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How to make a Universe! Recipe inside


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HOW TO MAKE A UNIVERSE:

 

Right so here goes, its quite a simple process really, all you have to do is live in a pre-corrupted Universe with a belief in god, you are unlucky enough to inhabit, but fortunate enough to develop pain, war and genocide in, which is usually enough to forward science to the point of  particle physics and computing, this in turn will enable technological progress, of a speed hitherto unknown to your species. then build spaceships to survey all of the known reality, take gas readings, from the gas readings work out what the explosive element was, now take all elements gathered, you will need a sample of each planet in the universe, this could take some time unless you have a 3d printer and happen to know “God” personally, however as a warning  to species who might wish to create universes, he is known to mug people off with moody gear sometimes, and was caught a few times running pyramid schemes.  You will also need to schmooze god to tell you how negative elements are created, we call black holes, the black holes construction is like a shaped charge or bead. Take your detonation cord  (electric) and string through the bead, pack with the explosive material you worked out and made earlier,  then  attach to the sides of your box by the ends of the det cord. the attachments are like threads with quick lock collars, the exterior of the sides enable you to tighten the detonation cord until completely tight. For more variety of galaxies be creative with your charge shapes (this should also cause unusual gravitational waves much akin to dropping different size pebbles in water at the same time. Now take your atom sized sand composed of the precise mix of your space and planet samples, fill box with this mix, now seal the box, and pump in the precise weight of all inert gas samples through micro one way valve, now your universe is ready to be fired up, with a precise electronic detonation pattern programmed, press the red button you made earlier for ceremonial purpose, pray to existence that you didn't just do something that should have been banned by any short exercise in the philosophical issues that may have been observed in your current reality, pray for each other and for life itself, and a Nobel prize will no doubt be awarded to you.

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See! That's the kind of plan I get.

 

I am shocked at the degree of inert gasses produced in the preparation of cosmological explosions. However, I notice the sun is on the wrong side of system and the most appropriate time for pressing red buttons is when the moon is full as the sun rises. To press or not to press when the question remains about the safety of caustic wavelets, which may tend toward inter cancellation of themselves if captured in too large a quantity on the same caustic wavelet capture apparatus.

 

Jelly fungaloids of the tommoralian system will require two successive stellar explosions to operate their guidance systems on a planet that's 60 light years from their homeworld and they can only travel at the speed of light, however, this species is unevolved (hence the need for guidance systems) and they could be easily fooled into believing they seen two stellar explosions by the use of teleprojection mirrors creating artificial light. They'll probably work it out by the time they reach the seventh planet from their sun and the guidance systems will be demolished by them (again) in their anger at cheapskate stellar explosions from the intergallactic space alliance (again).

 

This is not how they used to do things in Magrathea. The improbability factor for Magrathea's rediscovery has reduced to 8,563,684,374,764,689 to 1.

 

I may have missed a digit :o

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