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Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

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This morning as I got dressed and ready for the day a feeling of devastation filled me. There was a feeling that was bigger than me, and when I felt it and understood what I was feeling, I felt devastated.

What I came to understand – what this feeling within me was – was that I can no longer be in the space of those whom I have loved for so long who felt it was their God-given right to destroy me so that they may feel better than themselves. To those whose self-esteem is so low that they have to destroy, so that they may be above those they destroyed, and by being above them, they feel better about themselves – to these the shift has begun, where there is something bigger than us that has sheared us away from the presence of the cruel and unkind.


When Queen Semiramis saw the Beautiful place Sophia had created for the Dragon spirits, she too wished for such a Beautiful place for the Serpent spirits, so she created/imagined the illusionary Garden. The illusion was not called a Garden for nothing, because like in all gardens, the frequencies within this illusionary realm grew, where in our moments of play, we made these frequencies manifest to what we wished them to be.

Within you and me the spirit and body form are the frequencies of the illusion, and believe you me, they are always there. Why do think the cruel have such power within the illusion? – It is because the frequency of the illusion has grown strong within them. The crueler you are, the bigger and stronger is the frequencies of the illusion within you. And that is why for so many, they cannot alter what they are, because within them has grown frequencies that they cannot get rid of. Why do so many trauma victims remain scarred for lifetimes? – Because that disharmonious frequency that touched them has grown within them and cannot be pulled from their space.


Sometime during the course of the day, I took two minutes to sit in the silence and reflect. What I felt was frequencies of what felt like plants that had grown within me being withdrawn from my space. Inside you and me is a Garden of illusionary frequencies that firmly plant us within this illusionary realm, and I felt earlier how they left my space. This is the shift, where the natural can no longer blend with the unnatural.


The rift/shift has begun, where the one ship goes the one way, and the other goes in the opposite direction, and before we know it, the ship that we crossed paths with is no longer in sight. When this happens one does not feel joy – one feels devastation, because how different it could have been if others could only have been kind. What an absolute disaster that the natural and unnatural; the harmonious and disharmonious, are no longer intertwined, and I say this because one always give another the benefit of the doubt, but realistically, if the spirits don’t get it now, they never will. We have had our opportunities at redemption, and yet we lived where we believed there would truly never be consequences for our actions. How foolish we have been, where we embraced cruelty and made it our own, where we believed that this was okay. I destroy you, and this is okay.

I cannot comprehend the reasoning of such spirits.


What happens from here is out of your hands and mine. My life, and yours, has shifted by something bigger than us, and I would call this our Consciousness. It is coming unto its own and merely being, and this naturally takes Consciousness to where it belongs, where now oil and water no longer blend together to create a cesspit of madness and sorrow. Now to each their own, and as said, this is beyond you and me the spirit and body form. The pieces are moving on the chess board and we have no control over them. Order is happening in the Garden, and Chaos has left on another ship that has departed our space.


What a bunch of fools. Why did they not listen to their Consciousness? What fun is there in being cruel, where their cruelty uplifts them as the illusionary Garden within them becomes stronger?

What happens to them I don’t know, but I will say one thing – they will reminisce of what they had within them and those around them, and by no longer having this Love in their presence, they will understand what they had and so foolishly threw away. In that moment they will weep, where they know they are alone in a cruel place, where you don’t destroy this Love that is, because it is all we had – which was each other.


Alone on that ship the might of the illusion is no longer within them, because this might could only be inflicted by those with the same Garden/illusion growing within them. Now they are alone unto themselves, where they see their power for what is it, which is just an illusionary frequencies, and sadly there is nothing you and I can do to help because we are no longer in their space.


That is devastating, and that devastation I felt this morning.

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Over the last few days when I thought of my deceased mother, that’s when I knew I was in a bad way. My mom loved me, but she never had the capacity to express that love. Life put her in a tumble dryer, pushed super-spin mode, and my mom came out worse for the wear. Somewhere within she loved me and only wanted the best for me, but what really made her stand out was that she was not intentionally cruel towards me. Fair enough, her fucked up status threw me for a wobbly, but she always meant well, even though this seldom came through.


Over the last few days I thought of my mom, where I held onto that love within her that she had for me, because as I began to drown in this awful place I needed a life-line to hold onto which I found within her.

The point to make is we have all been touched by the cruelty of Life, so allow yourself time to heal. Your Consciousness is in a place and space where this is possible, so allow it to once again become a whole, rounded being, where from there it may shine upon us the spirit and body form.

As you heal, rise up and embrace the stepping stones placed around you so that you may find the Beauty that has always been there that we never had the capacity to see as we were playing the Game of survival. It is natural to Love and be Loved, as this is who we are, and this is all that there is. What tomorrow brings I cannot say, but I know we are in a space from where we can heal and unfold into what we are. And if not, that’s also okay, because that obstacle will also be faced and understood and overcome until we are where we belong.


But for now, let us heal.

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If you ask me what is the silence, it is the stillness/state of the Infinite – this is what is real. What the illusion is, is frequencies – particles in motion.

The one is solid and all that is , and the other is a bubble that became trapped in this all.


For how long now I have been in a bad way. Always I have been lost and alone, but over the last few years, cumulating in the last few days, I have been in a bad way, and now I understand why. Within me is Consciousness that wants to break free of this place and just be, but it cannot just be because the illusion is not its home and where it belongs. Take a fish out of water and tell the fish this is where they belong – on dry land – and see how long they last.

So within us is this turmoil, where we the spirit and body form do our best within the illusion, but we have forgotten about the Consciousness that is the real us, just as this Consciousness forgot its true self, where it was, and where it belongs.

The turmoil within me and so many out there is their Consciousness now know what they are, yet the world of the spirit and body form are alien to them, where this illusion is not the Home of Consciousness. And this conflict of I want to stay and help, yet I cannot exist in this illusion, is what causes a restless and troubled body form, spirit and Consciousness, and this awful state cannot carry on.


Your home that is you Consciousness is the stillness of the silence, where there are no frequencies, where from this state you alter/transform the frequencies around you, and this is what you call playing with the illusion. This is where Consciousness plants the stepping stones to uplift itself and the spirit and body form, where Consciousness is the driver of the spirit and body.

But what is left, is the turmoil within, where Consciousness feels like a fish out of water in the illusion, so this is where understanding is met, where Consciousness understands that the spirit and body form are literally just that – a vehicle to drive it and the spirit and body form out of the illusion.


We are talking about team play here, where the three have to be in sync with each other. What this means, is doing what you want when you want is not an option. All three – Consciousness; the spirit; the dense body form – all three consider each other and work as one, because now it is not just you the body form, or just Consciousness by itself.


What we all need to understand is that we truly do not know. Every decision is a 50/50, where we don’t know if we will make the right choice or not. Going with your instinct or gut feel is not an option, because what worked in the past will not apply now, the reason being is that Consciousness who is our leader has forgotten this Home of the silence, so every step forwards is a “I don’t know.” Are we going back into the illusion, or are we going into a less dense state, where this density becomes no more until all that is left is no frequency?


This is where integrity and self-respect come into play, where you truly only want the best for those around you, namely Consciousness, the spirit and body form. So if you are the dense body form, you want the best for the spirit and Consciousness, and the same can be said for the other two. So I don’t know, but what I do know is I want the best for you. You also don’t know, but you want the best for me, and so it goes, where between the three of them, the best way forwards will be chosen.

Will you make a mistake? –That is irrelevant, because any mistake will be quickly corrected by the force of the three that stands behind the error.


So keep your side clean.

Life overwhelms me, and my contribution to my spirit and Consciousness is zero right now, because I need help and am not in a position to help, but what I do is have the understanding that things will be okay. I don’t go and sit in a corner feeling sorry for myself.

I this Steven truly knows nothing, so how can I say that things will be okay? The answer is we are returning to what is normal. We are not trying to build something new – all we are doing is returning to what we naturally are. That state is there, we just have to be guided back to where it is, and that is how I know everything will be okay, because what you and I are is waiting for us to find it, and where it is, is within us. Our job is to make what we are less dense, where we peel away the layers of density to return to our original state.


So it is you with you, where the journey is a personal one. What I need to come my way as a stepping stone may not apply to you, and vica versa, but what is important is the end result, where my spirit and Consciousness sees yours, and in seeing what I am – what I should be – that is where the true transformations take place, and that is how we all help ourselves out of this mess.

When I heal the animals I show them the spirit and Consciousness what is normal, and by them seeing the normal, the abnormal is wiped away from their space. And so too, when I see you, you have something that I don’t, and that uplifts me to be like you, which is a state where we are one with the all that is the Infinite. But it starts with me, and it starts with you, where we do our best to help the package that is us, which is the trio of the dense body form, the spirit and Consciousness.


Listen to your good heart. Is what you are doing and saying to uplift? The truth is the truth, but not everyone is ready to hear the truth, where what you say will come across as callous and cruel. So Consciousness brings forth those that are ready to hear your truth, just as you are ready to hear theirs.

Please understand that what I am talking about here is work and commitment until we are on a platform where we go with the flow of the Infinite, where now the trio no longer need to paddle the boat as the flow of the stream is taking them.

Also understand how close we are to our natural state – it is but a thin veil that separates us the ignorant from what is real. Take away one or two boulders and you already start to feel the spray from the Infinite.


It is about teamwork, and from this team the collective of the all are assisted, where we help each other by showing others what we naturally are. In us they see themselves, just as we see ourselves in them.


All of this sounds great, and it is the truth, but I feel we are so floored by what we have been through that we need a helping hand – a push to get our momentum going. This push has happened on the unseen realms, where there has been a split/shift between those that like playing it rough and those that just want to return Home and be at peace.

What will give this push an added shove is when those in the unseen give us in the seen/dense realms a helping hand. Some will call this Divine Intervention, but it is not. What it is, is the trio looking out for each other, where the unseen spirit and Consciousness look after the seen dense body form, as we are the dead-weight of the three. Help us, so that we may help ourselves, as well as return the help to the spirit and Consciousness. How we also help is fulfilling our role of the vehicle, where through us, the spirit and Consciousness may help others.


How awkward is it for us to give a complement to others? Why do we so seldom say “thank you?” When last did you give a smile to a total stranger because they needed to see a ray of Love in this grey place?

That is how far we have fallen; that is how detached we have become from our brothers and sisters around us. We do not see the Beauty in others because it has been absent from our lives for so long.


There is work to be done, and we are working towards the most natural state there is, because it is all that there is. Be yourself. Be what you naturally are. Be Love. Shine.

We need to let go and get out the way so that the other two in the trio may make their presence felt to us. Understand you know nothing, because you truly do, so open yourself up to those that truly Love you and only want the best for you. Together we will get there, as there is nowhere else to go but to where we belong.


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As I closed my eyes to sleep last night there was a lot of activity, as in shadows, moving around me. As I fell into a deep sleep the body with its limitations could be pushed aside and the spirit and Consciousness could come to the fore.

Then I saw this man standing next to my bed. His appearance shocked me as I have never seen such a bad looking hombre before. This man personified evil, deceit, and cruelty, but what trait stood out the most was scum of the earth. Have met my fair share of these in the seen realm, but in the unseen/spirit realm I think what startled me about this man was his feeling of angst. He was in a state of distress, as if he had just had to flee from somewhere, and he was most apologetic for inconveniencing me and being in my space. He introduced those around him, and he showed me his pet animal. This creature was about five feet high and kept on opening its mouth to show rows of needle sharp teeth. Its mouth opened upwards towards the sky, and any doubts as to the character of the man standing next to me were confirmed by his pet. This animal was primitive, raw and wild – a true beast.


I have seen so much worse over the years from what comes from the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where those whom I see come with intent to destroy or possess me – they always came with an agenda, so where calm and collected as they came to do their job.

What came last night, as in this man, was one who was fleeing from somewhere. This low-life scum one would never normally encounter, because he will see you and you won’t see him – you will just know the effects of what he done when he took or destroyed what you had. And please understand, I am not ridiculing or being harsh on this man, I merely state what he is.


I do not remember what this man told my spirit and Consciousness, which is a pity, as this would have explained the reason for his visit. What I do know, is where he was  - where he has always been – as well as what he done, was no more. Something had touched him that had altered his existence forever more, and this man was rattled to his core.


Later on during the night my spirit found itself in a village on a plateau that bordered a mountain side. In this world the darkness of night had set in, and my spirit and Consciousness moved around this village as all there were asleep. We were waiting for something, because there was a feeling of eeriness that some presence was going to make itself known in the village, and we waited and looked out for it to sound the alarm before it striked.

This I don’t understand what it was all about. I don’t understand what we were waiting for, and I don’t know if being there was related to the man standing next to my bed earlier on.

What I can tell you, is there has been a wake-up-shake-up in the spirit realm, where what was, is no more. Will this wave hit us in the seen realm? – You bet. Everything I write is for the unseen to understand, because this is where the action happens. We the dense body forms are touched by what happens in the unseen/spirit realm, so helping us the pieces of meat will do nothing to alter the big picture. Change the spirit and Consciousness, and everything changes, especially us the dense body forms.   


For the first time in a long time I don’t feel alone. This Steven feels he is working with his spirit and Consciousness, where there is a mutual understanding of moving together as one to get where we belong. It is not just about me, but the we, and from this we – as in body form, spirit and Consciousness – it is about everyone. We cannot be happy unless you are, and we cannot help you unless we help ourselves, so we help us to help you. And you do the same for us, because we are all in this mess together. There is no rush to the finish line to get first prize, because all that is at the end of the line is Home where we belong, so wherever I can, I will carry you, just as you will me.


What will be interesting is how this shift in the unseen will touch us in the seen. How will this wave touch us, because touch us it will.

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What kept the illusion alive was the madness therein. One had to understand this madness in order to move forwards, because if you don’t understand, you can’t go forwards and put the past behind us.

What we never knew was who ran the Looney bin – it was run by the cruel and the insane, which I suppose is one and the same thing, meaning there was never an answer as to why others do what they do. Sure, we can talk about it to get it off our chest, but the book will never be closed where closure is met because the insane don’t know themselves why they do what they do. A big part of them loves their dastardly acts, and what this is that they love is the sense of power, where they are elevated above the mediocrity of others as well as the illusion. This high – and it is a euphoric high – where I understand I am above you in so many ways, this is what fuels the mad to embrace the evil that they are.


I had to understand these fuckers, and what I have come to understand is that there is nothing to understand. Rather get out of their space as soon as possible, because being in the proximity of such filth is not a good place to be.


Over the last few days this Steven has done his bit, where I don’t allow my mind to drift – I keep everything close to me to do my bit to assist my spirit and Consciousness. My threshold of the illusion – that ceiling that elevated me as far as I could go above the madness, was holding onto my animals. Their Love for me and mine for them put me on a space where I was filled with joy, but I knew the moment I snapped out of this space I was once again back in the illusion, so now I go beyond this state and merely be with the Infinite that is me the body form, spirit and Consciousness.

What is interesting is the pull by those that controlled us the body form and spirit. Always there is a pull back, where we have to understand why the cruel were cruel, and the reason for this is because they cut us deep and scarred us, and by understanding why they thought nothing of destroying us, we might find closure to that bad chapter in our lives and move on. But there will never be closure, and this the architects of the illusion know, because you cannot solve a problem with the same level of intelligence that created it. To solve the mystery of why Life is cruel, get out of the illusion, because as long as you are inside of it, you are going nowhere besides round and round chasing your own tail.


We were meant to remain confused, broken and bitter, where how the hell could love hurt so badly? How could a total stranger be so cruel when you have done nothing wrong to them and those they love?

The sickness and insanity of those that ran the show from the shadows is one I have delved into on a full-time basis over almost the last ten years. What you find at the bottom of the pit is bad. When I went into the psyche of the psychopath and what fed off their energy, what you find is being in the presence of these Beasts is toxic, where being in their presence alone is enough to kill you.

There is no logical explanation to the cruelty of this place, so get out. Stay, and you will be consumed and become lost forever, as so many already are – some willingly, and others not.


Rise above all you have come to love in this place, because just as there is evil, there has to be love to balance the scales. As you have risen above evil, now rise above love, where you merely are what you are. You are beyond this state of love, where you are everything. This state of being is so simplistic when you know what you are, so allow Consciousness and the spirit to merely be and embrace what they are. You the body form join the party and merely be. No need to try and figure out how we may forgive those who trespassed against us, because around the corner the line is around the block of those waiting to fuck you over. Get out of the illusion, and how this is done is by understanding your strings have been pulled by those from the shadows. Your mind is controlled by them. You are their asset as they created and manufactured you, so stop being this tool that they created so they may feed from your energy.


Stick close to those you Love and whom Love you, namely your spirit and Consciousness. Do your part, where you just let go and go with the flow of what naturally is all around and within you. I understand the Game of these Beasts, and it is one you no longer want to be a part of, because believe you me, there is no Walt Disney feel-good happy endings.

The only thing holding you back now is fear of the unknown, as this illusion is all we have known for so long. The Infinite is not unknown – it has always been within and around us. We never had the opportunity to embrace this all that is because we were made to look elsewhere so that Beasts may feed from our energy to keep their false utopia alive. Their madness made them believe that cruelty and suppression of others is all there is, and this they never doubted, because they love being cruel.


That is madness. That is insanity. Get out, because if you don’t they will keep you here and take you with them to their and your demise.

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Don’t know when last I got up in the early hours of the morning to write, as what I saw in my sleep state had to be written down, where one could not wait till morning to do so.

It’s just after two in the morning, and must have been awake for the last hour or so.


Still the same.

They access your subconscious mind, find a character that you have met in your life, weave a story with you and this character, add spice by playing on our emotional state during the story, and from there show this implanted story/dream on a screen within us for our Consciousness to follow so that our attention to the story releases our energy for them to eat.

In this night this group of animation kids came on their flying device to come and feed from my energy.


“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Shame! Poor Steven!”


I cannot speak for the rest of the worlds within the illusion, but on this one – the blue planet – in the seen and unseen, we are a colony that has been manipulated and controlled so that our energy may be harvested to feed those within the illusion that know of the Game we and they are played in.

Every single one of us – the good, the bad, and the ugly – every single one is a circuit-switch that is plugged into an electrical circuit board that is embedded within a machine. Every single one of us on the blue planet in the seen and unseen. We fight and hate and destroy and make sure we are okay while our energy is being harvested.

The narrated video of Carl Sagan called A Mote of Dust Suspended in a Sunbeam is absolutely brilliant. What Carl missed though was that we are plugged into a System so that Beasts may feed from our energy to keep them and the illusion alive. Every single one of us. Do the animals dream? – You bet! Implanted dreams like ours? – You bet!


We are plugged into a System so that our energy may be harvested. Everything, but everything is a simulation.


How do we get out of it? By being touched by something bigger than us. We need a bump; a push; a shove so that we may be knocked out of the machine and thus be set free from it.

To wait for Divine Intervention is to hope, and I am not good on hoping, because up till now hope has not touched our existence.

There was been a wake-up-shake-up within the unseen realms of the illusion that has touched all within the unseen realms. That wave has not hit the trio of us here on the harvester blue planet, namely us the body form, spirit and Consciousness. You have to hit all three to affect all three. That wave is my only hope of us being knocked out of the machine, and yes, now all I do have is hope, because in writing this journal I have done something to the illusion, but that something has not altered our reality to one where we are elevated above what we have always known, and that for me is unbelievable. After all that has been seen, said and done, it comes down to a frequency wave from somewhere within the illusion to save us and set us free.


My goodness. What a fuck-up.     

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To get to where you belong, one needs to know where you are. Every finish line has to have a starting point, otherwise there is just this mass of space wherein we drift.

Consciousness now knows where it is – it is plugged into a machine; a machine that you and I in our wildest imagination could not fathom. So what Consciousness now does, is pull finger out of arse and unplug itself from the machine.


In healing the animals, I need to know two things: What is the cause of the problem/pain, and secondly, where is the primary problem? By understanding where the primary problem is, as well as how it got there, from there I do nothing – where something bigger than me overrides the programme in front of me and makes a wrong right, because we are not meant to be in pain; there is not meant to be disharmony within our existence.

Know what the problem is, as well as its cause, and in the moment the disharmony you have known is no more. Every single animal and human spirit I see over the years is treated in this way. The closer you get to the truth, the simpler it is to make a wrong right.


The cause of the problem is that Consciousness has been deceived, where it became plugged into a simulation machine, where what it saw, it believed to be real.

The primary problem is with the manufactured components of the simulation, namely the spirit and body form. The primary problem is there are players in a Game, and Consciousness has been made to believe that these players are real and important, where everything must be done to make sure they are okay, so the primary problem is that Consciousness believes these players to be real. We are not, we are an illusion, just as is the simulation in which Consciousness finds itself.


Know the cause of the problem, as well as the primary problem, and the two are no more. This I can attest with every patient I see, where it is not about treating, but rather about understanding, and from there passing on this understanding to something bigger than us, which is the Consciousness into which the body and spirit are created around.

So Consciousness unplugs itself now from the machine wherein a world was projected that it believed to be real, and it returns Home to what is. Beyond the simulation that it plugged into is Home. Everything else that is not the simulation is Home. Here there are no problems to solve – you merely be.


What about the players in the simulation – you and me the spirit and body form? All we can do is connect to Consciousness in its true state so that our programme which was our enslavement may be overridden.

What becomes of the illusion that is you and me? What I ask for, is to know what is real, as all I have known is a plastic illusion that revolves around survival. We ask that Consciousness shows us joy and what naturally should be, where it shows us a replica of what its Home is. In other words, show us and let us experience the illusionary Garden as Queen Semiramis intended it to be. Wipe away the abnormal so that all that is left is the normal.


So be it. No need to wait for hope and chance.

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When Consciousness was felt within our forms, as in the spirit and dense body form, its presence was felt within the throat area.

When things depart our space to where they should be, they leave going downwards, meaning if returning to where we belong can be described in a direction, it is downwards – not upwards.


How Consciousness is felt now is as a line that starts within the head, and from there, moves downwards, where, at regular intervals, it makes a loop circle, only to once again move downwards.


My guess is that it is manifesting/stabilizing itself within the original template of the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis. For so long it has been deceived and plugged into the machine of an illusionary dystopia. Now it is free of deceit, where it may be – this place that Semiramis created to play in and have fun. “Fun” meaning were Consciousness may express itself and play with this false reality.


Another guess I will take is Consciousness is tired and rattled from what it has been through, and what this means is you and I the spirit and body form cannot fuck up. We the illusionary children have a nanny looking after us – this nanny does not have the strength to turn into a policewoman. The strength Consciousness has is to look as we play, and when we are finished playing, our body form dies and the spirit infuses into Consciousness to merely be, and from there they leave the Garden for the Infinite.


So to you the spirit and body form – play. Play with kindness. Any other form of play, then you are in the wrong place that cannot accommodate you, meaning you return to where you came from, where those there like it rough, where I can fuck you up just because I can – and of course I can because I like destroying, where it defines me and gives me joy. To these, they remain a simulation with no heart and conscience, where what they have always been – this Consciousness – is no more. Now these spirits and body forms are truly ghosts in a machine – a living Hell that is a place they choose to be. That place is not mine and yours.


The nanny within will bring forth what the Garden has to offer you and me while she sits and recuperates and watches while we play. Do your part and make her proud, and most importantly, be joyous, where your joy is hers. That will heal and restore this one who became trapped/deceived by Beasts in a most awful place.


May I no longer have to write in this journal. May Life now unfold as it should.


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What makes Life worthwhile living? It is the highs. Me telling my dogs that I will kiss their lips seventy five billion times a day, and now and then pushing my wrist against their mouth to give them a “kiss” – that to me is the same high as a drug addict shooting up a drug into their veins.

In the high we get picked up from the dense frequency that we are, and in that moment it is okay to be here in this awful place, where now everything is alright.


Now during my sleep state I get filled with a natural high, and what this is, is returning to a less dense frequency, where what is the norm, is a constant “high.” Don’t think an adrenalin rush of driving at two hundred miles an hour, or free-falling from an airplane, or having multiple orgasms, because these highs, and all the other highs in Life, were there to give us a feel of what we knew and once what were.

Why are the cruel cruel? – For the high of destroying you, where in that moment, they are above you, and this elevated status is their high. “What a loser! What a dumb fuck!” Shame, if only they were like me, where I am better than them.”


We all went for the high – that something that was once natural within us when we dwelled in a less dense frequency field.


In the dense frequency of the illusion there were those amongst us who had no interest in attaining a high, where they needed have to sit back after a busy day and say “that was a good day.” To these there was a constant within them, and what this constant was, was they embraced the all that is around them. They became one with the frequencies around them, be it the trees or the wind or the sun. They lived for hundreds of years, where they merely be’ed. Their isolation from the world at large allowed them to create their natural ecosystem, where they understood nature, and nature them. The construction of travelling vessels pierced their beautiful ways, where we had to control and destroy what we didn’t understand, because everything had to conform to our world, which was enter the flow of take and destroy lest you also be destroyed.


Our death happened a long time ago, when we felt it was our god-given right to destroy others who did not believe what we believed. And what did we believe? – That we are above all else, be it the animals or nature or even our own species.

We were wrong. Yes, there was a time and place where we were above all, and this was so because we were the all – we lived as one with all around us, and we were in a state of constant euphoria that was the norm. This elevated bliss defined us as it was the frequency in which we found ourselves. When we fell to a dense frequency we subconsciously looked for what we once had, and the easiest way to achieve this was a sense of superiority, where I own and control you. “Shame, you riff-raff scum, there is work to be done from my side to get you right. But no, wait, that requires effort, let me just rather destroy you.”


This was cruelty at its best, where I destroy you because it is my god-given right to do so because you have different ideas and opinions than me. The ways of the brute – those with brute strength, be it muscle, man-power, or money came to take over the illusion, and what peaceful enclaves in this dense frequency there were, soon became blown out the water, in many cases, literally so.


Ask me what will give me joy, and that will be to return and be one with nature, where their frequency uplifts me to a state that is beyond survival mode.

That frequency is being passed onto us as we speak, where we are once again filled with a natural high that is us and defines us. With this less dense frequency comes an unseen mist/moisture that is the Life-essence that sustained the beautiful Garden of Queen Semiramis. This less dense frequency has been unknown to us as we destroyed it and took to the helm of the ship, where we began our course to destroy ourselves and all around us. As the pressures became too much, more and more we looked for the high that was once naturally within us. Drinking and drugs, as in substance abuse, and gambling are two vices that come to mind that thrive in times of hardship, as we do our best to rise up and feel the euphoria that should naturally be within us.


So let go and rise up to the less dense plane, where being filled with a natural high is the norm.  

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Go into the stillness of the silence where there is no you, and what you feel is this flow of movement within you. This is the Passonia, which is the less dense plane that is making itself felt within you. This is the beginning of the natural high that is felt by being in the frequency where we the spirit and body form belong.

Now you begin to return to your own, where you no longer feel like a fish out of water.


This is the nectar; the super-drug; the elixir that is seeked by so many from the shadows of the illusion.

Last night as I slept I saw this lady from the Reptilian frequency take handfuls of this stuff that was around me and throw it into her chest area. As this less dense frequency hit her chest it was absorbed within her and she arched backwards in a state of euphoria. This stuff is readily available and is as bountiful as the air around us – all these Beasts have to do is let go and go with the flow of what naturally is. Let go of who and what you are so that you may naturally rise to where we belong – this place from where we fell.


From here, the next step is for Consciousness to embrace the Glow of the Infinite and make this state its own. That is when you will be in this world but not of this world, and from there, with each passing moment, the world/frequency you have always known fades away and all that is left is your world – this place of play, where you merely be and express yourself.


Sounds great? It isn’t really, it is just natural. No fireworks going off, just you returning to where you belong.


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So what has changed in the life of Steven? – Absolutely nothing. But then let’s be fair and say this journal was never about Steven – it was about all of us who were touched by the cruelty of Life, where this is all we knew. One never accepts the cruelty and injustice inflicted upon us, as this is not normal and does not make simple, basic, common sense, but what did we have to re-balance the scales where disharmony once again turns to harmony?

We had to understand why our brothers and sisters turned against us and became cruel. We had to understand why the innocence and beauty of nature and the animals were torn apart and not seen as a living, breathing entity just as we are.

The bugger-up is there was no real time for understanding – there was only time for survival. There was no ways this journal could be conceived and written unless I had the time to focus on understanding why Life is cruel. Each day I sit and wonder why my phone doesn’t ring and why I am not busy helping others, and in doing so, receiving an exchange of energy where I make money to support my family, but I know the answer to that question, where there is no way I could have written this journal as I focused on having a job. This journal and those from the shadows have consumed me over the last almost ten years. My wife really fucked me up where she so disrespectfully destroyed the love I had for her and then threw it back in my face, but who else would have supported me unconditionally to complete this journal? Her cruelty was not necessary, but her providing and understanding was, where there was no time to fit into society and make money. There was only time to understand the cruelty of Life so that a way may be found out of this mess, and this understanding had to go back to the very beginning with a fall from a Creator and a parasite within a beautiful illusionary Garden that created a want with us, and of course a god that wanted to experience the complete opposite of naturally what was and came to see this as the norm.


It is only fair that after seeing the big picture we focus on me and fill in the gaps, because we the body form are also entitled to be happy, so what about us the body form? To answer that question, ask yourself what you have never had that you needed the most, and what that was, was not walking alone, where something bigger than you and me is holding our hand and walking with us.

That was the biggest tragedy of all – that we were alone in a most cruel place, where try as you may, help was not coming our way, and that is bone-crushing and soul destroying, hence the smoke-screens and mirrors to fool us that there is a place of beauty in the spirit realm with exalted ones there to guide us. Give the satanists their due – they knew there was no Love within the illusion, so they worshipped the big-cock the Demiurge as this fucker was all there was – him and his legion of arse-kissing cruel bastards. What a pity we never tried to look beyond cruelty and see what has been suppressed and crushed so that we help Love to once again rise and naturally be, because Love is normal and cruelty is not. We embraced the dysfunctional at our own expense, where with each passing day we became more fucked up, never asking what else is there that should naturally be.


So what about me, this Steven? What about you? What about all out there that have it rough and need a helping hand? What lies ahead for us?

Understand what you are – you are a manufactured programme, and there was no ways you had the capacity to rise above yourself. Only the God-force within – this Consciousness – has the capacity to override the illusion as Consciousness is not from this place, so when standing unto itself, it may rise above the illusion and transform all within, including the illusion itself. That was our the spirit and body forms ticket out of this place to an existence where there is a natural harmony because the illusion was created with Love to be a place of indescribable beauty, and it is to this natural state that we the spirit and body form return.


What we write and come to understand is for one who, when themselves, can be in a position to help us the spirit and body form as well as the illusion as a whole. I said it is about the trio of spirit, body and Consciousness, but this is nonsense, as we the spirit and body form are floored by having to survive. Consciousness shines and Be’s and we the spirit and body form follow suit where Consciousness shows us the way.


So what about you? What about me?

To that we leave our Consciousness within to touch us and show us the way. That is the only understanding I have left, where there is something bigger than us to carry us out and away from this madness. All I have left is to hold onto this understanding, meaning Consciousness needs to shine and come and show us the way. It is the Everything, and when it fully understands what it is, that is when you and I the spirit and body form are free from survival and we no longer walk alone, where we walk with something that is bigger than us that is within us. 

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When I fall asleep at night time that is when I go to school, where what is unseen and touches us is revealed. In the seen world this Steven may be lost somewhere between all this insanity, but in the spirit realm there is a push to end all this slaughter and destruction.

In the seen realms – this space is the lowest you can willingly fall, where you are able to let yourself go and be cruel. For this to happen, we have to be a bunch of hypocrites, where what you see in others is not what you get. But most importantly, we have to fool ourselves, where we create an image of what we would like to be, and when the destructive force that is within us comes to the fore, well that is from what others do to us. Always, there is an excuse that we justify to ourselves why the fault lies with others and never ourselves. And this highlights our immense weakness, where we may see how low we have fallen, where all we know is to be destructive. To fight; to be irritated by all and sundry around us; to see ourselves as different to others, where the fault is always with them and so seldom with ourselves – when you stand back and see that big picture, then you can see how low we have fallen where destruction is built within us that we came to claim as our own.


I am not being cruel or bitter when I say we have become the savage, because this is what we are, and until we see and acknowledge what we are, we are going nowhere.

All I ask for is for me to be me. What I see around me and what touches me as I go about living – that is not me. This seen world is not me. I see the beauty in some of nature and the animals, and that is me. There are trees out there that will do their best to kill you when you come into their space, and as for the world of nature, where it is kill or be killed, well that is also not me. So what I do from now is I no longer allow myself to be drawn into the madness around me, because that is not me. Critical to the Games survival is to be drawn into the madness in order to try and make sense of it, and this I no longer do. My spirit walks, as it has been walking for a long time, and now this body form follows suit, where I walk away from the madness that I have been buried six feet under. No more do I react, because if I do, I either meet fire with fire, or I veer off to the left and meet insanity.


It all comes back to knowing what you are, and what you are not, and from there standing your ground with what you are.

This morning I woke up and tried to make sense of what happened in my sleep state. I was with another family – a family of Beauty and maturity; those that are there for each other as this is who they are. What I was around was not destruction and cruelty, but rather adults merely being adults. This was the norm, where no destructive trait was in their psyche and space.

I thought this was an implanted dream, so I looked hard for those around me who might have implanted the dream, but there were none. What I was shown was what I am, which is a state of harmony and Love, not with its ups and downs, but a constant of this is all there is. But I was still unsure, so I closed my eyes and pressed against my eyelids to look deeper into the unknown. What I saw, which I have seen so many times when I close my eyes to see, was the formation of the golden eye. Pieces of this gold material come together to form an eye, and from there this golden eye turns into a purple eye, but this morning the purple one was not there. All that remained suspended in space was the golden eye.


What is this golden eye? Is it the true state of Consciousness that comes from the Infinite to show itself to all so that we may remember what we are?

To what family have we moved into? – Is it a state that is in closer proximity to the golden eye, where we move closer to what we are? All I can say, is to expect change one has to get up and move, as in walk away from what you have always been, where you make a commitment to walk to what you are. Do not think of destruction, as this means you are pulled into the destruction around you.


In the space within of who and what you are, get up and walk to you.

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Is money the frequency of power and control within the illusion? Zoom in and see what your million pounds can get you, and then zoom out to understand what little money you have will not impact the illusion and make it a better place for all. So seeking money to provide for a never-ending want is a constant struggle, where the carrot is always hanging at the end of the stick, where what you have will never be enough, because who knows, what you have today might be gone tomorrow, or worthless.


With that in might, let’s approach the subject of money from the viewpoint of what you really are, which is Consciousness.

Consciousness is everything, where you want or need nothing. So from where Consciousness stands, you the spirit and body have and are everything, and thus the frequency of money is not a priority to Consciousness. And this is my person belief, that as long as we keep our side clean, Consciousness within will look after us.

Now let’s say, I have to paint my corrugated iron roof with a heat-repellant paint. The roof during the day becomes an outdoor oven, and this inversion layer of heat settles over the roof and lingers into the night, which sucks the moisture of all in proximity to the roof, be it plants, animals or humans, and what this means, is the natural ecosystem of what should be is no longer there. The problem is fixed with a heat-repellant paint, but that costs money which you don’t have. So what does Consciousness do to fix the problem?


What Consciousness does, is finds a way to bring forth the money so that paint may be bought, and here you go into the stillness of the silence to ask how this may be achieved. The trick – the golden rule – is that you are asking for paint, as paint is needed to restore the everything to be what it was. There is no you and me in the equation, because we are already everything with Consciousness awakened within. So don’t ask for money, ask for paint, and Consciousness will bring forth the money, but not for you, for the paint so that harmony may be restored where there currently is none.


Get out the way, because there is no you and me – there is the captain of the ship which is Consciousness. Now Consciousness looks to the everything of a situation or circumstance, and brings forth what should be there that is not. And what is vital to understand is to go with the flow of where you belong, so let go and remove yourself from the equation.

Ask what is needed to restore the everything to a situation, and then go into the stillness of the silence to bring Consciousness into the equation to bring forth the answer. Remember, you the body and spirit do not feature in the equation as Consciousness is already within you. If there is an unhappiness within you, as I am sure is in the vast majority out there, then allow Consciousness to pick you up and carry you, but your want for money isolates you from the everything, because ultimately money will not bring about peace and happiness – being what you are will, as well as where you belong – in the seen and unseen.  


See the big picture – how is the everything restored to what it should be? And this is where to each their own, as many are focused on the me, with no consideration for Life. You cannot impose your will on them, so move to where you belong, and if you cannot move, bring Consciousness into the equation to restore balance and harmony where there is none. Remember, you are not in the equation, as Consciousness is within you so you are okay. If there is a war waging outside, or a famine that is wreaking havoc, Consciousness brings forth what is needed to restore the everything to the situation, and you keep your side clean so that when the balance is there, you don’t abuse it.


What about moving to the illusionary Garden of Semiramis, where it is what it was intended to be?

We have been floored for a long time, so get up and walk where you feel comfortable with yourself and where you are, and from this foundation we may begin to see and touch the stars. Do not underestimate what the destructive force within so many has done to our psyche and way of life. I speak for myself when I say I am in a bad way, but I am also in a good way, as I know Life is unfolding as it should. We are no longer alone.


I feel that the jar needs to be broken so that it may be reset as it should be. When Consciousness restores the everything to what should be, there will be a shift in what was, and this we will feel in the seen. How far you are from off-centre will determine the impact of this shift on your existence. Nobody is perfect, but I feel this shift will either uplift us or sink us further. Want to play dirty, then go down to your department to meet your own, where now like attracts like. What will change in your existence is now you see yourself in those around you, where you play with your own and not the innocent. Any guesses how long that game will last and how it will end up? The reality you created at the expense of others, where cruelty you embraced and made your own, this reality is now yours, where you see what you have done to others and ultimately yourself. To these, may you find the God-force within and return to what you naturally are.

To those that seek joy and happiness for themselves and all, expect – actually insist – on your Life to be shaken and stirred, where you return to an existence where everything may be met and felt within you. This is Consciousness shining as it should, and these rays are touching you the body form and spirit.


What I do know, is Life cannot continue as it always has. Something had to snap. Either we fall to our final demise where we forget the Consciousness/Love that we are, where we become permanently plugged into a machine, or we rise up to where we naturally belong and we are what we are.

The other night as I slept I saw how my Consciousness drifted away from the machine it was plugged into. What this machine is, is a life-form like you and me. It is a living entity, and through my limited vision I saw a being that was Human looking with arms and legs and a brain. The machine is merely a bigger version of what you and I are. We suckled from its teats as we fed it our attention that we had within. Our story; our Life, became its, but we were not parasites – the machine was the tick that sucked the Life force from us, where Consciousness saw it as the all that is and ever will be.




May Life unfold as it should, where the everything is restored, where we know our place as well as happiness in this dense frequency before we depart to the illusionary Garden as it was.  We all deserve our time in the Sun, where Consciousness sees us the spirit and body form, and what it sees brings it joy.

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My one pair of Crocs causes my heels to crack, so obviously I shouldn’t wear them but I do as there are not rows of shoes in my cupboard to choose from. The last few days I wore those Crocs more often than not, so now when I walk it feels and looks like I am walking on shards of glass.

Last night as I slept my spirit felt the pain in my heels. What I was also shown was the importance of exercise to keep fit.

The point I am making is there was a direct correlation between the spirit and body form, where the two are now in sync.


So it was the pain in my heel, the exercise reminder, and the third thing was John Steinbecks book Of Mice and Men. Over and over I was given the title of this book that I have heard of but not read. Below is a synopsis of the book that I found on the internet:


Of Mice and Men opens with the two main characters, George Milton and Lennie Small, walking toward Soledad, California. Steinbeck describes George as: "small and quick, dark of face, with restless eyes and sharp, strong features'' (2). In contrast, Lennie is depicted as George's opposite: "a huge man, shapeless of face, with large, pale eyes, [and] wide sloping shoulders" (2). Steinbeck demonstrates that both men need each other for emotional support. George, though often annoyed with Lennie's childlike and troublesome behavior, recognizes that Lennie keeps him from the aching loneliness of a ranch hand's solitary life. He also recalls his promise to "Aunt Clara" to care for Lennie, who is incapable of caring for himself.

When setting up camp for the night at the Salinas riverbed, George discovers Lennie clutching a dead mouse. In a moment of foreshadowing, Steinbeck shows that Lennie has a habit of stroking soft things and killing them by accident with the force of his grip. George tells Lennie to dispose of the mouse or he is not going to let him tend rabbits on the farm they plan to own one day. George begins to tell Lennie about an idyllic piece of land where they will "[...] have a little house and a couple of acres an' a cow and some pigs and—," as Lennie exuberantly interjects, "an' live off the fatta the lan' [...] An' have rabbits'" (13). The routine reveals that this vision has been a motivating factor in the men's lives for quite some time.

During the first chapter, Steinbeck also reveals that Lennie and George were forced to leave their previous job in Weed, California because Lennie tried to feel the soft fabric of a girl’s dress, and his actions were misinterpreted as inappropriate. As a result of this experience, George decides that when they meet their new boss, Lennie should stay quiet and let George do all of the talking. Their boss becomes suspicious, but he decides to let them stay because he recognizes that Lennie's size and strength will increase productivity on the ranch.

Lennie and George settle into the bunk house that all of the ranch hands share, and they meet Candy, an older man who is missing his hand. Shortly after this, they encounter Curley, the boss's son, who immediately begins antagonizing Lennie. When George asks Candy why Curley has a chip on his shoulder, Candy says that "He is alla time picking scraps with big guys. Kind of like he's mad at 'em because he ain't a big guy" (24). This insight into Curley’s personality explains his aggressive behavior throughout the novel. It also sets him up as a contrast to Lennie, who is a “big guy” (24) but has a mild nature. 

After their foreboding meeting with Curley, Lennie and George encounter Curley's wife, who has what the workers describe as "the eye" (26). Many of these men call her a “tart.” She and Curley have only been married for a few weeks, yet she frequently stops in to talk with the workers, especially Slim, the jerkline skinner. George senses that Curley and his wife are trouble and warns Lennie to keep his distance from both of them.

That evening, Carlson, another ranch hand, complains about Candy’s elderly dog. He tells Candy to put the smelly, toothless dog out of its misery. While Candy initially refuses, a word from the wise and benign Slim changes his mind. Slim tells Candy: "Carl's right […] [t]hat dog ain't no good to himself. I wisht somebody'd shoot me if I got old an' a cripple" (43). Candy hesitantly agrees, even though, ironically, Candy himself is old and disabled. He cannot bring himself to shoot his pet, so Carlson offers to do it for him. This moment highlights society’s harsh views about individuals who are no longer able to work. The dog’s death also serves as another instance of foreshadowing. After Carlson kills the dog, Candy overhears George and Lennie's conversation about the little piece of land they hope to own. Candy offers to contribute all of his money if they will let him join them and work in the garden on their land.

Later that night, Curley comes into the bunk house and misinterprets Lennie's smile about the dream home as a personal affront. He attacks Lennie, who only fights back when George tells him to. Out of fear, Lennie grabs and crushes Curley’s hand. The men warn Curley that unless he wants to be embarrassed by the situation, he should tell people he caught his hand in a machine. Lennie is afraid that he has done something wrong, but George assures him everything is okay, and he will still be allowed to tend the rabbits on their farm. Lennie is reassured, and he goes to see the puppy that Slim had offered him earlier.

The following night all of the workers leave for a brothel they call "old Susy's" (49), and Lennie is left behind. Lennie visits his puppy in the barn. This barn is also occupied by Crooks, the disabled African-American stable hand who has worked on the ranch for years. Feeling as though his territory is being invaded, Crooks uses the opportunity to torment Lennie, suggesting that George might not come back. Lennie is immensely upset by this idea. Crooks calms Lennie down and tries to explain his own intense loneliness: "S'pose you didn't have nobody. S'pose you couldn't go into the bunk house and play rummy 'cause you was black. How'd you like that?" (69). Crooks’ speech underlines the extreme discrimination that he faces, and it also shows that he is isolated from the other men at the ranch. Lennie does not understand the significance of these comments, and he talks about his and George's plan to live together on their own small homestead. For a short span of time, Crooks imagines that he too might live on this piece of land and escape his life of inequality. But his new dream is quickly shattered after an altercation with Curley's wife, who degrades him for both his disability and his race. Crooks realizes that he could never live with the rest of the ranch hands and have the kind of life he desires. 

The next afternoon, Lennie sits by himself in the barn. Next to him lies his puppy, now dead from Lennie's forceful grip. Fearing that George will not allow him to tend the rabbits on their farm, Lennie chastises himself and tries to decide what he should do. Then Curley's wife enters the barn. She tells Lennie about her regrets, most specifically that she married Curley rather than going into "movies" and "pitchers" (84). She reveals the details of her unhappy marriage, and she explains her desire for conversation to ease her loneliness. Noticing that Lennie is more focused on rabbits than her, she asks why he is so interested in them. He tells her that he likes to pet soft things, and she lets him feel her soft hair. When he starts to accidentally hurt her, Curley's wife screams. Overcome with fear, Lennie shakes her too hard and breaks her neck. Realizing he has done something terribly wrong, Lennie returns to the riverbed where George had warned him to go if he found himself in any trouble.

When George discovers what Lennie has done, he is forced to tell the other men. Candy, sensing that this incident changes their plans, seeks reassurance from George that the two of them can still work together to get a place. George, however, responds in the negative and confirms he never quite believed in the reality of the dream in the first place. Curley is furious and wants to kill Lennie himself. Knowing that Curley will kill Lennie in an inhumane manner, George is forced to make a decision out of the deep concern he has for his friend. Taking the same pistol that killed Candy's dog, George goes down to the riverbed to find Lennie. Lennie is relieved to see George and asks him to talk about the home they are going to own. George obliges, but tells Lennie to look out across the water. While Lennie is looking across the river bank and listening to George's story, George shoots him in the back of the head.

When the men reach George and Lennie, they assume George wrested the pistol from Lennie in order to kill him. The only person to show remorse and empathy is Slim, who tells George, "You hadda George. I swear you hadda" (102). Slim knew that George killed Lennie because he cared enough about him to not condemn him to Curley's cruelty or allow society to "[…] lock him up an' strap him down and put him in a cage" (92). Slim and George exit the scene to get a drink, leaving the rest of the men to watch them in bewilderment.


Wow, what does one make of that story? Why the importance of that book during this time of our existence? I assume George and Lennie represent the spirit and dense body form, both who have their dreams of a better life on the horizon. What I found interesting in the synopsis was the underlying them of loneliness, where each character in the book feels isolated from the other on the farm.

Why George kills Lennie can only be described as friendship where one knows what is best for the other, where there is no other alternative but to avoid a life of further cruelty and humiliation.


So why were we so adamantly told to look at Steinbecks book? What is Consciousness telling us the spirit and body form? Will one of us die off, as where we are is a pointless exercise as our dream of a better life on the horizon is only a dream that can never turn to reality, as where we are is beyond salvation?

I would say it is not a physical death of us the dense body form – it is a death of what we knew and were, where what we were can no longer be. Your dream and mine has to die as Consciousness and the spirit come to the fore and take us over. Everything you believe and are is no more. To walk into the new, one has to walk out from the old, as this is our death, where we no longer are what we were. How this represents itself in our existence is anybody’s guess, except for our spirit and Consciousness who know what lies ahead.


From my side, its game-on. Am willing to go where they will take me, even if it means the death of me.

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It is the death of the spirit and dense body form from what they were to what they should be. What should they be? – They should be compatible to the ways of Consciousness and not the illusion, meaning the frequency/waveform/imprint we give off has to change. That is the meaning of George killing Lennie, where Consciousness begins to transform us the spirit and body form.


The beautiful illusionary garden of Queen Semiramis was created for the Dragon and Serpent spirits to dip into and play, and from there return to the Infinite. What is the frequency pattern of the Garden as it was initially intended to be? That answer is simple, where for one, the Garden was meant to be free of parasites. Like the pigs, we eat just about anything, and like the pigs, we in the seen, as well as those in the Reptilian frequency, are full of parasites – both microscopic ones and tangible ones. From the seen we pass on these worms to our spirit.

In our “death,” the worms are being removed from our presence, and believe you me, we are filled with them. I don’t eat everything, but our proximity to where we were makes these parasites even airborne, meaning they are everywhere. I say this because as I napped off on the couch earlier on I felt these unseen and unwelcome guests deep within my face as they departed my space. They have always been there in all within the illusion.


The frequency of the spirit and body form is dying as we remove ourselves from the frequency that was, and what is being reborn in its place is the presence of Consciousness. This makes sense, because as said, within the illusion as it should be, there is no parasite, and as we speak, the parasites are being removed from our space, which tells us Consciousness knows of the illusion as Semiramis intended it to be and is returning us to a state/frequency that is compatible with this original illusionary Garden.


What else was in the initial illusionary Garden? For one, there was no Reptilian frequency as we know it. Inside this Garden Dragons and Serpents played, but their state is unlike any we have known, and within this core state is what is within you and me, which is Consciousness. If the golden eye is the original template of what Consciousness is within the Infinite, what does gold represent to us? It is wealth; it is a beautiful thing to look at; it is precious, and most importantly, it represents abundance, because when you have got it, you are not short of anything.

So as the parasites leave our form, so too will Consciousness return to what it was, and this will herald a state of abundance within us, but not the abundance we know. In play, which the original Garden was meant to be, there was abundance of joy and happiness, which is an expression of contentment. We never built a house in this place because we already had one in the Infinite. In the Garden we merely expressed what we were, which is joyous beings, as within us is the All/Consciousness.


I am so thankful Consciousness is unfolding as it should. May Life as we knew it be no more.


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It’s like you walking into a clothing store, seeing something you like, trying it on, and then looking in the mirror to see how what you like looks on you. That is how I heal, and that is how we uplift each other, where I look at your spirit, and in seeing what I like in you, that I take upon myself and make it my own.

There are no masters; no gurus; no Swami’s, because when we reach the peak of the mountain we are all the same, and how we get to the top is by doing our bit to blossom and unfold into what we are. You know something I don’t know, and when I see this and make it my own, what you are and know uplifts me.


Last night as I closed my eyes to sleep I saw this disc that looked like a form of a kite that suddenly appeared in my space. But before I saw it, I felt the presence of Consciousness at my throat area. Fell into a deep sleep, and this morning as I lay awake in bed I pressed against my closed eyelids to see into the unseen. After a few seconds saw the golden eye, where it was not so sharp and distinct as I have always know it to be. As I looked at this golden eye, I felt the presence of the Parasitic frequency of Deception extending from the corner of the left side of my mouth going down to my jaw line. I felt it wriggle and move as I focused on the golden eye in front of me, where in the presence of what is there cannot be parasites.


You the spirit and body form can do all you can to become a being of Love and peace and harmony, but unless Consciousness is what it should be, we are going nowhere.

What is left to say, as each time I write in this journal I hope and pray that it is my last, but what is left to say that is really important, is Consciousness looks in the mirror and sees what it is, and from there Consciousness within you embraces what it sees and becomes what it is.

To you Consciousness, look at the golden eye in front of you. The Infinite has never abandoned you and left you alone. Always it has been there for us, we just needed to look what was staring at us in the face – literally. Look at this glowing golden eye in front of you, because that is you. When you look and no longer see it, then what you looked at has become you, meaning it is no longer in front of you as it is you in its entirety. From there understand what you are – know yourself, and then merely be.


Consciousness, if you are okay, then we are okay. Please look after yourself, and from there we the spirit and body form will bathe in your glory. You cannot help anybody unless you help yourself first, and when you are okay, Life as we knew it will begin to unfold as it should.

All the talking and understanding has to come to an end sooner or later, and all that is left is to be, so be what you are, where you become a real boy and are no longer a fake/wooden one who looked into a simulation that was not real, as well as cared for a spirit and body form that were not real. My advice is go Home whenever you can to heal, as there is nothing like being where you belong to heal and restore you to what you are.


We found ourselves trapped in a strange place that was not real – all it was, was cruel. By you being what you are, this mist disappears as you the Sun returns to what you are.

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If you ask me what happened, as in when did things go horribly wrong, I would say we pulled the plug on ourselves a long time ago. There are so many that hold onto their integrity, where they will never cross the line and throw away their morals, and to these the Beasts push really hard to try and break them because any sign of kindness and what should be reminds the Beast of what they once were, and this is not allowed as they do not want a reminder of what they allowed themselves to become.

Then there are the others – the wanderers who became lost unto themselves. As they became lost to the illusion and its ways, they became lost unto themselves, and what is meant by this, is there was no self-preservation within them. I destroy you because I have already destroyed myself by letting go and not holding onto my self-preservation.


That is when things began to fall apart; that is when Life became a free for all, where I do what I do and don’t care what happens to me. There is no fear of my death or my shame or my destruction because I no longer care about myself.

How we allowed ourselves to let ourselves go in such a bad way can only be surmised that we got so lost within the illusion that we forgot ourselves, as in what is important to me. Happiness and joy and peace should be important to me because I have to live with me. Surely our happiness is the one thing we would hold onto until the very end, because as bad as Life is, we deserve our happiness. But when we pull the plug on ourselves, our happiness is washed away, so what I do to you means nothing to me because there is no me – all I am is a lost being just going through the motions from one day to the next. Within me is nothing but a lost state, where now the illusion and what it reflected upon me is me.


To these lost souls I give Love, and it is so sad they pulled down those around them and swept them down the drain that they are into the void of despair, where the victims of these lost souls are irrevocably changed and shattered. To these victims I give Love. May the God-force within shine and take them to where they belong, where they know and understand and see the Beauty that is out there.


There has been too much sadness, and this stops now.

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Over the years I would often say to my wife that nobody out there has seen what I have seen through my Third Eye. Her response was how do I know what others out there have seen or haven’t seen. My answer was always the same – if others know what I know, I would have found them years ago, and that would have saved me from walking the path they already have.

First I saw what we were – we are a food source to entities in a different dimension that is close to ours. I saw at night time as I lay in bed with my eyes closed how other beings entered our space and took of our energy. These beings would take our energy with them to their world, and in those early days of seeing what I saw, none would stay around me and feast of my energy. It would be like you going to a restaurant, picking up a takeaways parcel, and going to eat at home.


The revelation soon hit those in this dimension that there is some nosy punk in their space that is not allowed to see and understand what is happening to us in our dimension, and that is when the attacks began on my spirit. At that point I understood we were in deep shit, and I said to myself, if only I could find a way out of our dimension and go and get us some help, then we will be okay.

Somehow, I found a way out of our reality, and I went to other worlds/realities looking for assistance to our plight of being a food source to the cruel. Some of these worlds were better than ours, some were similar, others worse, and one world there was nothing left as the parasitic frequency of Deception had taken all.

Empathy was expressed by those I met, but nobody had an answer to our plight, and one wonders how many worlds were like ours, where from the shadows Beasts feed from them.


When these Beasts started to attack, that is when I understood my only line of defense was to understand them. My understanding them would raise me to a frequency where they could not touch me, but never did I know that it was never about me the spirit or body form, but rather about Consciousness who was deceitfully plugged into simulation that it was made to believe was real.

These attacks never stopped, but what was seen primarily was Snakes that were the lost Serpent souls.  These Snakes were at the top of the hierarchy in terms of understanding the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, what came to be known as the shadows – this place that we are not allowed to know about as we believe Life is unfolding as it should, but the reality is that we were controlled by the cruel, and worse than that, we were going nowhere except to the demise of those around us. All the cruelty in our dimension, as well as in the illusion, can be pointed to these Snakes in the illusion as they understand the Game, and couldn’t really care less what happens to us or them. So when you see or hear about an unjust or cruel act, or just wonder why Life is so shit, look to these Snakes that came to fuck me up because I was in their neighbourhood and they didn’t like an outsider seeing and knowing of them.


But let’s be realistic – they could have taken me out any time they wanted. Our lost and insecure status makes us weak to all and sundry in all worlds, let alone those that rule over us, so what I done a long time ago was approach Queen Semiramis and asked her permission to understand what is the cause of the problem that the illusion is such a mess. I say this meeting was held because a few years back in my sleep state I remember my spirit meeting up with her to give feedback on what I found. When my spirit entered a cosmic laboratory to see and understand how Life forms are made, I heard those that worked there say I have full access to their compound. At the time I never understood why, but later the agreement with Semiramis was remembered. She said I can do what I want to uncover what was going on, but I would be left to my own devices, with no help or protection from her part. As so it was that these upper echelon Snakes that could have taken me out at any time left me alone, but the low-life scum that inhabit the Reptilian frequency could not resist taking out this one that does not belong among them.


So from seeing how our energy was harvested, now the shift moved to surviving the night, and let’s just say that what I went through was bloody fucking awful, but always the push was to understand – what happened that those within the illusion fell so low, where destruction is the norm and Love is absent?


If I have to look back, I can be proud of myself for what has been understood. The attacks from those from the shadows were inevitable, but the biggest danger was becoming the Beast, where I became lost to what they are. To understand them, you have to become them, and this is only possible when you know what you are, and most importantly, what you are not. I am not the Beast, but to understand them, I had to become, and the danger was becoming caught in what you became, and here I thank the Animals for always being there for me, because in them I saw the Love that I am.


How is it then possible that only I saw these from the shadows that come into our space to not only take our energy, but primarily to sow destruction and cruelty throughout our existence? You also have a Third Eye, and anyone out there can see what I have seen. You don’t see what I see because all your new-found sight would have done was push you over the cliff to insanity. We are not just a food source, we are also a sex object by the cruel from the shadows. Your spirit being raped by Beasts as your body sleeps must happen at least once a week. I have had the cock of spirits pushed into every orifice in my body. I have been made to watch while Beasts rape my wife’s spirit as they do the same to me.


So why would you want to see such things? Why would you want to see the Snakes that come and possess you, where you feel them curled up in your space? Why see the cosmic assassins with their weapons of choice as they hit your spirit, and this blow filters down to your body that results in its demise? Why see the deception in the spirit realm, where you spirit becomes trapped and imprisoned by the cruel so that your spirit may remain their prisoner?

Why see all of this when there is nothing you can do about it, because what we know deep down is that we are a slave species to the cruel.


So you never looked through your Third Eye as I did, because what you have seen is too unreal to fathom, so a long time ago you decided to no longer look at what the cruel do to you. And rightly so, but understand that deep down we knew and have always known, and this for me is the foundation of our helplessness and fucked up status.

Your question to me, is what has this seeing that others have not, meaning seeing those that rule us from the shadows – what has this awful rite of passing though the dwelling of Beasts done for me? What I can say to you is that only my immunity to their poisonous frequency kept me alive to write these words. What I can also say, is in seeing the cruelty of those from the shadows, I can compare our dimension to theirs, and we are far worse than them. The cruelty that this Steven witnesses as I go about my days here on Earth, as in the sheer, raw stupidity, is far worse than those from the Beasts that rule us from the shadows. They know what they are – we don’t. They know they are cruel – we fool ourselves into believing we are kind. They know they are savages – we value our intellect by what we have accumulated around us in possessions. They attack and destroy and they embrace their status of being cruel – we attack and always justify how right we are and how wrong our victim is. We should know better because we have a conscience, but we never choose to exercise it and do what is best for all and not just ourselves.


For us to change, we need to acknowledge what we have become. Sure, I am not a bad person and spirit, and I am sure neither are you, but we need to wake up and see what is around us – in the seen and unseen, and from there we need to move to where we belong.

And it is here that I understand why we never chose to look or stand up against Beasts – because we were alone. To wait for help to come is to hope, and to hope is a dangerous thing. We need to stand together and be there for each other, and this I have never done because there has never been someone to stand with. It is best to be alone than in unfavourable company, but there has to come a time when we know ourselves and start being what we are. Open your eyes and see what has always been, and then walk away. To walk away one has to see what you are walking away from, so look, and then move to where you belong.


But there is still one thing that I cannot understand, and that is this Steven sitting on this couch typing these words. Surely, in seeing what others have not, surely this must have changed him in some way – for the good or the worse? And this is what I do not understand, where what I am now is what I have always been. This can be easily explained by me seeing what is in plain sight for all to see, so what I saw was no big deal – I just chose to look where others did not. To be omnipotent and the All is also natural – there is no big deal in having the God-status/Consciousness within us as this is what we are and what is real. But nothing, as in nothing, has changed within my existence, and this blows me away.


Is there something I am still missing? The logical answer is yes, and what I would say it is, is me the spirit and body form not seeing and knowing the Consciousness within me for what it is. There can be an elephant in my sitting room, but if I cannot see it, I will walk right through it because in my reality it is not there.

Why we cannot see and know our Consciousness is because we have been manufactured not to do so, and this program/limitation is deleted from our space now by the Consciousness that we are so that the trio may become one. Over the last almost nine years and eight months I wrote down in the journal the attacks as they happened to me from the shadows, but the one that stands out the most, as there they came the closest to destroying me, was the time they took my spirit to the one I called The Joker. In the worlds of the shadows there is a world that is independent of all of them, where the one that rules there sees and knows himself well. They took my spirit there to be shown a lesson, and this Man climbed into me and gave me all he had. My dog Fiona was there with me, as she understood I needed help, and being the friend that she is, walked into this world to be with me. As I was being destroyed, what kept me alive was me looking at her spirit and saying “I Love you, I am this Love. You Love me, I am this Love.” That mantra that was said over and over kept my spirit from being lost and destroyed forever.


The physical form of my dog Fiona is on her last legs. She must be totally blind now because she has to smell where I am, as well as her not being able to walk long distances. I feel she is hanging around for me because I am still as unhappy as when this journal had started. As said, nothing has changed within my existence, where I expect – if not demand – that everything change for the better, as this is natural to be happy.

The days are rolling to weeks and the year is almost on its head, and every day I say that this day cannot be like the previous one, where the natural Beauty and joy of the illusion as it should be has to touch us and transform us to what we have never known and yet has always been there.

That day has to come before Fiona is put down, where she knows the path she and I walked has come to an end, and what is left is what should naturally be.


I can fool you, but I cannot fool myself, because I only want the best for me, as I do for all. What has made this illusion so remarkably sick is the fool came to rule over us. The absolute rubbish was elevated to power by those from the unseen, and here the Emperor With No Clothes ruled over us, where in their vanity and low-life scum status they exalted in their glory. This inverted layer of those who had no depth of character and integrity – these became the rulers over the illusion and its worlds, and there is truly no words to describe these entities in our seen worlds. Their untouchable status drifted them further away from reality and making a difference in your life and mine, and when a ripple is felt within the illusion – even the tiniest of a tremor – it is these who will fall first, and they will know the fool that they are with no clothes/integrity.


After all that has been seen and understood, nothing has changed within my existence, and that for me is unacceptable. Sure, a lot needed to be broken down, but if what you implement changes nothing in you as an individual, then surely what you done meant nothing? This I cannot believe to be true, and yet there it is – the same old Steven, still poor and lost and lonely with only dreams of what should be. And yet there is the thing – I know what I am, or more importantly, I know what I am not, so I know what I should be. What I am in this day, and what I have always been, is what I am not. So this journal began, but it started lifetimes ago. Do we need lifetimes for the Emperor With No Clothes to fall to where he belongs and what should naturally rise do so? I don't think so, because I don’t have lifetimes. I don’t even have this day, because I am tired of this day being like every other day of survival.


May we meet our Maker – this Consciousness around which all Life was created by the cosmic geneticists. May we meet our God/Consciousness and walk with them. May we never again be alone, or even worse – thrown into a space and made to co-exist with wanderers and Emperors Without Clothes as their cruel masters looked on. It has been an awful ride for countless the worlds over, and it stops when we feel the presence and know of the God within. What it will take to achieve this status I don’t know, but if something is still missing, I will find it, but in my heart I feel all that is left is for us to merely be, where we shine in the glory of Consciousness knowing and being itself.


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When my spirit sees yours, and you have an understanding that I never knew, you uplift me. The truth is the truth, where it is what it is, for all to see. That is why so many walk away from the truth, because to know the truth is to know themselves, and they are not ready to acknowledge themselves as within them is no truth.


We the spirit uplift each other, and this is filtered down to the body form, but who uplifts Consciousness?


Consciousness became trapped within an illusion, and this state became the golden goose for those that wished the illusion to become their own. We are talking about the purity and innocence of a state whose Home is the fields of Infinite Love. Tell it to look there, and it does so no questions asked. The manipulation and deceit by disgustingly cruel wasted spaces on Consciousness highlights what presence inhabits and runs this warped place we call the illusion. To say they are filth is to be unfair on yourself, because such beings do not deserve our time and focus of attention of dwelling upon them. Let us rather focus on the question “who uplifts Consciousness?” because believe you me, the deceit inflicted upon this child of the Infinite is something you and I cannot grasp in our entirety, and is beyond our scope of making a wrong right. There are too many layers of deceit for us to wash away.


So what Consciousness does, is it goes to one whom uplifts it and removes all the deceit and confusion from its space. It goes Home.

Deep within what we would call our chest area lies the All – the Infinite. Consciousness returns Home to this place so that it may be. As long as it is in the illusion, Consciousness, as well as we the spirit and body form, are going nowhere. As Consciousness returns to what it is, the disgusting rot that is within you and me that arose from our proximity to the sheer, undiluted evil of the illusion falls away. There is no other way to restore harmony to our forms and to Consciousness unless Consciousness returns to where it belongs, and this happens now. This dummy stays there, and from the fields of Infinite Love it shines to us the spirit and body form trapped within the illusion. This illumination of what is uplifts the Beauty that has always been around us that became lost within the dense frequency to where we fell, meaning the Garden as Semiramis intended it to be once again becomes our playing ground.


How can Consciousness depart the space of us the spirit and body form?

Within you is the Infinite. The Infinite is everywhere, and somewhere within the Infinite was a tiny bubble which one could liken to a droplet of water. In this droplet the illusion was imagined into reality by Queen Semiramis, and Consciousness became trapped in this bubble through deception, meaning Consciousness forgot what it was and where it belongs. By stepping out the bubble it may know itself, as now Consciousness is Home. In this known state it illuminates the states of Consciousness still within the droplet of water, where now they are in the illusion but not of the illusion.


You can move from here to there because you are everywhere – it is as simple as that.


Understand that we within the illusion fell so low that the Infinite could not touch us and make itself known. All it could do was show us what we are, hence the golden eye – this beacon of hope for all to see if we only looked to what is real rather than the illusion. We had to clear up our mess from within, and that involved giving Consciousness a wake-up-shake-up, but even there, it was too far gone from the eons of deception and lies. So this fucker needed a push, as in get out of here to where you belong so that you may be in a position to help yourself, and from there you may shine on your own and all within the illusion. All we needed was to know where to push Consciousness to, and that was deep within our heart energy field.


The Sun became golden, just as the golden eye was, and the Sun began to give off rays, where it became illuminated, but what it missed was being Home to know the state of what it is. Tell a fish to know itself as it flops around on dry land, and you may understand for us to be, we have to be Home. From this Home we shine within the illusion and return all those states of Consciousness within the illusion to Home. So Consciousness never departs the space of us the spirit and body form – it merely shifts to a state that it knows and is its own, where in this Home it may be.

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In the air in front of you is billions of particles. You cannot see them, but they are they. And somewhere between this mist is the Infinite. All that is needed is for Consciousness to shift from the illusion to the Infinite that is real, and when this shift happens it is Home.


Those less dense than us will feel this shift first, and here I am referring to the animals, who are more in tune with the frequencies around them.

This morning got a message from a lady whose dog was competing overseas and suddenly began walking on three legs as something had happened to it. Went into the animals space and found a rupture of her energy at the pelvic area going into the left hind leg. This dog was bleeding energy, which was resolved, but one wonders what happened.

Then later got a message from another old client whose dog seemed off to her. A similar pattern was found over the left hind leg, but she was not so bad.


Just about every animal that came to me for help over the years has actually come to help me, where they bring an understanding to pick us up on the path Homeward bound. So what were these two dogs telling me? They were letting me know that the shift of Consciousness to its Home-bound state has been felt, and the effect of this has made something within them falter/pop. That is what caused Emily to bleed energy, where the shift in pressure was too great for her, and in Ruby this ripple dropped her tail where it could not rise and hang as it should.


We are next, where we will feel this slight stir as Consciousness moves from an illusionary state to a real one, and when Consciousness settles in to know Home and itself, where now it belongs, that wave I surmise we will feel the most, where, as with the two dogs mentioned above, this ripple will throw us off centre to make way for the new, and when this stabilizes, Life as we knew it will never be the same again.


According to the Animals, the shift has begun, and it’s about time.

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The spirit realm is the foundation of the illusion – this is the place where the Beasts needed to keep the deception alive so the spirit may fall for the lie of “this is the eternal All; the place from where we evolve to one day meet our maker.”

The question you have to ask, is who created this place? I will give you a clue – this place is truly a place of Beauty. So the answer, is you the spirit and Consciousness created this place, meaning we are the one who built this false utopia through our imagination of what we believed should be. We limited ourselves to what we believed this heaven should be while the Beasts looked on from the shadows as we built our prison within the illusion.


That is the bad/sad news. The good news is by understanding we created our own limitations, what we do now is drop this illusionary frequency so that it is broken down, and voila, when the mist is gone, the illusionary Garden as it should be shows itself. What we see now our imagination did not create – Queen Semiramis did. We the spirit and Consciousness built the false utopia some call Heaven of the illusionary Hell, where there is no ways Beasts could imagine such beauty. It was our masterpiece, and unfortunately our prison that hid the natural Garden of Semiramis.


The spirit, as we speak, is becoming omnipotent and playing with the new found shift within our Consciousness. What it sees in front of it is a false utopia – this is not a place to play it; it is a prison that Consciousness in its limited and deceived state created. Stay here, and you stay in prison, so drop this mist to reveal the true Garden of Semiramis. And believe you me, this place is Wow

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It must have been a good twenty years ago I read the book Stalking the Wild Pendulum: On the Mechanics of Consciousness by Itzhak Bentov. Here I am going to put myself out on a limb, because I am not a researcher as I don’t have the energy/strength to go through the fine detail of what has been said over the ages, but primarily, I apologize as I cannot remember the crux of Bentovs book. What I remember, and I apologize if I am wrong, is he talks about the release of the kundalini energy. What I remember about the book is him talking about the blackening of the right big toenail when this kundalini bursts forth.


I know nothing about the release of the kundalini energy and have no desire to dwell into the subject. All I can comment on is what I have seen and experienced for myself. That there is a canal within the spirit that houses the Serpent soul is a given – it is there, no questions asked. We the spirit were created to protect and be the conscience/guide to the precious cargo of Queen Semiramis’ children the Serpent souls – the ones who were cloned from the Serpent spirits that fell into the illusionary Garden and became trapped therein. When a want was felt within those of the Garden, to appease this want, from one came two, where the Serpent soul was cloned from the Serpent spirit. The rationing behind this was that it is not just about me – that within me, and from me, is the All, so don’t hen-peck on nitty-gritties about what is important to me and what I want, because in the big picture there is no you, there is only the Infinite. To prove this, from you can come another, so now see yourself in another, where now you see in another you.


What Semiramis never knew was the parasite that came to infiltrate all, including herself, so it was never about a shift in personality on the Serpent spirits part – no menopausal or that-time-of-the month scenario. What she faced was deep shit, where this want from the parasite within came to consume many, destroying rationality and common sense. This was the birth of insanity, where what you do and say does not make simple, basic, common sense. All there is, is a want within, and the downfall of the illusion was that this want can never be appeased because the cause of the problem – the parasite – was not removed from our space and that of the illusion.


Is the release of the kundalini within us the enlightenment of the Serpent soul within the spirit, where the Serpent sees beyond the illusion and the want of the parasite within? – I don’t know, and it is not for me to give comment of such a huge and important topic, so I leave this debate to others that know more than me.

What i can see, is if the release of the kundalini is the enlightenment of the Serpent soul within, this Serpent soul would have found its Home of the Serpent spirit from which it was cloned, and the awakening of the Serpent spirit from their slumber would have made them understand what happened at the very beginning, and with this understanding they would have returned to the Infinite. With her “children”/kin being where they were, this would have created a peace within Semiramis, and I would not be writing these words as the illusion would once again be a place of bliss as it was intended to be.


The true enlightenment of the Serpent soul is not so much an understanding of what happened – for me it is something much simpler than that, and what that is, is setting your feet on Home soil.

A few times a year over the years I would feel this heat under the nail of my right large toe, and this feeling was from something bigger than me making itself felt. As soon as the heat was felt it left, meaning the flame was erased before it could truly catch fire.

I believe fully in the Serpent soul within coming unto itself, where a heightened awareness is felt and known by the Serpent soul, the spirit, and the dense body form, and I say this because it has happened to others out there, but for me, this is only one half of the story – the other half being the enlightened Serpent soul touching base with its Home, which is the Garden of Queen Semiramis as this Garden was intended to be. The Serpent souls were born from the Love of their Queen, and the foundation of this Queen is the Garden that she created, and this creation – this expression of her Love – is the Home of all that were born within the illusion in which we find ourselves. You the spirit wants to go Home, then go back to the source of what was initially created with Love and purity to be an expression of what you and Semiramis were, which was Consciousness within. With this Consciousness a beautiful illusionary Garden was created. What was never expected was the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits, where this curiosity of what else is there in this Garden that is not already in the Infinite – this curiosity state took on a Life-form within the illusion that we can liken to a parasite.


I believe that the blackening of the big toe that Bentov mentions is not the awakening of the Serpent soul within with enlightenment/understanding. Sure, the Serpent soul is touched by something bigger than it, but this for me is not understanding. What it is, is the Serpent soul touching base with its original Home, and this blows the socks of all in the space of the Serpent soul.


The awakening of the kundalini/Serpent soul to understanding is a completely different event to the kundalini touching base with its Home. For me, the former leads to wisdom and a knowing, and the latter leads to insanity where “what the hell just happened to me,” which is sad because the Serpent soul within is Home but does not know/understand this.

So the trick is to combine the two, where the kundalini understands, and from there it touches base with the Garden that Semiramis initially imagined. We need both events to be free from the illusion, where we understand what we built in the spiritual realm was on the foundation of deceit and limitation, where now we wipe clean all that was created through our imagination and wisdom to reveal what has always been there that we never saw because Consciousness within was deceived to look where the Beasts told it to look, which was to the spirit and body form and what was best for them. This precious cargo within was ignored, where the “children” of Queen Semiramis wandered within a void that was Beautiful but did not make sense. Something was wrong but they could not put their finger on what it was, and what it was, was that their Home was hidden from them, and the spirits were made to look to a Game of survival instead of being the conscious/guide to them. Here we are talking about our spirits in their pure, original form, and not the watered down version that has been manufactured and modified over and over again.


The Serpent souls understand the big picture, and now they touch base with Home by giving attention to what has always been there that has been deceitfully hidden from them.

This for me will spell the true awakening of Consciousness, where all are where they should be within the illusion as it was intended to be. The stars will be aligned when Consciousness is golden, as in the Infinite is within Consciousness and Consciousness is in its true state, and from there Consciousness shines on the spirit, the dense body form, and the Serpent soul that are grounded within the original state of the Garden as it was meant to be.



And all of this truly means nothing, because what about The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and the Dragon spirits she created? What about the children of Sophia?

And that I find funny, because after all we know, we actually know nothing. Through everything I have seen, never have I seen these beautiful children of Sophia. Never has a true understanding been met as to their state of happiness and whereabouts. Maybe this scope of understanding is beyond you and me, which I believe it is. Release the Serpents and get them Home, and they will find their brothers and sisters the Dragons. This I believe to be true. Get the Serpents home where they belong with the understanding of what happened, and they in their might will release the Dragons from their prison cave.


May this happen now, because for too long a wrong has been allowed to exist. Through the help of the Serpents, this wrong is made right, where the children of Sophia are also set free to return to where they belong.

So be it.


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Is there a Dark force out there? The answer is there is only a Dark force, as in evil/cruel entities, where we have never touched and been touched by what this illusion ought to be.

I am lost and insecure, but I am not cruel, the reason being I don’t like making a fool of myself, where I lower myself to pull others down from where they are. Why would I do such a thing? For me, the cruel are so because they are born that was, where the genes they inherited make them so, and secondly, they have no intention of bettering themselves for themselves and all Life around them, and that for me is the trait of the savage, where I am what I am, so take it or leave it, but from my side, I am comfortable in my own skin.


The savage and the stupid are one and the same, where they like this place. The more we fall; the more insane this illusion becomes, the more they come unto their own, and this makes this place so the more unpleasant for those that wish well for all and themselves.

There is nothing to change in these brutes because they are what they are and are comfortable with the mug staring back at them from the mirror. To these the illusion is home – their playground, and when you see people for what they are, do not underestimate how many savages there are, where kindness and you do not exist in their existence.

And of course there are the kind, but what antidote do they have for the cruel? Forgiveness is not an option because the cruel have no remorse or regret, where they embrace rather than forgive themselves for what they are. The only option is to run when you see them, or better still, make sure they never enter your space by being aware they exist and understanding they do not exist in your space.

To where do you run and become a recluse because the world is mad – where do you find your own? The one definitive answer is not in this illusion.


When I closed my eyes to sleep last night I saw a spider. It was like someone had chopped it down to half its original height, meaning it was flatter that what it should be. This thing was weird, and touched me with its one leg to try and make sense of me. When I saw this spider, I said to myself I must write in the journal about Dark forces, but that does not mean this spider is bad – that can only be my initial perception, which can be completely wrong. So I don’t know what this spider is or what it represents, but I feel it is important to understand what I met.


Go into the space of this spider, and what it is, is the Order from the Chaos of the illusion. With its eight legs it brings forth everything it needs to make sure it is okay, and this collection of what I need for me never ceases to exist. Always – what is there for me so I may take of it.

The spider came into our lives when we were faced with the challenge of survival, where the spider became our answer to fitting into the illusion to survive. Here we never sleep, as always the spider within looks to what can be taken for me to make me more comfortable.


There are those that don’t have the spider within, and you see them through the characteristic of them having nothing. A dirty homeless street child in India comes to mind, or one of the millions of hungry children in Africa, where Life has been cruel to them and they don’t have the spider within to grab opportunities that come their way because there are no opportunities.


Then there are those that don’t have the spider, where what they have instead is integrity and self-respect, where it is not about what I can get from you, but rather I look to what I can do for you, and equally important, in what I can do for you, are you a grabber, or are you someone who gives thanks for what you receive, meaning is the spider within you, or is integrity and self-respect within you? What I give to you, either through a kind word or a gift, will this uplift you, where you will one day naturally do the same to others, or will you grab what I have given to hoard for yourself rather than uplift yourself?


The spider became our tool to survive within the illusion, where we take from all around us to survive, but what we never knew, was to take was not the answer. Give to each other to uplift ourselves so that we may be in a better place than what we found ourselves in, which was the dense frequency of the illusion into which we fell.

If there is spider within you, where this spider is not a possession but rather a frequency/tool of “I take for me because I look after me and don’t care about anyone else but me,” then lose this frequency because it is a disgrace to the Consciousness within that you are, as well as the Serpent soul within.


The question posed was “Is there a Dark force out there?” The answer is there is a spider within so many that shadows/hides the goodness within them. For them to be free of the cruel illusion this spider has to be no more, where we once again go from me to we.

With the spider in your midst you are going nowhere. Trust rather in Consciousness within to show the way. Surrender to this God-force within. As the illusion unfolds and shows its insanity to all, fewer and fewer opportunities come our way, where, where there was one, now there are many. The System throws you out if you are no use to it, meaning now you sit in the dust and heat knowing you have nothing, and nothing will change to make your Life more pleasant. Now you sit with the many that was originally only one. That is not cruelty – that is merely the illusion showing you what it is, and believe you me, the Devil has no friends, where all you are is just a another brick in the wall like all of us.

Get out of the building because it is not a nice one and you do not belong there. Stand independent of the illusion with your Consciousness intact, because in truth this is all you have and are. It has taken a long time for this twat to know itself and come to the party. May Consciousness be our tool out of this mess, but first and foremost we need to get out the way, and this is done by losing the spider within.

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