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Know what you are.

steven geldenhuys

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Now it’s time to play Daddy and give a speech.


If you want to be free of the illusion, then you have to do the complete opposite of what you have always done.

When you go within and find nothing, then you have everything.

When you go without you are within the illusion and you are played in a Game where you cannot win, because the Game is played by cruel Beasts, and it is their Game and not yours, so they will always win. By “win,” we imply they will destroy your spirit and body form and capture your Serpent soul.


These entities from the shadows have taken their gloves off, and now they are fighting for their survival. They are hitting me, and they are hitting me hard. They are pulling me into their fight where I allow myself to give my attention to them. They are doing everything they can to survive in their illusion.

My animals are also being taken out in the process. My dogs are in pain and find it difficult to breathe. This is from the psychic attacks that are destroying body and spirit.


You listen to Daddy now you fuckers. You go within all the time, and when you have nothing; when you have stillness, then you have the nothing of the Infinite which is everything. If you do not have nothing, then you have an illusion wherein cruel Beasts reside that will take you out because they are holding onto all that they know, which is to be cruel, and besides, they like it there in this place that is not real.


Go within and be everything. Go without into the illusion and you are a goner. Their gloves are off and they will hit you with everything they have and you will be destroyed.

Stop reading and listening and start doing.

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That we are all inherently good is what I believe.

That many of us have been dumbed down to be stupid, ignorant, self-centered trailer-trash is what I also believe.

That we have been infiltrated, limited and used as a slave species is what I believe.


What I also believe is that the days of doing what you want when you want because you can are over.

Beasts will now be accountable for their actions from their twisted minds. When they see Love they will see what they became.

That the innocent had to suffer is unforgiveable.

Did they really think their Game could last forever?


Now it is no longer about what I believe.

Now the Truth shall set us free, for it is out there for all to see.

Now there is no shadow to hide behind, for now we see ourselves. May God have mercy on these Beasts that allowed insanity to take them over, where destroying was embraced as the norm.


I would no longer like to write in this journal, as I feel enough has been said. No longer writing about what comes in the night as I no longer have an interest in that.

So where too from here? Do I leave those in the spirit realm hanging from a thread?

The other day I helped a young lady who was being parasited from by those in the seen and unseen. A flicker of life returned to her, and I was asked to write something for her so that this light may become stronger.


“What I would like to achieve every day for myself is to lead a spectacular life.

Yesterday I watched my grade 7 daughter play a netball match. When the one girl in her team threw a goal her whole face and being lit up. To see that, for me, was spectacular.

To be spectacular is natural.


The flip side of the coin is there are Beasts in the unseen realms that are unnatural. These entities thrive on sorrow and hatred. They are energy parasites, and I understand them as my spirit sees them in my sleep state, and I feel and smell them when I go into the space of others to help.


Because what these Beasts do is unnatural they have to work from the shadows so that they cannot be caught out. Their covertness is their power over us, and in many cases they work through Humans where we do their bidding, which creates nasty and unpleasant people.


So to be spectacular one has to understand that these Beasts exist, and that our spectacular state is natural, and their cruelty is unnatural. This understanding removes this filth from our lives.


Always live in the silence of the heart, as that is where the true God resides. If you think and analyse and are confused then you get drawn into a fight, where these Beasts will always win and destroy you as now you are playing in their game.


Live from the heart so that others can see how spectacular you are, and for this they will be eternally grateful to you for showing them what it means to live.”


May what is written in this journal be enough said for all, as I would like to stop writing and be spectacular.

1st May, 2022


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Tomorrow marks two occasions.

The first is that it would have been my mom’s birthday. As long as I can remember, she worked six days a week. From an early age Life fucked her up with the death of her father when she was three, and the subsequent step-fathers into her life that were monsters to say the least. She became a figure from circumstances, meaning that she was a mothers arse to me. Life and work got the better of her, but through all of that there was one light that shone the brightest, namely that she wanted only the best for me. She never had the time or know-how to apply what she felt with her whole being, so although she laid no foundation and was not there for me, that she cared I am thankful. This caring left no life-skills for me to grab onto and make my own, but I understand she tried her best in a world that rattled her throughout her whole life.

So happy birthday for tomorrow mom!


The second occasion is that this journal is eight years and three months old tomorrow.

I have never written from eight till five every day over this time period, but what has happened, is that every fibre of my being has lived for the answer to the question “What more needs to be understood to be free from the illusion?” The answers to this question have consumed me over the last ninety nine months, where I have not lived but rather been a student. What I have learnt I have passed on to the spirit realm, and those that have come in the night during my sleep state is testament that the frequency of this journal has spread far and wide within the illusion. I have rocked the boat, and the many ritualistic attacks on me by beings in different worlds are testimony that many species are afraid to see what they have become, so shut up Steven so that we may carry on doing what we have always done and have a good night’s sleep as well.

To be fair to these Beasts, they are merely surviving, but the acceptance of who and what they are puzzles me, for why did they never seek to better themselves, where it a win-win situation for all? This question we the Human race needs to also answer big time, because when you take and destroy and are nasty because you can, the road ends sooner or later, and then there is nothing more to be destroyed besides ourselves. Talk about poor, long-term strategic management. The question we should have asked at the very beginning when we found ourselves a slave species is “how can all benefit; where it is a win-win for all?” This template would have taken the focus away from “me” to “we” and the Life we know of now would not exist.


I have said it so often that this journal is finished, only to prove myself wrong, that I am no longer embarrassed by my error. If it means keep going to find something else we didn’t know of, then so be it. My wife has always said that only I can decide when this journal is over, and yet how is this possible when I know nothing, where the Truth has to be shown to me so that I may understand? This was always my logical answer to her, and yet she is correct, as I started the journal so only I can finish it. This means Steven has to step out into the world and start living. This I will do on one condition – that my days of living amongst seen and unseen Beasts are over. I am not going to hire a nanny or body-guard, rather what I will do is pass on an understanding that I understand cruel Beasts and choose to no longer have anything to do with them.

By living, I choose to apply what the animals taught me throughout this journal. I choose to be natural; I choose to be Love; and I choose to have only this state around me and nothing else. We need to stop surviving and start living, where we rise above this mess and go forwards Homewards bound. Our God now has Love and not a twisted Love, but we need to do our part and live in the presence of this God, namely within the stillness of the heart energy field whenever we can. This state must become our new normal should we wish to depart the illusion.


Tomorrow marks the day when I begin to live – where I am no longer a student, but a participant in Life living what the animals have taught us. This departure from Beasts by knowing they exist and wanting nothing to do with them marks the great shift within the illusion, where those continue their decimation as they fall denser into Hell, and others rise up to be what they naturally are. The days of sitting on the fence and going with the flow are over, so my advice is choose before Life chooses for you. It costs nothing to be kind to yourself and others, and that is the first step back Home. Embrace the God within - you are no longer alone, as within you is the Infinite.

May tomorrow be a new beginning for us all. 


It will be, as this is my choice.


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As you and I eat, so too do those from the shadows eat. We eat of others, just as they eat of us.


The implanted dream was of me riding a bicycle, doing competitive training against a few others. The road had potholes, and this was the only similarity to this world, as the ones who implanted the dream were of another world and thus used an element of their imagination to weave together the story/dream.


My body form was lying on its side as my spirit and Serpent soul pulled themselves out of the trance/dream they had just given attention/energy to. I saw the pack of Beasts that were around my wife, taking of her energy as they were busy doing with mine. The leader of the pack was a Human looking female with short black hair. She was shouting orders to the pack when she looked at me and saw that I could see her. Not knowing what to do or say, she just looked down. It was then that I saw her Human-looking features transform to that to the pack around her. They were Beasts on four legs and their facial features were unknown to us – between maybe a fox and a wolf. What stood out were their sharp teeth and this embedded growl within their look and demeanor.

Whoever this female pack leader was in her world, she decided to cross over and embrace the Reptilian frequency of the illusion to be one with those that ruled from the shadows around the world she occupied. In her mind’s eye she still looks as she did when she dwelled amongst her own, but the reality is that by her crossing over to become a Beast, she becomes one of them to the point where what she looked like is even no more. She imagines herself to be female looking, thus when I initially saw her I saw what she would like to think she is, but when I saw her with her façade dropped, she looked just like the Beasts that she had crossed over to become.


Let this be a warning to all of us: It is so easy to embrace the ways of a savage, but beware of the consequences – you lose your spirit and soul and your integrity.

As David Icke says: Never give up.


So I looked at this charade in front of me, where these Beasts were sweeping across the path of my wife and I, implanting a dream and taking of our energy, and of course I could not be upset with them, as we do the same, albeit a billion times worse. We take and kill a living organism/animal, leaving behind a trail of fear and blood. And yet, is this what these Beasts seek when they feed from us – this essence of terror? I imagine so.

So I lay there, looking at these Beasts, seeing the wind being knocked out their sails as they had been caught red-handed. I told this one Beast to give the energy he was holding in his hand back to my wife, which he did by throwing it back into her forms. Then I asked a question: “What needs to happen to me so that I may stop feeding from others so that others may stop feeding from me?”


I took this question and placed it within the Infinite located within at my chest area. From there I done nothing – I was just in a state of being as I felt changes within my body,  primarily the head area.

Now here is the deal: When you ask such questions to transform the spirit to what it was originally meant to be, you embrace the answer in its entirety. It’s all or nothing. As you humbly ask, so too do you humbly receive, and when you receive, give thanks for what you have received.

How I would love to be within the frequency of Consideration, which I believe is the planet/frequency that was created for us before mission control decided to dumb us down to be a food source. We took, and what we took others took from us. We were just the middle-man/woman as we sent the animals to the slaughter houses. Just as animals feed us, we feed Beasts from the shadows, but the big picture is that our fear and uncertainty feeds the destructive/negative force that fills the illusion. All of this shit; this negativity, you now swing around when you see a wrong and you ask a question so that it may be made right, where there is a win-win for all. This question you pass on to the Infinite within and the answer/transformation will come to the spirit so that it may find peace and what it was initially manufactured to be.

With all the confusion gone we may enter a different realm on our way Home.


This is how the spirit grows, where it understands that within it is the potential to make a wrong right, where there is a win-win for all, meaning the spirit and what it interacts with flourish.

Now the spirit is on the path to living its full potential. What this is, only the Infinite knows as we have forgotten what we are.


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What is the mind; what are our thoughts?

What we hear is the confused state of the spirit as it tries to make sense of the frequency/world in which it finds itself as it drives the body vehicle.

Those on this side of the Reptilian frequency find a niche where they may slot into this frequency/world and go with the flow. Life can be shit and tough, but that’s Life, and these spirits and their body forms are often the unfortunate ones, because as they do their best, they imagine that everyone else is doing the same, and the harsh reality of what Life is can often scar these good people and their spirits irrevocably.

Then there are those that see the rotten/bad streak within Life and ride this opportunistic wave to make headway in this frequency world. Walk over the innocent, either subtly or bombastically – it doesn’t really matter, as the end results are the same. With spirit one, where there was confusion at the insanity of Life as they done their best, spirit two half begins to accept this insanity, as it works to get them ahead. Yes, in the short term it works like a bomb as you mow across the masses and reach the top, but what you never knew is that you are now one step towards the downward spiral of the Reptilian frequency. Spirit one may be knocked and be down and out, but spirit two is being drawn into a whirlpool that drives them to the shadows.

Spirit three is content with Life and does not want to reach the stars and conquer the world of sport or business or whatever – they are happy with going with the flow. The difference between them and spirit one is they don’t become confused by the insanity/unjust cruelty of Life, rather they accept this and also become unjust and cruel. These are the many out there, where the more insane they become, the crueler they are, until the spirit loses itself completely and just wanders. What is left is a raw savage that has lost its spirit. What protects us from such Beasts is that many don't know if they are Artha or Martha - they are totally out of it.


Spirit one ends up captive/controlled by those from the shadows.

Spirit two crosses over and embraces the Reptilian frequency. If there is a Serpent soul within the spirit, this Serpent soul takes on the cruelty of the spirit and devours/eats the spirit. I believe that not all species have a Serpent soul within, but am open to being wrong in saying this. I say this because the pack of Beasts I saw last night in my sleep state were scavengers and hunters of the illusion that hunted from the shadows.  We the spirit of the Human race were tasked to look after the Serpent soul “children” of Semiramis, and our gift/power to do so was our good hearts/Consideration. We were being sent to a paradise when there must have been a major shift/cataclysm within the illusion. Either this shift occurred, or we were intercepted/captured to be a food source to those from a different dimension of the illusion. Thus I feel that not all the manufactured species within the illusion have Gods children within, meaning that Snakes do not overwhelmingly inhabit other dimensions as they do ours.

Who control at the upper echelons of the illusion? I would say there is no kingpin/boss. Semiramis done her best to maintain order out of the chaos – she done her best to get things right, but as insanity and a lust for power took her over, there was no stopping the runaway train. In terms of absolute might, she was the queen bee, but the actual power was in the hands of the indifferent parasitic frequency of Deception as it took and festered, turning most insane as they also began to want.


So that voice in your head is your spirit that is trying to make sense of, as well as fit into a frequency where it doesn’t belong. Thus all the reasoning through life-coaches or books won’t help in the long term, as the spirit needs to understand who and what it is. We know the original role of our spirit – to look after the Serpent soul within, but what we don’t know is what the spirit was like in its true/original form.

The spirit takes this question and places it within the Infinite that is within the spirit: “What am I meant to be so that I can be what I am?”

The answer will reveal itself, and until it does, the spirit remains within the stillness of the heart energy field as it understands that the answer cannot be found within the frequency of the illusion. There is too much chaos there now. We know what is within us; this Infinite, and to this we will turn for an answer.

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Live within, meaning tell the spirit to look within to the Infinite and the Serpent soul, rather than looking without to the illusion.

Everything you see without you take within so that you may play with the illusion rather than be a spectator. Now you are master; now you are no longer a slave.


There is no more advice I can give. Now you and I are in God’s hands. Just remember to always keep your side clean. Be kind. This is a natural state.

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You take the illusion and place it within you. Now you are everything, as everything is within and without you. You are now master of everything, and as you are still wet behind the ears, as in you know nothing, the Infinite that is within and without and everywhere guides you as you merely be.


This is your natural state, where everything is you and you are everything.

That is the only way you will ever be free of the illusion – where you make it your own.


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We imagine ourselves to be centre of the universe, with some level of intelligence.

Let me tell you about my day and night that I had yesterday.


Was mowing the grass yesterday afternoon, when now and then, from the corner of my eye, would see a spirit standing in the garden. This spirit stood as a pillar, as in its presence was there for a purpose.

Then yesterday evening I was sitting on the couch and I felt my heart beating at a faster pace, and there was a lightness within my abdominal cavity.

Went to bed exhausted, and during the night, while I was sleeping face down, I saw this Snake slithering just above me – it was moving around me all the time. I found it strange that the tail of this Snake was not pointed, rather it ended in a round bulb. Turned on my back to see what was going on, and through my Third Eye I saw the face of a Human-looking male that was about 30cm from my face. This was a cruel, nasty man, and he was giving a scathing verbal attack, but what I found unusual was that he was not talking to me, rather he was looking just to the left of me and talking to someone there.

Then this piece of shit disappeared and I saw a spirit that I find hard to describe. Take the face of a rhino, without the horn, and indent the face with the ears protruding at the top of the head, and you have a general idea. What was most telling about this spirit was her level of distress. I saw her stand next to me looking super-worried, and then I saw what she was worried about, and to whom the nasty man threw his tantrum at.

As my head lay on my pillow, to the left of my head was the face of a male looking rhino. The face of this spirit had a long square snout. This dude was down and out, and was seeking refuge within me. When I sat on the couch and felt that strangeness within me – this was this entity that was already within me finding solace.


So there I was, lying in bed sleeping, watching this spirit standing next to me is severe distress as she comforted this spirit that was half within me that was injured in some way or the other. With her one hand, she pushed and pushed and pushed, and then I understood that she was pushing her husband into the layers of my body forms so that he could be snug within me. Before she done this, I saw how they kissed each other – the love between these two was something special to witness.


While this whole scene was being played out next to my bed, I saw these eyes behind these spirits that were looking at them from the shadows. It was just two eyes slanted upwards with a glow within them. Cruel, sinister eyes, finding the joy of a plan that came together where two parties were fighting and destroying each other.


And here I sit on my couch writing these words, wondering what will come of my life in this day and years to come, while others in the seen and unseen are holding on for survival as they are attacked by cruel entities.

What I am trying to say is that the illusion is in a mess. What a shocker when I found out that many species will fight with everything they have to remain in this cruel, false existence. That is how the illusion has fallen, where we like a fight, where we destroy and suppress. By “we,” I imply many races within the illusion.

And here we were, thinking it was just us, and maybe a few aliens here and there in their flying objects.

The illusion is teeming with different life-forms, and from what I saw last night, there are those that have it worse than us.


Shame, and there was Steven holding his hand in the air saying “here we are, come and help us please,” not understanding the enormity and complexity of what is going on out there. Actually, it is not complex, it is just stupid beyond. Sophia and Semiramis have work to do, which will be done.


As I sit here, is there still a spirit finding solace within the layers of my illusionary forms. Yes.

And we thought it was just about us. Wow. How little do I know. What I do know, however, is that there is something bigger than all this mess, and that something is me and you and all out there that express and are their inherent goodness. The only thing we lacked was guidance as we found ourselves alone as Sophia and Semiramis; these masses of everything, found themselves floored by the density and insanity of the illusion. If this journal has done one thing, it has set them free through understanding, where the layers were peeled back so that they may remember what happened to them and what they are.


Somewhere during the goings on of last night I asked to be shown what I am – what we all are. What I felt and saw was the presence of a white horse that moved past me. Its left shoulder area brushed against me – that is all that I saw of this horse, but what was felt from this spirits presence was the answer to the question of what we are. From this horses presence a power filled me so that we may understand what we are compared to what we have been so used to. This omnipotent presence is the basic from where we should be – this is where we need to bounce up to.


So when you go into the stillness of the silence, understand there may be others within your space, that maybe are passing through finding solace/healing in you, or have been there for a long time and are a lost spirit that don’t know where to go and what to do.

In the stillness of the silence, where you just be, understand that your space needs to be filled with an omnipotent power, otherwise we are a dead-celled battery. Know what is normal and abnormal. Know that the illusion is teeming with life that we could never in wildest dreams have imagined. Know that through all of this emotional hatred that is found everywhere, that this shit will come to pass. Layer for layer, this insanity will be peeled away to reveal the Truth – that there is only Infinite Love and nothing else.

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hi. my feeling over the years was that the spirit of the species of the Human race have a unifying bond. (I cannot speak on behalf of other species out there.) deep down we understand that we are all in this together, but a truth that we fail to acknowledge, as we dont have the answer to, is why are we regressing instead of progressing? why after all this time cant we get it right?

when i asked why Life is so cruel, the answer to the question was the opening of my Third Eye to see what is, without the fancy paper wrappings. what i see is real, as in it has a direct impact on our existence, and this impact is there because we are not aware of how we are being played.


when i saw this entity tuck her husband into my space so that he can get better, my spirit never flinched by having this ogre in my space, and that is why i maintain that on the spirit level there is much love, but the disaster is that this love means nothing with understanding. we stand as one, and without knowing the truth, we fall as one, where nobody wins, regardless how strong is our love. this "come into my house - all are welcome" i took as a figurative unification, and for the life of me i never knew it to be literal. if this i never saw with my own eyes i would never have guessed we house others within our space. my question is how must it look when we interact with the frequencies around us? how does the illusion really look with us in it?


i dont think that what i see is my shadow projections, but am open to being wrong. i see the active particiapants that rule us from the shadows. what is out there is mind-boggling, and it cannot carry on doing what it has always done. these fools that hold on to their beliefs that i encounter whose sole purpose is to destroy me are so filled with insanity they cant even see what is good for them. 


that i am fucked up i have no doubt. that i am spectacular i also have no doubt - as are all those going about their business doing their best to make this world a better place.

that the spirit realm within the illusion is transforming i have no doubt, as i see what i see because more than anything i need to understand the truth. my advice to others is dont take to heart what you hear. the truth has to be your truth and not mine or someone else's. just dont be afraid of the unknown, and how this fear is overcome is by steadfastly finding what you are and where you belong, where everything else is irrelevant, especially these fools that tried to destroy.

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Within the illusion there is intent. Either your intent is good or bad. You might say that many are on the fence, where they don’t really care, well that makes them just plain useless, giving them a bad intent.

Now here is the thing: We are all inherently good, where we can be bad, but after a while we say “this isn’t me; I might not know how to stop, but what I do is not me as it is not right.” There is the Beast in the seen and unseen that are what they are, but this is the exception rather than the rule.

So by being inherently good, the illusion should have steered towards the Infinite, as this is the next logical step to what we inherently are. All of this makes common sense, because the saying that “Love conquers all” is the truth.


What the parasitic frequency of Deception done was throw the above-mentioned hypothesis out the window and created a whole new super-structure, which for me, is the ultimate cruelty, where Life is held in suspension, where we neither destruct or construct. We just be, neither progressing nor regressing in terms of where we are and where we should be. We could have fucked up, but our inherent goodness would have swinged us onto the right path again, rather we remained suspended in mid-air going nowhere.

When Queen Semiramis saw what The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created for the Dragon spirits, she too wanted such a beautiful place, so she imagined the illusionary Garden. It was merely an observation of “that is beautiful, I shall also create such a wonder,” where there was no jealousy or competing with the Jones’.

The curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits (as such an illusion was never created within the infinite) got the better of many and they entered the illusion, and this unknown state of curiosity took on a form to be what we would call a worm. I call this worm a parasite as none were the wiser to it, where this worm took to take, but the most important factor was that the frequency of this worm rubbed off of those whom it infiltrated, where they too wanted to take.


So now we get back to intent. You eventually see who has good or bad intent, and that determines the way the cookie will crumble – either we construct, as in become highly evolved, or we destruct, where we become brutes that allow pleasure to consume us, either through what we eat or what flavour we take on to shoot our bolt.

But what if there is one within the illusion that truly has no intent – it is what it is as it was created this way and knew of no other way besides being what it is? What this entity does, is in enters the illusion and hold this mirage into a fixed form, where the illusion now is what it is, where there is no other but this frequency state. Now the ball doesn’t roll up or down – it just stays in a suspensory state, so no matter how hard you want to push to be better than what you are, you stay still in a fixed position.

This is not entirely true, as within this illusion the ball has to roll, as in movement has to take place, as that is what particles/frequencies do – they move. Within this movement the Reptilian frequency took centre stage, and that is why the cruel are the powerful – why in this place Love does not conquer all.


The breakthrough for me was seeing an act of Love/Consideration, where a being that looked like a rhino tucked in one she loved within the space of my spirit and body form. The Consideration of this rhino-looking lady from another world made me understand that the unconditional Love of the spirit allows others to dwell within its space. This explains why we never sussed the parasite within us, because within our space there were others that dwelled, with no questions asked from our side, because Love is what it is – it is Considerate. When you go minimalistic and keep the bare minimum you know what is in your home/space, but with others in the room you no longer focus on the finer details.


So when I went into the space of Sophia and Semiramis earlier, it was to remove those within their space so that they may just be them and themselves. What was felt after a short period of time was this mass; this presence within and behind their left eye. This was the parasitic frequency of Deception that suspended these two omnipotent forces within the illusion, making the illusion be suspended within the Infinite.

This parasite departed their forms through the left side of their upper head, so that it may return to the place from where it arose, namely the fields of Infinite Love.


Now that state of curiosity that arose within the Infinite could return to the Infinite. And what answer did it find within the illusion where it took on form? The answer was “Infinite Love is the only Truth; everything else is an illusion.” In other words, the Infinite is everything and there is nothing else.

This understanding of the parasite within removes the parasite from the illusion – the frequency that kept us suspended, going nowhere. You see, to speak of something means nothing unless you know of what you are speaking about. In feeling the parasite within them, Sophia and Semiramis could remove it with Love to Love.

May we now no longer want.

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Yesterday evening what I asked others to do to themselves I done to myself. I went into the stillness of the silence and removed all beings from my forms. I cannot help anybody unless I first help myself. And when I want to help, as in I can help, I send those Home to the Infinite rather than them shacking up in my space.

It took three sessions totaling about half an hour to dismiss all, including the parasitic frequency of Deception. I stress that what was released from the space of the spirit were others that were compatible to me, as in like attracts like. They were friends having a hard time like me – birds of a feather that flocked together. They got on with their existence and me with mine, but we were bonded by being in the same space as this gave us a sense of security and grounding. So I may have forgotten about them and they of me, but this bond still remained – that lifeline that is always there when one cares about another.

From there went to sleep, and through the night felt parts of my body and spirit having this electric heat to them. As I lay in deep sleep I wondered what this was all about. What it was, was a buildup to what was coming. They must have used some device from their frequency/world that shocked my body, spirit and Serpent soul within. There I was lying in bed, and the next thing my body forms jerked upwards and were held in that suspensory state while this disharmonious electricity coursed through me for about five seconds. It filled all my forms to the point where I saw this static electricity as it coursed through me. I also saw the faces of the two who were at the other end administering this shock to me.

Their intent must have been to separate the body, spirit and Serpent soul where they were not working as one, meaning our natural defenses were down. I say this because throughout the night dreams were implanted and there was all this activity around me. Now they could dig in and do with me what they want.


Shame. What a bunch of sillies. The more they attack the stronger I get and the further they drift from what they naturally are. The days of playing games are coming to an end boys and girls. If you don’t know this by now then you will soon find out, and then where is it from there? When you see what you have become and what you have done what will you do? The only way out of your corner is to face yourself and what you have done.

My goodness, what a place to be. My advice is lose the self-hate and loathing asap and then get on with making a wrong right by tracing back your steps so that you may understand where it started going pear-shaped. Only understanding will get you through – self-destroying won’t.

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It is too the spirit one has to turn to transform.

Over the ages the spirit has formed an identity – it has defined itself – and this definition needs to be undone. I am not this Steven, and neither are you your name or identity. When the spirit was created, it was to be a sphere to accommodate and care for the Serpent soul – this child of God/Semiramis. The spirit was beautiful beyond, but as the illusion became more dense, and the spirit had to dig in deeper for survival, the spirit found its niche by forming an identity, as in “In this chaos, this is who I am and stand for.” Well that is absolute bollocks, because you remain what you are and not what the illusion makes you to be so that you may do your best to fit in.


When I look at some in our world, I see beauty, but this beauty is beyond the body and their spirit. What I see is a remnant of their spirit the way it should be, and what this is, is something that words cannot describe. What I see merely is. In our limited capacity we want to give this is’ness a hug, where we hold it forever, but rather don’t interact with this state – rather stand back and be it, as this is what you are. Don’t look for hero’s or role models – start being what you are.


The attacks on me are throwing me for a six – it takes a few days to recover from them now. What I need now is what I have always wanted, namely to rest and be at peace by knowing the glow of Infinite Love is bathed upon me, where no matter what, I will be okay. To sleep and to be awake and to be at peace the spirit has to cave in on itself where it loses its identity.

Last night in my sleep  state I saw through my Third Eye how this lady and her son came on their motorbike to stand guard over me as I was down and out. This lady had a knife, and she told me that she had already killed eleven with it. When the coast was all clear, the two of them got on their motorbike and road off as they knew I would be okay for the night.

The more dense the spirit becomes, the more it becomes like the body form, where it too begins to bleed or die, as we see the spirit as a solid form. This we stop doing now. We reverse the process by understanding we go back to what we originally were, which is this sphere of light. How the spirit does this reversal is by stop giving attention to what is around it.

Yesterday I paid for what I bought with a card machine. The machine did not work, meaning I could not take what I bought. What I done was stare more intently at the machine, trying to figure out what was wrong with it. Something within me was aware of this intensity that we gave to the illusion, and it said back off and stop giving so much attention to the problem.

The more intent we are, the more we give attention to the illusion, and the more we define ourselves.


Back off and let go. Lose what you are as you unravel to be what you were created to be.

10th May, 2022

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Let’s talk about forgiveness.


We were all thrown in the deep end, and none of us could swim, resulting in us making fools of ourselves.

Looking back on my life, I made a fool of myself more often than not. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t. I would give the invite a miss – thanks, but no thanks; don’t know that place; not familiar with it; good chance of me stuffing up and making a right, royal idiot of myself.

Unfortunately we were pushed into the situation; we didn’t have a choice, and what I knew would happen did – twats were made of ourselves left, right and centre as we went forwards through trial and error.


To others like us, as well as to ourselves, forgiveness is a given as we all stuffed up whilst doing our best – it’s called being Human.

Then we began to settle in and find our niche, and this is when things began to turn ugly. You see, when you stuff up others invariably get hurt in the process, and in truth there is no excuse for this as others have to be considered as we do not stay alone on an island, so what we do should always take others into consideration as they belong in the same space as us. The insanity of Life spawned from us doing the complete opposite of what we naturally are: the considerate became inconsiderate.

But we are bigger than all of this, and to forgive a fool is easy as one pities a fool as the writing is on the wall for them, which all can see, except the fool.


The forgiveness I am talking about is to forgive a Beast that destroyed you, where this vile act gave them pleasure. The self-esteem of this wasted space is so low they need the intoxicating high of seeing you destroyed, where now they are above you as you hide in your little hole with your heart and soul shattered into a billion pieces. How does one forgive such filth?

Well, let me start by saying that forgiveness is easy, really it is. You say to the guilty party, either directly or indirectly, that you are bigger than them and thus forgive them, and then you move on.

For most of us there is a clear cut line, where we either forgive or we don’t, and I believe that most of us do forgive, because to carry the burden of what was done to us as well as not forgive is too much. We throw the Beast out the basket as it is too much for us to carry.

The danger is when we sit in the middle, where we forgive, but at the same time seize every opportunity to remind those what they done to us, because truly, it was horrific. We throw it in their faces what they are so they may understand the monster they are, because only a monster does what they done. And this is the only coping mechanism we have, where we say “look at what you done to me.”


This is not forgiveness, because forgiveness means we get up and get on with Life, and to show the monster the scars it inflicted upon you is not getting on with Life.

So how do these victims forgive? Of course there are often two sides to a story, as we are all not perfect, but because you are a fool doing your best, nothing gives another the right to destroy you. (Just remember, I am taking it one further, where those that destroy enjoy destroying, and this is not deep stuff as in those from the shadows or dystopic secret societies – it can be something as plain and simple as one such as my wife.)


How do you forgive a tyrant that destroys you because they feed from the high of seeing you in the low?

For me, such forgiveness is not possible as there is no reasonable answer to explain insanity, because to get a thrill from destroying another one has to be insane.

This I accept, that one cannot truly forgive what was done as the act crossed the line to savagery and barbarism, but where too from there? I refuse to spend the rest of my life being miserable for what was done to me. (The logical step, which everyone takes, is divorce, as what one seldom sees one soon forgets about, and this makes sense, as why be around others that enjoyed destroying you.) But surely there has to be another answer, and for me, that answer is to heal what was done to you. This healing comes from one that is bigger than us, and whom this is, is our spirit as it sheds away the old so that it may reveal what it naturally is.


How do you forgive a Beast? – By removing the pain that the Beast inflicted upon you. Your spirit lets go of the bad, as well as the good – all that was done to it. Just let go. Don’t try and figure things out as there is no answer/understanding to insanity.  

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As the spirit starts to lose its identity, where it returns to what it should be; this sphere of light, what happens is the spirit becomes less dense, and what this means in simple English is the spirit drifts away from those from the shadows and dense realms that always preyed on the spirit and Serpent soul.

Now the ball begins to roll towards unity and Love, and with each passing moment the spirit starts to experience and be more of what it is. 


This has taken a long, long time to happen, where there is movement of the illusion from stagnancy towards movement in the direction where we all belong, away from the space of preying Beasts. What awful lows had to be reached in my life before this process finally took momentum and direction. I can slander my wife all I like, but the reality is I could never have done it without her support. Anybody else would have kicked this useless Steven out a long time ago, but she was always there supporting me and the family, especially financially. Without her the illusion would have carried on going from bad to worse, compared to the direction where it is going now.

This was a group effort, with the animals spearheading the process.

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This is what one does (if you wish it so):

·        If you go without, you enter the illusion where you are played. If you go within, the body follows the spirit, and the spirit leads the body by taking the lead of the Serpent soul within, and the Serpent soul takes the lead from the Infinite. So go within until you are all connected to the Infinite.

·        But let us back-track first before we go within, so that we may understand the process of what is happening as we go within. Imagine your spirit as a mannequin; a puppet, and we do this imagining  to understand the spirit has no mind and thoughts, rather the spirit/mannequin is made up of the essence of the Infinite (The strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness within.) What happens is this essence transforms the mannequin to be what it originally was, namely a sphere of light.

·        Now the spirit is breaking shape/identity and returning to what it naturally is.

·        As this happens, the body form connects to the spirit within, and as the spirit transforms, so does the body form by being pulled within. Remember: each are being pulled within to be what they naturally are.

·        Now body, spirit and Serpent soul are linked together – all to the Infinite within – to be what they naturally are.


When you heal others, or a building, the environment, or an animal, you picture this link that is now within them so that body, spirit and Serpent soul may understand that within is what is real and to where they are gravitating.

This understanding makes them less dense which pulls them from the claws of those within the illusion that played/destroyed them. From this space – away from Beasts in the seen and unseen – they may heal and return to what they are.


This afternoon I walked into the classroom of my youngest daughter and it felt like my body and brain just walked into a microwave oven set on grill mode. Does a building have a Serpent soul – I don’t know, but what I do know is there are Serpents everywhere that set up house somewhere to launch their attack on those in the area. So let’s, for safely sake, assume that within buildings there is a Serpent, and if so, the Serpent steers towards the Infinite. If it does not wish to do so, then it enters the dense plane of the illusion away from where you are taking the building.


The trick in healing is to remove the subject or object away from the cause of the problem, namely the density of the illusion, so that the healing may begin and be complete, where with each passing moment they get closer and closer to what they naturally are.

For yourself, understand this process of all going within is constantly playing out – if you wish this so. Like a tornado you pull those around you to where they naturally belong – of course only if they wish to.

The point to make is now there is a definite separation between pure Love and disharmony. The two cannot co-exist, just as oil and water cannot mix together. May we all gravitate to what naturally is – namely this Infinite Love.


May our lives never be the same again, as with all Life within the illusion.

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This morning as I lay in bed I went into the frequency of my property to offer healing. Pain and discomfort was felt over my kidney area, meaning the energy of the property was null and void as the kidneys represent storage of our energy.

Then I went into the space of the illusion with the same intent, and I felt my eyes go for a loop, as in there was serious disharmony there. This I found most interesting, as what it told me was that the illusion had regressed to a state where it could no longer see, as in what is right and wrong, what is sane and insane, and what is cruel and what is not.

This is what happens when, as you fall you can no longer fathom what is up or down or left or right – you just continue to lose yourself as you fall. But it goes deeper than that.


In the past few months I had this fear of looking at my two back tyres. I suspected they were worn out and needed replacing. This was the problem. The cause of the problem was from driving a lot – being a moms-taxi for the kids. The answer to the problem was to get two new tyres, and this answer involved money, which I didn’t have, so I avoided the problem as I had no solution/answer to the problem. In other words, I just pretended the problem wasn’t there, but of course knowing well it was there, but this suppression was the only answer I had to the problem.

“Well Steven, work harder to get more money to solve the problem!” It was that money was the problem, but the issue was that I never had the means to make money as myself and the System were not compatible, but this is not a debate that interests me. What I would like to highlight is the big picture, namely the illusion lost its sight because it never saw a way out of the mess it was in, and that for me is extremely sad. Yes, there may be a rotten apple in every barrel, but the goodness of the rest of the barrel supersedes and encompasses the bad so that all may flourish. It is irrelevant what the parasitic frequency of Deception was to the illusion because look at the illusion in comparison to what was within and around it. Stand on a beach and look at the beach until you see it touch the horizon. Now bend down and pick up one grain of sand, and that grain is the illusion compared to all the other grains on sand on the beach - the Infinite. How that might of the Infinite cannot engulf that grain of sand is impossible, unless the grain of sand cannot see what it has become and where it belongs.


Why could it not see? – Because it never had an answer to the problem of why were those within the illusion going insane. This Life-form; this illusion, must have looked and looked, but what happens when you cannot find – you just carry on doing your best, because what else can you do? Can you imagine the core distress this illusionary frequency field had as it got on with survival wondering when the death blow will fall. In this situation, what more can you do but continue to fall?

The disaster for the illusion was that the cause of the problem was not to be found within the illusion, but rather within the Infinite and the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits. Tell this curiosity that developed into a parasitic life-form within the illusion that Infinite Love is the only truth, then this Life-form disappears and as does the illusion. All that then remains is those that hold onto their illusionary houses of cards that they have worked so hard to keep, as look, “it’s mine – it defines me.”


For those from deep within the shadows with their glowing eyes, what more is there to do but enjoy the destruction of others and ultimately themselves as there is no answer to what they have become and where they have ended up.

There’s no way Home so let’s go out with a bang!


Why didn’t the Infinite intervene? I would say it did – many times. We weren’t interested. Life is shit – but it’s okay. The problem is how low do we have to fall before it’s not okay? I would say we are already there; at rock-bottom – we just don’t know it yet. Is our next metamorphosis to become and live amongst zombies? Almost there brother and sister – almost there.


Next time the Infinite gives you a free passage back Home, take it. Don’t fret about missing the game on Saturday or breakfast at Tiffany’s.

The illusion can now see, and so can we. Use it or lose it – and everything else.

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This morning I woke up from the night’s sleep and felt the presence of something unfamiliar within me.  I didn’t know what it was – it was just there, and I needed to understand this presence within me.

What it was, was the return of the Dragon soul. This dude was back to once again be in the presence of the Serpent soul.


So what is the character of the Dragon soul? That’s an easy one to answer.

The actor Robin Williams was known for his over-the-top comedy acting, as well as moments when his deep, insightful truths reminded us what is really important in our existence.

As an actor he played these fun roles, but in his life he lacked this fountain of joy. What he lacked – as we all did – was the Dragon soul. This soul is your cuddly bear that just wants to have fun and make sure you are always warm – through peace and comfort.


A while back I went into the space of the Dragon souls to try and determine where they are and what happened to them. What I felt was the presence of beautiful, thick, healthy water – this was the place where they were.

Within last week I was sitting outside on the bench when a mist covered my sight and I saw another reality make itself known to me. It was Queen Semiramis standing before me. She came to ask me where were the Dragon souls. My thought projection was that I didn’t know, but maybe my spirit did.


When the illusionary Garden fell apart on a huge literal scale, the Dragon and Serpent spirits fell into a suspended slumber, and the Dragon and Serpent souls – the ones cloned from the spirits – continued to fall.

I said that there was a battle between the two, and the Serpent souls won, hence our part of the illusion is teeming with Serpent souls and the Dragon souls are missing.

It was until this morning, when I met the Dragon soul, that I could understand what really happened between the two souls.

The one wants to be a stickler for the rules and do things properly, and the other is more about having fun and being at peace with yourself and where you are. Think Baloo and Bagheera and you have a general idea.  So the “fight” was more a difference in character than the blood and gore we would imagine. The Dragon souls wanted nothing of this “who’s the boss? – I am!” game from the Serpent souls and left to find an existence within the illusion that was compatible to them.

The bugger up for us was that now there was no balance, where eventually everyone wanted to be the boss and right while the fun and joy and contentment of Life was thrown out the window.

This is why the children stopped playing a long time ago – they missed the company of the Dragon soul within. And it is why we all couldn’t wait to grow up and be adults – so we may fill this gap in our space with plastic toys and cheap thrills – things that money could buy to fill this absence of this larger than life Dragon soul.


Am thankful that the Dragon souls are back in the existence of the Serpent soul and the illusion at large. Their presence is a welcome breath of fresh air and fun to a grey existence where one had to go and find the joy that seldom came naturally.

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In terms of going within, picture sand caving in on itself as it passes through an hourglass.

In interacting with the illusion, we were like a cannon shooting its ball, where our gloves were up as we looked for a safe passage through the maze of the illusionary Life.


The structure that took the most dedication, as in the most work where it eventually fell in on itself as it went within towards the Infinite was the head area, as there were thought patterns/opinions that formed a rigid structure. Grass is green; as I grow old my body becomes more frail; that person is an idiot; I love what alcohol does for me; I am a poor man; it is cold outside; the sky is blue. These are a few of the standard settings that define our limited Life, but what seriously held these structures in place was our repeated thoughts. When I am in the shower, like clockwork I will call my one dog. What I am doing is reaching the pinnacle of my Life, which is what I think of the animals. This was the ceiling of my existence within my spirit and body form – this Love for those that Love me. The other ceilings would be thinking of a funny moment I had with a friend (either real or imaginary moment.) And of course the many other ceilings that come my way as I pass through Life each day: trust no one; it’s every fucker for themselves; first impressions are often wrong, etc.


These repeated thoughts and indoctrinations build a framework within us that kept us limited within a limited existence, and not only within me, but all within the illusion. By these structures falling in on themselves in Sophia and Semiramis and Earl, it paved the way to fall in within all of us – should we wish this to happen to us, as some are at peace living, and at the same time doing nothing to better themselves and Life around them.

When I felt the patterns break as they fell in on themselves in the above-mentioned entities, my first feeling was “at last freedom.” Now the box and what was in the box is no more.

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  • 2 weeks later...

On the north shore of the Hawaii island Maui one can find the Jaws waves – these 70 foot towers of water that surfers ride.

Since moving to our new home over the last week it has felt that I have ridden and been tumbled by these mammoth waves non-stop. We have moved from country to suburban, and the constant noise of traffic has shut out the silence that is my lifeline in this beautiful yet insane world. I would say that my worst fear – living constantly around noise – has materialized, and yet through this nightmare there is something one needs to understand.


My ideal is to live amongst the silence of a desert, where it is just me and the sound of my breathing. The disaster with this setup is that the silence is my crutch in Life – I cannot live without it. Take away this silence and I am a broken man as now there is nothing left to hold me upright.

My mantra over the last week is “I cannot be defined.” Whenever a thought comes into my head the thought is made null and void by the understanding of one cannot be defined.


Imagine a flash drive and a computer server wherein the flash drive docks itself into. The spirit can be likened to the flash drive and the illusion to the server. You plug into the illusion and you decide on your likes and dislikes – yes, yes, no, okay that me, definitely not me. Now pull out the flash drive and voila – that’s you; your own, special unique you. But remember, for you to be you, you need an interface, as in you have to interact and react with something, namely the illusion. So you can only be your unique you as long as you are plugged into the illusion.

When something bigger than me says to me “one cannot be defined,” what this implies is that the flash drive/spirit is no longer plugged into the server/illusion. I have no set character and likes and dislikes. In other words, spontaneity drives me and not a rigid “this is who I am.”


Think in terms of waves and frequencies and not solid structures so that you may understand what is going on. When our spirit became plugged into the illusion we developed a character/personality, in other words the “I” was born, as in “this is me.” The other day when I asked where is the core of our personality, what was felt was this frequency band-wave coursing through the marrow area of our left leg and thigh. So what the mantra “I cannot be defined” does, is rule out this frequency band within this area where our defining personality arises from.

Do you understand why the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness at our throat area is null and void, as in useless? It is because within the illusion we have to make our mark in order to survive. In other words, we need to slot into the System, and for this to happen we need the “I,” as in how can I help you so that you may help me so that an exchange of materialism may take place so that one may “move forwards” by collecting so that we may have and hoard.

The personality has taken over the strand because within the illusion the personality, as in the “I,” is the currency of exchange that matters. To be within the illusion is impossible unless you don’t mind you and your loved ones having nothing, except maybe a cardboard box to sleep in on the side of the road. A good heart counts for a lot in my books, especially in terms of one of the building blocks to happiness, but within the illusion this special trait is so often eaten up alive – many cases literally, especially within the world of nature and the animals.


So what is the answer? How do you live within the illusion and at the same time have peace and happiness within the illusion?

Go back to the example of flash drive/spirit and computer server/illusion. Now replace your personality trait with the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness located at your throat area. If you plug in your personality into the illusion you will always get was you always got, which was a disaster as you never saw the big picture. By replacing the “me” with the strand within, the strand plugs into the illusion and brings forth what is best for you, as the strand sees the illusion in its entirely and of course what is beyond the illusion, namely the fields of Infinite Love.

The trick is to remain indifferent to the good and bad, and how this is done is by the personality always being governed by the mantra “one cannot be defined.” This Steven has changed in that I have become more pleasant and at peace because spontaneity is a natural expression from the heart energy field.


Nineteen years ago we moved home to a place where my two children were born. That home was all they knew up till last weekend when we moved to where we are currently located. The move was stressful and rocked each one of us to our core, and yet I know that I have to move again as I cannot live in this beautiful home that has a river flowing through its front garden. Am I being picky; don’t I know what I want? No, what was found was through four years of searching every day for a home. What was found was the best that Steven could get – that this personality called “me” could get. Now that this personality is no more and the strand remains, let’s see what the strand can do to help.


In helping others, allow the strand within them to come to the fore where it takes over the spirit/personality/I so that the strand may see the big picture, where it has the means and know-how to do what is best for us within the illusion.

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  • 3 weeks later...

So what is the answer? What is the answer to the request for help, where something bigger than us not only has our backs, but takes the responsibility one step further and only gives us the best. Simply put: How do we live a joyous, full life?


Well, let’s first and foremost look at ourselves. Firstly, wish for your happiness so that it may be infectious, where you make others also happy, and secondly, at all times, obey the one cardinal rule where you respect yourself and thus respect others.

By keeping our side clean we can be open for Life to look at and uplift us. When we say “Life” we need to be specific, and what this means is we need to ask “Who’s the boss; who is the captain; who is the rudder and keel of our existence?” The answer is the Serpent soul within. We the spirit and body form do not know enough because we have been limited by the density of the illusion.

The trick is to know that spirit and body form know nothing, so take your hands off the steering wheel and shift to the passenger seat. Now you the spirit and body form are no longer in control, and most importantly, now there are no longer three bosses – there is only one boss, the Serpent soul within. Please understand we the spirit and body form do not have the capacity to see the big picture, so let’s be shown the way rather than bumping our heads through trial and error.


Over fifteen years ago I walked up to a horse to treat it, and I saw a speck of Light suspended against this horses side. I never knew what I saw, namely this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness from the fields of Infinite Love, but what I saw stopped me in my tracks. Something within me understood that I know nothing of nothing, and thus I must start over again with a blank slate. I began to learn from the spirit of the animals – I began to learn from this strand within them, where I may eventually see the big picture as to why a God’s/Semiramis’ love became a twisted, cruel love. What happened that we were all now born with the capacity to become Beasts?

This we all understand now, but what me the spirit and body form cannot do is charter a course through this maze of Life so that we may be happy and at peace 24/7. So what we do now is once again become humble, where we understand that we cannot see the full picture; where we don’t have the foresight to lead a full Life and touch as many as we can in the short time the body form is alive. In a nutshell, we knowingly and willingly surrender to the Serpent soul within to lead the way. This Serpent within leads the spirit and body form and we are open to what we receive – there is nothing limiting us as we are now the receiver and not the controller.

So be it.

12th June, 2022.


What comes at night time during my sleep state is subtle, as in there is a refinement to them. Those that come to feed from the slave Steven have a fine-dining experience – they savour each bite of the energy that I gave off from giving attention to their implanted dream, and live in the moment of what they are experiencing.

So this morning as I lay in bed I asked the obvious question: “What makes us a slave species?” The answer came with a feeling I have felt before that I could never understand.


The curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits within the fields of Infinite Love took on a form within the illusionary Garden. That form we came to know as the parasitic frequency of Deception – a worm that takes as this is all it knows. The want of this worm rubbed off on us, where we too wanted, never understanding this drive within us to take.

The frequency band of this parasite is located on the spirit level at the left corner of your mouth, extending down to the jawline. This was there, and I say so as I felt on many times this force that turned the illusion upside down and inside out. What I also felt now and then was another parasitic band that extended down from the corner of the right side of your mouth extending down to the jawline. I never understood what I was feeling and so dismissed what was so blatantly on the spirit that should not be there. Now I understand.


Everything within the illusion, in the seen and unseen, is energy – as in frequencies vibrating. You want to suppress something; to hold it down, then regulate how much energy it has. In those early days, before the illusionary Garden went tits up, the want of the unknown parasite within turned vessels of Love into treacherous Beasts. Those fuckers that turned on the deity that I call Earl pinned him down and kept him there by diffusing small white worms into his form that took his energy until he had none. You want to keep someone down – drain their energy till you have them where you want them, which in most cases is docile and weak. All we were given energy wise was to scratch on the surface and enjoy the pleasures of Life – there was nothing within us to dwell deeper and ask the question “oiy, what’s going on here?”

By now you must have guessed how we became a slave species: they made a duplicate of the parasite that extended down the left side of our mouth and placed this frequency on the other side of our mouth – something like Dracula’s fangs that sunk into the spirit and body form to take of our energy. Now we were flat on our backs as these cruel, despicable Beasts came to feed from us as we were helpless to their ways. (Remember: what those in the unseen do to us we do to the animals – we take of their Life-force; we eat them so that we may survive. These fuckers from the unseen are bad, but before we get all emotional and upset look in the mirror – we are the same as them.)


Yesterday this energy-sapper worm frequency was removed from the corner of my right mouth by knowing it was there and understanding its purpose. This understanding raises us above the problem where it is no longer within our existence.

Last night in my sleep state I saw this vile Human-looking monster. It was the face of a thin man with a fair complexion. He pulled his face in anger towards me as my energy superseded his, preventing him from entering my space and doing with me as he pleases.

14 & 15 June, 2022


This journal has been a big part of my life. To say that I could handle those merciless, cruel Beasts from the shadows that I experienced during my sleep state would be a lie, because if it was not for me becoming immune to their poison I would have been a goner a long time ago.

It was those in the seen – my own; my fellow species that rattled and shook and fucked me up. I expected more from my own. First-hand encounters with savages were moments that cut me deep. This streak is in many – this privilege to be cruel, where we feel that because Life is unfair we have the right to lose our integrity and hurt others. Wow, how did we end up losing our conscience? How do we get up every morning and believe that our Life will be okay after all we have done and said? This is something that cannot be understood, where we do and say what we want when we want because we can, and we imagine there are no consequences. This warped mentality is from dwelling in the space of insanity, where we have lost touch with reality and the basics of what is real and true, namely our good hearts; our integrity; our honour; our joy of being nice as this is what we naturally are.


Over the last eight years Beasts in the unseen tried their best to destroy or possess me, while during my waking state my own took advantage of my humble and good heart by lashing out and releasing their frustrations on this egoless Steven. To experience the raw Beast within my species is something one never wants to face as there is no understanding or reasoning to the insanity that has taken so many over. Cruel, horrible people.


Where I am going with this narrative of self-pity is what has been hammered to me from the start, middle and end of the journal, and that is the state of silence. I could never really make sense of this silence story where I embrace it and make it my own – that is, until recently.

Your thoughts are the body form and spirit as they interact with the illusion and try make sense of it. This is a dangerous game and place to be in – the everlasting chatter of the mind.

The silence is the presence of the Serpent soul within. When you are in the silence, the Serpent soul is driving the vehicle of the spirit and body form, as well as the illusion itself. To be in the silence call forth the presence of the Serpent soul within, and when you are silent; where there are no thoughts within, that is this omnipotent presence within that is guiding and performing miracles for the spirit and body form. When this happens; when this silence becomes a habit, Life becomes pleasant, as now you are on a path that is filled with contentment. There is however one massive pitfall, and that is when Life becomes good we the spirit and body form come to the fore and take over the wheel from the Serpent soul within. “Wow, I am good!”

Wrong! Bad idea! It was never you or your pompous ego – it was the one within who sees and knows all – the Serpent soul whose path is to remove all traces of the illusion so that all that remains is the strand of Godness within that embraces the fields of Infinite Love within and without.


So always know your place. We all need help, so take it by embracing the stillness of the one within who knows and wants only the best for and from you.

16 June, 2022


How it started was by me contacting this lady who had passed on herbs to help me with my health that was taking a strain from the stress of moving. This lady guides her pendulum over a list of herbs, and when the pendulum swings over a specific herb she knows the person or animal needs that herb. What your frequency/body lacks the herbs make up for, so what her herbs do are fill in the gaps of our depleted frequency/energy system.

I contacted her to thank her for her help. Within a day of taking her herbs they done what other holistic medication could not do that was taken for weeks. Then I thought to myself: how can the gaps in our frequency field be naturally restored? In asking this question I could stand back and see with clarity as to whom this journal has helped and who still needs help.


What was written was for the Serpent soul to remember what happened before the beginning of time. What happened that everything went pear-shaped? Why did the Love of Semiramis become twisted? Why did those manufactured spirits and species become so vile? What happened to the Creator that she became knocked for a six and fell debilitated on her back, unable to get up?

We understand all of this, or at least the Serpent soul and those in the spirit realm who want to understand do. Now what about the spirit and body form – how can they be helped? When this question was asked and I went into the stillness of the silence, what was felt was an incomplete band around my neck. The beautiful necklace of energy that should be there was not whole.


“Ask, and you shall receive.” Great, but ask who?

Ask the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness at your throat area, and with this light shining – by knowing it is there, and always keeping your integrity/good heart intact – this light brings forth what is needed to make spirit and body form complete.

But this asking is not really necessary – if anything it is primitive, as the Serpent soul knows what is best for spirit and body form. So when you pray; when you go into the silence for yourself or others, pray/ask the Serpent soul to heal the frequency band of the spirit and body form, which is represented by this necklace/band around the neck of the spirit that is one with the strand of Godness.

So when I pray for you, what I am doing is guiding your Serpent soul to go into the silence so that it may just be, and from there the strand harmonizes the frequency band around the neck of the spirit that is the spirit so that it may be complete, as in whole. The spirit then aligns/illuminates the body form as the spirit returns to its original form it was manufactured to be, namely a spherical vessel of Love.


So in the silence, be it for yourself or others, do nothing, as understanding of what should happen takes centre stage and plays out as it should. Namely the Serpent soul comes to the fore to be, and from there the Serpent soul aligns the spirit by awakening it to the strand of Godness at the throat area. The strand heals/aligns/makes the frequency necklace of the spirit complete, and then the spirit and body form and Life as we know it merely is.

What I am trying to say through all of that clap-trap is that the spirit and body form are a hologram. The core of the hologram is a frequency band/necklace. Shine the strand on the necklace to make it, namely the spirit complete, and when the spirit knows what it is, it returns to what is real, namely the strand. At that moment all are free and the illusion is no more.


To maintain/keep this state be in the silence whenever possible so that the Serpent soul may guide the ship and the strand may do its job. Now Life unfolds as it should because you are. Now the current of the strand is taking you along the path of least resistance with maximum benefit. Remember to always be humble, which is another way of saying always be at peace with yourself.

19th June, 2022

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My wife has been offish the last few days, as in not feeling well. This morning I went into her space to see if I could help. What I felt was something I have not felt before – I felt the “death”/departure of her Serpent soul within. It was a strange sensation to behold, this departure of the Serpent/kundalini within, where it was closing off on this frequency to be reborn to where it belongs.

This was the big picture that I never knew about, where the original creation/manufacturing of our spirit was to house the “children” of God/Semiramis until the dust settled and Semiramis was in a position to once again be at peace and thus one with her own, namely the Serpent spirits and souls. Wow, does the departure of the Serpent souls from their cocoon within our spirit mark this new dawn? The question one has to ask is what will happen to us the spirit and body form? When you uplift those that can help us, namely The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and Queen Semiramis and those deities around them, what you do is uplift all, and that includes us the spirit and body form. It is fair to say that Life as we knew it will never be the same again. Having a good heart and expressing it will make this shift smooth, whereas being cruel will result in this shift being an upheaval, but honestly this is just my opinion. What is coming I cannot comment on.


May Life as we knew it never be the same again. Something had to shift, where we return to the Source, namely the strand of Godness/Goodness within that arose from the fields of Infinite Love. The party of being callous and cruel could not go on forever. May we start seeing Life for what it should be, which is an expression of the stillness of the silence of the Infinite. In nothing; in silence there is everything, as from the Source which is Nothing comes Everything. When you experience this you will know exactly what I am talking about.


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One can point fingers at the parasitic frequency of Deception for creating a want in us, but there was also foul play at hand from those from the shadows, where a take was created within us. You see, we had to take in order to survive.

It was around 2015 that Pierre Sabak sent me an extract of his yet to be published book. If I can recall, I told him that the spirit was branded, and he confirmed this through his own findings. So once again, here is what Pierre sent me:


“Brandishing angels quotation from my upcoming book Holographic Culture.


‘In light of the fact that Michael is deemed to be a ‘Prince of the Host’, the wordplay ‘Mikiel’ (who is like God?) is it would seem a slight of hand and is a covert acknowledgement of the angelic lineage. There are however further possible interpretations. The cognomen ‘Michael’ is perhaps better transliterated as ‘mi-kiy-El’ (loosely a flaming God), a title that infers a strong affiliation between an ‘angel’ and a ‘deity’ otherwise an ‘Elohim’ and their cohorts the ‘seraphim’. The novel idea that ‘Michael’ is actually an ‘Elohim’ is a straight forward argument when carefully scrutinised and is furthermore an aspect found encoded in his name, listed below:

Registered the interrogative pronoun ‘mi’ (who, whom, from, out of) is incorporated with the verb ‘kiya’ (to brand, scar or burn), from the prime root ‘kviya’ (to burn). The conjunct ‘mikya’ (from or whom burns) is affixed with the name ‘El’ the abbreviation of ‘Elohim’ generically (a God). Significantly the incorporation of the title ‘El’ (God) assumes in a literal sense that the ‘angel’ is a ‘God’ or a ‘deity’ and is substantiated in the Aramaic. Relative the epithet ‘Elohim’ (the lofty or shining ones) is a designation honorific of the (Gods) and is a word interchangeable in the original dialect with (an angel). For example ‘El’ (a God) is used typically to signify angelic names, for example Raphael, Samael, Uriel, Gabriel etc…

Careful deliberation therefore suggests that the appellation ‘Mi-kiy-El’ can be interpreted as (whom or from the God that burns) in a figurative sense a ‘manifestation’. The phrase additionally infers consternation as demonstrated in the emphatic translation (who is this God that stigmatises Greek ‘stigma’ to brand with a pointed instrument).

As with the ‘seraphim’ e.g. ‘srefa’ (fire) the connotation is of a ‘flaming angel’ a ‘seraph’ an entity that marks his adversaries. ‘Michael’s epithet in the original nuance is therefore presumed to be a ‘conqueror’ and is considered to be an ‘Elohim’ or ‘God’ in his own right. Consistent with the Semitic tendency towards paronomasia the angel ‘Michael’ brandishes ‘makel’ (a staff, rod or stake). The analogy of the ‘inflamed brand’ draws inference to the angelic ‘kerubim’ Hebrew ‘kherev’ (a sword). An armed soldier, representational of the host the kerubim angel is depicted in biblical symbolism, Genesis Chapter 3 Verse 24 as carrying a ‘flaming sword’, and impresses a fiery weapon that induces burns. (The concept of the lighted brand is also implied in Sura 8 ‘Al-Anfal’ Battle Gains Verse 12, refer to introductory quote) in which the victims of Badr display strange brandishing marks:

‘Your Lord revealed to the angels: “I am with you: give the believers firmness; I shall put terror into the hearts of the disbelievers. Strike above their necks and strike their fingertips.” That was because they opposed God and His Messenger, and if anyone opposes God and his Messenger, God punishes them severely” That is what you get! Taste that!” – and the torment of the Fire awaits the disbelievers… It was not you who killed them but God: God is all seeing and all knowing’.

M.A.S Abdel Haleem, Qur’an, Oxford University Press, Sura 8 ‘Al-Anfal’ Battle Gains) Verse 12

In Sura 8 Mohammed cites Allah’s ultimate superiority, in which God is not above killing and using his army to rout or dispose of his adversaries. The Islamic annalist Al Bukhari archives the presence of the angelic host and their destruction at Badr. Dramatic, the account of Bukhari is gleaned from his witness Ar-Rabi bin Anas, who notes the following points:

‘On the day of Badr people could see those who had been slain by the Angels among the dead by the blows above their necks and on their fingertips which looked as fire had burnt them’.

Badar Azimabadi, The World of Angels, p70

Pierre Sabak, Holographic Culture, Serpentigena Publications 2016,”


Yesterday I watched Icke’s video regarding the Rockefellers and the looming food crisis. Those I see in my sleep state primarily come to feed from my energy, as they come to you to feed from yours, so this whole scenario of eating to survive, for me, goes deeper than shoving something in your mouth to crap it out, and in between absorbing the energy of what you ate so that we may survive. Take this back a few notches and you will understand that it is about hand-outs, in other words we the spirit are totally dependent, meaning we do not have the means to look after ourselves, where we may stand within ourselves and have everything and thus require nothing.

As always, I am open to be wrong, but for me I feel that this branding at our fingertips shut down an energy pathway to what we would call the spirits “brain” area, and this shut us down from independence to dependence. If you cut your hand there is an immediate neural message to the brain to fix the problem, so the brain sends input back to heal the wound. On some patients that have had chronic joint restrictions there is a flat spot on the brain, where the brain tries to heal the problem but cannot, so that part of the brain that serves that part of the body shuts down. Now we have a flat spot on the brain, and any healer worth their salt will be consciously aware to awaken this flat spot as well as heal the injured area on the body.


The branding of the spirits fingertips was to shut off a part of the spirit so that the spirit could not operate as an independent unit. Now we were at the mercy of those above us for hand-outs.

The question to ask is “having known about this for over seven years, why only now can this dependence be healed to independence?” The most logical answer is too much had to be cleared away and understood before we could stand within ourselves and begin to no longer want and have to take. I no longer write about what I experience in my sleep state, as the focus is to remove the layers to heal all. Each day I go into the stillness of the silence to heal those who can heal us, and this, bit by bit, returns us to where we belong. You see, Life cannot go on the way it always has – this is something I refuse to accept as normal. That others suffer is not okay – it is not natural. So between removing the poisoned acupuncture “needles” that people intentionally place into our Earths energy field to lock us into disharmony; to making the frequency of the illusion less dense; to whatever else was needed, this illusion will be filled with the natural state from the fields of Infinite Love. Our independence from the System is a vital cog in this wheel – remember I am talking about the spirit.


Also understand that wanting and taking are subjective, where they apply to our specific needs. Some are content living in isolation, whereas others need the city-life to stay alive. You find your specific needs to find a peace within you, where at all times you consider others as well as yourself, and from this platform know and be yourself.

Yesterday I went to a hardware store up the road for the first time. The energy in the place was awful, and for hours after leaving I was still rattled, yet to those working there they loved the place. Different strokes for different folks.


In finding your independence by allowing the branding at your fingertips to be no more, from there find peace within and without.  

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So what happened that Life became cruel?

Three factors were at play: The first happened in the realm of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia; the second happened in the fields of Infinite Love; the third happened in the illusionary Garden of Semiramis.

·        The Wisdom Goddess Sophia fell from her realm. (As described in John Lash’s Synopsis of the Fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia.)

·        The curiosity of the Serpent and Dragon spirits as to what else is there in the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis. (This curiosity took on a form within the illusion that became known as the parasitic frequency of Deception. This worm created a want within all within the illusion.)

·        Those within the illusion knew something was amiss, as in they were in a place where they didn’t belong, and this created an uncertainty within all.

It was those three factors that caused Life to become cruel – a fall; curiosity; and uncertainty.


During the early hours of this morning as I lay awake in bed, I asked where has this uncertainty manifested within us? When this question was asked, I felt this black mass swirling around within the marrow of my left pelvic bone. This mass stayed there, but it also settled within the bony orbit of the left eye.

This uncertainty is within all within the illusion – this gaping, swirling “hole” that can only be filled through understanding that it is there and what caused it to be there in the first place.


Now here is the thing: With uncertainty within us, we forgot how to Love – all of us. In other words, we forgot how to express what we naturally are, namely this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness, that is once again within all within the illusion.

What we forgot we had to replace with something anew – something that we would describe as sins. You see, we had to fill this gap within us – this swirling mass of uncertainty – so we tried the macabre to fill what we had forgotten – this strand from the Source of the Infinite.


I have known about the fall and the curiosity and the uncertainty for some time now, but I never knew what state this uncertainty took within us, where we grasped on nonsense hoping to fill this gap to find peace.


Remove this black swirling mass; this Uncertainty from your left pelvic area by knowing it is there and how it got to be there. In its place shine the presence of the strand of Godness at our throat area. Now you will no longer look – no longer seek this something that was always in your midst – this presence of the Infinite. Know that this is all there is; that there is only Infinite Love.

And lastly, forgive the Creator Sophia for falling. It was an accident – a simple, innocent accident that snowballed into an illusionary Hell. May we all depart this place that is not Home and return to where we belong.


We are naturally Love, and we naturally belong with the fields of Infinite Love.

04:18 on 29/06/2022


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On Sunday morning went with the family for breakfast at a nearby restaurant. The place was busy, and as I sat waiting for our food, I watched the patrons around me eating their food with relish.

The previous night in my sleep state a dream was implanted of me meeting a young boy – he was from a different world. The purpose of this boy was to bring forth aggression. My spirit immediately began giving him a few serious backhands. I remember tossing him around – doing whatever I could to release this aggression within me towards this wasted space.

Then I awoke from the implanted dream and saw those who had implanted it. There were about three of them as well as each ones mounted ride – these working animals are hard to describe.

What I will never forget is the look on each ones face as they took large bites of the energy accumulated around my head from me following their implanted dream. Wow, with each bite of my energy they were in seventh heaven.


Now compare those that come in the night to feed from our energy, to us that eat from the plants and animals. We are the same, in that eating is a huge part of our existence in that it keeps us alive.

We the Human race are a slave species, where we are kept in our koops – as the shaman Matus rightly said – so that despicable entities may feed from us. What makes our plight even worse is that we have to pay for our food.

I lay awake in bed after this fanfare had departed, and the first thing that came to mind was what part of me exists that is so aggressive, where I could unleash such violence on another. I understood it was not me – it was the programmed dream they implanted that stimulated/simulated an aggressive response.


What I am getting at is there is a destructive cycle within the illusion, namely “take to make sure you are okay.” Yes, we give thanks for what we receive – or at least I do – but in the big picture this giving thanks means nothing for the blood that is spilt and the lives lost so that we may thankfully sit around a table and be joyous from what we eat. And for those of you that are taking out their “bunny-hugger” label for Steven, what we don’t understand is what we do to the animals others do to us. We are also used as sex-slaves by those from the shadows – this I have often seen and felt. Words cannot describe the sense of shame and helplessness as one goes through this abuse so that Beasts may have their orgasm.

And even with us, how important is the orgasm to us?


We are caught up in a destructive, negative loop where we live for the pleasures of now rather than finding eternal peace for ourselves.

What I am writing now was most probably written within the first week of starting this journal. My goodness me, and how much has been seen and written about between now and then. It was always the intent of finding a way out of this mess. Is there something else we have to understand to be free from the illusion? I don’t know. What I do know is that we are caught up in the smog cloud and need help from an outside source – someone who can see through the density we are caught up in and do something to help. This has been the core of this journal – to help those that can help us, because we cannot do this alone.


I will never rest until those who can help are in a position to help. Until that day arrives, I will strive each day to be a better person. I will do my part to express consideration and respect to those around me.

I remember once how this guy I met told me what happened as he watched the thatched roof of a house be destroyed by fire. He said he just saw lots of smoke coming from the roof – there were no flames – and then the roof fell in on itself. This is what is happening to our world – it is simmering. May those that can help do so sooner than later.

We are not allowed to fall.   

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