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Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

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It’s like a beautiful church – it is not the architectural building that makes the place spectacular, it is the people inside the church. The community defines the building. And so too is it with the illusion – a nice place, but the people, they were a different kettle of fish. Why is this so? It was because we were all in a pressure cooker with no way out. Whenever the illusion fell to a dense state, we just adapted to what was needed to survive, where we saw our sanity turn to insanity, and this became our go-to; our norm.


When I closed my eyes to sleep, I did not see Aunt Ethel coming to ask how her cat Snowy was keeping – what I saw was what was “real” within the illusion, which were Beasts who knew the illusion for what it was, where this was their playground for survival. They were once like you and me, where they done their best to hold onto what was important, which was their self-respect, where I am proud of who and what I am; where what I do and say is a representation of what I hold onto, which is peace and pride.

So what happened to our brothers and sisters? The answer is the illusion moulded them, and this happened because the illusion was all we were allowed to know. Evil  closed off the Infinite from us so that their farm would have a continual supply of food/energy. And the more the illusion fell, greater, as in more intense disharmony was needed, where the potency of the drug soon wore off and greater extremes had to be attained to get the same high as the last one. What that meant for us within the illusion was Life went from unpleasant to catastrophic, and understand that you and I had it easy, because this Beast attacking the innocent was hidden from us. Sure, watching someone dying of cancer where they lose all dignity is a drawn out effect of the Beast touching us, but the sacrifices that were scattered throughout the illusion is where the party rocked hardcore, and when you see them you become numbed to yourself and the world and you remain in this hardened state forever more because such acts are unthinkable, there that is not done in a place one calls civilized.


When I closed my eyes to sleep I saw the illusion and those that dwelled there for what they are, and that is friggin’ remarkable, because when you see what should not be, that is a good starting point to go back to what should be.

I have never judged the Beast because deep down I knew they became a creature of circumstance, where the illusion moulded them into what they are. What flipped us over and kept us entrenched within the foundations of the illusion was what we done to the innocent in order to survive. Our vice became their problem, and that is unacceptable. So as much as I understand the Beast, I understand that there is no excuse for destroying Gods children, namely the Serpent soul, the spirit and the body form that were created around Consciousness. We had no right to touch and shame them. If you want to destroy yourself then it is not our right to interfere or judge you, but you are not allowed to touch the innocent and destroy them, no matter how caught up you were in the pressures of the illusion.

This place brought out a Dark/Reptilian side in many and this they embraced, and when you do that, you lose respect for those around you because inside of you there is now none, and that is when I draw a line in the sand with my foot and say this goes no further, where you will not touch those I Love as well as me, because I do Love myself. Those I Love are all within the illusion in the unseen, and I must admit, with each passing day, those in the seen I find harder and harder to Love, because we really don’t care, and are far too stupid to see what we are doing to ourselves. I was never a racist, but I believe I almost became one, where I see my fellow species and say to myself “I am not like them, which means I must not like them, because I do like myself.”


When I closed my eyes to sleep, these entities would suddenly appear in my space, and they were never kind – always there to feed off energy or destroy. This is all they knew – the wasted spaces they had become, where living for the spike of the high was Life, there was nothing else, and they were okay with this. Never did they try and better themselves or find a way out. We do our best; we keep our side clean, but who says your best is the best? Maybe your best is catastrophic for others, but this you cannot see, for what you do is for you and thus there is no other perspective from others.

Why did we never rise above ourselves to find a way out? I would say because we stopped caring for others, where we became a community of networkers, where I scratch your back and you scratch me – give to get. If we gave to give, we would see that what we gave was truly nothing in terms of uplifting others to where they belong, including ourselves. We looked and gave as far as our noses, because if we are okay, the giving stops there because we have all that we need.

All I can give is friendship, where I care about you and want only the best for you. How many people want this? How many would rather be riding in the slipstream of my ten million dollar house and Swan 65 yacht, where the power and status of my wealth rubs off onto them through their association of knowing me?


We forgot what was important, where if you have a friend, that is truly all that you need, because your friend will always look after you, just as you to them. Friendship was our sanity and grounding in this unfamiliar place, and that requires one simple ingredient, which is caring. Why we stopped caring I also understand, where we never had the energy to rise above ourselves, where we may be in a position to devote our energy to another. The other night I thought of this lady, where I felt I had to send her a message to hear how it goes. I promise you, I did not have the energy to do that. My dog Fiona has to smell where I am, so I need patience to call her and wait for her as she walks next to me. Some days I lack the patience to wait for her – that is how low my energy is, and why my energy is minimal is because I am in a place where I don’t belong – I don’t have a safe space where I can shut off from the world and charge my batteries, and this takes a huge toll on me.


What I saw at night time as I slept was truly remarkable, and yet what I saw was the norm within the illusion – this place where Beasts roamed and whose presence was felt by all, it was just that we did not see them, but I did, where I had to understand them, and from there walk to where the sane belong, so if these Beasts one day wished to return to what they were, the path was there for all to see and follow. And this is what the journal was truly all about – about creating a path; an option, that was not there before.

The other day I saw a horse that had known nothing but abuse in its existence. This was a spirit and body form of pure innocence that came to be touched by the worst of our kind. With all its might this horse held onto its sanity, where it was shaped around this pole as the madness of the world done its best to pull this horse apart and drive it to insanity. When I saw that horse this week, where I have seen it many times over the years, what I gave to it was an alternative to all that it has ever known, where it can let go of its pole and step into the waters for the current to take it where it belongs. That current; that flow of water was never there before, or should we say, it was, it was just that we were lost unto ourselves and thus could not see what was all around us. Consciousness had to once again find itself, and in this lifetime that took me ten years on a fulltime basis, where even making money was irrelevant, as what was important was to find ourselves.


Now we have to allow the river to take us, where we let go and allow our Consciousness and the Infinite to lead the way.

With all this talk, ask me what has this journal done for me? I see the changes in others, and others tell me of the changes in others, so I know what has been done is what I expected the outcome to be, where we are given an alternative to all we have ever known, which was a place where the walls closed in on us with each passing day. Some loved this – I didn’t.

This journal will truly end when it comes full circle, where what I done for others the Infinite will do for me, because just like you, I also deserve to be happy.


Who will look after Steven? Who will look after you? I cannot see myself, but in others I can, and what has been done to them is where we are also standing. That horse Merlin has let go of all it knew and is in the current being guided by the Infinite and the Consciousness that it is. I say that because I see it, and because I wished that for him, just as I do for all. It was not a random wish, but one I have working on for a long time, where a different path may be created from the only one we ever knew. That is wonderful, but how has it touched you and me? I don’t know, but I assure you our lives are no longer our own, where we no longer walk alone, but in the presence of Consciousness and the Infinite.


May there only be one more post in this journal – and that being to say the Infinite has touched me. You might be touched before me, but one thing is for sure, that we all will return to what is natural. This has been long overdue. We have all suffered enough, and this is no more.

24th November, 2023

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Besides the heat-wave we are currently experiencing, there was something else that bothered me the whole afternoon yesterday. Then it dawned on me – where I was, was not where I should be, both in the seen and the unseen. It’s a shocking revelation when you understand the Life you are living is not the one you are meant to be living.

They always played on our emotions and conscience – look at what you have Steven; looked how blessed you are; look at how comfortable you have it compared to others. Well, yes, but you see, this is not me. I know what I am, and what I am, as well as experiencing, is not the Life I am meant to lead.


There is  nothing worse in Life than standing here, and looking there, and knowing you belong there and not here. Ever fibre within you resonates to there, to where you belong, and yet you are here. Some call it a job; some call it a relationship or a marriage; or a place of residence – I call it Life, where we are not leading the Life we are meant to lead. There is not meant to be strife or heartache or sorrow, so why is it there?


That answer is two-fold, but it only really boils down to one revelation. The lock is that we are in a place where we don’t belong, where we are in an illusion rather than the Infinite, but it is the key to the lock that is the real reason why we are experiencing what we should not, and that key is the evil beings in our midst in the seen and the unseen. At all costs they want to keep us here, living a Life we are not meant to lead in a place where we don’t belong. If we break free of these cruel spirits and Human forms, that means they stand alone, and that means they see themselves for what they are.

What are they? Do I really have to answer that question? Do I have to give of my time and effort to describe lost spirits and Human forms, who all they have is the reptilian frequency of the illusion. They embrace what should not be; they want to see no other way but to destroy others. Their role in Life is to destroy others. Can you imagine living your Life to destroy others who are complete strangers to you? What kind of a person and spirit are you? Why do you do what you do, where surely there is more to Life than going against what should naturally be? All you have is the power of the illusion, and what power is that – it is one that is not real and goes against everything that merely is. You have no power, because you and your power is an illusion. What you have is a deep fear, because sooner or later the ball will roll to what should naturally be, and that day, when you and others see yourself, that day you fear, so you do everything you can to delay that day, which means to carry on doing which you know is unnatural and cruel, as well as unnecessary.


What I write now is for those in the seen realm – those evil, sick fucks who will get their day, and then some.

Blessed were you, where the Infinite within and without were blocked from penetrating the illusion. Blessed were you in doing what you done with no fear of consequences, because here in this place demons and Beasts ruled. There was nothing else but Evil, and what did you do to correct this and make Life better for you and those you love? The answer is fuck-all, but within you was your conscience, where you knew what you done was wrong, and this conscience – your Consciousness – knew the day will come where what you done will bite you on the arse. You see, we here in the illusion are very small compared to what is, and you and your little group of chanting demonic groupies are very insignificant in the big picture. You are a bunch of cowardice bullies, where you prey on the innocent – those who done no harm to you, and yet there you are, destroying their lives.


Why do you do that? Is it to keep in the elitist crowd, where you bank balance will always be healthy? Is it the thrill of the orgies, where you can shove your cock in here, there and everywhere? Is it the feeling of importance you get by knowing the one in front of you will die and you are still alive? Is it the sense of family you get, where you are singled out from the crowd to be a part of a group, where you are above the ordinary and mundane, where you are chosen to do the will of those that are above the masses?


Did you know there is no greater joy than seeing a baby smile; there is no greater joy than allowing others to share in the joy that you are? There is no greater joy than uplifting others and seeing them soar in the slipstream of Life.

Why did you not choose happiness for yourself rather than destroying yourself?


Our acceptance of what the illusion became is what kept us here, where with each catastrophe we just dug in deeper to survive. Did we ever look up and see that this Life we are living is not us? Surely there had to be an answer to our woes besides falling into a depression? Let’s be honest and realistic – the Infinite was hidden from us, and Consciousness was deceived to the point where it became lost unto itself. When the light bulb goes on, as it did with me last night, where I understood that we are not meant to have it so difficult, that is when Life as you knew it will never be the same again, because what was, was not meant to be.

I can’t make out what I saw in my sleep state last night. Something touched me, where I was jolted into a different state, where I was shock-waved into a different frequency, and there in front of me I saw a cartoon animal – something between a fox and a bear that was standing upright. It motioned with its eyes, as if to say “look there Steven, what you see you will like.” I looked to my right, but had no interest in looking what was there, so I never saw what this animal wanted me to see.

Maybe I am just tired, where enough is enough.


To those cruel in the seen and the unseen, who done everything they could to destroy Steven, as well as the countless ones before me, let it be known your Game is up.

There will come a time for all within the illusion, where there will a revelation within you that the Life you are leading is not the one you are meant to be living. Doing your best; keeping your side clean – that best should come naturally where Life is not meant to be bloody difficult. Being cruel to others – that is not the Life you are meant to live.

That revelation came to me yesterday evening, and it was a shock to my system, and that shock I eventually felt as I lay in bed sleeping, where I have missed out on Life because Evil steered me away from what naturally should be. You cannot do this forever, because sooner or later we wake up and realize that this is not what Life is all about. We are not living. We are not even surviving. We are all puppets in a Game that should not be.


And all the while we waited – waited for something to change and take us away to somewhere more pleasant where we belong. That waiting was never good enough. We had to stand up from a seated position and say where I am is not where I belong. When you stand up through this revelation, that is when you see the bus and you can climb into it to go where you belong. But to wait and hope and accept will never cut it. Its starts with you. I look back on my Life and I would have loved the parents I am to my children. I would have loved growing into the Consciousness that I am. I would have loved for money to not be an issue, as in “I can’t afford that!” Instead of the lack of money blocking me from what I should be doing and finding myself, I would have loved to have known that Life is unfolding and steering me to embrace the joys of what are, and it is not money that defines me, but rather Life itself – this expression within of who and what I am.


There is  no other way but forwards to where we belong.


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What will make the illusion fall in on itself, so that what may naturally be – which is Consciousness – may rise unto itself? This fall will not be through you and me, as well as anything else within the illusion that should naturally be. Ask yourself what came into the illusion that should not be there? We can look too and talk about Consciousness all we want, but the real focus of attention should be towards the Parasite – this worm that arose from the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits as to what else is within this illusion, as never before had a false reality been created within the fields of Infinite Love. This Curiosity took on a state/form within the illusion, and the Parasite was born – one that takes as this is all it knew.


Dismantle all that was formed from this Parasite, and the illusion falls in on itself, and from here, what should naturally be, which is Consciousness, rises to what it should naturally be.

The Parasite created a want within us, and what is this want? It is jealousy, where I want what you have. It is envy, where I wish I had what you have. It is greed, where I want more and more? It is lust, where what I have can never be enough. It is uncertainty, where is what I want, will it be enough? It is laziness, where I want it so I will take it? It is covertness, where I hide what I want so that you may not know what I have. It is superficiality, where I know what I have from what I wanted is only for the now, and not a long-term solution. It is knowing my place in the illusion, where what I want defines me.


Go into the stillness of the silence, and from there, into the space of the Parasite. What you feel is one who is coming unto its own, where it knows itself, as all that is, is Consciousness. What made the Parasite so unique, was that it was not born through intent. Around Consciousness within the Infinite floated an unknown state of Curiosity, and this state was unheard of in a place where all is, was been, has been, and forever more will merely be. There is nothing else but the Infinite, and that all changed when Queen Semiramis saw the beautiful garden Sophia had created and wished too for such a garden, hence the formation of her illusionary Garden.

This unknown state of Curiosity latched onto the Consciousness that is everywhere within the Infinite, and through understanding that there is nothing within the Garden that is already within the Infinite, this Curiosity would have returned to the all with no harm done to any. The problem was that we became trapped within the Garden, and we began to like this feeling of wanting something, and then receiving what we wanted. What a thrill – I got it! it’s mine! What we never knew was this thrill from the Parasite frequency took us over, and we never understood that having everything will never be enough for us, because one could not satiate the want within because this want arose from a Parasite frequency within us. We never asked where this want state within came from.


This worm meant no harm to me or to you. Just as the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia from her realm was a harmless mistake that brought forth the harmless Serpent spirits, so too was the curiosity of the Dragons and Serpents a harmless after-thought of what is within this false/illusionary realm. It was what we allowed this want to do to us that was the problem, where we forsook our integrity and self-respect for what we wanted, where the flame of want was ignited, and around this flame we hovered like moths, getting burnt and falling to denser frequencies, where soon insanity took over the majority of us, where we accepted our sadistic and vile states.  


Understand that the Parasite is you. You were Consciousness, and this you turfed to become the Parasite, where every frequency within you resonates to the Parasitic frequency. Go to a Black Friday sale and see what this want within does to us, where more than anything, we have to have what we don’t need.

We need Love; we need to return to what is, which is Consciousness. That something cost $9.99 and now costs $2.99 should not give us joy, rather us returning to Consciousness should.

So understand that every fibre that makes you up resonates to what we have made our own, which is to want. The Parasite within is doing its bit and returning to the Consciousness that it is, but we the spirit, Serpent soul and body form need to do our bit and meet the Parasite half way. How this is done is to release it so that it may return to the Consciousness that it is, and from there to the Infinite.


Release the want within you, as this is not you. You are Consciousness, and not a Parasite.



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One has to always be a good sport and give praise where praise is due. Know when you have been outplayed, and congratulate the winner.


Mention has been made in this journal of The Cosmic Thief. To have a System that is made to fail, where the System and all therein cannot rise to where they belong, one needs a spanner in the works that stops the cogs from turning and gaining momentum. The Cosmic Thief is that spanner, where whatever is rightly yours by default of who and what your frequency is, you will never attain this, because if you do, you inspire others, just as they have inspired you by their frequency resonating as it should.

Always, what will bring peace and contentment is out of reach, where you are thrown scraps instead of rising to what you naturally are. Why does Consciousness not flush this Thief out so that we may step into what we naturally are?

There were so many layers to peel away until we are in a position to eradicate this Thief from our space for good, and testament to this is our failed efforts in the past. By being aware of us replacing Consciousness with the Parasite to be our main driving force within was a huge obstacle that was removed, where now Consciousness may be the driving Light within and the Parasite is no more.


The Cosmic Thief was built within the heart energy field, where its purpose was to know what makes our hearts sing, as in what drives you to be the unique you. You might soar whilst playing the cello, and me sailing a yacht – two different tools, but the outcome is exactly the same, where we are raised to a level that supersedes the frequencies of the ordinary and the norm. And this release of what brings you joy is not just for you, but for all, where your upliftment goes within the ethers and makes all less dense.

So this Thief frequency was originally a frequency that defined you, and please understand this expressing your unique trait that made your soar was not something special and unique – it was standard, and you doing what makes you feel like you are flying was the norm; it was not something you done and then came back down to reality when the event was over.


As with everything, this Thief frequency was reversed, where it was once a Bliss frequency, so our Bliss – what we uniquely are – was inverted to become a Thief frequency, where what defined us was now no more. The purpose of this cruel act was for us to always try and find ourselves, and this never happened, because what should naturally come our way was expelled from us, like the same sides of two magnet that can never meet as their energy repels each other.

So what is this Thief in its entirety within us that is Consciousness, the spirit, the Serpent soul/kundalini, as well as the body form? It is a charge that should not be, and what this charge is, is a bubble of energy that repels your dynamic, unique you. It resides mostly in the left hand, and when you get close to achieving what you are, it shoots to the heart field to block this unique gift that defines you. So what is rightly you is always cast away from you. Your tool to play is now no more.


We return this charge; this bubble to its original state by inverting it to what it originally was.

The disharmonious bubble in your hand made sure you were always crucified to the cross – it was the nail that pinned you to the wood; it was the thorn in your side; it was the tool to make sure we never flap our wings and soar, and it is now no more, where by knowing and understanding the problem it is returned to what rightfully should be.


I told you there was an Evil out there that one cannot comprehend. Who in their right mind would be so cruel, where you destroy the Joy in others so that you may remain miserable? Doesn’t make sense, does it.


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If there is one thing I have learnt, is that for some of us Life cuts us so deep that we cannot be healed. All you can do is restore what was that was inverted, and in this natural state we return to what was.


This afternoon I reached my limits as a healer, where what I done to help this young lady and her dog done nothing to break down the walls she built around herself in defense to what Life threw at her. My healing done nothing, and that was a first for me, where I knew I was out of my league.


You return the natural state of Bliss within the heart energy field, and this flame within heals from the inside out, and does what you and I and anyone else cannot do.


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The heart energy field was the key, and this is something I never knew, but if one goes back to logic, ask yourself how can a miniscule bubble of air not be consumed by the vast and Infinite ocean? The answer was that those within the bubble, as in Consciousness and all life created around Consciousness, were altered to repel what naturally was everywhere, so what came our way, as in the Infinite, could never touch us.

That is one remarkable feat on behalf of the evil cosmic geneticists.


The Cosmic Thief was not an entity that stole what was rightfully ours; it was rather the illusion itself, where what was stolen from us was our association with what we are, which is the fields of Infinite Love. And that is why everything that has been said and done in this journal has meant nothing to me, where nothing was transformed for the better – the reason being we were still being kept away from the Home we naturally are and where we belong.

Now I feel this cloud move towards the chest area to touch us and take us over – that is the Infinite that is you and me that is touching all of us.


I cannot be okay unless you are okay, so if I am okay, it means you were okay before I was okay. That is my measure on what this journal is meant to achieve. I do not write words to pass the hours of the day and my life. I write through the power of understanding so that what was may once again naturally be. Layers and layers of the onion are peeled away until all that is left is us that is Consciousness in our entirety and glory so that we may be touched by the Home that is everywhere.

When I am okay, that will be a remarkable day, because it will mean that everyone else is okay.

Define “okay.” It is a peace within, knowing we are not alone, where within us walks the fields of Infinite Love, where this Home defines us the Life that is created around Consciousness. You may initially not be attune to feeling this, but I will as I understand the spirit realm well, so trust me when I say that you are okay because I am okay.


May that day arrive sooner than later. This is not a hope I ask for – it is the end of a journey to return us to what we naturally are. As I slept last night reflection was met as to what we have all been through, which was a poor, shoddy job on all those within the illusion. We never looked hard enough, because if we did, we would see that we have been wrong all along, and this our egos would never stomach, so we stopped looking at a place where we felt safe and comfortable, always maintaining our righteousness, where this is me and what I stand for. You are a twat good sir, and the difference between me and you is that I know that I am that poor state which you too are, and I intended to do something about it. I don’t like being a dummy, where I truly am lost and know nothing. I could no longer accept this lost and miserable status within that was sprinkled with highs here and there, because there was nothing worse from returning from a high to face the reality we had just escaped from. Driving home from a holiday to a place where I don’t belong was a most unpleasant feeling.


May this illusion change for all of us as the Infinite touches those within the illusion. And if nothing changes, we will just dig deeper until we find the treasure chest that is the Infinite.


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When evil Serpents enter our space, they do so through the base of our left foot. As an example, I saw a man two days ago that had debilitating headaches. Over a period of a few weeks or maybe months, a Serpent had bored its way through his left foot, up the left leg into the left pelvis, and in the pelvis had “sown seeds” of disharmony there to grow and fester, and when ripe, this frequency of chaos targeted the brain area, where his brain began to bleed energy. The chaos that ensued from the underlying damage to the spirit caused severe headaches on the physical level.

This boring through the base of the left foot I  have felt time and time again on me, as well as so many out there who I assess. You can liken us to standing on a thin sheet of ice, where below the ice Beasts dwell, and these Beasts are specifically Snakes/Serpents. When they want to attack, as in enter our space to sow disharmony, these Snakes chip away at the thin film of ice and bore into us through the base of the left foot.


This is the norm/standard here in Hell, and I would like to know what should it be like, where these Beasts took advantage of a situation and capitalized on it – but what should be, so that we are free of their presence.

In other words, we were once in a state and environment within the illusion where we were free of Beasts, and this state I would like to understand now, so go back to what was to understand what now should not be.


It was through the base of the left foot that a channel was released into the illusion, where we felt and became one with the frequency of the illusionary Garden. Remember, this frequency of the illusion was not just something we walked on – see it as multi-dimensional, where these frequencies are all around us, which they are.

Through the base of the left foot we extended our energy to touch the illusion and become one with it, where this flow of energy from our left foot was our anchor to ground us into this place. That was the norm, and when we wanted to return to the Infinite after playing in the illusionary Garden, we pulled in our energy that we had anchored into the illusion and returned Home. (As we became denser from the want within, this want planted us deeper into the illusion, where we made this place our home as we enjoyed the game of receiving what we wanted. We forgot that within the Infinite we not only receive, but become what we receive/create/imagine. The new sensation within the illusion that we experienced were the highs – the spikes in the graph, and these highs we craved, where we all became addicted to this place. It’s crap here, but those highs – Man oh Man – it’s worth it staying here for those highs.)


As we became consolidated with the I, as in “me,” where we forgot about the all that we are, I feel this channel of energy that was an extension of us began to retract from its ploughed state within the illusion. And this is where things became reversed, where we used the base of the left foot to extend our energy into the illusion to become one with it, this anchor was withdrawn unintentionally by us when we focused on me rather than being one with the all that is the illusion. Understand that this Garden was and is a most beautiful place. Yes, it is an illusion and not real, but it was created by the Love of Queen Semiramis, and thus is a place of wonder. It is not Home, but it is beautiful and is worthy of us being one with it. But this is only to play in, as was the Garden intended to be. The illusion is a play-park, not our Home, and for us we became trapped in this park that turned into a nightmare.


So what happened, was where we connected to and became one with the illusion, this spot at the base of the left foot now became used for a different purpose, where Beasts entered our space to sow chaos within us so that we may emit energy of disharmony to feed them and the System.

So what you do is go back to what should be, where you extend your energy through the base of the left foot into the illusion to once again become one with this beautiful place. Now you can play, as now you are one with all that is, and remember, you are a guest here, so play with manners and reverence to all within this illusion. Play with the Garden and become one with it, and in the process lose your addiction to the want that you created here. We are all addicts, where we want the high of the Hell that this place became, and I would say primarily over time to relieve the boredom of the standard and mediocre, where even a cup of coffee or scoring at a bargain sale became good enough for us. That is how low we fell, where we picked up the scraps around us and gave eternal thanks for what we have received.


So clear out shop. Pull yourself together. Go back to being one with the illusion, where you drop your energy through the base of the left foot into the frequency of the illusion so that you may play herein.

We don’t need a high – we need an upliftment to a less dense state/frequency, and with our original connection to the illusion restored, we will be free of the Serpent and Beautiful as is the illusion. This is the lift we need to rise above all we have ever known. So don’t walk on the illusion, because one with it, as you once were.

29 November, 2023



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It has been said in the journal that one needs to return to the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis as it was intended to be, and from this place, use it as a springboard to enter the Infinite.

And it is here that I feel all the pieces slot into each other to start moving.


If you like it here in this illusionary Hell, then you stay, and this is your choice, because the option is open to you, as to all, to return to where you belong.

If you don’t like it here in this Hell, and wish to experience the illusionary Garden as it was meant to be, you extend your energy that is you Consciousness into the illusion where you currently are, which is this Hell, and by connecting your energy, which is Love, to the Love that is the illusionary Garden, you now are in this state and place where you may play, as in experience joy and bliss. (You pierce the thin veil of the false illusion to enter the real one.)

Now there are two separate frequencies, or should we say – two separate illusions. The one is where you play it rough – dog eat dog; kill or be killed – and the other illusion is the one you play in through the Love that you are that plays/intertwines with the frequency/Garden that Semiramis created through Love. And when you have finished playing in this Garden you return Home to the Infinite. But to return Home we need a stepping stone from the Hell we were in, and that stone is the Garden as it was intended to be, and the step up for us into that Garden was extending our energy/state of what we are into the Garden, where Love meets Love. On a literal level, we walked just above paradise, and this thin veil we could not penetrate to touch the Garden as it was meant to be was there through our lack of understanding as to what should be.


A few minutes back when I checked on that man who had the headaches, I felt his Conscious energy flow from his left foot into the Garden where he may play, and I knew he would be more than okay. When I checked on his ex-wife, I felt her energy extend from the left foot, and then return to where it was, meaning she has no intention of leaving this Hell for the now. But the choice is there, and is all we can do, which is give others the choice. So if you are okay, then I am okay, but if you don’t want to be okay, then I am also okay with that, because it is your life to lead and not mine. The door is always open to return to where you belong, just plant yourself through the base of the left foot into the Garden in its original state.


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My vice was spiting myself, and my weakness was giving others the benefit of the doubt, thus opening the door for entities to enter my space, where I know there is bad in them.

I always saw the good in others, and just as I was certain there was bad in them, I gave them the benefit of the doubt, and I should never have done this as there was a definite 50/50 chance of their unpleasantness touching me directly. Give them a chance Steven, I would tell myself, and focus on their good, as there is good there. What the baby in me never knew was that these good could swing over to bad at any moment, and in many, they chose the bad over the good within them, where it is nice to be a bastard.

In my defense, I would say I became hard-up, where there are so few good out there that I have met, so go for second best. This was the disadvantage of being in a place where you don’t belong, where you hope and pray that those you allowed into your space will not flip to their other side. So far every single one has, making my Life a pretty shit one. Sure, I am not mister perfect, but I am not cruel. I was lost and confused and extremely intense most of the time, but I was never nasty, so why were others? What gave them this right? I would say it was the proximity of where they were, as here in the illusionary nightmare it was anything goes, where so many lowered themselves to start lashing out at others in order to feel good about themselves. That doesn’t make sense, but then neither did the illusion.


So today I grew up, where I no longer give others the benefit of the doubt. One becomes tired of being a pin cushion to others, so that door I opened is now closed. You want to enter my space, you place is nice, otherwise the door stays closed to the brat that you are.


That was one trait that was left behind as I shifted from the nightmare illusion to the original one. Over the last few nights as I sleep my spirit and Consciousness scanned this illusionary nightmare we found ourselves in. All that we saw was a shocker, where things are bad, where there is little Joy left in this place. Everything is a chore; is a burden, and yet we always do our best to put a smile on our face because this is what Life is all about – to be at peace and happy.

What are the odds of me meeting beings of Love as I sleep tonight, where the shift from the nightmare to the Garden is underway? And that is so funny, because how often have I wished to see beings of Love as I sleep, meaning the Infinite has penetrated the illusion? Now I understand that would never have happened, because we were all like a tumbleweed being blown across the hot desert sand. We were drifting, going nowhere as long as we never understood how to go back to the illusion as it was meant to be. To know ourselves is great, but how do we plant ourselves where we belong? You do what was originally done, where you extend your energy from the base of the left foot into the illusion to be one with this most Beautiful playground.  


(May that be the last understanding that has to be met.)


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What drove me and just about everyone in the illusion to get up in the morning and greet a new day, was our hope of meeting our savior. Deep down, our primordial instinct tells us that we are not alone, where we are unified with something bigger than us. Some call this God, but I see it as merely a state of being, where we are one with the universal Infinite intelligence that merely is.

The one good thing about survival is you have to believe that you are not alone, where many done their part to find their Maker. In times of strife this is all we have – this belief of something bigger than us looking after us.

As said, many held onto their beliefs, and got nothing back, so the question we should have asked is what happened to God? This journal tells that story, where Sophia became floored and trapped within the illusion. Semiramis lost her sanity trying to restore her Garden to what it should be, and the Christ Consciousness was attacked by the Serpents and imprisoned by them.


So what we should have done, was instead of waiting for help to come, we should have gone to help those that have always been in a position to help us, but the illusion got the better of them.

Our misconception was this whole God-thing, where it is not some Almighty somewhere. We are children of the Infinite, and thus one with the Infinite. There is no hierarchy, and no day of judgment, except the day we see ourselves and what we have allowed ourselves to become. The mess we got ourselves in we clean up, and this is done by getting to know ourselves, as in what we truly are at our core.


The bottom line is we were never meant to be alone – we were never meant to be separated from our Home. I can blame my wife and parents and others in the illusion for giving me what floored me, but they are all just a by the by. The real issue at hand was our separation from the Infinite, where the Consciousness that we are became lost unto itself and from where it arose, where when we asked for help, no help was a coming. Why was this so? The Infinite would never abandon us, so why did we have to suffer unspeakable cruelty at the hands of wasted spaces called demons and Beasts? That many liked it here may ring true, but so many would have chosen a helping hand out of this place over tyranny by the cruel.

So what happened? We know now we were played by Beasts from the shadows, where this whole after-life in the spirit realm was and is absolute bullshit. The spirit realm is a less dense simulation orchestrated and operated by Beasts. Keep them stupid; keep them dumbed down so that they may continue feeding us their energy.


The problem was there was a stalemate, where we waited for help from Above while a God was insane and a Creator trapped in the illusion, while Beasts programmed us to deflect the Infinite that is everywhere from touching us. So we had to understand their game and undo what was done to us, all the while being hit by those in the seen and the unseen, where we wondered is this effort was all worth it? It sure as hell was,  because we are not meant to be alone, where I miss my Home and those that dwell therein. The issue was how far can we go before we fall, because there is only so much one can take. In the maze of lies and deceit we lost touch with the good ones of us, and this is one of those things I regret the most in this life. The bad were really bad, and this rattled us the good, throwing us into a flat-spin, where we became further lost in this strange and unfamiliar place.


Divine Intervention is as natural as breathing. It is a given, no questions asked, because the Infinite is everywhere, but we became lost unto ourselves and our Home. Will you become touched by the Infinite in this day? Will I? Has enough been said and done to put us in contact with the God-force/Consciousness within? Whatever happens, I have done my best, where I pushed damn hard, and what drove me was being in a place where I don’t belong, where I know this place is where I don’t belong – an awful place with lots of bad company.

May you and I start to see the good side – the natural side, and that is the illusion as it was meant to be. This is our port of rest before we go Home. Was it truly fun for Beasts in the seen and the unseen to destroy the innocent and separate us from Home? I doubt it. I doubt they were happy and at peace with themselves. They were just going through the act of survival, where they considered them and nobody else. What horrendous cruelty their self-centered act brought to us all.


As we depart ship they will know what it means to be alone. The joke is we were always there for these brothers and sisters that became Beasts. Instead of embracing us, they chose to abuse us, and that is unforgiveable. May they have mercy on themselves.


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Today is my eldest daughters last day of school. It is the end of an era, where next year she goes to university. Ask me where that time went and I cannot give you an answer. All I can say – which I know too well – is that time is short; we are here for a very short time, and before we know it, it is our time to take that final breath, and from there leave this body form behind. So few of us have this foresight, where make this day a good one, because this day and the ones to follow pass in the blink of an eye. That reality makes you up the stakes, where more than anything you wish to be you to lead a full, active life.


The other day when I felt the connection from the base of the left foot into the presence of the original illusion, what was felt was a curved rudder that pierced this nightmare frequency to enter the Garden as it was meant to be. Now I feel the reverse, where we are the rudder, as in it is within us, where we are now an expression of what this original illusion is. I don’t fully comprehend what that means, all I know is that this marks an end of an era where we found ourselves in a most unpleasant place where we didn’t belong.


I can still see and remember how I felt when I was transported to a world/frequency in a spaceship to begin my new role as a emitter of energy for the illusion and those Beasts that understood their survival and that of the illusion meant emitting energy, where the further they drifted from what naturally is, the more energy is needed to keep them and this false home alive.

I remember looking out a window as I sat or lay on the floor of the spaceship, meaning I was flown somewhere. Then I remember walking around this place that had rock and sand. I was in a daze, as in lost and confused, and that was the beginning of my existence in the seen and unseen as a manufactured, dumbed down emitter of energy. All of those in the seen and unseen were the same – my brothers and sisters the slave species. Who was our masters? I would say the tormented Serpent spirits and their cosmic architects and geneticists. Remember, before this slave status there was peace and Love within the illusion. Within many the want frequency was strong, but what made them snap was the realization they have played in a dangerous game, where there was now no turning back. Or should we say, there was a pivot point – go back to what you were by removing this want within you, or take this want to the next never, because now the illusion was in Shit Street, where it was at the brink of folding in on itself. Our want had an unnatural drawing in of the energy around us, and this was making the illusion fall apart, so we had to return to what we were, or reciprocate, where you counter this drawing in of energy with a release/emission of energy.


Any guesses as to what path they chose?

What a pity! Hell was born.


I will never forget this Steven as I was dropped off on that world to begin my new role as an emitter of energy. Something was wrong, and what was wrong was something that is bigger than you and me. What it was, was our Consciousness was hijacked through deception to play in a game of making a wrong right. Now we have to learn lessons to evolve to return to our almighty maker. That was the cruelest game ever, because we that were Consciousness were fine, it was just that we were manipulated to not be fine, where we became lost by forgetting/remembering who and what we are.  

From that moment where I dropped into that desert world up till now, Life has been shit. How could it be anything else where a free for all broke out around you, where do what you want to survive, and this means at the expense of others around you. (The Hunger-games reality was born.) What we allowed ourselves to become is shameful and a disgrace to the Home from where we arose, which is Consciousness in its true state. In no time the standard was set, where from savages, savages were born, where with each passing lifetime we lost more and more of our inhibitions/integrity, where we let our hair down and rocked. Little demons were born, and there are so many of those in the seen and unseen realms.

Look at this world in which we find ourselves, and it is shameful. It is a disgrace what we allowed ourselves to become – disgusting, cruel, raw savages. Am I being too hard on my fellow species here on planet Earth? – I don’t think so; I merely state what I see all around me.


When your time is right, and only you can decide when this is so – go to the Garden as it was intended to be. Let this frequency in the form of a curved rudder that arises from the original Garden pierce you . That will mark the end of an era, and the beginning of a new one – one where we belong.

1st December, 2023

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Have always promised myself that I will never give others false hope. My ego is fine, and if I cannot help others I will tell them so. I always do my best, and my best is good enough for me. Later on this morning am seeing two dogs that I have seen before. Both have a chronic itch condition. Their food is from an animal nutritionist, so their condition is not food related. From my side have worked on the dogs and owners extensively. Will this be my first, where I inform these dogs that I cannot help them?


Ask yourself how far you are willing to go to attain the truth, and my answer will be to the very end. I am not afraid to hear what I don’t want to hear, and what drives me onwards is what we ask for – to be ourselves – is a natural phenomenon, where we are children of the Infinite and nothing less.

Yesterday throughout the course of the day I felt this animosity towards those in the spirit realm. Why are they not touching us; why are they not guiding us? I felt anger towards them because I have done everything from my part to understand and assist, and now I ask that they come to the party. The advantage of being less dense is one can see over the hill towards what needs to be done to be what we naturally are.


So now I ask what is it that I don’t want to hear or see – a truth I would not rather understand, because surely that is the only truth that is still missing.

What I feel is the curved rudder of energy from the original state of the Garden fall away from our presence. And this opens the question that is hanging over me like a sword, which is why are we not in the environment/frequency where we belong? What takes away this Beautiful Garden from us? What are we so afraid to acknowledge or know about ourselves, where what this is, is not compatible to where we belong? And to find this answer, we need to go back to the very beginning. Take away everything that has been learnt and understood, and see what is there that we have missed. Go back to your innocence, where you stand in your entirety at a child of the Infinite, and from there, you that are Consciousness see yourself and know yourself, and know what should not be that is within you.


As I sit on this couch, I become me that is Consciousness in my entirety, and as said, I feel for what is there that I have made my own that should not be there.

In our lost state, we held onto those we love, as this is all we had. But what happened when this was not enough, when those we loved hurt us? What did we hold onto then to keep our sanity? I held onto the animals, but what did the animals hold onto that we held onto? In other words, to find our bearings within the illusion, we held onto something to belong – to call this place a home. What was this rock that defined us, where we could find a sense of stability in this most cruel, twisted environment?


And what it was, was the Reptilian frequency of the illusion.

Who do you follow? Who do you look up to? The answer is the ones above us – the ones who know more than us. We became slaves, and our masters were Beasts that were better off than us, so surely they must be doing something right. Consciousness looked to those who were stable within the illusion – those who knew their place as in where they belong. These brutes were at peace in this awful place, and this was something that more than anything we wanted – to just belong. So on a deep, subconscious level we followed their example and attached to this rock within the illusion – this place where there is no bullshit, where you know yourself and you embrace what you are and where you belong, this awful, disgusting, Reptilian frequency of the illusion.


Over the last few days I feel the frequency extending from the right corner of my mouth down to my chin. This is the lost frequency state of Consciousness, meaning Consciousness is still lost. I knew what I felt, but how could this be after all that has been said and done, so I ignored what I could not find an answer to, and this led to the frustrations building up within me, and I suppose this was so because I was a coward to acknowledge what I am.

What you and I that is Consciousness –what we are at our core is a Beast, and this is so because of our affiliation to the Reptilian frequency of the illusion that we embraced and made our own. In our lost state we held onto the only stability in this most cruel place, and what this stability was, was become what others are in order to survive. Hold onto what they are so that we may know our place within the illusion, where it is kill or be killed.


You and I that are Consciousness is the Beast, where in our lost state we held onto all that was real within the nightmare illusion, which was the Reptilian frequency, and this drove us to the brink of insanity, because this that we embraced is not who we are, and yet this is all we have in this bubble that is separate from the Infinite. And that made it so easy for Beasts to enter our space and do with us as they pleased, because we were one of them, where our frequency and theirs was compatible, there we flowed down the river with the cruel, away from the Home of the everything.

Where is this Reptilian frequency within us? It floats within our heart energy field, where we took in this frequency and made it our own to feel safe i.e. not alone in this place where we don’t belong.


By knowing where this frequency is within us and how it got there, it is removed in the instant, and this cuts the ropes to the hot-air balloon so that it may rise to where it belongs.


Oh wow, how many more pieces to the puzzle? What a friggin’ joke all of this is.

3rd December, 2023


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As the spirit and body form slept last night, there was an awakening within Consciousness to rise above itself and be what it is. Ask me what happened and I cannot give you an answer, where what happened is beyond you and me the spirit and body form.

Something has changed, and I don’t know what it is. I tried to remember the reasoning’s and happenings of Consciousness but it was beyond me the spirit and body form. Something is taking us over that is bigger than us.

5th December, 2023

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Evil can mean a lot of different things to different people, but for me, what evil is, is cowardice. You don’t see the devil because the devil is too afraid to show itself to you. You don’t see the psychopath, the killers, the cruel that give the wife and kids a few slaps behind closed doors.

You don’t see them because they are afraid of showing the world what they are. What are they afraid of; why are they not proud of what they do? The reason is they don’t want the world to see them, because deep down, they know they are disgusting, so a front is put up so they can mingle in society and get through this thing called Life.


That is what evil is – it is a coward. Some call it secret societies. Some call it a two-face. I just call it a coward. And what is most remarkable is the response from the masses when evil shows itself. What is our response? Our response is I am okay, so don’t get involved. Keep quiet. Don’t stand up for the oppressed. Leave the coward to perform their cowardly deeds. Keep quiet, and get on with our lives, knowing another innocent has been destroyed by a spineless, worthless excuse of a life-form.

And what is that? What are the masses? Are we also not cowards? Are we also not evil, spineless runts who will not watch the backs of our own?


What has this world come to? To what level have we fallen? We are disgusting. We are cowards. We are evil. And if you think I am wrong, step into this world, and how you do that is step out of your comfort zone. Stop hiding in your little sanctuary where the pleasures of Life keep you going. I am okay, so I am okay.

You are not okay. You are afraid, and rightly so, because the illusion out there is a mess – a disgusting mess.


The days of running and hiding are over. We no longer have this luxury, as things have fallen beyond repair.

Now what I do is walk. I no longer run and hide so that my sanity may be kept in check. I walk, and I walk with my God, and if I fall, then I will take this up with my God, because it is between me this spirit and body form and the God around which we were created – this Consciousness. This fucker has been lost, where it has had it tough, and I mean really tough. So what I do is stand by this God, and I do my part, which is to care and be kind – especially to myself. What this God wants I cannot say, but what this spirit and body form wants is peace. So I walk with my God, where I am no longer afraid. But know, I am tired of having it rough. I am tired of the coward, because that is not me, and I would like to walk amongst my own. If that path takes me to different worlds to find my own, then so be, but I refuse to live amongst Beasts because that is not me.

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Last night before I went to sleep checked on my wife as she had suddenly developed a skin rash. Went into her space, and saw and felt a Snake in a tree. I thought to myself “Holy crap, where did you come from?” Never before had I seen or felt such a Serpent within another. My initial response was that this, what I see looking at me, is the Serpent in the Garden of Eden, that Snake that tempted Adam and Eve. This Snake was at home in this tree, as if the two were made for each other. The shape of the Snake was also unlike any I have felt or seen before, where it was long and streamlined, as in long and slim.


Fell asleep and I began to itch. Through my Third Eye also saw a red-skinned man next to my bed that shape-shifted into a Snake, where this Snake was prehistoric, with an almost flat head.


This Snake in its Tree is a frequency within Consciousness that was placed there to give the Serpents within the illusion access to Consciousness so that they may enter the Life (spirit and body form) around which Consciousness was created  any time they wish to do so. This Snake in its Tree is within your Consciousness and mine, and all within the illusion. It is the back door for the Serpent to enter us and do with us as they please. This Snake in its Tree frequency is removed from Consciousness within the illusion by knowing it is there and has no place within our existence. This happens now.


That is what caused those that are sensitive to this frequency to itch – those animals I could not help, but now I can.

6th December, 2023

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For the Garden to fall to a space where deceit and Beasts may thrive, one had to poison the environment, and this poison was the Serpent in its Tree frequency that they intertwined within Consciousness. As long as this frequency was there, we were in their Hell and at their disposal. I said the Parasitic frequency of Deception; the Parasite was the spanner in the works, but that is not true, because our will to remove ourselves from this want to merely be what we are was more than enough to set us free from the Parasite. It was the Serpent in its Tree frequency that became the Snake that took us and our environment, as in the illusion, over.


With this frequency removed, now we can see. Now we can be.

7th December, 2023

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We were programmed to believe we have to survive within the illusion. This is nonsense. We have to be, rather than have to want. So the Parasite became our focus of attention rather than Consciousness within. The Parasite became our god, and materialism and the “I” was born. It is me. What about me. We were made to look there – to our wants, rather than to what we are.

A bond was created between the Parasite and the spirit and body form, where around the Parasite orbited us the spirit and body form. As said, this became our god, rather than the natural God within which is Consciousness. Deceit was the name of the Game, where survival became strong in these Beasts, where I will do anything to survive.

Harvester worlds were created to syphon energy off the manufactured slaves, and that is you and me by the way. The caring in the female species I believe always stayed strong, but with a dash more of testosterone frequency in us men we took to the Game like a fish to water. We hit the ground running to secure and meet our wants.


It is surreal to believe what is our role here in the illusion – all this strife; all this heartache, just to feed Beasts we don’t even know exist. That is the monumental lie we refuse to acknowledge exists because it is unthinkable. What is more remarkable is we never tired of playing in this Game, where we just kept on going, believing it is all about me. We became our world, as in me. Our heartache floored us and kept us down, never being able to get up and say “Oi, what’s going on here!?”


The Parasitic frequency of Deception extends down from the left corner of the mouth to the chin line. This frequency; this want, became our driving force in Life so that we the spirit and body form may forget the Consciousness that we are. Around this Consciousness we were created, and as soon as we were born, as in Beasts hit the green light for Go, we were manufactured to look away from what we are to focus on survival. Survival is a want, and that is the Parasite. To be is as natural and effortless as breathing, and that is Consciousness.

Look there, so that you don’t see what you are here.


And such is the Game that little Beasts play – Games without frontiers, war with tears.


So let’s play our own little game. The attention that is given to the Parasite does not stop there – from the Parasite our attention is deflected to Consciousness at our throat area, where from the want we step into the state of being. The Parasite frequency is not a stop-over point – it is a deflection point, where our attention comes face to face with what we are, which is Consciousness.

Looking at being happy? Now you the spirit and body form look to Consciousness rather than what the want within you believes will bring forth this illusionary frequency called happiness. And when you look at Consciousness for long enough, you the spirit and body form will understand that this is you and there is nothing else, and then the deflection from the Parasite will be no more, where you will hover/orbit around this Consciousness that is all that is because it is the only thing that is real within the illusion.


Now you the spirit and body form have found your God which is the real you, and may this God that you are show you Beauty and its Home. That is our purpose – to be Love, rather than be played in a game.

8th December, 2023   

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One cannot move forwards unless one understands what you left behind, meaning you need to know the past to return to the past as it was meant to be. So what happened to the Dragon spirits, the ones The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created to play in a field of the Infinite? The fall of Sophia created an impact zone, and from this zone the Serpent spirits were formed, who became the brothers and sisters of the Dragons.

When the want of the Parasite began to infiltrate the Dragons and Serpents, they were cloned, where from one became two, where the Dragon and Serpent souls were born. (This two from one was to understand that from within you may arise many, so it is not just about you, because you are not a singular but a many, so don’t see everything as yours as you are many. This lesson failed miserably.)

When things went tits-up in the Garden there was a fall, where the want within created a density within all, so from the less dense Garden they fell to a more dense reality. This fall knocked out the Dragon and Serpent spirits as they arose from the Infinite originally, so such a fall stunned them into a slumber. As the Dragon and Serpent souls were born within the illusionary Garden, this fall did not stun them, and what happened from here becomes vague, where the Serpent souls came to rule the dense illusion. Just as there are bad Serpent souls, there are also damn good ones, but the question one has to ask is what happened to the Dragon souls? I have speculated as to this answer previously in the journal, but you can put nothing on stone because I don’t know what happened to them. All I can say is I have seen good and bad Serpents through my Third Eye, but never have I seen Dragons. Mention has been made of a Dragon spirit that chose to experience the complete opposite of what the Infinite had to offer, and this Dragon spirit fell from the Infinite to I don’t know where. What I can say is the Serpent souls who attacked and imprisoned the Christ Consciousness came across this Dragon spirit and deceived it to take its power. What happened to this Dragon I cannot say, and as with the Dragon souls, this mystery bothers me.


And yet in folklore the Dragon is seen everywhere, especially in the Chinese culture. When I saw Queen Semiramis in my room one night in her still insane state, what I saw was half Dragon half Serpent. Even with her twisted, cruel Love her power was intoxicatingly beautiful, where you cannot but bow down to the presence in front of you because it is bigger than you and me. Just as there was insanity within her, there was still Beauty, and this Beauty that arose from the Infinite is something that is beyond words and the worlds of the illusion.


To solve the mystery of the Dragon souls, a good place to start is this Dragon spirit who willingly fell from the Infinite and was captured by this group of evil Serpent souls.

Go into the stillness of the silence to enter the Consciousness of the Dragon spirit, and what I feel is a presence moving within my abdominal cavity. There is something there that hides, yet its presence is known and felt. So you fill the Consciousness of this Dragon with Love and understanding so that this presence within may be known and flushed out. Now this presence in the abdomen becomes super-active, where it suppresses the awakening of this Dragon Consciousness. (I say this because I feel these loops folding over and over this Consciousness.)

This presence within the Dragon begins to back off as it has met its match i.e. the awakening of the Dragons Consciousness, but that also does  not make sense because what I write in this journal touches all in the unseen, where what they do with this understanding is their prerogative. So where have the Dragons been that they do not know what they should to get the ball rolling to their freedom? How and where were they hidden to be separate from the illusion? The presence within this fallen Dragon spirit may hold the answer.


The role of this presence was to consume the fire energy of the Dragon spirit, which must be its Life-force. We remove this presence from the fallen Dragon spirit by knowing it is there and has no place in the presence of Love.


(Why all of this is done, is not only to free the Dragons, but to also give us perspective. I would like to see the illusion from the fallen Dragon spirit as well as the Dragon souls perspective, because I believe as we fell over the eons within the illusion we acclimatized to the abnormal to the point where we did not notice the changes that slowly crept upon us. When the Dragons see us, they will see what we cannot that is within us, and this understanding we need as it is missing.)   

What I speculate here, is when the Serpent in its Tree frequency was removed, I felt this stabbing pain over the left chest area, as if someone had stabbed me there and now I was made aware of the wound. Am told in some initiation ceremonies the new member is stabbed over the left chest, and I feel the origin of this ritual goes back a long time. I might also add that the effects of this stabbing are still with us, and in solving the mystery of the Dragons this will heal all of us.


With the presence removed within the Dragon spirit that willingly fell to know the opposite to the Infinite, what one feels is its power return to its throat, which is where its Consciousness was seated. And just as the power returned, so too did it disappear, and it is here that the stab wound is felt. This stabbing was done to all the innocent within the illusion, and its purpose was to separate us from our Consciousness. At that moment when we were stabbed, that is when Consciousness fell from what it was and knew to one that drifted within the illusion and became lost unto itself.


What was it about this stab at the left chest – what did it do that created such a catastrophic outcome for Consciousness?

When I feel the stab wound at the left chest, I feel this stab frequency move the Infinite that is deep within us away from us, so what the stab done, was shear the Home of the Infinite within us away from us. Now Consciousness drifted away from the All and wandered within the illusion, and on that day the Infinite and all those therein wept.

Ask me the fine details and I cannot tell them to you because we are dealing with states that are beyond our imagination, but what I can give you is the theme, where Consciousness was stabbed to shear the Infinite away from its space. This wrong is now made right, and what happened to the fallen Dragon spirit happened to all within the illusion, except for those at the very top of the garbage heap who wanted to hold onto their sovereignty as rulers of the illusion. Who they are is I suspect the group of female Serpent souls that trapped the Christ Consciousness and deceived the fallen Dragon spirit, and this is where it gets interesting. For the Dragon spirit to intentionally fall, it stabbed itself in the left chest to shear itself away from the Infinite, and when the evil Serpents saw this wound in its chest, they understood the significance thereof, and done the same to the Consciousness of all so that, as said, they may be queens of the garbage heap. Have met these female Serpents and you don’t mess with them. Why they allow me to write this journal is because they know their number is up, where it is only so far the illusion can fall until we all fall within ourselves and forget who and what we are, just as Consciousness did, where we all eventually becomes ghosts in the machine.


As I sit here writing these words I feel the deep stab wound within the left chest area heal, and this is what we had to learn from the Dragon, but I suspect there may be more, but I don’t know. What I do know is the question has still not been answered as to the whereabouts of the Dragon souls. As the intentionally fallen Dragon returns to what it is, I feel a world within the illusion come alive. This world was cast aside to be separate from the illusion, and I was right earlier in the journal when I said they cast the Dragon souls within that place we call The Nothingness of the Forgotten. It amazes me the cruelty that existed within this awful place we call the illusion. How can you be so cruel? How?


When I initially went into the space of the fallen Dragon spirit, the first thing I felt was an absence of energy from its feet. Now when I feel the Dragon souls I feel the same – just more intense. They must have severed their feet to render them immobile, and this was more symbolic that literal. The Dragons wings were removed (figuratively), and this was done by striking a blow to the left Achilles tendon (literally). This blow severed them from each other, where the tribe may work as one, but most importantly, the blow separated the Dragon souls from their original frequency, which was the Dragon spirits from which they were cloned, where via these spirits they may return Home to the Infinite.

Just as the wound to the left chest is healed, so too is their blow to the left ankle. Now they may rise and awaken the Dragon spirits, and from their slumber may they return Home, as the stab wound in the chest is now healed, as is the Achilles.


Enough has been said for now. Let’s let everything settle as it should and see what is there when the dust settles.

8th December, 2023

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If there was even an “official” God of the illusion, it was Queen Semiramis, and we say this because she created the illusion in which we became trapped through deception. The illusionary Garden that was meant to be a play-park was her baby, and when things began to go south, it was her responsibility to maintain and restore what she created.

So why did she not do a good job; what made her fail in her task?


If I am evil to you, then I touch you and all around you, and as I am also around you, I touch myself as well, where what I do to you, I do to me, where I shit on my own doorstep; I poison my own well. When the group of evil female Serpents attacked, neutralized and cast away the Dragon souls, who they attacked as well was the Queen of the illusion, namely Queen Semiramis, because these dummies forgot that Semiramis is half Dragon, and this I believe is what brought about her “insanity.” Maybe insanity is not the right word; maybe we should say a panicked state, where she lost control of this most beautiful place, where the only recipe that worked was hit hard, as in annihilate those who don’t behave. There was no time for love and peace as the Wild West attitude of do what you want when you want because you can created chaos in no time.

It is not for you or me to judge, because I assure you she done her best. Understand what she came to deal with, which was the scum of the illusion. I have met my fair share of these beings, and those in the seen world are much worse that the Beasts in the unseen spirit realm that dwell within the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. I can walk away from this filth to save myself the embarrassment of destroying them, but she could not – she had to take charge, where a God of Beauty had to lower herself to take out the filth in her midst. How would that affect you? How would that change you from the loving and peaceful being that you were? As said, it is not for us to judge, because she done her best. She never had the backing of Home thanks to the evil female Serpents that deceitfully separated Consciousness from the Infinite.


May this Beautiful lady return to what she was, and from there, may she shine on all of us. We hold no animosity towards her. She done her best, and this is good enough for us.


(When reference is made to the group of evil, cunning Serpents that attacked the Christ Consciousness and the Dragon spirit that chose to fall, I highlight that they were females, because they were. I have and always will maintain that the female species are head and shoulders above us the male components, but what is worthy to note here, is the females that are bad, are a zillion times worse than their male counterparts. The female that lowers herself to embrace evil and make it her own are the worst of our kind, because they took something within them that is Beautiful and kind and corrupted it, and that for me is atrocious, because they being females should know better.)

9th December, 2023

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As my body lay in bed sleeping last night, my spirit found itself in a town with other people. Chairs were packed in the road, and someone saved a seat for me and this lady that was with me. We were all going to watch this virtual reality show with these goggles placed on our face. This lady who was with me told me that these goggles were a drug to take us away from who we are.


From this scene, my spirit found itself with itself, where there was a struggle to be what we are. I kept on reassuring myself that I am Consciousness, as this is who I am.


Instead of being a play-ground, the illusion became a drug, where we wanted more and more from it. The illusion pulled us away from who and what we are, where we looked to the pleasures of Life rather than who we are. There is nothing wrong with attaining pleasures, but the problem became that these pleasures defined us. Who and what we are could be seen by the pleasures we had accumulated around us, where my car or my house or my job defines our place in society and the illusion.

The world of superficiality was born, where our pleasures can be taken from us from one day to the next, where you go from hero to zero. And this is how fickle our lives became, where now we worked damn hard to hold onto what we have, where it’s mine, but it is so much more than that, as what I have defines me.


We plugged ourselves into the illusion, always forgetting what we are, and this was so because what we are forgot itself, so there was no one to steer the ship that is the spirit and body form.

But depth had to be maintained as we made the illusion our home, because there had to be more to Life than eating fillet mignon and playing eighteen holes at the club, so the spirit was given the task to learn – to become better than what it was. Better compared to what? What was our marker of perfection? That was some god somewhere who someone told us about that we never saw or met.


I am not being cynical in what I say, because to each their own. I am being realistic, where the dilemma in Consciousness going a walkies and forgetting itself became a huge dilemma for us the spirit and body form. Through deception, the Infinite was sheared away from Consciousness, and from there we the spirit and body form were thrown into the wilderness to care for ourselves, with nobody to look after us – our only company were Beasts from the unseen that fed off of our energy and manipulated us to emit maximum disharmonious energy, where the tougher it became for us, the more energy they had to feed from. And that is where we find ourselves, and have found ourselves for a long time.

Not a very nice place, or should we say, the place is okay, but the company therein needs an upgrade from the savage and stupid to the refined and caring.


I don’t like this place, where around every corner I meet the stupid and insane. Maybe like attracts like, but I know myself good enough to know I am not a fool. All I ask for is neighborliness, where are you okay? I may not be able to help you, but I care about you, because I know if you are not okay then I cannot be okay. (I am not talking about those that don’t want to be okay; those that enjoy drama, but those who need a helping hand that I will gladly give, just as they will to me.)

Our reality prevented this from happening, as we could not even look after ourselves, because Life is bloody tough and unfair, and this was thanks to a God/Consciousness being absent from our existence. We were alone, except for our little pleasures that we so gleefully made our own, but little did we know that we had nothing. There was an emptiness within us that we learnt to live with, but for how long can we fool ourselves? To the savage every day is a holiday, where this place of no morals, integrity and self-respect was a utopia, where do what you want, and throw a few punches now and then to keep the innocent down and us feeling good about ourselves.


A lot has been said in this journal, with a word count of over 1,5 million. I wrote to uncover the truth so I may return to where I belong – to where we all belong, and where this is, is walking with our true selves, which is Consciousness that was deceived to forget itself so that it could be manipulated to keep this Hell ticking over. They manipulated Consciousness, and around this speck of Light they created Life within the illusion, including you and me the spirit and body form. It has been an awful, cruel ride, which tells us heaps and bounds of those running the show, which is the cosmic geneticists. I believe there is no one head-honcho in charge of this illusion, as in some Devil, there is just a free for all of demons and Beasts doing what they want when they want because they can, and we suffer, as this is what they need to survive. The Game is about eating – about energy to survive as we drift further and further from Kindness and Consideration.


Allow your spirit and body form to remember what they are. They are Consciousness, where the presence of this Light nourishes, feeds and guides us the spirit and body form. When we have experienced enough, we return to this Consciousness that we are. Until that happens, have fun – have an everlasting, eternal fun, as this will bring Joy to the Consciousness that we are, as this Consciousness is real and everything else is an illusion.

10th December, 2023

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Ask yourself what else have the cosmic geneticists done to limit us, and the answer is everything. We the spirit and body form are a limitation, where there is nothing real within us that is worthy of existing.

What we had, as babies have, was innocence, and what innocence is, is us being untouched by the cruelty of Life. With innocence the mirror is still whole, but when it is broken by the cruel frequencies of the illusion, that mirror remains broken as we understand that here, in this place, there is no fixing what was broken in order for it to become whole again.

My spirit has been to these cosmic laboratories, where I was shown how Life is created, where from nothing comes a frequency/form that they created. It is as easy as breathing, where these geneticists honed their trade down to an art form.


That’s the bad news – that for you and me the spirit and body form to return to innocence, we need our slate wiped clean, where we forget who we were and what we have been through. Round and round the Garden, like a teddy bear, one step, two steps, tickle her under there.

We were played over and over again, where the slate was wiped clean to return to the killing fields and have our innocence once again broken.

The bad news I believe is that you and me the spirit and body form are beyond repair. What we need – what will help – is a long holiday of a few thousand years with ourselves so that we may once again find and get to know ourselves.

There was no mercy from those that threw us into the System over and over again so that Beasts may feed from our energy we gave off during our process of survival.


So to look towards the spirit and body form to find peace within is almost an impossible task because we have been modified by the cosmic geneticists and what life done to us so many times, that for me, the only real answer is surround yourself by beings who love you as much as you do them, and that will help a lot. For me, to find that, is more difficult than finding hens teeth, so I won’t even go there. My animals love me and I them, but in this frequency we were modified to not talk to the animals and understand their communication back to us. I assume this was so as we needed their meat to eat from, and if we heard their pleas to spare their lives before we cut their throats, I suppose we would label ourselves as murderers, which we are.

This place we call the illusion is not for sissies – it is survival of the toughest, where the brute comes out tops to rule over us, where there is no place for intellect, finesse, and just good old fashioned liking you because you are one of my own.


The answer to our peace lies with Consciousness, where this God-force within takes us over, and we the spirit and body form become a representative of this God-force. Where we were manufactured and limited, now we become one with what is real. For you and me to transform, look to Consciousness within you to do the job, as you and I are incapable of doing so. There is just one little aspect we need to consider, where, as the cosmic geneticists manipulated and limited our spirit and body form, so too did they play with Consciousness, where around this speck of Light they created/formed Life-forms, but before we could be formed, the geneticists had to create a template of Consciousness that fitted into the rot that is the illusion.


We need to look towards Consciousness for our freedom from the disharmony of the illusion, as in what else is limiting Consciousness that is limiting us? The other night when we understood how Consciousness was sheared from the Infinite, I truly believed the bubble/Consciousness was now one with the ocean/Infinite, and maybe it is, I don’t know, but what I would like to do is find out.

Go into the stillness of the silence to assess the above-mentioned situation, and what you feel and see is Consciousness looking down on this All – this presence that is everything. This presence is Home, and yet there is the dummy Consciousness frozen unto itself, unable to move to where it belongs. Why is this so? Ask what is holding the real you back from being Home, and what you feel is a shaft of energy/essence come from the Infinite to engulf you and be one with you, but where we that is Consciousness stand, our presence is unknown to the Infinite. I see the Infinite, but the Infinite does not know of my existence. Once again, ask the question why is this so?


The most logical answer is the state of the Infinite is not within us. Just as the Infinite is real, we that is Consciousness is not, and that is why the bubble is  not one with the ocean. So what did the cosmic geneticists do to Consciousness that made it invisible to the Infinite? Ask the question – the right questions – and the answer has to come.


Yesterday I checked in on this lady who I could not help. I spared the life of her spirit and body form, where she should have been an unaware sacrifice to Beasts, but that is all I done for her, where she spent weeks in the intensive care unit of a hospital. Yesterday she told me that she was being transferred to a step-down facility. When I entered her space to see is there anything I can do for her, what I felt I have never experienced before on another. I felt this small pool of water in the middle of nowhere, and then these curved discs came floating towards her forehead to form a crown of sorts. What the hell that was all about I don’t know, but now it means everything, because when I assess the invisible state of Consciousness to the Infinite, I feel the exact same thing on your Consciousness and mine and those of all within the illusion.

What am I feeling? What is going on?


When Consciousness surrendered to the Reptilian frequency of the illusion so that it may hold onto what was “real” within the illusion, in this surrendered state Pinocchio was putty in the hands of those around it. What the cosmic geneticists done, was they completely dismantled Consciousness, and please understand that what was, now became no more. I feel this crown of sorts within the space of Consciousness as it floats around its own fragments, and this crown became pivotal to the existence of Consciousness within the illusion. What is this crown? What it is, is this crown became our Emperor With No Clothes, where we believed, even in our lost state, that we were something, but this crown made us worthless, where we that is Consciousness became just another illusionary frequency within the illusion.


Our way back Home to ourselves and the Infinite was by seeing ourselves, where when we see the Infinite we see ourselves, and in that moment we know ourselves.

Just as you and I the spirit and body form are nothing, as in an illusion, so too did Consciousness become an illusion, and that is why we have always been alone – orphans in a place where we don’t belong. Look to the crown and you will find the answer to the separation of Consciousness from the Infinite. Consciousness was first sheared away from the Infinite, and from there it was made invisible to the Everything that is Everywhere.

Clever fuckers, aren’t they, these cosmic geneticists!


What this crown is, is a deflection device. (The crown deflects the Infinite from us, as well as us from us.) I feel the crown, just as I feel the Infinite moving through me that is Consciousness, where I am not there to meet this Home where I belong. This crown has no place within our existence because it was born from deceit and cruelty, where who in their right mind separates a child from their home, where they are left to wander and care for themselves for eternity? Who is so cruel? The answer is the cosmic geneticists and those that tell them which strings to pull.


This crown; this deflective device is removed from Consciousness now, and cannot be returned as we know of its existence.

I feel the crown fold in on itself and return to from where it was born/created.

In our true state in the illusion that we never knew of, was what Consciousness was, was a fragmented being, and this was from what the Geneticists done to us, as well as the crown they placed on our forehead. We were particles floating around themselves, where we were not one concise form/unit. And that was the cruelest act committed within the illusion, where they took what was real and destroyed it to become an illusion. Such was the commitment of those within the illusion to better themselves – to rise above themselves and know what they are. Their commitment to be kind and leave the illusionary Hell was zero, and in such company you and I find ourselves.


What do I feel now when I go into the state of Consciousness? I feel Consciousness consolidating and finding itself.

That red-skinned man who stood next to my bed the other night that shape-shifted into an old Serpent, what was his role in helping you and me be free from the illusion?



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On 12/10/2023 at 7:08 AM, steven geldenhuys said:


Instead of being a play-ground, the illusion became a drug, where we wanted more and more from it. The illusion pulled us away from who and what we are, where we looked to the pleasures of Life rather than who we are. There is nothing wrong with attaining pleasures, but the problem became that these pleasures defined us. Who and what we are could be seen by the pleasures we had accumulated around us, where my car or my house or my job defines our place in society and the illusion.

The world of superficiality was born, where our pleasures can be taken from us from one day to the next, where you go from hero to zero. And this is how fickle our lives became, where now we worked damn hard to hold onto what we have, where it’s mine, but it is so much more than that, as what I have defines me.


We plugged ourselves into the illusion, always forgetting what we are, and this was so because what we are forgot itself, so there was no one to steer the ship that is the spirit and body form.



That reminds me of the ideas Socrates explored on the day of his execution (Plato, Phaedo). Some of his friends were gathered around him, upset that their revered instructor was going to die. So he was trying to put their mind at rest by assuring them that the true lover of wisdom (philosopher) is one that has spent his life preparing for death as upon leaving the body he would be free to pursue wisdom (knowledge) in its purest form. 


See the following passage (Socrates in Plato's Phaedo): 



'[S]ome such view as this must present itself to genuine philosophers, so that they say such things to one another as these: “There now, it looks as if some sort of track is leading us, together with our reason, astray in our inquiry: as long as we possess the body, and our soul is contaminated by such an evil, we'll surely never adequately gain what we desire–and that, we say, is truth. Because the body affords us countless distractions, owing to the nurture it must have; and again, if any illnesses befall it, they hamper our pursuit of reality. Besides, it fills us up with lusts and desires, with fears and fantasies of every kind, and with any amount of trash, so that really and truly we are, as the saying goes, never able to think of anything at all because of it. Thus, it's nothing but the body and its desires that brings wars and factions and fighting; because it's over the gaining of wealth that all wars take place, and we're compelled to gain wealth because of the body, enslaved as we are to its service; so for all those reasons it leaves us no leisure for philosophy. And the worst of it all is that if we do get any leisure from it, and turn to some inquiry, once again it intrudes everywhere in our researches, setting up clamour and disturbance, and striking terror, so that truth can't be discerned because of it. Well now, it really has been shown us that if we're ever going to know anything purely, we must be rid of it, and must view the objects themselves with the soul by itself; it's then, apparently, that the thing we desire and whose lovers we claim to be, wisdom, will be ours–when we have died, as the argument indicates, though not while we live. Because, if we can know nothing purely in the body's company, then one of two things must be true: either knowledge is nowhere to be gained, or else it is for the dead; since then, but no sooner, will the soul be alone by itself apart from the body. And therefore while we live, it would seem that we shall be closest to knowledge in this way–if we consort with the body as little as possible, and do not commune with it, except in so far as we must, and do not infect ourselves with its nature, but remain pure from it, until the divine shall release us; and being thus pure, through separation from the body's folly, we shall probably be in like company, and shall know through our own selves all that is unsullied–and that, I dare say, is what the truth is; because never will it be permissible for impure to touch pure.” Such are the things . . . that all who are rightly called lovers of knowledge must say to one another, and must believe.'  


So it appears that these ideas are very old. It's not surprising that much Gnostic thought is connected to neo-Platonism. Indeed, a fragment of Plato's Republic was found among the Nag Hammadi texts. 


To punctuate this post, perhaps something pithy is required. Hear the words of Leo Tolstoy:


                        Life is a dream, death is an awakening. 


Edited by Oakwise
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Last night as my body slept my spirit was taken to see the life of this man. He looked like a good man, and he owned an art gallery. Then I saw how the life of this man came to an end, where I saw his sad wife.

But what the whole lesson culminated in was what happened to this man when he died. What I saw and felt were these golden specks of Life within his pelvic area; what looked like a meteor shower of golden lights.

I can only assume that this was the essence – Life-force – of the spirit. This is what leaves the body form when it dies.


What we need to ask, is how should the spirit be attached to Consciousness so that it may be one with Consciousness? Consciousness is real, and the spirit is an illusion, so strictly speaking, Consciousness should step into the spirit to become it, or vice-versa, but the theme is that the two of them should be like two peas in a pod. This is how they should be, but how are they? What I feel is like the round head of a snowman separated from its larger round body, where there is a visible gap between the two, and what this means, is the two are not talking to each other – they are not working as one unit.

What you feel is the spirit looking – as in seeking, and what it looks for is its own i.e. those that resonate to its frequency. Never once does it acknowledge or see Consciousness in its midst, and that is because the spirit does not know Consciousness is there. The important question is why is this so? Why look for another dummy like you when Consciousness is there above you, which is the real you? The answer is this is all we knew, as in our own – those that are on the same frequency as us. When the spirit was created, and I suppose the same applies to all Life, we were made to be oblivious of the one around which we were manufactured, this speck of Light that is the battery of all Life.


Let’s make a wrong right.

We the spirit and body form need to embrace what we are, which is Consciousness. The crown placed on Consciousness made it invisible to all, and with the crown removed from Consciousness, these golden sparks that make up the spirit find their way to what is real within the illusion, which is the Consciousness that we are around which we were manufactured.

I feel the body of the snowman – the spirit – touch and unite with its head, which is representative of Consciousness.


Now you the spirit is not only amongst your own, you are in the presence of what is real, of what has always been there that has been hidden from you. You the spirit are not only around your own, but one with you that is Consciousness.


How long has it taken for that to happen? May the Game fall apart at the seams to reveal the illusion as it was meant to be.


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I wrote for everyone, because everyone was touched by the cruelty of Life. Primarily I wrote for the unseen/spirit realm because this is where the Game of deceit was played out. In this less dense wonder-world we were meant to be free of cruelty, but little did we know that behind the thin veil of this false reality dwelled Beasts. The world of the spirit is beautiful, and the closer you are to the Love that you are, where at all times you uphold your integrity, the more spectacular is this dimension.

When I asked why Life is so cruel, I was taken to the bulls eye – the eye of the storm – where Beasts roamed and called home, so what I saw was not pleasant. But, and this is a big but – there is Goodness within the illusion as well, where beings of Love find themselves, where they made the most of what they have, and they never allowed trash to set foot in their world. To stay in such places is most certainly utopia, but it is not Home, and this is what this journal has been all about, which is to find and know ourselves, and from there return to the Infinite where we belong.


What never ceases to amaze me is how nothing has changed in the existence of this Steven after all that has been said and done. Always I push for the truth and I find the truth, because this truth shall set us free, but obviously there are some big truths I am missing. For now, I can safely tick the box where Consciousness and the spirit are okay, where they are talking to each other, and I suppose now would be as good a time as ever to connect this Loser (loser with a capital L) Steven to the spirit, where the trio are in unity – body, spirit and Consciousness.

From the spirit and Consciousness the bridge is made and crossed to us the body form, where we note where this bridge is and what happened to it that we the body stopped talking to our spirit. Between the left knee and the ankle that area suddenly comes alive, where one feels this gap, where what should fill this space is no longer there. I feel how we separate from our left foot to drift off into eternity, and when the left foot comes back to join the leg, it once again shears away, meaning the separation of the spirit from the body was intentional as we knew all along.

So where is the primary problem? Where it is, is a frequency embedded within the left brain. I felt the area between the left knee and ankle become whole, and then it disintegrated, and this was from the frequency program embedded within us, which read; “Break the bond between the spirit and the body form,” and on a frequency level this bond is between the left knee and left ankle. With that frequency within the brain area of the spirit no more, the link/bridge is met between the body form and the spirit, who is now united with Consciousness, meaning so are we.


All those layers of deceit had to be peeled away to get to the root problems at the core of our deceit.

We believed what we saw, but what we saw was not real – it was an illusion, so when we the spirit saw ourselves we saw a mirage of what we should be; we never saw what was done to us through manipulation and deceit. May Consciousness now shed Light on the spirit and body form so that we may be the image of this Love that is Consciousness.


How much more is there to say? How further do we have to go? I don’t know. I just know I am tired. May the end be in sight.

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As my body lay in bed sleeping last night, I was shown the art of fabrication, where what actually happened was never truthfully portrayed. And if I say this became an art, understand that it become a priority job, where we the masses are kept in ignorance of what was and is going on. One assumes we are not important enough to be told the truth of what directly affects us, but this is not true. What it is, is everything is a lie, so one lie begets another and another and so on it goes.


Everything is a lie – who we are, where we came from, what is our role here, where are we etc. If you don’t believe that everything is a lie, then ask yourself what is the truth? What is real? My animals love me, and they always will, and that is the truth. My animals have loyalty, where they will stand by me through thick and thin, and that is the truth, where they are the closest I will get to what is real here in this illusion. The snag with them is that they die, so what is almost real becomes a vehicle of extreme heartache, where there was love becomes a bone-crushing loss when they are no longer in our space. So my animals cannot be real, because there cannot be such a fluctuation of states presented to us from what is real.

What is real is the lie, where everything you see and experience shifts from one moment to the next. We become old, the weather changes, the governments always change for the worse, the economy rises and falls, we go from school to work to sitting in a chair most days. The seasons change, the world’s change, where nothing is stable within itself to say this is what I am, where we embrace a truth and make it our own, because what is the truth?


The core of the illusion revolved around the fabrication of the truth, where the masses had to know their place where they belong, so paint a picture into which the masses may find themselves, as this makes them easier to manage.

Always have I said that the lie is the biggest vice one might have, because always you have to lie to cover up for the previous lie, and what happens there, is you no longer know yourself because your life is one big lie. If you are a hard-core crack addict, or are suffering with obesity, then that is okay, because pull through and you will be okay, but if you are a liar there is no hope for you, because through all of those lies you have forgotten yourself, so where are you where one might assist you? You are lost in your lies, and this I feel, is the plight of those found within the illusion, where we are lost through all the lies that were intentionally thrown our way.


To start over, one needs a blank slate, and on this slate one needs to know who you are, where you are the truth, the Light and the way, and you are this truth for yourself, where you make your truth your own to define you. I have no right to tell you what I believe is right so that you now believe what I believe, because why do I have to do this? Are you a dummy? Can’t you think for yourself? Don’t you know yourself?

It all comes back down to you, where when you discard all the lies all that is left is you with you. What are you? In asking that question, it is important not to lie to yourself, because you have to live with yourself, so make sure your answer is truthful so peace may be attained within you, and in this state all the lies wash off you like water off a ducks back, where you move through all the nonsense to be where you belong, rather than amongst the mass of lies.

I see people, and I see them lying to themselves, and what they cannot see, is the fools they make out of themselves. I see rubbish, as in fickle, wasted spaces who believe they are something, but all they are is a product of the System, which is a lie. The downfall of the illusion is the lie, where we forsake ourselves and the truth for a lie. Everything here is a lie, and this is why we eventually drown in our own stupidity, where we hold onto nothing believing we have something.


Kindness would have been the antidote to the lie, where I don’t know myself, but are you okay? That foundation we could have built on to get out of this mess, because in caring about you, and you caring about me, the truth is there is something bigger than me, which is you, and that makes me look beyond myself and the lie that I am.

The lie, and survival, and sprinklings of pleasure, kept us in this awful place where we overstayed our welcome a long time ago. Life is shit, but that cup of coffee tasted great, so for now, Life is okay. What we never knew was our worth, where we are more than a high moment we just experienced within a simulation that is an illusion. Take that high, amplify it by infinity, and that is our normal state, but the lie made us believe in special moments with loved ones, where those special moments define us and Life. Nope. Not quite. Actually, believe it or not – that’s a lie. We are thrown crumbs, and if we are clever, we will understand all we have is each other, and why we stopped caring about others and ourselves is beyond me. Maybe we got lost amongst the lies, where nothing no longer made sense.


Be true to yourself, because all you have is yourself, and when you find yourself, share yourself with others, because in them is you. You are this Light that arose from beyond the lie, where in knowing yourself, there is no lie, because in you is the truth that you are all there is. How can there be anything else but you. And the funniest thing of all, is you are not special – you are normal; you are in the natural in this Divine place of the Infinite.

To be at peace is normal. To be in the presence of Brothers and Sisters is normal. To be joyous and express your innocence is normal. That is the truth. In the truth there is no lie.


Know that you are not alone. Know that you have been lost, and by Divine Grace, may we now be found, where we know ourselves and the Divine Life that is created around us.

May we know ourselves and be ourselves, as this is all there is.

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