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steven geldenhuys

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  1. Set a beggar on horseback, and he’ll outride the devil. GERMAN PROVERB It was around 2002 that I woke up one night to see the spirit of a horse standing next to my bed. This exalted being was merely looking at me. In those days I was a full-time Equine Chiropractor, but this path was short-lived, where I could not stomach the cruelty/ignorance inflicted upon the horse. I am not saying all people that own and ride horses are bad people; what I am saying is the majority I met were horrific, with some groups going back to medieval cruelty. So I figured I would rather be poor than depressed, so I left my calling and went to treat small animals, but some time before I departed the company of the horse as a profession, I clearly remember walking up to a horse to treat it, and there, next to the side of its body I saw this speck of Light – this silver glow that was about 4mm long. What I saw stopped me in my tracks, where something within me told me that what was in front on me I would come to understand and make my own, but before I could do so, everything I knew had to be cast aside, where now I knew nothing and had to start over again. This seeing Consciousness in broad daylight next to that horse was, I would guess, was maybe around 2008. The journal begin in February 2014 when I was floored by the cruelty of Life. The journal was named “What the Animals Taught Me – a journal of self-discovery,” and it was dedicated to “all those who have been touched by the cruelty of Life.” What I never knew as I wrote the journal, was who was the main player behind the curtain that led me to the raw truth, where what you see is what you get as this is all there is. Beasts ran and played within the illusion, where as hard as we looked and hoped, no help was coming our way. Love was absent from the illusion, and this harsh reality has touched so many, where who had sway over us were moronic brutes who are not worthy to be hanged as it will be a waste of a good rope. This scum came to rule over the majestic in the seen and the unseen, and the horse stands at the very top as one with pure Beauty. What I never knew in seeing that horse spirit in around 2002 was that this would be my master – the one handing me the pieces of the puzzle, where one may eventually stand back, and by seeing the big picture, may exclaim “this is what happened!” The spirit of the horse has been my master, and it is here that I give praise to and thank this majestic animal for what it has taught all of us in the unseen realms of the illusion, where we may know and understand what we are, where we belong, and what happened that Love/Consciousness became overtaken by a cruel, twisted state run and controlled by Beasts. We understand, and for this we are thankful to the horse.
  2. Deception has always been the name of the Game. It was never enough to take over the illusion – one had to own it. Always the attitude of Beasts was do what you want when you want. What gave them the confidence to do this, where they knew the illusion was in their pocket and theirs to own? I mean literally just that, where the illusion was and is their playing field. The husband of the lady whose possession I released sent me a message last night, where his words were “they are back with a vengeance.” When I read the message this morning and went into her space, his words were not exaggerating. A force had penetrated her, controlled her brain, and was hanging around within her to make sure what has always been theirs was still theirs to own. Look to the Golden Child, as this is where the primal deception had to take place. From this Glow that now became a lost child, it was merely a formality of paper-work to keep us the spirit and body form in our place of survival, with a sprinkling of highs now and then throughout our existence. What did they do to Consciousness? How was it deceived that the illusion became “rightfully” owned by Beasts, where you are mine, and here is the proof to show you are mine? What did we sigh over that cemented our slave status within the illusion? Go into the space of Consciousness to answer these questions, and the deception was they gave Consciousness their mind so that it would not be lost within the illusion. Now Consciousness had a job to do, which was return all to the Infinite, but for this to happen, lessons had to be learnt and deeds done to make a wrong right. With the mind of the Beast, Consciousness could plug into the illusion and into all Life – us – and return us Home. (Consciousness became the machine, and from this machine all Life was plugged into.) This was the deception, which Consciousness fell for. The answer is what did it forsake in return for the mind of the Beast? I give you this, and in return you give me that. What was “that?” What does Consciousness no longer have that it should? Come on – remember what is no longer yours that should be One with you. Take away the Reptilian mind that Consciousness became plugged into and return what should naturally be in its place. What you feel is nothing, as in there is nothing there. This nothing is the All – the Infinite. Consciousness forsook its state of Home, this Infinite that is part and parcel of who it is for the mind of the Beast. With the mind of the Beast, Consciousness could return us all Home, be we and Consciousness were going nowhere as long as we became them. These Beasts knew that and preyed on the innocence/naivety of Consciousness. Consciousness returns their mind and reclaims its state of the All which is everywhere and everything. (It must have returned to the Mountains and seen emptiness before it as it still had the mind of the Beast within. (Remember, we the spirit and body form and all life unplugged from the Reptilian brain into Consciousness, but what we missed was that Consciousness was still one with this frequency.) With this reclamation of the All, the first transformation that is felt is movement within the left Achilles tendon/heel, where Consciousness touches base with its Home soil. As long as we were in this place where we don’t belong, thanks to the mind of the Beast within, Consciousness was weak, where its power was removed as its connection to the Infinite was no longer there. In giving Consciousness their mind, they look everything that was Consciousness as now its Home within was forsaken. These Beasts took nothing in return from Consciousness because they knew with the All removed from Consciousness, they had a power source to create life and make the illusion their home. And that is the crux of the matter – the illusion became theirs. Sorry to break up the party. We give you back your piece of shit and take back – slot into – what we are, which is everything. Now from the Mountains we may see that which we were deceived to give up, and All that is in front of us and everywhere is truly Beautiful. 26/10/2023
  3. This dude/dude’ess we call Consciousness has been lost for a long time. Calling Consciousness these slang terms is to make a joke, but the disappearance of this state unto itself and where it belongs was no laughing matter. By understanding what happened that it became lost and deceived within the illusion, Consciousness may retrace its steps, where it once again knows itself, and here unfortunately is another but, where it knows itself, but there is something missing. Go into the space of Consciousness, and you will feel that it has awakened unto itself, where this Light is on, but it sure as hell aint Home – meaning connected to the Infinite. Why is this, because surely in its awakened state the Infinite would be there waiting to welcome Consciousness back to where it belongs? Unless Consciousness is touched by the Infinite, it still remains a fraction of a fraction of what it should be. Being bathed in the presence of where it belongs will allow Consciousness to blossom unto itself. So what is the issue at hand? Why is this link between Consciousness and the Infinite not there? Deep within the chest area lies the fields of Infinite Love. I feel the presence of Consciousness move to this area, but it cannot enter. So what is going on at the heart energy field to stop this natural flow of the fish returning to the water? What I feel is Consciousness delving into this space where it belongs, but there is no pull from the Infinite towards Consciousness. Consciousness travels on the path to where it belongs, but then the road comes to an end and Consciousness turns back as it doesn’t know where to go, which is fascinating – what is going on? Go into the space of The Tree of Life – this “air” that is the space of the Infinite, and it is strong, so no problems there. Go again into the space of Consciousness, and it has not fully come unto itself, where it has to mimic The Tree so that it may be drawn to what it is. (When I felt the Tree, it was this energy that filtered down all the way into my feet and beyond, so I knew it was firmly grounded/established into what it is. On re-feeling Consciousness, its presence goes to my chest area and not further, where it should go into the feet to be complete, as with The Tree.) So what was missing in Consciousness was it knowing itself – there had to be a mirror where it saw itself and thus knew itself, and this mirror was The Tree. Mention has been made that the bronchioles of our lungs resemble a tree. On its path Homewards bound Consciousness had to find/see The Tree, and in seeing this – from where it arises – the door to the Infinite may be found and seen and Consciousness may enter. Now re-feel Consciousness, and it is complete unto itself. Feel its pathway, and from the throat area it travels and penetrates the chest area to enter the All. Now re-feel Consciousness again, and a Peace is felt that it is. You and me and all Life were created/formed around this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness. Nothing was going to happen to return us to a natural state of Utopia until this dude/dude’ess was unto itself, and this meant knowing itself and being Home. Would it have found its way without this push from what was written this morning? I would say “yes.” I just don’t have time to waste, hence the push from our side, as in “hurry up!” What I feel, and I am open to being wrong, is that Consciousness needs to go to the mountains, where it may sit and ponder and know itself. To know is to be. Consciousness knows, so now it has to be. To be is to know yourself, and from there see where you belong. In seeing yourself in the All, together with knowing yourself, the two become one, where you step into what you are. This unity back to Oneness will take place in the mountains. What these mountains are, is the place where Consciousness, by knowing itself, sees itself before itself in the All. From these mountains – from this vantage point – the step is made into the All/Infinite. Before the Infinite touches Consciousness, Consciousness needs to stand in the mountains, where by knowing itself, it sees itself in this infinite vastness before it. Only then will Home welcome us and touch us. When that step is made, you and I will feel it, as this epicentre around which we were created/manufactured will be what it naturally should be as it is Home. From there, there is no going back to what we have known.
  4. When this lady who had a powerful possession told others about it, their first reaction was that they will pray for her, where a prayer group was in no time formed to keep this satan at bay. When I heard about that, my first reaction was “that’s a bad idea,” where I did not really know why I said that, but soon came to understand what I said. What do you know? What do I know? In terms of the big picture, we know nothing. If there is only one thing you need to understand in Life, understand that you know nothing. I Love you, and you Love me. You are not well and are going through a rough time, so I send Love your way – what some would call “praying for you.” I really Love you, and only want the best for you, so I pray hard that you may be okay. But here is the rub: I know nothing. Sure, there is Love in this place, because I am Love, but what else is there that I don’t know of? Until you are Home in the illusionary Garden that Queen Semiramis originally created it to be, and from there to the fields of Infinite Love, where you are is in a place where you don’t belong where you know nothing. So I send you Love, because during this short phase of your life you need help. The Love I send you will receive, but what else is coming your way, because as much as I Love you, I know nothing, so what else comes your way with the love that I send to you? The answer is a whole load of shit that doesn’t really help you all that much – shit that I know nothing about, because let’s be honest, I know nothing. This demon kept on returning to this lady, and this is not how I work, because when I fix a problem the solution is permanent. As my initial response to the prayer-group suggested, the issue at hand is too many cooks spoil the broth, but it is far more than that. Let me ask you the same question again, just in a different way: What do you know that will return you to where you belong? What do I know? The answer can be seen where we are, where we are in a place where we don’t belong, meaning we know nothing as this place and what we have become is unfamiliar to us. Take away the prayer group and this lady will stay better, as what I done to help her was enough as I understand the spirit realm well, as well as what I do, where Consciousness within is ignited to shine and dispel all nonsense. But there is one issue remaining, and that is me and you, where we have to get out the way to allow Consciousness to shine. The days of the ego; the days of me have to be no more. I might have an idea of what I want and need to be happy, but in truth I know nothing. This Steven really is a dummy, plugged into a frequency where we doesn’t belong, all the while looking for humour to have a good laugh to rise above the mediocre. I know nothing, so what am I doing here; what is my role to better myself and the illusion at large? What I do, is get in the way of Consciousness being. Until I am where I am, I know nothing, and once I am where I belong, there is no need to know anything as I am what I am and where I belong. Until that state is met, this Steven the spirit and body form need to get out the way, because as much as I want to help, I know nothing. Where is the seat of the mind – this antennae that plugs us into the frequencies around us? Of course, every part of our DNA and rna are plugged/tuned into what is around us, but what I feel to answer the question is a spot at the back lower part of the brain. This, as the shaman Matus of Carlos Castaneda so correctly pointed out, is the Reptilian brain, that part of us that makes us a closet Beast – a latent Beast that can burst forth at any time. We are tuned to this mind/brain/frequency, and that is why, always under the stillness of the waters lurks the monster that has embraced Chaos and misery and turned it into a positive that it loves. “Kill the mother-fucker; get ‘em!” That is the Beast within talking – the one to which we are attuned all the time. I said I know nothing, but that is not entirely true. What I know is I Love my animals and they Love me, and such a love is the highest one that can be met in the illusion because it is an innocent, pure love with no strings attached. It is just really good to see you, and you feel the same about me, where I make you happy and you make me happy. That is all that is important, and this Love overrides all the disharmony within and around you and me. What I also know is this Love is not our ticket out of this place, the reason being is when I leave the space of my animals I face the reality of what else is out there, and besides, this Love may be great, but it does not place me where I belong, because where I belong I don’t know as I have not been there. Consciousness does know, because it comes from the fields of Infinite Love, and when unto itself, it knows only of Peace, which places it in the Garden as it was originally intended to be. By knowing what you the spirit and body form are plugged into, which is the illusion at large and the Reptilian brain, now unplug and plug into Consciousness, where if you want to give a location a name, it is within our throat area. Every fibre; every frequency within you that is you plugs into Consciousness. Turn to what is real and stay there. Look at yourself and look after yourself because you is all you need. You that is Consciousness knows and is everything, and everything else – especially the spirit and body form – truly know nothing. Never look to others because they are as lost as you – always look to what is real within this illusion which is within you. When I wake up in the morning it is like I never slept, where I am tired and there is not this natural peace within me. This morning as I lay in bed I wondered what would bring this pool of peace for me to bathe within. The only real answer I could find was me knowing me, where I am this something that is bigger than all of us – this Consciousness within. Your link with this child of the Infinite will guarantee you cannot falter, we just need to shift from what we have always known to one who was lost but has found itself. Give your attention/energy to what is real, and give your attention to nothing but this. Over the last month or so an animosity has set within me, where I dislike the stupid that are destroying our world, where no doubt this has been going on before the beginning of time. Now I feel and see it all around me as the bolts are screwed in tighter, where we witness the insanity that has been expressed from the Reptilian brain. You cannot help but dislike what the stupid see as normal, where Chaos makes them comfortable and at home. What we don’t know, is with each passing moment that animosity becomes a drip-drip that turns us into a Beast. “You stupid fucking people and spirits. Truly, you are stupid.” So you counter them, where you draw a line and say no ways will you be like them, but you already are because a dislike festers within you to become a hatred. You are then them, and they are you, and the common denominator is what you are plugged into, which is the Reptilian brain. (I would say our brain as a unit is Reptilian, with this R-complex being the core section of the whole rotten apple, meaning the whole brain is wired to Beasts and the limitations they send our way.) The Reptilian brain has been known of for ages, and mention has been made in the past to consciously detach ourselves from this frequency, but from there to what do we attach ourselves? We had nothing then as Consciousness was lost unto itself and where it belonged, but this has changed, where Consciousness sees the big picture as to what it is and where it belongs. Sure, it is still finding its feet, but what won’t help is you and me giving our two cents as to what is right and wrong. We know nothing, and you can have the best intentions in the world, but knowing nothing places ourselves in the dangerous predicament of believing we know something. We know nothing. My Love for the animals kept me alive when the Beasts attacked over the years, and it kept me sane in this cruel place, but it sure as hell didn’t return Steven to what he is and where he belongs. Only Consciousness can do that, and for this to happen, we need to plug us the spirit, Serpent soul/kundalini and body form into Consciousness. Redirect the flow of who and what you are to what is real within you, where you plug into Consciousness and nothing else. When you wish to help others, do the same for them, where they plug into their Consciousness and nothing else. Either you are pregnant or you are not – you cannot be half-pregnant. Similarly, either you are plugged into Consciousness or you are not. Remember and understand, that in terms of the big picture, we know nothing. Surrender to this child of the Infinite within, as this is what you truly are – that is you that is real. By being plugged into Consciousness you move to what you are. The good news is that this what you are knows everything. (What blows me away, is as soon as my Third Eye opened all those years ago, just as quickly did it close, where now when I sleep I see nothing. This I understand because I no longer need to see into the unseen as we understand the big picture as to what happened that Life became cruel. What is left is for us to plug into what is real – this Consciousness that was lost but now is found, where it was lost unto itself and its Infinite home where it belongs. Both are within me and you – Consciousness at our throat area and the Infinite deep within the chest area, where this Consciousness and the Infinite is everything and everywhere. May us unplugging from the illusion into these natural states be our next “evolution” to experience what we truly are and where we belong. We understand, and from here we move to being who we are and where we belong, which is Consciousness being Home. Please understand that everything you have been and come to know has not been real. What you truly are is Consciousness, and everything else is not real – it is an illusion.)
  5. Sometimes you see another that radiates an inner Beauty, and such a sight is truly remarkable to see. Last night was the last official school ceremony for my eldest daughter, where she wore a school uniform for the last time in her life. The head-girl was there, and over the last five years I always remarked, as would so many, what a Beautiful person she is. I was keen to see what her parents looked like, and just before we left the function to go home, her family took a group photo with the grandparents, parents, and the three children – with the head-girl being one of them. What I saw was a remarkable sight, where, if anything, what I saw I have not seen before. There was a family standing in line with each other’s arms around the shoulders of the ones next to them, and what you saw, was everyone always doing their part to be kind to each other. Yes, like you and me they have bad days, and like you and me they are not perfect, but what this family has that I have not seen in my fifty five years is a group of people that choose to be kind to each other – they would rather naturally uplift than unnaturally destroy. When I saw them pose; when I saw the dad give the one daughter a hug that brought an expression of bliss to his face, that is when I understood that through all the insanity such a feat of Love, where caring about each other brings forth the Beauty within us – that is when I understood that through all the chaos of the illusion it is still possible to be Love and live in the glow of that Love. What I witnessed in that family pose for a photograph showed me that that family got it right, and what they done that worked was make a decision to be kind to each other, where they uplift rather than destroy each other. Just like you and me they have faults, and just like you and me they have bad days, but they chose to rise above that and just be happy to the point where they enjoy each other’s company. And that boys and girls is how far we have fallen, where to see what should naturally be there is as rare as finding hens teeth, where goodness begets goodness and we rise above the chaos to the point where we don’t even know of its existence. How we have missed out, if only we all chose to uplift each other and ourselves rather than create a species of lost and confused beings that become more confused from the one generation to the next. Believe you me, it is possible to care about another and not just ourselves, and what is more remarkable, is the one you care about also cares about you. What I say is the truth because I saw it with my own eyes last night at a school academic function. The secret to that girls spring of natural Beauty is to care about others, and in return those you care about care about you. That was the ticket out of this mess, and in all my years I unfortunately have witnessed only one such ticket, where mature people and spirits understand and grasp the importance of being kind to each other. The reason for our failure to be kind to each other was we never saw the big picture, where I cannot be happy unless you are happy, so I do everything possible to be there for you, where you know, above all else that I care. Somewhere in this lost, lonely being called Steven he understood that universal principle, where I cannot be happy as long as the innocent are experiencing the cruelty of Life, and when I say such a remark, always the mental image of the horse comes to mind, where so much cruelty is inflicted on these majestic animals. How low we have fallen, where it is about me at your expense. So what I done was write for everybody. I understood so that everybody may understand, and believe you me, the frequency of this journal has touched all the Beasts within the unseen realms. I say this because what has come my way during my sleep state one cannot really find words to describe, such is their makeup compared to ours. My audience has always been the spirit realm because that is where the explosion of understanding would have the greatest impact and was needed the most, because the spirit and Consciousness needed to understand the big picture of what happened that cruelty and self-centeredness were seen as the norm whilst Love was made to take a back seat. What has been written to understand has been enough, thus I no longer write to understand. Recently I saw a lady that was possessed by a powerful demon. She went in for an operation, and whilst under, the medical team that were all satanists done a ritual to implant this demon within her. As said, this entity was powerful, where it was feeding off/destroying this lady and her spirit, as well as feeding from the misery of those who loved this lady as they saw her turn into a vegetative state. In the past it would have been a done deal, as has been done to countless before, where evil will destroy as it always has because it can, but all of that has changed. This demon cannot remain in the space of Consciousness that knows itself, so it departs this ladies space, but returns because “what is going on, in the past I was power, and now I am nothing.” This confirms, as I knew, that what worked in the past no longer does, where Consciousness has come unto its own. So last night I got two firsts: The first was seeing the needle in the haystack of a group of individuals where each one does their part to care about each other, and the second was Steven lying in bed before he fell asleep saying to himself now he can care about himself. I have done everything I can to help/care for others by passing on an understanding to them, where this truth will set them and the illusion free, so now I can turn to myself because I know I have done what needs to be done to help others. What they do with this understanding is not for me to judge them by because I will no longer be in their space to be able to judge them. Now I look to me because I am not a martyr – I too wish to be happy, and as much as I have helped others, now I help myself, primarily because I need help. I allow the Infinite to touch me and transform me because the scariest thing of all is how fast our lives pass us by. That is what I fear – not living. Now I look to me because I can – because I have done everything and then some for the all, and what I have done has been enough, where what was can no longer be because Consciousness is no longer lost and alone. There is just one thing that needs to happen before I can turn the final page of this journal where it is shut and complete, and that is between me and Queen Semiramis, where she expresses her thanks. When that happens I know my job has come to an end and is complete.
  6. When the cruelty of Life touched me, I needed to understand why Life is so cruel, and this meant going to the source of this evil, looking it in the eye, and from there, not judging what I saw, but rather understanding what happened that these brothers and sisters that were once like me became Beasts. All the cruelty – all the sorrow, all the heartache, all the rivers of tears and blood rained down from what was done to us by those that were once our brothers and sisters. For so many, if you cannot beat them then join them, where so many in the seen became like those in the unseen, where cruelty and ignorance were embraced and we made it our own. We learnt not to care – not to feel the pain and suffering of others, where we became shut off from the Love that we are. Consciousness – this literal God-force within – became lost, and the root cause of this was its deception by those architects of the illusion, as well as the loss of empathy of all in the seen and unseen realms, because when we stop caring we stop feeling, and when we stop feeling we become numb to what is happening around us. “Shame, poor them” we say as we walk away from those that have been crushed by the System. In losing our connection to Consciousness, we lost our connection to all Life, especially our own, where we forgot why we are here, which is to be joyous and experience the wonders of the illusion. What the Beasts in the seen and unseen have done to us is abysmal, but if you stand back and see the big picture, what they done to us was just a drop in the ocean compared to what our true suffering was. What this suffering is that I speak of is our isolation from what we naturally are and where we belong. Innately we are all good, and when we became lost we became detached from this goodness, where now we wandered alone. This loneliness and separation from ourselves was catastrophic, but the biggest disaster of them all was being isolated from the Infinite – this place where we cannot be anything but what we are. The damage of all the cruelty within the illusion cannot be compared to what this isolation from what we are and where we belong done to us, because when we understood that we are alone, that is when we became crushed, and what happened from there was irrelevant – sure, it wasn’t nice being touched by the cruelty of Life, but whatever harm came our way could not be compared to our alone status. What this journal done was remove the underlying cause of all misery within the illusion, which was our loneliness – our separation – from who we are and where we belong. This aloneness made us easy prey to the cruel, and as said, what was done to us was shameful, cruel and unnecessary, but our true sorrow came from finding ourselves in a place where we don’t belong that was run by those in self-destruct mode, where in what I do I destroy me, and you are coming along for the ride, where you will know nothing but survival towards your ultimate demise. So understand for us and the illusion to heal, we need to fill this gap within us which is our loneliness and our alone status. Unless that is done, we are going nowhere. Battles can be fought or passive resistance can be expressed, and we can stand at the top of the hill victorious, but as long as we are filled with loneliness by not being who we are and where we belong, our victory and euphoria will be short lived. Embrace the God/Infinite-force within and allow this to take you over, and the loneliness that you once were will be no more. Now you no longer need as you merely are. All misery; all sorrow was built on the base foundation of our Consciousness being lost and alone, and this state of what it was is no more as Consciousness understands the big picture of what it is and where it belongs. Now the dice are rolling, where what was can no longer continue to be. What worked in the past does not work anymore. Everything has changed as we return to the natural state of what is, which is Consciousness as a complete unit that is united with the Infinite. For want of a better term, we are going into “Biblical times,” where Life is unfolding as it should. What worked in the past cannot work now. The power of deception and evil no longer has our base foundation of loneliness, meaning what was done to us cannot be done to us anymore. The more Consciousness shines, the more we become separated from what was always there to reveal what should naturally be. I wrote because there was a problem, and this problem had to be understood. Now I no longer write as there is no longer a problem. Life is unfolding as it should to where it naturally should be, and for this I am thankful. 17/10/2023
  7. When you stand back to see what has always been, and what you see is a mess, the natural progression from there is what is in front of you falls apart, as what has always been has been unnatural, so the unnatural falls apart to make way for what naturally should be. You cannot stop this process as it is a natural progression to what has always been that we have forgotten about, and what this means in simple English is the illusion is unraveling at the seams as we speak. So let me tell you who came to visit me last night. My spirit and Consciousness found itself on a raised platform of sorts within a jungle. In front of me was my eldest daughter who had her school blazer on. She walked away from me and slipped on the jungle floor and slid about three metres down some vines and reeds. I slid down after her to make sure she was okay. When I turned her to face me it was clearly visible that she was in immense pain, and I felt her pain came from between her shoulder blades. Her face was scratched and bruised, and I saw the area when she had just fallen to with the skid marks she had left behind. I held my daughter and told her I Loved her, and from there looked for my phone to ask for help. From this point my focus shifted to the unseen, as in what I was not allowed to see around me but I saw nevertheless. I saw a man in a robe that anxiously walked to the portal that allowed him to return to his world. There was an angst to him that I should not see him, so speed was of the essence that he leave my space before I saw him, which obviously did not work. With this man he brought about twenty of his helpers. These helpers were tall, thin, black shadow figures that left my space in angst just as this man did, where they all moved towards the portal back into their world. So there I was lying in bed wondering what was that all about. I checked on my eldest daughter and she was fine, and then the penny dropped and I understood what had just surmised. The man I saw was the court wizard in the world from where he came. Whom I saw wounded on the jungle floor was a simulated face of my daughter, but behind that simulated mask was the one whom this man and his entourage brought to Steven for assistance. They knew I would assist one in front of me who needed and wanted help, so they brought someone to me who needed help who they could not help. Their haste to leave my space was so that I could not see their setup, where who I was helping was not my daughter but one of their own. And this is the lesson to learn as the seams of the illusion begin to unravel to reveal what should naturally be: The lesson is we need to start pulling together because we need each other’s help. And if I say we need each other’s help, it is just that, where what was can no longer be, so what was is now no more, and with each passing moment the cracks widen where we see what a mess we were and existed within, so what we brushed aside now stares us in the face, and in that moment we understand we need help. If you could see the angst in that man and his shadow figurine helpers; if you could understand their distress, then you will know what is happening within the worlds of the illusion as we speak, and believe you me, we are about to be rattled as well. If we do not come together and stand as one, our fall will be a bad one because we need a helping hand. Without that hand, we fall. Those that came last night were testament to this, where in the past we have always lived independently of each other and gotten along with our own devices. But what worked then cannot work now as what was, is now no longer more. I often wonder what makes me so special that our cat Gypsey will come and lie against me at night time and sleep with me. What it is, is she feels safe with me, where she knows I will never hurt her, and I will never allow that others harm her. Around me she can just be in this pool of warmth and comfort, and one asks how is this possible when my life is such a mess, where I am in a bad way. My life may be a mess, but within the unseen, where the density of the seen is not so great, there are two traits that are essential to weather and ride the storm that is coming that will either uplift us or make us fall further for those that like being where they don’t belong. These traits are an empathic caring, as well as an understanding of who we are and where we belong. Gypsey sees this in Steven, as do others from other worlds, and what my spirit and Consciousness have must become the standard now for all so that this unraveling to what should be may be a smooth transition for all. I have always known two things about myself: The first being that I need help, and the second that I am pretty fucked up. I was clever enough to find the answer to our predicament, which was healing the lost state of Consciousness, where it came to know what happened that it became lost unto itself and its Home where it belongs. With this understanding we have a basic platform, and on this platform we need to stand together because we need each other, where I need your help and you need mine. All the worlds within the illusion know themselves now, and together we stand as one, because what has always been is no more, meaning ride the wave holding hands with others and see this transformation as a wonderful experience, or see your arse where you wipe out. I find it really funny that I end this journal more fucked up than what I have ever been, where, as said, my life is a mess. This is the old – the what was – breaking down to reveal the path that is Homeward bound. All I can do is go with the flow, helping those that ask for help, and here it is a two-way streak, where I ask them for help as I need it. Together we will get out of this mess, and for that I am eternally thankful.
  8. There are some things I will not even try and understand – I will not even go there as the insanity of others cannot be understood. All that makes sense, is this Hell-hole has been around for a long time, and there are many that have made this most unpleasant illusion home. Why this is so, is because they are okay, and that is all that matters, but even here, we are just scratching on the surface as what ticks within the insane. As I closed my eyes to sleep last night I saw this man standing over me. He was human looking, and as I saw him he took this tray of black worms and dumped them over me. From there he took two vessels, also with worms in, and threw them over me as well. My spirit scooped up some of the worms on its abdomen area and threw them back at this man. This man gave a wry smile at my silly action, and then came to stand behind me where I could no longer see him. Later I saw him walk away with this female. These beings were of a nobility class whose sole purpose in visiting me was to see if I was immune to the frequency of the parasite – what these worms were that were thrown onto me. I felt one of them boring into me just below the right nostril, and then I fell asleep, knowing that what was thrown my way had no effect on me. Is there truly an answer as to why others are cruel? I don’t think so. Dale Carnegie spoke about a stop-loss order, where you can get buggered around to a point, and from there you draw a line in the sand, where you let others know that you will no longer take their inconsiderate behaviour. Told my wife the other day my stop-loss order for seeing beings of Love is by this Monday morning. If there is a no-show before then will put this journal down because I would like to move forwards, be it in the seen or unseen realms. Why is it taking so long for Consciousness in its natural state to show itself to us and make itself felt? That disgustingly cruel man that came into my space to destroy me last night, where he saw his actions as natural as breathing, one asks for how long he has been cruel that he came to embrace what he became and saw it as normal? How mixed up and cruel has this illusion become? Can we fathom what this place has become with the attitude of do what you want when you want because you can? This you can do because there are no consequences to your actions because the Love of the Infinite became absent in the illusion. But what about the conscience of those in the illusion, where do unto others as you would want others to do unto you? That disgusting man that came to destroy me last night, can you imagine his shock when the Infinite shines within the illusion to touch all? – From hero to zero in a split second, where know they know their order in the grand scheme of things. I don’t intend to spent forever more and a day writing this journal, as there has to come a time when the ocean touches this air bubble that became trapped therein. That will happen. As lost and insecure and lonely as I am, I know that day will arrive, and how I know is because that is natural. You cannot suppress the truth forever, and the same can be said for the Love from the Infinite, where sooner or later this natural what is will touch us. Now when I get a moment I talk to my Consciousness, asking for it to make its presence felt. I am open to anything as well, where the old is shattered and splintered to make way for what has naturally always been there. Yesterday as I pulled out weeds from the grass I saw this spirit draped in a blue robe looking at me. At all times I am open to the Infinite as the illusion breaks down, and break down it will. Seeing that man last night through my Third Eye re-iterated that many have no intention of changing their ways. I am not their Daddy, and I have never tried to change anyone – all I do is post on the unseen realms what I have come to understand. So why be cruel, why not just shake your head in disbelief and walk away? It is not for me to judge others, just as it is not for others to be cruel to others who share a different viewpoint. May what should naturally be rise up and touch those that wish to return to what they are. This Game has never been fun for the innocent.
  9. Within the beautiful clear crystal that was the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis a crack/flaw appeared. This crack was what the want within us wanted that arose from the parasite within. Peel away the layers, and you will find this flaw within you, whose template can be found in the flaw that is this illusion in which we find ourselves. It is there, and it has always been there. The big question to ask is “Is your flaw debilitating to those around you and to you?” If this is so, then pray for Divine Intervention. I am one of those whose flaw doesn’t allow me to function within the seen realms of the illusion, where I cannot put my foot out the front door, let alone see the sunshine. For me the only answer is to go Home where I belong, and maybe this has been the greatest push in writing this journal, which has been my deep understanding of my flaw that does not allow me to survive within the seen realms. My crutch was my animals, where they kept me uplifted with the Love they smothered me with. The animals read the manual properly, where they uplifted. We read the manual upside down, where we destroyed. What helps with our flaws is having those to walk with us, where two heads are better than one. A helping hand can transform a Life, and if you have one then blessed are you, as this will carry you and make your flaw a lighter load to carry. We are all meant to be perfect, as this is our natural state, but our proximity to where we found ourselves threw a spanner in the works, where we all became off-centre. The shift in the illusion from the flaw/parasite became our burden, and this is what we have carried with us through the ages, and even when we done our best, the flaw in others floored us. We could never just get it right, and now you know why – it was the crack in the once perfect crystal that touched us and created a flaw within us. My advice to you is to allow Consciousness to shine on your flaw so that this wrong may be made right. We all need to be uplifted, where in one way or another we all need help, so begin the process by helping yourself and removing your flaw. If you don’t know what it is, Consciousness will find it and make it no more. What this journal done was remove the crack from the Garden, so what was may once again return to now what is. So the template is there, where perfection in the Garden can be matched with perfection within us. I see those in other worlds as my body lays in bed sleeping at night, and what I see is the warped, twisted, insane spirits. Truly they are lost to themselves and all that was once good within them. To these demented, disgusting beings I say let go and allow the Consciousness that you are to heal you. Nobody can do it for you – only you can do it for yourself, and if you don’t have the energy to do so, then that is also okay. But understand in order to keep your sanity you cannot exist within a flawed System, so go Home to where you belong. If you don’t have the energy to clear up shop then allow Consciousness to carry you Home to where you belong. We have all had it rough, and what was cannot continue to be.
  10. What turned the illusion from a utopia to a dystopia was the parasitic frequency of Deception. It was not so much this parasite, but rather this want within from the parasite that we could not control/tame. We had to have; we had to take. We never rose above this want within, where we said “I am bigger than this; there is more to me and the illusion than this want within.” An urge filled us – a want, and as a member of the male species I can give testament to this drive within, where our small head rules the one on our neck. It is disgraceful that the act of intercourse became such a vital component of our existence, and this for me is the primary trait of the savage, where there is a drive within me that makes me primitive that I cannot control. We can talk and point fingers at the Beasts from the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, but pause and give a thought to what we are. I know what I am, and I know my life has never been my own. Within me, especially in my teen years when the hormones kicked-in in earnest, that within me was a drive that was beyond me and controlled me, and unfortunately came to define me and my Life and all within the illusion. The parasitic frequency of Deception is not good or bad – it merely is. It was created by the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits who wondered what else is in the illusionary Garden that is not already in the Infinite. This curiosity took on a form within the illusion, and the worm/parasite was born. On our spirit it extends from the left corner of our mouth to our jaw-line. It is there, and has always been there. One needs a level of intelligence to control an illusion that became a prison for all those trapped therein, meaning those that ran the show knew of the parasite. The Egyptians weaponized the parasite but never used it as they knew it would destroy all – including themselves. As the Garden began to fall, there were those that upheld their integrity rather than the ways of the worm within, and to keep these mammoths down and make sure they stay down, thick white worms were created and implanted to suck the Life-force from these beings. How often have these worms been sprinkled into the face to keep me down when I refuse to stay down. When the journal began I remember feeling in my sleep state how worms were squirted into me to suppress me. Consciousness can be equated with the fields of Infinite Love, and the parasite can be equated to the illusionary Garden that became a living nightmare. Ask me what has kept us here from going Home, and the answer is the worm. Put two and two together and you will understand that we are still blocked/limited/restricted within our prison. Monumental efforts were made to keep us here to feed Beasts, but as for all within the illusion, all are here to feed their disharmonious energy into the System/machine to keep the illusion alive. One wonders how many of these fools that saw this place as home now understand the trap that they created for all – including themselves. These is no pod to climb into and go to a better place, because we are all stuck in this place that will eventually self-destruct as there is only so far we can go from what naturally should be. I imprison you, but wait, that means that I am also in a prison – and this was the mentality of the cruel as they got off by releasing destruction on others, never knowing their proximity of where they are and what they allowed themselves to become. Do you ever stop and think what the ending would be down the road on the path you are on? Did you see what you created as ending well for you? Take for today. Destroy for today. There is no tomorrow, and this is so because of the short-sightedness of the fool. Live for today, and live for myself – at the expense of others. How will that end? – “Dunno. Never thought of that. Just thought of the high of fucking up others and this place where I stay?” Last night lay in bed and wracked my brain as to how they are still blocking us. There is only one logical conclusion: To limit/enslave those within the illusion, one has to limit/enslave Consciousness. Yes, they tricked Consciousness, where it became plugged into a simulation that it believed to be real, and yes, the parasitic frequency of Deception was placed within Consciousness, where it wants to make sure the spirit and body form are okay and Life is unfolding as it should. “…………..With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful place.” WRONG! Last night when I asked how else we were blocked, I felt this worm deep within my inner left cheek. The blockage has to come from a worm as this has been their fool-proof method to suppress those within the illusion. (The illusion would not exist had it not been for the parasite of Deception.) Understand that Consciousness has been in a lost state as it has not been Home. This opened Consciousness up to deception and trickery, and I have no doubt that this worm that I felt in my cheek was the worm within Consciousness to keep it suppressed. The worms I am speaking about are unknown to you and me – they are Life-sapping parasites that deprive us of our natural Life-force so that we may rise up and be what we naturally are. Take away this worm from Consciousness, and all they do is replace it with another. So what you do, is make Consciousness immune to the frequency of the parasites. Now these scavengers suck on thin air, as there is nothing to take from, as Consciousness does not allow them into its space. I see you, and I know you, and you are not me, so you are no part of my existence, meaning you have no effect on me. May me that is me, and you that is you rise up to be the Consciousness that we should naturally be. All this shit has to and will come to an end, and it will not be through our total annihilation, because we deserve to be happy and where we belong.
  11. Am not an aggressive man, as have no intention of lowering myself and making a fool of myself. Having said that, years ago promised myself the day my spirit left my body for good and entered the spirit realm, the first spirit I see will get a knuckle sandwich from me square in their face. Where were they when I needed them most? This act of aggression moved towards hostility, where the message would be loud and clear – leave me alone, as I need time to rest and recuperate. This evening there is a stir within me, where the waiting to see and be touched by beings of Love either happens now or never. This journal cannot carry on forever, just as the unjust existence within the illusion cannot carry on forever. Those in the illusion who have been touched by the understandings of this journal need to show me their cards. When I treat Humans I always ask for feedback in case I missed something, where there is always a rappor between me and those that entered my space. So too do those I have helped through the understandings of this journal need to touch me and give me feedback. Where is the spirit of my dog Max that passed on thirteen years ago? Where is Jessie? I know myself, and I know how far I can be pushed. When one is lost it is important to keep your finger on the pulse to know where we are and how far we can still go. I know my limits. Months ago I thought I saw a being of Love during my sleep state, but that spirit was one of the many who imagined they were sowing the seeds of Love to all, but they were unaware of their ignorance to who runs the show. I would like to see what this journal has done for those in the spirit realms, because this working in the dark is not going down well with me. I am tired of me, as I know what I am and where I belong. Up till now this journal has largely been a one man show, and this I am tired of. There is only so far I can walk before I say enough. 4th October, 2023 (Nine years, eight months, and one day of living and breathing this journal. It began in 2014. That is insane!)
  12. When I call Consciousness a dummy, or any other derogatory word, I understand that I am talking to myself about myself. My ego is fine, and I know there is a lot I don’t know that I should naturally understand. So I will tell you what I understand: What I understand is I need help, and from the more the merrier, because one can never get enough help in order to get to where you belong. This help has to be the right help, where others see the big picture and can thus lead us directly to where we belong, where with their understanding is a knowing. But here is the rub, as of now there is not one who knows everything, hence the help that is needed. We created the frequency of the spider to grab what we needed in order to survive. What we created was a phenomenal frequency, so here is the first question to this dummy Steven: Who says the spider was created for selfish reasons? Is there anything wrong about wanting to survive? – No, there is not, but it should never be at the expense of others, and it should never just be for me so fuck you and fuck off. Whatever we created was doomed to fail, and any doubt to that statement look out the window at the illusion and those that inhabit it. This Doom and Gloom arose from the parasitic frequency of Deception within – what we never knew was there – so what was ours soon became mine. That I needed it was never important, as long as it’s mine and not yours. And here is the second question to dummy Steven: If you need help so badly, why not utilize the frequency of the spider with the built-in clause that the frequency of the parasite may not enter our space? That way, what comes our way through the spider frequency is for all, and not just us. Told you I was a dummy! Build the frequency of the spider within to help Consciousness out of this maze of madness. Move to where you belong. Uplift yourself, and in the process, where the one cannot function without the other – uplift others. Another hidden clause in the spider frequency, is no grabbers are allowed into your space. As you are not one, so too are you drawn to others that are like you and not the grabber. And if there are none like you, braze a trail Homeward bound, so that when others decide to grow up, they know there is a path waiting for them to where they belong. And if anything, do it for the innocent, as I do. The spider frequency is within me now, and for that I am thankful – thankful that I have help. Always will I do my part – always will I be kind and consider others as best I can. This spider frequency within all we give respect to, just as respect comes our way. Should this frequency choose to go Home to where it belongs, where it no longer be’s, then so be it. There is no master and slave, there is only friends being there for each other, and for that I am eternally thankful.
  13. Is there a Dark force out there? The answer is there is only a Dark force, as in evil/cruel entities, where we have never touched and been touched by what this illusion ought to be. I am lost and insecure, but I am not cruel, the reason being I don’t like making a fool of myself, where I lower myself to pull others down from where they are. Why would I do such a thing? For me, the cruel are so because they are born that was, where the genes they inherited make them so, and secondly, they have no intention of bettering themselves for themselves and all Life around them, and that for me is the trait of the savage, where I am what I am, so take it or leave it, but from my side, I am comfortable in my own skin. The savage and the stupid are one and the same, where they like this place. The more we fall; the more insane this illusion becomes, the more they come unto their own, and this makes this place so the more unpleasant for those that wish well for all and themselves. There is nothing to change in these brutes because they are what they are and are comfortable with the mug staring back at them from the mirror. To these the illusion is home – their playground, and when you see people for what they are, do not underestimate how many savages there are, where kindness and you do not exist in their existence. And of course there are the kind, but what antidote do they have for the cruel? Forgiveness is not an option because the cruel have no remorse or regret, where they embrace rather than forgive themselves for what they are. The only option is to run when you see them, or better still, make sure they never enter your space by being aware they exist and understanding they do not exist in your space. To where do you run and become a recluse because the world is mad – where do you find your own? The one definitive answer is not in this illusion. When I closed my eyes to sleep last night I saw a spider. It was like someone had chopped it down to half its original height, meaning it was flatter that what it should be. This thing was weird, and touched me with its one leg to try and make sense of me. When I saw this spider, I said to myself I must write in the journal about Dark forces, but that does not mean this spider is bad – that can only be my initial perception, which can be completely wrong. So I don’t know what this spider is or what it represents, but I feel it is important to understand what I met. Go into the space of this spider, and what it is, is the Order from the Chaos of the illusion. With its eight legs it brings forth everything it needs to make sure it is okay, and this collection of what I need for me never ceases to exist. Always – what is there for me so I may take of it. The spider came into our lives when we were faced with the challenge of survival, where the spider became our answer to fitting into the illusion to survive. Here we never sleep, as always the spider within looks to what can be taken for me to make me more comfortable. There are those that don’t have the spider within, and you see them through the characteristic of them having nothing. A dirty homeless street child in India comes to mind, or one of the millions of hungry children in Africa, where Life has been cruel to them and they don’t have the spider within to grab opportunities that come their way because there are no opportunities. Then there are those that don’t have the spider, where what they have instead is integrity and self-respect, where it is not about what I can get from you, but rather I look to what I can do for you, and equally important, in what I can do for you, are you a grabber, or are you someone who gives thanks for what you receive, meaning is the spider within you, or is integrity and self-respect within you? What I give to you, either through a kind word or a gift, will this uplift you, where you will one day naturally do the same to others, or will you grab what I have given to hoard for yourself rather than uplift yourself? The spider became our tool to survive within the illusion, where we take from all around us to survive, but what we never knew, was to take was not the answer. Give to each other to uplift ourselves so that we may be in a better place than what we found ourselves in, which was the dense frequency of the illusion into which we fell. If there is spider within you, where this spider is not a possession but rather a frequency/tool of “I take for me because I look after me and don’t care about anyone else but me,” then lose this frequency because it is a disgrace to the Consciousness within that you are, as well as the Serpent soul within. The question posed was “Is there a Dark force out there?” The answer is there is a spider within so many that shadows/hides the goodness within them. For them to be free of the cruel illusion this spider has to be no more, where we once again go from me to we. With the spider in your midst you are going nowhere. Trust rather in Consciousness within to show the way. Surrender to this God-force within. As the illusion unfolds and shows its insanity to all, fewer and fewer opportunities come our way, where, where there was one, now there are many. The System throws you out if you are no use to it, meaning now you sit in the dust and heat knowing you have nothing, and nothing will change to make your Life more pleasant. Now you sit with the many that was originally only one. That is not cruelty – that is merely the illusion showing you what it is, and believe you me, the Devil has no friends, where all you are is just a another brick in the wall like all of us. Get out of the building because it is not a nice one and you do not belong there. Stand independent of the illusion with your Consciousness intact, because in truth this is all you have and are. It has taken a long time for this twat to know itself and come to the party. May Consciousness be our tool out of this mess, but first and foremost we need to get out the way, and this is done by losing the spider within.
  14. It must have been a good twenty years ago I read the book Stalking the Wild Pendulum: On the Mechanics of Consciousness by Itzhak Bentov. Here I am going to put myself out on a limb, because I am not a researcher as I don’t have the energy/strength to go through the fine detail of what has been said over the ages, but primarily, I apologize as I cannot remember the crux of Bentovs book. What I remember, and I apologize if I am wrong, is he talks about the release of the kundalini energy. What I remember about the book is him talking about the blackening of the right big toenail when this kundalini bursts forth. I know nothing about the release of the kundalini energy and have no desire to dwell into the subject. All I can comment on is what I have seen and experienced for myself. That there is a canal within the spirit that houses the Serpent soul is a given – it is there, no questions asked. We the spirit were created to protect and be the conscience/guide to the precious cargo of Queen Semiramis’ children the Serpent souls – the ones who were cloned from the Serpent spirits that fell into the illusionary Garden and became trapped therein. When a want was felt within those of the Garden, to appease this want, from one came two, where the Serpent soul was cloned from the Serpent spirit. The rationing behind this was that it is not just about me – that within me, and from me, is the All, so don’t hen-peck on nitty-gritties about what is important to me and what I want, because in the big picture there is no you, there is only the Infinite. To prove this, from you can come another, so now see yourself in another, where now you see in another you. What Semiramis never knew was the parasite that came to infiltrate all, including herself, so it was never about a shift in personality on the Serpent spirits part – no menopausal or that-time-of-the month scenario. What she faced was deep shit, where this want from the parasite within came to consume many, destroying rationality and common sense. This was the birth of insanity, where what you do and say does not make simple, basic, common sense. All there is, is a want within, and the downfall of the illusion was that this want can never be appeased because the cause of the problem – the parasite – was not removed from our space and that of the illusion. Is the release of the kundalini within us the enlightenment of the Serpent soul within the spirit, where the Serpent sees beyond the illusion and the want of the parasite within? – I don’t know, and it is not for me to give comment of such a huge and important topic, so I leave this debate to others that know more than me. What i can see, is if the release of the kundalini is the enlightenment of the Serpent soul within, this Serpent soul would have found its Home of the Serpent spirit from which it was cloned, and the awakening of the Serpent spirit from their slumber would have made them understand what happened at the very beginning, and with this understanding they would have returned to the Infinite. With her “children”/kin being where they were, this would have created a peace within Semiramis, and I would not be writing these words as the illusion would once again be a place of bliss as it was intended to be. The true enlightenment of the Serpent soul is not so much an understanding of what happened – for me it is something much simpler than that, and what that is, is setting your feet on Home soil. A few times a year over the years I would feel this heat under the nail of my right large toe, and this feeling was from something bigger than me making itself felt. As soon as the heat was felt it left, meaning the flame was erased before it could truly catch fire. I believe fully in the Serpent soul within coming unto itself, where a heightened awareness is felt and known by the Serpent soul, the spirit, and the dense body form, and I say this because it has happened to others out there, but for me, this is only one half of the story – the other half being the enlightened Serpent soul touching base with its Home, which is the Garden of Queen Semiramis as this Garden was intended to be. The Serpent souls were born from the Love of their Queen, and the foundation of this Queen is the Garden that she created, and this creation – this expression of her Love – is the Home of all that were born within the illusion in which we find ourselves. You the spirit wants to go Home, then go back to the source of what was initially created with Love and purity to be an expression of what you and Semiramis were, which was Consciousness within. With this Consciousness a beautiful illusionary Garden was created. What was never expected was the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits, where this curiosity of what else is there in this Garden that is not already in the Infinite – this curiosity state took on a Life-form within the illusion that we can liken to a parasite. I believe that the blackening of the big toe that Bentov mentions is not the awakening of the Serpent soul within with enlightenment/understanding. Sure, the Serpent soul is touched by something bigger than it, but this for me is not understanding. What it is, is the Serpent soul touching base with its original Home, and this blows the socks of all in the space of the Serpent soul. The awakening of the kundalini/Serpent soul to understanding is a completely different event to the kundalini touching base with its Home. For me, the former leads to wisdom and a knowing, and the latter leads to insanity where “what the hell just happened to me,” which is sad because the Serpent soul within is Home but does not know/understand this. So the trick is to combine the two, where the kundalini understands, and from there it touches base with the Garden that Semiramis initially imagined. We need both events to be free from the illusion, where we understand what we built in the spiritual realm was on the foundation of deceit and limitation, where now we wipe clean all that was created through our imagination and wisdom to reveal what has always been there that we never saw because Consciousness within was deceived to look where the Beasts told it to look, which was to the spirit and body form and what was best for them. This precious cargo within was ignored, where the “children” of Queen Semiramis wandered within a void that was Beautiful but did not make sense. Something was wrong but they could not put their finger on what it was, and what it was, was that their Home was hidden from them, and the spirits were made to look to a Game of survival instead of being the conscious/guide to them. Here we are talking about our spirits in their pure, original form, and not the watered down version that has been manufactured and modified over and over again. The Serpent souls understand the big picture, and now they touch base with Home by giving attention to what has always been there that has been deceitfully hidden from them. This for me will spell the true awakening of Consciousness, where all are where they should be within the illusion as it was intended to be. The stars will be aligned when Consciousness is golden, as in the Infinite is within Consciousness and Consciousness is in its true state, and from there Consciousness shines on the spirit, the dense body form, and the Serpent soul that are grounded within the original state of the Garden as it was meant to be. And all of this truly means nothing, because what about The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and the Dragon spirits she created? What about the children of Sophia? And that I find funny, because after all we know, we actually know nothing. Through everything I have seen, never have I seen these beautiful children of Sophia. Never has a true understanding been met as to their state of happiness and whereabouts. Maybe this scope of understanding is beyond you and me, which I believe it is. Release the Serpents and get them Home, and they will find their brothers and sisters the Dragons. This I believe to be true. Get the Serpents home where they belong with the understanding of what happened, and they in their might will release the Dragons from their prison cave. May this happen now, because for too long a wrong has been allowed to exist. Through the help of the Serpents, this wrong is made right, where the children of Sophia are also set free to return to where they belong. So be it.
  15. The spirit realm is the foundation of the illusion – this is the place where the Beasts needed to keep the deception alive so the spirit may fall for the lie of “this is the eternal All; the place from where we evolve to one day meet our maker.” The question you have to ask, is who created this place? I will give you a clue – this place is truly a place of Beauty. So the answer, is you the spirit and Consciousness created this place, meaning we are the one who built this false utopia through our imagination of what we believed should be. We limited ourselves to what we believed this heaven should be while the Beasts looked on from the shadows as we built our prison within the illusion. That is the bad/sad news. The good news is by understanding we created our own limitations, what we do now is drop this illusionary frequency so that it is broken down, and voila, when the mist is gone, the illusionary Garden as it should be shows itself. What we see now our imagination did not create – Queen Semiramis did. We the spirit and Consciousness built the false utopia some call Heaven of the illusionary Hell, where there is no ways Beasts could imagine such beauty. It was our masterpiece, and unfortunately our prison that hid the natural Garden of Semiramis. The spirit, as we speak, is becoming omnipotent and playing with the new found shift within our Consciousness. What it sees in front of it is a false utopia – this is not a place to play it; it is a prison that Consciousness in its limited and deceived state created. Stay here, and you stay in prison, so drop this mist to reveal the true Garden of Semiramis. And believe you me, this place is Wow
  16. In the air in front of you is billions of particles. You cannot see them, but they are they. And somewhere between this mist is the Infinite. All that is needed is for Consciousness to shift from the illusion to the Infinite that is real, and when this shift happens it is Home. Those less dense than us will feel this shift first, and here I am referring to the animals, who are more in tune with the frequencies around them. This morning got a message from a lady whose dog was competing overseas and suddenly began walking on three legs as something had happened to it. Went into the animals space and found a rupture of her energy at the pelvic area going into the left hind leg. This dog was bleeding energy, which was resolved, but one wonders what happened. Then later got a message from another old client whose dog seemed off to her. A similar pattern was found over the left hind leg, but she was not so bad. Just about every animal that came to me for help over the years has actually come to help me, where they bring an understanding to pick us up on the path Homeward bound. So what were these two dogs telling me? They were letting me know that the shift of Consciousness to its Home-bound state has been felt, and the effect of this has made something within them falter/pop. That is what caused Emily to bleed energy, where the shift in pressure was too great for her, and in Ruby this ripple dropped her tail where it could not rise and hang as it should. We are next, where we will feel this slight stir as Consciousness moves from an illusionary state to a real one, and when Consciousness settles in to know Home and itself, where now it belongs, that wave I surmise we will feel the most, where, as with the two dogs mentioned above, this ripple will throw us off centre to make way for the new, and when this stabilizes, Life as we knew it will never be the same again. According to the Animals, the shift has begun, and it’s about time.
  17. When my spirit sees yours, and you have an understanding that I never knew, you uplift me. The truth is the truth, where it is what it is, for all to see. That is why so many walk away from the truth, because to know the truth is to know themselves, and they are not ready to acknowledge themselves as within them is no truth. We the spirit uplift each other, and this is filtered down to the body form, but who uplifts Consciousness? Consciousness became trapped within an illusion, and this state became the golden goose for those that wished the illusion to become their own. We are talking about the purity and innocence of a state whose Home is the fields of Infinite Love. Tell it to look there, and it does so no questions asked. The manipulation and deceit by disgustingly cruel wasted spaces on Consciousness highlights what presence inhabits and runs this warped place we call the illusion. To say they are filth is to be unfair on yourself, because such beings do not deserve our time and focus of attention of dwelling upon them. Let us rather focus on the question “who uplifts Consciousness?” because believe you me, the deceit inflicted upon this child of the Infinite is something you and I cannot grasp in our entirety, and is beyond our scope of making a wrong right. There are too many layers of deceit for us to wash away. So what Consciousness does, is it goes to one whom uplifts it and removes all the deceit and confusion from its space. It goes Home. Deep within what we would call our chest area lies the All – the Infinite. Consciousness returns Home to this place so that it may be. As long as it is in the illusion, Consciousness, as well as we the spirit and body form, are going nowhere. As Consciousness returns to what it is, the disgusting rot that is within you and me that arose from our proximity to the sheer, undiluted evil of the illusion falls away. There is no other way to restore harmony to our forms and to Consciousness unless Consciousness returns to where it belongs, and this happens now. This dummy stays there, and from the fields of Infinite Love it shines to us the spirit and body form trapped within the illusion. This illumination of what is uplifts the Beauty that has always been around us that became lost within the dense frequency to where we fell, meaning the Garden as Semiramis intended it to be once again becomes our playing ground. How can Consciousness depart the space of us the spirit and body form? Within you is the Infinite. The Infinite is everywhere, and somewhere within the Infinite was a tiny bubble which one could liken to a droplet of water. In this droplet the illusion was imagined into reality by Queen Semiramis, and Consciousness became trapped in this bubble through deception, meaning Consciousness forgot what it was and where it belongs. By stepping out the bubble it may know itself, as now Consciousness is Home. In this known state it illuminates the states of Consciousness still within the droplet of water, where now they are in the illusion but not of the illusion. You can move from here to there because you are everywhere – it is as simple as that. Understand that we within the illusion fell so low that the Infinite could not touch us and make itself known. All it could do was show us what we are, hence the golden eye – this beacon of hope for all to see if we only looked to what is real rather than the illusion. We had to clear up our mess from within, and that involved giving Consciousness a wake-up-shake-up, but even there, it was too far gone from the eons of deception and lies. So this fucker needed a push, as in get out of here to where you belong so that you may be in a position to help yourself, and from there you may shine on your own and all within the illusion. All we needed was to know where to push Consciousness to, and that was deep within our heart energy field. The Sun became golden, just as the golden eye was, and the Sun began to give off rays, where it became illuminated, but what it missed was being Home to know the state of what it is. Tell a fish to know itself as it flops around on dry land, and you may understand for us to be, we have to be Home. From this Home we shine within the illusion and return all those states of Consciousness within the illusion to Home. So Consciousness never departs the space of us the spirit and body form – it merely shifts to a state that it knows and is its own, where in this Home it may be.
  18. Over the years I would often say to my wife that nobody out there has seen what I have seen through my Third Eye. Her response was how do I know what others out there have seen or haven’t seen. My answer was always the same – if others know what I know, I would have found them years ago, and that would have saved me from walking the path they already have. First I saw what we were – we are a food source to entities in a different dimension that is close to ours. I saw at night time as I lay in bed with my eyes closed how other beings entered our space and took of our energy. These beings would take our energy with them to their world, and in those early days of seeing what I saw, none would stay around me and feast of my energy. It would be like you going to a restaurant, picking up a takeaways parcel, and going to eat at home. The revelation soon hit those in this dimension that there is some nosy punk in their space that is not allowed to see and understand what is happening to us in our dimension, and that is when the attacks began on my spirit. At that point I understood we were in deep shit, and I said to myself, if only I could find a way out of our dimension and go and get us some help, then we will be okay. Somehow, I found a way out of our reality, and I went to other worlds/realities looking for assistance to our plight of being a food source to the cruel. Some of these worlds were better than ours, some were similar, others worse, and one world there was nothing left as the parasitic frequency of Deception had taken all. Empathy was expressed by those I met, but nobody had an answer to our plight, and one wonders how many worlds were like ours, where from the shadows Beasts feed from them. When these Beasts started to attack, that is when I understood my only line of defense was to understand them. My understanding them would raise me to a frequency where they could not touch me, but never did I know that it was never about me the spirit or body form, but rather about Consciousness who was deceitfully plugged into simulation that it was made to believe was real. These attacks never stopped, but what was seen primarily was Snakes that were the lost Serpent souls. These Snakes were at the top of the hierarchy in terms of understanding the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, what came to be known as the shadows – this place that we are not allowed to know about as we believe Life is unfolding as it should, but the reality is that we were controlled by the cruel, and worse than that, we were going nowhere except to the demise of those around us. All the cruelty in our dimension, as well as in the illusion, can be pointed to these Snakes in the illusion as they understand the Game, and couldn’t really care less what happens to us or them. So when you see or hear about an unjust or cruel act, or just wonder why Life is so shit, look to these Snakes that came to fuck me up because I was in their neighbourhood and they didn’t like an outsider seeing and knowing of them. But let’s be realistic – they could have taken me out any time they wanted. Our lost and insecure status makes us weak to all and sundry in all worlds, let alone those that rule over us, so what I done a long time ago was approach Queen Semiramis and asked her permission to understand what is the cause of the problem that the illusion is such a mess. I say this meeting was held because a few years back in my sleep state I remember my spirit meeting up with her to give feedback on what I found. When my spirit entered a cosmic laboratory to see and understand how Life forms are made, I heard those that worked there say I have full access to their compound. At the time I never understood why, but later the agreement with Semiramis was remembered. She said I can do what I want to uncover what was going on, but I would be left to my own devices, with no help or protection from her part. As so it was that these upper echelon Snakes that could have taken me out at any time left me alone, but the low-life scum that inhabit the Reptilian frequency could not resist taking out this one that does not belong among them. So from seeing how our energy was harvested, now the shift moved to surviving the night, and let’s just say that what I went through was bloody fucking awful, but always the push was to understand – what happened that those within the illusion fell so low, where destruction is the norm and Love is absent? If I have to look back, I can be proud of myself for what has been understood. The attacks from those from the shadows were inevitable, but the biggest danger was becoming the Beast, where I became lost to what they are. To understand them, you have to become them, and this is only possible when you know what you are, and most importantly, what you are not. I am not the Beast, but to understand them, I had to become, and the danger was becoming caught in what you became, and here I thank the Animals for always being there for me, because in them I saw the Love that I am. How is it then possible that only I saw these from the shadows that come into our space to not only take our energy, but primarily to sow destruction and cruelty throughout our existence? You also have a Third Eye, and anyone out there can see what I have seen. You don’t see what I see because all your new-found sight would have done was push you over the cliff to insanity. We are not just a food source, we are also a sex object by the cruel from the shadows. Your spirit being raped by Beasts as your body sleeps must happen at least once a week. I have had the cock of spirits pushed into every orifice in my body. I have been made to watch while Beasts rape my wife’s spirit as they do the same to me. So why would you want to see such things? Why would you want to see the Snakes that come and possess you, where you feel them curled up in your space? Why see the cosmic assassins with their weapons of choice as they hit your spirit, and this blow filters down to your body that results in its demise? Why see the deception in the spirit realm, where you spirit becomes trapped and imprisoned by the cruel so that your spirit may remain their prisoner? Why see all of this when there is nothing you can do about it, because what we know deep down is that we are a slave species to the cruel. So you never looked through your Third Eye as I did, because what you have seen is too unreal to fathom, so a long time ago you decided to no longer look at what the cruel do to you. And rightly so, but understand that deep down we knew and have always known, and this for me is the foundation of our helplessness and fucked up status. Your question to me, is what has this seeing that others have not, meaning seeing those that rule us from the shadows – what has this awful rite of passing though the dwelling of Beasts done for me? What I can say to you is that only my immunity to their poisonous frequency kept me alive to write these words. What I can also say, is in seeing the cruelty of those from the shadows, I can compare our dimension to theirs, and we are far worse than them. The cruelty that this Steven witnesses as I go about my days here on Earth, as in the sheer, raw stupidity, is far worse than those from the Beasts that rule us from the shadows. They know what they are – we don’t. They know they are cruel – we fool ourselves into believing we are kind. They know they are savages – we value our intellect by what we have accumulated around us in possessions. They attack and destroy and they embrace their status of being cruel – we attack and always justify how right we are and how wrong our victim is. We should know better because we have a conscience, but we never choose to exercise it and do what is best for all and not just ourselves. For us to change, we need to acknowledge what we have become. Sure, I am not a bad person and spirit, and I am sure neither are you, but we need to wake up and see what is around us – in the seen and unseen, and from there we need to move to where we belong. And it is here that I understand why we never chose to look or stand up against Beasts – because we were alone. To wait for help to come is to hope, and to hope is a dangerous thing. We need to stand together and be there for each other, and this I have never done because there has never been someone to stand with. It is best to be alone than in unfavourable company, but there has to come a time when we know ourselves and start being what we are. Open your eyes and see what has always been, and then walk away. To walk away one has to see what you are walking away from, so look, and then move to where you belong. But there is still one thing that I cannot understand, and that is this Steven sitting on this couch typing these words. Surely, in seeing what others have not, surely this must have changed him in some way – for the good or the worse? And this is what I do not understand, where what I am now is what I have always been. This can be easily explained by me seeing what is in plain sight for all to see, so what I saw was no big deal – I just chose to look where others did not. To be omnipotent and the All is also natural – there is no big deal in having the God-status/Consciousness within us as this is what we are and what is real. But nothing, as in nothing, has changed within my existence, and this blows me away. Is there something I am still missing? The logical answer is yes, and what I would say it is, is me the spirit and body form not seeing and knowing the Consciousness within me for what it is. There can be an elephant in my sitting room, but if I cannot see it, I will walk right through it because in my reality it is not there. Why we cannot see and know our Consciousness is because we have been manufactured not to do so, and this program/limitation is deleted from our space now by the Consciousness that we are so that the trio may become one. Over the last almost nine years and eight months I wrote down in the journal the attacks as they happened to me from the shadows, but the one that stands out the most, as there they came the closest to destroying me, was the time they took my spirit to the one I called The Joker. In the worlds of the shadows there is a world that is independent of all of them, where the one that rules there sees and knows himself well. They took my spirit there to be shown a lesson, and this Man climbed into me and gave me all he had. My dog Fiona was there with me, as she understood I needed help, and being the friend that she is, walked into this world to be with me. As I was being destroyed, what kept me alive was me looking at her spirit and saying “I Love you, I am this Love. You Love me, I am this Love.” That mantra that was said over and over kept my spirit from being lost and destroyed forever. The physical form of my dog Fiona is on her last legs. She must be totally blind now because she has to smell where I am, as well as her not being able to walk long distances. I feel she is hanging around for me because I am still as unhappy as when this journal had started. As said, nothing has changed within my existence, where I expect – if not demand – that everything change for the better, as this is natural to be happy. The days are rolling to weeks and the year is almost on its head, and every day I say that this day cannot be like the previous one, where the natural Beauty and joy of the illusion as it should be has to touch us and transform us to what we have never known and yet has always been there. That day has to come before Fiona is put down, where she knows the path she and I walked has come to an end, and what is left is what should naturally be. I can fool you, but I cannot fool myself, because I only want the best for me, as I do for all. What has made this illusion so remarkably sick is the fool came to rule over us. The absolute rubbish was elevated to power by those from the unseen, and here the Emperor With No Clothes ruled over us, where in their vanity and low-life scum status they exalted in their glory. This inverted layer of those who had no depth of character and integrity – these became the rulers over the illusion and its worlds, and there is truly no words to describe these entities in our seen worlds. Their untouchable status drifted them further away from reality and making a difference in your life and mine, and when a ripple is felt within the illusion – even the tiniest of a tremor – it is these who will fall first, and they will know the fool that they are with no clothes/integrity. After all that has been seen and understood, nothing has changed within my existence, and that for me is unacceptable. Sure, a lot needed to be broken down, but if what you implement changes nothing in you as an individual, then surely what you done meant nothing? This I cannot believe to be true, and yet there it is – the same old Steven, still poor and lost and lonely with only dreams of what should be. And yet there is the thing – I know what I am, or more importantly, I know what I am not, so I know what I should be. What I am in this day, and what I have always been, is what I am not. So this journal began, but it started lifetimes ago. Do we need lifetimes for the Emperor With No Clothes to fall to where he belongs and what should naturally rise do so? I don't think so, because I don’t have lifetimes. I don’t even have this day, because I am tired of this day being like every other day of survival. May we meet our Maker – this Consciousness around which all Life was created by the cosmic geneticists. May we meet our God/Consciousness and walk with them. May we never again be alone, or even worse – thrown into a space and made to co-exist with wanderers and Emperors Without Clothes as their cruel masters looked on. It has been an awful ride for countless the worlds over, and it stops when we feel the presence and know of the God within. What it will take to achieve this status I don’t know, but if something is still missing, I will find it, but in my heart I feel all that is left is for us to merely be, where we shine in the glory of Consciousness knowing and being itself. 27/09/2023
  19. If you ask me what happened, as in when did things go horribly wrong, I would say we pulled the plug on ourselves a long time ago. There are so many that hold onto their integrity, where they will never cross the line and throw away their morals, and to these the Beasts push really hard to try and break them because any sign of kindness and what should be reminds the Beast of what they once were, and this is not allowed as they do not want a reminder of what they allowed themselves to become. Then there are the others – the wanderers who became lost unto themselves. As they became lost to the illusion and its ways, they became lost unto themselves, and what is meant by this, is there was no self-preservation within them. I destroy you because I have already destroyed myself by letting go and not holding onto my self-preservation. That is when things began to fall apart; that is when Life became a free for all, where I do what I do and don’t care what happens to me. There is no fear of my death or my shame or my destruction because I no longer care about myself. How we allowed ourselves to let ourselves go in such a bad way can only be surmised that we got so lost within the illusion that we forgot ourselves, as in what is important to me. Happiness and joy and peace should be important to me because I have to live with me. Surely our happiness is the one thing we would hold onto until the very end, because as bad as Life is, we deserve our happiness. But when we pull the plug on ourselves, our happiness is washed away, so what I do to you means nothing to me because there is no me – all I am is a lost being just going through the motions from one day to the next. Within me is nothing but a lost state, where now the illusion and what it reflected upon me is me. To these lost souls I give Love, and it is so sad they pulled down those around them and swept them down the drain that they are into the void of despair, where the victims of these lost souls are irrevocably changed and shattered. To these victims I give Love. May the God-force within shine and take them to where they belong, where they know and understand and see the Beauty that is out there. There has been too much sadness, and this stops now.
  20. It’s like you walking into a clothing store, seeing something you like, trying it on, and then looking in the mirror to see how what you like looks on you. That is how I heal, and that is how we uplift each other, where I look at your spirit, and in seeing what I like in you, that I take upon myself and make it my own. There are no masters; no gurus; no Swami’s, because when we reach the peak of the mountain we are all the same, and how we get to the top is by doing our bit to blossom and unfold into what we are. You know something I don’t know, and when I see this and make it my own, what you are and know uplifts me. Last night as I closed my eyes to sleep I saw this disc that looked like a form of a kite that suddenly appeared in my space. But before I saw it, I felt the presence of Consciousness at my throat area. Fell into a deep sleep, and this morning as I lay awake in bed I pressed against my closed eyelids to see into the unseen. After a few seconds saw the golden eye, where it was not so sharp and distinct as I have always know it to be. As I looked at this golden eye, I felt the presence of the Parasitic frequency of Deception extending from the corner of the left side of my mouth going down to my jaw line. I felt it wriggle and move as I focused on the golden eye in front of me, where in the presence of what is there cannot be parasites. You the spirit and body form can do all you can to become a being of Love and peace and harmony, but unless Consciousness is what it should be, we are going nowhere. What is left to say, as each time I write in this journal I hope and pray that it is my last, but what is left to say that is really important, is Consciousness looks in the mirror and sees what it is, and from there Consciousness within you embraces what it sees and becomes what it is. To you Consciousness, look at the golden eye in front of you. The Infinite has never abandoned you and left you alone. Always it has been there for us, we just needed to look what was staring at us in the face – literally. Look at this glowing golden eye in front of you, because that is you. When you look and no longer see it, then what you looked at has become you, meaning it is no longer in front of you as it is you in its entirety. From there understand what you are – know yourself, and then merely be. Consciousness, if you are okay, then we are okay. Please look after yourself, and from there we the spirit and body form will bathe in your glory. You cannot help anybody unless you help yourself first, and when you are okay, Life as we knew it will begin to unfold as it should. All the talking and understanding has to come to an end sooner or later, and all that is left is to be, so be what you are, where you become a real boy and are no longer a fake/wooden one who looked into a simulation that was not real, as well as cared for a spirit and body form that were not real. My advice is go Home whenever you can to heal, as there is nothing like being where you belong to heal and restore you to what you are. We found ourselves trapped in a strange place that was not real – all it was, was cruel. By you being what you are, this mist disappears as you the Sun returns to what you are.
  21. It is the death of the spirit and dense body form from what they were to what they should be. What should they be? – They should be compatible to the ways of Consciousness and not the illusion, meaning the frequency/waveform/imprint we give off has to change. That is the meaning of George killing Lennie, where Consciousness begins to transform us the spirit and body form. The beautiful illusionary garden of Queen Semiramis was created for the Dragon and Serpent spirits to dip into and play, and from there return to the Infinite. What is the frequency pattern of the Garden as it was initially intended to be? That answer is simple, where for one, the Garden was meant to be free of parasites. Like the pigs, we eat just about anything, and like the pigs, we in the seen, as well as those in the Reptilian frequency, are full of parasites – both microscopic ones and tangible ones. From the seen we pass on these worms to our spirit. In our “death,” the worms are being removed from our presence, and believe you me, we are filled with them. I don’t eat everything, but our proximity to where we were makes these parasites even airborne, meaning they are everywhere. I say this because as I napped off on the couch earlier on I felt these unseen and unwelcome guests deep within my face as they departed my space. They have always been there in all within the illusion. The frequency of the spirit and body form is dying as we remove ourselves from the frequency that was, and what is being reborn in its place is the presence of Consciousness. This makes sense, because as said, within the illusion as it should be, there is no parasite, and as we speak, the parasites are being removed from our space, which tells us Consciousness knows of the illusion as Semiramis intended it to be and is returning us to a state/frequency that is compatible with this original illusionary Garden. What else was in the initial illusionary Garden? For one, there was no Reptilian frequency as we know it. Inside this Garden Dragons and Serpents played, but their state is unlike any we have known, and within this core state is what is within you and me, which is Consciousness. If the golden eye is the original template of what Consciousness is within the Infinite, what does gold represent to us? It is wealth; it is a beautiful thing to look at; it is precious, and most importantly, it represents abundance, because when you have got it, you are not short of anything. So as the parasites leave our form, so too will Consciousness return to what it was, and this will herald a state of abundance within us, but not the abundance we know. In play, which the original Garden was meant to be, there was abundance of joy and happiness, which is an expression of contentment. We never built a house in this place because we already had one in the Infinite. In the Garden we merely expressed what we were, which is joyous beings, as within us is the All/Consciousness. I am so thankful Consciousness is unfolding as it should. May Life as we knew it be no more. 23/09/23
  22. My one pair of Crocs causes my heels to crack, so obviously I shouldn’t wear them but I do as there are not rows of shoes in my cupboard to choose from. The last few days I wore those Crocs more often than not, so now when I walk it feels and looks like I am walking on shards of glass. Last night as I slept my spirit felt the pain in my heels. What I was also shown was the importance of exercise to keep fit. The point I am making is there was a direct correlation between the spirit and body form, where the two are now in sync. So it was the pain in my heel, the exercise reminder, and the third thing was John Steinbecks book Of Mice and Men. Over and over I was given the title of this book that I have heard of but not read. Below is a synopsis of the book that I found on the internet: Of Mice and Men opens with the two main characters, George Milton and Lennie Small, walking toward Soledad, California. Steinbeck describes George as: "small and quick, dark of face, with restless eyes and sharp, strong features'' (2). In contrast, Lennie is depicted as George's opposite: "a huge man, shapeless of face, with large, pale eyes, [and] wide sloping shoulders" (2). Steinbeck demonstrates that both men need each other for emotional support. George, though often annoyed with Lennie's childlike and troublesome behavior, recognizes that Lennie keeps him from the aching loneliness of a ranch hand's solitary life. He also recalls his promise to "Aunt Clara" to care for Lennie, who is incapable of caring for himself. When setting up camp for the night at the Salinas riverbed, George discovers Lennie clutching a dead mouse. In a moment of foreshadowing, Steinbeck shows that Lennie has a habit of stroking soft things and killing them by accident with the force of his grip. George tells Lennie to dispose of the mouse or he is not going to let him tend rabbits on the farm they plan to own one day. George begins to tell Lennie about an idyllic piece of land where they will "[...] have a little house and a couple of acres an' a cow and some pigs and—," as Lennie exuberantly interjects, "an' live off the fatta the lan' [...] An' have rabbits'" (13). The routine reveals that this vision has been a motivating factor in the men's lives for quite some time. During the first chapter, Steinbeck also reveals that Lennie and George were forced to leave their previous job in Weed, California because Lennie tried to feel the soft fabric of a girl’s dress, and his actions were misinterpreted as inappropriate. As a result of this experience, George decides that when they meet their new boss, Lennie should stay quiet and let George do all of the talking. Their boss becomes suspicious, but he decides to let them stay because he recognizes that Lennie's size and strength will increase productivity on the ranch. Lennie and George settle into the bunk house that all of the ranch hands share, and they meet Candy, an older man who is missing his hand. Shortly after this, they encounter Curley, the boss's son, who immediately begins antagonizing Lennie. When George asks Candy why Curley has a chip on his shoulder, Candy says that "He is alla time picking scraps with big guys. Kind of like he's mad at 'em because he ain't a big guy" (24). This insight into Curley’s personality explains his aggressive behavior throughout the novel. It also sets him up as a contrast to Lennie, who is a “big guy” (24) but has a mild nature. After their foreboding meeting with Curley, Lennie and George encounter Curley's wife, who has what the workers describe as "the eye" (26). Many of these men call her a “tart.” She and Curley have only been married for a few weeks, yet she frequently stops in to talk with the workers, especially Slim, the jerkline skinner. George senses that Curley and his wife are trouble and warns Lennie to keep his distance from both of them. That evening, Carlson, another ranch hand, complains about Candy’s elderly dog. He tells Candy to put the smelly, toothless dog out of its misery. While Candy initially refuses, a word from the wise and benign Slim changes his mind. Slim tells Candy: "Carl's right […] [t]hat dog ain't no good to himself. I wisht somebody'd shoot me if I got old an' a cripple" (43). Candy hesitantly agrees, even though, ironically, Candy himself is old and disabled. He cannot bring himself to shoot his pet, so Carlson offers to do it for him. This moment highlights society’s harsh views about individuals who are no longer able to work. The dog’s death also serves as another instance of foreshadowing. After Carlson kills the dog, Candy overhears George and Lennie's conversation about the little piece of land they hope to own. Candy offers to contribute all of his money if they will let him join them and work in the garden on their land. Later that night, Curley comes into the bunk house and misinterprets Lennie's smile about the dream home as a personal affront. He attacks Lennie, who only fights back when George tells him to. Out of fear, Lennie grabs and crushes Curley’s hand. The men warn Curley that unless he wants to be embarrassed by the situation, he should tell people he caught his hand in a machine. Lennie is afraid that he has done something wrong, but George assures him everything is okay, and he will still be allowed to tend the rabbits on their farm. Lennie is reassured, and he goes to see the puppy that Slim had offered him earlier. The following night all of the workers leave for a brothel they call "old Susy's" (49), and Lennie is left behind. Lennie visits his puppy in the barn. This barn is also occupied by Crooks, the disabled African-American stable hand who has worked on the ranch for years. Feeling as though his territory is being invaded, Crooks uses the opportunity to torment Lennie, suggesting that George might not come back. Lennie is immensely upset by this idea. Crooks calms Lennie down and tries to explain his own intense loneliness: "S'pose you didn't have nobody. S'pose you couldn't go into the bunk house and play rummy 'cause you was black. How'd you like that?" (69). Crooks’ speech underlines the extreme discrimination that he faces, and it also shows that he is isolated from the other men at the ranch. Lennie does not understand the significance of these comments, and he talks about his and George's plan to live together on their own small homestead. For a short span of time, Crooks imagines that he too might live on this piece of land and escape his life of inequality. But his new dream is quickly shattered after an altercation with Curley's wife, who degrades him for both his disability and his race. Crooks realizes that he could never live with the rest of the ranch hands and have the kind of life he desires. The next afternoon, Lennie sits by himself in the barn. Next to him lies his puppy, now dead from Lennie's forceful grip. Fearing that George will not allow him to tend the rabbits on their farm, Lennie chastises himself and tries to decide what he should do. Then Curley's wife enters the barn. She tells Lennie about her regrets, most specifically that she married Curley rather than going into "movies" and "pitchers" (84). She reveals the details of her unhappy marriage, and she explains her desire for conversation to ease her loneliness. Noticing that Lennie is more focused on rabbits than her, she asks why he is so interested in them. He tells her that he likes to pet soft things, and she lets him feel her soft hair. When he starts to accidentally hurt her, Curley's wife screams. Overcome with fear, Lennie shakes her too hard and breaks her neck. Realizing he has done something terribly wrong, Lennie returns to the riverbed where George had warned him to go if he found himself in any trouble. When George discovers what Lennie has done, he is forced to tell the other men. Candy, sensing that this incident changes their plans, seeks reassurance from George that the two of them can still work together to get a place. George, however, responds in the negative and confirms he never quite believed in the reality of the dream in the first place. Curley is furious and wants to kill Lennie himself. Knowing that Curley will kill Lennie in an inhumane manner, George is forced to make a decision out of the deep concern he has for his friend. Taking the same pistol that killed Candy's dog, George goes down to the riverbed to find Lennie. Lennie is relieved to see George and asks him to talk about the home they are going to own. George obliges, but tells Lennie to look out across the water. While Lennie is looking across the river bank and listening to George's story, George shoots him in the back of the head. When the men reach George and Lennie, they assume George wrested the pistol from Lennie in order to kill him. The only person to show remorse and empathy is Slim, who tells George, "You hadda George. I swear you hadda" (102). Slim knew that George killed Lennie because he cared enough about him to not condemn him to Curley's cruelty or allow society to "[…] lock him up an' strap him down and put him in a cage" (92). Slim and George exit the scene to get a drink, leaving the rest of the men to watch them in bewilderment. Wow, what does one make of that story? Why the importance of that book during this time of our existence? I assume George and Lennie represent the spirit and dense body form, both who have their dreams of a better life on the horizon. What I found interesting in the synopsis was the underlying them of loneliness, where each character in the book feels isolated from the other on the farm. Why George kills Lennie can only be described as friendship where one knows what is best for the other, where there is no other alternative but to avoid a life of further cruelty and humiliation. So why were we so adamantly told to look at Steinbecks book? What is Consciousness telling us the spirit and body form? Will one of us die off, as where we are is a pointless exercise as our dream of a better life on the horizon is only a dream that can never turn to reality, as where we are is beyond salvation? I would say it is not a physical death of us the dense body form – it is a death of what we knew and were, where what we were can no longer be. Your dream and mine has to die as Consciousness and the spirit come to the fore and take us over. Everything you believe and are is no more. To walk into the new, one has to walk out from the old, as this is our death, where we no longer are what we were. How this represents itself in our existence is anybody’s guess, except for our spirit and Consciousness who know what lies ahead. From my side, its game-on. Am willing to go where they will take me, even if it means the death of me.
  23. Is money the frequency of power and control within the illusion? Zoom in and see what your million pounds can get you, and then zoom out to understand what little money you have will not impact the illusion and make it a better place for all. So seeking money to provide for a never-ending want is a constant struggle, where the carrot is always hanging at the end of the stick, where what you have will never be enough, because who knows, what you have today might be gone tomorrow, or worthless. With that in might, let’s approach the subject of money from the viewpoint of what you really are, which is Consciousness. Consciousness is everything, where you want or need nothing. So from where Consciousness stands, you the spirit and body have and are everything, and thus the frequency of money is not a priority to Consciousness. And this is my person belief, that as long as we keep our side clean, Consciousness within will look after us. Now let’s say, I have to paint my corrugated iron roof with a heat-repellant paint. The roof during the day becomes an outdoor oven, and this inversion layer of heat settles over the roof and lingers into the night, which sucks the moisture of all in proximity to the roof, be it plants, animals or humans, and what this means, is the natural ecosystem of what should be is no longer there. The problem is fixed with a heat-repellant paint, but that costs money which you don’t have. So what does Consciousness do to fix the problem? What Consciousness does, is finds a way to bring forth the money so that paint may be bought, and here you go into the stillness of the silence to ask how this may be achieved. The trick – the golden rule – is that you are asking for paint, as paint is needed to restore the everything to be what it was. There is no you and me in the equation, because we are already everything with Consciousness awakened within. So don’t ask for money, ask for paint, and Consciousness will bring forth the money, but not for you, for the paint so that harmony may be restored where there currently is none. Get out the way, because there is no you and me – there is the captain of the ship which is Consciousness. Now Consciousness looks to the everything of a situation or circumstance, and brings forth what should be there that is not. And what is vital to understand is to go with the flow of where you belong, so let go and remove yourself from the equation. Ask what is needed to restore the everything to a situation, and then go into the stillness of the silence to bring Consciousness into the equation to bring forth the answer. Remember, you the body and spirit do not feature in the equation as Consciousness is already within you. If there is an unhappiness within you, as I am sure is in the vast majority out there, then allow Consciousness to pick you up and carry you, but your want for money isolates you from the everything, because ultimately money will not bring about peace and happiness – being what you are will, as well as where you belong – in the seen and unseen. See the big picture – how is the everything restored to what it should be? And this is where to each their own, as many are focused on the me, with no consideration for Life. You cannot impose your will on them, so move to where you belong, and if you cannot move, bring Consciousness into the equation to restore balance and harmony where there is none. Remember, you are not in the equation, as Consciousness is within you so you are okay. If there is a war waging outside, or a famine that is wreaking havoc, Consciousness brings forth what is needed to restore the everything to the situation, and you keep your side clean so that when the balance is there, you don’t abuse it. What about moving to the illusionary Garden of Semiramis, where it is what it was intended to be? We have been floored for a long time, so get up and walk where you feel comfortable with yourself and where you are, and from this foundation we may begin to see and touch the stars. Do not underestimate what the destructive force within so many has done to our psyche and way of life. I speak for myself when I say I am in a bad way, but I am also in a good way, as I know Life is unfolding as it should. We are no longer alone. I feel that the jar needs to be broken so that it may be reset as it should be. When Consciousness restores the everything to what should be, there will be a shift in what was, and this we will feel in the seen. How far you are from off-centre will determine the impact of this shift on your existence. Nobody is perfect, but I feel this shift will either uplift us or sink us further. Want to play dirty, then go down to your department to meet your own, where now like attracts like. What will change in your existence is now you see yourself in those around you, where you play with your own and not the innocent. Any guesses how long that game will last and how it will end up? The reality you created at the expense of others, where cruelty you embraced and made your own, this reality is now yours, where you see what you have done to others and ultimately yourself. To these, may you find the God-force within and return to what you naturally are. To those that seek joy and happiness for themselves and all, expect – actually insist – on your Life to be shaken and stirred, where you return to an existence where everything may be met and felt within you. This is Consciousness shining as it should, and these rays are touching you the body form and spirit. What I do know, is Life cannot continue as it always has. Something had to snap. Either we fall to our final demise where we forget the Consciousness/Love that we are, where we become permanently plugged into a machine, or we rise up to where we naturally belong and we are what we are. The other night as I slept I saw how my Consciousness drifted away from the machine it was plugged into. What this machine is, is a life-form like you and me. It is a living entity, and through my limited vision I saw a being that was Human looking with arms and legs and a brain. The machine is merely a bigger version of what you and I are. We suckled from its teats as we fed it our attention that we had within. Our story; our Life, became its, but we were not parasites – the machine was the tick that sucked the Life force from us, where Consciousness saw it as the all that is and ever will be. Wrong! May Life unfold as it should, where the everything is restored, where we know our place as well as happiness in this dense frequency before we depart to the illusionary Garden as it was. We all deserve our time in the Sun, where Consciousness sees us the spirit and body form, and what it sees brings it joy.
  24. When I fall asleep at night time that is when I go to school, where what is unseen and touches us is revealed. In the seen world this Steven may be lost somewhere between all this insanity, but in the spirit realm there is a push to end all this slaughter and destruction. In the seen realms – this space is the lowest you can willingly fall, where you are able to let yourself go and be cruel. For this to happen, we have to be a bunch of hypocrites, where what you see in others is not what you get. But most importantly, we have to fool ourselves, where we create an image of what we would like to be, and when the destructive force that is within us comes to the fore, well that is from what others do to us. Always, there is an excuse that we justify to ourselves why the fault lies with others and never ourselves. And this highlights our immense weakness, where we may see how low we have fallen, where all we know is to be destructive. To fight; to be irritated by all and sundry around us; to see ourselves as different to others, where the fault is always with them and so seldom with ourselves – when you stand back and see that big picture, then you can see how low we have fallen where destruction is built within us that we came to claim as our own. I am not being cruel or bitter when I say we have become the savage, because this is what we are, and until we see and acknowledge what we are, we are going nowhere. All I ask for is for me to be me. What I see around me and what touches me as I go about living – that is not me. This seen world is not me. I see the beauty in some of nature and the animals, and that is me. There are trees out there that will do their best to kill you when you come into their space, and as for the world of nature, where it is kill or be killed, well that is also not me. So what I do from now is I no longer allow myself to be drawn into the madness around me, because that is not me. Critical to the Games survival is to be drawn into the madness in order to try and make sense of it, and this I no longer do. My spirit walks, as it has been walking for a long time, and now this body form follows suit, where I walk away from the madness that I have been buried six feet under. No more do I react, because if I do, I either meet fire with fire, or I veer off to the left and meet insanity. It all comes back to knowing what you are, and what you are not, and from there standing your ground with what you are. This morning I woke up and tried to make sense of what happened in my sleep state. I was with another family – a family of Beauty and maturity; those that are there for each other as this is who they are. What I was around was not destruction and cruelty, but rather adults merely being adults. This was the norm, where no destructive trait was in their psyche and space. I thought this was an implanted dream, so I looked hard for those around me who might have implanted the dream, but there were none. What I was shown was what I am, which is a state of harmony and Love, not with its ups and downs, but a constant of this is all there is. But I was still unsure, so I closed my eyes and pressed against my eyelids to look deeper into the unknown. What I saw, which I have seen so many times when I close my eyes to see, was the formation of the golden eye. Pieces of this gold material come together to form an eye, and from there this golden eye turns into a purple eye, but this morning the purple one was not there. All that remained suspended in space was the golden eye. What is this golden eye? Is it the true state of Consciousness that comes from the Infinite to show itself to all so that we may remember what we are? To what family have we moved into? – Is it a state that is in closer proximity to the golden eye, where we move closer to what we are? All I can say, is to expect change one has to get up and move, as in walk away from what you have always been, where you make a commitment to walk to what you are. Do not think of destruction, as this means you are pulled into the destruction around you. In the space within of who and what you are, get up and walk to you.
  25. So what has changed in the life of Steven? – Absolutely nothing. But then let’s be fair and say this journal was never about Steven – it was about all of us who were touched by the cruelty of Life, where this is all we knew. One never accepts the cruelty and injustice inflicted upon us, as this is not normal and does not make simple, basic, common sense, but what did we have to re-balance the scales where disharmony once again turns to harmony? We had to understand why our brothers and sisters turned against us and became cruel. We had to understand why the innocence and beauty of nature and the animals were torn apart and not seen as a living, breathing entity just as we are. The bugger-up is there was no real time for understanding – there was only time for survival. There was no ways this journal could be conceived and written unless I had the time to focus on understanding why Life is cruel. Each day I sit and wonder why my phone doesn’t ring and why I am not busy helping others, and in doing so, receiving an exchange of energy where I make money to support my family, but I know the answer to that question, where there is no way I could have written this journal as I focused on having a job. This journal and those from the shadows have consumed me over the last almost ten years. My wife really fucked me up where she so disrespectfully destroyed the love I had for her and then threw it back in my face, but who else would have supported me unconditionally to complete this journal? Her cruelty was not necessary, but her providing and understanding was, where there was no time to fit into society and make money. There was only time to understand the cruelty of Life so that a way may be found out of this mess, and this understanding had to go back to the very beginning with a fall from a Creator and a parasite within a beautiful illusionary Garden that created a want with us, and of course a god that wanted to experience the complete opposite of naturally what was and came to see this as the norm. It is only fair that after seeing the big picture we focus on me and fill in the gaps, because we the body form are also entitled to be happy, so what about us the body form? To answer that question, ask yourself what you have never had that you needed the most, and what that was, was not walking alone, where something bigger than you and me is holding our hand and walking with us. That was the biggest tragedy of all – that we were alone in a most cruel place, where try as you may, help was not coming our way, and that is bone-crushing and soul destroying, hence the smoke-screens and mirrors to fool us that there is a place of beauty in the spirit realm with exalted ones there to guide us. Give the satanists their due – they knew there was no Love within the illusion, so they worshipped the big-cock the Demiurge as this fucker was all there was – him and his legion of arse-kissing cruel bastards. What a pity we never tried to look beyond cruelty and see what has been suppressed and crushed so that we help Love to once again rise and naturally be, because Love is normal and cruelty is not. We embraced the dysfunctional at our own expense, where with each passing day we became more fucked up, never asking what else is there that should naturally be. So what about me, this Steven? What about you? What about all out there that have it rough and need a helping hand? What lies ahead for us? Understand what you are – you are a manufactured programme, and there was no ways you had the capacity to rise above yourself. Only the God-force within – this Consciousness – has the capacity to override the illusion as Consciousness is not from this place, so when standing unto itself, it may rise above the illusion and transform all within, including the illusion itself. That was our the spirit and body forms ticket out of this place to an existence where there is a natural harmony because the illusion was created with Love to be a place of indescribable beauty, and it is to this natural state that we the spirit and body form return. What we write and come to understand is for one who, when themselves, can be in a position to help us the spirit and body form as well as the illusion as a whole. I said it is about the trio of spirit, body and Consciousness, but this is nonsense, as we the spirit and body form are floored by having to survive. Consciousness shines and Be’s and we the spirit and body form follow suit where Consciousness shows us the way. So what about you? What about me? To that we leave our Consciousness within to touch us and show us the way. That is the only understanding I have left, where there is something bigger than us to carry us out and away from this madness. All I have left is to hold onto this understanding, meaning Consciousness needs to shine and come and show us the way. It is the Everything, and when it fully understands what it is, that is when you and I the spirit and body form are free from survival and we no longer walk alone, where we walk with something that is bigger than us that is within us.
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