The Blonde Thread

[Enola]

The sexiest man.

 

 

[Mr Crabtree]

I used to date a lady with long blonde hair halfway down her back, none on her head unfortunately, it was all halfway down her back! I chased after dreamboats in my younger days, but, usually ended up with the tug boats! This lady grabbed my heartstrings for a while

I called her 'My little treasure' because everyone asked me 'Where I'd dug her up from'? Alas, when the money ran out, she turned ugly and dumped me, apparently she made a pass at Stevie Wonder afterwards, I don't know how true that was, but that's what her friend told me! Her friend, Quasi Kate was gorgeous in her own way too, a forty something redhead, no hair, but a lovely red head! A lot of people said she was 'stunning', no, wait, a lot of people said 'She wanted stunning' that was it, that's what they said, Muy bad!

We met in a bar, I remember it like it was yesterday, she rolled her eyes at me, I picked them up and rolled them back to her, good old times, good old memories!

 

Edited March 9, 2024 by Mr Crabtree

[webtrekker]

1 hour ago, Mr Crabtree said:

We met in a bar, I remember it like it was yesterday, she rolled her eyes at me, I picked them up and rolled them back to her, good old times, good old memories!

 

Reminds me of the time I passed a house with a balcony and looked up to see a gorgeous young woman looking down at me. Just as I was about to wave to her, her glass eye dropped out, and I managed to catch it. I asked her for her room number so that I could fetch it upstairs for her, but she said, brusquely, 'Leave it at reception downstairs. Do you think I open my door to anyone who catches my eye?'

 

 

 

[Mr Crabtree]

11 hours ago, webtrekker said:

 

Reminds me of the time I passed a house with a balcony and looked up to see a gorgeous young woman looking down at me. Just as I was about to wave to her, her glass eye dropped out, and I managed to catch it. I asked her for her room number so that I could fetch it upstairs for her, but she said, brusquely, 'Leave it at reception downstairs. Do you think I open my door to anyone who catches my eye?'

 

 

 

It's a little bit embarrassing to admit this, but the girl you're talking about,  she was my girlfriend { sort of }, for about six months, yes, it was six months, I remember now, her husband was in one of her Majesty's hotels, doing six months, Winson Green prison was down winson green road which is the longest road in Birmingham, my brother went down winson green road and it took him four years to come out of the other end! Anyway, her husband was doing six months, him and a mate stole a calendar and got six months each! Anyway, large Marge promised her husband that she wouldn't sleep with another man whilst he was doing bird, so to stick by her promise to him, but to keep me onside so to speak, she used to take out her eye and give me a crafty wink off when we were on our own! I used to ring her and say 'I'm coming down your road tomorrow, can I pop in'? She used to reply, 'great, I'll keep an eye out for you then'! Then one day, I got her slightly pregnant, I must have looked at her a bit cock-eyed or something She told her old man she was up the duff, he said 'but I've been in here for five months' She said 'I know that, you silly sausage, but, you've written me some lovely, romantic letters'!

[webtrekker]

33 minutes ago, Mr Crabtree said:

 Anyway, her husband was doing six months, him and a mate stole a calendar and got six months each!

 

Ridiculous, isn't it. My mate only stole 100 books of Green Shield Stamps and he got 18 months and an electric kettle.

 

Talking about women with eye afflictions ... I knew a girl once whose whole back was in a terrible state. She said it was due to her being severely cross-eyed and the tears running down her back. Bacteria, you see.

Edited March 10, 2024 by webtrekker