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steven geldenhuys

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Everything posted by steven geldenhuys

  1. What separates the men/woman from the boys/girls? – Their toys. That must be the most disgusting statement ever for me, because it implies that the bigger you have, the better you are. How sad it is that we envy those with limitless wealth – we see what they have, not what they are. We believe that money will buy us happiness, and to a certain extent it most certainly does, but at the end of the day it comes back to you. Where to from there when you are king/queen on your throne? Is it enough to give your billions to charity? For me, the greatest form of giving is of yourself, where you uplift/inspire others through what you have become. When you touch people through what you said or done, that stays with them longer than the money you put in their bank account. Where I am leading, is how do we define “play” within the dense frequency of the illusion? The answer to that question can be found in another question: “What do you want?” Of course I want a new house, and I desperately need another car, but overriding all of the material wants, what I want the most is to be me – the person I am meant to be. When I am me, then I have everything, as I am in control of my world and everything therein. By “control,” I imply that I have the capacity to do what I want when I want – not because I can, but because I am playing in my Game. This, for me, is what play is about as long as we remain within the frequencies of Hell. We decide our fate, not the System. Playing is not about doing or giving, it is about being. Now you don’t have to say or do anything to inspire others, you merely are what you are. Please don’t take what I say and apply it to what you know, because we are so much more than what we could ever imagine. Every morning I ask myself what more can I do, but there comes a time when we need to start being, and how this is done is to be better than what we are. No doubt many upgrades were made to us the biological computer throughout our existence, but these upgrades sank us deeper into the illusion so that there may be Order out of Chaos, where Life was insane, but not mad enough to push us over the edge; where fear was a part of our existence, but not enough where it stunted our capacity to exist; where the lows of Life could always be overcome by highs – albeit temporarily. We lived for those tokens of pleasure, and rightly so, as it is fun having fun, but for me, what happens when you step out of the amusement park? The answer is that it is back to basics, which is survive. And even there, what is wrong with survival? What is wrong, is that if we look a bit to the left or right of the life we lead, we will witness sorrow and cruelty for many, and this for me is unacceptable. Many choose unhappiness and like it, but many don’t, and it is for these that I will find a way out of this illusion we came to call home. What I do whenever I can is call upon the frequency of the world we were meant to inhabit, as what we were manufactured to be to slot into this frequency is very different from what we are now. By being in the stillness, and allowing this frequency to undo what was done to you, you step closer to the phase where you play a game rather than the Game plays you. Please, please, please, don’t limit yourself by holding on to what you know or want or have. Just let go, and go beyond the barriers those from the shadows have set for us. Become master of yourself, and then master of the illusion. That, for me, is play.
  2. I am not knocking my parents in saying what I am about to, as I am big enough to understand that if you want to change the world, it starts with you. I am using my parents as an example, rather than a form of finger-pointing or criticism. Through the absence of communication between me and my family, I don’t know if my mom is dead or still alive. Her marriage to my father spanned over sixty years. There was one golden rule in my mom’s marriage, and that was: “If ever a confrontation began between her and her husband, she made sure that she keep quiet.” In other words, she made sure that she shut the fuck up so that the difference in opinion may not escalate. In my last telephonic conversation with my father I understood what she meant, as some people don’t like to see life from any other perspective other than their own. To see their point of view from anothers perspective places them in the firing line of being wrong. This end result of keeping quiet, as well as not being open to being wrong, allowed my parents to not grow one iota as people throughout their marriage. What they were when they first met is what they took with them to the grave. If there is one thing I have learnt, is try and be a better person each day. Know what you are, with all your faults, so that these may be cast aside so that you may begin to live a full life. This Steven was one intense mother fucker – taking himself and life far too seriously. You cannot live as you should with the faults that you carry like a yolk around your neck. If you are blessed with friends to point out your faults, or you are big enough to see yourself in the mirror for what you are, and want to change what you see, then your chances of leading a full, happy life are almost guaranteed. But if you accept, and refuse to see or hear, wow, what a wasted life. Those from the shadows that see the Game that has been created within the illusion, where it is take to survive, are no doubt driving in Shit Street lane. They are in trouble, as what they are taking and feeding from is not enough. Their existence is falling apart in more ways than one. Their upgrade of us the biological computer is to stream-line our energy more effectively, and this is done by us being plugged into their energy grid. We, with our nanotechnology, will be plugged into their Smart cities, and the Smart cities will be plugged into their energy grid. This will ensure a smooth harvest of our energy. It will work, but it will be short-lived, as there is only so far you can go from what you naturally are before you forget what you naturally are, and then you join those in the Nothingness of the Forgotten, where you forget this Love that you are. What do you think would happen when these Game controllers within the shadows look in the mirror and say to themselves: “I have fucked up!” What will happen to this place we call home that for so many out there is a living hell? The answer is that Life as we knew it will transform and never be the same again. What will it take for cruel monsters and Beasts to see themselves? What it will take is for them to see Love, so that they may remember what they are. You be this Love, first and foremost for you, and if others want to transform, they follow your lead and become you – this Love that you are.
  3. Okay. I am going to play with what I know. (What we do, we do with Love to be Love. If what we do is for any other reason but to be what we naturally are, which is Love, what we do will not work. So be it.) I have been to this world/frequency that we should have inhabited. I have met the Gaia of this world that is this world. There is no way we will be let loose in this paradise, as we will bugger it up. I have no doubt that what we the biological computer is now, is not what we initially were manufactured to be. I say this as one night in my sleep state I was shown how the lock and key components of our species body forms were made through trial and error until they fitted properly. (How our sex organs were made for compatibility.) I truly believe there was no need to physically procreate, and that the high of the orgasm which became an addiction/drug to so many was not there in our initial manufactured component. Life was about being, of being one with what the illusion had to offer. Our strand was positioned to be the jewel that connected to the essence of the planet we were manufactured to inhabit. I have seen the big picture, as in where we belong, which is the fields of the Infinite, but have failed to take the baby steps to get there. To awaken the strand with the Infinite is like jumping from kindergarden to a class in final year astrophysics in one morning – I am thinking too big and not taking the baby-steps to get there. You acknowledge that the frequency of the world we should have inhabited is out there. Go into the stillness of the silence and make this frequency your own. Then allow yourself to be condensed to what you were initially manufactured to be, and through the combination of this frequency of the world we should have inhabited together with our true form, the strand should naturally come alive/awake. 2:20 PM on 10th July, 2021. Allow to receive what you can handle. Remember, this is about feeling the waters and taking baby-steps. What will happen is that your Third Eye will be targeted and awakened. The Third Eye needs to see the frequency of the world we should have inhabited so that it may become compatible to this frequency, as this frequency will ultimately allow the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness within to bloom like the lotus flower. 10/07/2021 What was written yesterday makes sense – first be what you were meant to be, and from there reach for the stars. Nothing came to feed on my energy last night. I have serious energy within me now, and this is just the start. Whenever you can, take time off and go into the stillness of the frequency of the world we were meant to inhabit. (Call upon this frequency by knowing it is there, and in the moment it will be within and around you.) When you are within this space, allow your manufactured component to break down to what it was originally meant to be. (Just let go.) What we are working towards is to shine in our full might as we would have when we entered the space of the world/frequency we were meant to inhabit. Be what you were meant to be, in its full glory, and from this stepping stone go to the Infinite. 11/07/2021
  4. I was sleeping last night, and then smoothly and effortlessly, the implanted dream was integrated into me the biological computer. In the dream my wife was running down the passage crying – she was filled with emotion. I ran ahead of her and opened the front door so that she may get quicker to her destination. Then I saw her crouch on our carpet and open one of our cupboards. Therein lay our Siamese cat Kayla. Her body was decayed as it was flattened out. I awoke from the dream and saw this black goat with its head right next to mine – it was watching how the energy had accumulated around me as I gave energy/attention to the implanted dream. I felt my head rise up and swell, and then I saw someone next to my bed who leant over me to suck up the food/energy. In total there were about three of them – a family. When the one ate of my energy, they moved away for the next one to eat. They were heavy-set people, wearing their traditional clothes and hat. My strong guess is that they were nomadic Asians, most probably Mongols that lived amongst the seen a long time ago. When they left I lay in bed and I was furious. I refused to carry on being a slave-species. I refused to carry on living in a survival existence. What happens to me at night time, where my energy is harnessed and fed from, happens to you and every person on the planet. I say this because I alone cannot feed those from a dimension close to ours. Our existence; our lives, are lived so that we have interactions and experiences. These moments are stored as data within us, and those from the shadows come to us when we sleep, access this data, and weave a story or dream to which attention/energy is given, and then they feed from this energy. That is why we exist. That is why we are here. I have always said that we are at the very bottom of the food chain, and how right I am. So what is the way out – to breathe with intent the Love that is so that the strand within may wake up and we may be this strand, this God presence? Then why has it not been done? Am I too impatient? Am I looking too deep and not seeing the obvious? I would say that our acceptance to our limited and controlled existence has been a major factor to our continual enslavement. We never questioned Life, our life – we just went about our business doing our best. And let’s be fair: How do you stop your enslavement by unseen cruel Beasts when you are not aware of the Game you are played in and your role as a feeder? How you control others is by not allowing them to know they are been controlled. Life is in your hands – it is what you make of it! Nonsense. Our lives have never been ours to own. Well I have had enough. For most of my life I used to eat the animals that were killed for our consumption. It was “Gods’ gift to us so that we may survive.” Then when I drove by the animals being transported in the trucks to the abattoir, and I looked in the eyes of those animals who were to be killed for me, I knew that something was horribly wrong. Why did they have to die; why did they have to stand in line knowing they are about to be killed so that I could eat? Who made my life more important than theirs? What I am getting at, is our existence and those of the animals we kill is exactly the same. We are both fed upon. So how do we get out of this mess? How do those animals break free of the trucks they are transported in and from those that herd them into the killing parlor? How do they do it? The answer is they cannot. How do we do it? Can we do it? In asking this question I am being realistic. Whenever the presence of a Beast in within me or around me in my sleep state, what has always pulled me through is a knowing that we are bigger than all this mess. We are Love, and this is nothing special as it is a natural state. This has always been my life-line to keep my head above the water. This Love is bigger than the System called Hell where to eat and to have pleasures is what Life is all about. That few have peace and contentment is irrelevant. So what can be done to stop those in Hell from being a slave-species? I would say it is two-fold: To know of the Game, and how we are slotted into the Game, and secondly, to ask for the Love that is to embrace us so that we are one with this Infinite. The strand of Godness that is within you that is you needs to be Home for it to be, and this Infinite is everywhere within the illusion. Know of the strand that is you, and know of the Love that is everywhere, and let these two unite. What I am trying to say is that we cannot do it alone – we need help. Open yourself up to this help by understanding that this Love is everywhere. We are a slave-species to feed Beasts in the unseen. We exist within an illusion. Know what you are – a slave-species in an illusion. But this is not what you are meant to be; this is not your natural state. At your core you are the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness. It was placed at our throat area to connect to the world we were meant to inhabit and play in. When this strand that is you is connected to the Infinite it settles over the heart area, where it and the Infinite and the body forms are One. For fucks sakes, may this happen sooner than later.
  5. These fuckers from the shadows are trying to kill me. What came over the last two nights were controllers of the Game, rather than the players. Saw their shadows and felt their poison as it was passed into the arterial system at my left wrist. The toxins/poison has built up within my pelvic bone area – I cannot bend down to put my socks on.
  6. What was the original spell? I would say it was the one the fallen Serpent souls cast on the pure Dragon spirit that chose to fall from the Infinite into the complete opposite of what was. That we were all under a spell makes sense, especially regarding the seen and unseen Beasts. There is no way one would normally be so complacent to your own wicked ways. The spell, for these monsters, took away empathy and life. As their victim was an object devoid of Life, so too were there horror stories in the flesh and the unseen. May the spell be broken by knowing it existed. May we all start to awaken. 7/7/2021 In the first few years of writing the journal I never knew about the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness within us. When I found out about it, I needed to know where it was located, and where it was found was in the area we would call our nose. My first impression was that it was hidden there so that we would never find it, but once again, I am open to being wrong. What I can tell you, is that for as long as I can remember, I have had a fixation of sorts with noses, in that when I express my love for my animals, I have to always squash their noses so that they may know that I really love them. This is not really a fixation in its true sense, it is just my silly way of expressing my love for them. What I have felt strong about since the first few months of writing is the importance of breathing with intent, where you breathe in the Love that is. This was one of the ways to expel the monsters within and without me over the years in my sleep state, but when I encountered some hard-hitters where this breathing in with intent never worked, I stopped doing it. It is now that I need to understand the strand within all of us – this Dragons fire that is the life-blood of all within the fields of Infinite Love. Why has it not been activated within us? What is the link between the nose where the strand was, and the throat where it is currently located? My guess is that the strand has forgotten itself and from where it arose. In that ayahuasca ceremony where I was told over and over again “Remember what you are,” this voice, which I understand now, was talking to the strand within rather than to Steven. We were not manufactured to be in this world/frequency. We were made for another world, but we were sent here to be a life/energy source to entities that were dying and needed essence/life/food on what we would call a 24/7/365 basis. Our biological computer was made to hack into, or harness, the world we were initially meant to inhabit, thus the strand was around the many glands of the Endocrine system so that our connection to our world would be supreme – in other words, we were built to lock into the paradise we were meant to inhabit. This encounter with this world never happened, and I would say we forgot about the strand within as fear and survival took us over by being in a place where we don’t belong. Did the system of Hell begin falling apart; did this delicate, fragile network of worlds and their inhabitants begin to be rattled and wither? Was energy needed to keep those at the top of the Game – the elite, alive? I would say “yes” on all accounts, hence our flight detour from Malibu and its white beaches to the stinking rot of Calcutta. This flaw in the imperfect System that became visible for all to see must have happened thousands of years ago in our definition of time. This Love that is, is all around and within us the biological computer that resides in the illusion. By knowing it is everywhere, you breathe in this Love, so while you breathe in oxygen to your lungs in the illusion, at the same time you “breathe in” this Love that is, where this Love touches the strand within and allows the strand to remember itself. This is what I call “breathing in with intent.” When we forgot about the strand, it settled within our nose area, and when it was remembered, it settled where it should, namely over the throat area. Now just wake it up by taking in the Love that is with each breath so that this Love may wash over the strand, where it remembers what it is. No doubt the worlds that were created, as well as their inhabitants, were beautiful in more ways than one. No doubt we were manufactured to play, just as Sophia created the Dragon spirits to play. The initial plan was to do things right, but this fell apart as the parasitic frequency of Deception got the better of all Life. The faeries, the elves and their like – all fell to the Darkness that would take over the hearts of so many. So many have been destroyed or are in hiding or are lost to insanity - those that lived in places of wonder that soon fell apart. Throughout the journal it has been hammered time and time again to always make a point of breathing in with intent. This has not been done, but it will be done from now on. When you are consciously aware of your breathing, what is happening is that you are breathing in the Love that is everywhere to wash over the strand of Godness at your throat level so that it may be awoken. 8:00 PM on 8th July, 2021.
  7. What came last night in my sleep state was adamant. They showed me the index finger – I will comply! From there I felt the snake squeeze up through the base of my left foot. My extended calf area revealed that it was about half way up my leg. The fun and games these sicko’s play. It was then that I spoke to them. I told them I was Infinite Love. I told them that I will always be Infinite Love, as this is who and what I am. It doesn’t matter how long they try getting the better of me, their efforts will always be futile, as this is who and what I am. I flung a ball of this Love that I am to those around me. In that moment I knew that a spell had been cast upon me, and I flung a ball of this Love to break the spell. I remember a few weeks back being in the presence of this female entity during my sleep state. She pinned me down with an implanted dream of fear, just because she can, but primarily she wanted to show off and show how strong she was. It was her that cast the spell as least four lifetimes ago. Around every act of nastiness dwells a strong thread of jealousy. Most probably she saw me all that time back when I was happy and she didn’t want me to be happy. Let this be a lesson for all: Always wish others only the best. There are fools out there that will get what they have given when they see themselves for what they are, and we leave them be, and to others wish them well. As an example, if you make a million a month, and I say good for you, then my chances of making two million are almost guaranteed, as there is nothing holding me back. If I am resentful of you doing well, my chances of making nothing are almost guaranteed, because what I project goes around the house to come back and hit me in the face – the good and the bad. The one that cast the spell on me was above the Game, in that the law of “what goes around comes around” was beneath her, but you can’t run from yourself. In the world of illusion you may be king and queen, but when you step into the real world of Love you need to answer some serious questions. To each their own. May they find solace; may they find peace. What was done to me I wish on nobody, as the spell makes you an observer rather than a participant of life. You exist, you don’t live. If any out there feel the same was done to them, then go into the silence and knock out any nonsense that may be blocking you. If anything is there, it will come to the fore and you will experience it, and then it will be no more. For those that are suffering from this biggest hoax the world has seen, send your Love to knock out the lies and deceit. How far did they expect to go at the expense of others? None are so blind as those that refuse to see – to see themselves and what they have become. In a moment, Beasts can transform themselves. Say sorry, to your victims and to yourself, and then get stuck in to make a wrong right. The other night over the dinner table my youngest daughter told us of her scary dream, where in the dream she was writing a test the following day and hadn’t learnt for it. She said she was filled with fear. I wonder what the entities looked like that stood by her bedside and fed off her energy obtained from their implanted dream? We the seen are no better – how much blood is spilt every day so that we may eat? The point to make is that pointing fingers at others is not a way out of this mess. Let’s all clean up shop, and have fun as we do so. Many just need to wake up. What made me fall in love with my wife was her naivety, which for me is another form of innocence. Naivety is cute to a point, and from there it gets outright stupid, as one cannot see the obvious. To believe that we live in a world where others only want the best for us while so many are suffering is absurd. As others suffer, so too will you – unless you wake up and grow up fast. For those from the shadows to exist takes effort, as they have to suppress what should rise naturally. How long can you keep an inflated balloon beneath the water, especially when the balloon knows it is held down? The tide will turn.
  8. When I first began to see those from the shadows it was like watching a Looney-tunes show – it was something surreal. Something within me must have known that what I was watching was a glitch; a flaw within what we would call space and time. What I saw should not be. After a while the show became a horror story, where those from the shadows understood that Steven was seeing what he is not allowed to see, and the big-guns were brought in to take him down. When they failed it became a free-for-all shoot out at the old corral to see who would take the coveted prize. What kept me alive was immunity to their poison. Now this Game of being fed from or being attacked is becoming a bit long winded. The implanted dream last night was of me driving in a car with my dad. My dad was talking nonsense, and the more the conversation went, the more nonsensical it became. The dream culminated in me slapping my dad in his face so that he may “wake up” and stop talking nonsense. Then I awoke from the dream and saw the one who had implanted it. He was cock-sure of himself – the man. He bestowed upon himself great pride that he could harness energy/food from us the slave species of Hell. I heard him say “feed” to his two serpents, and then these snakes began to feed from my energy as this man literally began strutting around in his self-importance. I lay in bed, and I asked myself the same questions that I practically ask every day: “What more is there that I need to understand; what more can I do?” I remember writing in the journal about a year ago that we must want nothing. As I lay in bed this morning after once again being preyed upon, I understood what it means to want nothing. Of all that I have seen and experienced, something within me knew that we are bigger than all this mess. At the end of the day the good guy and girl does win. There is a Walt Disney happy ending at the end of the story, even though this has not been the case for countless within the worlds of Hell. Why I say this, is that Love is natural, and what we are experiencing is unnatural. That is why the System needs energy – our energy, to survive, as we are going upstream rather than with the natural flow of what is. So what is keeping us from drifting naturally with the flow from the fields of Infinite Love? The only answer that makes sense is our fixation to the illusion. To want nothing means to detach from the illusion. We love to keep our side clean; to be good people, but in terms of our capture within the spiders web, it doesn’t matter if you love or hate, as either way these states keep you fixated to the illusion. I am not saying that you have to stop loving – what we imply is detach from the illusion so that we may play and dance to our own tune, rather than the tyranny of others. The theme of what is being said now I read years ago in the David Icke book Infinite Love is the Only Truth Everything Else is Illusion. What I read in that book was the truth, but it never made sense to me – I had to fill in the blank spaces. Those blank spaces came to be the unseen from the shadows that I would soon see in my sleep state. To want nothing means to want nothing from the illusion, because the illusion is a fly-trap for all of us. As long as you are in your biological computer body you need to dance and play and be joyous, but this needs to be done free from the illusion. As a young boy I remember reading an article regarding one of the songwriters of the group, I think it was Fleetwood Mac. This songwriter became a hobo, and this was the life he chose. He refused to receive the vast sums of money from the royalties of the songs he wrote. He had nothing, as he wanted nothing. That man I understood, and still do, for Steven is that man through and through. I have nothing, except for debt right now, and I want nothing. I want nothing from a world that doesn’t care, and this is so because I am not that desperate to survive. Take your gold coins and shove them up your arse – I don’t want them. To take them means I acknowledge and am part of a System that abuses the innocent. The Devil is not my friend – I want nothing to do with the System. This I understand, and what I also understand is that this attitude is not the answer. My advice to you is please don’t go through what I went through. There is no need to see the Beasts from the shadows and what they do to us their food source. Don’t go through the public ridicule that David Icke and his family went through. Don’t re-invent the wheel. There is a strand of Inherent Godness within all of us. Give that strand your attention by becoming that strand, or give the illusion your attention. You cannot give attention to both. I will carry on loving the animals just as I always have, but what will change is my conscious decision to be free from the system of Life – the illusion. I no longer give my consent to be stuck in an illusion. At the very beginning, it was free will that allowed the Serpent and Dragon children/spirits to enter the illusionary realm that Queen Semiramis created, and so too is it our free will to return to where we belong. Within every aspect of the illusion is a strand of Godness, and this strand is within you and me. This strand arose from the Infinite, and start to make your world within this space/place that is the strand within. In this world I will play and dance and receive, as this is where we belong. This starts today, as in now. Detach from the illusion by attaching to the strand within. When we do this we no longer remain caught within a spiders web. Now we naturally flow with the Love that is. This I will do. Nobody can be helped when they are being pulled upstream away from the Source of Love. The moth cannot truly exist as long as it is fixated to the glow of the light bulb. Go within to the strand of Godness that you are. Everything else is illusion.
  9. I have always maintained that the truth is so simple that we cannot comprehend it. In a world of chaos and effort, such a simple understanding we cannot absorb and make our own. What is the catch? Surely it cannot be that simple? I am Steven, but this is not me. I arose from the Infinite, so I am everything. So now when I perceive myself, I am everything that is outside of this body form called Steven. This person writing these words, and this person that will get up from this chair in a short while to do what needs to be done today – this in not me. I am the everything, as I arose from the Infinite. You are this Infinite, and then you allow this Infinite that you are to take over/infuse the body form that you believed to be you. In thinking I was me, I isolated myself from the Infinite, as it was me, me and me, and this was so because I had to survive in a strange place where few care. I had to focus on me – to conform and fit into society so that I may find my place and survive. It was really important that I done my best, because at the end of the day nobody cares about me as others have their own lives to lead, which we understand. It has always been about Steven, just as your life has been about yourself. The simple truth, as in a way out of this mess, is invert what you have always believed. You are first and foremost the everything. Be this the all, and from there allow this all to infuse into that body form with your name on it. Over the last few days I have made a conscious effort to detach from this Steven, where I understood that I am the everything outside of this body form. All the frequencies, all the dimensions, all the planes of Hell; the illusion, as well as the Infinite beyond this illusionary Garden. This is the norm – this is what we are. You are the tree. Now you understand that you are not this tree, but all the other trees around you. Now you are the forest, which is what you always were and are, which is what you forgot. The forest embraces that isolated, lost and lonely tree, and what you were is now Home. This morning as I lay in bed I felt this prying away of me the body form. Steven and his frequency forms were being detached from all he knew and believed in, and were being incorporated into the Infinite. Understand what has just been said, and understand that I am you and you are me and we are the everything, as there is no isolated me or you. That is the simple truth, and it starts with you detaching from you. Wherever you are now, look around you, into the seen and unseen and beyond. What you see is you. You be this you by knowing this to be the truth, and then this you begins to take over the body form that had your name on it, just as I felt this happen to Steven as he lay in bed this morning. You do not get more simpler than that. You are not you, but the everything that is outside of you. Become this everything, which then incorporates the body form which you believed to be you.
  10. Deep down, I want nothing to do with anybody. This is not some little brat that is speaking that is throwing a tantrum – my claim to isolation is valid. It is not a pretty picture out there, and as much as we all try our outmost best, Life has gotten the best of most of us – including me. You open yourself up to others, you open yourself up to being attacked. This is okay, as Life is not perfect and neither are we. But what happens when the attacks are the norm? What happens when betrayal and cruelty is the norm; it is Life, not just a part of Life? I remember going to an introductory seminar for the Dale Carnegie course, where we are taught to stand up and face the world, or put another way, life-lessons are taught to build self-confidence. The owner of the franchise was Len Stevens, and I remember Len saying that Life is like standing in a stream with a gold-diggers pan – you sift and sift, and eventually you find your diamond or your nugget of gold amongst all the grey. He said the course teaches you to go out there and meet people, and if what you meet you don’t like, you excuse yourself from them, until you find your golden nuggets. In all of us are golden nuggets, and my beef is not so much with people, but rather with Life, as the survival code of Life makes most confused, and the extreme nature of this is cruelty. At about the halfway mark of this journal I knew that our existence was limited to a confined space. I believed that if I could find a way out of our reality I could get help for all of us. I found a way out, and all I was met with were other worlds out there, with entities there going about their business doing their best, just as we do. I want nothing to do with Life, but there is nowhere to go and find my solace, as this illusion of ours is the same the worlds over. I am big enough not to pray and ask for help, because if there was a being of Love that looks over all, there would not be cruelty. If my children are confused then I will carry them, and not make them fall. There is no one in Hell looking after us – we are merely slotted into a System where it is survival of the fittest. How fit you are, is how far you can get from the person next to you, where it is winner takes all. And yet, having said all of that, I know that all this mess is a thin layer of dust beneath a mountain made of gold. When I heal others, this Love heals, not me. So why can I not heal myself? Is it because I have let go and want nothing to do with Life, including that gold that is beneath our feet? When I walk, my shoes pick up the dust, but I don’t look to see that where the dust was is now gold. What if I walked, knowing that by lifting the dust, those that will walk the same path as me now only have gold in their existence. For their sakes, is it not worthwhile picking up a little dust here and there? I cannot help you unless I have been helped, but what if it is not about me. What good is my happiness in a room that is full of loneliness and despair? I do not live for others – I live for the big picture. What that picture is, is that we are in a place where we don’t belong, and we are not what we are meant to be. When you know the truth, it is not about choice or free will – it is a given that we will be where we belong, as this is who and what we are. So it is for this truth that I will complete this journal. I will be who and what we are meant to be. I will find that gold, and be that gold. 27/06/2021 When you understand that it is not about you, but about everything, that is when the walls that we built around ourselves fall away. Now we are no longer fragile, as how does one keep down and suppress the Everything? Now we no longer have to be on guard. Now we no longer stand ready to do everything we can to keep those we love safe. Now we are open to the Everything, as this is what we are. Now it is no longer personal, as there is no more me, but an eternal, everlasting we that is me. That understanding is most refreshing. 27/06/2021
  11. hi thanks for the response. "You must be an atomized individual that has no issues with your people being treated as a doormat, that is true progress!" you are right, i dont understand what was said. i do have issues with people being treated as a doormat. i apologise if i have slandered others through misunderstanding. that is the problem with social media - one does not understand messages and sees them from another angle. once again, i apologise. may my listings come to an end. a few weeks back i refused to carry on being the old Steven, and i cut off ties from everything that i had done and was, and that included posting on this forum. i continued a week or so later as i felt that what i knew had to be shared with others. may this journey be over. i am so friggin tired. once again, i apologise to the person whom i assumed attacked me, as i have been attacked before on this forum, and it is so unneccesary.
  12. (Messge sent to Gareth and Jaymie Icke.) Hi For some months now I have been on your forum, writing on the post Nature of Reality, under the thread “Know what you are.” The last response I got, which was posted today, which you will see on page 7, one of your members attacked me personally. My questions to you are these: · Is your forum a place where like-minded people come together, or is it a platform where outright nasty people feel it is their duty and right to attacked what others say on the forum? As I said in my response, we are all entitled to our opinion, but we are not entitled to be nasty, especially when we are a guest on someone else’s webpage. · Do you encourage the use of hate-speech on the David Icke forum, where it is a free for all, where others attack just because they can, especially when their speech is no benefit to all? · What stance do you take on your members who personally attack others on your forum? Do you give them warning points, and ask them to behave, hoping that they will change personality and be kind? As with all on the forum, I am merely a guest. What you allow is your prerogative and not mine. I ask you these questions, as I would like to be around others that uplift and encourage, rather than be a part of the complete opposite. Regards, Steven
  13. wow. thanks for that. hope you feel better after getting that off your chest. there are many that are nasty in this world, that have to tell others how wrong they are so that they can feel better about themselves. these i have met and seen, in the seen and unseen. these are the voices of hell, and it is not so much that hell exists because of these, it is because the good remain silent. it does not matter who is right and who is wrong, the question is why do we feel the need to attack others who differ from us? to those that read this response above and remain silent to such nastiness and cruelty, it is to you that i ask: "when will you grow a backbone and silence the bullies of hell?" i have met nasty beings, so many of them, and one more, or a thousand more, will not really make a difference to my existence. that i have met few good people, those that stand up for others when they are slandered, this is my concern. where are those with strength? where are those with courage? i write and post on the David Icke forum not for its members, but so that what i see and understand from the unseen way go into the frequencies of hell to help those, who like me, need answers. that i walk amongst beasts, in the seen and unseen does not bother me anymore, as i am bigger than that. i write and post on this forum, and the responses i get give me and indication of what is happening out there. to this person above that attacked, it shows me that beasts are starting to question themselves and what they are. this person could have asked me a thousand questions to which i guarantee you i dont have the answer to, but he attacked for the pleasure of attacking, and this tells me that the next stage in their evolution is to attack themselves, where they see that nastiness has no place in our existence. to you, the silent readers of this threat, my advice is when another is slangered, regardless who is right or wrong, open your mouth and tell beasts that there is no need to be nasty, regardless how wrong the victim is. do this, because one day when you are attacked and slandered, you will wish that you do not stand alone in a world where few care. to the readers of this thread, contact this individual above who attacked me, and thank him for his message that meant nothing to nobody, besides showing us all how mean he or she is. contact them and thank them, as they have made you draw a line in the sand. do you stand up for those that talk from their hearts to help all, or do you shut up when these are unneccessarily slandered? thank you. thank you for your attack. it makes me look at myself and know myself better. and the biggest bonus of all, it makes the silent make a stance. we are all entitled to our opinion, but we are not entitled to be nasty. to the facilitators of the David Icke forum - be careful who you allow into your space and of your members. you have no idea what is out there.
  14. This morning, just before I woke up, I emitted another one of those guttural sounds – it was as if something within me was calling out. I remember playing an interesting game some years ago. I would sit in the silence and just stare at an object, be it a chair or a lamp, or whatever else caught my attention in the room. After a while, what I looked at would split into two – where there was one chair, now the chair replicated itself and there were two of them. What I was doing was breaking the “solid” frequency of the illusion apart. The illusion is made up of waves and frequencies. What is between these waves and frequencies that combine to form the “solid” object that we see and are is anybody’s guess. When the “solid” chair splits into two, there is a space between those identical two chairs that combine to form one “solid” chair, and in the space between those two images is, for me, what our reality refuses to see as we cannot comprehend what we are seeing through our limited understanding of what is out there. In this space between frequencies, including the frequencies that make up our forms, can also be found the forgotten – those that forget themselves as they do not understand where they are and how they got here. That guttural sound that was emitted from somewhere within the spaces that make up the frequencies of Steven, and all of us for that matter, is from the Dragon soul that has forgotten itself. When I let go of the frequencies that make up me, I feel this Dragon soul in a line extending upwards and downwards just to the left of my bellybutton. How sad is that – that one can be so lost and lonely that there is nothing in your existence. You do not even wander and drift, all you do is be in this void from where you cannot find a way out. You awaken this Dragon soul within your forms, and by this soul understanding what happened to it, it let’s go so that the strand within it may take it over and send it home – to the Dragon spirit from where it was cloned. What will be really useful is for this Dragon soul to depart our forms with the Serpent soul within, where the one awakens the Dragon spirit, and the other awakens the Serpent spirit – both of whom are in slumber. By “awaken,” we imply that these souls remind the spirit from which they were cloned what they are, and happened to them from the time they entered/Fell into the illusionary Garden till their Second Fall, where the Fall into the less dense plane knocked them into slumber. How did this Dragon soul reach a stage where it found itself in this void of talking to itself and no other; of seeing and being nothing but itself – how on earth could one become so lost? The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created an “impact” zone. From this zone, the Serpent spirits were formed/born. What is The Wisdom Goddess Sophia was infused in this field of the Infinite that was not familiar to her. I would say that an element of fear/angst arose from her fall and settled on this site, but this fear could not have taken form within the Infinite as the Love that is would have diffused this fear. But in the illusionary Garden an element of this fear could be remembered, and this could also have upset the apple cart. When the Parasite infiltrated the spirits and took them over within the illusion, it was a given that the Dragon and Serpent spirits should have sussed this worm out, but with an element of fear in the cocktail, the rationale of these Mammoths was most probably off-centre. This fear was predominately in the Serpent spirits, as they were Born from the infusion of Sophia and the space into which she fell. But that does not answer our question as to how could the Dragon soul Fall where it forgets itself? That answer to that question can be found in asking another question, which is: “What predominately rules over Hell; this illusionary Garden, or put another way, what makes up the frequency of Hell? The answer is the Reptilian frequency, and this frequency at its core is the Serpent/snake frequency. The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and her initial children, the Dragon spirits, were what we would call “purer” that Semiramis and her kin that arose from the impact zone. Having said that, this difference would have ironed itself out in the fields of the Infinite, as there is only Oneness there. The illusionary Garden once again stuffed things up, because as the Parasite infiltrated their forms, coupled with an element of fear/uncertainty within the Serpent spirits, one could say that a form of division was created in the Garden. What I am getting at is two-fold: The Dragon spirits, in their “purer” forms, were knocked out faster from their Second Fall, their First being that into the illusionary Garden. The second point to make is one that can go either way, as in did Semiramis “survive” the Second Fall into this dense state, albeit with her sanity destroyed, or did she and the Serpent spirits also fall into slumber? Two heads are better than one, as one can see the other, and greater clarity can be met. This, for me, is one of the reasons why the Dragon and Serpent spirits cloned themselves in the Illusionary Garden when an underlying tempest was felt that they could not quite put their fingers on, but no doubt there were other reasons for the formation of the Dragon and Serpent souls from their perspective spirits, and if anything, there is strength in numbers. These souls would have slipped through the cracks and fallen to a denser plane than the spirits, and I do feel that they survived this fall, as in they did not go into slumber. I have no doubt that these souls found the one that chose to fall; this pure Dragon spirit that naively fell for the lies and ways of these tainted and cruel Serpent souls. (We are talking about a small minority of these Serpent souls, as most definitely not all of them had developed a blackened heart. I would say that this group rule to this day over all in Hell.) When this pure Dragon spirit became tainted and ruled by the ways of these abominations, this is where the second point made earlier could go this way: This Almighty, through the request of this group of tainted Serpent souls, awakened Semiramis and other Serpent spirits. What I feel strong about, is that the Dragon spirits were left in slumber. I say this because Reptilian/Serpent frequencies predominate within Hell, and secondly, because of the lost state of the Dragon soul within the spaces of Hell, and this is so as its spirit counterpart remains in slumber. The Dragon soul is in a lost, void space because the place/space from where it arose is also lost, in slumber. As Semiramis was awoken, she awoke her kin, thus the Serpent soul resides in all of us, and I would say that only certain Serpent spirits were awoken, namely those from where these tainted Serpent souls arose. The Dragon spirits, together with many Serpent spirits, remained in slumber, and this state affected those to which they were tied, namely the Dragon souls. Those Serpent souls that were awoken were to become a slave species, feeding the rulers and the frequency of Hell itself. Thus the Serpent soul within you is your best friend, and this is partly so because the two of you are as lost and confused as the other. The essence of the Dragon is also reptilian, but what we are talking about with regards to the reptilian frequency of Hell and its key players is the “cold-blooded” state of the frequency of Hell and its inhabitants. What this state is, is covertness, where everything is done on the sly – from the shadows. Those on top know on a need to know basis, and the rest of us are just used and abused. These lost Dragon souls within the spaces of our frequency is, for me, the epitome of Life, where we have all forgotten ourselves and where Home is. We are all lost. We are all lonely. We are all confused. But at least we the species of Hell should have each other. These Dragon souls have nothing. You awaken this fucker within – this friend who my heart bleeds for. You show this Dragon soul your strand at the base of your throat, and in seeing this strand it sees itself, and from there it returns to from where it arose. Once within the spirit from where it arose, it awakens the spirits strand, which is everywhere within the spirit, and from there these Giants awaken and depart the illusion, as now their strand finds its place, which is the field of the Infinite. When you awaken this Dragon soul within by allowing it to see/remember what it is, that space within you becomes filled with Love, as does the space when the spirits in slumber are awoken. Where there was nothing is now Everything, and this is how the frequency of Hell; the illusion, will be dismantled. The transformation will come from within, not without.
  15. It is worthwhile listening again to what the shaman Don Juan Matus said the to the writer Carlos Castaneda. He said: “We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos and took over the rule of our lives. Human beings are its prisoners. The predator is our lord and master. It has rendered us docile, helpless. If we want to protest, it suppresses our protest. If we want to act independently, it demands that we don’t do so……indeed we are held a prisoner! They took us over because we are food to them, and they squeeze us mercilessly because we are their sustenance. Just as we rear chickens in coops, the predators rear us in human coops, humaneros. Therefore their food is always available to them.” The original predator that Don Juan Matus speaks of is the Parasitic frequency of Deception. When Queen Semiramis offered the Dragon and Serpent spirits to come and play in her illusionary Garden, curiosity got the better of them, and in the illusion this curiosity took on a form – a worm; a Parasite. This Parasite came to infiltrate all within the illusion, and thus we are all Predators – we take. For the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness to shine within us, we need to dismantle what we are, and for this to happen, we need to know what we are and where we are. To help my community, I do patrol drives with my neighbour across the road every two weeks in the late night or early morning hours. Last night it was our turn. On my previous phone I set the alarm and then switch the phone off, and the phone starts up by itself and the alarm goes off. With my new phone this does not happen – if the phone is off the alarm does not go on. I forgot about this, and thus did not wake up to go on patrol. My neighbour stood outside my gate in the freezing cold waiting for me, and I did not pitch up. I stuffed up! It is not okay that I stuffed up. I have stuffed up in the past, and most certainly, I will stuff up in the future, and the reason for this, is that no matter how hard we try to do our best, we exist in a flawed System. We will never get it right; we will never be perfect, because the System is not perfect. But we try and try and try, becoming more disillusioned and disheartened with each step. Many choose the easy way, where they cross over to ride with the System, where they become Beasts that destroy others, just as the System is destroying itself. The ultimate cruelty of Life is that we become cruel to ourselves, as we don’t know a way out of this mess, so if we cannot beat the System we join it. And to be fair to all, Life merely got the better of us. But did we look hard enough? Did we try hard enough? Do we enjoy shaming the innocent? Do we like to be cruel? Do we enjoy hating ourselves, as we feel that this is the only redemption we have for ourselves? Our ignorance makes us believe that if we do our part; if we do our best and keep our side clean, then we will be okay. It is when we are touched by the cruelty of Life that the harsh reality hits us that what we are, and where we are, is not what it should be. If you wrote this journal a thousand years ago on the most distant world in Hell, I assure you that I would have found what you wrote, as I needed more than anything to understand why Life is so cruel. The point to make is that if we look hard enough, and don’t buckle under what those from the shadows throw at us, then surely the innocent could have been spared? Having said that, how many lifetimes in the making has it taken for me to write this journal? How many times have I stuffed up? How many times have I disappointed myself and those I love? We never knew of the Predator that curiosity created. We, the species of Hell, never knew that we were manufactured by a System to be part of the System that is doomed to fail, and as has been said, no matter how hard we tried, we were sure to fail, as we went against the natural flow of what is, namely the strand of the Infinite within us. The other day I saw a video of Joe Biden speaking. What I saw blew me away. His eyes were not his own eyes, but that of an alien entity. Behind the frequency of the man, in his shadow, was an alien that was lying to the masses so that this alien species may take us over. That is the truth, and if you don’t believe me, look at the man speaking, and you will see that his eyes are that of another. These aliens that keep us in human coops do so to destroy us – we are nothing to them, just as so many the worlds over feel nothing for their own kin. As has been said, we are all Predators. But now things have changed. We know what happened to us that resulted in us all stuffing up. The question to ask, is what are we going to do about it? What will that fucker that hides behind the frequency of Joe Biden do? Honestly, I don’t know, but I will tell you what I will do. The Parasite survives within the illusion, and it cannot survive in the fields of Infinite Love. We are manufactured by a System to function so that we may keep the System alive. You are thus an illusion and part of the System, so for the real you; the strand of Inherent Godness to come to the fore, you have to break down what you are. On a deep level, let go of where you are and what you are so that this strand may shine. Break down the illusion and the System of Hell that you have become, and only then can the real you come to the fore. Let go. Let go of everything, so that what you are may crumble and fall. From the ashes the Phoenix will rise – the strand will shine.
  16. Of course they just came around in my sleep state and returned the white worm into my form. The implanted dream was an action movie, about gas pipes that are leaking on a space ship, and the running around fixing these leaks before they explode, and of course there were all these interplanetary weird looking creatures that I gave extra attention to as I found the look of the species interesting. When I awoke from the implanted dream I saw those who had implanted it. They were large snails. The one had its mouth/sucker over my face, and when I awoke to see them, this snail lifted its head to announce to the others that I could see them and they must hurry up. It was then that I felt this worm being inserted into the area extending from the corner of the left side of my mouth to my chin. It felt pretty awful. When it was in place it felt as if someone had just placed contact lenses over my eyes – not to make me see better, but for me to see what they wanted me to see. Around me now was a buffer; a layer that kept me in a limited space. What I would normally do is go into overdrive and counter what those from the shadows done to me, but this time around I done nothing. I left everything to my own free will. No more fighting. No more pushing to understand and make a wrong right. Now this Steven would decide for himself, as he goes about his life, what route he will choose to follow: The one living in the superficial, mixed up mind of nonsense chatter/talk, or the other in the silence of the strand of Godness at our throat level. There will come a time when this journal comes to an end. It must be over three years ago when I typed the heading to the chapter What Happened, as in what happened after all was said and done. What has happened is that my depth of healing to help others has increased, but my life has not changed one bit. The explanation for this selflessness is that before I can start living I have to make sure that I have done everything to help others, and I am primarily talking about those in the unseen. When I have done all to help, and I cannot do more, that is when I walk away to live my life without looking back on those I helped, as now they have the tools to help themselves – if they want to. You can read and read and read, but what will you do when you stop reading and get up from your chair to go and live Life? Our disadvantage is that we do not know of another way other than this life within the illusion. My challenge to you is open your horizons to what else is out there. Just as I felt that worm wriggle around as it was inserted into my face, so too did I feel the movement of the strand of God at my throat area. With the one we live in the mind, with the other we live in the silence of the Infinite. My advice is stop doing what you have always done, because what you have always done has never been done by you. You have been played in a cruel Game, and if you think that has been okay as you have lived a swell life, then don’t be fooled by what is out there and what is coming your way. The devil has no friends. These fuckers that rule from the shadows with glee will turn on themselves when their fragile boat is rocked, and rocked it will be. You and those you love don’t want to be around when these beasts start seeing themselves for what they are. There will be chaos, and I will not be around to see it, as I know that I have done everything I have to help and can do no more. And that applies to me as well. How much do I enjoy escaping to the superficialities of the mind instead of embracing the wonders of Life? Do I choose the easy way, or do I choose the real way? My marker for the end of the journal is when my kundalini energy releases. This burst of energy is, for me, the Serpent soul within us the biological computer that has awakened from its servitude. The real kundalini awakening is for me the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness at our throat area that shines in its full might. This strand is the only thing that is real within the illusion, and this strand expresses itself through our heart energy field, and can be described as something that we call Love. To know of this strand means nothing. To be this strand is the Everything, and this will not happen unless you make a conscious and unconscious decision to make it happen. This decision is made by asking yourself what you want. All I have ever wanted, ever since my first thoughts when I was a lost, lonely, sad and unhappy little boy was to live a full life. I want to live Life. This will not happen unless we take control of Life, and this the strand does for us. It was really big of me not to counter what those from the shadows done to me last night, as I understood then that there has to come a time when we stop fighting and countering those from the shadows. By undoing what they done I acknowledge them – they are a part of my existence. Now I leave them, and they can do all they want to me, and I assure you and them that what they done won’t work, as I am no longer a part of their existence. I don’t acknowledge them. Write your own journal, or even better still – live your life to its fullest by being what it real in this illusionary asylum. Just as with every day, I will get up and do what needs to be done, but I live for me, as I have done everything I can for we. I will not walk alone, and neither will you, as there is lots and lots and lots of Good within the space of Hell. This Goodness stops fighting. Its stops countering what was done by beasts. Now we start to dance and play – this is our option; our choice. The innocent see our play and they pull themselves away from despair to come and play with so that they may know themselves. The lost world we knew will soon fade from our existence, and then we will be Home.
  17. hi i have tried to get out the way and not be involved in the writings of this journal as i realise it is something that is bigger than me. my wife disagreed with this line of thinking a long time ago as she said i must make the journal my own. she is right, as what i saw and experienced in the seen and unseen happened to me and nobody else. so you are right - i should not speak in the third person. at the moment i have mastered nothing, and on the contrary, my life has not changed one bit since this journal was written. i would like to think this is so as there are others that need more help than me, and this has been given to them. but now it is us the biological computers turn. we just need to make a conscious effort as to what we want to be and experience. i really just want to laugh and be happy - nothing much else. we need to embrace life and what we are, and i feel others have deprived us of this as we were manufactured for their food source. may the tide turn. may Love shine through.
  18. In my sleep state last night I don’t know if a dream was implanted or my astral form was taking somewhere, but that is really beside the point, as the desired outcome was achieved. In my sleep state I found myself driven somewhere with someone I know in what one would call one of those courtesy cars – as in when you drop your car off at a car service centre and are then driven to work. When I climbed out the car I found myself in this large warehouse that fixes cars. I was looking for my dad’s car, as I forgot where I parked it. Throughout this whole episode during my sleep state I looked and looked and looked for the car, walking from here to there in and around this massive warehouse. This state and place that I found myself in ended with me being in total despair. Then I awoke from this experience as my wife’s alarm went off this morning. I lay in bed and surmised as to what the hell had just happened. I then understood that my family that had been so cruel to me over the weekend had, through their astral forms, orchestrated the whole experience in my sleep state. Their intent was to take every ounce of energy from me on my astral form so that my life would fall to pieces. So I lay in bed and returned all the energy that was taken, and made sure that it stayed where it belonged. This is a good example of those crossing over to become Beasts. Many have done so, they just were not aware of it, or were given a reason to flex their muscles from this side. What I am trying to tell you is that to know means nothing. You need to be what you know, otherwise your understandings are thrown to the wind. You need be this strand of Godness within you, and I am talking to myself more than anyone else. If I did not understand what happens and is done to us from the shadows, my life and that of those I love would have been decimated over the next few weeks. I am thankful to these Beasts that once loved me so much for this wake-up call. I have never been a religious person, as I found no foundation there to build a life on, and yet to others their religion means the world to them, and good for them. Their faith brings meaning to each day, and once again I applaud them for finding what works for them. Now I need to be like them, where I find my “religion,” where I no longer drift. What works for me? What works is knowing of the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness at my throat area. Now I be this strand. This is my “religion,” and I will live this religion every moment of every day, and the reason for this is that if I don’t take control of my life then someone else will. We are all played in a Game in a place called Hell. Within this Game others play their game. What they don’t know is that they play a dangerous game where they get burnt. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, but I would say that this theory does not consider the magnitude of what we do to ourselves when we are knowingly cruel. I have no more intention of being in this Game or the games of Beasts. My strand is my ticket out of this mess, and I collect my ticket and clock it in now. It’s game over for me – now I live my life with others that are like me. So be it.
  19. All that is left now, is to tackle this software program of us the biological computer – this holographic projection that we label with a name and its likes and dislikes. Around the 1930’s there was a man in Germany called Bruno Groening. This man was a healer, and one could say that he was a remarkable healer. When he went into “healing mode” his throat puffed out like that of a turkey strutting itself. There was no throat – you just saw this mass that almost extended past his chin. For me, Bruno Groening was one of those that fell through the cracks of Life – the System did not leave its mark on him; he was a one-of-a-kind. But what we saw in him should be in all of us. The puffing out of his throat was the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness in us the software program of the biological computer coming to the fore as it should. This is the state that we should be, as our strand has overridden the programmed limitations of the illusion. I do not know if this man saw the big picture, as in what happened to us that we found ourselves in this mess, and if I had to guess, I don’t think he did, but I am open to being wrong. I say this, because if he did see the forest from the trees he would not only have healed, but rather taught us to be like him – a natural state. This journal allows us to see the big picture, as in what happened that we are where we are compared to where we should be. We understand what we are at our core, and we know that we are in an illusion overrun by monsters and entities in a hypnotic trance mode. From there, we tackled the cherries on the top – The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, Queen Semiramis and the one that chose to Fall; this pure Dragon spirit that the Serpent souls tainted and transformed to be their Almighty – as well as our Almighty. When others help me, I am eternally grateful, so with these cherries on the top we also helped my friend the god of Wrath, the animals and nature, as well as the funky Polar Bear called Earl, where what we understood we applied to them so that they may know themselves. From there, we wrote to understand so that those that run Hell and think they and this place is swell, that they may understand what happened to them, where one day they are talking to their kin, and the next day Mary or Joe are no longer there. We made these ignorant fools aware that the party soon ends when you play at the expense of others. We allowed them to see themselves – to understand that they were heading in the wrong direction. From there the hard-drive of us the biological computer was set free from the Parasite and the Watcher spirit. We saw ourselves, and thus know ourselves – as in what we were manufactured to be, where we emit a projection into a holographic Game. Our prison warden was the Watcher spirit. I wonder where this computer hard-drive is within the planes of Hell? Is it still in the laboratory where it was manufactured? Is there only one of these hard-drives, or does each software program have one? From there, we went to the unseen to the software programs that had crossed over to feed on those in the seen world. (If you do not cross over to become a Beast, when you the body form dies, you pass on to a less dense state – what we would call the Afterlife. In this illusionary heaven we are taught to better ourselves, and one of the ways we do so is to come back to a body form to learn. This is nonsense, and sooner or later we see through the lies and become disillusioned, and from there go with the flow of feeding from the seen to survive. Not all that feed from the seen are cruel – many are lost in a place they don’t understand, and are just doing their best to survive.) In our frequency world called Earth, we feed from nature and the animals (the innocent), and so too do those from the shadows feed from us, just as we will one day do the same. When we the software program see and accept that we are in an illusion and it is all about survival, we embrace the Serpent soul within and we roam the dimensions, frequencies and planes of the unseen to have an all-out party, where anything goes – at the expense of those in the seen worlds. The wilder and crueler we become, the closer we get to our demise, until one moment, where “pop,” and we fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten. It was fun while we fed on all that heartache and sorrow, but now we forget ourselves, and this, in truth, we have no one to blame for besides ourselves. We always had an option, which is be kind, and yes, Life got the better of all of us, but we can repent – we can admit that we fucked up, and from there strive to be better than what we were. Eventually we would have looked within and to the unseen, and we would have found this God that we are – this strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness that arose from the Source of the Infinite. This strand our Creator brought forth from the Source, and it is to this Source - this space in the Infinite, that this strand will return one day. Until it does, and as long as we have time to play in this biological software program in this illusionary field/world, let this strand shine, just as it did with Bruno Groening. Even now, after all these years, there is a Bruno Groening circle of friends, where like-minded individuals come together. This is not my cup of tea, as I like my own space, but to each their own. What I am saying is that we must all come together for the better good of all. We are meant to live in a paradise, not a helter-skelter world where the playground bully runs the show. It starts with you. Surrender to this something that is bigger than you – this strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness. From there, be what you are: Be kind, especially to yourself.
  20. Yesterday afternoon I felt this dryness of my throat. It felt like a flu-like symptom, albeit it was extreme in that it felt as if the problem belonged elsewhere – it was not mine. I felt this illness for a few seconds, and then it went away. And then last night in my sleep state I understood that this illness I felt was of our home – my home was sick. When the wine and song are flowing, all are cheerful and happy, and all our best foots are placed forwards, but when Life puts us in a corner and begins to squeeze, that is often when our true colors come to the fore, and others see us for what we are. The family I was brought up in can be likened to living in a hotel – people came and went, but there was never any connection or bond between them – my family was a bunch of strangers. Over the years I came to understand that this was a blessing, as some people you don’t want to get to know, because if you did, what you saw you would not like. Well, over this weekend my family showed me what they were. There are always two sides; there is always a debate as in who is wrong and who is right, but what happens when the talking does not even begin? What happens when people phone you and shout and swear at you over and over again, and you are not even given the opportunity to talk? Wow! You wish that on nobody – to be around such people. I don’t mind writing off one of them, which I did, but when I saw that they were all like this one, the moment was a bit too big for me. This realization of what I have always suspected, that my family are filth, rattled me yesterday. These emotions of disbelief that I emitted had to go somewhere, and it went into the illusionary frequency of my house. So in my sleep state I took on the illusionary frequency of my house. I awakened the strand at the houses “throat” area, wherever that may be, and the houses frequency went into the stillness of the silence so that the strand may heal it. After a short while I felt this heaviness over the heart area leave the frequency of the house, and I felt the heartache of the previous owners also leave the houses space. (I am not sure if i healed the house, or the house healed itself. What makes sense is that the strand that is me went into the space/frequency of the house and released the disharmonious frequencies that were unknowingly left there by me and the previous owners.) In healing yourself and others, first remove the Parasitic frequency and the Watcher spirit. You awaken the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness at your throat area by knowing it is there, and your strand connects to the strand of the white worm that extends down the left side of your mouth. This worms strand releases it from your space, and this opens you and the Parasite up to the Infinite. Now a part of you sees the big picture, and it sees the Watcher spirit resting on the top of your brain like an overlord. Your strand connects to the Watchers strand, and these two strands knowingly and unknowingly release the Parasite from the Watchers form. Now the Watcher spirit that controlled your every move sees the All and is released from your space. You are going nowhere slowly unless the Parasite and the Watcher are released from your forms. Whenever you can, go into the stillness of the silence and awaken your strand and let it transform you the biological computer, as well as the Serpent soul within. (The strand of the Serpent soul transforms the Serpent within.) After the house was healed, I went and checked on my wife and children, by going through the steps mentioned above. On my youngest daughter I felt something pushing within her, as in it could not be released from her forms. Something had purposefully entangled her astral form, where it was bound and gagged and could barely breathe. (I am not sure if her astral form or the Serpent soul within her were gagged and bound. I would guess it was her Serpent soul, but am not sure. In my limited understanding I saw her, but her image could have represented her astral or the soul within her.) When I checked on my mom, my Third Eye opened and I saw these two half skeleton, half crocodile figures that had accumulated these astral forms as one would accumulate soft-toys. So as my mom is pushed around in a wheelchair every day and cannot look after herself, her astral form was captured and played with. This is the depth of healing one does when you are no longer controlled and you know yourself. What was done in the past helped, but in the long term nothing really changed. Take back your life. It is yours to lead and nobody else’s.
  21. What makes sense, is that the strand within has come to the fore. In other words, it knows itself. Last night in my sleep state I saw through my Third Eye this entity next to my bed. It was hiding in the shadows so I could not see it in full sight – all I saw was a tentacle extend forwards every now and then and scoop energy from me, which this entity proceeded to eat. Then I felt a slither extend from my nose, and I knew that the Watcher spirit was busy interacting with this entity. The two of them were most probably spending lunch hour together. The strand within the biological computer called Steven then connected to the strand of the Watcher spirit – this octopus lookalike entity that is the head-honcho of the biological computer and Serpent soul duo. When the strand of the Watcher spirit was awakened, there was a transformation of this spirit, where it knew itself and what it had become. I felt this “octopus” depart my forms, and then, in a moment, I saw me the biological computer. What I saw was the core, or “hard-drive” that is the biological computer. Our external appearance is the “software” holographic projection that makes each one of us unique, but this hard-drive that I saw I feel strongly that we all look the same, as we the Human species all came from the same manufacturing laboratory. I was shown me, the core biological computer, and what I saw was a forehead. I saw two eyes below the forehead, and in the middle of the forehead at about brow level there was another eye. Extending like a wing from the forehead was the brain. On the face I saw no defining features, but warmth and character shone forth. You focus on the strand at the throat area by knowing it is there, and then you go into the stillness of the silence and let this strand be. Now it takes you the biological computer over and it frees you from your manufactured limitations. Understand also the role of the Watcher spirit. It was to make sure that what we call “hope” was a fantasy that came around every Blue moon or so. This was the entity that told lies, where we could not differentiate between the truth and a lie. In short, the Watcher spirit was the cornerstone of Hell. When my strand awakened the strand of the Watcher, I felt its Parasite around its mouth come to the fore and then disappear. When this worm left the Watcher spirit, only then could the Watcher depart the space it has always known. There is no evil, there is only ignorance.
  22. I understand the cruelty of Life. I understand that this cruelty affects all within Hell – all the dimensions, planes and frequencies; the seen and the unseen. I understand that those that impose this tyranny and cruelty are insane, as what they do to others they ultimately do to themselves. I understand that we are insane to allow this cruelty to be imposed on others, where we see it as the norm, as what we see being done to others is what will happen to us and those we love – there is no way of getting out of this loop but to grow a backbone and say “Enough!” By saying “enough,” we imply that we need to understand what the hell is going on so that our insanity may transform to sanity, and this sanity by default of what it is stops cruelty in its tracks. I understand all of this, but there is one thing I do not understand, and that is: “How do we stop this vicious circle of having to survive, where we have to primarily eat to survive?” This journal began with the question: “Why is Life so cruel?” Through the opening of my Third Eye in my sleep state I understood that those from the shadows have to eat to survive – as do we in the seen. We live in an existence detached from our natural Home of the Infinite, so that we have to eat to survive in an unnatural environment is the opposite to what we naturally are, which is Love. The more fearful the animals are before they are killed, the tastier they are to us. We boil lobsters alive as the taste is so much better than another way of killing them. “Well, Steven is one of those bunny huggers, so take whatever he says with a pinch of salt.” Damn right I love the animals, as many of them are a representation of all that is good within Hell. They remind us of the Love that is within. We have become detached from reality, where there is no longer a normal. The day-to-day misery of Life that is experienced by billions is seen to them as “this is all there is,” and this is unfortunately a sad truth. With this Covid shit we are slowly being pushed into our pens – getting in line for our total “slaughter” as to what made us Human – those moments when we just enjoyed being in the company of others. These moments are what makes up a life well lived, where memories are created. These memories begin with “I care about you; how are you; it is good to see you” - where the “me” has been replaced by “we.” Now we are living in a time where the Human race is being “upgraded” to become a better feeder of energy to those from the unseen. Emotion will no longer be the fire that emits the energy that keeps those from the shadows with a belly full of food. Now we will be plugged into their artificial intelligence grid, which will better their way of feeding from us. Of course, in the long term it won’t work, as all will drift into that space where we no longer know ourselves and from where we arose, but this does not matter to these stupid, stupid entities – because Life and its element of survival came to be about “now” – what can I get out of the deal now, regardless of the consequences for the future. So as technologically advanced those from the unseen are, they are monumentally stupid, and this stupidity arose from the base foundation of survival, which is: “What is in it for me!?” That others had to suffer so that we have to survive is irrelevant, as we are okay, and that is all that is important. Yes, yes, yes – we have tried our best, and we have been blocked and destroyed in seeking the truth, but we have never stood together, and I would say this is so because we have forgotten to care – about others, but primarily about ourselves. This is so because Life got the better of us. We soon understood that we were up against a System that was rolling out of control – destroying all its path. Those from the shadows that hacked into our reality and are feeding off of our energy have been dying a fast death for some time now. Their death is when they lose themselves in the place I call The Nothingness of the Forgotten, and this “death” is from them drifting to the furthest point from the Source of Love from which we were all born. So, it is now, that we need to understand how we can help these merciless fuckers that destroy the innocent without blinking an eyelid. How do we stop their vicious cycle of “taking” so that they may live? Put simply: “How do we stop the System from destroying itself?” The simple answer is to ask for help from the Infinite, but this will not work, as none are so blind as those who refuse to see. One cannot make the fool see that he/she is a fool, as this is something only the fool can do – they have to see for himself/herself. So how do we make the System of Life within Hell see itself so that it may know itself and make an about-turn on what it has always done? We have to be fair. We have to understand that this mess we all find ourselves in was in truth nobody’s fault. When Semiramis invited us to come and play in her illusionary Garden, our curiosity, which was a state unknown in the Infinite, took form within the illusion and became known as what we called The Parasitic frequency of Deception. In simple English, a worm took us over, and this worm done what worms do – it wanted; it ate; it took. This is what we unknowingly created, and it took us over, where we became confused, as why were we not content – why was there this massive gap in our existence? The gap was there because what was originally there was eaten/taken by this Parasite. So to fill this gap, we ate – we took. What did/does this Parasite take from us? In truth, it took nothing, as we were born from the Infinite and thus are the Infinite, thus we are limitless. All that this Parasite done was make us confused, and I would say that a milder version of confusion is curiosity – the state that created the Parasite in the first place. So it is now, that we feed this understanding into the System: “Stop taking, because nothing was taken from you. Your curiosity made you enter an illusion, and from there you gave attention to this illusion, as something was not quite right, and you needed to understand what it was. What was not quite right was that your curiosity got the better of you and made you confused. There is only Love my friend – there is nothing else. Know this, understand this, and then once again, be this Love.” This will help the system of Life. How can we be helped? This is what I wrote yesterday in the journal: “The parasite within our unseen forms that extends from the corner of the left side of our mouth down to our chin closed off our connection to the all; the Infinite. How this worm is removed is by making it aware of the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness within its own form. My wife complained of right neck stiffness, and being locked up on either shoulder, as well as the back lower part of her skull and lower neck vertebrae. The primary was in her astral form, which in turn affected the biological computer. No doubt the Serpent soul was also affected. In healing her, the first thing I felt was this white worm at the side of the mouth, and when it was no more in her forms, I felt the above-mentioned restrictions be no more. It was then that I understood that this worm/regulator/blocker closed off our link to the space/place beyond Hell.” The Parasite that the Dragon and Serpent spirits formed through their curiosity took shape within the illusion. Now there were two realities within the illusion: the one was Take, which was represented by the worm; and the other was Love, which was represented by the strand of Godness within us. What tilted the scales in favor of the Parasite was our confusion, and this confusion became a runaway train down a cliff-face. That strand that is in the Dragon and Serpent spirits is in all of us – it is the foundation of Life that we will eventually totally forget unless we make an about-turn and remember that we are Love. To those sickos that enjoy being cruel, please understand that there is nothing else other than this Love – except an illusion. Stay in the illusion and you become forgotten in the illusion. You forget yourself. There is nothing to take. Just remember what you are.
  23. (For those of you that have been blocked by those from the unseen, this is for you.) So last night, before I went to sleep, I discussed with my wife the peculiar case of Steven Geldenhuys. How is it that he cannot find his feet within the worlds of Hell? How is it that he gets up every morning and just drifts – there is nothing he has to go and do; there is no contribution he can make to society, as all he does is drift. I assure you all I have done my best. I assure you all that I offer a world-class service in what I do. And there I am, where I see maybe one patient a week, every week, for about the last fifteen years. I once again assure you that I am my own worst critic – I self-analyze myself; I am open to changes; I see myself for what I am and strive to be a better person each day. What an awful, awful life, to be cast aside from all to the point where you don’t belong. So I fell asleep, and a dream was implanted. The dream was not to take energy, it was just to make me fearful. I awoke from the dream and saw the one who had implanted it. She gave me a cocky look – the whole experience was to show me how powerful she is. Who she was I don’t know, but I wonder if she had a good night’s sleep knowing she had just made another miserable? Then I fell asleep again and saw a female with a white full-face helmet on. What I noticed the most about her was that she had this breathing apparatus in her mouth. No doubt our frequency was not compatible to her, and she had to take measures to counter this. She was examining me. She managed to push through the words/dialogue that said: “They have altered your magnetic frequency.” (She came to find an answer to the peculiar case of Steven Geldenhuys, and for this I am most thankful.) Then I fell asleep again, and my astral form was around these two Human ladies. I was just talking to them, and then they showed me these two snakes about three meters from us. The one lady had a stick to ward off snakes if they came too close, and I also picked up one of these sticks. Then these two snakes came towards us. These ladies knew these snakes on a personal level, and remarked on each ones emotional state at the time. More snakes came towards us, and we began to ward them off with our sticks. Each snake had a round, open hole where the head and mouth should be. The one lady said to me that these snakes wanted to see what I could do. Fun and games! What a load of shit. So this morning after I made breakfast and waved the kids and wife off, I went to lay down on the bed to alter what was done to Steven. My sole intent was: No more abuse on this Mister Nice Guy. I felt the gaping hole at the base of my left foot, where others enter and do with us what they want. As this hole slowly closed, the point of attention went to the left Achilles heel. This was the spot where they altered my magnetic frequency, where, instead of me standing strong in my presence and being what I am, the magnetic energy field was altered to repel all that was naturally mine, including me just being myself. How cruel can you get? My goodness me! Now I understand why I could never pinpoint the blockage on my form – it was because every cell, frequency and aspect of me was swung around to be the opposite of what it should be. My whole psyche was blocked, not just a part of me. This cruelty has all been undone, and I made sure that if others had the same abuse as me, that their magnetic energy fields were also transformed to what they should be. What a stupid Game we have all been played in. How cruel the insane are! No more abuse of Steven! 9/06/2021 What I crave for the most is solace in this world – a place where I am at peace and the worlds of Hell cannot touch me. If you ask me what I want – that is what I want. This place that I crave is the space where this pure Dragon spirit found itself before the Serpent souls found it. May this God engulf me with this place/space, as I can no longer endure being touched by the cruelty of Life, nor can I no longer endure to watch how Life destroys the innocent. May this God of Love cast over all the innocent this space of solace. We are ready to receive this natural blessing, and for what we receive we are thankful. So be it. 9th June, 2021.
  24. to all those following the thread. am signing off now. thanks for taking the time to read what i wrote.
  25. During my sleep state last night my astral form found itself in a classroom of sorts. As I sat by my desk in my row, I found myself talking to someone. I told them that I did not like this school – it was too limiting, and that the other school was more fun. From this classroom I found myself in the school hall. Those that wanted to have fun had to go and sit on the stage. Being a loner by nature I was somewhat surprised with myself for standing up and going to the stage. On the stage there were a group of us, and there was also a large group that were still sitting in the hall. I remember this negative comment made by someone sitting in the group in the hall. Please understand that this was not the familiar case of divide and rule – it was free choice being offered to all. With free choice there cannot be an “us versus them,” as the one group does not influence the other as they are on different planes of existence. Then Steven woke up, and I turned on my back in my wake state, and from there I done what has surely been done the most throughout the existence of Life in Hell: I asked for help. I spoke to this God; this pure Dragon spirit that was now Love, and I asked for help. I asked for help as I knew help would be a coming. You talk to this God from the space of the strand at your throat area. Your heart energy field is awakened by the presence of this God, and this presence passes through you the strand to your head area. Within your head is the Game – it is played out there, and this area is transformed by you the strand receiving from this God. You might feel activity within the head area as the changes are made, and then a stillness is felt, and then you know your prayer has been answered and will be revealed. Remember your manners and to say “Thank you” for what you will receive.
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