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Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

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During my sleep state last night I felt our natural power rise within me. It was a force that one cannot describe – something beyond the illusion and what we know, and yet it is the most simplistic and natural state there is. As I was experiencing these unchartered waters I saw these beings from a different realm above my body as I lay in bed sleeping. They were working on my wife, and then they came to me. A female looking entity looked down on me, and then she proceeded to implant energy sapping white worms into my face.

The leader of this group was a brute – an other-worldly Warlock creature. When this bitch-witch was done putting me back in my place by suppressing me, this Warlock signaled with his arm for them to move on. He had a flying device on which he rode.


So why do they do that? Why would they continue to imprison us and themselves? Why would they choose Hell over Home? Why choose prison over freedom?

The answer is that we have all forgotten what freedom is. Below is an extract from the journal that was written a few years ago. I give Watson ten out of ten for his profound truth.




I would just like to highlight the inherent uncertainty in all of us to truly comprehend what freedom is, be it in the “physical” world or the spiritual. We do not know what freedom is because we have never experienced it. The only “freedom” we know of are lies in our belief systems, which by all accounts, are flawed at their core foundation. Beliefs are “them versus us.” Beliefs make us feel safe and define us. And yet in the space of the Infinite, there is no such thing as a belief. There is only Love, nothing else.


Not being able to comprehend freedom can best be illustrated in an article written by Paul Joseph Watson which I found on Alex Jones’ Prison Planet website.


The title of the report was: “Can a slave ever truly understand freedom?”

The article tells the account of Shin Dong-hyuk, who is the only person to have ever escaped from a North Korean death camp and lived to tell the tale.

He was born inside Kaechon internment camp (Camp #14) and remained there for over 22 years, witnessing the public execution of his mother and brother, suffering torture, beatings, near starvation and all manner of cruel and inhumane punishment.


Dong-hyuk chillingly describes how he felt no emotion whatsoever at seeing his mother hanged and his brother shot as a result of him informing on them after he overheard the two discussing an escape plot. Watson says that this emphasizes how the unremitting indoctrination and brutality of the state, in its most savage form, even has the power to obliterate the ability to embrace the innate concepts of family and love.


Dong-hyuk explains how an old man with whom he shared a cell saved his life by tending to his wounds after a barbarous torture session at the hands of camp guards.

“I was 14 and the first time in my life I got human affection….I had never felt before those human beings could be social animals,” said Dong-hyuk, adding that he never experienced such feelings outside the camp.


However, the most incredible aspect to Dong-hyuk’s story is that he actually wants to return to the prison camp in which he was born because he preferred his simple existence there in comparison to life in ultra-modern South Korea.


“I would like to return to North Korea – my home – to a labor camp for prisoners….I want to live at the camp where I was born,” said Dong-hyuk, adding that he preferred the suffering of beatings and starvation over the suffering of not having enough money in South Korea.


Noting that he rarely ever saw anyone commit suicide in the camp yet saw stories on the news every night about South Koreans killing themselves, Dong-hyuk said he missed life in the camp.


As Paul Joseph Watson correctly points out: “Dong-hyuk’s story serves to illustrate a chilling proposition – can someone who has only ever known slavery ever yearn for or even understand the concept of freedom?

Can the “lack of concern” that Dong-hyuk describes be translated into a contemporary context, with billions of people content to remain imprisoned within their own self-imposed jail cells for fear of stepping outside their comfort zone and exercising their freedoms?””


In looking for the article above, I came across another article that was placed in the journal. I list it below for those traitors that have sold out their own species, namely the Human race, and have made pacts with other species, but above all, the message is for those brutes from the shadows who have forgotten kindness – kindness to themselves and others.



“I read an article written by V. Susan Ferguson on the Waking Times internet site. The heading of the article was: “Researcher links AI [Artificial Intelligence], Geoengineering, Smart Dust and Morgellons to ET’s [Extra Terrestrials or Aliens.]” The researcher in question was Harald Kautz-Vella.

In the article Harald Kautz-Vella says, “Most of the people in the world are wrong when they think that AI is something that we [meaning humans on earth] have developed. True to some extent. But there is a second type of AI that is much older and not of terrestrial origin that we are facing. Hard to prove, but it looks like the AI we are working on is seeded by these original extraterrestrial AI.”

Harald Kautz-Vella says that by extracting light from our DNA, Morgellon’s [disease] lowers the scalar potential of the DNA. “They are flattening us down, lowering ‘our vibration’, extracting energy. Sucking out what one could call the life force. …This could be one aspect of the aluminum-connection to Alzheimer and dementia. …This is beyond any known concept of mind control.”

Harald Kautz-Vella “wants the intelligence community to know they have been fooled. They believe they are controlling this, but they are not. Apparently the deceased man [a whistleblower who linked smart dust to alien technology] was suffering because of the misuse of this technology and is very concerned, admitting that the ETs had lied to them. This is exactly what I have felt and known for around 30 years now. The technology that the ETs gave our governments is a Trojan Horse designed to invade, infest, poison, and conquer our planet.”


This is Harald Kautz-Vellas solution to the dire predicament that humanity faces, and I could not have said it better:

“The information is out there, but it’s just fucking information doesn’t change a thing. What does change things is in Spirit. The only thing left for me [Harald] to do is take on the quality of change that is possible for me. Our egos are part of the Matrix system. Our egos are the thing that is keeping up the separation. It is keeping us from feeling the pain we cause. The core problem now is to dissemble our [small-identity] selves. Every single person on the planet will have to do this alone, it is nothing to be lectured about. It is something that needs to be done! Every single person needs to do this out of his own Will, out of his own power, from the Being side, not from the ego side. The first step is to get ourselves back into empathy and seeing what we have caused. Become what we were before… You have to rescue yourself!””

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How is it that we are so docile? What makes our survival so torturous?

That we were given the gift of a good heart to look after the Serpent soul within I know for certain. Now I am going to throw the dice – go on chance. I would say they took away our power and made us docile by taking away our gift. If this is so, then through understanding, a wrong is made right and our gift is returned to us now.

Now we all have free will. Now we are all on a blank slate, where we can do as we please. Embrace the Love/gift of a God, or carry on painting the town red where anything goes.


That they took away our gift is the only thing that makes sense to me as to why we are helpless. This removal of what was rightfully ours allowed despicable Beasts to rule over us. If what I say is the truth, may the return of our gift mark the end of our slavery. So be it.



It is debatable as to whether our gift was taken from us or we forgot about it. I would say it was taken so that we may forget who and what we are, but am open to being wrong.


Yesterday went to treat three horses. They were in a state – severe muscle spasms and numerous joint restrictions. These three I have seen before many times, and what was interesting yesterday was that my approach in healing them was a first – instead of treating their body and spirit, I healed the disharmonious frequencies around them that were affecting these horses in a bad way.


Hold up your left hand and that represents Harmony. Your right hand represents Disharmony. Now intertwine the fingers of your left and right hand and that unison represents Life with its good and bad. We have learnt to take the good with the bad as that is what Life is all about – giving and taking; positive and negative; up and down; ying and yang, and so on it goes.

But this has all changed now. Pull your fingers apart so that they now no longer intertwine and each hand is separate from the other. Now the Harmonious and Disharmonious frequencies of the illusion are two separate entities. They now see each other and know of each other. In treating those horses yesterday all I done was remove the Disharmonious frequencies from their presence. As an example, when I stood there talking to the owner I smelt the frequency of alcohol. Two stands up people had moved in whose life revolved around drinking alcohol. This Disharmonious frequency was one of the many that affected the horses and all within the area. As has been said, the difference now is that Disharmony has withdrawn from its intertwined presence with Harmony and is now standing alone. As I type these words I smell this Disharmony and it pongs bad.


We have always looked to ourselves for a way out of this mess, but now look without. Know what is staring you in the face now – know this frequency of Disharmony and then release it so that it may no longer be within your existence.


Two nights back my spirit was taken for moments within different frequencies/worlds of the illusion. At each location there was happiness.

Last night I woke up and saw these entities from a different realm moving with a purpose, and what I mean by this is it felt as if they were no longer wandering but going to a place where they belong.


During these times my advice is look to yourself. I told my wife yesterday that people look at Steven and what they see makes them jealous. How can they be jealous of me when they do not know me? Do they know of my pain within, or of my sorrow? How can we define others when we know nothing about them except our preconceived ideas?

There is a shift happening within the illusion, and what this calls for is for us to look towards ourselves. Clear the Disharmony that is without and express your gift that is within.

I feel that the spirit realm knows enough now, where we may walk back to who and what we are and where we belong. Be sure of yourself. Know yourself.

9th July, 2022

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We accepted our place within the smog – the uncertainty and calamities within the illusion. This was home, where it’s tough, but we will pull through and make the best of it. On this platform of hope and determination we strived to make the most of what we had.


Unfortunately we never saw the big picture – what dwells from the shadows that rules over us; the weakness of the spirit; the insanity of those who were meant to look after us, both in the seen and unseen realms.


Over the last few nights I see those that come from the shadows that wish to understand. The glutton comes, who has everything and then some – who can’t understand why all this abundance/excess does not fulfill them with a peace.

I see the insane who have lost all touch with who they are.

I see the mess of the spirit realm as those spirits cannot understand why there is no utopia and everlasting peace in this less dense realm.


While we within the worlds of the illusion strive for happiness and prosperity, we do not understand that we are building a future in a place where we don’t belong, so our building blocks will never amount to anything as our dreams are guaranteed to disappear within the mist of the illusion.

On this planet the warped individuals that steer the existence of the species see the many as “useless feeders.” Sadly, this is the truth, but instead of finding the Truth to give all a fighting chance out of their dire predicament, they feel the only solution is to cull and control the masses. Silly.

What this journal has done is to unravel the Truth so that the truth may set us free. Replace the word “truth” with Love and you will understand what I am talking about. Love is our natural state, and when you expose this truth/Love that we have forgotten, then all else falls away and Life unfolds as it should.

In peeling away the layers to expose the truth, what I found interesting at the very last layer was the absence of energy/strength on the spirits left arm, to the point where the arm was useless – literally. So while we are useless feeders, with me standing first in line, we need to understand that this state was merely an expression of where we were in our demise to totally forgetting who and what we are, namely this strand of Godness within us that arose from the fields of Infinite Love.


It was last week, or sometime around then, that I checked in on this lady who I have helped in the past, but this help was not up to my standard as there was something I was missing. What I found on her was that Life had dealt her the wrong hand, in that where she was and what she was doing was not for her. This package was removed from her space and replaced with the appropriate one.

Yesterday she asked me to check on her as she felt something was underlying in her life but did not know what it was. I picked up nothing, as in no Disharmony, but did confirm her speculation that something was there. What this was, was Goodness coming her way.

For me, this was a first, where there was no need to eradicate Disharmony, but rather anticipate the Love that was on its way.


Please understand that I am not now waiting and hoping, as what comes is irrelevant to me in that when Goodness shows itself it will not be a surprise to me, as this state is normal. This is nothing to cheer about when we are what we are as this is a natural state and not a special one. What will change in me, however, will be that I can now rest as those that can help are now in a position to do so and are too expressing their natural state.


May all this shit come to an end – we have survived within the cesspool for too long, and me, for one, has had enough.

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Within the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis there was a stir, a movement that was unknown to all. This stir was born within the fields of Infinite Love, where a question was asked. This question by the Serpent and Dragon spirits was “what else is there in this illusionary Garden?” This curiosity took on a form/frequency within the illusionary Garden – what I call the parasitic frequency of Deception. A want was born within those that remained within the Garden, and as this want grew it became a take, to where you have to have at all costs. (What I find interesting, and it was just per chance, that the opening scene in one of the Lord of the Ring movies was Smeagol holding up a worm to bait on his fish hook. When the ring is found at the bottom of the river, the frequency of the ring changes Smeagol to Gollum – a savage Beast. This is what happened initially in the illusionary Garden of Semiramis and has followed through to this day, where the Godness/Goodness within us is shadowed by the parasitic frequency of Deceptions want. We didn’t know why this crave is always within us to have, but now we do – the want is not our want, but rather the want of the parasite within.)


This parasite was a real party-pooper, where it destroyed the good intention of Queen Semiramis to offer the Dragon and Serpent spirits as beautiful a place as The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created within a field of the Infinite. Had there been no curiosity, the Dragons and Serpents would have entered and left the Garden as they pleased to return to the Infinite whenever they chose. The bugger-up came as the take and want of the parasite within those it permeated made for two states within, namely the natural Harmony/Love as well as Disharmony, where it’s about me, me and me. The ego was born, where as long as I am okay then I am okay, and this went against everything that the Infinite and the children that played therein were. Now the Garden became a bubble – an isolated entity separate from the Infinite, and with each catastrophic fall of Life within the illusion our new home became denser and denser, meaning we lost touch with who and what we are and from where we belong.


All that was left of the Love of a Creator within us was a speck of light, what I call the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness. This light soon became forgotten as we battled to survive from day to day. Now the parasite within was what mattered, where we had to feed this insatiable desire to always have, be it food, money, or even peace within.


What one needs to do is to know yourself. Within you are two phenomena: the one is the presence of Infinite Love, and the other is the presence of the illusion.

So you be you – this strand within. From there recognize the presence of the illusion. The core foundation of the illusion became uncertainty, and another word for uncertainty is fear. So before you can be you, one needs to eliminate fear from our existence, and how this is done is by knowing of the strand within, and then embracing fear and making it your own. When I go into the presence of others to heal, and I feel these Beasts within them, I have no fear as I know this strand is real and everything else is an illusion, so no matter what, I will be okay. That is for helping others, but to help myself we get closer to home and it is an entirely different scenario. My underlying fear is the illusion, as with all of us – I am just more acutely aware that I am a fish out of water here – I don’t belong, as this place is not Home.

On a personal basis there is something else I am fearful of, and the other day when this particular fear frequency presented itself, I embraced it, and when I did, I understood that I am okay and there is nothing to be afraid of. What embracing fear does is it separates you more and more from the illusion. Now you can see the big picture for what it’s worth – it terms of what you are and where you find yourself.


Last night as I lay in bed I made an observation that was a first for me. At that moment I understood that we are in Hell. What started out as a beautiful illusionary Garden became a living Hell of survival. So what I done as I lay in bed last night was I made the sign of the Beast with my hands to draw the illusion/Hell closer to me where it became my own. What I was doing was making the illusion see itself and know itself. The light of the strand became a reflection to the illusion, where by looking into the strand it saw its true self and what it had now become.

You think Steven is a dreamer by transforming the illusion to a state of bliss as it becomes infused by Infinite Love until all that is left is Infinite Love? If you think that I am a wishful-thinking dreamer then you do not know what you are – you; the strand of Godness within is real, and the illusion is just that, an illusion. We have come to see it as real, and thus with our beliefs what we see is all there is.

Can one person with their spirit and Serpent soul within change the worlds within the illusion and the illusion itself? I cannot change anybody as I have no right to do so as it is their Life and not mine. What I can do is pass on understanding, and what this understanding is, is a representation of what I have become. What this is, is I see the big picture as to what happened that we ended up in a place where we don’t belong.


Am I at peace now? Am I happy? Am I content?

As I embraced the illusion for about two hours last night and shone my strand within it, what I eventually saw was a living grey wall sinking down. When I saw this I thought the colour grey was most appropriate as all the joy and beauty was taken out of the Garden that Semiramis created. In that greyness we all exist.

One night a few years back my spirit travelled to another world. There was nothing left there – the parasite had taken all. This is what will eventually become of all within the illusion.

A few weeks back I was driving somewhere in the car with my family. Along the side of the busy road was a stray dog. One could see it was still a puppy. Hungry and lost and fearful, it was just a matter of time – as in hours – before it met its demise. Trying to rescue the dog didn’t help as it moved towards the busy road to get away from us. Seeing that animal in that state shook every fibre of my body, spirit and soul. Empathy towards this dog was at play, but deep down I knew the fate of this dog would eventually befall all of us as we move further and further away from what we are and where we belong.

You can have everything, and guaranteed, you will still fall. I say this because I have been to a world within the illusion where the takers eventually become taken by the parasite. We implode; we self-destruct as we lose ourselves trying to find our home in a place where we don’t belong. Eventually we all will fall – none are immune to the want within.


So am I content – at peace?

As I sit here writing these words I feel like a snowball in Hell. I am fearful because I stand alone in a place where I don’t belong.

I have said it before, and I still stand with what I said, that we need help. When we fell, those that could have helped fell with us to be with us. The dense ways of the illusion soon betrayed or took them over, and before they knew it, we were all in this mess together. A Creator and Gods and Titans forgot the story of what happened at the very beginning that we got into this mess, so they half accepted their lot, hoping for the best.

What this journal done was show the picture to all so that they may remember what they are, so that they may awaken from their despair to return to what they were.


Am I happy? – No.

Am I fearful? – Yes.

I need help from those that can help. We all do.

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The problem Steven has is his work is in the spirit realm, and yet he also exists in this physical realm. You want to make changes in the body form, well target the spirit and the spirit realm so they may look after the biological piece of meat called the body form.

From the spirit realm understand that we are all in this mess together, so me looking after me will not work in the long term. Also understand that the utopia of the spirit realm, compared to our physical realm, is a place of wonder, yet it is an illusionary trap where we are made to believe that this is all there is. Never will I forget what I was shown when I saw my moms spirit entering her spirits home. What I saw was a six dimensional place, with no up or down and no beginning or end. It was beautiful beyond, and yet it was not real, but the biggest dilemma of all was that this place was controlled by those from the shadows – lost, cruel, insane Beasts.

Something has been terribly amiss for thousands of years and we have been too naïve, and I would say fearful, to ask basic questions. Why is there suffering, as any form of suffering to the innocent is unnecessary? Why two extremes – the hell/war zone of the physical, and from there to the angelic peace of the spirit realm? Why not a balanced medium between the two? Why are we regressing, especially in terms of integrity and respect, instead of progressing? Why is Life within the physical realms so bloody difficult and fruitless, where we work and do our best and end up with nothing – not being even able to look after ourselves with dignity?


Nobody has the answer to these questions, so they are not asked, just as nobody had the answer to my question when I asked why is Life so cruel. I had to walk through a door to understand that one, and boy, was what was beyond that door a shocker, yet it all made simple, basic common sense.

To ask such questions one had to see beyond yourself, where the strife of others is your strife – if not today or tomorrow, but our time will come. You see, evil has no friends – it’s everyone for themselves and nobody for another. This is the way we liked it, where we make sure we are okay and are left alone.


I have done everything I can to pass on understanding to all within the spirit realm. It has never been about me, but rather we, because I understood that I could never be happy unless others are happy. We all need an equal footing; an equal opportunity to understand our dilemma and know what can be done about it. This I have done for others, and now it comes back to me, because I need help. The big picture has been seen to, now Steven needs to be seen to. The understandings that have been passed on to the spirit realm have united many, and many have transformed and are eternally grateful, and I say this because I see them come to me during my sleep state to give thanks.

What I have done over the eight plus years is understand why Life is cruel so that Life may not regress as it always has. Somebody had to stop the runaway train. Others have been helped so that we may start returning to our real Home. Now I need help. I know it will come. It is just that by understanding the illusion I can palpably touch the Disharmony around me. This is becoming too much for me. I cannot live in this state much longer. I need help from those that I have helped. The we in the spirit realm need to help me.

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So what has been my job over the last eight years and almost six months? It has been to understand why Life is cruel. Some truths are too awful to comprehend, so they are best swept under the rug and forgotten about, or better still, we avoid peeking through that door to what controls and rules over us.

We were goners anyway, leading a fools life where nothing made sense, so I decided to walk to where only the cruel and insane dwell. The opening of my Third Eye allowed me to see and understand the other side of the spirit realm that few have seen or spoken about – the place where Beasts dwell, and these Beasts were our masters. What I found interesting was that the cruel became crueler, and the mad became insane. This was a place of no conscience or consideration to others – it was a free for all where anything goes, and the only thing that kept these Beasts going was that everyone was doing what they were doing, so it must be okay. Now these vile monsters had the freedom to do and receive what they wish, with no consequence, as there was no God to show them what was right or wrong. Sophia was experiencing the density and slavery of the illusion as she remained to be with those within this Hell, and Semiramis was doing her best with damage control in her insane state.


How did we lose our empathy and consideration towards others? How did our inherent societal morality get so easily thrown out the window? The simple answer for me is that we became so despondent we stopped caring. We gave away what it means to be kind because we stopped caring about ourselves, and this detached us from the Love of God that was within us. When the pure Love of Semiramis turned into a twisted Love so did we and our outlook on all of Life. From then nothing would be straight forward and innocent and pure. Now there would be an agenda, as in what can I get out of you to help myself. The concept of neighbourliness died a sudden death, where the question of “are you okay?” was replaced by “you don’t exist! Am I okay?”


As with this morning, and throughout the day, whenever I can, my job involves sitting in a chair with my eyes closed and connecting to Semiramis and Sophia and other players who can swing the illusion upside down until it is no more. I go into their space and I feel what they are feeling, so if there is a transformation in them, I will feel it. All that I do as I sit in my silence is project Love and understanding to them. This has been a slow and tedious operation, as what I knew of today I never knew existed yesterday. As so it went, over the years, peeling away the layers until the core is found, all the while receiving attacks from those from the seen and unseen realms. The cosmic assassins and the Serpents attacks have been brutal, but never came close to the way my fellow species treated me. What rubbish and filth we have become, treating our fellow species with such barbarity. We are monsters, far worse than those scum that ruled over us.   


They say that a problem cannot be solved by the same level of intelligence that created the problem, but take that concept one further to understand that the illusion cannot be solved by those within the illusion.

So this morning when I went into the space of those that can transform the illusion, what I felt was them depart the illusion for the fields of Infinite Love. It felt like a basin full of water as it poured down into the drain, as in their presence flowed downwards from my head to my pelvic area. Before I felt this, I felt the parasitic frequency of Deception at the corner of the left side of the mouth as it disappeared from them. How I knew these beings of Love were within the fields of Infinite Love, was I felt the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness at my throat area come alive, meaning they were Home and one with the All.


What does this mean for all of us? I don’t know, but I can tell you what I am anticipating. When I feel a shift, as in something way off the ordinary and expected during my waking state, then I know that those that can help are helping from the Infinite and we are experiencing their presence. When you feel this presence, stand strong in who and what you are, where you are pure of heart, meaning you only want the best for yourself and others. Charity begins at home, otherwise there is no hope of it ever touching another. If you cannot look after yourself then you cannot help another, but in terms of the big picture, there is more to this statement.

You want to set a bird free from its cage, then first make sure the forest it is flying into is not on fire. To set the bird free, first set the illusion free so that the bird may take flight and not get burnt around the first corner. This concept I understood yesterday, where I realized that to help others one needs to help the illusion first, otherwise their first step out the front door will push them right back into their confined dwelling.  So in order to help yourself, one first and foremost has to help everyone else by allowing them to understand what happened that they are in Hell. Now we all have a fighting chance to help ourselves as we understand the environment of the illusion as well as who and what we are.


One final thought: It was never about you the biological body form or your spirit – it was always about the Serpent soul within. As has been said a few times already in the journal, the image that captured a thousand words was of one night in my sleep state being shown a G.I. Joe – a general infantry soldier walking in his green camouflage gear with his helmet on and holding his rifle. From this mans’ chest projected a Serpent.


The war; the Game; the agenda; the System was never about me or you or our spirits. It was between the Serpent souls – the “children” of Queen Semiramis. We the spirit and body form were merely the vehicle to these Serpents within. Our gift of a good heart would have protected the soul within, as well as the spirit and body form, but we fell foul to temptation. We become just outright nasty, and for that there is no excuse.


With Semiramis within the Infinite she will recall her children. What happens to you and me and our spirits time will tell. Between now and then let’s move from disrespect, callousness and savagery to a more refined being, where we once again learn to respect others because we respect ourselves.


The way of the Beast will come to an end.  

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The secret to Life is communication. When one talks, to find a favourable solution to all, the answers reveal themselves.

The other day I was talking to my wife about the places we have stayed in. With love, a house can easily become a home, and that was always my intent, to make for myself a place that was more than just a dwelling. This task has never been accomplished, and in discussing the matter with my wife, the answer as to why I always failed miserably revealed itself.

Never have I been able to drive home and say that I cannot wait to get home. Never have I been in a position to lay my head on the pillow to sleep, where I am able to sleep in peace. The reason for this has been the people who have lived around us, regardless of where we stayed. When I lived with my parents the disharmony came from within the walls, where there was never a closeness and family bond. When I flew out the nest, it was the people who stayed around me who were inconsiderate. The best day of the week was Monday, as from Monday to Thursday it was work, so people had to get in bed early. On weekends the sound systems volumes were cranked up, regardless of the proximity of the neighbours and the community at large. This was not a cultural phenomenon, where some cultures think best when they are surrounded by noise. Nor is this vice of blaring music/noise a class thing, as the rich and the poor are equally to blame. What the cause of the problem is, is a lack of respect – for those around you, and this stems from a lack of respect for yourself.


Last night in my sleep state a dream was implanted, but this dream was different – it was not to draw energy, but rather to make my spirit understand. My spirit began to give attention to the dream, as in follow the dream/story, but then my spirit became irritable, and it shook off this dream as it understood that there was nothing to learn or do. From there my spirit lay down and relaxed, where it could just be itself.


The other day I told my wife that the big gap in her life and mine was a lack of friends. We don’t have any friends, and our families are just plain useless. This lack of friendship is through no part of ours, as we look and keep the door open, but people are just too caught up in their own lives to sit around a table and ask another “how are you?” We are not looking for a counselor or someone to pack our problems on – we merely seek to find others who are as glad to see us as we are them. This has not happened, and I have given up the quest to find a friend a long time ago.

When the spirit understood last night that it does not have to always do, where it can just be, what happened was the walls we built around us came a tumbling down. When you do, as in a task, or have something to learn, it is you doing. Others are now also doing, but others don’t do as you do, and some don’t do as all. In no time, there is division and separation, where this is the way I do things, as others don’t have a clue.

Where there was once one, now there are many, and “one” as in one good heart that all have.


This is why we are all a solemn bunch, sticking to ourselves rather than embracing our own. My guess is our “do” principle came from our survival mode, where we have to do in order to survive in this strange place.

So last night as the spirit lay down to rest, where it understood that it does not have to do anything, where it may just be what it is, namely Love, my spirit then found itself in a small house that me and my wife had. It was a shitty place, but this did not bother me. My wife told me she had invited people over, and soon the people came. These were the neighbours from hell who I had the misfortune of meeting in my life – cruel, disgusting, horrible, scum people. When these people were sitting around me there was no animosity from my side towards them. The concept of emotion was no longer amongst us, and this was so because now there was a peace within as we understood we could now just be rather than always have to do.


The shift I was expecting, from those who were in a position to help and could now help, this shift came from within rather than without. The spirit of all within the illusion now understood that all they have to do is be what they are – which is Love.  This understanding, as well as this Love, once again made the spirits one.

How can evil exist or rule over those that are one? – It cannot, and besides, it would not want to, as it too now understands who and what it is.


What will come next? What I expect is an upgrade of the spirit.

How I have helped those who are now in a position to help us is to make them understand who and what they are and where they belong.  Through this understanding they may see themselves and then be themselves.

The strand of Godness at our throat areas is the spark within us from the Infinite. I cannot see mine, but I can see yours, and in seeing yours I see myself as we are now one. When the spirit sees this strand in another and becomes this strand, that is when the roof will be blown off the house.

May that day present itself.

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And of course the la-resistance came.


Went to sleep last night sending out a prayer that more than anything I wish to be Home amongst my own.

Fell asleep and the fool-proof dream was implanted – of me sitting my exams and not knowing the answers, and understanding that I was going to fail. Woke up from the dream to see the one who had implanted it. This creature looked like a wooden rocking horse – it was made of wood and was hollow inside. Of course it was made of matter that I cannot understand, but to me it looked like wood. This twisted, creepy-looking shit tapped me with its one hoof. “Uh-uh Steven! Bad boy! Don’t even think of going walkabout.” From there this creature entered my forms and I felt this heat at the back of my shoulder blades.

I turned in bed to lie on my back and all I could do was just be.


If you ever wondered why the illusion has been around for so long; why we have never taken the life-buoy that was thrown our way, it is because we like it here.

The poster-boy of twisted insanity must have been Jeffrey Epstein himself, where at the height of his abuse of the innocent he remarked that “he is comfortable in his own skin,” meaning that he was at peace, as well as content, with what he had become.


Yesterday went to the shops at a nearby suburb, and what I found disturbing was the lifelessness of the people around me. There was nothing within them, as in no depth; no life; no innocence; no natural beauty. It was as if Life itself sucked out the life within them and all that was left was an empty shell. Wasted spaces.

And then of course there is Steven – pretty much a useless entity as well. One who has never been able to find balance in his life, where he writes to understand the illusion to avoid the destruction that so many have already faced and so many will, yet this Steven cannot even look after his own family or himself financially. A loser of note, and I am not feeling sorry for myself – merely stating a fact.


How will those that can now help, help us? How many want to be helped? – That is the big question one has to ask.

Do you now understand why I write a journal and not a book? It is because others are not interested in finding out why Life is so cruel. I write for me because others are not interested in what I have to say. Yet do they understand the depth of evil that controls them and those they love? The logical next step is to become what controls us, and so many of us have chosen this easy way. What fools, where you are now the Beast that made your life so miserable, and now you inflict on others what was born upon you.


I have said in the past that there will be a “wake-up-shake-up,” and I stand by what was said. There will be a shear; a shift, so that those that like it here may remain, and those that wish to go Home will do so. I say this because those that can help are in a position to do so, and I understand that many will cling to the merry-go-round with all their might, no matter how hard the parent tries to pull them away from it. To these, we leave them be.

There will be a shift; a crunch; a shearing, where the insane may be with their own, and those that wish to go Home may do so. My goodness, will they even be able to fill the life-raft – are there so few takers to wanting to go Home?


What I write about is what I see during my sleep state. I see the madness; the cruelty; the insanity of those that rule over us. And yet when I heal others I witness the simplistic power of Love. These two extremes in a helter-skelter illusion. The problem has been that no one ever took charge – there was never someone to sift the cruel from the kind, where each may go their own separate ways. May that happen in this day, where those that can help and are in a position to help, may they take charge and allow us to go where we wish to go.


The Beasts like it here. I don’t – I choose to go Home.

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You may not be aware of it, but there is a Dark side to everything, including yourself. As an example, when I imagine building a slide in my garden for children to play with and have fun on, in the next moment there is a thought of the children getting hurt in a cruel manner. These Dark thoughts are not mine, they are merely a manifestation of my proximity to what is not natural and real, namely the illusion. In other words, there is a shadow to all that is good and beautiful within the illusion, and this shadow/Darkness is there by default from where we find ourselves.

So there is good in you, as in the gift of your good heart and the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness, and there is also bad in you, as in the shadow/frequency of the illusion that is your constant companion. How much of this Darkness/cruelty you allowed into your existence determined your character and personality. Once again, remember that I am talking primarily about the spirit, but of course the nature of the spirit has a knock-on effect on the body form.


This shadow/Darkness was your constant companion, as there was never something bigger than us who had pureness of form to tell this nonsense to bugger off. Yesterday all of that changed, where the Darkness was removed within those that did not wish this frequency to be amongst them.

It has been written in the journal of the ayahausca ceremony I attended, where during the ceremony I saw two Serpents arise from the chest of the man lying next to me in the ceremony hall. These Snakes looked on at this man – their host – with complete love. What I witnessed was the Serpent soul of this man that was housed within his spirit. This Serpent soul is what some would call the kundalini force.

I could never understand why I saw two Serpents, as we had only one Snake/kundalini within us. Now I understand – the one Serpent was the Dark side, or shadow of the Serpent soul. From these two – the Good and the Bad – was a unity where they became one, what we would call our Life/existence. As has been said, there is Good and Bad in all of us – the strand, and the shadow/Darkness that is what the illusion became thanks to the parasitic frequency of Deception. What I never understood was the literal shadow that followed us and intertwined with us. There is two of you, not just the one that you know.


Yesterday evening I checked on the spirit of the house we stay in. How these spirits came to stay in places of residence I don’t know, but they are there. What I found was a clogged spirit, as in a heaviness that I have not felt before. By understanding what should not be, the shadow/Darkness of this spirit was removed and it could now we free of what the illusion replicated upon it.


So yesterday when the intent was placed to sift the cruel from the kind, I never understood the depth of what I was speaking about, where the cruelty within us that arose through our association with the illusion had to be removed first. With the shop been cleared up within, now it could get a facelift without.

From the beginning of the journal it has been stressed that there can never be a “them versus us,” where it is good against evil, or right from wrong, or left from right etc. This division and separation keeps the illusion intact because naturally we are all one.

So understand that by removing the Darkness from within us, we are merely removing what does not belong, and releasing it with Love to Love. We are returning to what we naturally are.

The other point to make regarding division and separation is exercising respect, where if others want to be cruel, then so be it. It is not for me or you to change what makes them happy. How their game has now changed is there are no more innocent to destroy, where these Beasts have to start playing against their own. Now they see themselves in the Darkness of the Beast staring at them, and at that moment they understand that all is lost for them – it always has been, they just needed a mirror to look into to see what they allowed themselves to become.


To first remove the Darkness of the illusion within us before the Darkness without can go its own way was something I never knew.

On a different note, I have seen many spiders on or around me lately. The ones around me had a presence that said “look Steven, take note.” The frequency/symbolism of the spider had something to tell me, so I turned to the book Animal Speak by Ted Andrews. The author says “ The spider in the Native American tradition is both grandmother and creator, a symbol of the ability to weave new energies into being.”

Over the years in being able to see the unseen in my sleep state, as far as I can remember I have only been shown one vision, namely how brother turned on brother and what was the cause of this to happen. Last night I had another vision. I was standing somewhere in nature and was holding a bucket of water. I stood against a wall, and I noticed the wall was beautifully made. Then I turned to the main focus of attention, which was a stream nearby. Then I walked towards the stream and poured my bucket of water into the stream. Before this was done, I lay down my shoulder bag on the floor, and was aware of handling the contents of the bag with care. Within the bag was a hive of bees – the innocent.


What this means to me is the presence of the Creator and her affiliates weaving the illusion apart. What this journal gives is understanding, and what understanding gives is free will. You want to be cruel, then that’s fine – go and play over there with your own. You want to be joyous and free – go and play there.

There is now no division and separation, only freedom of choice.


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“Energy is the currency of the universe. When you “pay” attention to something you buy that experience. So when you allow your consciousness to focus on someone or something that annoys you, you feed it your energy, and it reciprocates the experience of being annoyed. Be selective in your focus because your attention feeds the energy of it and keeps it alive, not just within you, but within the collective consciousness as well.” – Emily Maroutian


I cannot speak on behalf of others, so I will talk about what I have come to understand.


The God of the illusion is Queen Semiramis. Her love was once a pure Love, but the parasitic frequency of Deception got the better of her, and her Love became a twisted Love, where fleeting moments of joy and happiness end up hurting like hell.

There has never been someone to save us, and before you sit upright in your chair with your finger held out in exclamation to tell me that God has helped you, spare a thought for those who have suffered and continue to do so from the hands of evil. It is not only about me and you, but about everyone. It was the sorrow of the innocent that came to be seen as the norm that never allowed me to rest. What set in as standard was something I refused to accept as normal – that this is the way the cookie crumbles. Evil has always reigned supreme – because it could – and I knew that to go against it would only add fuel to the fire. One had to go and walk amongst the cruelest of the cruel to understand why they became like this – what happened at the very beginning that the pure Love of a God became twisted and cruel. This we understand, but the big question is where too from here?


Here within the illusion energy is the currency of the universe. What Emily never said was that this energy currency is rigged where the house always wins. When this journal began I was offered a limitless account from those from the shadow realm to walk away from my task to understand the cruelty of Life. “Walk away Steven, and you will receive whatever you want in all the realms.” They showed me the display of goods and technology from this world and beyond that were mine if I left things be. With all this abundance I would have found a level of peace, but always look at where you are – we are on a frequency that is self-destructing with each passing moment. Here today, gone tomorrow, where although Life is predictable and mundane, we are slowly sinking into our own demise. That is the insanity of those that controlled us – they steered themselves into the Nothingness of the Forgotten, where they forget of this strand/Love within them. They were plotting their own destruction and were not even aware of this. Hurt others, and guess what – you get hurt, because the frequency to send out remains with you. “Ah, yes Steven, but we are aligned to our God of cruelty and evil, so we are okay.” You are not okay. Nobody is okay, unless you become what you naturally are meant to be. Within you is a strand of Godness that arose from the Infinite, and with each passing moment peel away your illusionary forms until all that is left is you. Get off the frequency/illusion that is self-annihilating and taking you with it.


My advice is never sit and wait because Life and Love will pass you by. You be what you are, and the trick here is that you be. You play with energy that is the currency of the universe. This is what true magicians do, and I don’t know about you, but I would not like to be a magician. You decide what is important in your life and then you do something about it, all the while remembering the big picture that we are just passing through here on the way to Home. Please don’t become fixated with this place as we don’t belong here. Our world is so beautiful, and I would dearly like to see all of it before I depart this frequency, but under the surface there is so much suffering. At our core we are simplistic, good people, but we have been played by cruel Beasts. Playing survival-survival has never been fun at the best of times, especially with overlords wanting to destroy us just because they can.


So let’s get real in an unreal place and talk about money, which is a form of energy that is the currency of the universe. I don’t have any of this energy, and to be specific my bank balance has a constant medium of about US$20 to it over the years. The life of my fourteen year old car is coming to an end and I need money to buy a new one. For others, their predicament is far worse, where they need food and shelter to survive which they don’t have.

So yesterday evening while I was waiting for my daughter at her school, I went into the stillness of the silence, and from this place I brought forth the financial status of Steven to see what is going on. What I felt was this half dragon–half serpent resting on my breast bone. This thing was massive, and blocked the energy of money that was meant to come my way.

I am not being greedy or materialistic when I say that I need money – all I am asking is that what should come my way come my way without any hindrance from those from the shadows or any other realm. You have to know your worth and how this is done is by knowing what is important to you – what will give you peace and contentment in this reality. Remember your source, as in what you are, which is the strand of Goodness at your throat area. Any wants/wishes first and foremost pass through this strand on the way to becoming a reality for you.


The trick is to know what should be in your life, as in what is really important to you as this is you, and from there you go into the stillness of the silence to just be. When you are in this state of being, you enter the energy of the situation to see why what should be is not, as in me entering the frequency of my financial status last night.

For changes to happen, two requirements are necessary: The first is to lose your Dark side, and the second is what comes your way is understood to be for all and not just you – in other words, always open yourself up to help others that want help. My Dark side would have told the universe to take the money frequency and shove it up its arse as I do not wish to be associated with cruelty, but this attitude helps nobody, including myself.


When I heal others, I tell them that I am so thankful that I could have seen them to help, as modern medicine would have been useless. And yet on average I see one patient a week. That is absurd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I understand the big picture, where this journal is the priority, and there is not time to be busy healing as well as complete this journal, but your self-esteem sure takes a beating when you know what you can do and there are no takers to receive it. Not having a job in this realm is a bastard.

So as an example, what is important to me is to help others that want help. What is important to you that is not there, go into the stillness of the silence and enter the frequency of what is important to you so that it may enter your space. Remember, you play with energy that is the currency of the universe. You make things happen, otherwise nothing will happen.


If you don’t know what you want, then I will inform you. All you want, is to be happy, where the sun shines as it should and Life is unfolding as it should. This, more than anything, is my greatest want, and everything else that comes my way is superimposed by this want – where Life is what it is with no ulterior motive; where Life just be’s  because Life just is.


The Dragon spirits were born from the Source of the Infinite to play – to express the Love of the Infinite.

Let us also play with the energy that is the currency of the illusion while we are here, as our time here is short.



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It’s a bugger when things have to come to a head - when Life as we knew it can no longer be the same again. What we disliked and just half-accepted now has finality, where now the river takes two paths and it is farewell to what you knew. How many of those you love and care about will choose the other path – the one that will lead to Dark waters and self-destruction?

The problem with innocence is it has a double-edged sword, where the Dark side of innocence is naivety, which is another way of saying others are just plain stupid, as in not street-smart. They do not know what lurks within and without, and when you tell them, you are being callous and cruel, so you are the unreasonable one.


This is where the Divine has to intervene and show others what should be. I am not talking about perfection, where others have to be perfect in an imperfect world. I am talking about being what we are naturally meant to be. You see, there is not meant to be sorrow and hardship – this is unnatural. We are meant to be free from evil as evil has never meant to exist. Nobody within all the realms one day woke up and said “Let’s see what it will be like to be cruel to beings of pure Love.” This has never happened, because this has never been our natural state. The curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits within a field of the Infinite as to what else is there in this illusionary Garden of Semiramis took on a form within the Garden, and this form was a parasitic worm. This worm was never evil – it merely was what it was. It took, as this is all it knew and was. That this state of take infiltrated us and made us also want to take, where we were not aware of what was happening to us, this was the catastrophic destruction of the illusion that resulted in its failure before it even got started.

Through all of this awful nightmare many have done their best to survive and do their part to always be good and pure. What these innocent never knew was how the illusion got the better of them by them being in proximity to place that was unnatural and became rotten at its core. Tell a good person that always tries their best that within them lurks an evil/Dark shadow that is a representation of the illusion, and all you do is offend rather than assist.


I have always said we need Divine intervention, and I understand that it is now that we need it – to show the innocent what is within them and what they should be. If this does not happen there will be much heartache as each go down different paths. There is a path that leads to a place where you become Everything, and another path where you lose everything, including yourself. The innocent do  not have the capacity to know the difference between the two, and this is so because their innocence make them naïve to what is out there and what is within them that they have become.

Only God – a God of Love – can show them the big picture. And if this does not happen it will be the biggest disaster since before the beginning of time, because the innocent will find themselves in a place where the cruel choose to be, and these innocent will be mercilessly destroyed.


We need the presence of Divine intervention to avoid a catastrophe. Love needs to show itself to all in all realms, otherwise there will be too much sorrow for us to stay on the path Homeward bound.

I have never looked to help myself, rather my focus has always been to help those who can be in a position to one day help us. That day has arrived. I need their help.

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On 7/18/2022 at 8:10 AM, steven geldenhuys said:


Nobody has the answer to these questions, so they are not asked, just as nobody had the answer to my question when I asked why is Life so cruel.

You actually saw somebody trying to help you get out and you classed her as a witch bitch, don't do that, it's not polite but she did understand because you're trapped under a load of conscious dirt. That's the problem, you keep clinging onto old paradigms of control as if they are going to help you. They been captured and smashed. What you're holding onto is the power that used to control being deposed, going down, you are capable of seeing it. You wouldn't hold onto it if you saw what it is, you'd be "OMG that's disgusting, waah, GERRITOFFMEEEEE!" 🤮💩


All this stuff you are seeing is officially rejected occult material in The Astral. You're actually watching the Akashic Records being destroyed because I can see this as well. I know it's a hard one but stop being so negative. It's turned into biological faeces in The Astral. You don't want to cling onto that now do you?


You're stuck on the wrong side of it. I am a bit as well and it's not great I know but I've inverted it. Try asking people above for help with this. Don't go to the goddy thing, that was an illuminati mega powerful global mind control feature, which you're tranced into. Try this guy call Marcus, he was stuck in The God Robot and he's out of it now. Bradle him. 


Life's cruel and it absolutely shouldn't be. That's a product of religion. 

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When I first began to see the unseen in my sleep state, sometimes just before I went to sleep, or when I woke up in the morning, I would close my eyes, and with the nail side of my thumbs, I would gently press against my closed eyelids to see into the unknown. What I would always see, without fail, was the formation of a golden eye. Fragments of the silhouette of an eye would come together, forming a bright, larger than life eye, with blackness within the pupil of the eye, and this blackness was on the outside of the eye.

It was always a beautiful sight to beyond – this golden eye against this blackness within and around it.

From this golden eye it would change to a purple colour, and then this eye would become fuller, as in a Human eye, and then it would disappear.


We are talking a good eight years ago when this first happened, and let’s just say that as with then, now I still know nothing. What I said this eye was, was the All- Seeing eye, the eye that sees and knows everything. This is true to an extent, but the mistake I made was seeing this eye to have a negative connotation to it.


How further from the truth could I have been.


Yesterday was a bad day, where for the first time I was consciously aware of having to hold onto my sanity. Things have always been bad, as in there has never been a peace within me that I long for, but one pushes and keeps going until you are what you are, as being content and in a position to express love to all is our natural state. Eventually the load has to give and fall away that we push against, and it will, but yesterday the insanity of Life was a bit too much. Between sanity and insanity there is a grey area, where for me, the majority of us lie, and that place is where we lose our social skills, where there is a lack of consideration for all around us. Once again, I stand first in line. My wife has faults, and these faults are valid, as in I look for more from people with whom I spend my time with. I am not being petty when I criticize her, but yesterday I understood that I am being childish to always see her faults rather than the big picture. What this picture is, is that she is doing her best, and that best is remarkable. This Steven can talk about Love, but do I express it myself? I have never understood that this Love that is within me is bigger than the imperfections that are in all of us.


So yesterday I grew up, but having said that, I went to bed with a “I don’t know what more to do” predicament that disturbed me, because literally – I don’t know what more is there to understand. How can this Love that is so natural and simple and real be so hard to find, where we are what we are as there is nothing else?

This morning as I lay in bed I decided once again to press against my closed eyelids, and true to form the Eye once again appeared – it is always there.


How sad it is to look at something and you don’t know what you are looking at. When we don’t know, we assume, and now we are in dangerous waters as we know nothing in a place we are not meant to be in. As I said, it is a bugger-up when we know nothing; a real disaster.

This morning when I saw the Eye I understood that what was staring back at me was the Glow that the Infinite sent to bail us out from the Illusionary Garden. I have always asked for Divine intervention, as have trillions before me, and yet there it is, staring us in the face, waiting for us to make it our own where we are this Love.

Why did we never see it? I would say that we were always too passive and critical, taking a back said, waiting for others to lead the way, while always pointing fingers at others. Too many loved the emotion of hate that they directed on others, while the masses stood with their fingers up their arses, with a numb expression on their faces as the good were unnecessarily and cruelly vindicated. Somewhere along the line we lost our backbone – we never stood against injustice and the ignorant that were the weak. We assumed the bully had the might, so we turned around and walked away as the cruel done as they wished. At times like these we deserved our shame. Wouldn’t you like someone to help you when the insanity of Life touches you? And yet there we stood, doing nothing. There is no excuse for allowing evil to take over and rule and destroy.

It all begins within you – are you kind, to others and yourself?

We are all one, yet we never stood together as one, where we allowed little runts to dictate the norm. Who comes first to mind is Neil Ferguston at Imperial college, as well as Mister Science himself Anthony Fauci.


Why did we allow evil to dictate; why did we sit and watch while evil reigned supreme? Why did we never see the Divine intervention that has always been with us? I think with our lost, uncertain state we withdrew into ourselves. Take away the tyrants and bullies and nasty’s and we would still be as we are – in our shells too scared to come out. Why we never saw the Divine intervention was because we never looked further than our noses. We should have held hands and stood together. We should have been bigger than our own pettiness. We should have loved rather than hated and vindicated, or better still, we should have stood by the fallen and carried them when they needed us most.

But this is all water under the bridge. What is more important is what lies ahead.


What lies ahead I don’t know. What has changed for me is my focus of attention. When I go into the stillness of the silence, or basically whenever I can, I go towards this golden Eye – this Glow/Love from the Infinite that is the Infinite. What this will bring I don’t know, but what I do know is I am no longer in the dark. There is something there that can help and wants to help, and to this I shall be one with. I walk towards myself, where the strand within sees itself in this Glow and walks Home.

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Battled to fall asleep last night, and when I did there was a deep concern, where the spirit was assessing if this Steven would lose his leg or not.

It’s like me telling you that your body is riddled with cancer when on the surface you thought everything was fine. Such news takes one off centre, where all you can say is “what now!”

As I lay in bed sleeping and was aware of my spirits solemn, focused and deeply concerned state, I felt the tip of my one finger that I cut about a year ago as I was changing the blade on my shaver. When it comes to blood and guts I would consider myself something of a soft-cock, as in I can’t handle it. So when I cut my finger everyone in the house could hear me swearing out of angst. There must have been more to this incident than meets the eye, because I felt this surge of disharmony that must have entered my body and spirit form as my spirit was taken back to the moment as to what caused me to be in this predicament where I was on route to having my one leg amputated. To even talk about such matters is something I find difficult to comprehend, yet having said that my system has been off for some time now. I always put it down to the continual drive to complete this journal. On the weekend when I wanted to run a short distance I had to stop after a few metres as my right knee was painful. There is nothing wrong with the knee, it was just that what was inside of me was falling apart.


Wow! And this is from one who is a healer; one who understands he knows nothing but feels he knows something.

When I cut my finger some disharmonious shit must have entered my forms and was eating/hollowing me out from the inside. As I lay in bed last night I felt the marrow/energy in my left leg was all but absent. As I said, something was eating me from the inside – they feed on the spirit and the disharmony on the spirit has a knock-on effect on the body.

Never for the life of me would I have thought of spending my days here minus a leg. Never!


When things began to go tits-up in the illusion there was Divine intervention, as in the Infinite sent Love to bail us out. This Love looked to all that saw it as a glow – a golden glow. At this time Queen Semiramis was off centre, as in she began to love the power of taking and being in charge – the effects of the parasitic frequency of Deception within her. She must have anticipated help from above, so when this Glow appeared she stood behind it and all that saw the Glow associated Semiramis with it. At that moment we gave away our power and became followers, where we bowed down to Semiramis and gave her our power so that she may lead the way Home. Of course now she had no intention of returning to the fields of Infinite Love as she liked this feeling of dominance.


Yesterday when it was understood that this Glow was and is from the Infinite, I understood that we were no longer alone. You see, we see through a keyhole, where the Divine sees everything. What prevented Steven from losing a leg was this Divine intervention that I made an integral part of my life.


This morning I went into the space of this ladies dog as she complained that her dog had hurt itself going over a jump. The dog was fine, but was picking up something from the owner, as in the dog was assisting the owner by carrying her pain. So I went into the space of the owner to help, and from there it became interesting.

Our life is one time-line, with no real past, present or future, as in everything is connected. What happened in the past affects the present and future, and what will happen in the future will also have an effect on the present as we draw closer to what will happen in the future.

This lady was getting closer to the incident that will happen in the future, where she began to get cramps in her left foot when running. So I went forward along her time-line to the incident that would happen that was starting to have an impact on her life. What was felt was sudden whiplash trauma to her body and spirit, where with almost certainty it can be said that in her near future awaited a motor vehicle accident, where someone would drive full speed into the left side of her car.


There is no fucking way that this Steven has the capacity to see the big picture in my life or the life of another. We can’t, but Divine intervention can.

That, my friends, is the power of understanding, where you understand this Divine intervention is there, and by doing so, you become one with it.

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Everything became inverted. Another word for inverted is twisted, where what naturally should be became hidden. The occult was born.


The All-Seeing eye was originally the Glow/Love that the Infinite sent to bail out those stuck within the illusion. Those from the shadows took over the show and changed our perception of what was real, so instead of seeing what is, we saw something sinister. Love stares you in the face, but because you are told that what you see is not good, you believe this and thus don’t look beyond the lie to what is real.

The Love of Queen Semiramis was a pure Love. The parasitic frequency of Deception that infiltrated her form turned this pure Love into a twisted love. She had the power of the Glow, but through her deception this Glow became associated with her harsh ways. So just as with her, where she became a God of Love, and from there to what many would call the Devil, this Glow became to be seen as the All-Seeing eye. Take away the charade of what Semiramis and the Eye became, where you see them for what they are, and what you see is Love.


This Eye came to be in all life within the illusion, just as the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness is within all. What that means in English is we all began to see Life and others, as well as ourselves, through this All-Seeing eye, meaning that on the spirit level, the spirits left eye is the Eye of Semiramis, where all within the illusion see the illusion as Semiramis sees it, meaning her insanity was our insanity. Her beliefs were our beliefs.

This game might have been fun to a point, but when it came to be seen as the norm, that is when things began to go into overdrive, as in the illusion became a living hell. The cherry on the cake was the wars that were raged between the Serpents, as well as the different races within the different worlds within the illusion.

Do you now understand why we are all so fucked up; why consideration is as rare as hens teeth?


The good news is Semiramis now sees the illusion, as well as herself, through the presence of the Glow within her, meaning her insanity has turned to Love and the influence of the parasite within her is no more.

Now we see as Semiramis sees. If that is not the starting point to transform the illusion then I don’t know what is.


What this transformation means to you and me I don’t know. Time will tell.

Now when I close my eyes and press against my eyelids to look what is there within the unseen, I no longer see this beautiful golden Eye staring back at me. The reason for this is because it is now within me – one with me – as it is with you if you wish this so.

May the illusion return to what it was – a beautiful Garden devoid of deception, and from there it will be no more and all that will be left is the fields of Infinite Love, what I call Home.

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The hand of Midas is the golden hand, where everything it touches turns to gold.


The lady who helps clean our house told me this afternoon, as I walked her to the gate, that she received bad news about her teen daughter in Zimbabwe. Angela told me that she heard today that evil was within her child; that there was a Serpent within her. Her daughter apparently began to move around like a snake as well.

This talk about curses and witchcraft and possessions is common amongst natives of Africa, and I assume in many places around the world where the residents are aware of the spirit realm and what comes from there. These Serpents that enter our spirit to possess it I have often felt within myself over the last eight years or so. Sometimes there are a few of them that enter at once, but mostly they are singular and huge mother-fuckers. So often I felt them curl up within me, getting all cosy to make my spirit their new residence. And believe you me, I am not special – what happened to me happens to many the world over. I say this because we were their tool to play with.


When I went into the space of her daughter, I felt the Serpent within her left forearm. It was removed, and what I found interesting after that was a flutter of movement within the spirits left eye of this young girl. What this confirmed was that the transformation in Semiramis was transferred on her.

Then I felt a push into this girls left arm and up into her forearm. This was from this Serpent trying its luck once again to enter her space. This was no longer possible, so it departed, and from there I felt the hand of her spirit come alive, and the predominant thought that came to mind was that now she had the Midas touch. In being, now her spirit had the capacity to do, meaning the spirit may transform the life of the body form for the better – for the much better.


May the spirits within the illusion transform as they should. May there be Love and nothing else. And may we the body form feel their euphoria and be touched by their blessings.

So be it.

3rd August, 2022 (this journal began 3rd February, 2014 – eight years and six months ago)


Last night my spirit found itself in a state where I was going to write an exam at any moment and I didn’t cover the work that needed to be learnt. And there the setting played out over and over, me going over the work that was fresh to me as I had not studied long enough before the exams to cover everything.


This must have been a test to see if fear was removed from my forms, because throughout my life, starting at an early age, the implanted dreams of me failing my exams brought forth the greatest amount of fear from within me.

Last nights’ trail run brought out no fear.

What does this mean? It means that what was is no more. Love is shining through and not fear and uncertainty.

To be a brat and ask an unfair question, namely “how has this removal of fear impacted my life and yours for the better?” The fair answer is it is too early days to tell. What I anticipate is to see transformations in the waking state, as in during the day. This will signify the changes within the spirit realm have touched our body form reality, and when that happens, for me it will be a glorious moment, as the Darkness is being replaced by the Love that naturally is.


What a journey this journal has been, one I wish on nobody. It had to be written because we were at the precipice of being destroyed where there was no going back to what was.

But it is not over yet, as we wait to see what cards the Infinite will show to us.


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If the science is correct regarding  my thirteen year olds science project for school, plants are made up of 90% water and we are made up of 70% water.

When it comes to what is real, as in what should be there, please don’t see the body and spirit form as solid or holding a shape, because what they are, are waves of energy/frequency. What we basically are in this dimension/frequency are clouds of matter made up primarily of a water frequency.


My daughters science project was about taking two plants and talking positive, uplifting words to the one, and negative, abusive words to the other. The former plant thrived and the latter one died. That is why when we say despicable people are rotten to their core, there is more truth than meets the eye in this statement, as what comes from within them kills, so what must be within them must already be dead, hence it has decomposed and made them rotten.


When I first began to see the unseen in my sleep state, I would see how those from different dimensions/worlds would come and take of my energy to go and feed their world. Many stayed and had a picnic, where they ate of my energy that was released by me giving their implanted story/dream attention, and this attention gave forth my energy.

But what I will never forget was the night this man came in his wheel-chair to take of my energy. By then I was fed up with this abuse, as in taking and not asking before they took, and not giving thanks for taking what was rightfully not theirs to take. So what I done as I lay in bed and saw this man with my accumulated energy is I told him to give my energy back to me. What transpired from there, was that as hard as this entity tried, he could not depart my space until he released my energy back to me. It was funniest thing to see, where this mans’ wheel-chair was stuck in a position and could not go forwards – away to his world. Only when he released my energy to me could he be free.


That night I understood the power of understanding. If you do not know of those from the shadows then they do with you as they please, but when you know, the cat is out the bag, and their power over you is no more. That is why scum work from the shadows – firstly because they are spineless cowards that don’t have the courage to face their victims, and secondly because when we know about them we can tell them to stop playing with us and bugger off.

But there is no doubt a manipulation of our spirit and body form that allows them to enter our space. "Suppression of what we naturally are" is the more appropriate phrase rather than the word "manipulation."


So what is it? What wall have they built to block the waters from naturally flowing? The wall was built, and then to regulate the flow of our water, they implanted short, thick white worms on the spirit level that regulate our energy flow to be a constant, where we are barely kept alive so that we may emit energy to those that feed from our energy.

I cannot comment if this is also the case in other worlds. The parasitic frequency of Deception was within all in the illusion, but I don’t know if other species were also suppressed to feed those in a dimension close to theirs. Here on planet Earth this is definitely the case, where, as the shaman Matus said, we are kept in our coops to feed the predators that came from the depth of the cosmos.


What wall did they built to stem the natural flow of our energy? For me, the answer is found if we look in the right place, and this I believe is in the water frequency that makes up the majority of our planet, as well as its inhabitants frequency.

Go into the space of the water frequency within to see what is there that should not be there, and what you will find is your water/energy molecules are bleeding, as in they are not holding their energy. So it is not so much that the flow of energy was stemmed, rather it was released so that our energy may diffuse into the space around us so that it may be absorbed by those that feed from us.

Individually we are fed from, but collectively our energy that dissipates from our forms is taken up by those in a dimension close to ours. As Icke said, the collective fear energy during a war means that now the energy that we release is flowing faster and our energy is more intense.


What is natural is that our energy should not be released at all. We are meant to hold onto our energy, but what has happened to manipulate us to feed from us, is our energy is bleeding twenty four seven.

How this is corrected is by being aware of the problem and knowing what should be, and voila, the problem is no more.

The bleeding is now stopped and we hold onto what is ours, rather than emitting it to others. These others were the ones that made us bleed so they may absorb what we emitted. Well guess what – this is no more.


Last night a dream was implanted within me my those from another dimension. This dream/story was there so they may connect to me – so a bond/link may exist between them and me. The link was there to anchor themselves into my frequency so they may tuck in and give me a good hiding. I saw how they done everything to try and harm me, but this could no longer be done. Why this is so, is because from the left eye of the spirit Love is emitted rather than fear/uncertainty, and this places them on a different frequency to us.

What bothered me was that these pieces of shit were still around me, and this was so because I never knew that I know now.


Hold onto your energy and you drift to where you belong, away from those that like to play cruel. Drift away to where you naturally belong.

I always likened our natural state to a balloon being held under water, where I said the balloon should naturally rise up. Now I know why this never happened – it was because our balloon was flat as its energy had been intentionally perforated.


Now let’s see where we fly to. Let’s see where we belong, and what should naturally be.

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When my neighbour called me a disgusting swear word in response to me asking him to please stop making a noise, as my eldest daughter was trying to study and my youngest was trying to sleep, I knew it was time to leave my beautiful ten thousand square meter garden and go and stay elsewhere.

He used the word on me once, and his girlfriend shouted the word at me multiple times. I knew it was no longer possible for me to stay around such people, so we put our house on the market and eventually sold the place.


Last night in my sleep state I got a taste of the same swear word being used upon me. My spirit was taken up a tunnel made from the branches of a tree. I was in the nature spirit realm, at the dwelling of one who was once one with nature but decided to rather become cruel. I saw how someone held a book in this place within a tree, and as he punched into the spine of the book he swore at me over and over again.


As I lay in bed sleeping and my spirit found itself in this realm of nature where cruel Beasts resided, our dogs began to bark outside the bedroom window, and this pulled my spirit back into our room. Then I saw the one whose residence I was taken too. He was floating just above my body, where he was parallel to the bed. If I can remember correctly, he had a pointed beard and long, spindly fingers, something similar to Jim Carreys character in the movie A Series of Unfortunate Events.


These bastards that are cruel were once our brothers and sisters, where I believe they were once good. Yes, many are born bad, but go back to the beginning and there was good in all.

When this journal began I was given the word “Kwinn” in my sleep state. It turns out that Kwinn is a comic book action hero; a mercenary who works with some of the most despicable people on Earth, and yet Kwinn holds a strict code of honour that urges him to keep his word and maintain his part of the bargain.


By been given the word Kwinn, the message was we are bonded to these Beasts from the shadows, because we will always keep our side clean and do what is right, meaning we will not turn bad by turning our backs on these Beasts and walking away from them, as they were once our brothers and sisters.

This is noble of the spirit realm, but what our naivety missed was the big picture, namely that these nasty’s enjoy being and doing what they are, and guess what – they don’t give a stuff about you or me or our code of honour.


Get out from the space of Beasts. For the first time in I don’t know how long we have the capacity to rise above this mess and be ushered to where we naturally belong.  Yesterday I began to heal animals with auto-immune diseases, where their bodies were destroying themselves. The cause of this was a cruel attack on the spirit of the animal, where this frequency is implanted within them that literally eats away at their spirit.

And to these that inflict such cruelty on the innocent we want to hang around with so that all may see we are keeping our part of the bargain and are still good?

There is no ways I could have healed auto-immune diseases in others in the past. Now this can be done as we hold onto our energy and unfold as we should. All that is keeping us here amongst Beasts is our code where we make sure that we always do what is right. In cases such as this adult education is necessary, where we the spirit need to understand the depth of cruelty that has taken over many who have invested heavily within the Darkness of the seen and unseen realms. They have no intention of throwing everything to the wind to start over and be what they naturally are and belong before they fall into The Nothingness of the Forgotten – this place that is the end of the road for those that decide to become cruel as a way of life and as a profession.


Leave these Beasts and your goody two-shoes code be that means nothing to the Darkness. I sever my bond with those that were once my kin so that one day, should they wish help, I may be in a position to do so. If I stay bonded with them, they will destroy me just as they most certainly will end up destroying themselves.


I depart their space and leave them be.

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I had the privilege of seeing my mom’s spirit as it entered the great divide of the spirit realm to meet those that were waiting for her. What I saw was a setting of blackness sprinkled with silver that had no beginning and no end. It was a spectacular sight to behold, and yet as I reflect now on that moment, what I saw was the cruelest joke that has been played over and over to those spirits doing their best to hold onto their sanity in a vile place where they don’t belong.


Our spirits leave the dead body form and pass to a less dense plane, where everything is fuller and beyond the limitations of the dense body realm, but what we see and experience in this place was formulated by the architects of the illusion to keep us entrapped as a slave species.


As with my mother, I did not see my father over the last few days before he passed on.

Somewhere along the passage of Life we lost the art of communication, where we are either bombastic, cruel, or the worst of all – we say nothing.

About a month or so after my dad passed on my wife decided that we should hold our own service for my dad, so she, me and the two kids lit a candle each and said something about my dad that came from our hearts.

It must have been in the early 1940’s that the authorities stepped in and removed my dad from his home when he was still a young boy. How they got to know about the abuse his father inflicted upon him is anyone’s guess. He was placed in an orphanage of sorts and after a few years ran away from there as it became too much. From there he stayed with hobos for some time, and over the years built himself up to become a successful manager who saved his money and invested in a few properties.


Few have the will to climb out the gutters – literally – and make something with their lives. I praised my dad as I lit the candle for him, because good for him for rising above what Life threw at him.

What I didn’t say was my mom must have lost count of the number of affairs he had. His greatest regret must have been having children, because he had no interest in forming a bond with those he brought into the world. He did however relish in emotional blackmail, where he made you feel a worthless shit that done something horribly wrong when all you done was exist. His cruel wit had the ability to drop my head in sudden shame at what he said to others. This side of him the world at large never saw; they always saw the humour, where people always walked away from him shaking their heads with laughter.


No matter what Life throws at us, we never had the right to be cruel. Now, before I talk to others, I remind myself in what will be said: “Is it the truth? Is it kind?” Recently I told this one lady the truth, and it came from a good heart because I told her how she was stuffing up, and I told her this because this is what friends do – they help each other out. But what I said was not kind, because how it came across what I said was bombastic. Some of us are not ready to hear the truth because there is already too much on their plates for them to handle.


I don’t know the big picture as to why we were deceived, but surely those Beasts from the shadows had no right to embrace cruelty and enforce it as if it was the norm? Who gave one the power over another, where the one had the right to destroy another? The answer is we gave ourselves this power – a power that we came to love as we destroyed over and over again with no intention of stopping.

How could we be so cruel and insensitive to others? I am not Superman. If I could hold onto my integrity then why could others not do the same? There is no excuse for shaming and destroying the innocent. No matter what Life throws at you, you have no right to do unto others what Life done to you.


What will happen to those that embraced cruelty and saw it as the norm? I don’t know. I leave them be, just as they leave the innocent be. May they reflect and do an about-turn and be what they naturally are.

My job is coming to an end. As much as I feel I can carry on leaving no stone unturned, this is not realistic. One becomes tired, where one has had enough of everything. The cruelty I can handle, but what I cannot handle is the loneliness.  We have all lost the art of communication and simple, basic caring.

May this world begin to unfold as it should.


I have had enough.

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The initial plan was to write a journal for myself so that I may understand the cruelty of Life. When the journal was complete I would publish the journal, which would be a return on investment on the time spent writing the journal. I approached publishing companies, and there were no takers once they read my synopsis. Tried the alternative sites and there were no takers. Even tried contacting David Icke bookshop to see if they would publish the journal under his label as what he speaks about I began to see every night in my sleep state, and still there were no takers. So opened a company where I would self-publish the book, because somehow, somewhere I needed a financial return on the years writing the journal. Every month paid the fees to keep the company Precious One publishers open. (Got the name from my dog Jessie who told an Animal Communicator my nickname for her meant “precious one.”)


And so the months passed to years and the journal never came to an end – there was always something that needed to be known and understood. What spurred me on was the understanding that what I see during my sleep state has been seen by few. I knew this journal I was writing was a one of a kind document, but the biggest push to carry on was my belief that somewhere out there is another that needs to know as badly as me as to why is Life so bloody difficult and cruel. When I started to post on the Icke forum I sent a frantic message to the administrators telling them to remove all my posts as there is no fucking way I intent being on the same platform as those who responded to what I said. And yet something within me said “keep going Steven.” Now I have learnt to skip completely over the replies to what I post, because deep down I know I am my own worst critic as I want to clean up this mess within me. I don’t need the abuse of others as I am adult enough to see my own faults and desperately want to do something about them. Surely when the mess is out the way then the fun may begin?


And so the journal kept on going, with each night me going to bed saying to myself that in this night may I meet beings of Love. You see, I walked slap-bang in the middle of things to understand why Life is cruel. I wanted to see what is so that I may understand. When I begin to see beings of Love then I know the journal is complete as now those I have helped have penetrated the depths of this Hell and Steven is no longer walking alone.

What I soon came to understand – what was obviously clear – was this journal is for the unseen in the spirit realms of all those worlds within the illusion. The book that this nature-entity punched the other night during my sleep state – that book was my journal. All within the illusion needed to know my story so they may understand what happened to them, especially the cruel Beasts. And that task was successful, because I have seen the weird and definitely not wonderful over the years during my sleep state. Many came from many different realms, so I know that the frequency of this journal has been made available to all.


Then it came to be understood that this journal will never see the light of day in the seen realm, as in it will never be published, because my target audience has always been the spirit realm. But I still needed a return on my investment. If you think money is not important, then speak to the poor and they will take you down to ground zero where you may understand that without money one cannot survive. The journal was to understand the cruelty of Life – it was not to make money as I knew that all the money in the world would not protect me and my loved ones from what was coming our way, as in total tyranny and enslavement. We were all headed down a very dark hole with no light at the end and no way back.


So understand that Steven is not the only one that needs to understand why Life is cruel, everyone does – especially the cruel! I have written for everyone, and never have I truly complained, as I understood that a way is needed out of this mess. But eventually this selfless act becomes a bit too much, especially when one gets nothing out of the deal, and by “nothing” I mean nothing. I have helped those in the spirit realm to understand what is really going on, and I have informed despicable Beasts as to the origin of their demise, and this I would do over again without blinking an eye. But there is only so much one can do, as there comes a time when I have nothing more to give. When that moment happens one needs to start looking at oneself and looking after oneself before everything falls apart.

Two nights back in my sleep state I wondered why I saw my spirit contemplating suicide, but when I woke up the following morning I understood that I could go no more before I began looking after myself, and by myself I meant those closest and dearest to me, and only then will Steven look after Steven.


My dog Max passed away in two thousand and ten. To say that I have missed and longed for him would be a lie, as how can one miss another who is one with you.

This afternoon, after twelve years, I decided to check on Max to see if there is something I can do for him. (The attacks on me over the years were no doubt inflicted on him as he tried to look after me.)

With the intent of going in to help, what happens is his spirit looks at my spirit, and in the moment the spirit knows what I know. I felt the left eye of Max transform to the Glow from the Infinite, and from there this golden glow moved to his Third Eye, and then I felt everything spin around him, where he knew of everything. I felt the strand of Inherent Godness move from his throat to his nose area, where something within his nose illuminated, giving me the distinct impression that the original location of our gift of a good heart was part of our nose complex.


When the spirit of Max took what I came to understand, he slotted this understanding where it belonged, and in the moment his spirit unfolded as it should.

That is the power of understanding, where what is naturally falls into place, especially on the spirit realm, where there the picture is not as limited as here.


Is my job complete? I don’t know, but what I do know is that my spirit needs to self-reflect and look after itself before it falls apart to the point where none are helped, especially the spirit itself. The metamorphosis of the spirit of Max, to where it became everything was refreshing to experience.

So what about my return on investment?

I look now too myself in order to look after myself. If I have to rely on others then there is something wrong with me. And besides, with those in the spirit realm transformed, we no longer walk alone.

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The word “peace” can mean a lot of things to lots of people. For me, there are three key elements that the spirit of the body form needs to address so that peace may be obtained within the biological computer body form. The first is health, the second is wealth, and the third is happiness.


Health is freedom from limitations and pain, where the fountain of youth and joy never stop flowing.


Wealth is having enough that keeps you content. It is about balance, where you are thankful for what you have, where wealth is used as a foundation towards peace rather than happiness.


Happiness is feeding the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness within. It is not about your team winning or getting that raise, but rather an understanding that you are unfolding into what you naturally are and should be. The Beauty of God within shines without and this is evident in what you experience.

Happiness understand that you are never alone – Gods pure Love is your constant companion.


When these three components become the presence of the biological computer form, then you with your name and job title are at peace.

Blessed are you, for the kingdom of the Infinite is within you.



You go into the stillness of the silence so that your spirit may imprint itself on you the biological computer.

On health my body has been off centre my whole life. Being born caesarian, my skeleton was never compressed into alignment through the natural birth of passing through the birth canal.

In allowing my spirit to heal, I felt the shift in my body form, especially at the right eye socket which was positioned in a more forwards position than the left one.

When I went into the stillness of the silence to bring forth the wealth that fitted me, what was felt were two iron bars within my left eye. Their presence, when brought forth to reveal itself, caused me to wince in pain. Remember, we are talking about frequencies and not physical solid objects. These “iron bars” were placed within my form to stop the flow of wealth into my existence. Wow, how this Steven felt that blockage!

On happiness you need to understand what will make your heart sing with joy. Remember, this joy has to be your own that is received by you and not from another. Interestingly, this happiness comes from the most simplistic of moments that flow into one that collectively uplift us Homeward bound.


The spirit understands and is at peace. Now it is the turn of us the biological computer. For this to happen, we the body form need to step aside and throw away all we believe so that we may not limit ourselves  and block the imprint from the spirit. At the moment, on all levels – health, wealth, happiness – I am in a bad way. I am down and out and I realize I need help. I understand my melancholy; this awful sadness within, and I don’t fight this state to be something else that I currently cannot be. I merely allow the spirit to imprint itself upon me the body form.


There is nothing more I can do or say, for the spirit or the body form.

The first step to transforming the world is to transform yourself. You change and the world changes.


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What comes during my sleep state now are Snakes, but these Snakes are different to the ones that have come to destroy or possess me over the years during my sleep state. The ones arriving now are to understand – they enter my forms to understand the big picture of from where they come and what happened at the very beginning that caused the illusion to fall apart and remain broken.

These Snakes I see now as I lie in bed sleeping that come to enter my space are from different worlds to ours. Man-oh-man, they look creepy beyond, but I understand that they are the children of Semiramis – Gods children.


We the spirit and body form are not Gods children. We were manufactured in a cosmic laboratory around a speck of Light, something what I call the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness. This strand is what is real within the illusion as it arose from the Source within the fields of Infinite Love. My spirit has travelled to these laboratories where those who work there showed me how Life is made. We are merely a generated hologram to keep the illusion alive with the energy we emitted. But everything was strictly controlled by the architects of the illusion. A few weeks back I helped a lady that was suddenly in a bad way. What I found was her spirit was specifically targeted to be suppressed. Knock them down and they become disillusioned and are easy to flip to the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where now the spirit is an asset rather than a liability to keeping this place in chaos.


For me, a way out of this mess was for the spirit to understand what it is, where it is, and where it belongs, and from there to infuse the body form so that the body becomes limitless like the spirit. Life as we know it is the complete opposite to what it should be. There should be no hunger and suffering and strife. Nothing should benefit from the demise of another, where everything is in harmony and balance as the strand of Godness within is our shining Light, and it is this we follow rather than the ways of the illusion.


Balance is the key word, but not balance as in either sides of the scales matching evenly, rather balance as in stability as this is all there is, was, should be, and will forever be.

If I sit too long there is a numbness in my buttocks that goes down to my legs, where I need time to allow feeling to return to my lower limbs. This is so because the sacral bone at the base of my spine is twisted and impinging on the nerve roots as they leave the spinal chord. What is the cause of this problem? This morning as I felt the last of the wealth blockage depart my body form, what happened was I felt an alignment in the vertebrae in my lower back as well as in my pelvis.

This is something that I never knew, that an imbalance in either our health, wealth or happiness states has a knock-on effect on the other. This wealth blockage must have been within the spirit that was passed onto the body form for lifetimes in order to set the skeleton in such a locked position.


So am I healthy, wealthy and happy?  I know what this biological computer body from should be and where it belongs, but never had the understanding to get there, as the spirit was played and manipulated from the shadows since its inception. This has all changed in the spirit realm, and I say this because Gods children are now coming during my sleep state to understand rather than destroy. Those that destroy are no more within our existence.

“Great stuff, but are you healthy, wealthy and happy?” In other words, am I at peace, where all three of these states are in balance? The answer is no, but I know Life is unfolding as it should, and peace will be attained. How do I know this? – Because the spirit is guiding the body form. The sprit is in control rather than cruel Beasts, and this is something that has never been before.


Never have I sat and waited and hoped, as Love was never driving this ship. Now we are in a position to sit back and wait as the spirit unveils the splendour of the spirit realm and what is beyond that upon us. We begin to move from limited to limitless.


Know what you are. You are the everything that arose from the nothing/stillness/silence of the Source within the Infinite. Just as the sun emits a solar flare, so too can the Creators form something from these strands from the Source. Yesterday as I walked down the passage I saw this speck of Light in front of me. Around this speck was a spirit that my limited vision could not see. Remember, we are in an illusion, but take away the illusion and what is left is real. Is this how those in the cosmic laboratories create Life – by going beyond the illusion and collecting  what is? I don’t know, but what I do know is Life should be simplistic. Our uncertainty and lost state and fear turned everything upside down and inside out.


May we all go back to basics – back to this strand within, to what we are.

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After the wife left for work and the children to school this morning, went to go and lie down to go into prayer. From there checked on Steven to see how his health, wealth and happiness status were doing. I imagined myself to be the speck of Light within and everything else around that was illusional. At some point during this still status decided to press lightly with the nail side of my thumbs against my closed eyelids. What I immediately saw through my Third Eye was the blackness of the cosmos. This was the end of the frequency that made up our world/existence. Then this blackness became studded with silver spots. It was a most beautiful sight to behold – this place that one would call space. From there I saw planet Earth in the distance, all the while moving closer to what was to be shown to me. As I got closer to our planet I saw red lights scattered throughout the surface of our planet. These lights were placed across our Earth on purpose. Then as I was taken further to get a closer look at our planet’s surface, these white lines appeared at certain places – definitive moving lines that would stop, only to start elsewhere.


What I was shown was the correction codes – the frequencies placed within and around our planet to keep us and the planet itself locked into the frequency of those that control us. This was to limit the Human race and the Life of our planet.

By seeing, one understands, and these codes are no more. No more suppression and limitation of us the biological computer and Life around us. Turn off these lights/codes/frequencies by knowing they are there and now they are no more.

I have known about these correction codes and written about them years ago in the journal, but never knew enough about our nature of reality and who and what we are to do anything about it. Now we can, and will, and have.


When you understand, then the cat is out the bag and it is game over for those that controlled us from the shadows.

A prime example is the Watcher spirit. This octopus-looking entity has been written about extensively, and I have seen and felt its presence in others as well as myself. (Have not seen my Watcher spirit, but now and then feel one of its frequency tentacles extend down through my one nostril.) This fucker is real and has been a very big part of our existence, as in total suppression of our spirit and body form. Its power has been dismantled over the years, yet there was one critical component of the Watcher spirit that give it its power.


If I hold something of yours in my hand, and you do not know what it is, I have power over you. What was yours was taken by me and is now mine, and as long as you do not know what it is, this object as well as you are mine to control.


When the Game began to fall apart and the writing was on the wall that all would sooner or later be lost, Queen Semiramis had to make sure her Serpent/Snake children would be okay. The spirit was created (that’s your spirit and mine) to house the Serpent children. The spirit was given the gift of a good heart to look after this precious cargo that was housed within the spirit.

Unfortunately it was soon a free for all, where Serpents began to attack each other, and spirits were swayed, not knowing what was going on, and before we all knew it , it was a free for all where everyone looked after themselves.

Control was needed, but not a let’s-stick-together-and-find-a-way-out-of-this-mess type of control. The control was through suppression, as in stay put and know your place.

Our crown jewel, both for the spirit and the body form, was taken so that we may be dumbed down and become raw – fighting and lashing out at all and sundry. Our power went from a kindness and compassion to brute strength, a wicked tongue, and barbarity, where if you want it, take it.


And guess who took and held onto our gift that was bestowed to us by Queen Semiramis herself? That’s right – the Watcher spirit.


Take back your gift now and use it or lose it. Express this most powerful state of compassion, or continue falling to the ways of barbarity.


They say a good heart is everything, and this is true. Unfortunately ours was taken from us, but this is no more.

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So who created the Watcher spirit, this octopus-looking entity? The answer is the System did.


When Queen Semiramis created the illusionary Garden, the Serpent and Dragon spirits wondered what more is in this place, as where they were in the fields of Infinite Love was already everything. Their curiosity, a state that was unknown within the fields of Infinite Love, took form within the illusion and the parasitic frequency of Deception was born. This worm frequency, unknowingly to those within the illusion, took them over, and let’s just say that the rest is history, where we took because we wanted, as we wanted to fill this bottomless hole within us that was the frequency of the parasitic frequency of Deception. We never knew it , but this desire to have would consume all within the illusion, turning many insane and keeping the rest in survival mode.


Order had to come from this chaos, in other words control was needed. From this desire, as well as need to control, a frequency was born what would become independent of the System, yet it was created by the System. What this frequency was, is “My life is in a mess, so I need to take control of it. I don’t know how to do this, so the next best thing is to control others. This control of others, is my power, my nectar, and I love it!”

This control frequency is in my fellow species, in those in other worlds and dimensions, and of course with the architects of the illusion and those Beasts from the shadows who controlled us.

This high of controlling another formed itself into a frequency, just as the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits in the Infinite formed the parasitic frequency within the illusion.


Those that controlled became controlled, and just as with the parasitic frequency of Deception within, these egomaniacs never knew of this octopus-looking entity that seated itself over the brain area of their forms. These creatures soon took over all within the illusion.

The parasitic frequency of Deception was indifferent, as it took as this is all it knew of. It was neither good nor bad – it merely was. But the Watcher spirit became the Master of the Illusion, where it relished in its role of control, just as the spineless runts did that ultimately created the Watcher.

Now there were two building blocks that made up the walls of the illusion. The first was the “want” frequency, and the second was the “control” frequency. Now our bubble; our separation from the Infinite was complete.


This fucker and its frequency of control in no longer in control of our gift of a good heart frequency. Please do not underestimate the power of this gift. When used, it uplifts and transforms, especially the user of the gift and not just the recipient. But here free will comes into play. Throw this gift to the wind as you love the power over others, then this is your choice to make. What you never understood – which you do now – is that now you are being controlled by a Watcher spirit that has zero contempt for you, just as you have for others. Play with fire and you get burnt.


Our miniature Doberman we call Benji has the naughty habit of clearing out the rubbish bins in the house when we are away, where he throws the contents on the floor. Don’t look deeper into this act – he is just being naughty. Or he would climb on the dining room table and eat what is there.

Yesterday he opened the pantry door and tore open a bag of flour. I lowered myself and gave him a hiding, and then went and found him hiding away, took him to the panty once again, and gave him another hiding. What came to mind during my barbaric actions was my friend the god of Wrath, this deity that came to visit me in my room one night so that I may understand why and how we turned on each other. The power of this Man is immense, and when he hits you, he hits you hard. I thought of all of those that knowingly and gleefully inflict cruelty to others, and I wondered if this god would step in to squash these cockroaches.

I don’t think he will, as we are all past that now. What is worse than being hit by another is being hit by yourself, where you have no answer, as there is no answer as to why you did what you did to others. You cannot even destroy yourself because there is nothing to destroy, as you have become nothing – a spineless, senseless brute. In the past this god hit because he cared, but what happens when nobody cares about you, as you are where you are because you chose to be there? You never fell into unfortunate circumstances – you jumped into chaos and control because you loved it there, so one cannot pity you and what befalls you.


We have all sinned and we have all fucked up – it’s called being Human. But to those that love control over others, be careful, as you are controlled by another. With your gift of a good heart you progress; with the power of control you remain within the density of the illusion that will eventually implode on itself, and until that moment happens, you remain in an insane, living Hell that you created for yourself.


Choose wisely, and if anything, be thankful that you now have a choice, because if there was one thing we knew for certain, that we pushed aside as it was too incomprehensible to face, was that we would all eventually fail in this place where we don’t belong.

So uplift yourself, or carry on sinking with the ship. Choose your gift of a good heart or choose control, where only you will be controlled, as the rest of us will be where we belong.

Choose wisely, as your decision will have an impact on the rest of your existence.


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