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Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

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Now the Third Eye is no longer necessary. Now we look through the eyes of the Serpent soul within.


What the parasitic frequency of Deception done was create a coral reef of its presence within the illusion. Picture these mass of frequencies of this white putty like material interlaced with sparkles of pink, and this was the mountains and valleys and pastures of the want frequency within our midst – this was seen as normal within the illusion and thus it was never seen by us, just as the blank spaces of air around us is seen as normal within our limited vision and dumbed down state. There is Life all around us that we cannot see, and shift the frequency around you, and you will see different worlds. Shift your frequency to be compatible to these worlds, and you walk amongst those that dwell there.


We have been trying to live amongst this mass of this want frequency, and that for me, is why Life has been so bloody difficult.

When you see what is there that should not belong, it is gone in the moment, of course with one golden criteria – that this you wish to be, as in your existence you are Love and thus Love is you and nothing else within and around you. In the mess we found ourselves in, Love meant nothing as we had to first understand the mess within and around us, and only then may this Love that we are shine upon this mess and in the moment it is no more.

That is how you change; how your world changes; how the illusion changes – by seeing what does not belong in the perfectly crystal-clear illusionary Garden of Semiramis. By you being what you are, namely a being of Love, what does not belong is no more.

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The other day I saw this dog through distance healing. I asked the owner to send me a video of her dog walking, and just as I was finished typing the message and sent it to her, I felt something at my left chest area, as if something was stuck there. What I was feeling was what was on this dogs spirit.


On the video I saw an animal that had no energy. It was like a balloon that should be fully inflated, but what was now only half inflated. No doubt this was from a psychic attack on this animals spirit, as I felt the tunnel bored through the spirits leg and thigh up to the chest area. What was also felt was the absence of what should be within the spirits left “brain” area.

It came to be understood that this dogs spirit had not so much endured an attack, but rather an invasion from a parasitic entity, where this entity latched onto the spirit at the left chest area and made its base/home there. From there it moved around the spirit, feeding from it, especially within the left head region.


And such is the cruelty of Life.


By knowing what the problem was, it was removed in the moment, and the following day the energy returned to the dog where one could see a marked improvement.


I say all of this because earlier on when I checked on The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, what was felt was an attachment over the left chest area, which begs the question “to what part of Sophia is the illusion attached?” This is something I would never have considered, had that dog not been brought into my life so I may assist it.

We release this attachment site of the illusion from Sophia by knowing it is there and has no place within her existence. May she now be free from the illusion.

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What is normal is to have self-respect, and what self-respect is, is where you treat others the way you would be liked to be treated by them. It is never about a “give me what I will give to you,” but rather “I know what I am; this is me; this is what I naturally am; there is nothing really else but this what I am, and as you are in my presence, you must be the same as me, so I give to you – naturally – what I am, as this too is you.”


If we held onto our self-respect, where we Loved ourselves because we are Love, then I would not be writing these words and you would not be reading them, as we would be where we are within the Infinite. And here finger-pointing becomes pretty useless, because all that does is makes us resentful at those who chose to be cruel towards us.

What one doesn’t understand, is why didn’t the Infinite come and bail you and I out and take us away from this awful place? Why were we abandoned and left in the company of those that are cruel? Why did help never come my way or yours? Was it because of the flaw within us as we were tainted by the flaw within the illusion from this parasite that was created by the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits within the Infinite that became born in the illusion?


Why did the Infinite never come to the aid of the innocent? Is it not rightly so to have a sense of bitterness towards the Infinite and those therein? I would say this is a valid state to have.

My beef has never been with the Beasts; the savages in the seen; this filth that only know about hating and destroying. My beef has been with those in the unseen spirit realm, and I understand they could never help as they never knew of those from the shadows that played with them in this cruel game so that energy may be harvested. But what about the Infinite? Did we become so lost and blind that we could not see and know of what was staring us in the face – this Infinite that is real and true and kind?


What happened that the Infinite never helped us?

The only answer I can think of is that we lost our self-respect, meaning we forgot who and what we are, meaning we could not receive self-respect from others as we had none ourselves to give. It’s like me giving you a hug and telling you I Love you, and you telling me “thanks Steven, but I haven’t got a clue what you are talking about or doing to me.” We lost what we naturally are, and thus could not see what was naturally around us.


What I am trying to say is, was the writing of this journal necessary? Could we not have gone back to Loving ourselves and having a deep respect for ourselves, where this opened us up to the Infinite that is everywhere?

I would say that this would not have been enough, because the nature of our spirit is the spirit cannot be at peace when others are suffering. This understanding by those from the shadows allowed them to prey on this trait, knowing we would go round and round in these cycles between the seen and unseen until those we Loved were okay. So no – to be an island of the Infinite within a sea of chaos would never have worked. We had to give an equal opportunity to all to be at peace, or to continue in their hatred and disgusting ways, and from this equal platform the Infinite may present itself.

In order to know this Infinite, we had to know ourselves, and how this is achieved is by understanding how we became so lost and unhappy.


This I understand. What I also understand is I would like to live amongst my own – those who have respect for me as I too have self-respect.

Are we in a position to receive the Infinite – to be amongst its presence to the point where we know it? I don’t know. What I do know is only the Infinite and those therein have the power to shift those within the illusion where they belong, as those in the Infinite can see the big picture. Hence the role of this journal is to set those that can help us to be free from the illusion.

May those beings of Love start doing their job. I need their help. I am tired of living amongst Beasts in a place where I don’t belong.

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How do we the spirit rise above this mess? How is an equal opportunity given to all within the illusion so that all may return to the Infinite that is in our midst?


We the spirit were given the gift of a good heart, so that our conscience may always be our guide, so we may never falter or fall, as we will always know the truth and what we are. We turfed this gift as we got on with survival and getting what it takes to move forwards. The results of our actions speak for themselves, where the few became overwhelmed by what the masses had become, so we became lost in this maze of do what you want when you want because you can.


This gift of a good heart is once again ours for the taking – for all to take – and this places all with an equal footing. Now you have a choice – do what you have always done, or become what you are and embrace the Infinite where you belong.

If you do not choose, Life will choose for you, meaning go out with the water when the toilet is flushed. Either way; sooner or later, we need to take responsibility for our existence. The gift of a good heart is for all to take within the unseen realms. This gift is the truth – that we are all Love, and may this truth set us free.

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It is this gift of a good heart – what we naturally were – that awakens the Consciousness within that is located at our throat area.


What happened that this illusionary Hell was born amongst the fields of Infinite Love? The answer is that Consciousness; this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness; this Infinite within our midst, forgot who and what it is. That was the problem at hand, and that is why we have been stuck in this mess for so long.


With this gift of our good heart, Consciousness is awakened and remembers what it is. Now within you is the Infinite that once again remembers who and what it is.

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It is what we see as normal that is the greatest abnormal.

Our greatest flaw is our acceptance of who and what we are, but it doesn’t end there. When we slip down the ladder, going down a few notches whenever the circumstances arise, where we lose our dignity and self-respect, we accept this as okay. Why is this? Why is it okay to fall, where we lose what made us Human, namely kindness and consideration and empathy?

The more we are lied to by those that dictate to us, the more we embrace what we are told, never for one second questioning what is told to us.


Simply put: What is this ticking, self-destructing time bomb within us that we view as normal? Why can we never rise above the mediocre and better ourselves? Why are we morally destroying ourselves and society and our species and we are okay with this?

Why do we never try and better ourselves, and when we do try, why is this never achieved, where we can never get the better of Life and make it our own?


These questions we never ask, as what I am questioning is Life itself, as in your Life and mine.

Sure, the illusion is spinning out of control and we are sucked into its vortex, but why don’t we have the capacity to rescue ourselves and rise above the System?

The answer is there is something within us that is a chain locking us into the mundane. Why is it?


When I go into the stillness of the silence to find the answer, what I feel is Consciousness departing my space so that it may see the big picture – what I cannot see, as the fault is a part of me and thus I cannot differentiate from it. Only an outsider, as in Consciousness, can see what is there that should not be.


I feel disharmony within my right pelvic bone. The right side represents the spirit, and the pelvic region means it is systemic, meaning the disharmony that is there is spread throughout the whole spirit.

The disharmony within the right pelvis touches the base of the right skull, and from there goes into the “brain;” this central neural pathway of the spirit. From there, it departs the left side of the skull and goes down the spinal cord, only to return to the right pelvic area.

What is this disharmony that influences us in a negative way, not only keeping us away from Harmony, but most importantly, it keeps us locked into ourselves, pinning us down in this anti-clockwise loop making sure we go nowhere in terms of making us better than what we are.


This Disharmony is just that what was described above; it is the pull of the spin cycle of the illusion that pulls us along with it. This has been normal for us as we are one with the illusion, so it is okay to fall and become more savage with each passing day as this is what is happening to the illusion. And as we fall, the illusion spins even more from the effects of what we have become, which affects us, which affects the illusion, and so it goes.

That is why we never go up, as in bettering ourselves, where world peace and unity should be the norm, rather than we losing our morality and sense of ethics with each passing second.


You stop the effects of what the spiral fall of the illusion is doing to you by understanding the impact of this fall on you the spirit and body form, and no doubt, on the Serpent soul within.

Understand that Consciousness within is now steering and guiding you, and not the fall of the illusion.


Now you are outside the illusion in the sense that its fall has no impact on you, so as an outsider you awaken the Consciousness within the illusion to stop doing what it has always done, namely to fall and see this as okay. Your Consciousness within you becomes the Light for all the strands of Inherent Godness/Goodness within the illusion, and this stops the spiral fall of the illusion.


Now this Consciousness; this strand levitates to what it naturally is, in other words, it may naturally be, and from there Life unfolds as it should.


May this be the last piece of the puzzle.

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In the 1940’s and ‘50’s there was a man in Germany called Bruno Groning.  By all accounts, this man was a freak, meaning he was normal in an abnormal world.

He was a healer, where he would give mass healing to the thousands that came to stand in front of him.

When we went into the woods, the animals would come to him, and he would talk to them, and they to him.

When he healed, a “goitre” of sorts appeared at his throat area, where his throat would puff out, making him look like a turkey strutting its stuff.


What made this man so special and different to all of us, was that Consciousness within him had not forgotten who and what it was. This state of him knew it was the Infinite, and when needed, this Infinite came to the fore to do miracle healing. His throat swelled out because on us the spirit and body form this strand of Godness is located at our throat area, and when it shone, it activated the Endocrine glands at our throat to draw the bridge between the spirit and the Human world.

This man was normal, and he saw the chaos around him for what it was worth, and I feel this is why he left us at such an early age.


For those of you who feel this journal is smattered with bitterness, I challenge you to meet my family and extended family, my neighbours over the last twenty five years, the communities I have lived in, as well as to see the world through my eyes, as in what is actually out there.

This place is so unpleasant, as are the majority who dwell here, and yet I know there is so much Beauty out there. So when my kids leave for school in the morning and my wife goes to work, Steven writes down what he saw the previous night in his sleep state through his Third Eye. This has been my job: To transform the unseen/spirit realm by making them understand what happened before the beginning of time that we all ended up in this unfamiliar place.


My job involved being around those Beasts from the shadows that see the helter-skelter illusion as home, where just as they destroy others, the illusion is destroying them, and they are okay with this symbiotic relationship where there are only losers and never winners. I walked amongst the cruel, and got what they only know what to give, namely death and destruction. Over and over they tried to destroy me as this is what they are.

But as has been said so often, these Beasts from the unseen are nothing compared to my own species within the seen realm. You see, we should know better. We should have a conscious; we should have consideration. We should have tact, good manners, innocence, and a natural instinct to be and levitate towards peace.

We on planet Earth are worse than the Beasts that control us from the shadows. I have met both parties, and we are worse, because we don’t even try and be kind. We feel it is our right to be miserable and treat others with contempt.


I believe that the generation before mine had moments of normality, where values were plain and simple and the truth.

I also believe there is a thing called Communism in this world, which is a sugar-coated word for Satanism, and what this force wished to do, was destroy all that was good and pure within our existence.

I believe that this force has done a remarkably good job in the last seventy years or so, steering our train of thought to what is their right and wrong, instead of allowing us to see what is naturally Beautiful. We are told what is good and bad, what is right and wrong, thus not allowing us to critically think and know what is the truth.

All levels of decency and normality are no longer evident in our society, and this has been done on purpose so that we cannot see the Beauty that is staring us in the face and is all around us. We have been maneuvered to be superficial and loud and rude; to be brutes of no moral and cultural standing, where we see what we are as normal. Now we are the minions of a god of Chaos, where we are all gods – ones that destroy themselves and others and we are okay with this.


Where I am going with all of this, is my job has been in the unseen. I have never had a job worth mentioning in the seen realm, as what I do is in the unseen, and believe you me, I have touched all within the unseen, because what came to me during my sleep state has been the weird and cruel from distant worlds we could not even imagine.

What I would really like to do now, is have a job in the seen realm, but I really believe this world is too lost for Steven. The other day contacted this organization overseas who was founded by a mother whose daughter was placed in a wheelchair from the effects of the covid jab. I offered her my healing to see if I could help her daughter.

No response.

So I sent another mail, asking if she received my first mail.

No response.


Either she didn’t receive my mails, or I am faced with the reality of people love to complain, and then, equally so, love to do nothing about what they complained about.

Please do not underestimate the insanity that is out there.


My job in the spirit realm is over, and if not so, it will be over soon. Now I need a job within the seen realm so that I may look after myself and my family financially.

What is your job within the seen and unseen? I ask you this question so that you may stand back and reflect on your life. We need to start being happy and content and at peace, as this is normal, as are we, as within us is the Love of a God/Semiramis as well as the Infinite. The seen and unseen need to start being as one, where the one complements the other.


This journal is one of a kind. Of all the trillions of books written, there are none out there that speak of what this journal says. I say this because if there was one I would have found it, allowing me not to walk this most unpleasant path amongst the cruel in the seen and unseen. But when this journal ends, we are faced with reality, as in what is my job? What is me that defines me that I can express to others to uplift them and myself? The answer to that question could only be given when your spirit saw the big picture of who and what it is, where we are, and what happened that we became trapped in an illusionary bubble separate from the fields of Infinite Love.

Has my job been done to educate the spirit that wishes more than anything to be happy and joyous and at peace? I don’t know, but if I had to guess, I believe my job has been done, and I say this because this morning I woke up and asked myself “What is my job; what is the way forwards for me?” This tells me that I am ready to pursue a career; a job, meaning the old life of Steven is over, as is your old life over, as what I know you know.


Ask yourself “What is my job within the seen and unseen?” From there, the doors have to start opening towards our peace and happiness and joy. I have not written about pretty, inspirational words in this journal. I walked through hell in the seen and unseen. Now I would like to return to what is normal, namely peace and Love and respect for all and from all.

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So how has this journal helped those that became trapped and decimated within the illusion, and here I am talking most notably about The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and Queen Semiramis.

When I went into their space earlier on, what was felt was their head and necks rolling off from their body. What this symbolically represents is the removal of reason from their existence.


As we had to adapt to the illusion and this thing called survival, our greatest weapon was reason. Now we had to figure things out – we had to become clever and cunning, and if all else failed, we took because we could, and even here, this entailed an element of reason, as how can I take without being caught out or destroyed in the process.


When we the spirit were created, I do not believe that reason was necessary, and that is why I always said the spirit was a round sphere i.e. it never had a head. We were beings of Love, who with time and necessity were adapted and developed to meet the demands of the illusion, as well as those from the shadows who needed energy. The more we and the illusion moved away from what was real, the more energy was needed to keep this mental asylum ticking over. But one questions if energy was truly needed, or was it our take and want need within that demanded we always consume.


So those that can help us are now devoid of reason, as in they have no head, meaning their presence of Love, as in who and what they are is guiding them and nothing else. This is what it means to just be, where you are what you are, with nothing to ponder or reason about.


I say what I say from what I feel within me, as well as what I see from the unseen. But let’s not forget that the proof of the pudding is in the eating, as in how has this journal touched those within the seen realm i.e. you and me?

Many big questions have been asked and answered in this journal, and when the above question is answered by how the Infinite has touched us the spirit, Serpent soul and biological body form, then I will know there are no more questions to ask. When we are touched by the Infinite, then it is the beginning of the end of the illusion and our existence therein.


I have done all I can over many painful lifetimes so that that day may arrive.

May the Infinite touch us sooner than later.

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About two days back saw a dog whose spirit saw something on the spirit realm that scared it shitless, causing a knock-on effect on the body, causing misalignment to the skeleton.

Last night checked on a dog that was limping, and what I felt on this animals spirit was an invasion like no other I have felt before. From the base of the right foot, all the way up into its spirit, something sweeped through this dog like a hot knife through butter. My words to the owner was that this force was a motherfucker of note, as this was the truth and I was not trying to be crude.

During my sleep state last night saw what these animals spirits saw – they were funny looking elephants of sorts. Let’s just say they swept through my spirit and body form effortlessly, as if I never even existed.

What I saw last night touched all on our planet within the seen and unseen – they were everywhere.


What we don’t know we don’t understand, and what we don’t understand we ridicule, and once again, I stand first in line.

What I assumed was destructive was constructive. What I assumed was this force to be Bad, yet it was Good.


Is this the proof of the pudding I was waiting for? I would like to see what happens from here to answer that question definitively.

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I am going out on a limb in what I am about to say, as it is something I have not seen from the unseen, and yet it is presence I feel more and more within me. So let’s first talk about what we know.


We are made up of layers of frequencies, this body form and spirit, meaning we are not one solid structure.

Our lives have never really been ours to own, meaning we are at the mercy of where we find ourselves, as well as the facilities we are blessed/born with, as in intelligence, wealth etc.

Within us the biological body form is the R-complex, what we call the Reptilian brain.


Now my question to you is this: If the Reptilian brain is within us, then surely so must the body of this alien be within us as well?

For me, the answer is an emphatic yes, and I say this because my Life has never been my own.

So this is what I believe, that we are a vehicle for an alien reptilian form that is within us, pulling our strings and ruling our lives. I believe this to be true, where we reside in the space of this alien, rather than this alien living within us, meaning it is the primary, and we the spirit and body form are the secondary.


So let’s put my hypothesis to the test.

If this alien is within me, I release it with Love to Love, and how this is done, is the Consciousness within me shines on this being. The presence of this Love/Consciousness will expel this alien from my form as it has no place in my presence, as I would like to live my life according to peace and happiness rather than from the presence of another that controls my life.

This Consciousness does now, and I would like to see what the absence of the alien does to my existence. So be it.

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How was our spirit and Human biological computer before this alien entered our form?

(This entity was about the size of your outstretched hand, and entered through the area of your back below your shoulder blades – I say this because I felt it exit there. This creature was housed primarily around our brain area, and I am not sure if its brain was the R-complex, or Reptilian brain within our form.

Although this creature was small in stature, its presence was superior to and thus dominated the spirit and body form, and how this was done, was by it taking over our system and incorporating its own therein. Everything was done in stealth, with us the spirit and body form never the wiser.

When this take-over was done I cannot say, but what I strongly assume, is those that used us as a slave-species to feed from our energy were the ones responsible for this infiltration. Why I say this, is look at what we are: We are breeders. Our primary role is to give Life, as well as to release energy primarily through the orgasm. This is one of the few pleasures we have in life, but it was never meant for us, rather for those that turned us into a slave species.

This entity was the minder of us the breeder.


The next step up in our role will no longer be as breeders for Life, as this role will be taken over by machines. My strong feel is that these architects of us the slave species will plug us directly into their Smart grid, and syphon energy from us in this way 24/7. Take it one step further from that, and I would say they will plug directly into our Consciousness – this endless Life from the Infinite.


But all of this will never be enough, as these entities will become meaningless gods, meaning nothing about them will be real. By sucking the Life out of others, they do the same to themselves, because what Life is about, is not survival. Life is about companionship, where I see you, and you see me, and what we see is Beautiful. This joy and peace of being and seeing what you are is the definition of Life.

What these entities are doing is the opposite to Life, where they take and destroy rather than cherish the presence of those in their space. When “we” turned to “me” for these incomprehensibly cruel entities it was the beginning of the end for them, because that marked the beginning of isolation and loneliness. Now they became islands in this sea of Love and Life. When they have taken everything, and there is no more to take, then they will understand what I am talking about, but I will not allow them to carry on doing what they have done because more than anything I wish to be at peace and happy.

The days of them living at our expense are over, and may the days of the animals and the plants living at our expense come to an end sooner than later. Always, look to ourselves, and we will see we are the Beast that feeds from and destroys us. We are them, and they are us, and that is why in the grand scheme of things we need help, as in Divine intervention, so that this Game of survival may come to an end.)


Always we have to ask questions; never can we assume that things just roll back to where they were.

How were you and I the spirit and body form before this alien entered our forms and hijacked our space, where its presence took over ours, meaning our Life was no more ours to own?

When I go into the stillness of the silence to answer this question, what I feel is our gift of a good heart being misplaced at our heart energy field. It felt like a soccer ball was taken away from there, and all that was left was this gaping hole. So now we return what was there – what should be there, as this is naturally what we are.


Just remember one thing: I am not writing words for you to pass your time reading them. I write to transform. I write for those within the illusion, who like me, realize there is only so much more they can take from being where they don’t belong. I write for those who say “enough is enough.” To these what I write will touch them, because more than anything they wish to be free from Beasts within the seen and unseen and be amongst their own.


What needs to be done to return our gift of a good heart? Understand it is for all. It is for the sea and those that dwell therein, and not for islands within the sea, as we are all one. It shines for all.


Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it so complicated to return Disharmony to Harmony within our existence.

3:08 PM 30/12/2022   


Always I wondered – what was it that drew me to having to squash the nose of my dogs as an expression of my Love for them?

Where was our gift of a good heart intentionally misplaced by those that took us over? – Within the layers of frequencies on our spirit and body form that make up our nose. From this place our gift is released to where it belongs. (This could never be done unless we knew of the entity within us that took us over, as this entity misplaced our gift from God/Semiramis.)

4:08 PM 30/12/2022

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When you take in a drug, or when you have an orgasm, you get a high.

Moments of Life, be it seeing a beautiful sunset, biting into that cheeseburger with all the topping, or receiving your exam marks back and seeing you have passed – these are examples of lesser highs.

The highs/moments of Life keep us going, but the big question is, from where did this high feeling originate?

To answer to that question, last night in my sleep state I was shown a Dragon. It opened its mouth and released green stuff from its mouth. My feeling when I saw this, was that this Dragon released a food of sorts to those that were around it that needed this food/sustenance. What befell from this Dragons mouth gave those that received it a high, as in it was something these recipients dearly needed, so when they received it, it gave them a high.


As I lay in bed last night, I felt the activity of the Serpent soul within its canal within the space of the spirit. This Serpent was busy – if you know what I mean. (Having intercourse with another.)

Then I fell asleep and I saw these other entities in my space around my bed. I can’t remember specifics of how they looked, but that was irrelevant, as they were there to collect something. What they collected was what was born from the intercourse my Serpent soul had with another.

So when I said we are breeders, I missed the specifics of “we.” The “we” is the Serpent soul within.


This was a first that I saw a Dragon in my sleep state last night. To whom was it giving sustenance, to the point where this sustenance became a high, as in something the recipients looked to, to rise them above the state they found themselves in?


The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created the Dragon spirits, so let’s say that the Dragon I was shown was Sophia. It makes sense that she would give those in the illusion sustenance that they needed in this place that was now falling apart. It also makes sense that this feeding by her in these early stages of the fall of the illusion was a high that those in their lost state needed.

But so what? Why show me this Dragon feeding those that needed sustenance, and when they received it, what they got gave them a relief/high from the predicament they found themselves in? No doubt this feeling of relief was passed down to those within the illusion when they needed something and then received it.

How does showing me this Dragon that fed those that needed help, help us now?


The answer comes back to reproduction, as in giving Life.

The more we have, the safer we feel, as this creates a familiar and comfort zone around us. Sure, Life was created to feed energy to the illusion, but go back to the state you experience when you have just given birth to something new. As a father, holding my child when she was born into this world is a feeling that words cannot describe. It is a high beyond highs.


We want to feel familiar. We always want to be around our own, be it friends or family, as this gives us comfort.

Understand why we need the high – we need it because we found ourselves in an unfamiliar place and we didn’t know how to get out of it and return to the Infinite. Sophia feeding us in the illusion filled this gap within us by her feeding us, but we never remained fulfilled as we were still stuck in the illusion. So we began – and have never stopped – looking for the high to rise us above this unfamiliar place where we don’t belong.


As a young boy I could never grab hold of some aspect of Life and call it my own, where from there a foundation could be built that defined Steven. To say I was lost and lonely is a gross understatement. Do you know what gave me the high that temporarily, in that moment, lifted we away from this strange place?

Yip, you guessed right.


Could it be that we need to lose this only feeling of temporarily losing ourselves from this place, or is it that we have to embrace this high by knowing its origin?

To get out of this mess, the Serpent soul within needs to lose its reproductive state – it needs to stop being a mother or father, as its role was never to give Life, but rather be Life.

The Serpent soul also loses the state of the high of Life – this sustenance that it needs to fill the gap of being in a place where it does not belong.

This Serpent soul needs to go back to what it was by losing what it no longer needs, through it understanding the big picture of how we got into this mess.


You want to change and transform to go back Home, then go back to what you originally were, otherwise you are going nowhere.


At our core is the Serpent soul within. Only when this being transforms will we.

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Just for the record, this journal is eight years and eleven months in the writing tomorrow. Understand that this journal has consumed my waking and sleep state, meaning I could not rest until it was complete, meaning there was not much time for anything else in my life but this journal. The last few months the madness of the world and those that dwell therein upped my intensity, where I pushed with everything I had as I felt the tentacles of this mad world touch me more and more with each passing day. I knew I had to go hard to find the answers to complete this journal, as being where I don’t belong, in the seen and unseen, was becoming palpable, and I knew there was only so much I could handle. So I pushed so that the journal could be complete before I popped.


Another note for the record books is nothing written in this journal has touched the Life of Steven, meaning no aspect of my Life has been uplifted through what has been written.

Today I understood why this is so.


Everything that has been written has been for the unseen realms of the illusion, as in the spirit realm. Nothing is going to change in the seen realm of this world and the other worlds in the illusion unless the unseen/spirit realms are what they should be, meaning those that are in a position to help are doing so, meaning the Love of a God and a Creator are returning the illusion to what it should be, so that it may be a stepping stone for all there in the spirit realm to return to the Infinite – this place that is real where we Consciousness belong.


Today something happened that has not happened since the inception of this journal, and what that was, was this Steven focused on the seen realm, meaning those that have helped in the spirit/unseen realm are now in a position to touch those in the seen realm of the worlds of the illusion.

Nothing has changed in the Life of Steven because I am in the seen realm, and this journal was written for the unseen, meaning nothing was going to change in my life and yours in the seen realm until the unseen is sorted.

As of today, all of this has changed, by the focus moving from the unseen to the seen, where you and I the biological body form reside.


You go into the stillness of the silence, and in this moment of contemplation, you draw all the shite, as in accumulated toxins within you, to one central cluster point. From there Consciousness shines on this mess and it is gone. Consciousness in its awakened state now begins to naturally look after us, and from there Consciousness finds our place and what is best for us in the seen of the illusionary realm.


And of course all of this is speculation. Nothing is definite until our Life is touched for the better.

2nd January, 2023


Looking back on my childhood, one of my earliest memories was having these dreams in my sleep state of me failing my exams. The dreams were often, and they were palpable, such was the level of fear they induced from me.


Now we know these dreams were implanted by those from the shadows to absorb the energy the dream released to feed these Beasts. What happened to me happened to everyone. Maybe you don’t remember your implanted dream, but trust me, they were there, as I alone cannot feed these Beasts.

Last night another dream was implanted, where I was writing an exam in two days’ time and had not learnt for it. As soon as this implanted dream made itself known to me, I questioned this moment that was to happen. It did not make sense to me, and this questioning rather than acceptance blew this implanted dream out the water that those from the shadows placed within my presence.

What this means, is the stranglehold of these Beasts over my mind is no more, meaning this biological computer body form is not what it was. The ripple effect of the transformation in the spirit realm, as well as the presence from those that can help are now being felt in the seen.


This year will be a good year for the Good. The days of the wild West, where you do what you want when you want because you can, are over. What a shocker it will be for these Beasts in the seen when they see what they have allowed themselves to become, where they turfed their integrity and self-respect to become a Beast of the lands.


I leave them be and move on to where I belong.

3rd January, 2023

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1 hour ago, steven geldenhuys said:


Nothing is going to change in the seen realm of this world and the other worlds in the illusion unless the unseen/spirit realms are what they should be, meaning those that are in a position to help are doing so, meaning the Love of a God and a Creator are returning the illusion to what it should be, so that it may be a stepping stone for all there in the spirit realm to return to the Infinite – this place that is real where we Consciousness belong.


It is so incomprehensibly close to the eyes of mankind. When most sinking more and more into the abyss. Free will is something that is not easy to manage. Most of them will only understand this when it is too late.

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Take your Fiat Uno to the local racetrack, put your foot flat on the gas peddle, and try and push her to 150 miles per hour. You will see that it is not possible, as she is not manufactured for that speed.


My wife tells me that when menopause is hit, the body stops producing oestrogen, as the breeding lifespan of the body is now over so this hormone is no longer necessary. That the body has a serious dip in functionality in response to the absence of this hormone is irrelevant, as this is the way the body was manufactured. There is not even an option of “take it or leave it,” as this is the way things are.


So please understand that there are some things you and I cannot do. As healers, or whatever profession where you push yourself beyond what is acceptable, there is only so much we can do. It is good to know what you can do, but it is vital to know what you cannot do. Those that say “nothing is impossible” are talking through their arses, because within the illusion there are limits.


So understand what has just been said, as this is the truth, but also understand that within you is Consciousness that is from the Infinite – which is limitless.

We have to step aside and allow this Infinite to touch us and our lives, otherwise we will always be limited. Step aside to allow this Consciousness to make its mark on your existence and those you touch. Don’t you try and change because you cannot as we have been dumbed down and limited. You cannot change what you are, so what Consciousness does is gives you an upgrade to bring forth peace and what is normal within your existence. Remember what I am saying: There is only so much we can do, which is really almost nothing. So allow Consciousness to take to the reins and take over your existence. Shift from you to Consciousness, otherwise you stay where you are. How this is done by you getting out the way so that the real you may come to the fore, and how this is done is by someone making you aware of it – which has been done now.

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For me, if I have integrity, it means I treat you with respect. I can be having a bad day, or a bad month, or a bad life, but never will I treat you with disrespect, and this is so because nothing gives me the right to let out my frustrations on you. I might not have a smiling happy-face because Life is getting the better of me, and I apologize for this as I cannot be anything else than what I am at that moment, but I will never be rude to you, and this is so because my integrity is important to me, where I refuse to lower myself to become a savage Beast that treats you like dirt, where I feel because I am unhappy, I have the right to make you unhappy.


That, for me, is integrity, where I keep my values when Life is bombarding me 24/7 with asteroids, where I refuse to lower myself to become a Beast, where you now fight fire with fire. Life is shit, so I can be shit towards you. This I will never do.


What self-respect is, is where there is an unwritten rule, where as long as I hold onto my integrity, and I treat you with respect, then you do the same to me.

Self-respect is part of the law of attraction, where do unto others as you would have others do unto you; be the change you want to see in the world; kindness begets kindness, and all the other feel good sayings that are absolute bullshit because they are not realistic.

What self-respect should be, is where I treat you with respect, so naturally you treat me with respect, and there is no other compromise. I do not allow you to treat me like dirt as my natural integrity does not allow for this.


Goodness, in the grand scheme of things, means nothing, where if anything, it is our primary weakness. Do your best, and when your spirit departs this dense space to go to the spirit realm, you will be awed by the place you find yourself in – euphoric comes close to describing this place, but there are no words to experience the freedom from this dense place where you either make it or you don’t.

Now here is the big issue at hand: These good spirits – and there are many – are being manipulated by Beasts from the shadows that are playing them in a cruel game. So where is the self-respect of the good spirits? The answer is in the grand scheme of things, they have none, because unknown to them, they are puppets that are feeding Beasts and the system their energy. In this holy-than-holier beautiful place of the spirit realm these Beautiful spirits are putty in the hands of demented, evil beings that have no conscience or consideration for others.


So what we define as self-respect, where you treat me with dignity as I treat you with consideration, what we would define as self-respect is non-existent in the illusion.

This is what we get from being played in a cruel Game that we are not aware of. This is what our naivety brings us, where we believe that if we are Good, we automatically find ourselves in the space of good people and spirits. And this, for me, is the biggest soul-destroying phenomena within the illusion, where no matter how hard I try, where I always do my best and keep my side clean, I will never be rewarded by being amongst my own, so that they may uplift me and me them to rise above this mess.


How would you like it if a stranger walks into your home and calls your home theirs, where they are now a part of your existence, and now you have to accommodate them as well?

The other night when I went to sleep, having endured another day of debilitating exhaustion, what I was shown as I closed my eyes to sleep, was me lying on the bed. Then I saw this spirit sit up from being within my space, and then it departed my space through the wall next to the bed. This I have seen before, where in my sleep state I would see this spirit bathing in the space of my wife’s spirit.


Why is this allowed? The answer is because we do not have self-respect, meaning we do not have boundaries as to who can and cannot enter our space. But of course the big question is how did we lose our self-respect, and the answer may be through deception, where those from the shadows have always played with us without us being aware of this, but surely there has to be more to it than that! How is it possible that we always keep our side clean and be and do Good, yet we always get our teeth kicked in for our efforts? There is something wrong, and we need to understand now what it is. The question we have to answer is what broke down our natural defenses that allowed Beasts to enter our space in the seen and unseen?


I would say that the flaw of the spirit and the Serpent soul is they have unconditional Love, meaning others are equally important, if not more so than themselves. I care about you. How are you? These noble and natural traits are what defines Life as what it should be, but there is the rub – Life is not as it should be.

The answer to our predicament is that we have never thought about ourselves, because in the spirit realm we are one step closer to our God who is looking after us, so there is no need for me to look after me as God is doing that for me. Always, the belief of the Good is something bigger than us is looking after us, and from where this belief came was from the truth – that there was a time when a God of Love looked after us and wished for only the best for us. This Love of Queen Semiramis became a twisted love that hurt like hell, and somewhere along the way we have always held onto this belief that we are looked after.

We are not – we were at one stage – but we have not been cared for, for a long, long time.


To attain self-respect, we need to look after ourselves, and what this means, is we allow those into our space that are like us. With self-respect, we can bring into our existence those words that sound great but meant nothing, where now they are relevant as now we are looking after ourselves, meaning we only wish for the best for ourselves as we are the best we can be.

The spirit and kundalini/Serpent soul need to grow up, otherwise we will never make it.


Look after yourself so that you may look after others. Only Goodness comes into your space as you are good. If there is no godness/goodness in your space in the seen and unseen, then move to where there is, and allow this Goodness that you are to be incorporated into your existence. With your self-respect now up, the law of attraction will guide you to where you belong.

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As a young boy, there was no real attraction towards action-hero’s during my playtime, but if you asked me to whom I looked up to, it would not have been Batman or Superman, but rather the wise old man. I always figured that if you understand everything there would be no need for violence.


During the writing of this journal, I have always felt our spirit is attached to different personalities, meaning the spirit is linked to more than one entity.

Now I understand what is going on.


Within the illusion we have not evolved, but rather de-volved, meaning we have become more lost and confused rather than enlightened. From what the spirit was created to be, to what it is now, is like comparing night to day – there is no comparison. As hard as we tried, we never seemed to get it right, and this “I am doing my best but am getting nowhere in terms of peace and Love” has had a heavy burden on the spirit. Something has always been wrong, and we could never put our finger on it, where the normal has been replaced by abnormal; the sane removed and in its place the insane.

Disharmony in any shape or form is not meant to exist, as this is not who and what we are. We the spirit never knew of the parasitic frequency of Deception – this worm that took as this is all it knew. Those that embraced this take and want formed another frequency that was to become the cornerstone of our created hell, namely the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where now the gloves are off and there is no trying to be mister of missus nice spirit or person. Now we know this dump for what it is, so let’s rock and roll – let’s ride this Reptilian frequency wave and make this illusion our home. The more suffering, the more heartache – we love it; bring it on.


Over what we would call “time,” your spirit and mine has been fucked up on more than one occasion, and there has never been a reprive where we can catch our breath, take stock of who and where we are, and from there strategize a new plan to make sense of all of this. We have fallen further and further from what we initially were manufactured to be, and let’s just say our falls have not been graceful or pleasant. Survival has dented us badly, and we have done our best to roll with the blows as we hold onto our sanity and integrity.

Your spirit has lived many lifetimes, and over what we would call time your spirit has altered and regressed as the illusion got the better of it. We never started anew on a blank slate – we always carried our excess baggage with us, and what this was, was the confusion within us as to why is Life a struggle for so many when it should be a natural, free-flowing state of Love?


My hero the wise old man or woman has never really existed. Throughout our lifetimes we get worse, not wiser and more refined. I do my best to be a better person than what I was yesterday, but transformation does not start with Steven this body form, but rather my spirit.

So yes, I was right – the spirit is attached to different entities/personalities, and who and what they are, are the different states/personalities of the spirit as it de-volved as the illusion pulled the spirit down with it in a never ending cycle of chaos and mayhem. The spirit has moved on from one state to the next as it coursed through the maze of Life. What your spirit was when it was initially manufactured, and what it is now, is literally like night and day – complete opposites. Between now and then your spirit has grown different traits, with some being modified within us by the architects of the illusion, so to say your spirit is linked to other personalities is the truth, but these are not other entities within the illusion, but rather the different states/personalities of the spirit during its time in this hell-hole called Life within the illusion.


So by your spirits understanding that the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits within the Infinite as to what else is in this illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis created a parasitic worm within the illusion that infiltrated all and formed a want in them, by understanding this, there is no need for the spirit to carry on searching for understanding – now it can peel away the layers of what the illusion moulded the spirit to become so that it may return to its true state.

Where is our gift of a Good Heart that Queen Semiramis bestowed upon us with her pure Love? The answer is beneath the layers of personalities that the spirit has been born into – moulded into – as it was panel-beated by the chaos of the illusion.

I say all of this because now during my sleep state I sense my spirit and it is one I am not familiar with, meaning my spirit is going back along the line to what it should be, and along the way it is touching the different traits that it was. This has no influence on this Steven the biological body form, as the spirit in its lost and confused state never had a true impact on the body form in the more dense “physical” realm within the illusion. What will impact you and me is when our spirit is what it was manufactured to be, namely a vessel of Love to house the child of God within – namely the Serpent soul/kundalini force, which is a literal Snake in a less dense frequency form.


It comes back to the heart energy field and our gift therein. The layers need to be peeled away so this force can awaken and shine.

With self-respect restored to the spirit, may it happen in this day.

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Is this what I have been searching for, for all this time? Is this, the gift of the Good Heart, what brings heaven unto earth, where the Infinite touches the illusion?

The gift of the Good Heart awakens the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness at our throat area, and the upward flow of this force bursts forth from the head area, where now our energy is fusing with the Infinite.

The regulator of this connection to the Infinite is at the nail area of our right big toe, allowing the flow of the Infinite in accordance to what we can handle.


Is this gift from a God of Love the treasure I have been looking for over all these lifetimes, so that we may be free from this illusion? I would say “yes.”

8th January, 2023.


So what happened? Why were we in this mess for so long?

The answer is that it was never about us. We always focused on ourselves – always a self-interest. We never looked to what was beyond us, namely the children of a God and a Creator.


What else is there that is beyond me? Why are others not happy? What is the origin of their unhappiness that will with surety touch me one day?

In this game of survival, where the winner takes all, it was always about me. Me, me and me.


That was the issue at hand – we never asked what is beyond me that needs our help, as surely the origin of all this heartache comes from somewhere. Our vanity made us look to ourselves, when there were more pressing matters at hand, such as a God and a Creator and their children stuck within an illusion – a place where they don’t belong; a place that is not Home, as Home is the Infinite for all of us.


I am not trying to make anyone feel bad – am merely stating a fact so that we may learn from it.

Go beyond the “me” and “I.” Make sure your happiness shines for all, and not just for you at that moment in time. Remove all barriers to once again become a child of the Infinite.


Have fun.

9th January, 2023.


This morning asked those that are in a position to help us – those that have been helped through the understandings of this journal – I asked them to help me.

This was done because I need help. I am not made for this world – I do not belong here. If I am to stay I need help, otherwise will never make it.


Never do I doubt what I have seen and come to understand in the writings of this journal. It all makes sense to me and is the truth. Now it is us the slave species that have to be touched by the Love of a God and a Creator and the Infinite, which is the most natural process there is as this Love is all that is real – everything else is an illusion. To replace insanity with sanity must be as natural as breathing.


I just need their help now, otherwise will never make it.


What is this gift of a Good Heart? It is our conscience; our integrity. It is the understanding to always focus on what is real, namely this Consciousness within, as this reminds us of Home. By staying true to what is real the illusion cannot touch us.

Why did we forsake this gift? I would say for the allure of the illusion – for all that glitters. Our Beauty became a self-obsessed beauty, where it was about “look at me – how clever I am; what I have; what I have that you don’t.” We went without rather than going within. Why this was done, I can only assume because everyone went that way, and we didn’t want to miss out or be seen as an outsider. Those that turned their backs on this insanity were never left at peace – they were hunted down and destroyed so that they may not be a reminder to the insane what is sane.


My prediction for this year is the insane will understand their insanity is not normal. This comfort zone of “the illusion is like this, so it is okay if I am like this” – this parachute will fall away and they will face the reality of what they are.


If there is anything else that needs to be said or done to help those that were in a position to help us, then I open myself up to receive this understanding.

If nothing more needs to be said or done, I ask for Divine intervention to help us the slave species, and all those that wish to be free of this prison of smoke and mirrors – this illusion.

11th January, 2023

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When things began to go south within the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis, we the spirit were created to house the children/kin of Semiramis, namely the Serpent souls – what came to be called the kundalini/Serpent/Dragon force within. We the spirit were given the gift of a Good Heart, which was bestowed to us by the Love of a God, which was Queen Semiramis as she created the illusion.


So surely we the spirit are free of our task of looking after this precious cargo when this Serpent soul within is free from its cavern/space within us? And surely what freedom means to this Serpent is when it is where it belongs, namely this Serpent being elevated from the chaos of the illusion to the Infinite that is real? And surely the stepping stone to this freedom for this Serpent soul is the understanding of what happened that a vessel/spirit was created to carry this child away from harms reach.


So for us the spirit to be free, are we free from our task? Let’s put aside this Consciousness thing and go back to basics – we the spirit were created for a task, so is our task complete?

When I go into the space of this Serpent within me, I feel it there. (The other day saw this lady who was losing it, meaning her mind and capacity to function. Her Serpent soul was attacked and abducted, and when it was returned to her, with the understand passed on to this Serpent of who and what it is, this lady was okay, so the point to make is that if this Serpent force is absent from your space then there is cause for alarm. It has to be within you, otherwise your spirit is useless and withers away.)

When asked what this Serpent soul within needs to attain freedom, I feel it pulled downwards like water leaving a basin, and from there, in the space of the illusion, this Serpent hovers and looks, meaning it does not know where to go.


So what you do, is go into the space of the Serpent spirit, this goliath from which your Serpent soul was cloned, and one awakens this sleeping giant so that it may call forth its double to once again be one with it.

You the spirit goes into contemplation and awakens the Serpent spirit from which the Serpent soul that is within you was cloned from. By “awakening,” we mean tell it the story of what happened that we all got into this mess, and how this story is told, is by you the spirit showing this Serpent spirit what you are, as what you are is understanding and the truth. It is not your story; it is merely what happened.  


This is what I have missed – that everything has to be done in baby-steps. Until our task of releasing our precious cargo to where it belongs is done, we have to do everything ourselves – no help coming our way. When we are free of our task of looking after God’s child, then we can focus on ourselves. And this is fair, as we accepted this child within us and were honoured to be given this task. That is why the attack or abduction of this child within is the demise of us the spirit, as this child and its safety is what defines us.


This story has been told to the Serpent spirit that is one with the soul within me, so when I go into the space of this Serpent soul within me, what I feel and see is the cosmos – this black mass, slowly spinning anti-clockwise, and then clockwise. Then this mass awakens and comes alive, and I understand it was not so much the Serpent spirits that fell into slumber as they fell from the less dense illusion into a denser space, but rather what was suspended was the frequency of the illusion itself. As an example, if the space of the illusionary Garden was water, this water fell to a dense state and became ice, trapping all those within its space in this ice mass.


This frequency density is the one who needed the story to be told to it, and not the Serpent spirit. The “ice” needed to understand how it turned from “water” to “ice,” which it does now, and this releases those stuck therein, meaning they can be what they are as they are once again in the space of the less dense illusionary Garden.

When I go into the space of the Serpent soul within me now, I feel it depart its cavern, meaning it goes downwards from my pelvis, and now I feel this soul within the space of the Garden – this less dense place. This Serpent soul has been elevated to where the Serpent spirit waits for it. My goodness me – now they are once again one. Wow, that took a long time in the making to return this child of God to where it belongs. It is Home, and that is something spectacular!


(With the Serpent spirits free from the dense frequency that kept them in slumber, as well as this child of God that was within us now safe where it belongs, I imagine that now the puppets will begin to dance – now things will start happening.)



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With the task of the spirit complete, now it turns to itself, and what this primarily involves, is the spirit being where it belongs.

Remember what your spirit is – it is a vessel created by the Love of a God. So you the spirit are Love, which is another way of saying you are the Infinite.


When you the spirit know what you are, then you are where you belong.


May this Love what you are touch the biological computer body form. The wonderful news is now the spirit can care for itself, meaning no Divine intervention is necessary, and from there the spirit will touch us the body form.


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My spirit asked the permission of Queen Semiramis to find a solution to the chaos of the illusion – what happened that we found ourselves touched by the cruelty of Life where this occurrence was seen as the norm? Years ago my spirit travelled to a cosmic laboratory to see how Life was created, and those there said I had access to enter. I never knew it at the time, but they knew Semiramis gave my spirit free reign to wander the illusion looking for answers.

The bummer was that I was on my own, meaning either I would make it or I wouldn’t. When this journal started I remember my spirit walking in some realm. This entity on its horse climbed off the horse and proceeded to give my spirit a serious attack, as I was not allowed to be in this realm. This was the start of the abuse, which went into overdrive when I hit the Reptilian frequency of the illusion and those that dwell in its shadows. My immunity to their poison, as well as me seeing my attackers and possessors saved me, otherwise I would have been a goner.


Your Serpent children are free my lady, meaning surely now you are free. Now all you do is just shine – just be what you are, and the illusion will return to what you created it to be, which is a place of Beauty. But let’s not dwell too long in this playground – let’s rather look to going Home to the Infinite where we belong.


The same has been done to the children of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia - the dense frequency in which her Dragon spirit children were trapped is now what it should be, meaning they are free so that the Dragon souls may return to them from The Nothingness of the Forgotten to where they fell. May this Creator too now shine, knowing her children are safe and free. May she call the Dragons and Serpents forth to the Infinite where they belong.

So be it.


What an awful ride it has been! May it be over so that we in the illusion may start healing, where abnormal turns to normal, where there is a peace as we see Home in our sights.

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What would have nipped the bud of the Disharmonious illusion before it even have a chance to form was if we could differentiate between the truth and a lie.

The lie was born through destitute, where you will come to believe anything in order to find a way back to peace. Hope was born, where I listen to you, and pray this is the answer we need to resolve the conflicts within and without, but deep down we knew everything was a lie, and the foundation of that lie was from being in a place where we don't belong.


Many came to love this place, especially when things were going right, and if a wobbly was hit now and then, well it’s our right to throw a tantrum, because now things are not going our way, and this is not right.

The brat was born, where “make sure everyone I am happy, and if I am not, you will hear about it!” Hope is below the brat – it knows of no such thing, as there is an expectancy that Life will carry them along their entitled path of privilege.


And then there are those that truly worry about the state of madness around them, where they do all they can to keep the ship from avoiding unnecessarily turbulent waters. What these captains with their good hearts sooner or later understand is there is only so much they can do. As a healer and a father and a husband, and one who understands that the string is only so long as there is only so much we can do, I see my limitations in terms of where we are and where we should be. The space between these two points is huge, and for me, can only be filled through Divine intervention. I will walk and walk and walk, and that is okay, but there comes a time when I can no longer walk alone, and the reason for this is because we are not meant to walk alone. Understand that to be created through Love and then be dropped like a hot potato had an impact on us all. The Love of our God within the illusion became a twisted love, where strife and heartache and sorrow became weaved into our fabric as the norm. This is something I have never accepted as normal, where a brotherhood and sisterhood were cast aside so that it may be all about me, me and me.


Is there something else we need to understand before Divine intervention shines forth upon us? If so, I open myself up to it so that we may begin being in the presence of the one who created us with Love.


What do I expect from Divine intervention?

We are not so much lonely entities, rather we are alone. What should be a oneness with our existence is absent, and that I miss – being in the space of Love that is everywhere. I don’t have to go somewhere to find this state as it is everywhere within my existence. I miss being bathed in Love, where no matter what, I know everything will always be okay as I am what I am meant to be and am one with my creator.

Is that really too much to ask? Apparently “yes,” as one had to understand why the Love of a God became a twisted, cruel love, and from there, we had to understand what we are so that we may be in a position to receive this Love when it is made available.


The other day was asked to once again help this horse, and this time around knew that Divine intervention was needed, as there is only so much I can do. This horse was helped where I could not help, and this is wonderful, but I am sure for many out there this walking alone has its limit as we understand there is only so much we can do.

May Divine intervention touch us all and stay with us. If this is not possible, then allow us to understand what needs to be understood to bring forth this natural phenomena of a Gods/Mothers Love for all within the illusion.


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You want to do repairs on your hot air balloon, you don’t work on it whilst floating from above the ground – you deflate the balloon; drop her to the surface of the Earth, and from there you leisurely go about your business of repairs.


When we talk about Consciousness and the fields of Infinite Love, understand that this is everything, and there is nothing else. The illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis was a bubble within this Infinite – one small air bubble in a never-ending sea. Her beautiful Garden fell to depths of frequencies that I would call Hell, and those that liked it there made sure this Hell became the all for those in this bubble, meaning these twisted entities made sure we became trapped in this place, where we never leave as this is all we are allowed to know.


You cannot compare the illusion to the Infinite as there is no comparison, as even within this illusion the Infinite is present as it is everywhere and everything.

The question you have to ask is how did these wasted spaces; these architects of the dense frequency illusion that built its walls to keep us therein – how did they do it? How does a 2mm tall ant go against a 200ft giant and get the better of it?

Sure enough, we were manipulated and controlled and suppressed, but how did they keep the Infinite from touching us, which brings us back to the analogy of the hot air balloon – how did they suck the Infinite out of us and our space so that they could work on us with ease and comfort knowing there is no threat from the Infinite to destroy their plans for their dystopian utopia that is absent of Love?


What you do, is you go to this strand; this essence; this Consciousness within you around which all Life is created within the illusion. This Consciousness, which I say is located at the throat area of the spirit and us the biological computer – this Consciousness needs to remember what happened that it got separated from the mother ship which is the Infinite beyond the illusion.

Ask the question – the right question – and you will receive the answer. The question being: “What did they do to the real you; this Consciousness, that kept it separate from the Infinite that is in truth everywhere?”

When I go into the stillness to understand what happened, I feel the listlessness of Consciousness, as in it is there, but it is stagnant and lifeless. From there we trace back the steps to what happened to it.


As we know, the Consciousness within you was separated from the Infinite, and how this was done, was the same technique Queen Semiramis applied to create the bubble of the illusionary Garden within the Infinite, where from the everything she created an isolated pocket separate from the everything. The architects within the dense illusion did not have to re-invent the wheel, they just followed/copied what Semiramis done when she created her Beautiful Garden that was separate from the Infinite – an air bubble within an infinite ocean.


So the answer lies with Queen Semiramis. How did she create this small bubble in the ocean of the Infinite?

She removed the “I,” as in “I am the one and only true God……..there is no other like me” from Consciousness. “I know what I am, as I am what I am. I am everything as this is all there is”

Consciousness, as in its true Infinite state, knew what it was as there is no other. To create her illusionary Garden, Semiramis needed a blank slate to create from, meaning Consciousness needed to be removed from the equation, meaning Consciousness/the Infinite had to forget what it was. Semiramis could not have Life on the Life she wished to create, so the canvas had to be blank, namely devoid of Life, and from there she could play with her imagination.

So the Life that is Consciousness/the Infinite became a bubble, and from this bubble Life could be created through the power/frequency of imagination. A hypnotist can tell you to eat an onion and make you believe the onion is an apple, and you will know no better, such is the ease as which a frequency/belief can be placed within this empty bubble that was Consciousness.


The intent of Queen Semiramis was pure – there was no foul play intended. From the Infinite she created a blank state, as in she removed the “I” from the Infinite in order to produce a sphere/bubble in which she could create her illusionary Garden. There was nothing wrong in doing so. It was those that wanted to enslave those within this bubble that were the bastards to be marked for eternal damnation.

How they done it; how they kept the hot air balloon from naturally rising up to be one with the Infinite, was to remove the “I” from the Consciousness states within the illusion, and in doing so, Consciousness forgot who and what it was, meaning their plan to create this Hell was fool-proof, as how do you awaken something that was manipulated to be a shell of what it was? How do you awaken this God-within when it was manipulated to forget itself? It comes back to that ayahuasca ceremony I attended, where this force shook me over and over again, all the while telling me to remember what I am. This force was addressing the Consciousness within and not Steven the spirit or biological computer.


How clever are those that entrapped us!

And so are we. By knowing what happened – what should not have happened – we return the Consciousness within the illusion to what it should be. The “I” is returned to Consciousness, meaning what is within you that is real is restored to its full potential so that it may be one with the Home where it belongs.

So be it.



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Woke up this morning, sat on the side of the bed, and immediately the mind kicked in with its thoughts. Thinking this and that – total arbitrary nonsense. And this was the biological computer doing what it was manufactured to do – to analyze; to compute, to make sense of, and from there go forwards within the illusion and our existence where it is the same shit, just a different day.


There are two parts of you: What is real that has been suppressed; and the other part is what you were manufactured to be within this illusion. The latter part of you is the plastic dummy; the barbarian; the brute; the fucked up kid who doesn’t know who and what they are, and yet they feel that either they are the victim of life, or they are right and everyone else can just fuck off because everyone else is wrong.

The biggest motivator for those from the shadows to do what they have always done, namely to be cruel, is that everyone at the core of the illusion – the Reptilian frequency – does what they do. This belief is backed by the truth that there is no opposition to what they do – nobody will come and slap them on the wrist and say “naughty boy.” Sure, there is a “death,” this place called The Nothingness of the Forgotten, where they forget who and what they are, but “this is Life; what can we do about that; shit happens!”


The biggest de-motivator for those Beasts in the unseen and seen is an alternative to what they have always done, because now when they are cruel, they understand there is another way other than what they have always known and done, and this is why, deep down, these brutes in the seen and unseen attack and hit those who wish to show another way. These brutes understand that with another door open it means they will have to see themselves for what they are. In the past the norm was to be cruel and inflict helplessness and sorrow, and as said, this was okay as everyone from the shadows done this. There was nothing else to compare themselves and their actions to, and this was very convenient to the sadistic Beasts that roamed the seen and unseen because it allowed them not to have a conscience.


You need to understand that in the illusion the bully with his or her inflated ego were the gods that those in all realms followed. If you were bombastic, rude, arrogant and hit first and asked questions later, you paved a road for yourself in the illusion. The literal strong always overpowered the literal weak, and that is why the male is seen as a force above the female in terms of status.

The name of the game in the illusion was Survival – winner takes all, and let’s just say that for many there has never been a rule book, meaning anything goes to get what you want. And that is why, for me, this illusion is such a shit place to be in, as it makes no place for the innocent and pure of heart. It is a harsh place this illusion – a place that leaves its mark on the innocent, where the Beautiful, innocent mirror is cracked to become flawed just like the place we find ourselves in.


I have no right to change you or anyone else. I have no right to interfere in your existence.

What I have done in writing this journal is give you an alternative to what you have always known. Now there is another way that you never knew existed.

Always have I known there will come a time in this journal when understanding is not enough, where now you have to get up and choose a path – carry on doing what you always have, or do something different. There will come a time when you have to act if you want to experience an alternative to what you have always known.


There are two parts within you: The manufactured spirit and biological computer body form, and the second part being this Consciousness; this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness/this Infinite as it arose from the Infinite.

Now when I heal people or animals I understand there is only so much I can do – this is a realistic phenomena, because a programmed computer body form and a manufactured spirit can only go so far as the potential they were created to be, which with all due respect is not very far.

More and more I am seeing and understanding that there is not much I can do, and this is so true in terms of my happiness as an individual and a spirit. Of all that I have come to see and understand in the writing of this journal over the last almost nine years, nothing has changed in my life – I am still the fucked up, unhappy person when I began this journal, and the reason for this is my spirit and body is merely following the programme of who and what they are, which is plug into the System and make the best of what comes your way.

Understand the reality of as long as you are plugged into the System you will never be happy, because you are in a simulation where you don’t belong, as well as being at the mercy of insane, cruel Beasts that have the upper hand over you as they have absorbed the power of the Reptilian frequency of the illusion.


Know what you are. A part of you is real, and another part of you is an illusion. Consciousness within you is real, and everything else about you is an illusion trapped in an awful game where everyone ultimately loses.

Listen to your stupid, silly thoughts that are filled with so much pessimism and destruction, and you are in the  Game and being played by it.

Go past thoughts, where you dismiss them as nonsense, and you live in Consciousness. I have not experienced this alternative state, so cannot tell you much about it. Much can be said about my life and my frustrations of me knowing who and what I am, yet I cannot be what I am. I need help – always have – and this help cannot touch me as long as I decide to follow the limitations of the programmed me that is plugged into the System.


There really is no other way. This journal is my gift to the unseen – to the world of spirit where from all this shit started. This strand of God; the Infinite is activated within you to be what it should be, but this means nothing unless you decide to be this power that is real.

What this journal gives to you the spirit and body form is something you have never had before, which is free will. Now you have the choice to choose, whereas in the past you had no alternative but what was presented to you, which was a cruel lie that this illusion is all there is and you are nothing, so know your place below your almighty god.


In uncovering how the illusion was created and how Consciousness was placed on the back-burners, it is fair to say that there is not much else to talk about.

So do what you have always done and you will get what you have always received, which is a spin-cycle of going nowhere, or you the spirit and body form take a back seat and allow the real you to come to the fore. Remember: Do what you have always done and you will get what you have always gotten.


You cannot be what you are unless you understand what you are – what happened that we were dumbed down into a Hell instead of playing in the fields of Infinite Love? This journal has passed on that understanding, which means nothing unless you decide to do something about it. Go to what is normal and pure and Good, or face the destruction of your own demise. With understanding comes responsibility, and the illusion and those that kept it in place knew that this would be the beginning of their end, when an alternative was given to what these bastards constructed for us. In only knowing one way – their way – now we know of another, and this forces them to look in the mirror to see what they allowed themselves to become. I have no intention of hanging around to see the wrath these Beasts in the seen and unseen will impose on themselves to try and make their wrongs right. I will not be there when a justice is met for those that so mercilessly destroyed all that was good and pure, and why this is so, is because I am tired of being in the presence of Beasts and in this place where I don’t belong.


I know what I am – I just don’t know how to get there. How this is solved is by following this God-force within – this Consciousness.

16/01/2023 (May this please be the end of this journal where nothing else needs to be said.)



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