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dnxmix

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  1. Hi Allymisfit. Well it is a puzzle indeed but in my experience with all this subject it is really important to try to stay grounded and function in everyday life and to dose this questions of understanding what it can be etc. After I post here I was researching a bit and learned new stuff about it, also watched this documentary "Crazywise" (only available on Vimeo and need to pay for it) about understanding mental health states from western and 'primitive' cultures. It was hard to watch in some parts but it has good messages about how to use this state of mind/spirit for better cause. But even in the cultures who don't see psychosis or schizophrenia as 'broken brain' and more like 'spiritual awakening' they make sure that person who is dealing with this has his mentor (often shamans) who is guiding them through transformation process. In their beliefs it important to use that experience and for person with the 'symptoms' to see it as something good and contribute to society. Now, since we are living in western society where they treat people with psychological symptoms as animals most of the people don't find good mentor/psychotherapist and deal with that alone which is pretty sad. In my case, in my 'recovery' phase, I had non-typical psychotherapist who didn't put to much focus on diagnosis label and followed the protocol. Through years of therapy he guided me step by step to detect my patterns, forgive myself, encourage me to step into world, embrace my individuality and so on. Also I had luck with few friends and meeting right people during last years so. Also, Even that I am stable for long time I still take medications (antipsychotic) who help me be grounded and functional. Every person has it's own recipe and path with this. I found really helpful having biorhythm like going to sleep and wake up in similar time and have enough sleep (8 hours) is super important. Sleep is really good for brain to balance, if you have problems with it maybe to try to take some sleeping pills to have calmer dreams also :) In my case, I don't remember my dreams since I was 10 yo. Before that I was sleepwalking as a kid and had really vivid dreams but after that I (Luckily) sleep tight and almost nothing can wake me up. Try to do some activities to express yourself more, like writing/painting to get out thing in your head/soul in some creative channel (that was my trick also :) ) and decoding this things what are you seeing or experiencing when you are stressed/non-focused/in panic is maybe not the best. Brain is really powerful tool and can trick you sometimes. Hang in there, step by step :)
  2. Thank you and I agree with you. For me there was always something mysterious about all this in general and especially since I had that experience which in the end only make me stronger and wiser. Of course, I couldn't be this today if I don't have my grounding methods. I find my "recipe" to keep stability but with all this happening in world last year in some days is bit harder. I see so many people being "zombi look" or talking nonsenses, being more extreme or drug/alcohol abussing cuz they are suffering, their emotional and spiritual body don't have what is required to have to be balanced. Hard to observe but still trying to influence ones I can and share the truth :) Thx for reply. Cheers :)
  3. Hi all, pretty new to the forum but couldn't find a similar topic and not sure if my 'case' is individual or if there are other people with this experience. Long story short, 2013. In spring time I had a psychotic episode (acute) which started in winter and lasted for 4 months before I was hospitalized at the Psychiatric ward in my hometown. During that time in the first and biggest psychotic stage I had hallucinations (mostly voices in my head). As time was passing I had more intense and louder voices and a scenario that was shown in my perception back then was basically a parallel world with totally different meanings of everything you know but yet I was seeing things as they are. I was only 19 yo when this thing happened to me and before that period I was pretty much into psychology, philosophy, eastern and ancient cultures, social phenomenon etc. All that ''knowledge'' and unsolved traumas from the past turn against me (in my mind with disablans of molecules in charge of transmitting information - neurotransmitters) and play horrific and paranoid parallel reality where everything is against me and I cannot escape anywhere. As time passed, the information in my head was ''telling me and convincing me'' in scenarios like that the whole China is watching me on screens, that stars in the skies are lights that come from holes in some fabric, that my hair on my body are small antennas etc... the day I tried to ''commit suicide'' by jumping from small building I had really bizarre ''scenario'' that I am living in the matrix and voice that was telling me was controlling my movement and I felt like marionet puppet and couldn't resist anymore and that's why i ended on the building and jumped. Still today I don't know how I survived without any scar (I had a cast on my neck for a few months and that's it). Was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward where they just chained me in bed and drug me with pills not knowing what I am taking. I was there for one month and only had one 10 min conversation with a doctor who just said I had psychosis and if I take the pills I will be fine. After 4 weeks of taking antipsychotics I no longer had voices and on my way to become 'normal' After that hospital experience I was searching for a private psychotherapist with whom I did 6 years of psychotherapy, changed medications to the right ones with minimal dose. Since last 4 years I finished sociology as a 'potential student' because of my way of thinking, I had several summer jobs and lived in 2 countries as part of some students mobilities. Meet new people, travel and discover so many things about psychology and help many people with just following my instinct and personal belief. But all this time, for the last 7 years I was really open about my mental health and what happened to me, since then I have more urge to help people dealing with traumas and confusion. People I met after that period until now were telling me how they feel open saying some personal stuff and feel more calmed in my presence and could easily understand my point of view of the situations and opinions. Since I am empathic and sensible as a person and have this experience I wanted to use it for better cause to spread some light. Since my first psychotic episode was really extreme and traumatized me I was on the side of science and dosing the information about anything out of the "normal" to not trigger back that fear and paranoia. Also from time to time I heard about some other people who had psychosis in their adolescent years and some of the "hallucinations beliefs" were similar (Chinese, being watched and "the end is near" fear) I was somehow blocking thinking about it and often just repeating myself the vocabulary that my psychotherapist was telling me about my condition and taking pills as I supposed to. And I first discovered David Icke and his thoughts in the period of the first phase of psychotic state and somehow everything I read made sense even though I was "not normal". Somehow I felt the urge to look what David is saying about covid and since then I try to read his thoughts as much as I can. But since he had written so many materials (books, movies..) I couldn't find anything so far about this "psychotic illness" and other related. When this all Covid hoax and panic started it triggered that fear and paranoia (because at first I believed it). After I came to my senses and looked for other opinions and follow my instinct I started to follow David's videocasts which helped me a lot to understand this situation and 'reality' more deeply. (Thx! ) I wanted to open this topic and see if there other people with similar stories or experience or if someone has some insight of this; please write here or in my inbox. Also some links or books would be awesome to look at this "mental health" topic from a non-psychology view. P.S. Hope you understand my story. I am more curious and open to find out more about all this. Thanks! :)
  4. Hello all Bit late to the party but better now then never. To be honest when was first "outbreak" in Europe I was manipulated by media and other people buying this shit stories about "Virus". Luckily I come to my senses quickly and trying to keep my sanity and common sense on a daily basis. After informing and connecting the dots with help of Icke's videocasts and numerous discussion with only one friend who thinks like us about this all hoax, I had enough of just sitting and watching this and hoping it will end. It is so hurtful to watch 98% of people in your life (family, friends..) buying this shit and becoming more and more manipulated with every single day, every single month, every new lockdown. I want to do something to fight this evil, I want to find similar minded people to fight to stop this psychopatism. I lost some of my friends and some members of family wont talk to me because I tried to speak about this nonsenses. For them I am crazy and/or "non-science believer" in this point (even though I finished studies in social science). I come to the point where I don't know how to talk to people who I knew most of my life about this "pandemic". Thing that is still surprising and keep shocking me is the level of accepting this global fascisms by people who you would never think will obey this hoax after one year of this mass manipulation. I cannot just sit and watch this. Help me to find out what I can do to fight this. Peace from Croatia
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