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Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

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Lay down to fall asleep at about nine thirty last night. Someone in the area played a song they liked, and they played it for all to hear – on a Sunday evening. Got in my car to go and find the culprit to ask them to consider community. They only played the one song, as after driving around heard nothing.

Climbed back into bed and fell asleep. Was awoken, I don’t know when, by the movent of my wife in bed. She moved closer to me to make space for our thirteen year old daughter. Something must have disturbed her so she climbed in with us – this is unusual so whatever it was, was a concern for me.

Went to go and sleep in her bed to make space for my wife to sleep. Fell asleep and saw what looked like a puppet from a carnival. Never saw the face, just the one foot at it contorted itself into a backward somersault.


From there fell asleep once again to be awoken by this man standing next to my bed. (When I sleep and am awoken to those from the shadows, I see them as clearly as I would see someone in my waking state with my eyes wide open.)

Now get this – the first thing I saw from this spirit was his hand. I looked at his hand, as this is what he wanted to show me. What he was showing me was the finger, as in “fuck you Steven!” Now that I got his message I could look at him. He had these white cloth strips wrapped around his body and face. One could see through the cloth over his face to see what he looked like. He must have been in his mid-seventies, and my guess he was a High Priest from one of the South American countries. (I assumed he was local, unless the finger was a universally known figure of speech within the illusion.)

What I found amazing about this Man standing next to my bed was I saw his body emit a white light from within – he shone like a turned on light bulb as he stood next to me.


This fucker came with a mission that was short and sweet – show Steven the finger, and from there he sat down on the side of the bed to pull something from between his legs. Out shot this Snake towards me. From there had no interest in their goings on so fell asleep.


Will the “fun and games” ever end in the seen and unseen realms!?

Do you understand now when I say this journal has reached all corners of the unseen within the illusion. For a shaman from the Dark side to travel across time and space to come and show Steven the finger, you know that what has been written has pissed off a lot of beings. The boat has been rocked, where what Beasts have always done and seen as the norm is now challenged, as now there is an alternative that makes them look bad because the other side of the story has been revealed, which is “did you ever consider kindness over cruelty, and if not, why not? Who gave you the right to be cruel? The insanity of another, even if it is from a God, does not give you the right to also be insane.”


From the start of this journal it has been written about going into the silence. I done the best to make sense of this state, but nothing ever really pulled, as in “now I understand this state!”

Yesterday the penny dropped. For the illusion to fall apart, we the holographic spirit and body form need to fall apart, and what this means, is we have to lose the “I,” as in “this is me.” When you are not you, as in you are not focused on you – intentionally or unintentionally – then you are in the silence.

When you are you, then you hold onto you, as well as the illusion. When you do not recognize yourself as a state, then the Infinite can access your spirit and body form and take them over.


What the stillness of the silence is, is when you drop the “I” from your existence. Now you don’t exist, and this true, because you don’t really exist – you are a holographic illusion. When there is no “I” you cannot think or give attention to yourself, and this detaches yourself from everything you perceive as real. Now your spirit and body frequency begin to fall apart, and in doing so, so does the illusion.


This I will do – I will lose the “I,” and how you know you are in this state, is when you are not thinking. Now you are in the stillness of the silence, and the Infinite within can start being, as now we have removed ourselves out the way.


This will be done.

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The journal was named “What the Animals Taught me – a journal of self-discovery” because I surrendered myself to these masters of Love to teach me, because deep down I understood I truly know nothing. The spirit of the animals became my teachers, and the reason I chose them as my role-models and mentors was because they have unconditional love, where they care more about us than themselves. The animals are on a higher plane than us, and from this elevated platform they would teach me.

Whatever I have come to understand has been through them.


What is normal for those within the seen and unseen realms of the illusion is for us to be. What this means is we are in a state that is above wants and desires. To live is to be above what you were, where you are filled with a state that rises you about mediocrities and limitations. As a young boy I never dreamt of being a doctor or a fireman or some or other career – what I dreamed of was to be, where I am Life itself and am living Life to its fullest. As lost and lonely I have been my whole life, there was always an understanding within me that it does not matter what you become, rather what matters is what you are, and what this is, is to be filled with the glory and energy of Life itself.

When I look at the animals and I see myself in them; when I am them, then I will know that my goal has been achieved as now I too am unconditional love.


A few weeks ago this lady contacted me for help with her one dog. The distance healing was done, and it came to be understood the spirit of the dog suffered a psychic attack that took out the left front leg and part of the spirits shoulder. On the physical plane they would have amputated her front left leg, but this would not have helped as the stump of the shoulder was also affected, so they would have had to put Bella down.

Heal the spirit and you heal the body.


Then there is this lady who spends her living day walking around attached to oxygen. Have been trying for months to get her right and nothing has worked.

How is it that Bella can be so easily transformed and Linda cannot? The obvious answer is the two are coming from two different states – the one has unconditional love, and the other is doing her best to survive in this sea of chaos.

So the big question is, is how do we in the seen and unseen realms of the illusion become unconditional love?


Yesterday the owner of Bella sent me a video of how well she was doing, where there was no sign of a limp on her whatsoever. As I chatted to this lady on social media Linda was also contacted to see how she was keeping. My question to her was what am I missing?

Then Bella’s owner told me that the animals are drawn to her for healing, and that I must not laugh, but she was taken to another planet about six years ago. She says this because on her wrist the next morning was “the red phenomena.”  What this is, is little red diamond shaped marks, raised like a heckie – according to her. Something was imprinted on her spirit and this tattoo of sorts manifested on her physical body form and stayed there for about two weeks.

When I went into her energy field to understand what was done to her, what was felt was an increased activity around her heart energy field and Third Eye.


In this ladies own words, she felt that she was given an upgrade by beings from another dimension or planet, and she was right to make this statement. Someone had returned her gift of a good heart and lit a flame under it – in other words, she was upgraded to once again have unconditional love. What those who upgraded her never knew of was the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness at the throat area that connects us to the Infinite as this strand is the Infinite.

I asked this lady if I could receive this frequency that was bestowed upon her and she said yes. This frequency is made available to all within the seen and unseen, and what this means is that by receiving this frequency the heart, strand and Third Eye are working as one unit.

What came in my sleep state last night were entities that were enthralled by what was happening within my chest, throat and head area.


Was this what was missing – the upgrade of the heart area? I believe this so, but talk is cheap. If Linda comes right then it is known that all three ingredients are within us to be, to become Life itself.  


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We were never meant to like or dislike each other. What is normal is for us to love each other, and by this “love” I mean a universal understanding that we are this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness within, and thus we are all one. This Love Consciousness should be as natural as breathing.


That is normal!


The act of sex was never meant to be about the high of the orgasm. When a drug addict shoots heroin up their veins or snorts cocaine up their nose, the high they get is there for one purpose, and one alone, and that is to feed the Beast from the shadows that is attached to them this nectar of energy. The same is with the act of sex, and I say this because I have seen these humungous Beasts as they wait for me to feed them my energy from the release of the orgasm.


“Well Steven, what is wrong with a little bit of fun?” A little or whole lot of fun and get you into a whole lot of trouble!

On one or two occasions I have told my wife that I married into rubbish, as in I married below myself. What I said was calling a spade a spade – it was the truth, and I did not mean to be nasty or cruel or make her feel bad about herself. I merely said what was.

Now let’s take that “rubbish” statement one further. I remember my spirit going back into time one night during my sleep state to the time when I first met my wife. (We have been together over at least three lifetimes – the one I am about to talk about; another when I went to the world where I first met our cat Cosmo; and this current lifetime.) During this encounter my wife was sitting at a table with other people. I told them to stop playing loud music so that they may consider others, and then, as I said that, my contempt for her switched to another state – that of lust.

So as much as I can call her rubbish, I need to look in the mirror when I say that to see who is the rubbish looking back as me. Go south below my waistline and what is hanging there turned to the rubbish of the dense frequency of the illusion. That rubbish drew me to rubbish, and that is why, too this day, I live around neighbours that are rubbish. Like attract like. (My wife is not perfect, and neither am I or you. This is not about a finger-pointing session – it is about understanding what we became and where we are.)


Shame Steven, if only you controlled your willy!” Yea, sure, right!

About five or six years ago I wrote about Kalachi:

As I am writing this section of the journal, I came across an article on the Kazakhstan village of Kalachi that has developed the infamous name of: “The village of the damned,” as villagers have been battling a mysterious sleeping sickness over the last four years. People have been known to fall into a deep sleep that can last for  up to six days. Some of the side effects of this deep sleep are an increased sex drive, an inability to control the bladder, as well as some people seeing ghastly visions.”


This state of the raw urge, where every fibre of your being demands the sex act I have experienced, so I know what the residents of Kalachi were talking about.

We went for a hike one Sunday at a place that was just over an hour’s drive from us. Man-oh-man, when I got back home the frequency of what I picked up by being in that area hit me and took me into overdrive. It is the worst sensation ever, where you are being manipulated and you cannot stop what is being done to you.

My take on Kalachi and the place where I went to is that the frequency barrier between our world and the ones that control us are at these places where we have no control over our sleep or sex, this frequency barrier is super thin and thus we feel the raw drives of the Beasts that dwell on the other side of the barrier.


And let’s not forget our manipulated state, where that urge kicks in every now and then that its time.

We have been played boys and girls. We have been played to follow the ways of the Beast and to feed them our energy. There is nothing wrong with sex between consenting adults – just remember for what purpose this act is done, which is the burst of energy to feed those from the shadows. (When I saw those that waited for my energy, I resolved to never have an orgasm again, but without an upgrade of our forms this is not possible – or at least it was not possible for me.)


As I passed on the frequency to Linda yesterday to upgrade her heart energy field she send me a message saying that she was being admitted to hospital just after midday. She told me her chest had felt lighter. Will continue to assess her, but from my side, there has been a change within me. I say this because of what came during my sleep state. My spirit was taken last night to a hotel dwelling of sorts. It was a peaceful place, and there were other people around. I was with a female, and one could not place an identity on her. In our limited language to try and explain her, she was more than a friend in that she was compatible to me. We were having sex, but the whole purpose of what I experienced was to understand the act of sex as it should be, which is a form of play. When you have a feel for someone, and this “feel” cannot be described or explained within the dense state of the illusion, what this feel/spark that is there between two leads to, is a deeper closeness between the two – what we would call sex. In this state of play there is no orgasm – there is merely a deeper state that arose from a special unity between two.


That is normal, not the primitive humping of the savage.


Last night before I went to go and shower I lay down on the floor next to my dog Princess and held her. I was overcome with disillusionment as to why my life is such a mess – why can I just not fit in where I belong.

Now I understand – it was because we all needed an upgrade. Life got the better of all of us, and we fell into a rut that we could not get out of.

I am eternally grateful for this upgrade, as there is nothing worse than being in a place where you don’t belong. We all needed a pick up to understand where we were and what happened to get us to that state. Once again, simply put: Life got the better of us. Now let’s move on to where we belong and what we are meant to be so the spirit and body form may be at peace.


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Yesterday checked on this sixteen years old Down syndrome girl to see if anything could be done to help her.

What was found interesting was the strand area around her throat was not coherent – it was a broken circle. Around this strand of Godness/Goodness, or what some would call Consciousness, our illusionary body and spirit were formed. If this strand is incoherent it means the spirit that should be formed around it is elsewhere. The mom confirmed that she felt her daughters spirit was split.


The only real safe refuse within the illusion is the parallel universe that was created by the cruel architects of the illusion. As has been said before, I have knowingly been there twice to this parallel universe, as in I remember going there. What this place is, is an illusion within an illusion. It is a place that is the same as the world on which it was replicated, where your family and everyone else you know is also there, except for one or two minor changes. The draw card to this utopia is there is no stress there, and by no stress I mean zero! Why this parallel universe was created was to prevent suicides by their masses, as well as total insanity by the many. It is a place where the spirit goes too when things become too hot, so that it may catch a breather before the spirit is once again thrown back into the lion’s den. Yet this place is not meant to be a permanent dwelling, as what is there is even further detached than the illusion is to what should be. This parallel universe with time gets to be seen for what it is – a plastic, sterile environment with no depth or grounding.


My suspicions were true that the spirit of this young girl had taken up almost full residence in this parallel universe. What I do is show other spirits my spirit so they may understand in the moment what I have come to understand. We gave her time to adjust, and when I checked on her spirit the strand at her throat was flowing in a strong circular motion.


To maintain balance within the illusion and return it to what Semiramis originally created it to be, the trinity within must be strong and united as one. The heart energy field must be strong. From this furnace this essence moves upwards to the strand/Consciousness at the throat area, which is the All, and from there this energy moves to the Third Eye area so all may be seen.

By seeing (the Eye), being (the strand) and expressing (the heart field) the spirit and body form become what we would call a well-rounded individual, where we see all, know all, and become all.


When you go into the stillness of the silence – what some would call contemplation – make sure this trinity is awake and active. How this is done is by knowing they should be there and alive. This understanding is enough to set them, and you free.

And while in this state, spare a moment for the illusion. Make sure the trinity of the illusion is strong. Restore the illusionary Garden of Semiramis to what it was, namely a place of Beauty.  


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In being in a place where we don’t belong, we have come to forget what is normal.

Last night in my sleep state my spirit was made to understand the meaning of relationships.


My spirit was waiting outside in a residential complex of sorts for someone to come and pick me up.

Then it found itself sleeping on the back seat of a car with my head resting on someone’s lap.

The next scene was being in a canteen of sorts with many other people around. Someone mentioned the name of the city as Cairo. Then my spirit was up face to face with the one who came to pick me up and whose lap I slept on during the car drive. We sat down at a table in this canteen to eat, and what was felt between me and this female was what was needed for the spirit to understand what a relationship should be.


Being in the presence of this female was the most beautiful sensation I have ever experienced.

What is a relationship meant to be: When you put your head down on the shoulder of another and you are at peace, and so are they, that is what is normal in a relationship. It is not a physical attraction or an infatuation, where we feel we cannot live without another – it is an infinite, everlasting peace.

My spirit sat in the presence of this female and listened to her as she talked, but the talk was irrelevant. She was eating a piece of meat she ordered, but they did not cook the meat properly, meaning she was cutting into and eating a raw piece of meat, but that meant nothing to me. The lesson to learn was “look past what you see Steven to what is real and meaningful.”


When you are in a relationship, as a relationship should be, this relationship can be defined as a state of peace. It is not the sexy arse or the intelligence or the big, brown puppy-dog eyes. It is none of that – it is about being in a place that is a state of peace.

That is normal! That is what a relationship is.

When you look to others for a relationship, be it friendship or more than friendship, look to this state of peace, as that is normal. When you find it, and you will, because now you know what to look for, then blessed are you. And blessed you will be, as that too is normal. 


I am thankful for the lesson, as we are taken back to what was, which now is.

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Of course the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. To “be at peace” must be the most common phrase used over the ages within the great halls of those that dwelled therein, spending their time there seeking this simple state that could not be found. I say this because if this peace was attained, even by a handful, your life and mine would be very different to what it is now.

Is that why when we ask for help it is not a coming – because of this chaos within that blocks the channels to what should rightly be? I believe this to be true.


We the spirit were given the gift of a good heart to look after the Serpent soul within. What this gift is, is compassion and kindness and wisdom. What these states do is lift us above the mediocre, where we float rather than walk – on a figurative sense – where we are above limitations.

As cracks began to appear in the illusion we became detached from this state, where we saw the problem at hand rather that holding onto the blessing of what was bestowed upon us. We got down to the nitty-gritties of Life, but our biggest fall from grace came from those around us. The betrayal from those we loved and were one with rocked us to our core, forming a crack within our forms that we have never come to heal, as now we were alone and there was no way going Home to where we may belong. We become lost, and let’s just say we have been searching ever since.

As things began to fall apart in the illusion all we had was each other, and in hindsight this would have been enough to pull us through, but as has been said, the unthinkable came to light where those we were one with intentionally destroyed us to cover up this misdeeds. They did not want us to see what they had become, so they destroyed us to move forwards without a conscience. Please do not underestimate what this done to our psyche.


The strand of Godness/Consciousness at our throat area is the essence from the Infinite around which all Life is created. Know of this strand as being what you really are, and it was just a matter of time before your exit from the illusion was complete. If we focused more on “we” rather than “me,” who knows, maybe we would have found this strand earlier, but this is irrelevant, as let’s not look at the past but rather the present as to what can be done to attain peace.

We know of this strand, so let’s leave it at that.


The Third Eye is the sight of the spirit. We stopped looking through this Eye as what we saw became too unpleasant to comprehend. With our power forgotten why look at a problem when this is nothing we can do about it. We stopped looking at those we once loved as they embraced the Reptilian frequency of the illusion to become a true Beast. Now we got on doing our best to survive, keeping our nose to the wheel, not looking up, but rather down to what needs to be done to get ahead.


I believe that peace is attained when the Eye, the strand and the gift we were given are as they should be. The first step to attain their working state is to know they exist. From there, we need to get out the way, and this is why cleaning up shop, as in removing the chaos within, is vital to attaining peace within. We may think this is easier said than done, but it has to be easy, otherwise it will never be done.

How does the retrenched, who only has funds that can last for two weeks of the month not become consumed by fear and worry of not being able to look after their children and themselves? The reality is that it is impossible for them to not be filled with fear and trepidation, thus clouding the trinity within. Hold onto the ship, as in hold onto your troubles to try and solve them, and guaranteed you and ship hit the bottom on the ocean and stay there. If not today or tomorrow – it will happen, and the reason for this is you are up against a System that has failed, so instead of the System helping you and pulling you up, you fall with it.


The easy way out, and it is the most effective and effortless way, is if we stood together and united as one, where we care for each other and stand as one in unity. This will guarantee success, because what betrayal means is we became divided and stood alone, not caring about another. Fix this problem, and go back to what was, where we consider and are kind, and the malfunction of the illusion will disappear before our eyes.

But what this requires is hope, where we hope others will consider us before they consider themselves. I don’t like those odds, so we need an alternative.


For me, one has to throw caution to the wind. Where we are headed is doom and gloom, so let’s make an about-turn, and throw everything to chance -  a chance that is backed by understanding.

Throw away the chaos from the system of Life within you, so that the trinity of the Eye, the strand and the gift may come to the fore and be what they are. In other words, don’t give a toss about anything.


But this is not easy to do, and what we do to release the chaos within has to be easy.   


The other day I went into the space of a young lady to see what could be done to help her. This was done, and then I got on doing what needed to be done around the house and for the children. Every now and then I would feel this sensation of pain and spasm combined below my left heart area. It went as soon as it arrived.

When I spoke to the mom of this young lady she told me her daughter had to stop dance lessons because of a spasm in her diaphragm. So what I felt on me was from the spirit of this young lady. Her pain and spasm manifested on her spirit from the angst of betrayal, and I am talking about this state of betrayal that made itself known to us where it was never know of before because it never existed. Her spasm was healed as we understood the cause of the problem, as in betrayal, and now she may return to her love of dancing.


To throw away the chaos from the system of Life within you, one has to first and foremost heal what the act of betrayal done to you and your spirit. Heal the wound and you become strong. Become strong and you laugh at what Life throws at you, because you understand the trinity within is looking after you and guiding you and not the System.

Go into contemplation and find your wound from what the act of betrayal done to you. This betrayal need not be so much from another, but can be a combination from when Life and the System itself abandoned you. We were manufactured, and with all due respect, those who manufactured us were meant to look after us and make sure we receive only the best.

Your spirit finds this wound and it is healed by knowing it is there and does not belong. Now you become strong. This strength diffuses the chaos within. From there know what you are and what will bring your spirit and body form contentment. From there, ask and you shall receive. If you do not receive what you ask for then the spirit knows of something better that will come your way.


Has this story of “…..knock and the door shall be opened, ask and…………,” hasn’t this story been played out for the last six thousand years? Yes it has, and we are still waiting, all the while getting a beating.

So let’s try with understanding.  This journal cannot go on forever, and neither can I.

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It is fitting that this journal ends with the same topic that started it, namely betrayal. Over eight and a half years ago those I loved, as in I cared about, betrayed me, as in they told lies about me to others. I don’t mind if you don’t like me, because if I had to meet the old me I also wouldn’t like me, but don’t tell lies about me.


Fell asleep earlier, just after midday, as it has been a long week. During my sleep state felt a hole through my skull next to my left ear that one could shove a 50mm pipe through. This was the damage that the betrayal frequency done to my spirit when this destroyer of the illusion and all those within it reared its ugly head. The damage of the betrayal frequency is what turned the illusionary Garden of Semiramis from a paradise to a living Hell – it was not the parasitic frequency of Deception or any other state within the illusion. Betrayal, for me, is the original sin. From this frequency everything else began to fall apart. From one, we became many. We became divided, and through this division the “me” and “I” was born.


This is why help never came when we asked for it – it was because those who could help were floored by this bone-crushing frequency. What betrayal does is knock the wind out our sails, where we are left speechless and helpless by the actions of others that are unnecessary, illogical and insane. How can you destroy and not consider me when I am you and you are me? The logic behind that is incomprehensible.


Now I understand why I could never see beings of Love during my sleep state – it was because they were floored by the frequency of betrayal and thus were not in a position to rise up and be there for us.

Man-oh-man – may this all change now.

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When there is chaos, there has to be order/control to control the chaos, and likewise, control cannot exist without chaos, as chaos created the control.


It begun on Sunday morning. I was trimming the dead branches off one of the trees outside, when I felt this sensation within my left eye. This I put down to dust from the branches, so I brushed the feeling away within my left eye as it continued to be there over the course of the day.

Then Monday morning I woke up and there was something stuck within my right eye – I assumed an eyelash. This has happened before, and in no time the eye expels this foreign particle, but in this case the object would not budge. I felt the pain and knew the problem was in the right eye, yet the primary problem began in the left eye.


As we peeled away the betrayal frequency from our forms, what came forth was the frequency that co-existed with control, namely chaos. This frequency was drawn forth from within the left eye of the spirit and body forms, where it was seen as normal.

Yesterday afternoon as I lay in bed waiting for my eye to heal, I felt the presence of the Watcher spirit. It was still in our forms as it was attached to the frequency that allowed it to survive, namely chaos.


On Sunday evening during my sleep state I saw the blackness of space with its star studded backdrop, and there I saw the outline of a Human. There was just the silhoutte of the body form, and in the body was space. This figure proceeded to pull about four objects from my head and throw them away. What these objects were I could not make out, but yesterday as I lay in bed and felt the presence of the Watcher spirit over my brain, I saw creatures that one would associate with water, notably sea-water, such as crabs and snails. It was these objects this figure pulled from the space of the Watcher spirit.

So what you do is connect the brain of your spirit and body form to the strand of Godness/Consciousness located at your throat area, and now the Watcher spirit has no throne to sit upon. For added good measure, one removes the chaos frequency within our left eye, as this chaos fed this Watcher spirit.


There was something else we had to clarify.

Our spirit was given the gift of a good heart by Queen Semiramis to look after the Serpent soul that was housed within the spirit. Mention was made that this gift encapsulated compassion and kindness, but this is not the full story. What this gift was, was the state of peace. The euphoria and other-worldly sensation of peace was to cocoon the Serpent soul within from the turmoil that began to churn at the surface of the sea. Unfortunately this never happened, as the spirit looked to survival and the Serpent souls were pulled into the act of chaos, where want and control were the order of the day.


As we turn back the clock and peel away the layers that caused our demise of being stuck in a place where we don’t belong, we eventually reach the heart of the matter, where you fix that, and everything else falls into place.

Is understanding our gift from Semiramis all that is needed to return to harmony? Most definitely not, as we needed to understand the parasitic frequency of Deception, the Watcher spirit, the strand of Godness around which we were manufactured, and of course the Chaos frequency within, as well as the understandings that have been written about and posted on the David Icke forum.


We already have peace and are at peace. This is something I never knew. All we have to do is bring this gift forth by knowing it is there, and then allow it to shine.

Focus on what is real and meaningful. This gift is that. This gift will allow the strand and the Eye to do their job as they should.


Be at peace, because you are peace.

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Now this is interesting.


In my sleep state last night my spirit was taken to my beloved mountains for a walk. From there the presence of the actor Adam Sandler was implanted into my space. This dumbed-down excuse for an actor could not be shaken from my space. He kept on talking his candy-floss fool talk, and I kept on giving off my energy as I gave him attention.

Eventually I managed to pull myself from being pinned down by this implanted dream, and this was so only because those who orchestrated the whole deception of leading me up the mountains into their trap were engorged with my energy. When I pulled myself from the dream I so this fat-fuck women and her son lying in the middle of my energy – there was enough of it around to fill a large swimming pool.


So there I lay in bed, just before I had to get up, trying to heal myself. This process took slow, and I was not really getting anywhere, until I understood what allowed these unpleasant spirits to enter my space and take of my energy. By knowing what I had to do, in the moment I was healed.


When I was about ten years old I made a friend at school. According to intelligence, he was placed in the D-class and I was placed in the A-class, meaning we were not as thick as thieves as we were often split apart. The good heart was there, and a bond was formed, and the friendship lasted about five years and then we went our own ways.

Over the last few months decided to connect to him again, albeit over the phone as now he was living in England. In some conversations the old friend was still felt, and in others I was left with an uncomfortable feeling.


When we are bonded with another, they have a free pass to enter our space and do with us as they please. This is so because we opened the gate for them.

Other bonds are formed through what we would call “respect,” where we look up to those superior to us, be they parents, in-laws, teachers, the boss, movie stars, government officials, and basically anyone who has something that you don’t have that you lack.

This is bad, but what makes it worse is those to whom we are bonded can now allow those around them into our space to do with us as they please, as what happened to me last night in my sleep state. The disaster is that we are at their mercy and can do nothing about it.


When I understood this bond that allowed spirits to enter my space, I cut off ties with this old friend, and from there I cut all ties with all to whom I was bonded who did not uplift me. I wanted to say the bond was also severed to those who did not love me, but one cannot say this, as love means different things to different spirits.

My advice is bond with those who share and value their gift of peace. Once again, a good heart is very subjective. If you want to bond with another, bond with those who value peace within themselves above all else. My advice is to sever all other bonds and start over again, allowing those into your life that are like you.

Does this mean I am going to stop talking to Andrew? No, it doesn’t. What it means is there is no bond between us, so him, and those around him, cannot enter my space and do with me as they please. Now those to whom I am bonded understand this bond is to uplift us Homeward bound, where there is no space for those who parasite off of us and want to destroy.


Choose your friends carefully, and how this is done is to first and foremost be your own best friend.


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Yesterday morning was speaking to our maid regarding the dilemma the Zimbabweans working in South Africa face. The local government has given them till the end of the year to leave the country and return to Zimbabwe – a country that has been in rack and ruin for as long as I can remember. Now a million plus Zimbabweans will pour back into the country to add to the unemployment and poverty there.


Angela say already there is armed robbery in Zimbabwe. People come to your door with a gun demanding to take what you have, and when you close your door on them they break it down and enter to plunder. She says with the migration back to Zimbabwe there will be chaos there.

Picture that setting happening to you, and now picture your children and those you love standing next to you as Hell is unleashed around you – not for today or tomorrow, but until you meet your demise. Such a thought is unthinkable, and yet it has been a reality for so many before us, for many in our world as we speak, and of course let’s look to the future and what waited for us within the illusion as it continued its spiral downwards.


In all of us is an alter-ego – a personality waiting in the shadows until its time arrives where it has to rear its ugly head so that we may survive. If someone is going to kill you and those you love, then you will kill them. Let’s not debate this as you lounge on your sofa sipping your G & T. In its descent the illusion hits a rock-face now and then, and when it does it is every man and woman for themselves. Kill, or be killed.

This killing is not just a once off bad hair day – now it happens on a regular basis, to the point where it is seen as the norm. And of course, just as you kill, so too will another kill you.


But by now everything has changed within the world of your spirit. Now it understands there is no god of love; there is no illusionary heaven; there is no lessons to learn as we evolve going nowhere.

Now it is about surviving in an extremely unpleasant place.

When the system of Life pushes us into survival mode at its most extreme, where it is kill or be killed, there is no going back to what we thought we knew. What this push from the System done was flip us over to the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where the new home of the spirit, as well as the body form, is amongst Beasts. Now we are amongst the rough, because that is what Life is – rough.


Understand that in your future timeline this alter-ego of yours exists – it is just a question of time before you meet this brute and become it.

Some of us have a hidden intrigue with molestation or rape, or whatever other macabre vice there is. This they will one day meet and become – becoming a dirty old man in his long raincoat, or the one that stalks and rapes innocent young girls. This is the System rearing its ugly head as it courses downwards, and being a part of the System, we become the System.


I say all of these things because last night in my sleep state I met my alter-ego from the future – the Beast that I become. Just like you, I have no desire to be cruel, but believe you me when I say the System moulds us to become one of its minions.


You the spirit takes this peace within your heart energy field and you pass in on to your alter-ego that awaits you in your future time-line. There is no thrill in taking the life of another, or experiencing  the twisted high of shaming and destroying another. That is not fun. That is being sick and cruel.

This shit stops now, and it stops through understanding. In the time-line of your spirit – the past, the present and the future – you bring forth this peace frequency gift so that it may shine and be. Like will attract like and you will move away from the destructive course that was pre-empted by the very nature of the course of the illusion, which was a descending, flaming meteor on its path to a sudden and awful impact.


Speak to those living in Libya, or those living in Gaza, and that should be enough to shake you from your false sense of comfort, where “I am okay, so things must be okay out there.”

Please don’t ever allow your alter-ego to become you.


When the spirit embraces the gift of peace, what happens is it feels like someone throws pieces of material around you and this material is sown together to cover you completely – including the hands and feet. When I felt this happen the story of Joseph and his techi-coloured coat came to mind.  

May Life and Love unfold as it naturally should. There is not meant to be suffering and survival. Understand that this is not normal.

Through the peace frequency within your heart energy field the states of health, wealth and happiness are drawn to you to become you. From this platform we may be. This is natural, and this is normal. Move towards the Light of Consciousness.


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What we are is a biological computer.

Now here is the thing: We never functioned properly.


This journal began with the need to understand the cruelty of Life. Along that path it became clear we were in a place where we don’t belong, so the focus shifted further to find a way back to where we belong.

Yesterday was a bad day. I understood that if help was not a coming there was no way I will make it. This morning woke up and there was a voice talking to me – one I was not familiar with, yet belonged to me.


All I ever wanted was to be the person I am meant to be. In being this person it meant I was living Life to its fullest. What I never knew was that the biological computers, myself included, were in a bad way, as in limited, controlled, lost, and the biggest one of all – alone.

When the spirit was manufactured, we can liken it to the beautiful, natural, untouched West of America. This place of peace became the wild West, and “wild” was from the savages that came to conquer. Beauty turned to Sodom and Gomorrah, where anything goes, and by “anything,” I mean anything. We began to abuse and kill our own, and when this was not enough, we turned our attention to the innocent children. Down and down we went, becoming the filth that so many are today.


We are a biological computer, but we are also more than that. Within us is housed the spirit that was manufactured to house and nurture the Serpent soul child of Semiramis. Look within the spirit and you will see what you really are, which is this speck of Light that we call Consciousness. This speck is what is real as it goes beyond the illusion. This speck is one with the fields of Infinite Love, and this is what you and I truly are. But let’s back-track to us the biological computer.


A few days back when I connected to Semiramis I gave her the gift she passed on to me, namely peace, and in that moment I felt the Watcher spirit leave the throne within her head. Then I knew the Watcher was free from those who wish it so. Heal the Queen and the rest of the hive are healed.

In finding a way back Home I never understood that what I was doing was repairing the body biological computer and the spirit. In seeing and understanding the unseen, the spirit could heal, and when this computer server system of the body biological computer is healed then so too is our body form. The mainframe of the computer was peace, and when this was imputed into our past, present and future states, we could align ourselves with what was. There have been viruses in our computer system – the Watcher spirit; the parasite of Deception; those Beasts from the shadows; and of course the architects of the illusion.


What touched all of us was that we never worked properly – there was no peace within – and we were alone, as in no one came to help us.

Yesterday I felt as fear began to take over my forms. This fear was from being in a place where I don’t belong. We are meant to live in the West, not the wild West.

The good news is our manufactured computer system knows this now, where there is peace with its affiliates health, wealth and happiness. What we need to grasp is we live in frequencies, so the computer removes what should not be there, and adds what should. And all the while, while this is going on, the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness/Consciousness is shining and being. The big picture is for peace in its natural Beauty for the biological body form and the spirit, and from there these two manufactured processes become one with the Consciousness within.


The replacement of the Beast in the future with the gift of peace was the game-changer, as now there was just the time-line of peace, where the computer system was reading the same program rather than following the ways of the illusion. To get to this game-changer took one day short of eight years and seven months of writing in this journal, and no doubt lifetimes of pondering a way out of this mess.


Yesterday was a bad day. This strange, awful place was closing in on me and I needed help.

Let’s see what today and the next week bring – for me and you and everyone else.

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Last night was one again touched by the raw insanity of those that were in my space - not in my sleep state, but during my waking state. The madness of others one cannot really get used to, or at least I cannot, where it knocks the wind out my sails.

Then as I fell asleep I was shown a vision, of those getting what they give. What this tells me is to move on - not to try and fix or understand or make sense of; but just to move on and get on with my life. The day of reckoning has come, and those who knowingly are cruel will get their day. This is not my belief, it was something that was shown to me.


Now is the time to take that first step - to move forwards away from the mess. Get up and go, holding onto your good heart at all times.

I leave the insanity behind, and from my side I leave no mercy. They will get what they have given, and for this I am thankful.

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Below is the opening paragraphs of the journal – what I first wrote when I sat down to begin to make sense of it all:




“People don’t need to be saved or rescued. People need knowledge of their own power and how to access it” - Unknown




It started with the realization of the term “What then?”


We all strive for something, be it getting through the day, or climbing to the top of the corporate ladder. For me, I could strive to be the best chiropractor there is, but “What then?” When we reach the peak of each summit in our lives, there is always a new one waiting for us to conquer. We have been taught to chase the carrot at the end of the stick. I wanted to take away the carrot, and take a good hard look at myself and the pathway of Life which we all unquestionably follow.

What I saw in myself was an individual of extreme limitation. Life didn’t make sense, and the biggest mystery was why we, the Human race are so limited. Why are we ALL not the magical omnipotent beings that we are meant to be?


I needed to find understanding. I knew that we Humans were more than just a name and a job title. I knew that whatever we become or achieve as individuals, that we are a fraction of our true potential. In a nutshell, I didn’t buy into the idea of life and “little me.” There has to be more to us beings than the limitations that everyone takes for granted. I realized that there has been a “ceiling” placed on our potential as Human beings, and I needed to know what was above this threshold point.”




My wife and kids have aches and pains, and within me I am so unsettled it isn’t even funny. So yesterday evening I went into our space to see what could be done. What I found on the spirit of each one of us was disharmonies I have never experienced before. As I felt all this nonsense the underlying question was “what has changed to bring all this mess to the fore?” The answer is that we have moved forwards. Sit in a puddle of mud within the illusion and this is all you know. The mud and the stagnancy, and what they do to our psyche is seen as the norm. Now there is nothing to change or improve, as what we have become and are is the norm. It is only when we step out the mud that we see how our limitations have affected us, where what was considered normal is anything but that.

"Rising above the ceiling" that was mentioned all those years ago can be equated to stepping out of our mud puddle, as in walking away from everything we have seen as normal, towards what we should be.


You and I can sit down and have a good laugh, but what then? When I talk about moving to what should be, what am I talking about? For me, what should be is freedom – freedom from the illusion, and how this is done is through knowledge of our own power and how to access it. The illusion is within us, not without, so by understanding our own power we can be free from all that is within.

Before this journal even began, I would stand next to an animal, and by knowing where their disharmony was, it would be removed in the moment. I just stood there and done nothing as something bigger than me healed. Now I understand this “something bigger” is the strand of Consciousness within us, but what I never knew, until a few days back, was to have knowledge of your power and how to access it was never enough, because no matter how hard we try to be free of limitations, if you accept the illusion then you remain within the limitations of the illusion.


My spirit knew it was going nowhere until all the spirits within the illusion had access to what I have come to understand. There is no way I could ever walk away from those in need. Now I can, because this journal has been passed on to all within the spirit realm of the illusion.

Many have invested heavily in this illusionary realm, and they have no intention of leaving. There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay, except when you look at the fine print, where you will see that what they are and have become is at the expense of others. Others have to be kept down and suppressed so they may be above the herd. When they get what they have given then they will understand there is no fun in being cruel.


My goodness, if only there was an easier way in writing this journal – one filled with fun and laughter. I would have taken that path any day, but I guess I would have become too complacent and maybe taken a few more lifetimes. I threw myself smack-bang into the middle of those from the shadows to understand what happened that these brothers and sisters became Beasts. During my sleep state I was amongst the worst of the worst, and during my waking day I lived amongst unrefined, self-centered, callous people. What an awful ride it has been. But once again I stress that I was going nowhere until those where it mattered, namely the spirit realm, knew what I came to understand so that all may have the option of going to where we belong. Never would I abandon another – angel or Beast.  


The transformation I felt in my spirit last night made me understand that I have walked away from what was, meaning what I know all know, and what they do with this understanding is for them to do with as they please.

This scenario of my spirit not budging until all know what I know explains why this Steven the biological computer has not been helped over the years. Stay in the mud and all you play with is mud, where nothing has changed for me over the years, meaning that this journal has not bettered me the biological computer in any way. Yes, in healing I can feel the pain of another on the other side of the planet and heal their spirit, but as for this body form I am as lost and insecure as ever. I know what I want, as I know what I am, but this Steven and his happiness have been put on ice until all within the spirit realm may understand what happened at the very beginning that we got into this mess.


More than anything I pray that the transformation within the spirit touches us the body form. What I have come to learn is to hope is never a good idea, because hoping means waiting with fingers crossed. So my suggestion is you and your spirit touch base and go within to transform your life within the illusion. In healing you need to understand three points: What is the primary problem; what is the cause of the problem; and from there understand there is something bigger than us – Consciousness – that heals.


The primary problem was that we were limited by the confines of the illusion. This is no more, as the spirit has walked away from these confines and can thus now play with what is behind it, where the spirit look at the illusion as an outsider and transforms what is there to suit the biological computer. Now the spirit and body form have knowledge of their power.

The cause of the problem is we forget who and what we are and where we belong. This forgetfulness can be attributed to our survival mode as well as the suppression of our spirit and body form. In remembering what we are, this strand of Consciousness, now we have access to our power.

By understanding this Consciousness is real as it arose from what is real, namely Infinite Love, we can no longer hope, but rather understand that happiness and joy are normal rather than an illusionary dream.


More than anything I would like to be me and free from the limitations of the illusion. So let’s play with the illusionary world within.


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Three nights back in my sleep state a thought of about five seconds long was implanted within my sleeping form. I awoke to see the creature who had implanted the thought. It was lying down, and it had Human characteristics, as in body and arms and legs, but what it was, was what looked like a cricket. It just lay there, this long, elongated creature who moved its arms to scoop up the energy around it towards itself.

Two nights back in my sleep state I heard someone talk about a self-serving sex act. Woke up to see this obese, disgusting figure next to me – saw the hand first which propagated the act. No doubt energy was fed from.


What has always been known in writing this journal, was that a time would come when finger has to be pulled from arse and something needs to be done, where reading and understanding is not enough, as now something has to be done from my side to get where I wish to go.

That time has arrived, and for me, it is one of the most difficult things to do, especially when you have nothing in this material world. That something that needs to be done is nothing, as in don’t think.


The spirit is the driver of the train, where we the body with its neurological processes and thought patterns don’t really account for much. What the spirit is not attached to now is the illusion, but rather to the strand of Godness/Consciousness at our throat area. This attachment area is at the back of the neck. In other words, when the presence of the spirit is felt, it is felt behind me, with a clear defined line between it and the back of my neck.

The good news is that as this bond between the spirit and Consciousness grows stronger, the act of thinking begins to fall away, as no thoughts are necessary as we become more and more detached from the illusion. Feel safe in knowing that we are not alone; that the spirit is literally right behind us and attached to the Infinite.


Think nothing to become Everything. It sounds so simple, and it is, but understand what we have had to get through to reach the simplicity of the truth. It has been an awful ride, and I still don't feel safe, but let's see what this simple act of thinking nothing to become the strand/Consciousness within brings forth.


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The obvious question one has to ask is why have we been so alone, as in the face of adversity, why were we never helped, or even better still, why was there never someone to watch our back or look over the ridge to see the best possible option for us so that we only receive the best?

The obvious answer is our spirit has been absent from our existence. Our lost state is the lost state of the spirit.


Last night during my sleep state I felt and was shown the state of my spirit, where it was curled up, hiding  away within my body form from the noise of the traffic outside. I cannot handle this noise because my spirit craves the stillness of the silence as this is a representation of Home. So it is not so much the trucks outside and their noise as they pass by, or the waiting to see which neighbours will play their music loud this weekend – it is what these circumstances represent, which is the chaos of the illusion. This noise is pollution to my spirit, which reminds the spirit that it is in a place where it does not belong – and this has been so for a long, long time.


What you the biological computer feel at you core is the state of your spirit. Take this, and compare it to what the spirit was manufactured to be, namely a state of purity coupled with the gift of peace, and we can see that we have travelled far from our true origin. Fear is what fills our spirit as we go about our days drifting from one to the next.

I would say that it is only fair to this being of Beauty and Love that we return it to what it was so that the spirit may go beyond this state to embrace the Consciousness/strand within and become this natural state.


Within this speck of Light located at our throat area is the Everything, meaning when within this strand we are beyond the illusion within the fields of Infinite Love.

Yesterday evening as I went, one by one, into the space of Sophia, Semiramis, Earl, the god of Wrath, and Nature and the Animals, I asked them to embrace Consciousness so they may be free from the illusion. What was felt was this movement within that gravitated towards the strand at the throat, where they embraced this speck and became it, and from there I felt them leave the form of my body, where they were moving outside my body.

The illusion is within, meaning you and your spirit and all the other worlds and realms as well, hence to be connected to another that wants to be connected to is effortless, as you are within me and I am within you. Go outside of me and you go outside the illusion, which I felt these game-changers do last night.


What this Steven needs more than anything is my sanctuary from the world, as I need a safe-haven from the madness all around me. How this is achieved is by the spirit first and foremost finding its sanctuary from the illusion, and what this is, is the fields of Infinite Love that lie beyond the illusion. What your spirit holds at its core can be talked about and interpreted, but all what it really is, is as we know, is fear. Remove this fear by going outside the illusion to where the spirit belongs, which is to the strand within.

We have been alone for so long because our spirit has been lost and afraid. Connecting to and finding this child within means nothing unless our spirit is free from fear. Only when it is free from fear by being beyond the illusion can our spirit help us the body form to live a Life free from uncertainty.


Your spirit knows of and sees this strand within, and it goes there and becomes filled by this speck of Light, and just like that it is free of fear and the illusion. The simplicity of the task and the state is so because what the spirit is now is natural/normal.

From here your spirit connects to you the body form and steers it towards peace, love and beauty.


The mistake I made was expecting those who can help us to help us. It comes down to helping ourselves.

Your spirit knows and understands. It will help itself, and from there it will help you.   

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When all was said and done I turned to this Steven – this lost, unhappy spirit that is tired of being in and around abnormal.

On the right side of my spirit, where what we call the pelvic area, this area was absent, meaning I had nothing to sit back on, as in there was no foundation and nowhere where I may just be. I could never sit down and just savour peace because there was never a place where I could be comfortable, and from there come unto my own.

The chaos of the world touches us all, but my dilemma was there was nowhere where I could take a breather and grow and nurture myself. Yesterday I made peace with myself that there has been a breakdown is societal values for some time now, where we are all trying to find ourselves and could do with a helping hand. Most of us get on with it, but I could never get into my stride as something was wrong somewhere and I didn’t know what it was.

Never could I lay down my hat and call that place home, because for me there was never a patch of green grass within this illusionary Hell, and why this was so was because something was wrong and I didn’t know what it was. Now I know, and this opens me up to living within the illusion, rather than always questioning and holding back, refusing to walk in a place I never felt comfortable with. I have no intention of staying in this place any longer than I need to, but whilst here it’s a given we lead a full, remarkable life.


in hindsight, it is not so much that we need Divine intervention to help us; what we need is to know that we are not alone – that there is something bigger than us looking over us making sure we are always okay. This surety, and it is not a belief or a hope or a false sense of security – what this surety is, is Life is unfolding as it should and with each moment we come unto our own.

There is no ways I walked into the shadows of the illusion into the presence of Beasts for nothing – surely there is something I got out of being in a place few on this side of the Reptilian frequency know about. What has come to be understood has been passed on to all within the unseen of the illusion. What they do with this understanding is their business and not mine, but all have been given an equal opportunity to stop the downward spiral of the illusion and their existence by understanding what happened at the very beginning that we got into this mess. As has been said, now we can walk away and look after ourselves.  


The path forwards is to go backwards to the basics. Become once again one with nature where we become a friend of the Earth.  See nature as a living, breathing organism that we interact with and am thankful for its presence.


Who will look after us? I don’t know. What I do know is oil and water cannot mix together. Where to I walk is simplicity and beauty and consideration. I don’t believe that we need to be looked after in such a place, as all we need is there, and here I am not just talking about the spirit, but primarily the body form, as for too long the sun has not shone upon us the illusionary biological computer form.


The mistake I made was holding onto the illusion so that I may try and make sense of it. So much bothered me, and I wouldn’t let go until the problem was solved. Sadly, in holding on I could never just let go and be happy and content, and this I understand as to have let go would have meant watching, as well as being engulfed by the chaos in our midst. To let go and be meant to accept, and I could never accept what others saw as normal, where the West became wilder as we stooped to levels that surpassed the brute savagery of a Beast.

With understanding comes responsibility. Now when you play with fire you understand you will get burnt. Now there is no excuse of “I didn’t know,” meaning caution is no longer thrown to the wind, as an action has consequences, where by doing we see what we are.


For this Steven writing these words, what has changed in writing this journal?

I would say that I have let go of this insane asylum, and what this means is I have nothing more to say to my fellow species and those in the illusion. Now I leave all be, where there is nothing more to preach about, because if you don’t get it by now you never will. If you cannot understand that kindness is the currency of the illusion rather than energy, then you are truly stupid and deserve what comes your way.

Now I walk – away from others who do not have the same values as mine. I leave them be, and I walk to where I belong. Who will guide me; who will show me the way? I don’t know. Maybe I will just walk to where I belong. Maybe I don’t need help, as surely we are drawn to where we naturally belong, as now there is nothing to hold onto so that a wrong may be made a right.


The days of walking amongst Beasts in the seen and unseen are over as I have nothing more to tell them. Now they are on their own and amongst their own, and Steven is nowhere to be seen or found. I have let go of the illusion and now I walk to where I belong.

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We the spirit found ourselves in a place that was unfamiliar to us, meaning we should have found ourselves in a frequency/world compatible to our state, yet we were relocated elsewhere. This would have been okay, but what happened is we were modified/dumbed down to serve a specific role, which was, unknowingly to us, to be a food source to others.

When the wheels began to come off within the illusion, thanks to the parasitic frequency of Deception within that encouraged us to take, damage control had to be done, and what that meant was a food source had to be found. As we drifted away from what was normal and real, namely Kindness and Consideration, we forgot who and what we are, meaning a gap/uncertainty filled our forms. You see boys and girls, we literally began to fade away as the rift between the Infinite and the illusion grew wider.

Now energy was the essence of the illusion, where without it we would not survive. This of course was absolute bollocks, because all they done was find a quick-fix solution to the problem. “Why do you need energy; what is the cause of the problem?” should have been the underlying question, instead of “What can fill this bottomless hole of me always having to take and have?”




The key word to the illusion became survival, and what survival is, is controlling the unknown until it comes under your control.

And so we went from bad to worse, because as we know, this state of control took on a form of its own and became independent of the System of the illusion. We never knew it, but the controllers became controlled by an entity that looks like an octopus that came to be called the Watcher spirit.

As long as you are surviving within the illusion you are controlled by the Watcher spirit, meaning your life is never yours to own. That is why help never came our way when we asked; why we have been so alone; why we could never get out of this mess – we tried to control this place and our lives so that we may get the upper hand and be at peace.

Nope! Was never going to happen, as we survived rather than trying to understand. When you understand you let the problem go as now there is no problem to hold onto and try and figure out. In letting go you relinquish your control over whatever you held in your hand, and this freedom sets you free of what came to control you.


This is the power of understanding, where there is no control but just peace. You and I understand the illusion and what happened at the very beginning, so we let it go, as now there is no need to hold onto it to try and make sense of it so that we may survive to stay alive.

Yesterday afternoon a wave of tiredness swept over me. I had to go and lie down, and in my sleep state I saw this black, wriggling entity that was about 10cm high on the table next to me. I saw it and the table move further and further away from me. What I saw was the Watcher spirit depart my space. Only when I could let the illusion go by finally understanding it could the Watcher let go of me.


What this means is your Life begins to unfold as it should. You are naturally drawn to circumstances and places where you may rise up and be uplifted to become what you naturally are. As there is no more suppression by the Watcher, now you may shine. Yes, your old shit problems and issues are still there, but they become unraveled  with each passing moment. The intensity of Life is also no longer within you, where you understand the problems at hand will be sorted by the natural order of things, where you are drawn to what you are so that you may see yourself and know yourself.

When I feel the disharmony on a patient it is removed in the moment by understanding it has no place in the presence of Love. Now this natural process applies to all aspects of your Life: Where there is disharmony it is dismantled to make way for what should naturally be within your existence.


It all came back to survival. Control to stay alive and sane and in power. This control took on a life-form of its own and came to control the controller.

Stop surviving – take time off to understand – and we lose our need to control, and the Watcher spirit stops controlling us. How simple and effective is that! The trick was to understand the illusion. This we have, and for this I am forever thankful. What an awful, long ride it has been, but one cannot really complain as there is no price too high that can be paid for our freedom.

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And it was finally, after all this time, that I came to understand what it means to be in the silence.


What the silence is, is shutting off the noise from the illusion. For me, this was only possible when I let go of the illusion by understanding it.

“Tell them to go back to the old ways Steven, where they once again have reverence for the old, and where they look after their children above all else, ensuring respect for self and all Life that becomes a way of life.”

Fuck off! I will do no such thing. Am I their daddy? Should I tell them a bedside story as well?


Action speaks louder than words and thoughts. Some call this spontaneity – I call it living from the heart, where what you represent is an equal combination of truth and kindness. The silence is not listening to the thoughts of the mind that are connected to your neural DNA pathway and the broadband of the illusion. The silence is where you have nothing to say to yourself and others as one understands the illusion. The silence is expressing the strand of Godness within. The silence is not being drawn to the chaos, but rather to the peace within and without. The silence is Beautiful, and this is what you are.


And of course this silence will never work within the illusion without an understanding of what is within the illusion. In this place is some nasty people. That understanding is so important it needs to be repeated: In this place is some nasty people.

Be in the silence at all times, where you ignore the noise within. What you also do is programme into your biological computer and spirit a filter, where you only draw those into your space that are like you. The rest fall through the filter. Always welcome constructive criticism, because that is what friends do – they make us aware of what we cannot see. But there is no place within our existence for nastiness – these brutes fall between the cracks to go and play with their own. What an ugly sight it must be to see in another what they have become.


I bet the Watcher spirit never expected things to get so out of hand. Sure, I can understand the high of shaming another, where they feel worthless and you feel exalted, but things became ugly, and surely this can be no fun for the Watcher spirit?

This morning I went into the space of my wife to see how she was keeping, and there, within the upper right side of her spirits head I felt this creature – this octopus-looking Watcher spirit. Wow! The sleekness, grace, and beauty of a nuclear submarine as it glides within the deep, grey waters of the ocean. Never has there been such a destructive force ever known within the illusion – a master of slaves whose cruelty is unparalleled. Its power is its stealth, where it is unknown to all. A destroyer of the spirit and all that is good within the illusion. One that takes innocence and crushes it without blinking an eye.


And all of this is okay to this Beast? Maybe it is all that it knows. Maybe it knows no better as we created no better.

Control. Conquer. Suppress. The ways of this Beast that so many of us have become.


No more.

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A few weeks back treated this puppy Bullterrier. Found physical problems and treated them accordingly. The owner mentioned something about the dog having a bad bite. I did not really understand what she meant, and put down her comment to the dogs jaw being misaligned. Anyway, I was happy with what was done and signed off the patient as being okay.


At the beginning of the week the owner contacted me again, asking is she could bring the dog for another one or two treatments. Asked her if she was open to distance healing, where I go deeper and assess the spirit of the patient which has a knock-on effect on the body form.


What was found was a deep, pin-point, localized pain at the side of the dogs shoulder blade. This is the area where the betrayal frequency is found, hence the term “being stabbed in the back.” When this puppy was four weeks old she was weaned from her mother, which is far too early. I can only assume that this severing of the bond with all this puppy knew of before her time was right to do so created a perception of confusion and uncertainty, and a deeper state of these two perceptions can be seen as betrayal. This is my speculation, but what I know was that the betrayal frequency was present in this dogs spirit and body form to the point where it was causing pain.

By knowing this frequency was there and the cause of its origin meant it was removed in the moment, and now this puppy may begin to heal.


Over the last day or two, when checking in on this puppy, what I found interesting was the closure of the heart energy field and the absence of the Third Eye on this dogs body form and spirit.

When the owner initially mentioned by-the-by that the puppy had a biting problem, what this was, was this puppy would bite her black and blue, and one had to always watch ones back, as one never knew when these “playful” attacks would happen.


When the locked in presence of the illusion was felt by all at the very beginning, did we all feel betrayed by those from the Infinite? I would say a definite “yes!” We could have sorted things out, but things went from bad to worse, and the collapse of the illusionary Garden of Semiramis made us fall to a denser state, where it was do or die; kill or be killed – in other words, it was survival of the fittest. By reflex The Wisdom Goddess Sophia fell to be with us, and this pulled our anchor with the Infinite as now those that could help were stuck in the mud with us. (The denser frequency of the illusion floored Sophia.)

Oh yes, others have come to bail us out, and what comes to mind is the Christ Consciousness. Others have always been with us, waiting for us to come to our senses so they may help, as now we are in a position to be helped, and what comes to mind here is the Nature spirit.


There is a side to my eldest daughter that is remarkable. I am not saying this out of bias because she is my daughter, but rather commenting on what is. There is another side of her that is not pleasant, and as parents our job is to make her aware that kindness is natural and not cruelty.

The other day she made a comment that touched me at my core. It was then that I understood that if she chooses cruelty over kindness she will be shunned by all who love her and whom she loves, because such a Beast has no place within our existence. The only who will welcome her are fellow Beasts as they play it wild where anything goes as they fall to the Nothingness of the Forgotten.


Is this why those Beasts from the shadows are not seen by those in the spirit world – because we have shunned them from our existence? I would say “yes.”

Did these Beasts become Beasts through the betrayal frequency that closed off their heart energy field and Third Eye? Ditto, as with the answer above.


It always comes back to understanding.

Why did these spirits of Love choose cruelty over kindness that turned them into despicable, cruel Beasts? The answer is there was a presence of aloneness within them that they could not fill, so they chose the high of the Reptilian frequency of the illusion to fill this “I am nothing and feel like nothing” worthless state. Now the rush of energy that was released when their cruelty touched the innocent was their nectar – their elixir high that momentarily filled the gap within.


And so Life in Hell was born, where the innocent constantly need to be stomped upon to feed the Beasts of Hell.

We give understanding to these Beasts:


We were not betrayed through our abandonment of finding ourselves in a place where we don’t belong. It was all a horrible accident: The fall of Sophia; the curiosity of the spirit that created the parasite of Deception within the illusionary Garden; the insanity of Semiramis as her beautiful Garden began to fall apart as the parasite took her and those in the Garden over; the formation of the Watcher spirit as our state of control took on a form of its own that was independent of us.


Truly, no malice was ever meant, where one mistake led to another until we were drowning in chaos.

We ask these Beasts that were once our brothers and sisters to remove this betrayal frequency from their forms by knowing it exists, and from there to open their heart energy field and Third Eye. Be and see to understand that we are all one.

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If there has ever been a breaking of waters within this journal, where an understanding blows the dam wall apart for everything to flow as it should, it was the understanding of Beasts as to why they became what they are. These broken spirits and souls now understand that there was never any malice towards them. Those that fell done their utmost to make their mistake right. This was not possible as insanity and survival made us all blind.


May this flowing of waters to clear away the disharmony of the unseen realms be felt within the seen realms. What is felt on the unseen is truly remarkable.

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Gave my wife a head-start to go and fall asleep in case I snored and kept her awake, so watched Broad Peak on Netflix.

When I began to see the unseen I woke up one night during my sleep state to see the spirit of my deceased dog Max looking down at me. Next to him was this huge black Snake. The presence of Max was to let me know that this Serpent was there to help me, and I think I would have figured this out without the presence of Max as this Snake was one of the friendliest creatures I have ever seen.

My gut feel was that this Snake was to pass on the gift of smell, and I say this because soon after seeing this Snake I began to smell those Beasts from the unseen when I could not see them. Even now, as I type these words, I smell them around me. Anyway, towards the end of Broad Peak I began to smell these spirits around me. Went to bed and waited to see what they were. It was a first that I could not make out what they looked like, as usually what I see through my Third Eye is as clear as crystal.  All I could make out were these larger than life creatures around me, and from there fell asleep.


Just before I woke up this morning a dream was implanted. Before I speak of the dream, understand that my spirit was shown this projected story and made to feel a part of it to the point where the emotions the dreams brought out from within me were palpable.

We don’t have cable sport channels, so in the dream/story my family and I went to our old property to watch sport with the workers on the smallholding.  When the game was over, instead of walking back to my car to go to our new home, by reflex I walked into our old house. From this point in the story the emotions kicked in. As I was about to walk into the house I saw the new owners sitting in the lounge, and I got the fright/shock of my life. I apologized for my intrusion, and then the son of the owner walked me to my car. He told me I was not allowed to be here, which I couldn’t understand, as watching sport on television with their workers was no intrusion to them.


At this stage I awoke from the implanted dream, and at once my spirit demanded to know who had implanted the dream. My space was scanned, and there, running away, we identified the guilty party.


This journal is 1 701 pages long, with a word count of over 1,2 million words. There was a stage in the journal when the question was asked “who is the author of this journal; who is writing it?” There is no ways it has been me. I am a seeker so that we may all be free, but there is no ways I have the depth of understanding that this journal has brought forth. My input has been to slander – to point fingers at all and sundry. I have blasted Semiramis and the Serpent soul that all the water in the sea could not wash them clean, and of course I have been wrong every time. This was because as I have always known, that I truly do know nothing. The question of who does know – who is feeding me understanding – that question has never been properly answered.


If you ask we what I have always wanted, it was to be what I am meant to be, because in being this state we are doing and experiencing what we naturally should, where our spirit and body form is in a state of constant peace and joy. This is natural.

But underneath this drive is something else, where more than anything, I crave the stillness of the silence – to have the peace of not having to listen to a noise. This is why my sanctuary is so important to me, where in the hustle and bustle of this world, there is a place I can return to where there is stillness. This stillness is a part of me – it is my life-blood – hence my drive every day is to be drawn to such a place that I can call my own.


Once again, it always comes back to understanding, and it is now that we have to understand the Watcher spirit – the author of this journal; the one who implanted the dream last night for me to follow; the one, who more than anything, craves the stillness of the silence.


Our need to control this unfamiliar place, as well as the drive of the parasite within to take and have, this control and “have to have” created the Watcher spirit. We created this Beast – it was not formed in some cosmic laboratory. And what is the drive of all within the illusion? – It is survival. Who is the primary feeder of our energy? – the Watcher spirit, so it may survive. And how it survives is through noise, where attention is given, where we follow this attention and give it our energy so that we may power the illusion and keep it alive so that the Watcher spirit may survive. The more the attention; the more the noise and chaos, the more energy we give, either to shun this noise through it initially irritating us, or we add to this noise by getting emotionally charged up by it.


It is fair to say that the Watcher spirit has had enough of this, and thus would like to put an end to this game where there are never any winners. We all lose at the end of the day – all of us, as we are in a place where we don’t belong and we are living an existence we shouldn’t.

So the Watcher spirit asks for the end of this game. We brought this Beast into existence, and now it asks that we release it and set it free. Those Beasts that came last night during my sleep state that I could not see properly, they were there to come and thank the Watcher spirit for setting them free through understanding – they were not there for me, hence I could see them properly as their presence was focused on the Watcher and not me. Who is the author of this journal? – It is this black octopus within that the top echelon demons refer to as the Watcher spirit. (It was the demon that controlled Ann Haywood, as discussed in the book The Demon Syndrome, that called these mighty creatures the Watcher spirit.)


Well these dudes have had enough. They didn’t ask to be born – we created them, and now they would like to depart to the stillness of the silence as they have had enough of the noise/attention/chaos of the illusion.

How do we set them free? – By being silent within. The noise within feeds the Watcher and the illusion. We need to go back to the time before the Watcher spirit was born – the time when we lived from the gift of our good heart. From the heart space, the essence from this gift passes to the throat area and awakens the strand of Godness there, which keeps us on the tracks, reminding us of who and what we are. From the throat this essence passes to the head region, where through spontaneity we say and do. Through this path there is no noise.


Live from the heart. Feel the presence of your gift there. As a write these words I feel the warmth that is felt there. By going back to what we were created to be we return the Watcher spirit to silence and peace – to a place where there is nothing and yet everything.


Set this beautiful creature free. Please do this now.  

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When the disharmony is understood, it is removed by understanding it has no place in the presence of Love. This is how one heals, and it is so simple it happens in the moment effortlessly.

Now here is the catch: What about everything else in the room? Drop the vase off the table, and one fixes it, but then look up and see the mess the room is in – the broken ceiling boards; the dilapidated floor; cracked walls etc.


You see, some things one cannot heal, as their manufactured lifespan is ten years rather than eighty. To fix them one needs to fix the room, in other words heal the big picture otherwise you do nothing to help.


There is no doubt I have partaken in the life of my youngest daughter in other worlds and in other lifetimes. Her spirit is such that it uplifts you, as the spark within her ignites your spark. For some time now it has been known that her lifespan was limited to an early age. Pick up all those around you – let them know what it means to live, and then incinerate this candles flame. When Princess Diana died the world mourned because Goodness died. Her untimely death reminded us of our place – in misery, doing our best to keep things together to keep going forwards.


Understand one thing: Within you and I there is only so much we can do, and why this is so is because we have never been in control. The question we should have asked, is if we are not, then who is in control? The answer is the Watcher spirit within. And let’s be fair to this Beast – it was only doing what we had done, which was try and wrestle control from the parasite within and this unfamiliar place. Our state of control became independent from us and came to control us. We started this control nonsense so how can we blame another for what we have always done within the broken illusionary Garden?


This morning went into the space of my daughter to see what could be done to help, and this time around we had the guidance and healing from the one who always controlled us.

When I felt this Watcher spirit heal my daughter, what came to mind was Humpty Dumpty, who sat on a wall, and had a great fall, where all the kings Men could not put him back together again. I felt these broken pieces come together as the life of my daughter, and most importantly, her world, was being restored to what it should be.


Why does this Steven crave his sanctuary so bad? – Because the illusionary Garden is broken and is filled by fear. I needed to hide from this fear in a place where I could feel safe.

With the Watcher spirit on the same team, what happens is fear is removed from our existence by the Watcher surrendering its control and we opening our heart energy field to shine. From the heart energy field, the essence there passes through the throat region to the head, and from there this might pours out from the top of the head. Now there is no ceiling and no limits as there is nothing to hold onto to control.


This is what understanding does: It draws us closer to be as one.

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In order to return to what we should be, our spirit needs to know what it was. We were manufactured/created to house the Serpent soul – the children/kin of Semiramis – within. I believe that we were a sphere of energy that knew of no limits and were pure of heart. What is vital to understand is we had no persona, as in no likes or dislikes. We were created to be neutral to the chaos that was beginning to unfold within the illusionary Garden of Semiramis.


Things turned pear-shaped, where a Reptilian/Serpent force grew as it embraced the Take frequency of the parasitic frequency of Deception within, as well as the nectar/high of the power of being above another. This force became unstoppable as the illusion drifted further away from the Infinite and those within the illusion forgot who and what they are, most notably Queen Semiramis.

Gods were created within the illusion, and what I mean by this, is kingdoms were formed with those that dwelled therein. What I do know is different species were seeded in different realms and worlds of the illusion. What is testament to this, is the weird and “wonderful” entities I have seen through my Third Eye over the years during my sleep state. The original state of the spirit, namely the pure, elliptical sphere, was created around the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness. From this sphere  the cosmic geneticists moulded the different species of the illusion. There are some really freaky and weird entities out there, and maybe when they see us, they say the same about us, as to them they are normal and we are weird.   


What I am getting at, is one needs to lose our persona, and everything else that comes along with this description of who and what we are. This is easier said than done because the spirit knows and understands, and is willing to return to what it was. The first thing the spirit does is get out of survival mode, where it drops this chain and anchor that it has carried for so long. The spirit becomes indifferent to what it held close to its heart, as in what was important to it.


What insanity done to the sane was create a sense of hopelessness. But the spirit endures, as what else is there to do, but deep within our hopelessness prevails. All we wish for is that a wrong may be made right so that peace may be met and felt. This never happens, as the spirit has been caught in a downward spiral as we drift further and further from Harmony, where there is a natural order and balance.


All we want, more than anything, is to make things right.


But make things right according to what?

According to justice and equality and fairness so that we may live in harmony and peace. This answer is absolute rubbish, as to make things right means to dwell in the persona that we are not. Don’t try and clean up the mud, rather go back to what you are, this sphere of Goodness that is impartial to the worlds around it. This state elevates you out the mud.

“Yes Steven, but they need to understand; I need to tell them how they have stuffed up so they may understand what they are doing to others and themselves.”

Action speaks louder than words and thoughts, so show them what you are, and in this state you are indifferent to all. It all goes back to basics. Allow your spirit to remember what it was before it was given an identity, and then allow it to be this state. What this means, is the personality that you and I are needs to be thrown to the wind, as in lost forever, as all this is, is a computer simulation that we believe to be real. Turn the game off and allow the spirit to recall what it was, and then the spirit returns to this state. By the spirit and us the body form understanding our new roles, this switching off of the computer simulation and turning on of what was will unfold as it should. Now we spiral to where we belong, which means we are what we originally were. The insanity of the illusion touched Semiramis, but believe you me that even in this state, there was this Love within her that created us, as more than anything, she wanted only the best for the Serpent spirits and souls. We the spirit were created through the Love that was within an insane Creator.


I would say that this Game truly ends when Semiramis sees in us what she originally created. At that moment the penny will drop as she sees the Love that we are that she formed through the Love within her that she is.

It is to this state of Love that my spirit will now walk so that this Game may come to an end.

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Went to a vaccine injury support group site a while back offering my services to see if I could help those that have been maimed from the covid shot.

This one lady replied, where she allowed me to enter her space to see if I could assist. What was immediately felt was an invasion of her spirit. What they inject into you is to take over the spirit of the biological computer body form. The attack and invasion is not on the piece of meat, but rather on the spirit that is within the body form.

What is remarkable to feel is the formation of the brain of this entity that they injected into the sucker victim. On the left side of the “brain” of the spirit there forms a mini brain, about the size of a large coin, and this is the brain of the alien that now resides within the spirit and body form.


So what is the purpose of this new resident within the spirit, which has a knock-on effect on the body form?


Last night in my sleep state I was shown a group of people walking. Then I saw this frequency wave been sent to them, and when this wave went through them these people were no longer under their own cognitive state.

What happens when this frequency is transmitted upon the population, is the frequency/instruction is sent to the alien entity within the spirit, and now the alien within is in charge and not the spirit. If the instruction is to steer the spirit and body form off a cliff, then as an outsider you will see people walking over a cliff face to be splattered on the ground far below, and with no resistance from the victims. A society of robots is made, with the robot been controlled by the alien resident within the spirit. You will own nothing and love it because you are nothing, as within your spirit is an entity that calls the shots.


And why is all of this so? – For energy, to harness the energy from the spirit. The spirit has been upgraded to be a more effective bleeder of energy, and this I believe is the big picture, where those in the shadows of the spirit realm can effortlessly harness the energy of the spirit with no resistance from the spirit as the spirit is no longer in control of itself, where another within it is calling the shots.

I would go even further and say the attack is not only for an upgrade to the energy grid of those from the shadows, but is also there to win the war against the Serpent souls within that resist the move to the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. If you are bad, then you don’t want to be reminded of what you are by seeing the Goodness in another – this state of what you should be.


The covid shot has been to literally inject an alien form into our body, where this alien frequency sets up shop within the spirit. Now there is an alien residing in the spirit. Instructions are pulsed to this alien to follow specific commands, where the spirit is under the hive mind mentality of those sending the pulsed frequency. As one, the spirits now comply, always under the control of the alien within.

Why this is done is so that there is no resistance from the body and spirit form. No more personal thoughts; no more freedom; no more secrets; no more individual identity. Now we are all one – one robotic army that emits their energy to those from the shadows. But I stress that mind and spirit control has been around for thousands of years. The difference now is the attack on the Serpent soul within, what many call this kundalini force. With the spirit deemed helpless, these Snakes of Innocence will be taken over and destroyed by this Serpent/Reptilian force that took over when things within the illusionary Garden began to go pear-shaped.


What this covid shot is, is an attack on Goodness, on the body, spirit and Serpent souls, where this trio will become robots – helpless to those that control and feed from them.


As per usual, yesterday was touched by the insanity of those around me. The natural response is to prepare a speech within your mind so you may counter what comes your way by you telling these idiots off as they cannot see how insane they are. The trick is not to make this speech your own, where you let it go, as this is not you. Remember, the essence from the heart field flows to the throat, and from there to the head, and then the top of the head bursts forth where you are connected to all. There can be no intrusion or interference in this flow, so when you hear the speeches begin to form within you, understand that they are not you, what they are is the reflex response of the biological computer to an outside stimuli. You get cold, you put on a jacket. Others upset you, you get emotionally charged up. Don’t worry about these neural responses as they will be there, but don’t grab onto them and make them your own where they are now an integral part of your existence.

At all times keep the channel open. To what we are connecting to I cannot say, as it is bigger than you and I – this state of what the spirit originally was when it was created through the Love of Semiramis. This connection we have to make before we all forget ourselves from this alien takeover that is happening as we speak.


To those silly fuckers that willingly partook in our demise: You and those you love will also be shuffled into the herd with your fellow species and spirits. You see, it is one small club, this upper Reptilian/Serpent hybrid that rules over the worlds within the illusion, and you aint in it.

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For some time now I have known there is a control device of sorts embedded within the left forearm of the spirit. This afternoon had a first-hand experience of what is going on there, and it is something that I found most interesting.


When we take things to heart, as in something getting us down, we literally take it to heart and weigh down/block the heart energy field.

Let’s say you hear of something that upsets you, as in something that is not right, and this something will directly affect you and your loved ones. Now you start thinking about it, where it tolls over and over in your mind. What upsets you is close to your heart, as in important to you that it should not be, and as this incident or event is close to you, what happens is you draw this frequency that is out there within the illusion close to you. This frequency is collected within the spirits left forearm, and from there it takes a form, which is often a Serpent. From there this frequency settles within your spirit, and it stays there, meaning that what got you down initially that you tolled about is now a part of you. What you took to heart now becomes you lot, as in your bad luck, as it re-occurs over and over in your life – something you just cannot shake off.


For some time I have called the left shoulder the Seat of Satan, and in when there is a disharmonious frequency/entity within your spirit that is there to aggravate and bugger you around, these entities settle on the left shoulder of the spirit. What I never knew was these entities were drawn into our form through us thinking about things over and over until we draw that literal frequency into our existence.


What I thought/tolled about today which really got me down, I felt that frequency being drawn into my left forearm, and from there I felt the Serpent move up to my left shoulder and the surrounding area. This entity within you now creates a heaviness of heart as this entity becomes trapped within our forms.


What I am trying to say in simple English is we cannot prepare speeches in our mind, where we cannot wait to tell them to the offending recipient.

How this task is done, where we don’t have to think, explains the concept of spontaneity, where we don’t think but rather live from the heart, but it all comes down to raw faith that we are looked after and will be taken care of. With your heart energy field open and flowing as it should, let go and trust in the Divine. It is taking a calculated leap of faith, where you are doing your part and the heart energy field within is doing its part.


I remember the spirit of my dog Jessie telling an Animal Communicator that I have a heaviness of heart, and how true she was, because I took everything to heart – tolling/thinking about the injustices out there. Eventually we weigh ourselves down by not allowing what rightfully should be ours into our existence.


There is no way around this one: NO SPEECHES ARE ALLOWED TO TAKE PLACE WITHIN YOU, where you think about something over and over again. Live in the silence of the heart energy field and things will unfold as they should.

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