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House rules: - You must never ever talk about the secret brotherhood on the internet where normies may catch wind of it. - You must not be too tall. Our lodges have low ceilings to keep the heating costs manageable. - Since we don't exist, we do not have a name. But if anybody asks, the name is Brian. If they ask who Brian is, you never said Brian. You said Joe. - If they ask where you are going, you are going to church, never to one of our 666 lodges in every major city - There are 99 degrees in our society, but if anyone asks you were never taught numbers in school and you don't know. - Nobody must know that our Grand Lodge is in Brussels and Bangladesh at the same time, with teleportation provided by NASA's Black Knight Sattelite - Every member gets a brain chip so large that it sticks out of the top of your skull like a Rubik's cube and has to be covered up by a large Sombrero - Never hit your head after you have been implanted. Avoid low doorways. - We use these brainchips to broadcast subliminal messages into the subconscious minds of people we walk past - Wholesome Messages like "Your children will become abnormal if they don't watch stepmother-fantasy porn before school every day" - We have a manifesto but cannot currently open or print it because the Word file is corrupted. If anybody ever sees it, its a fake written by Julian Assange for money. - We do not communicate over the internet but rather use telepathy which goes over 5G base stations and Starlink sattelites - You will recognize your fellow brothers by them soothingly putting their right hand on your right ass cheek, squeezing gently and sensually massaging it in a clockwise circular motion. A real brother will never tear your trousers while doing this. - Women are not allowed to join. They have breasts and stuff. - The leader of each lodge determines when and if a lower degree brother can use the lodge toilet. If you must go urgently, use the blue milk crate in the escape alley. - You must always address your leader as "Most Worshipful Allower Of The Disallowed" - Members must appear to do a lot of charity. Donate money to a charity online, print out the receit, then call the credit card company, claim that someone else used your card and reverse the charge. - During initiation, a brother must lie on a large altar dressed in a baby diaper and reveal his most intimate sexual fantasy to the other brothers - If the fantasy isn't disgusting enough, you will be asked to repeat this step - If you still don't get it right you cannot become a brother and only a step-brother - Brothers must snitch on each other. - For example, if a hot woman walks by and a brother turns his had to look at her, the lodge must know. - Punishments are severe. Like having to listen to our fake ideologues for 100 hours. - You never ask your brothers for things like a sensual massage outside the lodge. - We only drive the most expensive cars. This makes people confuse us with oil Sheikhs and trust us intuitively. - A brother must always appear rich. It is the best way to get people to think that you are a really ethical person. - We don't trade in stocks. We make them up. - The lodge WiFi password is 1234567