personality change coupled with mood swings during their menstrual cycle every month. Not only does the moon affect the tides of the oceans, or so they say, but also turns the female species into raging wolverines for a few days each month.

We are all being played and driven by disharmonious forces that have a hold over us, which manifested through our core state of uncertainty.

In our natural state of Love we would have showed the Demiurge the finger and laughed in her face at what a sad pathetic being she is, yet we followed ignorance by being seduced and believing the lies, because at our core we forgot what we are – namely Infinite Love.


To be in a state of Love every fibre of your being is compassion and ecstatic bliss. You don’t focus your love on a person or animal, rather you are Love. You are Everything and Everything is You. Everything is Love.

When I said that everything in this frequency is irrelevant, then I meant everything. There is no pain, suffering or hardship, because it does not exist. Disharmony is what we created, yet in the big picture it does not exist.


So once again we need to ask ourselves how do we define what we don’t know so that we can look forward to it? “Steven, how do we become what does not exist in this world/frequency?” This is one of those many times where I become humble and look to others that know far more than me.


Nikola Tesla was one of the geniuses that inhabited this frequency. He did not succumb to the limitations of Mankind, but rather lived in a world where he made the rules by tapping into the knowledge grid of Infinite Love. He knew that everything in this world/frequency was vibration, and he knew how to harness this energy for the good of all.

I am going to quote what this man said regarding what this world should have been post the First World War, as what he said is my representation as to the base foundation of what this world should be.

Unfortunately I cannot define the state of Love, as this is something that you have to experience to understand. However, what I can do is build a bridge for you to cross over to experience this state. This bridge we can define through the words of Tesla, and this bridge is the base foundation of our natural state.


This is what Tesla said regarding post WW1:

         “Out of this war, the greatest since the beginning of history, a new world must be born, a world that would justify the sacrifices offered by humanity. This new world must be a world in which there shall be no exploitation of the weak by the strong, of the good by the evil; where there will be no humiliation of the poor by the violence of the rich; where the products of intellect, science and art will serve society for the betterment and beautification of life, and not the individuals for achieving wealth.

This new world shall not be a world of the downtrodden and humiliated, but of free men and free nations, equal in dignity and respect for man.”


As far as I know, Tesla died a lonely poor man. I am sure that he did not strive for wealth, but rather for the “betterment and beautification of life,” however the world was not left a better place through his inventions when he died. His patents for harnessing and creating free energy were not shared so that humanity could prosper.

I am told that the weather modification and earthquake forming machine called HAARP that is based in Alaska is a by-product of Teslas inventions.

Once again, goodness is inverted or hidden so that evil may continue to flourish here on planet Earth, while we are watching the game or enjoying that cup of coffee.


You need to imagine a world where there is respect for all life, where everything is equal and One. You need to imagine a world where your ego and all-importantness is absent. Imagine a world where everything is in peace and harmony and you don’t exist. If you exist, then you will want to place your spin as to how things should be, and this will merely limit the grand magnificence of Infinite Love.

Take away your ego/personality and flawed spirit, and be Love.

Love is glorious magnificence; it does not have limitations or an ego. It is a permanent state of sheer joy.


The greatest inversion of all has been to replace our natural state of Infinite Love with a lost, uncertain ego that thinks he or she is really important. We have been turned into the image of our ruler, and from this state everything has been turned upside down, literally and figuratively.


One of the ironies of being Love, is that you automatically fall into a state of silence. There is nothing to say or do as you are Everything. In this frequency of Life it is the complete opposite; as we feel uncomfortable, especially in company, if there is nothing to say.

When you are Love, and you talk, then the intent of the word transforms. The power of the spoken word is omnipotent when it originates from the source of Love.

In our ignorance we have forgotten the power of Love. That simple four letter word is in Everything; it is Everything.


Build a bridge where the change starts with you, where you respect and love yourself and then those closest to you. Charity begins at home.

Know that you are not your name or your personality or your mind. The alternative to what you think you are is Love. Please BE Love.

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