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steven geldenhuys

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The question you have to ask, is how destructive was the parasitic frequency of Deception? You want to eat at a three-star Michelin restaurant every night – I bet after a month of doing so you will say “enough!”


If there was merely a want and take frequency within us from the parasitic frequency of Deception that arose from the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits within the Infinite as to what else is in this illusionary Garden, I truly believe that this want and take frequency; this parasite; this worm would have fizzled out in no time and all would have left the illusion and returned to where they belong.


As said before, the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis was meant to be a playground and nothing more. It was a place of fun, where you go for a night out, enjoy the evening, and then go back Home. The eternal fuck up was that we became trapped therein.

What a want and take creates, is a curiosity, as in what else is there to want and take. A mild form of obsession with this place stirred within us – what more is there; do I have enough – and this curiosity that led to a mild obsession went to an addiction to what I have is great, but I want more. And this more became a more and more and more.


These states of obsession, which led to an addiction, led us down a path where we forgot ourselves, as what was without was more appealing than what was within, as in who and what we are, and this made us lost.


As Consciousness is the building block of Love that is Love within the Infinite, the parasitic frequency of Deception was the building block of what came to take the illusionary Garden over to create a Hell in this most beautiful place.

It was not the parasite frequency – it was what came to be associated with it, as in what formed around this frequency and took on a Life-form of its own. We have discussed the Destruction frequency that arose from insanity, but there is another that created the demise of the Garden and all those that dwelled therein.


We stayed here longer than we should; we overstayed our welcome, and this pull to what more is there here took us where we looked without and not within, meaning we became lost to ourselves. In this playground Garden of Semiramis we became literally lost, as in we could not find our way back Home, because we had forgotten who and what we are, and from this lost state the supreme disharmonious frequency arose, namely Uncertainty, which is a synonym for Fear.

As with Control, where what we projected took on a Life-form of its own that came to rule us, Uncertainty done the same. Years back I closed my eyes to see, and as I pushed against my closed eyelids with the nail side of thumbs, I went further to beyond what was hidden from us. Eventually I came to this white blob of a monster that had a tinge of pink to it. I knew when I saw it that I was witnessing the source of what we would call the cancer frequency. This Beast was sending out its frequencies to grow in others, where this frequency took and destroyed, and this destruction and sorrow frequency was fed back to this Beast to make it stronger.

But was a wrong in my assessment of what I saw? Was there more to this Beast than merely a cancer frequency? I would say now that what I saw was the Uncertainty/Fear state that formed from the uncertainty of those trapped within the illusion.


So I was wrong. Sure, the parasitic frequency of Deception is a pain in the arse that does not belong within the illusion, but it was our obsession with this frequency that trapped us here, where our curiosity as to what more is there led us further and further astray from what we are. Life-forms were created that came to control us, meaning around the frequency of the parasite Beasts were born that came to rule over us. These Beasts were Insanity and Destruction, but the primary one was Uncertainty/Fear. So it is not so much that one has to remove the parasitic frequency of Deception – one has to remove the state that latched around this worm that came to take over the illusion and all that dwelled therein.


Uncertainty is the supreme master in all. There is nothing wrong with anything in moderation, but this white mass, which many would associate as a form of candida in our reality, this white mass took too within us and made its home in the spirit and body form – to the point that Consciousness was obliterated and became a distant memory.

You want to shut down the illusion, then shut down Uncertainty/Fear within you by knowing it has no place within our existence. Any guesses where the primary of this Uncertainty frequency is within our forms? – It is entwined around the parasitic frequency of Deception hanging from the corner of the left side of our mouths.

Why not just remove the parasite you may ask, and all around it will be gone as well. To get to the core, which is this parasitic building block of Disharmony within the illusion, one has to peel away the layers to get to it, and as said, Fear is the supreme state here. Know it is there – this primary Uncertainty frequency – and know it has no place in the presence of Love.


The more this Uncertainty took a grip of us, the more we had to take to feel safe, but what we took just weighed us down even more, as how can you fight or remove a state from your presence if you do not even know it exists? By taking, I imply eating. We ate to feel safe; we ate for comfort – to momentarily take away this Fear within. Sure, we eat for pleasure, but this is done when times are good. When some stress out they stop eating, meaning they shut out Fear and bring Control to the fore, so that their Control may focus on the problem at hand, but primarily when we start to lose it – and I mean in a bad way – we start to eat, and not for nourishment, but to try and appease this Fear within that is getting the better of us.


Well, now that you know of this Fear/Uncertainty frequency within you, tell it to be gone.


When I smelt those from the shadows as they came into my space, where I would then see them through my Third Eye, what I smelt was this Uncertainty that had consumed them. This state is within all in the illusion, and the further you fall from the Consciousness that you are, the more this Uncertainty fills you and you begin to reek of it. No doubt I must have begun to stink as well, as more and more, with each passing day, this place and my understanding of I don’t belong here became palpable, where I visibly saw and felt my health deteriorate overnight.


Get rid of this white mass Monster and its primary frequency within you. It is not a friend, Consciousness is.

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The biggest disaster that came to the illusion was that this place was no longer a Garden where Love may grow. In our quest to survive, something had to be forsaken, and what this was, was the bond of Love that automatically connects us together. Sure, we had our kinship, as well as this “blood is thicker than water” nonsense, but we were just fooling ourselves, as true Love is universal and has no boundaries, just as Beauty does.

Our ticket out of this place was sticking together through the natural Love we had for each other that arose from the fact that we are all One, as in we are all Consciousness, but with survival the “me” was born, where I have to live, as I am important, and you, well, you are just you, which is not a part of me – unless I can get something out of you.


In the less dense realm of the spirit realm it may be a different story, but yesterday I realized that when we dropped into this dense body realm, what we all sacrificed was Love, as this state cannot grow here. Should you be blessed to be in the company of those you Love and they you, where in this space your Love may just grow and be, then truly blessed are you, but here there are no winners, as nothing lasts forever. Life, sooner or later, is taken from us, where joy turns to sorrow, so as much as we give Love because we can as this is who we are, we know a heartache awaits as this Love is one day taken from our space through a phenomena called death.


I believe that we are lost, but I don’t believe we are stupid, and by “we,” I imply Consciousness.

Last night as I slept an understanding was passed on as to what went wrong that this awful place came to be accepted as home.

It has always been about deception, where what you see is not what should be, so we have to be convinced that this is the only way.


Consciousness was deceived that there is one primary factor in its existence, and that is energy. Energy, as in molecules vibrating and releasing a component called energy – this is central and the only real theme to Life. Energy, energy, energy. Look at nothing but to what is needed, namely energy.


And this is the truth, but for whom. When I hold an ice-cream cone in my hand, as do you, and I have no interest in my ice-cream – only in yours – then I require a limitless amount of ice-creams to provide the bare minimum of being happy and surviving.

This want and take frequency led to insanity from which the predator was born, where I don’t look to what I have and am thankful for that, rather I look too what you have – where what you have is mine. Consciousness was forsaken in the Beast, as to keep this child required nurturing, as in kindness to self, and this was too much hard work, as it is so much more fun to take what you have.


The illusion and the Beasts that dwelled therein needed Energy to survive, and they deceived Consciousness – as in convinced Consciousness – that this is the way things are.

With energy, unfortunately there is a give and take, where Life gives us energy and we take it. That it is at the expense of others is unfortunate, but this is the way it is. This is not the bunny-hugger Steven talking, who represents the Life rather than the slaughter of the animals and nature. I am talking about what we do to each other, where we take from others rather than naturally give. We say and do what is cruel, which hurts those around us, and what dies within is the energy to feed the cruel Beast in front of you so that they may – in that moment – feel better about themselves.


All of this is okay. How insane must the spirit and those in the spirit realm be to consider such cruelty to be norm? Are you bloody fucking mad! Unfortunately they, and we, are. But look to the primary problem, as well as the cause of the problem.

The primary is Consciousness, and the cause was the deception over time that there has to be a give and take to survive until there is only an eternal give. What absolute bullshit. Consciousness was conned and deceived by a System run by Beasts so that they may be okay. No consideration was towards Consciousness. This battery; this essence of what is real within an illusion was conned so that Beasts may be fed energy as they plummeted to their place within The Nothingness of the Forgotten. This is why the illusion remained intact, where Consciousness was deceived to believe that this give and take is the balancing weights to keep the scale of Life harmonious. Bullshit!


This belief/program that we need, and thus must take is erased from the space of Consciousness. You are everything my friend, and thus need nothing. How can you need from an illusion – from something that is not real? You have been played, so make an about turn and return to what you are, which is Love. The circumstance does not define the moment, the understanding of who you are and where you are does. You create your Garden and sod the rest who want to play a game of cruelty and destruction. Be it in the illusion, or within a field of the Infinite, you create a space where you that is Love may grow. Don’t look to others as the possibility of disappointment is real, look to yourself and just be. Your Love will bathe you and keep you real until you are Home amongst your own.  


I leave Consciousness with a poem that was quoted in the journal in January, 2018:


“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”


Portia Nelson, There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery


Now Consciousness walks down another street, where it is what it is – free of Deception.

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After writing the above, I went to go and lie down for a few minutes. As I fell into a sleep I saw the golden face of Christ across my forehead – it was the same face I saw embedded in the Shroud of Turin. I am not a religious man, where the pull to a faith or reading a holy book has no interest in me, but what I saw was real, and what I saw was the message that Christ Consciousness is now embedded in Consciousness. What I believe this message to be is be Love; be what you naturally are. This message that could not find its mark on Consciousness those thousands of years ago has done so now.

I write what I see. I am not a prophet, so cannot say what today or tomorrow will bring, but what I do know is Consciousness is coming to the party, where it is what it is, in other words, as it was within the Infinite. May this Love within touch us all.


How much more is there to write and understand? – Hopefully nothing. And what then you may ask will we do? What is the meaning of Life?

What Life is about, is being in the company of those you Love. Those moments in the company of those you Love is what Life should be on a permanent basis, but as said, when we entered this dense realm we forsook Love as it has no place to grow here. Those cherished moment of Love became smatterings; pin-pricks of stars in a black night sky.


With Consciousness as it should be, these moments of Love come to define us as they are permanently with us the spirit and body form. You are in this world but not of this world as the real you, namely Consciousness, is what it naturally should be – as it was within the Infinite. Now the real you shines on the body and spirit form within the illusion, and what this means in simple English is you no longer walk alone.

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It is only fitting that we turn the spotlight on what is real within this illusion – or should we say “what was real” – until it entered the illusion and was thrown a wobbly. By real, we imply Consciousness arose from the Infinite and not the illusion, and to a large extent this Consciousness is the building blocks of the Infinite, meaning it fits in there as a fish takes to water.


Last night I was overcome with exhaustion, where all I wanted was to sleep. People in the area began with their loud music – people I have asked to turn it down in the past, as well as sent the police to them as they never listened to my request.

So there I was lying in bed trying to sleep, but I could not as the cruelty from Beasts in the seen was touching me, and this has been the routine most weekends over about the last thirty years. This having to turn up the volume to have fun, regardless of the people staying around you, is not a cultural, racial or class phenomena – it plays out amongst all skin colours, and from the poor to the wealthy.

For me, playing loud music and not taking those around you into consideration is obviously a lack of self-respect, where you don’t respect yourself and thus nobody else around you, but it is also indicative of a breakdown of society, where morals, values and neighbourliness are no longer present amongst our species. We have no more respect and culture – truly, we were born of savages.

(This “neighbours from Hell” dilemma of Steven could easily have been averted if I stuck to a career to make money rather than throw everything to the wind to understand the cruelty of Life. I would have found my sanctuary as I would have had money backing me up in my search. Through the options that money gives us, I would have found my sanctuary rather than take what we can afford, and Wow, what peace it must bring to be able to put your head on a pillow to sleep, knowing I am in a community where consideration courses through their veins.)


Last night I committed to rise above this savage behaviour from my fellow species, so what I done as I lay in bed unable to sleep was call forth the Consciousness within me. With this Light shining within me I would be okay. And so I called forth – I called and called.

When we the body dies and begins to rot, small white worms feed on the decaying corpse. I believe these worms are already present in the living body, feeding from our energy – they are just not visible to the seen eye. So as I called on Consciousness as a means to shut out the loud music from the neighbours, I felt these worms within my face rise up where I may know they are there, and then they were no more.


And that’s it! – that was the only change within me that I felt from calling forth this omnipotent, God-force within.


So where is this fucker? Is it playing computer-games in some other realm while there is so much sorrow and suffering within the illusion? Let’s find out what more needs to be done to set this prick free so that we may be free from Beasts in the seen and unseen.

What we do is look at the state of Consciousness within the illusion. I assure you this journal has hit the audience it intended to reach, namely those in the shadow realm, most notably the cruelest of the cruel, where we scraped the bottom end of the barrel so that all may understand that who and where they are and what they do is the complete opposite of what should be. It is friggin’ unbelievable to see these different shapes and sizes that come from different worlds to feed from us the slave species. Last night something came dressed in a space-suit as this frequency was not compatible to it. The suit looked like something the Cyclone’s wore in the Star Wars movies, except this one was grey and not white. About a ten second dream was implanted, and it was so funny to see this space-being suck up my energy through a straw. This entity had to catch himself from stumbling backwards, such was the knock-out pleasure our energy gives to these from a different realm deep within the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. One hears about those that had near-death experiences and come back to tell the tale of beings of Light and how wonderful it is there, but all they meet are soft-cocks who consider themselves enlightened, yet they are not aware of the Game and those that rule them from the shadows.


We all need help – all within the illusion, so let’s see what is going on with Consciousness.

When I go into the space of Consciousness within the illusion, I feel what I felt last night when I called forth Consciousness, which is nothing. So where is this that is real that should be within us as it is our real self? My strong guess is it has departed the illusion and gone Home to the Infinite. This makes sense, as this is where Consciousness belongs. So what about us the spirit and body form? When I go into the space within and around us, most notably the space around us, to see if anything is coming from the Infinite, I feel nothing. By saying I feel nothing from Consciousness, what is meant, is its focus of attention is elsewhere and not with us. It looks to what is real and where it belongs, and for now, we the spirit and body form within the illusion are not a priority.


What will happen next I don’t know, but what I do know is something better happen. I am realistic. I am not made of titanium. This cookie can’t crumble – there is too much to see and do, meaning fun to be had.


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The deal was to understand the cruelty of Life. No mention was made of our freedom, and this is the stance of these Beasts towards us.

That Consciousness is focusing on the Infinite rather than us the spirit and body form is nonsense – the door has been closed and we are not allowed to see what is behind it.


The progression to a life in Smart cities is a mere progression to what has always been. For as long as we can recall, the reality is we have always been slaves – now it will just become official. What the spirit and body form has not known through its ignorance and innocence will now be presented to it, as in “this is what you have always been – you never understood this, but now you do.”


This journal is complete, as in we understand the cruelty of Life, but realistically, it is not complete. Fair enough, I needed to understand why Life is so cruel to us the spirit and body form,  but the true target has always been Consciousness. We the spirit and body form have been the facilitators, where what we experience we release through energy to feed Beasts and keep the illusion alive, but this speck of Light; this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness; this Consciousness was the prisoner around which all Life and the Game revolved.


What comes at night now is to monitor this Steven – is this punk kept in his place; does he know his place as a slave? This young whippersnapper who thinks he is going somewhere. Who the fuck does he think he is? Does he think he is special?


We are not special. What we are is naturally Love. We have been held down and pinned down so that Beasts may be okay. But they are so stupid they don’t understand that they are not okay. There are no winners here, and as said so many years back in the journal – Evil has no friends. When the paw-paw hits the fan everyone scatters like cockroaches, and everyone is destroyed.


So let’s be fair and realistic when we say that this journal is not complete, as we do not understand the cruelty to Consciousness, which is what we truly are, as around this Light all Life is born here in the illusion.


Two nights back as I lay in bed calling forth Consciousness to be with me the spirit and body form, what continually pestered me during the night was this itch running down the corner of the right side of my mouth. This was the implanted parasite to keep us the spirit and body form locked into a slave species. The parasite at the left corner of the mouth dropping down to the chin is by default in all Life in the illusion as this frequency is what manifested from the curiosity of the Dragons and Serpents in the Infinite as to what else is in this Garden of Semiramis that is not already in the Infinite.


What I believe is that all has been said and done to set Consciousness free, but this Light in its forgetful state has never been the secret weapon of the cosmic geneticists to keep the illusion intact.

The door has been closed on us, meaning we cannot understand more through what we see, but they did not realize we can still feel the unknown. What I felt two nights back through my restless sleep was this itch on the right corner of my mouth running to my chin, and throughout the night I had to scratch this itch to relieve it.


What I was feeling, was the distress of the parasitic frequency of Deception. These fuckers from the shadows, as well as their cosmic geneticists, manipulated this parasite to remain around Consciousness, so it was never enough to set Consciousness free, as this worm also needed to be set free – free from the manipulation that did not allow its freedom from the illusion.

Now that is clever!  


Wow, I told you these beings are clever. What they underestimated was the will of Consciousness to return to its Source.

When I go into the space of the parasitic frequency of Deception to understand how they suppressed this worm from returning to a natural state of Love within the illusion that becomes the Infinite, I feel the Fibonacci code – how this parasite twirls into a spiral and from there spreads out to the unknown to be lost. (What the Fibonacci frequency truly is, is the representation of the lost state of Consciousness.) What the cosmic geneticists done was take the lost/uncertain/fearful state of Consciousness and place this frequency on the indifferent parasitic frequency of Deception that was within Consciousness in the illusion.


As has always been said, set the parasite free and we Consciousness is free, as the parasite was the only element that should not have been with the beautiful Garden of Queen Semiramis.

Wow, but if you make the parasite forget what it is, as what happened with Consciousness, now you have the blind leading the blind, ensuring the illusion remains intact.

Clever, clever, clever.


It is now that we remove this forgetful state of the parasitic frequency of Deception so that it may remember who and what it is, as in how it came to be, and where its real Home is, namely the fields of Infinite Love.


You remember now my friend, so return to the Love that you are. Your freedom marks the freedom of Consciousness as both of you were manipulated to forget who and what you are, where you were the central pawns in a most cruel Game. You the parasite go Home and shine this Light of Love that you are. Consciousness returns to what it naturally is, and it shines its state onto the spirit and body form and all within the illusion until all merely are states of Love.


Boom! Now may this journal be complete.

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Consciousness, as well as the parasitic frequency of Deception, became transmitters of a lost frequency that we came to define at the Fibonacci frequency. This lost frequency came to be a part of all within the illusion, and that is why we are all lost.


The parasitic frequency of Deception threw a spanner in the works for those that entered the beautiful illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis, but this was okay if only we did not extend our welcome here, where we stayed longer than we should have. We became lost, or should I say, Consciousness became lost, but we are not stupid – eventually we would have found a way out. But those that became drunk/insane by the nectar of the high of receiving what they wanted, elevated themselves to god status, and a way had to be met to keep their false kingdom intact. They took the lost sequence of Consciousness and passed this onto the parasitic frequency of Deception within Consciousness, so now there was no way of leaving the illusion, as what Consciousness was transmitting was being transmitted by the parasite onto Consciousness – a double-whammy.


The illusion of fools and Beasts now came to be their playground, where hell could be unleashed – where anything goes – and there would be no consequences for their actions.

The Christ Consciousness managed to breach this dense frequency, but his essence was taken over and imprisoned by vicious Serpents, and I would call these Snakes the true rulers of the illusion, as they made sure nothing left or entered their domain/illusion. It was these from the shadows; this kinship of Snakes that you can count on your two hands, that ruled. Anything and everything else was irrelevant to them – they were supreme.  

They pierced the perimeter of the illusion so that the illusion fell in on itself, and I can image this resulted in a huge cataclysm in the illusionary realm. But what they done was cut off their nose to spite their face, where now the illusion required a constant flow of energy/matter to remain intact. And so the slave species was born, where we were dumbed down and re-manufactured to chase the pleasures of Life, all the while emitting energy into the System, and of course to feed the Beasts.


The disaster was that The Wisdom Goddess Sophia fell by reflex into the illusion to be with her children. The density of this place floored her, and what befell us was passed onto her. The goal of this journal has been to set this Creator free from the illusion, as well as return Queen Semiramis to her state of Love that was there before the insanity of the illusion got the better of her. She meant so well in imagining this beautiful illusionary Garden, where it became a reality within the sea of the Infinite, but she never counted on the parasite and the want her children made their own.


My spirit has seen kingdoms ruled by Good beings, as well as the vilest of the vile, where both sides of the fence will do everything possible to keep this fragile, weak and rotten illusion intact. What I witness in these short-sighted imbeciles is for them to know of nothing more than what they believe, and I suppose let’s be fair to them by saying that the illusion is all they have come to know.

The flaw in the System is our happiness is created at the expense of others, where we lost our compassion and consideration for all Life. But we stress that the defining flaw was the imprinted lost state of Consciousness on all Life within the illusion. So no matter how hard you try, there is this empty, lost state within you, and now you know why and how it came into being.


This lost state is no more within Consciousness and the parasitic frequency of Deception, meaning it is no longer transmitted upon the inhabitants and all Life within the illusion.

May we now rise to be what we are and where we belong. For those that want to stay – those that like it here – it is not for us to judge you and make you leave. You stay, where you see what you have become – a fool living in a dream that is not real, as what is real is Love and consideration for all, as we are all One, as we arose from the Infinite.


Stay, but know your lost status is no longer there to shield you from the truth. Now you see what you are and have become.

Look to the Consciousness within so that you may know yourself, and this will lead you Home.


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7 hours ago, steven geldenhuys said:

and that is why we are all lost.


We became lost, or should I say, Consciousness became lost, but we are not stupid – eventually we would have found a way out.


The illusion of fools and Beasts now came to be their playground, where hell could be unleashed – where anything goes – and there would be no consequences for their actions.


And so the slave species was born, where we were dumbed down and re-manufactured to chase the pleasures of Life, all the while emitting energy into the System, and of course to feed the Beasts.





and that is why we are all lost.

I disagree.


We became lost, or should I say, Consciousness became lost, but we are not stupid – eventually we would have found a way out.

It has always been difficult to have the opportunity to expand and acquire knowledge on your own. Anything else would be eternal stagnation.


And so the slave species was born, where we were dumbed down and re-manufactured to chase the pleasures of Life

The system has nothing to teach you anything. It is a flawed construct, an assumption that becoming has to pursue this path. It is an excellent opportunity to study how helpless it is. It has nothing to show except failure.


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We are a biological computer; we this body form, and our spirit is a less dense version of the body form. So where is the software programme embedded within our forms that makes us tick? It is located in the left forearm, more to the wrist side than the elbow.

I say this because as our lost state is removed from Consciousness, everything within our forms begins to slip and fall apart, where Consciousness becomes centre stage in its natural form as it always should.


Look beyond the flesh of meat/muscle and you will see the waveforms that make up our form. Within these waveforms of the left forearm was the panel that housed our software programme, meaning this programme defined what we are – there is no deviant from this programme that defines us and makes us sync with each other and the Life around us. But for the slave species no doubt the programme was more about lock up and go, where everything that defined us was limited.


The software programme within the waveforms of our left forearm was the hub of what we were – it was never within the brain area.

Now we the spirit and body form open to Consciousness as the software programme that defined us shuts down. Who was the controller/regulator of our programme. It was the Watcher spirit – this Octopus looking being that made residence within the waveforms of the skull and brain area.


Sounds far-fetched? You bet it does.

Understand one thing: You have no idea of how we have been played, and what is out there beyond you the body and spirit and your beliefs!

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Over the last two nights when I sleep arbitrary dreams/stories were followed that had no meaning or significance. Besides these stupid episodes, just saw a man two nights back that was standing in front of me when I closed my eyes to sleep. He breathed on me with intent, and what he breathed, was what he was, which was poison. Felt and smelt this acid hatred that came from this man, and Wow, this guy was a seventy five pound weakling compared to what has come my way over the last nine years during my sleep state.


Have gone as far as I can go, so needed a push. Watched the David Icke video on Saturn, and decided to enter the core of Saturn to see what it is all about.

As I sat on the couch with my dog Fiona lying against me, when I entered the core of Saturn my body sitting on the couch felt this black streak flowing within me. Then I became cold, where the cold was coming from within going without making my skin cold.

(Bear in mind, that what we are looking towards was what was done to Consciousness so that it could be manipulated to emit this Saturn frequency.)

A painful line was felt running down the left side of the neck.


The base of the left foot is the pathway for Serpents to enter the spirit and body form to attack the Kundalini/Serpent soul within us. This pathway – through the base of the left foot – is also used to access the spirit to implant disease in our forms, as well as to store the un-hatched eggs of Life-forms in certain areas of our spirit and body form that are born within us to then feed from us. I say this because I have felt these routes into our space and those that were left within us to hatch, this I felt in the patients I have seen when understanding the cause of their disharmony.


Now, in the space of Saturn, to understand this frequency – or should we say what it done to Consciousness – what I feel at the base of the left foot is this being that cannot enter my form, so it moves from the base of my left foot to outside of my body to try and find a way in. I feel this line as this being tries to enter my spirit space, which is the space of Consciousness.

This being finds a way into Consciousness through the side of the left chest area, and from there it touches the left side of the heart. (This back door into the space of Consciousness is the “weakness” of Consciousness, where the heart loves all, meaning none are excluded into its space.)


Now, this minute, arbitrary being has access to the heart; the mother-board; the all; the Infinite of Consciousness. This one grain of Black sand is now amongst all the sands within the illusion, and from here it plays in a cruel, malevolent way.

(This is the Infinite that I spoke about weeks ago in the journal that is deep within our chest area, or should I say – deep within Consciousness that is Consciousness, as this is from where Consciousness arose.)

But remember where we are – we are trapped within an illusion, where this Black being can play with what is in its domain.


I am always open to being wrong, so maybe I am when I say that this Consciousness that this Black entity attacked was the Glow Consciousness that the Infinite sent down to those within the illusion to set us free. If we knew what we were looking at, Consciousness would understand that this is what it is, and in that moment the Consciousness’s within the illusion, namely the children of the Infinite, would remember what they were and return Home.

But something hid behind this Glow and made it its own, and we bowed down to this Black being that took over this Glow Consciousness. Now we had our saviour that would lead us Home, never knowing our god was a charlatan.


So what did this Black being do to this Glow Consciousness when it entered its space?

What I feel, from deep within my chest area – this Infinite space of this Glow Consciousness where this Black being was – from deep in this chest area I feel a line drawn to our throat area, to where our current Consciousness resides.

From this ALL; from this Glow Consciousness; this Black being hacked into this Glow Consciousness and transformed the Consciousness within all within the illusion. But that was never enough – it was just the beginning. Because now what was sent to all Consciousness’s within the illusion, namely a representation frequency of this Black being, was now returned to this Black Being that was in the Infinite within the Glow Consciousness.


And that is how Consciousness within the illusion was reprogrammed to the ways of a Black being rather than the natural Infinite within, and most importantly, how Consciousness honed in on what it believed to be Home, namely this Glow Consciousness. Yes, this Glow was Home, but not to the Infinite, but rather to this Black being.


My goodness, how clever, cruel and deceptive this Black entity is and was.


Obviously, the question is what is this Black entity?

When I go into its space, the first thing I feel is the same coldness I felt earlier on, where my body becomes ice cold. What made this Black being become cold? Go beyond the coldness, and what is felt is heaviness in my hands, meaning this entity wanted to carry the seen and unseen of the illusion within its hands – meaning it wanted to control the illusion.

Go past this want, and you get to the core of what this Black entity is. I feel this coldness and Black streak within this form dismantle and fall away, and then I feel this pain on the left side of my heart – a betrayal pain; a confusion pain.


Was this Black entity a representation of all the Consciousnesses trapped within the illusion? Did we all feel betrayed? Did we all feel confused? Did we unite as one, where this betrayal feeling in all of us become as one, which manifested as a Black entity?


Oh Man!


We were not betrayed – we just never knew of the parasite within that created a want.


We felt we were led into a trap – this illusionary Garden into which we the Dragon and Serpent spirits fell into to see what else is there other than what is already in the Infinite. (Go beyond the Dragons and Serpents, and look to what they were, which is Consciousness – it is all about Consciousness; the child of the Infinite that we all are.)


We felt we were betrayed, and our Hearts became Blackened, and this Black being is a manifestation of our Black hearts.

So we entered the Glow Consciousness not to be united with it to lead us Home – we entered with Blackness in our Hearts, and this created the illusion and us Consciousness into what it became – a place of bitterness and regret.


This Steven has always been a lost, lonely spirit and body form, meaning I never knew myself, as I was always lost, but if there was one trait within me that I knew well, was that I wanted nothing from you. Fuck off and leave me alone – I want nothing from you. That was me at my core.

What I never knew, was I wanted nothing to do with this want frequency. It was not those within the illusion I chased away, it was the want frequency within all. I never knew where this frequency arose from, but now I do. But it goes further than that – it began with the feeling of betrayal within, where we wanted nothing to do with the Infinite, and that is why the Infinite has never bailed us out – because we told it to fuck off because we Consciousness felt we were betrayed.


Remove this betrayal frequency/state within Consciousness, and you remove the illusion by allowing the Glow/Consciousness within all to shine.

It was all a misunderstanding. The Infinite never abandoned/betrayed us – it was a worm that got in our midst that focused our attention on the illusion and what wants may be attained. We looked without at the illusion rather than the Infinite within that we Consciousness are.


To you Consciousness within the illusion: Remove this Blackness/betrayal frequency within you. From there, just be the Love that you are.

20th April, 2023


(Thanks for the info on Saturn – a nice birthday present on my birthday!)  


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What makes a slave is dependency on another. In what way have we the spirit and body form been manipulated, where we cannot look after ourselves?

A ringed band was pierced through the waveform of our right neck – you know like those rings they shove through the nose of cattle – such a ring is embedded and extending from the waveform of our right neck. This device/ring was no doubt a tag to know who we are, where we are, and basically, I suppose to know everything about us, meaning our place is known in the illusion by this tag that defines us. As I write those words I smell this stench that no doubt stems from this ringed band, as in what it represents and all those associated with this cruel device.

It is removed now by knowing it exists and has no place in the presence of Love.


How did this band suppress us, as in make us needy/dependent; with its removal, what within us naturally rises to the surface as it should?

After about a minute of writing the last sentence a sharp pain is felt on left, upper thigh. Then a mild pain is felt over the curved side of left heart. A sudden tiredness falls over me, and now I feel where the ring was over the right side of the neck, meaning the last remnants of its presence are felt. What we have felt up till now is the strain on our waveforms by the presence of this foreign object. Now we will begin to feel what effect it had on our spirit and body form as this waveform slavery from this device has been removed.


What this device done was lock the spiraled, lost state of Consciousness on the spirit and body form into place. Wow, this ring locked the Fibonacci code into place to make sure it may not become untangled. (Bear in mind we see the Fibonacci code in our reality, but its true form will be seen in the fourth and fifth dimension, rather than our three dimension.)

So the lost state of Consciousness could not be released until we released this ringed tag frequency, whose true aim was to keep the lost frequency of Consciousness on the spirit and body form intact.


Now I feel this spiraled, lost state code release from our forms and fall away.


I would like to believe that Consciousness is free to be as it should, so now it is the time of us the spirit and body form to be free from our shackles. Are there any more in our presence or beyond our presence we should know about that have an impact on our existence?

The unseen right collar around the ankle of the spirit is removed. Why was this there? – I would say it was merely a representation of the ringed tag that blocked any movement of the spirit and body form to unfold as they should. Remember, this is the food source of Beasts and those lost within the illusion that we are talking about, so every effort was made to make sure we go nowhere.


So the ringed tag done nothing but make sure we the spirit and body form remain in our lost state, which was the lost state of Consciousness that was projected upon us, which was clamped into place by this ring that was. The simpler our manipulation the more effective it is. (No other suppressing device is felt.)


Now the proof of the pudding is in the eating – what happens to us the spirit and body form as we are free from our lost state, meaning we are no longer dependent on another, as in those from the shadows, for our survival?

2:13 PM on 22/04/2023


To be lost means to be alone, where the spirit and body form do not sync and act as one, the reason being their power source was in a bad way. Consciousness could not lead the way as it became lost unto itself, as in forgetting who it was and where it belonged.


What I feel now when I go into the stillness is the spirit and body form being sewn together, where they may stand as one, as now they are backed by Consciousness. The route of Beasts into our forms was from the tear between the unity of the spirit and body form, where we were fair game to all and sundry. But we stress the main factor in keeping the slave species down – in the spirit and body form – was the ring at the right side of the neck that kept the lost frequency code strapped to our side, making sure we remained in a permanent lost state.

6:30 PM on 22/04/2023


It was all about finding this God within – this Consciousness – and from there, understanding what impact this illusionary realm had on it. When things began to go tits-up, Consciousness was on the front line. The parasitic frequency of Deception threw a wobbly in the beautiful illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis, and this wobbly altered the children of the Infinite.


Around this child; this Consciousness, Life within the illusion was created, and you and me, our spirit and body form, and all the other countless Life-forms in the seen and unseen.

Those that liked it here – in this place of sorrow and heartache – do their best to keep the illusion alive so they may maintain their god status, so they literally pinned this lost/Fibonacci code on the wave/frequency Life-forms so that like Consciousness, we may forget who we are, and thus may be forever lost in this illusion that keeps on returning unto itself in an endless loop, all the while sinking to our ultimate demise to The Nothingness of the Forgotten.


From what I am now shown in my sleep state, the spirit and body form are besties that know themselves – where a serious upgrade is felt on these united forms. This I have been shown during my sleep state, but this Steven sitting on the couch typing these words is still the same, where my limited reality in the seen and unseen has not expanded from the freedom within of Consciousness. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Fair enough, it has not been about us and our spirit – it has always been about the children of the Infinite; this Consciousness within. It has always been about this speck of Light – this child of the Infinite that became lost and felt abandoned/betrayed in this illusion that should have only been a watering hole, where you come and momentarily taste the water and from depart the illusion. The want of the parasite kept us longer than we should stayed, meaning we focused more on the illusion that what we are and from where we came.


If there is more to write and understand then so be it. The proof of the pudding is in the eating – how will what has been written and understood touch us, where we feel the transformation of Consciousness that is within?

I have never been touched by the Love of a God. The closest Love/friendship I have experienced is what the animals passed onto me, where there was no inhibitions from my side to open my heart and release what was within onto them, where this Love is safe from heartache – except of course when they die.

In this pool of Love between myself and the animals we grew to understand the cruelty of Life, as well as a way out of this mess. That is why the journal is called What the Animals Taught Me, because it was them, as well as my Love for them, that allowed us to go to the root of the problem, namely Consciousness in its lost state, to set us all free.

Let’s see if there is anything else to understand, and let’s see if the Love of God/Consciousness within touches us the spirit and body form, where our life unfolds as it should, free of Disharmony for ourselves and all that wish this to be.



Now and then, I feel the presence of the parasitic frequency of Deception at the left and right corner of my mouth, so I need to understand what else, if anything, is keeping this presence/frequency there.


The illusion falls apart when this parasite is free/released from the illusion. It is the cornerstone of insanity and the me mentality, as in “look at me; it is all about me!”


The spirit and body form take a back seat so that Consciousness within may shine its Light on what is keeping the parasite in our midst. There are so many questions – are we ready to welcome Consciousness as the driver of us the body and spirit forms; do we want to transform; do we like this shit Life that is all we know, where we hold onto the devil rather than embracing the unknown?

What are we afraid of? Is it of seeing what we have become? Maybe it is a good time to eat some humble pie to understand we are not what we believe ourselves to be. I truly believe that most have done their best in their lost state. Now my advice is to lose everything – throw away all preconceived ideas of who and what you are. Break the mould that you have come to define as you. There is a frequency pattern that has formed over thousands of years that has come to define the unique you. Allow this frequency pattern to flow with the wind so that Consciousness may breathe within your space the real you.

It’s called taking a leap of faith, where you let go and don’t know what will come your way. If I expect me to remain me after all that has been said and done in this journal, then take note that this journal has been one dismal failure.


What is left is for you the spirit and body form to let go of what has come to define you. Break the mould, and you release the parasite within, and from there, go with the flow of Consciousness within.

This I will do now.


More than anything, wish to become bigger than what you are. Go beyond your limitations by walking through your preconceived thought patterns and what you see as you in the mirror. Walk through the frequencies of the illusion all around you, and from this vantage point see what you were. Know what you were to understand this is not the real you. This understanding will allow the spirit and body form to become obsolete, allowing Consciousness to shine forth.


What held the parasite in our midst was us holding onto all we know, which was the limited state of the spirit and body form.

Break the mould – let go. Allow Consciousness to shine.


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What sticks us to the web of the illusion is others – it is so much easier to focus on others rather than ourselves. The danger to this easy way out is the trap we fall into, where now we become mesmerized by the insanity around us, where we try and make sense of the madness in our midst. What we don’t understand is there is no answer – no logical reason – why others do what they do.

So the indifference to others, where we look at them, to reassure ourselves there is no ways we are like them, pulls us into the illusion and sticks us there as we try to get our heads around why others say and do what is by all accounts sheer madness – and we imply total, illogical, irrational behaviour that will account for their certain demise.


In surrendering the spirit and body to Consciousness, this fixation to those around you that are not you – this fixation is no more, and one is pulled to you and just you. Now the ball is in your court, and you take away the court, as in you the spirit and body form, so all that is left is the ball/Consciousness.

Now you allow the real you to shine so that the spirit and body form may be an expression of the Consciousness that you are.


Around you is waves and frequencies – the construct of the illusion. Don’t try and change this, as it is not yours to change, where others have worked so hard to make this insane, cruel place their home.

Rather go back to the original blueprint of the illusionary Garden as it was intended to be through the imagination of Queen Semiramis. Look to this Beautiful picture of what was, as it is worthy of feasting your eyes upon, and from there look to Home within the Infinite, as this is where you belong.

Remove the parasite from Consciousness and the spirit and body forms through understanding it was not meant to be in our space and the Garden of Semiramis, and then look to the wonder of this most beautiful illusion. Play and have fun, all the while knowing this play will end soon, as this pull is within us to return to where we belong. There is an anxious excitement within Consciousness to be Home, and when this real us that is Consciousness is Home, we the illusionary spirit and body form; we the frequency construct are no more, because in truth an illusion is not real – it does not exist.


So to you Consciousness: Play in the illusion and have fun, and by fun we imply merely be/shine what you are. You are now in a simulation game, so take aspects from the game that will best describe and express your wondrous state. Look to the Beauty that is beyond this tainted Garden, and bring this beauty forth, as this Beauty was the expression of the Love of a Queen. The time of the spirit and body form will be a blink of an eye before their frequency is no more. Until that moment arises, you Consciousness show the spirit and body form a good time. Show them the Garden that it was intended to be, and fill them with a peace and contentment they never knew existed. And when necessary, be firm with them, as there may be times this illusionary spirit and body form feel they know the path, but I believe this will happen seldom, if ever, as when they get a taste of peace they will hold onto this state and make it their own until they are no more.  



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As I slept last night felt the parasite down the corners of my mouth, and felt this want within me. Whenever I felt this want, I was shown my groin area, meaning the sex act was one of the many ways this want state within us was expressed.

Then I saw this object right against my face – it was indistinct, but soon focused into clarity. The white light of this being against the darkness all around it was what I first noticed. The creature that showed itself to me was something we have not seen before. The closest I can get to describing it, is look to a bird that breaks its shell and comes into the world – that primitive scarecrow look, but just all in white. It had no personality or character, it merely was. And if anything, this creature was innocence personified. It meant no harm – it merely was what it was, but this we have always known about the parasitic frequency of Deception; this “worm” that arose from the curiosity of the spirits within the Infinite as to what else is there in the illusionary Garden that is not already in the Infinite. (By “spirits,” let us be specific and look to the core of the spirits at Consciousness within, so Consciousness was curious.)


What happens to this parasite that unwillingly brought down an illusion, as well as a God and a Creator? In asking that question, we imply where does this parasite belong? I always shower it with Love, but where does it belong, because I believe this being is an expression of the curious state of Consciousness that has no Consciousness within. No doubt it is as lost and lonely as we are.


What I do is embrace this parasite and make it my own, in other words, I hold it tight to me and make it my own.

When we moved into this house the previous owners did not take their cat with them. In no time Gypsy became a part of our lives. She is still a bit apprehensive, as now others live in her house, and our one cat attacks her now and then, but she knows she is loved by me and my family. At night time she cuddles up in the fold of my arm to sleep there, and this no doubt is the highlight of her day. She is my friend and I will always Love her.


And so too it is with this innocent parasite within. I will Love it, as I don’t know what else to do with it. In this Love may this being find solitude and its place within the illusion. It is my friend.


One of the most symbolic images you will ever see is a cracked egg shell with a Reptilian form within. What you are seeing is the Serpent soul lying in the shell, and the shell is symbolic of we the spirit that was manufactured to house this Serpent within. Our gift from Semiramis was our good hearts; our conscience, to care for this precious cargo – that was the original purpose in the creation of the spirit that had no specific identity, where it was merely a sphere.

But this cracked egg shell with a Life-form within has another meaning to it. The shell was the curious state of the spirits in the Infinite, and when this egg shell entered the illusion, unbeknown to all, from it hatched the innocent parasite.


Take this prehistoric looking bird in and make it your own. Let it rest and know itself – that it is Love. No more wanting state, as now in its Loved state this is not what it is.

Let’s all be adults and go forwards with no guilt around our necks. The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia from her realm created an impact zone, and from this zone the Serpent spirit was born, and this was Good. Queen Semiramis came to the fore from the Serpents and created the illusionary Garden, and this was also Good, as from the Infinite is only Love. What happened from there was what one can describe as bad luck – the want of the parasite within all, and the feeling of abandonment by Consciousness within the illusion.


If there is something else that needs to be understood, may we find it. For now, let us move forwards with Consciousness taking to the reins of the spirit and body form. There is no guilt, for what happened was nobody’s fault.


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There should be a film of nurturing essence surrounding the spirit to keep it in a constant state of harmony, which will filter down to the body form and sustain Life within the biological computer.


So what went wrong?


The simple answer is it was taken from us as the illusion became tainted.

Go back to the original blueprint of the illusionary Garden. it was a place of wonder; a place of nurturing, where the spaces around you were alive. Into this illusion we the spirit were born/manufactured, and what was around us became a part of us. And this is the essence I am talking about that should naturally be ours. Take it back by touching the original essence of the illusion and making it your own, by knowing it is there, as this was the natural state of the illusionary Garden that touched and defined you.


Just before I woke up this morning, through my Third Eye saw these Human-looking spirits looking at my wife. There were three of them bundled together as a family – the one was a man, the other a young black girl, and the third spirit I could not make out. They were looking down on my wife as she slept – they just popped in to see how she was.

In that moment I understood my wife, and I suppose our species.


What we the spirit are, are orphans. From our isolated state we develop a kinship with other spirits we like – what we would call a family. We see in them what appeals to us, and this draws us to them, creating a bond that spans lifetimes together.

The problem with this selection process is it can be a hit and miss, where we choose others because we see the good in them, but what we don’t bargain on is the capacity of these spirits to draw on the rot of the illusion and make it their own.


No doubt my wife was a spirit orphan, as we all are. No doubt she saw aspects of her current fathers spirit and liked what she saw, so she took on his blueprint/frequency and expressed his characteristics, which was an absolute fucking disaster for me and the dads wife when we became sideswiped by this rot that they are.

Now over the last few days my wife sees her dad for the hopeless case that he is, and she understands she chose the wrong spirit as kin. What it is, is a wasted life, being an expression of someone else that is not you. Is this what our genetic code is, where we the spirit orphan chose the frequencies of others as we feel they are compatible to ours? I would say so, meaning we are always someone else, which confuses us as we turn out not to be what we would like to be.


A lost orphan – that is us the spirit. Of course some hit a luck, and you find a crowd that choose to rise above what they are – to be better than what they are, and this lifts them above the mediocrities of Life. And blessed are they. For me, I figured it best to be alone than stand in the middle of a confused/unpleasant family. This was the best way out for my decision/choice on kinship, and it is awful, as we naturally want to share ourselves with others. When we cannot, we truly wander in our isolation, and that sense of emptiness is awful.


So I told my wife what I saw looking at her from the spirit realm, and I told her, as I now tell all in the spirit realm, is be an expression of the God-force/Consciousness within, as this is what you truly as, as this is from the Infinite and is thus real. Bring forth the nurturing essence of the Beauty of the illusion, and equally important, is allow Consciousness to express itself through us the spirit and body form. Now our orphan status is no more as we are an expression of the Infinite. We are now real, as what is expressed through us is real. But please remember, we are just playing in a game, so don’t allow this game to consume you. And always keep your side clean. Never take at the expense of others, and take to give, and give as this is an expression of who and what you are.

And never forget that this is just a game – a short one, that passes in the blink of an eye, so make it a good one for you and the other expressions of Consciousness.


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What saved these Beasts was they had numbers – you do what I do; you bless what I do, so it is okay what we do. I might be wrong, but Bill over there is a stand-up guy, so Bill can’t be wrong, thus neither can I.

And that is their justification for destroying and shaming the innocent. Because the group does it, and not the individual, those in the group back each other up by doing their dastardly acts together, and this quells the truth that what they are and do is the way of the raw savage. They know this truth, as they are not stupid, but this truth is hidden in the group. “If things go tits-up, those other fuckers in the group may be wrong, but it is never me!”


That was the only saving grace of the Beast – the ones in the seen and unseen – that their actions were the actions that were backed by the group, and thus not them the individual.

If I fucked up, well, we all fucked up, so I am not alone in my sins, and this takes the edge off what I done and allowed myself to become. They were participants – yes – but to a group activity, so if the group is wrong that’s okay, because I can pull out of the group any time I want. (This in their hearts they know not to be the truth, as there is no turning back from their cruelty, where it becomes a part of them that defines them.)


And of course there was one golden criteria that allowed the Beasts to spread their wings and fly; where they became masters and rulers over this illusion, and what that was, was the lack of a backbone in all and sundry around them. The odd groups here and there that formed their renegade bands to stand against tyranny – these insulate, riff-raff trash were easily and cruelly dealt with while the masses kept mum and looked on.


What cruelty done was create a barrier, where the action of facing this barrier in itself places you in this Game. The act of confronting Beasts makes you an active participant in their game.

Stand up or bow down – that was our choice, and it was the only choice we had as we were trapped in this awful place where survival was king.

What these stupid Beasts failed to grip and make their own was that all become destroyed. My spirit has been to a world where all was destroyed – the only thing remaining was a worm frequency that lived in the lands that was the world. This world was a parasite as those that dwelled there allowed this want within them to destroy others, and of course ultimately themselves.

Where my spirit stood that looked over the wasteland of this planet, was one of countless worlds out there within the illusion – all teeming with Life. What happened to this world will happen to the next and the next and the next, until there are no worlds left within the illusion. That place; that central hub that controls the illusion, that place will fall just as those around them fell.


The only saving grace of the Beast in the seen and the unseen is to restore their integrity, where it goes back to them, regardless of what the group says, does or feels.

“How do I feel about this; will my actions lead to upliftment and peace for all, or will what I do disharmoniously affect those around me, and of course, ultimately myself?”

The Beast needs to stand alone, as do the spineless that are mum/silent, and they need to take responsibility for their actions. Are you destroying, or are you uplifting?


In the past all we had against the Beast was to stand against them or bow down to them.

Now we can walk away from them, as Consciousness is present and awake within our presence.


I choose to walk away, as the days of facing the Beast are no more. I cannot lecture to them anymore, as what this does, is I hit the barrier that they are to my freedom.

I move forwards in the seen and unseen, away from the Beast.


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In this state you are in a natural silence, where there is nothing for the spirit  to do or say. Now you are beyond the illusion, and from here, your own will be drawn towards you, where like attracts like. We are not looking towards others to lean on them – it is all about being and sharing the love that you are. There is no such thing as a kinship here, it is merely you and those around you being what you are.


Stay where you are, and you know this is happening when there is a core silence within you at all times. Please don’t be drawn into a fight, as this draws you into the space of those that lack integrity.

Will you the spirit and body form face adversity? – I don’t know. What I do know is you have the strength and courage to make a wrong right. I think the answer is talk to those that will listen and will be thankful for what they never knew that now they do.

Instinctively, you will talk to those that will listen, and as for the rest, they are not in your space – they are in the tainted illusionary Garden; they are not in your world.


At all times know yourself – you are this stillness; this silence that is Consciousness.

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Just passed four in the morning. Saw nothing in my sleep state, meaning doors have been closed.

Abandoned my sleeping partner Gypsy to come and write and see what is going on.


Yesterday went into the space of this one girl who asks me to check her out now and then. This was a follow-up session on the previous day’s work, and what I felt on her was deceit from one in her social circle – remember this deceit begins from the spirit and this realm, and not so much from our dense realm. My advice to her spirit was to stand back now and then, outside of the social circle, where you allow others to show their true colours to you i.e. what they are when you are not looking.

When you are in the circle, they know you are looking, so have to keep their guard up, so step outside the circle, and they think you are not there, so they drop their guard/mask and be just what they are, revealing their true identity that they hide from you, which is normally only shown when their manipulative game is over and they have ensnarled you.


Lay in bed awake the last maybe hour or two wondering what else we are missing – so let’s find out now.

Consciousness goes beyond the circle of its space here in the illusion to see/understand what is happening to it. From the space of the Infinite within, Consciousness looks on at itself in the illusion to see itself detached from itself so that it may understand what is within and around its space that should not be there – in other words, what is limiting it and calling the shots.


The other night during my sleep state saw this mother with her young child. This lady was covered in a robe, as do those of Middle Eastern descent. The turmoil in the spirit of this mother was visible and palpable. She took of my energy, and sat down to feed my energy to her infant. I told her my energy was not hers to take – meaning where are your manners; have the courtesy to ask first, and then give thanks for what you have received – whereby she gave my energy that she was feeding to her child back to me.


When do we the spirit reach this point within our existence, when we understand that we are played in a cruel Game of survival, where there are no Walt Disney feel good happy endings? The answer is when we look down from the spirit realm on those we Love in the denser body realm, where there we see their suffering, and we see this suffering for what it is – which is suffering, and nothing else but suffering. You see what you see, and no indoctrination or bullshit story can take away what you see. Now you the spirit understand Life is cruel, and in that moment the curtain drops and you see the Beasts that have always been in your presence – you just never had the courage to face the truth that this place is a living Hell that is absent of Love. Those moments, those fleeting moments of joy that you felt in the seen and unseen realms were just that – moments. What was beyond these moments was reality that we never had the courage to face, because deep down we never had the answer to rise above the Beasts in our midst that we chose to ignore, as we could not fathom this nightmare of where we are.


You see, we do not belong here – in this awful place amongst the insane and the cruel. How we sugar-coat our dilemma is to avoid it, so we focus on moments that rise us up – in for just that small moment – to a place that is beyond this nightmare. But sooner or later those moments become fewer and fewer, and we palpably feel the cruelty and insanity that is Life. That is when we wander and feed, when the reality sets we are in a place where we don’t belong and no help is coming to bail us out.


So now we ask Consciousness to look – to see what it has refused to acknowledge that is within its presence and everywhere around it.

Look, so that you may understand, and once you understand, you may do what you want with what you see, as you are real, and what you see is an illusion that is so traumatic and unbearable that you refuse to see and acknowledge it. Step outside your circle so that you may acknowledge what has been your master in this most cruel game.


As I sit here on the couch writing these words, I go into the space of Consciousness to bear witness as to what is still holding it in slavery, keeping it from the freedom of its Home and itself.

I feel Consciousness depart its space of where it has always been, and there, from the outside, it waits to see what has always been there that it refused to see.

When I feel my left eye when in the silence, the left eye is symbolic of the illusion and all within it. Now I feel the left eye once again come alive, meaning we zoom out and see what was there that ruled over all, including Consciousness. I feel a circle go around the illusion, and then a part of this circle drops over the left side of my neck and remains there, meaning something encircled the illusion and kept it intact, and then this force went outside the illusion to anchor/suspect it into nothing.

We know the betrayal that Consciousness felt towards the Infinite  kept the illusion intact, as in “leave me alone,” where spite came into play, which it always does where there is never a full understanding of the situation. We see what hurts us, and have no interest in seeing more, as we believe there is nothing more to see, not understanding that what we see is not the full picture.

This we understand – this Black betrayal frequency that was felt within Consciousness, but what about the pain that was felt along the left side of the neck? What is that all about?


It is this, this frequency along the left side of the neck that Consciousness refuses to see and acknowledge, which we will do so now.

In going into the space of this frequency/state, and how this is done, is by stepping outside of our circle to see what we have chosen not to see over all this time, what is felt is a presence that enters the illusion and makes this place its own. This presence is the by-product of the betrayal frequency that Consciousness felt. It rotates in an anti-clockwise direction, where it makes the illusion its own. This frequency is now the illusion. And this is important to understand, where what was, is now no more. The illusion Queen Semiramis created becomes no more as this presence takes it over and makes it its own.

This presence becomes the Eye of the illusion, where it sees and knows all, as now this place is its own.


And there I feel it once again – this line that goes down the left side of the neck. What is it? Is it the enslavement of Consciousness within its own realm of the Infinite, where the bitterness/hatred of Consciousness towards the Infinite keeps Consciousness attached to the Infinite, yet never one with it?


When Consciousness felt it was betrayed by the Infinite by being stuck within the illusion, what this feeling of betrayal done, was it allowed Consciousness to push the Infinite away from it. “Go away and leave me alone!” This the Infinite would never do, but this was irrelevant, as this is what Consciousness done. This push away created a gap; a void, and this gap is the painful line I feel going down the left side of my neck.

What is in this gap; what is this presence that took over the illusion and made it its own? The answer is nothing is there – it is merely a presence; an emptiness; a gap between us and the illusion as it should be.


And that is why we feel empty and alone – because it was the choice of Consciousness to be left alone.

Cut off your nose to spite your face!


This shit stops now. This gap is no more. We that are Consciousness embrace what was – the Love of the illusion that Queen Semiramis created, and how this is done, is to first and foremost embrace the Infinite that we pushed away.


My childhood was a blur, meaning I don’t remember much because I was never present – as a child, and most probably my whole life I have been lost, but the one incident I remember well, was something that happened during my first year at school. The school was across the road, so I walked there every day. My mom had packed me some sweets in my lunch box as a treat, and as I walked out the gate to go to school, I made an about turn and went to the back door of the house from where I had just exited. The door was a stable door, meaning the bottom half was closed and the top half was open. I took the sweets my mom had packed in for me, and I threw them over the bottom half of the door into the house.


I remember this incident because of the anger it provoked within me. “Take your sweets and shove them up your arse.” What I never understood as a young child then, was that sweets were not what I needed – I needed the Love of a parent. Sure, my mom and dad tried their best, but they avoided seeing the cruelty of my adopted sister. I needed someone to hold me; to Love me, and all I got was two fucked up individuals who were doing their best to survive.


My tantrum and anger towards my parents was unjust and uncalled for, but all I asked for was the basics – to be Loved. This never happened, and has never happened, except for what the animals bestow upon me.


Consciousness removes the gap; the emptiness that is felt through the false association of betrayal it felt towards the Infinite. It comes back into the fold of the illusionary Garden as it was without the want and take frequency of the parasite, and there it rests, as now it is whole and one with the Infinite – this place that was always within us, yet was so far away as we pushed it away from us.


May this journal be complete.


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What I wrote was for all within the spirit realm. Those there who believe they are in Heaven and are only too willing to step back into the cruel mental asylum to make a few more wrongs right will not be touched by this journal, as they have everything under control – this eternal loop of having it tough with some respite; round and round the garden they go.

It is the brutes that play it dirty, as well as those who more than anything want a way out of this mess – it is to them that this journal is written, and of course to myself. You cannot believe the monsters and beasts that dwell in the shadows and rule over us.

Last night as I slept my spirit found itself in a filthy public toilet. There were two others standing next to me, and we were crouching forwards looking at these maggots crawling on the floor. We tried to figure out where they were coming from, so we looked up the wall, and there they were too – these filthy, disgusting maggots.


Something within me said something is wrong, so I pulled myself out of this place to find myself back in my body sleeping in bed. I turned around and there was this man resting on his elbow as he lay between me and my wife. Then I saw this lady hovering in front of me. She hid her mouth with a shoal, but I could see through the shoal and I saw her wry smile.

Now comes the shit part: The guy lying on the bed next to me shifts the skin on his face so that this skin may fit properly and cover up his true identity beneath the skin. This skin was just a mask to cover the beast under it what we was.


Do you understand that this journal was to target all in the spirit realm so they may find a way back Home. These beings that come to me during my sleep state that I have seen over the last nine years is testament that the frequency of this journal is known by all in the shadows.

You want to go Home, then be fair and give all the opportunity to go Home – don’t show them the finger, turn your back on them, and then walk in your state of Love to Love, because that is not Love. What is also not Love is hanging around, allowing beasts and monsters in the seen and unseen to abuse you and do with you as they please – that is not Love for self.


What has been written is for the collective, so that the big picture may be understood.

Now I write for the individual, with me standing first in line – because I really need help. I know my limits as to what I can and cannot deal with, as I know I have a breaking point that I would not like to reach.


So now I write for you, the spirit within the spirit realm. What you come to understand of this you pass onto your body form if it is still functioning in the dense body realm. I write for the individual spirit as we are all unique, as what disharmony you have will not necessarily be mine. So what we do is a process of elimination, where the spirit clears up shop through a process of elimination so that the waters/frequencies of the spirit may be pure to welcome the state of Consciousness.

I always maintained that Consciousness will heal the spirit and body form, but Consciousness just is. If there are any obstacles on the spirit that hinder its Light, we remove them now, and from there the spirit will remove those on the body form if there are any.


The spirit goes into the stillness of the silence and it sees the Light that is Consciousness, and therein the spirit sees itself.

When you see or feel what should not be there, it is removed by the presence of Love. If you are sensitive enough, you will feel on the body form what is happening to the spirit. So let me give you an example of me, bearing in mind my pains and disharmonies that I have accumulated will not be yours, as you are unique, and thus don’t carry what I do, and similarly, I don’t carry your disharmonies.


In the stillness of the silence, my spirit looks at Consciousness, and in this pure mirror of what should be, I see what I would not normally be able to see.

After a few seconds I feel a heaviness over and within the right lung area. This is removed by understanding what was there should not be. (Hold your thumb in the “thumbs up” position. When the healing is complete, your thumb will drop down, and from there move onto the next location.)

Now heaviness is felt below left chest area, and from there to pain felt in left knee, meaning the problem below the left chest would have caused referral pain to left knee. (Who heals is you the spirit by seeing/understanding what should not be, meaning understanding as well as the Love that you are heals.) This disharmony on the spirit at the area of the “descending colon” is huge, thus takes time to rectify, where the disharmony even refers to the right ankle.

After about four minutes my right hand with the thumb up falls to the side, meaning the healing is complete there, so I look for the next stop of disharmony and return my right hand to the thumbs up position. The ascending colon is also blocked/disharmonious, and this refers pain to my right knee. After a few seconds the colon area is healed, but the pain lingers on the right knee, which eventually passes.

(We back off and allow what has healed to find its natural course before we commence further.)


Now I feel the pain in my right calf muscle that has been nagging me for the last two weeks or so. This spasm was secondary to the disharmonies mentioned above. Heal the primary, and the secondary falls away.


That is the health of the spirit.

The wealth of the spirit refers to the spirit being where it belongs, meaning it is at peace with its surroundings and what it has. We are not looking to upgrade the penthouse suite in the fourth realm of the spirit world – what we imply is a contentment of where you find yourself, and how this is met, is when you the spirit find yourself in a place and say “this is home.”

Please do not underestimate the literal lost status of those in the spirit realm who see the Game for what it is. What we are working towards is a foundation of peace, where health, wealth and happiness are met, and from there we may see the illusionary Garden as it should be. There we play until we play no more, and then Consciousness returns Home.  Health, wealth and happiness are all intertwined – all three have to be met to attain peace.


So now we look to wealth, where were you are is an expression of you, and we are not talking about showing off – it is merely a place that you define as yours as it represents who you are. (Many of us in the spirit realm will not be phased by this wealth state, where they will take what they get, but for others like me, it is everything, as I can no longer live amongst beasts in the seen and unseen.)

The thumbs up sign goes up again, and remember we the spirit are looking at Consciousness as to the state/place that is an expression of who we are.

What I feel is the arrow on a wind vain move around within my chest area, until I feel no movement at all there, and my hand with the thumb up flops to its side. In that moment, the spirit is where it belongs in the spirit realm, meaning the spirit can say, in that moment, “this is where I belong.” Remember, without a foundation we are going nowhere. Consciousness is at peace, and now we the spirit and body form need to follow suit.

The imprint of where the spirit is in the spirit realm will touch the body form, where a shift will be made there, and more importantly, the opportunities will present themselves as a present to make the shift possible.

Wealth is not money – it is being thankful for what you have, as what you have, as in where you are, brings forth a peace within you.


In happiness you are being what you are and around those you Love, be they the mountains or those that are you. By being what you are, as in where you are, as well as in health, from these vantage points you express yourself. Some call this having a career, where you create from what you are, but I call it just being happy. You can sit with your health and wealth, and if this is enough for you, then so be it. If you want to explore and touch other places of wealth, or touch others to share with them, then so be it as well.

The thumb goes up and we the spirit look into the Consciousness that we are to find our happiness. Now I feel the arrow of the wind vain move around within my throat area. It turns round and round in circles, and then I feel this arrow turn within my face like the arm of a clock, and from there it settles in the middle of my forehead pointing upwards. My thumb up right hand flops down, meaning my happiness has been defined.


One needs a whole, grounded spirit to see the Beauty of what is before our eyes, namely the illusionary Garden of Semiramis as she intended it to be.

On the spirit level, to attain this state took a few minutes. On the body form time wise I cannot say, but know that with each passing moment you are heading to where you belong.


The last week or so has been bad for me. It has always been bad, but this last week a heaviness was within me that I never knew existed. I felt detached from joy and happiness. I would see the joy in others, and I knew that this was no longer within me. This concerned me, and I knew a way out had to be met fast, where I am what I am in my natural state of Love.

May what has been done above touch the body form as soon as possible. If you do not feel the changes within as I do, go into the stillness of the silence, and you bring forth health to the spirit. Stick out your right thumb, as in a thumbs up position. When your thumb flops down, know something has been healed, and then it will go up again, and so it goes until all is healed. Then the thumb will stay down and won’t go back up, meaning all the healing is complete. Move from there and do the same for the states of wealth and happiness.


When I have an animal in front of me, and I feel their disharmony, I stick up my right thumb, and when it flops down I know that Consciousness has completed the healing process.

I said that the spirit heals by looking into the Light that is Consciousness, where the spirit sees what should not be, which is then removed by the understanding that this disharmony does not belong, and this is the truth, but bear in mind that Consciousness is all that is and will be. So see the big picture and always reflect into what you the spirit and body form are. Remove the disharmony to stand in the presence of what you are, which is this beautiful Light of Love.


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When you expect nothing from Life, where you are not happy, but cannot envision an existence other than what you have, then you have what you expect, which is nothing, and you will go to the grave with what you have always had, which is nothing.

If you expect Life to not be as it should, namely a bit kinder than what it is, which the hard edge of survival removed, where we have all we need and are, you will still get nothing, as in Life there are no freebees – I might have a few million to spare, that I could easily give away, but who doesn’t need money? How many will grab to take, but will never take to uplift themselves and those around them, where morally and spiritually we may begin to flow from this new vantage point?


Tell an orphan to be happy and thankful for what they have in the orphanage and you really don’t have a clue what you are talking about, because the basics of family life are not being met. And that is how I feel about my existence, where I see the chaos all around me; the plastic superficial states; the unnecessary stress of having to do our best to go with the flow of society lest we fall by the wayside; the harshness and detachment of my fellow species towards all and sundry, and what I feel during each passing day is being in a place where I don’t belong.


So the obvious question to ask is where do we belong?

What blows me away is everything in our existence is unnatural, where we miss out on being our natural state. What is this state, and where do we belong? Maybe we should work back to front. Go into the stillness of the silence and merely be the Consciousness that you are. From there move towards where you were, removing obstacles in the way, and in doing so, the path may be cleared from both direction – from the spirit and body form to Consciousness, and from the natural state of Consciousness to the spirit and body form.


On the state of health, I pick up nothing on me. (What is normal, is a clockwise rotation within your forehead.)

On the wealth frequency, I feel the clockwise rotation, and then it branches off towards my left eye, meaning into the illusion. There within the illusion I feel everything drop away from me, where what is an expression of me falls away from me. What made this right a wrong, where what defines me in the illusion is taken from me?

A force pushed it away from me. Last night as I closed my eyes to sleep, I made a point of looking through my Third Eye to see what came to me, which I don’t normally do, as always what is to see is the unpleasant beings that define the shadow of the illusion. So last night when I looked, I saw this black mass pulse towards me. It pushed and then retreated, pushed and retreated, where this was done a few times before it departed.


If I cannot get to you or those you Love, then what I do is break off the supply line of what should naturally come your way, with the emphasis on the word “naturally,” as this is who and what you are, as in what sustains you in the illusion. This they have done to me in this lifetime, where I am not being melodramatic – looking for a bit of sympathy and attention – when I say I have a breaking point that I feel coming around the corner. A fish can only stay for so long out the water before it stops breathing, and I can only take so much of this place before I say “fuck it – enough is enough.” This wearing me down is orchestrated – it is intentional to keep what is naturally mine within the illusion away from me. Cut off the supply line and the enemy will fall –it is just a question of when.


So what have they done to me and countless others out there, where we are being starved of what we naturally should be?

Within my left eye, it feels like there is a cargo net suspended in mid-air, where what is you is taken from you and stored elsewhere. Consciousness shines itself on this dilemma, where it is the same old story of how can you fix a problem when you don’t know there is a problem. Now we do, and I feel now as Consciousness returns the content of the net to where it belonged i.e. the spirit and body form.


How cruel can you be? What is your purpose of destroying the innocent? It does not make sense – none of it. I am nobody’s enemy. All I ask is for me to be what I naturally should be and where I belong. What you do that interests you I have no interest in, except when you decide to touch and destroy the innocent, as their innocence is not yours to destroy. You have destroyed yours – your good heart – so leave theirs be.

Are you afraid there will be no one to play your cruel game with, where it is just you and your cruelty all on your lonesome? Now you have no option but to look at you. Now there is no time but to be what you naturally are which is Love – this natural state that you threw to the wind just because you can. Instead of finding a way out of this mess, you embraced the ways of cruelty and made them your own. Where did you think this will take you? Did you honestly believe you were bettering yourself by absorbing the fleeting pleasures of the illusion?


There is a stupidity in this illusion that one cannot comprehend. It is not insanity – it is a mental illness, where so many believe they can do what they want when they want at the expense of others, and this is perfectly normal to them. That is not insanity – that is stupidity, because what you do detaches you further from what you are, which is a being of compassion, where this compassion is first and foremost to yourself, because you cannot naturally Love another unless you Love yourself.

There is a stupidity that is a mental illness, and it touches most – even those that Love. How do these stupid spirits and beings cure themselves from their illness? The answer is look past the me mentality.


What I do right now defines me, as in I Love what I am expressing of myself right now. Choose any colour you want – it can be the act of rape; of playing loud music; of shaming another; of not wishing another well – what you are doing is expressing a part of you that you have made peace with and have come to Love. So you embrace it; you make it your own, and this becomes what you are, which is a stupid, or should we say, a self-centered being. I am okay, and boy, is this great!

Sure, but what about those that are being touched by your self-centeredness?


You can meet the most wonderful people and spirits, and so many of them have this illness, where they embrace the me, instead of working on how to naturally assist the we through the natural compassion that should be within all.


How do these that are truly the stupid cure themselves? That is easy – look past your nose at those around you, and ask if what you are doing is uplifting them or hindering/destroying them. It is not just about you, you stupid fuck, as around you are your spirit brothers and sisters, and within is the Consciousness that defines us as all one.


So those that deprive us of what we naturally are within the illusion – they do this because they Love it, where their act of supreme cruelty defines them, and they Love what they have become. All because they cannot see past their noses, where all they see is themselves and the thrill their cruelty gives to them.

Oh you are so fucking stupid, and sadly for you, now you know this.


To you the innocent, take back what was taken from you, and walk away from the stupid.


In the previous garden we stayed at there was a hedge about two metres high and about fifty metres long. I would start at one end, and trim the leaves that were extending past the border of the hedge to keep it neat. When I reached the end of the hedge, I would then walk back in the direction I came, once again trimming the leaves, as what I see now is from a different angle to the previous path I walked. Other leaves would now be sticking out that I never saw when walking from left to right, that are now seen when walking from right to left.

And so too is it with the spirit looking at Consciousness to see what should be. Consciousness had to look to the spirit to see what the spirit missed, and this understanding was passed onto the spirit to make the wrong right.

Do the same to assess your happiness state. When the spirit feels a circle rotating in a clockwise direction within its forehead, it knows there is harmony within its states, namely health, wealth and happiness. This circle then disappears into you the spirit and body form as these states of harmony become your own. Go spirit to Consciousness, and then Consciousness to spirit – cover both routes/angles.


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It is the fool that points fingers at others, and it is the wise man that moves through the masses, not being drawn to the follies of Mankind, which makes me the fool.

When you understand, you can move forwards on your own path, rather than been drawn to the ways of fools, which leads you to nothing but finger pointing.


There is something that we do not understand, and what that is, is the might of power as it courses through our veins.

Have a seat in the members only New York Yacht Club, and tell me that what you experience there is not appealing. There is a feeling there that one cannot describe, yet can be palpably felt – a feeling of old money; a feeling of having, where you will never have to want; a feeling of you will be looked after; a feeling of safety, of security; a feeling of status where you are above the struggle of survival.

That all of these feelings come with a Dark side to them, most notably “fuck off to all that don’t belong in our club” is irrelevant in taking exclusive clubs as an example to what a powerful drug power is.


So let us understand this powerful drug that draws so many into its web, where you feel you finally belong – this force that we call Power.

I go now into its depth/frequency, and I feel – what it does not show to its captive – is a rock-solid foundation within an illusion. I feel both my feet – the left symbolizing the dense body world, and the right symbolizing the spirit realm – both feet are firm and strongly planted within the illusion. This solidity within an illusion is the appeal of power; of being one of the chosen ones. And believe you me, it is a feeling that is remarkable – a feeling that will draw most into its fold, where from there, you become Evil to unleash evil.


From this solid foundation within the seen and unseen of the illusion, this state of power that is truly beautiful, as one belongs rather than wanders, it is understood that this state should belong to all within the illusion. What happened? How was it taken from us, to be dished out only to a select few, from where they built their vile kingdoms within the illusion?


As said, I feel this wonderful stability in my feet, meaning my body and spirit are grounded so that they may spread their wings and grow from there.

Then I feel my feet moving away from me, followed by my legs becoming cold, but this power is too strong, and our feet come back to our legs. Understand that with this power as it should be you cannot falter, you cannot be lost, you cannot but know yourself. This power is naturally ours, so how did they take it from us, where it was kept for the secret few – the illuminated ones who used it as a platform to sow Evil to wield their false god status.


You cannot pull it away from us as this is what we naturally are within the illusion, so how did they do it?

If feels like someone is unwrapping a bandage from my head, and then it is only again wrapped into place, where this wrapping stops at the crown/top of the head.

Now a platform within the head falls away, and I feel the solidity and strength that are our feet/foundation once again fall away from us, where they once again bounce back up to us, and then fall away from us, where now our solid feet are hanging below us, facing the opposite direction.


So what was placed within our heads to make our foundation in the seen and unseen of the illusion fall away from us, where no matter how hard we try, we went nowhere as there was no foundation to move from what was a permanent fixture within us.

I feel something within the head of the spirit – a frequency of sorts. My first impression was it was the Fibonacci code, as there is a spiral feel to this implanted frequency, but it is not that. This implanted frequency is a watered down Fibonacci, where it is intended to throw the spirit and body off guard, as in no foundation, rather than to make us double-lost – for the want of a better word.




This piece of shit; this implanted frequency is removed from our heads now so that the solid foundation of the spirit and body form – what is naturally ours within the illusion – may return to us.


Be warned: Use this natural status for Evil, and you become evil.


My advice is just be. Just be, and see where this natural state of having a foundation within you the spirit and body form – see where this takes you. At all times be humble and thankful. At all times be an ambassador for the Love of the Infinite within you that you are.


(Now I understand why I was always drawn to the feeling of the “old Boys club.” It was because I was drawn to what should naturally be within all of us – this foundation from where we may express who and what we are. This power in its natural and true sense is the building block of wealth of the spirit, where we may know ourselves and from there express ourselves.

It is now yours once again. Play with humility and dignity, and play where all benefit, even if it means you merely be what you are, with no play needed.)

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Went to bed last night telling my wife if I don’t see beings of Love in this night during my sleep state, then I most probably never will, and I was okay with that, as I done my best in trying to return an abnormal illusion into its natural normal state.

I was okay with failure, as I gave my everything and couldn’t give more.


Fell asleep, and the most intense implanted dream that I ever experienced in my life was placed within me. I won’t go into details, as it’s irrelevant, just suffice to say that in the dream I could not qualify as an Animal Chiropractor as I forgot to pay for the flight to the USA to complete the fifth and last module of the course. I remember holding my head with both hands, disbelieving the catastrophe that had unfolded by me not qualifying in this post-graduate program.

The implanted dream was super-intense – something I have never experienced before, and that says a lot, because starting from the early days of my school career, I would often have these awful dreams (implanted ones) of me failing my exams because I did not study hard enough for them.

Last nights’ one was the crème-de-la-crème, where as I woke up from this dream, I remember a distant thought that I had completed the course. Such was the implanted dream last night that it altered my reality for a moment when I woke up from the nights’ sleep.


Sometime during this implanted dream I looked through my Third Eye to see what was going on around me. What I saw were spiders the size of my hand moving frantically on my body. When I saw the one closest to me, it froze in its movements as it suddenly knew it was caught out, where I should not have been aware of its presence. These spiders were freaky-Friday in that where their eyes should be was the head of a Human being. Their faces were one of angst, and they were not friendly faces. But this did not deter me, as surely these spiders with their Human heads positioned on them had to be beings of Love. So I let them go about their business as I felt them moving over my body and spirit as they lay there in bed. What they done to be I didn’t know, but it had to be good, as they had to be beings of Love.


When I woke up this morning and got my head around what had just transpired over the course of the night, I understood that the implanted dream and the spiders who implanted it were there for a specific reason. It was not to feed from my energy, and if I had to guess, they were there to do some form of damage control.

I knew they had been up to no good when I woke up this morning and felt this pain in my left knee. As the pain pulsed in my knee I felt it echo in my head.

I gave what healing I could to myself and those around me, but still I never knew the intent of these spiders with their Human heads.


Wow. Wow. Wow.


So much for seeing beings of Love.


Love will prevail. We will get there, and if we don’t, that’s also okay. I done my best.

1st May, 2023  

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