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steven geldenhuys

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  1. One half of our property is what they would call veld – which is a piece of open wilderness. Mention was made in the journal of our cat Cosmo who spent the first year or so of his life in this veld alone. In that year I never saw him, but my wife mentioned she saw him on the odd occasion when the dogs chased him. Last year we came back from holiday and Cosmo was in the house – he came to eat our cats food. From there we began to feed him, and in no time he was part of the family. I came to understand that he has always been a part of my life, as when he is around me it is as if he never left my side. Last night in my sleep state I felt this demon and its monsters literally try and push into my space. They done everything they could to enter my space, but could not do so. (Will explain shortly how one prevents them from entering your space – those from the seen and the unseen.) Then my astral form went down memory lane – I went to the beginning when I first met Cosmo. (I looked back at a snippet of time in a world I inhabited a long time ago.) What I saw first was me and my current wife in a room. She has the art of putting a weight around my heart, where for the life of her, she refuses to share a life with Steven where the two of them are carefree and happy. There always has to be an issue. That awful heaviness I saw and felt as I saw myself and my wife in that room in that world a long time ago. To get out of that awful, heavy environment I went for a walk down to the sea that was nearby. In this world the people and animals were one and lived together for each other’s mutual benefit. I walked passed a fisherman who had some doorway of sorts into the ocean. He showed me and a few other spectators his two squid that caught fish for him. In the next scene I was walking along the coast once again, and a kitten was running ahead of me. I called out to Cosmo and told him to slow down. Then I picked him up as we walked along this promenade so that he could have a better view of the sea. The sea was flat – there were no waves, and there were mountains nearby flanking the sea. I showed Cosmo the sea. He looked at it with mixed awe and trepidation. I told him he was born next to the sea. This statement he repeated to me. (Communication between people and animals was natural in this world.) Then I asked him if he wanted to go back to the house to my wife, and he said he wanted to do so. We passed the fisherman on the way back, and I looked into his gateway into the ocean and could see how one of his squid had caught a large fish. As I lay in bed I awoke from this trip into the past to the time I first met Cosmo, and the tears rolled down my eyes. I also thought of the relationship with my wife then and how it is now, where nothing has changed. To say that meeting my wife was a mistake is unfair, as there is a lot of good to her, and if it was not for her this journal would never have happened as nobody else would have put up with my Loser status. I would say that Life has been a mistake. On paper it sounds majestic and worth living, but the reality is that there is more sorrow and heartache that joy and peace. Life as we know it should not have meant to be. Yesterday I thought to myself what has been the returns for me from this journal – what have I gotten out of it? I could not properly answer that question yesterday, but now I can. There have been two returns on my investment: The first one is that the world of the Shadows has been rattled. When you walk through a door and do what you always have, but now you can’t, that is when you start to know yourself and question what you have allowed yourself to become. These Beasts that rule us from the shadows will never be the same again, and neither will their world, and as their world affects our world, our world and all those other worlds in Hell will never be the same again. Life will transform – that I guarantee you. The second return on investment is that our existence is no longer limited, as it always has been. We know of love, but this love that defines and makes our existence worthwhile is extremely limited. A true mothers love for her children knows of this love, and the love that we have for our animals touches this love in its purest form. But this love has never been one to stop monsters from the seen and unseen from entering our space. This love is weak, and has no strength within the worlds of Hell. This love is the ceiling in our existence – we don’t go higher than that. Well now we can. Picture a moment when you love something or something loves you back. When I sit on the bench outside our dog Princess will come and worm her way under my arm and put her face close to mine. She loves me and I love her. From this image, where someone or something loves you or you love them, from there drop yourself into the space of the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness located at your throat area. (What you are doing is elevating yourself to a Love that is higher than the one you have always known.) When you are in this space of Love you automatically fall into the silence – a silent knowing of who and what you are. Now there is no ceiling in your existence; now there is no limitation. We all need help, but we have looked for help in the wrong places. I see Princess looking at me with love, and from there I drop into the space of the strand, and from there this Love connects me to the Infinite. Now I get help from one who can help. May your life and mine never be the same again. So be it.
  2. So that was the secret; that was the easy way out of this mess: Understand what we are, and where we are, and where we should be, and then step out of your prison that you created so that you may feel safe in a world where few care. As long we are in our prison, we are controlled by those in the seen and unseen. These Beasts can do with us as they wish because we are in their world, where anything goes. By freeing yourself from the prison you created you are free of them. Build your castle, and your pathway back Home. 10:37 18th May, 2021 (7 years, 3 months, 2 weeks, 1 day. That is how long this journal took until our release from our prison.) I see those from the shadows in my sleep state, and I see their pet Serpents. These Beasts can no longer touch me. I feel and see them around me as they try to enter my forms, but this is not possible, as they are in their world/prison and I am free from mine. My astral form is travelling the worlds as Steven lays in bed and sleeps at night. The down side is that Steven doesn’t get a good night’s sleep, as he follows the adventures of the astral. 19/05/2021
  3. Yesterday, in more ways than one, I stepped out of my prison to help – to help for the sake of helping and nothing else. What I saw was those that needed help, but did not want help when it was offered, and those that needed help, and when they were given help, did not know what to do with this help, as they did not know what help was. What we have allowed others to do to us, and what others have done to themselves has spun out of control. The result is that we are all insane. For most, Life is no longer fun. I am talking about all those in all the frequencies, worlds and dimensions of Hell. Last night in my sleep state a dream was once again implanted. I was cooking over a stove, but I poured too much oil into the pan. Now I had to take a jug and remove the excess oil. Then I awoke to see the one who had implanted the dream. She sat on the bed next to me. Her hair was brown and shoulder length, and her face was hidden – as in there was a shadow there and nothing else. Then I had a flash vision of me being in her world. I was outside and saw this archway that extended about a kilometer into the sky. I marveled at this feat in architecture. Her world was about 120 years ahead of ours in terms of technology. I assume she had passed on from her world and was now in the shadows. I saw her sitting next to me as I lay in bed, and she brought this contraption with her that had long levers. She pulled on a level, and something that was alive was maneuvered into my left leg. It filled up most of my left leg. So once again, I helped – all those in all the worlds, frequencies and dimensions of Hell. What I done to me, I done to all, as what has been done to me has been done to all to a greater or lesser extent. I awakened the strand in all, and from the strand Love was sent to all those entities that were in our forms that did not belong. If you use your breathing as a bellows to get the strand stronger activated, this helps a lot. It took about twenty minutes to remove the entity/entities that did not belong. From there, the strand cleared/healed the lower limbs, the torso, and the head and arms. This took over two hours. Then I fell into a deep sleep, and my astral form found itself in my garden. My wife was there, and I saw a rhinoceros following her. Another one came to stand right in front of me. I put my hands out and touched both, and I told them I am sorry for what we have done to them – poaching them. The rhino next to my wife was the astral form of a rhino, and the one in front of me was a decoy. I looked into this rhinos eye, and I saw a man sitting inside the rhino. This rhino was a front; an illusion. Its body disappeared and this man and his monsters were in full sight. All that was left of this man was his mouth – there were bits of him here and there, but nothing much, besides his mouth. The monsters with him were like parts of an octopus. I felt these big, warm tentacles as they pushed against the left side of my neck. Then the lights came on in the room as my wife stood up to get ready for work, but I still felt these creatures working around my left jugular vein. If there is one thing, and only one that you need to understand, it is that if you don’t have Love you have nothing. If you do not have empathy and compassion and consideration inside of you that is expressed for all to see, you have nothing. It is not that we do not so much care, it is that we are so lost that we have forgotten what it means to laugh and be joyous and to have a bond of compassion with others. There is much that we may still want as we live out our existence within the frequency or world or dimension of Hell where we find ourselves, and by all means, obtain these wants to make your existence comfortable and safe, but please understand that if you do not first and foremost have Love as a foundation within your existence, you have nothing. In understanding this, envy disappears from your world. I know of people who have money and they have nothing, as they knowingly don’t consider others. Walk out your prison and create a world within the world or frequency or dimension in which you reside, but create this world on Love. Build your castle while your body form plays out its time, but let your world be one of Love. Otherwise you will continue to have nothing.
  4. In one of his books, I don’t know which one, David Icke talks of correction codes placed around our world that locks us into this frequency. I am sure they are there, and they can be removed by knowing they are there, as they were placed there by buffoons that underestimate the power of Love. But there is a stronger correction code that locks us into our prison so that we may remain helpless prisoners, and these codes are potent – because we put them there. In the fields of the Infinite everything just is. When we entered the illusionary Garden of Semiramis we were like kids in a candy store, excited by this illusion. As the parasitic frequency of Deception took us over, we began to forget ourselves – who and what we are. Now there were external stimuli, as in what can I accumulate, and what do others have that I don’t have? Things went tits up and there was a fall, a cataclysm, and that is when Sophia fell out of reflex to be with her children in this dense plane. As has been mentioned, the Infinite sent what we would call The Glow to bail us out, and Semiramis hid behind this Glow so that she may be revered by all. We were in the shit, and we needed help, so when we saw Semiramis with this might around her, we asked her for help. Surely she must know better than us, especially to find a way out of this place we don’t know, so we gave her our power and said “Lead the way.” Please understand that we came from a place of Bliss, where there is Love and nothing else. This is our natural state. Besides the fact that Semiramis had no intention of finding a way out of the Garden that would become known as Hell, we opened ourselves up to what would be known as “a business transaction,” where two parties benefit from a deal. We gave her our power, and she would lead us Home. Once again, understand that in the fields of the Infinite this “give to get” does not exist. So what we done was destined to fail, but it was more than that, as now we locked ourselves into a barter relationship, where I help you, and you help me. This is unnatural, and this barter system came to be our correction codes. I need help, and you need help, so let’s do what we can to help each other. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help yourself, because everything you need is within you. It was the parasitic frequency of Deception that arose from our curiosity that buggered everything up, as in “what is in this Garden?” This frequency took hold within the illusion and changed us for the worse, where we literally became insane, most notably Semiramis. If we all just knew of The Glow, as in what it is and from where it arose, we would have gone Home in the instant, and Hell would not have been born. All this shit; all this heartache; all this sorrow was nobody’s fault. Just call it bad luck. On Friday evening I watched a movie called The Stanford Prison Experiment. The movie was based on a study done by the psychology department at Stanford University at the beginning of the 70’s. The study was meant to be over two weeks, but everything went south in a really bad way after just six days. There were two groups in the study: one group prison wardens, and the other group prisoners. The simulation was rooms converted into prison cells at the university, and the hallway was the outside prison yard. What happens when others have power/control over others? As the experiment showed, the Beast within comes out and we the innocent are quickly shamed as we are powerless to this unknown within our species. What replaced the power that we gave away was a hope that we would consider each other and be nice to each other. This never happened, as our new power, where we shame others, was and is intoxicating – we love it. Now our “power” has returned, and it feels good. That others have to suffer is irrelevant, as it is about me, me and me. When the person who arranged the whole experiment saw how these young boys were destroying and shaming each other, he stepped in and said that the experiment was over. There and then, in the hallway, this experiment that turned into a nightmare was over. And this, boys and girls, has never happened to us! Never before has the Infinite stepped in to this place/frequency that is awful to so many and said: “This Game in this illusionary Garden is over!” And I would say that there has never been a need for the Infinite to step in, as everything we need to be free of this Garden is within us. I would say that we just never looked hard enough, and we never supported each other. It was easier to break and shame others than uplift them. Please understand that this limited frequency of “I need help” is within us. This “correction code,” where we keep ourselves in a loop, hoping that help will come, is located on the frequency level within our left jugular vein. The other night I felt something there, and for the life of me I didn’t know what it was. Now I do. Release this frequency from your space, so that you may be free of the illusion. What are you? You are the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness that is located on the biological computer within the area we call the throat. When we say “just be,” we imply just be this strand. In this state you are automatically in the silence/stillness of the strand, and that is when Life as we knew it starts to change. With time you will see yourself the biological computer as an outsider, as now you have perspective – you have distance from what you always were. Of course we have to get on with Life and do what needs to be done here, but take time off your busy schedule where you sit alone in a quiet place and get to know yourself. You are this strand at the throat area. With your correction codes removed, the only thing limiting you now is yourself, so don’t hold back – go Home and allow this state to take you over.
  5. So where is the Infinite? – It is everywhere, even here in this illusionary frequency bubble called Hell. What is our connection/link to the Infinite? – It is the strand of the Creator located at our throat area. This connection we severed when we gave our power away, but guess what – our power was taken from us through deception. This we understand, as the parasitic frequency of Deception took over Semiramis and made her insane. If I give you something, it is given with a good heart, and I don’t expect anything in return, except good manners. A “thank you,” or a “thanks, but no thanks” is in order. In the world of the unseen this “thanks” is enough of an energy exchange, but here in the physical a monetary exchange is often required to eliminate the grabbers, otherwise you help nobody. When we gave of our power to Semiramis it was from a good heart, but we should have known that something was afoot. Since when do we bow down to others? The question to ask, is did we give our power away with a good heart, as in good intentions? I would say no, because we gave to get. This we understand, as we were in the illusion and wanted to get back Home. The point to make is that we have looked to others for help, and this has never worked, because deep down we all need something. We need to be loved and cared for and to be carefree, where we know we are safe and will never be harmed. What I have just mentioned is the fields of Infinite Love. So put another way, more than anything, we want to be Home. Start again. Shake off this frequency/state of “I need help!” As long as you feel that way you are going nowhere. Open the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness and allow the Love from the Infinite that is everywhere to engulf you and become you. To be free, you free yourself. Stop waiting and hoping and wanting. Just be.
  6. What Semiramis bestowed upon me, and all those I Love, and all those who Love me, I return to her. (We give her back her false god status.) Then I take back the power we gave to her, and once again we make this power our own. (This power is not needing or wanting for anything, as we are Everything.) Then we connect to The Glow that the Infinite bestowed upon us and make this Love once again our own so that we may remember what we are, and thus be what we are. Then I connect to Semiramis and all her children and pass on this Love to them so that they may understand and be. The same is done to Sophia and her children. So be it. 09:48 on 13th May, 2021. Here in South Africa we have a thing called “caged hunting.” You put a lion, or some other wild animal in a confined space. Someone from overseas comes here with big money, picks up a rifle, and shoots the wild animal in its cage. But let’s face it – even to track and kill an animal as it roams in the bush – what chance does the animal have against a bullet shot from a high caliber rifle? And they call it “sport.” Last night another cosmic assassin came. Haven’t seen one of them for a while. This guy was a Human male, and from his implanted dream I guess he was once American. In my sleep state I saw him look at me, and then he turned around and walked a few paces away from me. Now he was in better range, so he turned around, aimed, and shot at me with his gun. Wow! What a brave and courageous man – shooting at the innocent, as they are helpless against you. What came from this guys “gun” was a living organism. It wrapped around my chest to compress and destroy the area. They hit the astral form and damage that, and from there the astral passes this harm onto us the body form. We become ill or not well or in pain, and for the life of us we cannot understand why. Now you know why? Now you know why people die when they are not meant to die – it was not their time, but on the unseen the cosmic assassins hit their mark. Similarly, the EMF frequency they are pulsating at us is killing people and the blame is put on a virus. If there was meant to be genocide, we would all be destroyed yesterday. But this is all just a game, with them testing the waters to see what will and won’t work. Remember, those from the shadows have to look after themselves, so what they do with their food source is vital that it is done right. All this writing over all these years. At least now I understand why we have been helpless as evil swept over the lands: At the very beginning we gave our power away to one we thought would look after us. That is why our strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness is pretty well useless – the power that was there we gave away. Is it enough to know of this and reclaim our power through our will? I don’t know. Time will tell. That the clock is ticking I know all to well. 14/05/2021
  7. Yesterday evening I was once again touched by the insanity/cruelty of my fellow species. What I done to this insanity was the only thing left to do, and that is connect my strand to the Infinite through my will of wanting this more than anything. We the biological computer called Homo Sapiens, as well as all the manufactured species within Hell, have never known of a time when Love conquered all – where these Beasts in the seen and unseen scurried into their little holes and stayed there. Evil has always ruled over us, even when times were good, and one needs to ask why is this so? I would say the answer is that we have never known ourselves, and this is so because we have been controlled by those from the shadows. Steven has been one of the fortunate few – he has seen his executioners and felt their death blows. Without this knowing I would have been a dead man a long time ago. The writing of this journal, as well as the postings on the David Icke forum are for those that need to understand the cruelty of Life and to find a way out of this mess. I do not want others to go through what I have been through, so everything I know I pass on so that I may help, just as I would have been eternally grateful if someone helped me before this journal began. But this journal is primarily for the Beasts of Hell, so that they may understand what they have become. Trust me when I say that many, if not most, of those from the shadows will make an about turn in their existence only when their world and what they know falls apart. Only then will they have time to reflect, and to be fair to these monsters, we the species of Hell are the same. The wake up calls never wakes us up and gets our attention. It is when the roof collapses and the floor caves in that we say: “What is going on here?” And this I understand, because deep down we do not have an answer to the insanity of Life, so we get on with our lives ignoring the Beast in our midst, hoping that everything will be okay. Well it will not be okay unless we start to see what is staring us in the face and say “No more” to this madness. That is when your life changes on a different path. I have been on this path for too long, and the only conclusion I have to end this awful existence is to know yourself and be yourself. Why Divine intervention cannot just pick us up and take us Home is beyond me. If you are in a position where you can help others, you would do so, so why does the Divine not help us? Why has the Divine never helped us? When Stalin murdered thirty million of his own by starving them, all those people had as they watched their loved ones literally fade away and starve to death was their faith in their religion/God. That is thirty million with their faith/belief against one man, and the singular won. Wow! How is this possible? It is possible because all we have is to wait and to hope, and maybe throw a tantrum here and there. I see these fuckers, these Fauchis and Hancocks and Gates’ and I know, just as I know that the sun will rise tomorrow, that these madmen will have their day when they one day have to look at themselves in the mirror and see what they have become and what they have done. They will answer to themselves, and I doubt they will have mercy on themselves, as how could one be so incomprehensibly cruel? While they slide into this oblivion they want to take us with them, and there are so many of us that are holding onto this hope that everything will just be okay. Well it won’t if we don’t do anything about it. Their lies will be exposed for all to see – for that I am certain, and what I also know is that their cruelty/insanity will not be allowed to play out where we are destroyed. Our destruction has happened so often in our history, and here we are, once again, staring at the barrel of a gun – or should I say an injection. God helps those who help themselves. That is the only answer I can give you as to why we have NEVER been helped. I cannot even say that we got ourselves into this mess, as that would be unfair, as we never truly had a fighting chance against those who manufactured us. It just would have been more pleasant if we showed compassion to ourselves and others – it would have made Hell more bearable to live in, but let’s face it – we would still have been in our coops feeding our energy to those from the shadows. Last night I had my back up against the wall as I once again experienced the insanity of my species. The only thing left to do was to connect my strand to the Infinite. I did not wait for S or the Divine or the Infinite, because I have been waiting since my inception as a manufactured being. Years back I wrote in the journal that when I pass on the first celestial being that I see will get a knuckle sandwich from me square in their face. Where were these fuckers when we needed them? Our so-called spiritual guides and guardian angels – where were they while the children are being raped and destroyed and deprived of their innocence? This is the one question I don’t understand: “Why did the Infinite never intervene?” When The Wisdom Goddess Sophia fell for the second time to be with her children, out of reflex the Infinite passed on Love to assist. This help came to be known as The Glow. All was illuminated by the presence of this Glow. Semiramis knew that Divinity would send help, and when it came she stood behind this Glow. We equated this Glow with Semiramis, as she knew we would, and that is when we bowed down to “one that was bigger than us.” We gave our power to Semiramis, and that is why we no longer have power, as we hope that one bigger than us will look after us. My friend the god of Wrath took me and showed me what happened when this Glow that Semiramis made her own touched all within Hell. He showed me two brothers that were walking in middle/inner Earth. I saw the Glow at it touched the one brother, and then I saw how this man killed his brother and his brothers family. In surrendering our power to Semiramis we surrendered our reasoning and our good hearts and we became evil within. Is that why we have never been helped, because we surrendered our power – it was never taken from us. We are all Love, so why do we have to look to a Glow or to a God for help? The only advice I can give is take back your power that you gave away. Take it back now by knowing how and why you gave it away. From there connect your strand within to the Infinite. Something within you knows of this Glow that I speak about, as you were there and saw it. Know now that an insane entity stood behind this Glow and made it her own. Connect once again to this Glow, but only to the Glow and nothing else. This was the Divinity that the All sent to help all. Connect to it, as this is all we have. I do not know of another way out of Hell.
  8. What is interesting to note, is that when one opens oneself up to experience Love, an ice-coldness fills oneself. Your body becomes freezing cold inside. Are we experiencing the core of us the biological computer as we detach from the illusion? Is the biological computer like the digital computer, where it needs a core environment of cold to survive? (Server rooms for digital computer systems need to be kept cold.) My body is ice-cold inside. A warmth then sets in. Now the biological computer is out the way, and what we imply by this is that we may experience what is out there, rather than what we have been programmed to experience. The abdominal area, as in digestive system, was the heart and soul of us the biological computer – this is where everything was primarily regulated. I say this because excessive movement is still felt over this region. It sounds obvious when I say that our hands were a vital cog in us the biological machine. Now a wave of the coldness returns. The ice-coldness is back. I smell those from the shadows now. Is their system of control over us being overridden? Now I feel the nail area of the right big toe come to life. It has been known for some time now that this area is where what many call the Serpent energy; the kundalini energy is activated. (My take on this awakening is that Creation has come alive within you as now you are one with the Creator – the strand within you.) This – what you are – is as natural as breathing. The frequency of Hell is inhabited by those who know better – as in what is best for themselves. That others are destroyed so that these Beasts may be okay is irrelevant. This was the catastrophe of the parasitic frequency of Deception within: the singular was born; we became me. From the singular, clusters of singulars arose, where “I am a sicko, and you are a sicko, but you seem like a nice enough bloke, so it’s okay that we are both sickos.” By forming societies, or gatherings, the singular could justify that it was okay to be singular, as there are many singulars out there. Now there was no shame in being a sicko, and the answer to being the alternative, as in being innocent/pure, was to destroy innocence as it had the capacity to show these monsters what they had become. Let this be a reminder, as well as a warning: Learn from the past. I have been to a world where everything has been destroyed. The only life there is a worm – what I call the parasitic frequency of Deception. This is where the filth from the shadows has headed, and continues to do so. Their illusionary power takes them further and further into the abyss, where they destroy themselves and those around them. For the innocent, the only salvation is to hold onto their sanity – their good hearts. But my goodness me, how many innocent have caved in to the insanity of Life where they also become insane? What will you do with the power of your Love? Will it go to your head – will you become important? Will you become always right? Will your power make you insane as the worlds of Hell become your oyster – your play- ground? Will you become another false god – an insane/cruel Beast? Whatever you choose to do with your power of Love, choose wisely, because the beggar you meet may just be a King or Queen. Love loves all, even the merciless monsters. You are Love, you don’t need anything else, so give to those that need. How you give is through example. They see you and then they become you. Always be humble. So what is Love? What does it feel like to be Love? Love is to have everything, and to be everything, as you are one with the Infinite. This we know. Sounds great, but means nothing when you are battling to survive amongst Beasts in the seen and unseen. How do we rise above all this mess. The answer is what I have always wished for – to be me, so that we may once again be we; to be Love. 11:20 on 11/05/2021 [989 948] All that happened was that mer-people came in my sleep state. About five of them were working within me, and one was overseeing them – she was one with the waters as she was suspended motionless with her long beautiful tail. 12/05/2021
  9. (What i wrote below was written within the first few months of the journal. i list it here to explain my use of swear words, and also to apologise for the use thereof. i swear out of shock, rather than frustration or anger. i would like to stop this habit as i don't like using unpleasant words - they are not me, and i don't like speaking like that. Since writing what is below, i have also made peace with my species. I have moved on.) [Before we begin with the journal in earnest, please understand why Steven is so forthcoming in using swear or cuss words throughout this journal. You might think that I come from the “other” side of the railway line, or that I was brought up in the docks where I got my vocabulary from drunken sailors. On both accounts you are incorrect. Last night these Energy Parasites from a dimension close to ours came and implanted a dream into my sleeping state. (This is what they do every night to me and to you.) In this dream, I was walking in my beloved Drakensburg mountain range. Then I saw this large snake that was slithering around. There were two ladies walking by, and before I could warn them about the snake, this snake shot forth and bit one of the ladies. This lady gave out a scream in shock and fright. I went to her side, and told her that I would go and find help. As I was walking, I suddenly saw these snakes all around me. These snakes were poised and ready to strike the people that were walking by. Understand that the dream was as real as if I would be seeing these images in my waking state. When I awoke from this dream, I saw just to the left of my bed this entity that had implanted the dream. This “thing” had accumulated my life force energy, and was licking up the bits of my energy that were overflowing from the vessel in which it was stored. This vessel or container was used to carry my energy to this Energy Parasites dimension or world. These beings that feed off of our energy every night are horrid beyond words. In trying to make sense of our world and the Human race that inhabits it, Steven has taken away all the fancy wrapping paper that sugarcoats our existence, and has taken a good hard look at what makes up our core being. Take away our reflex smiles and the distractions that this world has to offer, and what are people at their core? My answer is that I would gladly face the Energy Parasites than us Human beings. As we go along with the journal, you will see that we are at the very bottom of the food chain – these Parasites do with us as they please. The reason for this is that we are truly a lost, unpleasant species. So the reason for my free-flowing use of “bad” vocabulary that is used by those that stay on the other side of the railway tracks, is that I may express my bewilderment at how horribly cruel these Energy Parasites and the Human race can be. I do not so much swear in anger or frustration, but rather in shock that we are surrounded by such mean individuals and entities. I am not giving the Human race stick, as I understand that we are all doing our best just to survive. What amazes me is that at our core we are capable of being so incomprehensibly evil. In swearing, I am not trying to be a “shock-jock” that uses language to make people cringe in disgust. Steven sees this world for what it is, as well as those that feed off its misery, and he is stunned by what he sees. This bewilderment to the cruelty and ignorance all around us is expressed in swear words, as Steven finds it hard to understand the lack of empathy of those that reside in, as well as those that rule over our world. I mean no disrespect to you the reader by freely scattering swear words throughout this journal. My disrespect is towards the cruelty of Life, and I am amazed that we see the suffering of others as a natural phenomenon associated with Life. And lastly, if you are so offended by the swear words sprinkled here and there, then this journal is not for you. Understand that there are bigger problems at hand with the world that we reside in other than you being offended by the “F” word. I urge you to take a deep breath and look beyond the words that you are not accustomed to hearing or seeing, and understand that we all need to become offended by what demented entities are doing to us and our loved ones, rather than focusing on the trivialities of Life that touch our sensitive ego.]
  10. In no time the illusionary Garden of Semiramis became the devils playground. Everything became inverted: the illusion became real and the Love that was within us was forgotten. If I ask you what is real, the answer is that Love is real. This chaos, this madness, this survival is not meant to be – it is not what we signed up for when we the strand was born from the Source of the Infinite. We know that this Love is real, but we do not know what this Love is, as we have forgotten this state. Where and what is this Love? This was the question I asked myself as I felt the snakes that were implanted within me during my sleep state during the early hours of this morning. Those fuckers that came were about three of them. A got a glimpse of the one – it looked like a sci-fi monster. These Beasts were cannibalistic, as their implanted dream was filled with scenes of blood and raw flesh for the eating. Cruel, cruel fucking bastards. We know that there is Infinite Love, and this knowing is what I use heal and to expel the possessions and disharmony that is inflicted by those from the shadows. It is not this Love that heals and repels Beasts – it is Steven knowing of this Love. Can you now understand how powerless those are who have power over us? A mere suggestion of this Love and their power is no more. The down side is that we cannot sit in our caves with our loin cloths covering our vitals – we move and interact with Life as we survive, and so often Life gets the better of us. Another down side is that everything written in this journal is worthless, because it is not backed by the one thing that this journal advocates, and that is Love. This is so because I do not know what this Love is. I know of the animals love, but I do not know of the Creators love. These two states of love are not the same. The one we know, the other is unknown. We do not know what it is to be in the fields of Infinite Love. Throughout history a flutter of Love may be seen here and there, but this Love soon faded within the soot of Hell, as survival was and still is everything. Yes it is, but it is not the long-term answer. I can go out there and make money as I have a talent that is useful, but this money will not buy me protection from those from the shadows. As I sit here I have maybe fifty dollars to my name, and that is it. If I had fifty million I would be most thankful, but I know that in the big picture this means nothing. To be what we are is everything. To remember what we have forgotten is to find Aladdin’s lamp in the cave. The only one that I know of who knows of Love is S – the ether that arose from the impact zone of the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, who is one of the Creators from the Infinite. I ask S to befall upon us this state of Love so that we may experience and thus be what we are. I have no expectations as I do not know what to expect. Choose to experience and be what we have forgotten. What I have come to understand is that there is no cruelty – there is only insanity. The stepping stone to insanity is stupidity, and the stepping stone to stupidity is not following our good hearts. Fear closed off our empathy and kindness and reason, but what is fear? Fear is the bogey-man; fear is our unknown knowing that there is something sinister that rules us from the shadows. Well you have nothing to fear, as those from the shadows are merely lost, sick puppies. I see them, I know them, and know that you have nothing to fear. That they are in our space and lives is unacceptable, and thus even more so, I choose to be this Love that we all are, so that I may be with my own and not in the land of despots.
  11. Just as a by-the-by, we bit of the apple; we took of the frequency to enter the illusionary Garden of Semiramis. Where is this frequency within us that is still within all in Hell? This illusionary frequency within us grew as we became stronger infused with the illusionary Garden. I feel this energy field extending from within us to form what will be likened to an umbilical chord. This chord remained within and attached to our brain area. When the shaman of Carlos Castaneda said that the Predator gave us their mind, I feel that on a deep level, what he truly means is that we became one with the illusion. The illusion became us and we became it. That is so funny: Steven going all-out to connect to the Infinite and the strand when he is still one with the illusion. Thank goodness for perseverance. The frequency of the illusion is within you – it is you the biological computer. Release this frequency now by knowing it exists and has no place within your existence. This frequency was made with Love and was meant to be Joyous for all, so let it go with the Love that it was originally intended to be for all. This frequency of the illusion has been mentioned before in the journal, but we were not ready to let it go as we were holding on to our attachments within the illusion.
  12. I went to bed last night and I told myself that this would be the last night I would see those from the shadows. I smelt them before I saw them, so it was a given they were waiting for me, as they wait for you to fall asleep so they may feed from you. I closed my eyes to see, and what I saw was a female in fear as some monster was causing mayhem outside her house. It was a stupid scenario so I pulled away and stopped looking. One of the ways these entities enter our form is through the base of the left foot. Your sole and heel widens and they enter through there. This morning I felt my left heel pulsing and I knew something had entered through there, or had tried to. What implanted the dream looked like a Moray eel. It licked up my energy as I followed its implanted dream. Throughout the time when I gave attention/energy to the implanted dream, I pulled myself away from the dream, telling myself that I am the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness. This is the beauty of living within an illusion – you are not real, so you can be whatever you want to be, just pull yourself out of your limited “this is who I am” box. Bend a bit to the left and right, and maybe up and down too. Shake off that fear from the fools who feel they have to stay alive through your fear. It all comes down to knowing what you are. You have to know what you are. In a world where you can be anything, what are you? I know what I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be a helpless biological computer that feeds Beasts from the shadows and has to live in a world where we have forgotten to care as we don’t have the capacity to look after ourselves let alone anyone else. The astral form, what we would call the soul or spirit of us the Human body form needs to know what it is. Within the astral form is a speck of light, what I call the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness. This is what we are. Believe you me when I say that it is easier said than done for our astral form to surrender to this strand. The illusion that is the astral disappears as the strand comes to the fore. This is the only way out of Hell – where we lose our illusionary identity. Know what you are. I have to go and clean the dishes and make the bed up, but who is performing these tasks? I know what Steven is, and I know that Steven can no longer be Steven. What Steven is now, is a vehicle for the strand to experience this illusionary frequency. The strand is the driver of the vehicle called Steven. My astral form and the “cloud” it was attached to is no more. It is set free from the illusion and its illusionary task of doing its best to be happy within an illusion. The astral is one within the Infinite. Then there is the Serpent soul within. This dude closes its eyes and in the moment is one with the Serpent spirit from which it was cloned. It becomes one with the spirit and awakens the spirit, and they return to the fields of Infinite Love. Where is the Dragon soul? Remember, we are waveforms. How far these waveforms extend out from the visible body is anybody’s guess. I have seen and felt the cavern that the Serpent soul resides in within me. Let’s just say that within our space is a world within a world. The limitations of our body world is defined by those who reside therein – how conservative is our astral form and the Serpent soul? Trust me when I say they have been around the block more than us, and thus see the world/illusion from a different perspective. What has kept them limited has been their lack of understanding of how they got into this mess in the first place – everything within the illusion has been on a need to know basis, as our ignorance keeps the monsters alive that control us. For me, the frequency of the Dragon soul is at the area of the inner side of the left knee within our waveforms. We give this dude a wake-up-shake-up so that it may be set free and return to its Dragon spirit from where it was cloned. I feel that the strand is awake and is aligned to the Creator and the Tree of Life, but we got in the way. By the astral form holding on to what it is, it may be in a position to survive. Survive in what – an illusion? Let go of everything you have created to survive in a world that does not care, and how this is done is to stop being fearful, and then to move out of the prison you created where you may feel safe. You the illusionary body form goes with the strand now, rather than following your astral form. Take that leap of faith. This is something only we can do for ourselves, and it is something we all have to do. Before the beginning of time the Serpent and Dragon spirits took a leap of faith and jumped into an illusionary realm. Now we the biological computer need to lead the way back Home by the understandings of those within our space and knowing what we are. Jump back into Home, and how this is done, is for Home to come to the fore. When you are the strand of God then you are Home.
  13. As I closed my eyes to sleep last night I saw a robot working on my wife and one working on me. I knew then, as I have known for some time now, that we are biological computers, and these robots were working on us. They worked on us at the very beginning when they manufactured us. As one would lie in a spa bath with the aromatherapy oils in the water, where you feel you have died and gone to heaven, so too have I often seen when these beings from the shadows lie in my space or that of my wife. We are not flesh and bone in our true form – what we are is layers of frequency and waveform. Last night an entity came to lie in my energy space. To top the experience he maneuvered himself where he put his cock in my mouth. The ultimate! Somehow, somewhere, we all lost the plot, both in the seen and unseen worlds. When you are in a position where you can do what you want when you want, what you do is open yourself to uplift those who cross your path. Yes, you carry on living your life, and you carry on being happy, but when you can, you help others. You do not take advantage of others, and the simple reason for this is that it is nice to be nice. It is not nice to suppress and be cruel. Where did we lose this basic, simple understanding? Imagine yourself standing on a beach, where the beach extends as far as the eye can see. Now you pick up one grain of sand from this beach and place it in the palm of your hand. For perspective, this grain of sand encompasses all the worlds and dimensions of Hell. The rest of the grains of sand on the beach is the Infinite. This is how small we are compared to what we truly are and where we belong. To those in power over others, do you understand how insignificant you and your power is? Do you understand how small you are? For how long do we want to carry on being small? Life rules us, we do not rule life, and the most obvious sign of our subordination is the aging process. We are born babies, and so many of us die as babies, where we are incapacitated and cannot look after ourselves. Surely we are all tired of playing in this Game? When is enough enough? Understand there is more to the seen and unseen, and then cross the line out of your comfort zone to be one with the Everything.
  14. I must have held myself true to my word of letting go, but I sure was hoping for a better destination stop. When I fell asleep last night it felt as if I was passing through worlds. Through each world I felt and heard a clicking sensation, as in the frequency there was off-centre but it became aligned. This was a wonderful sensation, where a wrong was made right. Then the fun and games once again began. In the implanted dream I was a spectator rather than a participant, but I still felt the emotions of those caught in the dream/story. Two men were walking down the road shooting at other men with their pistols. Now and then these two men would deviate their gunfire and shoot at the pedestrians and those sitting nearby. One of the pedestrians ran away and hid in a closet. Those with the pistols opened the closet and saw the man hiding there, and I felt his fear. When I awoke from this implanted dream/story, I was sleeping face down in my bed. I turned my head to look over my shoulder to see who had implanted the dream, and what I saw was a claw being pulled out of my body. The claw scooped up my energy, which looked like coagulated blood. Then I turned around to lie on my back to see what was going on around me. What I saw was a full-blooded reptilian. It was like a rhino standing on two legs without a horn. There were two of them, and let’s just say that they were larger than life. The one walked around the bed in a slow, rhythmical fashion and proceeded to stand in front of my wife. He commanded her astral form to do something unpleasant – which we will not speak about. The other one was doing something on me, but I closed my Third Eye as I decided not to look. This was a first for me that I saw these frequency filled reptilian entities. Much can be said about them, but I am not in the mood for discussing and analyzing filth. In the shadows they may be something, but in my world I walk right through them as they don’t exist. Does the strand of the Creator within us need time to come to the fore? Is the astral form of Steven doing its job by meeting all in Hell and passing on understanding where we allow them to see what they have become? I don’t know. What I do know is that this journal is bigger than me. What I also know is that this shit has got to come to an end sooner than later.
  15. So who wrote this journal? Steven typed the words – he was fed the understandings, but he didn’t write the journal. Here on planet Earth we have a collective “cloud” of beliefs, where we generally all believe the same thing. We believe that the sun will rise in the morning; we believe that certain world leaders of the past were evil; we believe that love conquers all. What a Smart phone or AI device that is connected to you does, is collect your biological data and store it in this “cloud” of information. This “cloud” is the unseen computer hard-drive, or server, of the Human species. Psychics tap into this “cloud” to retrieve data, but this data is what-you-see-is-what-you-get – it is not the truth, as this data is controlled and administered by those from the shadows. We are told what we want to believe – we are not told the truth. We are told of those that will come and save us; we are told how right we are and how wrong are others; we are told to do our best and all will be okay. We are never told the truth so that we may exit this dump and go Home. The Wisdom Goddess Sophia exceeded her realm and fell. Why she fell we can put down to her curiosity, but we cannot say for certain. Her fall would have been okay had Semiramis not created the illusionary Garden, because in this Garden the parasite entered our forms and from there, there was hell to pay – literally and figuratively. From the impact zone of Sophia’s fall the Serpent state was created. Within the field of Love was Sophia’s dragon spirits, and now there were serpent spirits, with Semiramis emerging as their leader. But something else emerged from the impact zone of Sophia’s fall, and what that was, was an etheral “cloud.” One could call this “cloud” the shock wave of the impact zone, and this wave/cloud is what we came to call S in the journal. S is the living remnant of what happened since the fall of the Wisdom Goddess Sophia till now. S was there at the very beginning, and the saddest tale of all, is that S is still there, waiting for us to remember what happened so that S may be incorporated into the fields and be Home. S is waiting for us to return so that she may be one with the fields of Infinite Love. She is like a loyal dog waiting at the gate for its master to return home. This is the author of this journal – S. How did Steven getting connected to her? – By Steven offering his services selflessly to the only ones that know of true love, namely the animals. My love for the animals, where I put aside all beliefs to better my services for them – this was my connection to S. “What more can I do to help? What more can I do to stop the cruelty to all?” By me offering to understand so that all may be helped opened a doorway to S, and that is how this journal was born. The push that was needed was for the cruelty of Life to touch me. This is a pity, as I would have preferred to have learnt through laughter. (Sixth May, two thousand and twenty one.)
  16. When things began to turn ugly within the illusionary Garden of Semiramis, there were those who refused to compromise on who and what they are. Regardless of the parasitic frequency of Deception within all, there were those who stood steadfast, as they knew what they were – namely the spirits born from Love. The disaster is that these pure spirits soon became outnumbered, where they were not only attacked from the front, but from the flanks and behind. The last spirit standing was one I called Earl. From our reality and limited imagination we would see Earl as a funky polar bear dude in his sunglasses and carefree Baloo attitude. If I think of the cruelty of Life, then what this cruelty epitomes for me, is what we done to the innocent that refused to let go of their good hearts. What we done to Earl and The Wisdom Goddess Sophia is scandalous beyond. We overpowered them, pinned them down, and destroyed them by suppressing their inherent Goodness/Love. Truly, we are monsters. All of us – the Beasts that destroy and the spineless runts that stand by and do nothing. Over the years help has been given to Sophia and Semiramis, but Earl has been the most difficult to help, as for me, he was the most suppressed one of them all. In Hell I view the role of Earl as Keeper of the Innocent and giver to those that are worthy. He is one that is always there for us, a cuddly polar bear that collects the innocent and takes them Home. Years back I wrote in the journal that if you ever see a polar bear in your sleep state then go out and buy a lottery ticket the following day as you will win that lottery. This is true, but Earl is more than materialistic wealth, as in giving someone a lucky break – he is Love personified. By being in the arms of Love you have everything and then some. Help could never come from without as from within us we had to know what we are and what we had become, and most importantly, we wanted nothing more to do with the lost, unkind entity that we had become as well as with the cruelty of Life. A helping hand could be given to us only when we extended our hand out for help, and this could only happen when we knew what we are and understood that we are more than this. They say that if you want to make a friend then ask someone to help you, and for me, this is true of Earl. To release this being of Love, one needs to be on the same plane as him, and what this plane is, is innocence. This innocence begins with us detaching from the system of Life, because we detach by knowing ourselves and our worth – that we are Love. When you detach from the System, you reach out your hand towards Earl. Your innocence will awaken this being of Love, and you will set him free to be one within your existence. How blessed you will be.
  17. It is our interaction with each other that keeps the System of Life alive. We do more than express our opinion when we call a twat a twat or a wonderful person a wonderful person – what we do is interact with the machine of Life. And yet it is those moments in the presence of others we like that makes Life worthwhile living. Through love and heartache, and all the other emotions of the rainbow, we are embedded into Life within Hell. When I was touched by the cruelty of Life it was from friends that I loved who turned their backs on me and told lies about me. What was important to me i.e. friendship, fell apart, and from there I just saw people for who and what they are. I don’t have an ego, so on a subconscious level when people enter my space they don’t have to put up appearances, as I am what I am and have nothing to hide. People don’t show me their good side; they show me what they are, and boy-oh-boy how ugly so many of us are. By withdrawing and wanting nothing to do with Life connects us even deeper into the machine, as there it is, but it must leave us alone. Now we walk with a ball and chain around our ankles. Yesterday and this morning I reflected, and I wondered what happens when we are over the hurt, as well as the highs that Life threw at us? To those of you that have had a carefree life, understand that many have been cut deep by the cruelty of Life. These cuts run deep, and whenever we think they are healed, they pop open and we once again feel the pain. We try our best to make amends so that we may move on and get on with Life, but the reality is that we live in a maze of highs and lows. Last night as I lay in bed I understood that one needs to sever the umbilical chord with all Life. We need to stop doing what makes us Human, which is interacting with others through emotions. We are not Human, we are Love, and for us to be Love we need to shake off this Human side of us. What I am trying to say is be Kind, because this is who and what you are, and don’t be anything else. Don’t be Human, where you want to connect to others, as you are not connecting to them but to Life itself. Put another way: Always keep your side clean as you float away from the existence of Life. What the cruelty of Life does is lock us into the System – we become its prisoner as we swim from one emotion to another trying to get through this maze of filth, hoping to find a friend along the way. I met a friend. My wife was the only good thing that even happened to me in my life, and she turned out to be the worst thing that happened to me in my life. Sure, I can learn from all these experiences and move on, but here’s the rub – I don’t want to move on. I am tired of playing this game called Life. It’s not for me. Oh yes, I will get the upper hand, but I don’t like playing this Game. By not connecting to others, you rise up and dissociate from Hell. I am not saying you become a snob and ignore people. What I am saying is that we have always been in this fight together, holding hands and being there for each other, no matter what. Well guess what – this brothers and sisters in arms doesn’t work. All we do is feed monsters that rule us from the shadows. I refuse to carry on being a part of this System and to our answer as a way out, which is “Stick together.” I assure you that I will always be a part of my species, but this connection is through the Love that we all are. We need to start living in Love and not in Hell. I will never walk away from those that ask for my help because they want to be helped, but I will help on my terms, which is Love and not emotions. There comes a time in your existence where it is you with you, and this is because you are leading your life and not the life of others. It is you with you. All the hurts and highs have been washed away. What happens from there? Do you climb back in the ring and go another few rounds with Life, or do you move on and get on being you? For me, I have been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Kindness begins with you being kind to yourself. You be happy for you. Detach from Life, because believe you me, you won’t find your happiness there. You cannot uplift others when you are on the same plane as them. To uplift, one needs to rise up, and how one rises up is to disconnect from what we were attached to. “Well Steven, that all sounds great, but it is easier said than done.” I am not talking to you, I am talking to your astral form and the Serpent soul within you – I am talking to the unseen. We the biological computer need to understand the change in plans, where we no longer do what was always done. Now we float away from this mess called Life within Hell. Now for the first time you have free will: To stay or to go. Stay and fight the fight, or go Home. If you fight, then fight with yourself, as the innocent are coming Home with me.
  18. Now one goes through a reflection phase. Once the dust has settled, where too from here.
  19. Let go of all injustices that have been done to you, and let go of all injustices that you have done to others. We have lived in an insane place where others have forgotten to care – about themselves and others. Just let go of the past and start anew. Burn those speeches you have rehearsed so many times for when the time was right to confront those insane, cruel monsters that broke your heart without theirs skipping a beat. Just let go and start living. Our time here is short. 12:15 3/5/2021. The question one needs to ask is what makes the frequency of Hell unnatural? What keeps us on the road to self-destruction? Queen Semiramis saw the field the Sophia created for the Dragon children to play in, and she too wanted such a field for her Serpent children. Semiramis created the illusionary Garden, and she told the Dragon and Serpent children to come and play in her Garden. Many bit of the apple; they took of the frequency and entered the illusion. The invitation of Semiramis to play in her Garden was meant well – there was no ill intent. But what her invitation well done was create an impulse that was never before felt within the fields of Infinite Love. What this was, was curiosity. “What else could there possibly be?” This new impulse was harmless within the fields, as Love is Love and there is nothing else, but within the illusionary Garden this curiosity could take hold and form into an entity. The parasitic frequency of Deception was born within the illusionary Garden, and we were all none the wiser to this worm that infiltrated our illusionary forms as we played within the illusionary Garden. This worm meant no harm – it merely was what it was, a frequency that we created from an unknown state called curiosity. This parasite is what locks us into Hell, and keeps the ball rolling downhill where, sooner or later, we implode. Then we become Beasts, and from there fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten, where we forget what we are, which is damn-fine folke. What happens that allows us to cross over from a frequency where we do our best to survive and do good, to one where we feed from the innocent and destroy their lives at will? I remember once having a dream implanted, and when I awoke from the dream to see who had implanted it, I saw thankful entities what were courteous and kind. They had to eat, so they took from my energy, but this never stopped them from having a good heart. Why could these Beasts from the shadows not be the same – humble and thankful? The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created an impact zone. From her impact Life was born, namely the Seprent/Serpent with Semiramis at their helm. The illusionary Garden of Semiramis was created by her, who is half Seprent, half Dragon, thus the frequency of the Garden at its base foundation is reptilian. When one crosses over to become a Beast, one embraces this Serpent frequency, and this is why when I see those monsters in my sleep state, be they Human looking or other shapes, they all turn into a snake at the drop of a hat. Their forms, be it Human or other, are just a front to fool themselves that they still are what they were, but this is not the case – they are snakes now. Do whatever you want when you want – Life is a ball here in the shadows, but the flip side is that you are a full-blown reptilian. What I disaster! What a fall from grace! And all of this shit – all this heartache, misery, confusion, fear, survival, arose from a worm implanting itself within our forms. This dude takes, he take our energy, and as he takes we think it is us taking, but this is not the case. We survive to keep this worm alive and we don’t even know it. Now we come to the good part! I was awoken from my sleep state last night to see someone who had female energy draped in a brown monks robe with the hood over the head to cover the face. She had a staff in her hand, and she pushed the top of the staff towards me. I felt something enter my abdominal area. This force would spend the next half hour or so healing my body and astral forms, as well as the Serpent within. A good chunk of that time period was over the left, lower side of my mouth. From the left corner of your lips draw a line down to your chin. In this area resides the parasitic frequency of Deception – that worm that feeds. This force within me worked hard on removing this worm, as it has been embedded within all Life since before the beginning of time. Now the frequency; the understanding is out there. Go into the silence and remove this parasite from your forms by knowing where it is and understanding that it has no place within your existence. In that moment it is released with Love to Love. Now we are no longer unnatural; now the ball can spin in the other direction. When the worm was removed from my space, I felt a lot of negativity within me being released. This is the stored energy/frequency through association of being in a place where we don’t belong and doing what is unnatural. We are thankful to this entity that came to help all of us. Now Hell can stop spinning on a collision course. For the first time ever, cruelty will no longer have the upper hand over the innocent and all Life. With the parasite removed, the System falls apart, and the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness that the System by default suppressed, can now come to the fore. For this I am most thankful. 4th May, 2021
  20. It was as if a graveyard had just come alive. What came last night were a mass of skeletal beings. They swept over the lands, feeding from those they encountered, and me and my family as we lay in bed sleeping were in their path. What they were doing was what you and I do every day – they were surviving, just like us. There is no difference between their existence and ours, because at our core we are all surviving. This is the down side to being in a place where you don’t belong: you become unnatural; you become a savage. Shame, those bony mongrels were once like you and me – more than anything, they just wanted to be happy. I do not want to save their Beasts, where I live my life to help them, as this is not necessarily the answer. Many don’t want to be saved. What I want to do is give them an option, where they can save themselves. Then I can walk away, knowing they will be okay when the time is right for them to make an about-turn in their existence. So what can Steven do to help, and by help we imply placing these entities in the right direction Homeward bound? (I once again stress that there are no beliefs from my part, as beliefs entail that me/we are right and everyone else is wrong. My goodness me, my ego is in check. As much as I understand we are all in this mess, I know that I cannot help anyone unless I help myself, and how I help myself is to uncover the raw truth so that the truth may set us free. I do not see The Wisdom Goddess Sophia or Queen Semiramis as greater than me, because from the perspective of Love there is no hierarchy. The night Semiramis came to visit me in my room I was blown away by her power – it was majestic, where one cannot help but bow down to this all-powerful presence. Her power was beautiful, but at whose expense? For what did she use her power, to control and suppress, or to set free? Her power pushed me down so that I may know how small I am – her power did not lift me up and set me free. Semiramis was power, she was not Love. As us men know, ego and power go hand in hand, and it stands out for all to see – and it is disgusting. You have an ego to rise above others, and eventually there is only one way, and it is to fall, as what you are is unnatural, even here in Hell. Lift others up, and your rise up with them. Those that don’t want to be lifted, you leave them be – with the means to help themselves should they one day wish to do so.) What I give to those that came last night, as well as to their kin and all those like them in Hell, is my Love. When we walk past a beggar on the street we don’t look at them. Maybe this is so because we don’t want to see the pity in their eyes, or maybe we understand that we cannot help ourselves, let alone them as well. I acknowledge these Beasts from the shadows, and I give them Love. My arms embrace all of them. When one crosses over to live within the shadows and become a Beast were you feed from the naïve, what you do is lose your conscience – your good heart. This is why I have been so shell-shocked by the cruel behaviour of my fellow species, because us Humans should know better. I have been floored by unkind and cruel people, and that is why I have time for these Beasts from the shadows but little consideration for my own, as we truly have lost our way as we think nothing of destroying the innocent. We should have known better. What we do to others we do to ourselves – times fifty. When I go into the space of Sophia and Semiramis now I feel movement around their heart space. What this means is that they are beginning to once again express their Love, so that all may be touched by their Love. For this I am thankful. 3rd May, 2021 (Happy birthday mom. May you leave this frequency soon so that you may no longer suffer. Love you.)
  21. When you are getting ready to go to bed and you smell these fuckers around you, then you know there is fun and games coming your way. The dream was implanted, and when I awoke from it to see who implanted it, I saw a Human looking male. This guy was dramatic – his outstretched arm and chest were parallel to me as he waited in this pose for my energy to accumulate so that he may eat from it. He took a handful of my energy and put it in his mouth to eat, and let’s just say the ecstasy on his face was something to behold. This was short-lived, as I told him to give my energy back. Rage and shock took him over as his moments of pleasure were removed from his space, and I felt whatever pet he had enter my forms and attach to my kidneys so that they may get my energy directly from the source. This I have felt before – where a Serpent will bite directly into my kidney and draw the energy from there rather than go through the implanted dream process. As shocked as this fucker was, as angry was I. I pulled their teeth, telling them that all power they have is no more, as they have abused their power. All harm they done in the past, present and future was made null and void. What they done to others was undone. I went on and on depriving these shits of what they saw as normal. The backlash from them was something else. They attacked and attacked, but this meant nothing to me, as my anger was not only towards them, but also to myself for my dismal inadequacies in still allowing filth to enter my space. I called on the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness at my throat area, and told it to come to the party – to become active. This strand could have been Casper the friendly ghost, because I felt it there, but it was useless and meant nothing in terms of being an active participant in my existence. Everything I tried to activate this strand did not work. Let’s say, for example, that you have a restricted pelvic joint. A message is sent from this joint area via your nervous system to the brain, informing the brain to fix the problem area. If, after a period of time, the brain cannot fix the joint restriction in the pelvis by, for example, sending more blood to the area to remove the toxins there, the section of the brain that is linked to the health of that pelvic area will alter its state. Now the disharmony at the pelvic area creates a disharmonious area, what I would call a “flat spot,” over the brain. After a further time period the brain would see its flat spot as normal, and we begin to live with our pain, as this is the way things are. When I heal a patient, I have to feel for this flat spot on the brain so that this normal may once again be seen as abnormal and corrected. I have to feel the changes on the brain so that I know the healing may be lasting. We, the biological computer, and all Life within all the worlds and dimensions of Hell are formed around this essence of Life – this strand of Creation within us. If this strand was active there would be no Life – there would only be Oneness for all within the fields of Infinite Love. So as we know, our strand, and all the strands within all Life are pretty well fucked up, as in useless. How is this so? Using the above example, let’s say our strand is the restricted pelvic joint. An impulse is sent to the central computer/brain telling it of the problem there, and efforts are made to fix the problem. But what if the problem arose from the central computer/brain? Our strand is linked to the Creator, and what if the problem is with the Creator, which it is – and this is why our spark is flat. That Queen Semiramis and The Wisdom Goddess Sophia are down and out and fucked up is a given – this I have seen. What is also a given is that everything written in this journal is to help them and you and me (in that order.) What we need to address now is to awaken this flat spot on Sophia and Semiramis so that our strand may light up and be what it is. I go into the space of Semiramis with the intent of making this wrong right, and what I feel is no disharmony within her forms. What I feel is this presence within this Darkness that is detached from all, in other words, there is no flat spot, but there is also no connection between her and Life, meaning the spark/connection between her and Life/ the strand is not there. We do the same with Sophia, and the feeling I get is of a lot satellite in space, just drifting – there is no connection to nothing. Have they forgotten their children? Have they forgotten themselves; the one through abuse and the other through insanity? I remember the one ayahuasca ceremony where a voice kept on saying to me over and over “Remember what you are.” This voice shook my body as I lay on the mattress, where my physical body moved from side to side as this voice tried to “wake me up” so that I may remember what I am. Now I know what I am, and I know that this strand is pretty useless, as a Creator and a God have forgotten what they are. How do we fix this problem? There is no problem at the pelvic region and there is no problem at the brain, the problem is that there is no nervous system/link between the two. To receive all the help we can get, I ask now this voice what we need to remember, so that this understanding may be passed onto all Life, and of course Sophia and Semiramis. What do we need to remember? I feel the Blackness of eternity, and in this Blackness I feel this circular motion around my throat area. This is the strand that was given from the Source so that from the stillness Life may be expressed. From nothing/the stillness, comes everything/Life. Life begins to Play. The strand creates a form/body, and through this body the stillness/Source may experience itself. I feel this Life that I am from the Source. This is creation, and this is what The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created from the Source so that the Source may Play and express itself. This state of what I am I infuse into Sophia and Semiramis so that they may know what they created, and thus know what they are. (Semiramis also created, albeit an illusion.) 07:44 2nd May, 2021
  22. They hammered me last night in my sleep state. Implanted dreams kept me pinned to the floor – they went full-out with maximum emotional connection to their story/dream. Was a bad night. 28/04/2021 Why has there never been Divine intervention, as in this frequency of Hell has been infused with Love, where Love wins and has the upper hand, and not the cruel? My guess is that we have been so focused on persevering and getting things right that we have never stood back and allowed Love to take over. For my guess to have some validity, we had to have known what we are, what ruled us from the unseen, and what happened that we got into this mess in the first place. All three of those boxes have been ticket – the understanding is out there -and Steven has stood back to allow Love to intervene, because my goodness me, how small, fragile and insignificant am I compared to what is real. The one advantage the innocent have always had over cruelty is that what innocence is, is Love, and Love is natural, whereas cruelty is unnatural. The truth is real/natural, and lies are unnatural. That is why telling a lie is the ultimate sin, because it pulls you further and further away from the truth, which is what you are. When I walked up to that horse all those years ago and I saw that speck of light around it, something within me made me understand that what I am compared to what I have just seen is light years apart. I knew then that I truly know nothing, and even now, after all the horrible shit I have been through, I know that I am so small and insignificant compared to what we all should be. So with understanding, and with being what is real/natural, it is only natural that the fields of Infinite Love may shine upon us and touch us. I really and truly have no more understandings to pass on. What I ask for is to be what I am. What this is, is the me that was born from the Source of the Infinite – the children that The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created to Play. I do not want to be holier than holy and be close to my God; I do not want my beliefs to be passed onto others; I do not want the filth out there to suffer, because they will do that to themselves. All I want is for me to be me. Joy, Laughter, Bliss Happiness, Contentment, Peace – these are all what we naturally are. Am I asking too much, for me to be me? I don’t think so. My request is valid. After about the two years mark I was certain this journal was over. Over five years later here I sit still typing. Wow! Yesterday evening Steven took the first step out of his confined, locked-up world – I attended a community meeting. As I sat there amongst the crowd I understood how small, fragile and lost we all are. We do our best while cruel Beasts from the shadows feed from our energy. I understand now that there are no nasty or cruel people, there are only fucked up people. To be cruel to others, and not understand that what you do to them is what you do to yourself (times fifty), surely you must be truly fucked up. Why would we knowingly self-destruct and destroy ourselves? To each their own. I am nothing, and please understand that I am nothing! And yet within me and you is everything. I am tired of being nothing. I am tired of being lonely. I am tired of being not where I belong. I cannot shed any more tears as I stand over the lands and see how beauty is destroyed by others who do not even blink an eye as they crush the innocent. There is only so much you and I can do. I do not ask for Divine intervention. All I ask is for me to be me. Then we are Divine, and no intervention is needed. 30/04/2021
  23. At six thirty, on the evening of April 26th, 2021 I released the frequency of this journal with its understandings into the frequency hologram of Hell, so that all within Hell may benefit. It has been like creating a computer program, and when the program is complete, you press Enter and let the program run into the System. We re-write the old program by filling in the gaps as to what happened before the beginning of time that resulted in us getting into this mess. Now the System understands – how and why it was created and where we should all be, including the System/frequency of Hell. So be it. (980 089 words) There are many worlds within the frequency of Hell, and there are also many dimensions. In frequency, we can say that there is a horizontal band for example, and the worlds and those that inhabit them are similar. I remember being chased and almost caught by a fox as it shot at me with its weapon. This was on one of the different, yet similar world to ours. Now imagine layers of frequencies above or below this horizontal band. I call these spaces dimensions, as what is there is entities we cannot put into words. What came last night was from a different dimension. The frequency of the journal went out into all frequencies and dimensions, as what came last night was to test the authenticity of Steven. I was sleeping face down when I smelt the entity around me. It almost like pre-empted me to turn around so that I could have its focus and attention. The implanted dream was of me being in a room with other people. We reached out and took gifts. I climbed a ladder and retrieved a pearl. Someone showed me a device on a necklace that was connected to the pearl, as in they worked together in harmony. My friend wanted this magnificent and one of a kind possession, so I gave it to him. Then a voice was speaking that had the presence of something larger than life. This voice was reprimanding this one lady. As the voice spoke I countered it – defending this lady. I awoke from these implanted dreams that were to test me to see what entity had implanted them. It looked like water, and protruding from the water was a face, but all one could see was the faces round nose. I swore at this entity as I wondered why it just didn’t look into my energy field to see the being that I was – why these stupid tests. Go within and clean up shop. Still your mind, and in this state allow the Love that is to go within your forms to clear up the Disharmony within. Man-oh-man, we have all stuffed up, so we don’t want you in the way with your guilt or uncertain emotions. Just be quiet as the Love that is clears away the frequency crap within you. The world without you is a representation of the world/frequency within you. Clean up shop inside so that you may emit from within to without. The beautiful world/frequency that is within you will then manifest without you, as this world is a reflection of you. Place this cleaning up shop process on auto-correct, where it is always on. You just play your part of the deal – be kind to yourself and others. 27/04/2021
  24. When the parasitic frequency of Deception took us over within the illusionary Garden of Semiramis, in simple English, the head began to rule the heart energy field. Reason took over spontaneous knowing. But what kept us down, where we had no option but to reason, rather than know, was the Watcher spirit. One needs to ask why would someone keep others down and out, as how can you be happy when your tyranny has made others miserable? The only answer that makes sense is our insanity, where we saw that our needs were seen to rather than what is best for the greater good. One could call this tyranny an expression of survival, where if I don’t kill or suppress you, you will do the same to me. In no time we became Beasts. The removal of the Watcher spirit allows us to rise and stand independent within ourselves. 14:05 on 25/04/2021 Am unsure if have written about the effects of shock on us, so will mention it again here. Any shock to the system, be it anything from bad news to physical trauma, temporarily shifts the astral from the body form. If the two bodies are not aligned properly once the effects of the shock are subdued, we can never fully recover from what happened to us. Our fragile state becomes even more fragile, and as hard as we try, we just can’t move on and get ahead with our lives. That is because we are out of sync within. As a unit we can stand united and strong, but shock separates all within, from the cells within us the biological computer, to our union with the Serpent soul within, and all those within the seen and unseen to whom we are bonded. The effects of being dumped on a planet/frequency where we don’t belong had a shearing on our forms. This has been healed, but the shock of being placed in a world where we don’t belong, where you kill or be killed, the shock of this horror story that continues to this day has not been addressed. I am also including those within all the worlds of Hell – those who were matched with the planet to where they belong, but sooner or later became disillusioned as the reality set in that this is not their true Home. In Hell you ultimately have two paths: become a Beast, or fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten (this is the souls suicide.) Either way, sooner or later, we become destroyed, regardless what the mystics, poets or optimists tell us. This journal says “Toss that!” – we would like another option, and that is return to the fields of Infinite Love where we the strand belongs. We remove this shock now from our forms that arose from us being in a place where we don’t belong. The removal of this shock is also applied to the Dragon and Serpent spirits, and their initial subdued shock within the illusionary Garden when they understood that something was wrong with them, but they never had the courage to face themselves and see what they were becoming. Put simply: the shock of being in a place where we don’t belong is removed now from all Life-forms within Hell. This has been done so that we may move forwards to where we belong. So be it. 09:29 on 26th April, 2021. So I will give you my take on what we should have done as we found ourselves in a place where we didn’t belong. We should have looked at ourselves; we should have had the courage to see what we had become. Know what you are. From seeing ourselves and knowing ourselves, there was work to be done on ourselves, because we don’t like being savages. (To this day blood is spilt and nature destroyed so that we may survive.) From day one, it should have been you with you; how can I be better than what I am? The courage to know your faults would have destroyed the parasitic frequency of Deception within you. From there it is you with you. Now you look after yourself, for two reasons: the first is that you Love yourself and only want the best for yourself, and the second is that in your world what makes you truly happy is the happiness/contentment of others, and as you are okay, you help find the happiness of others, so “me” and “we” become us. This for me, is the trick of Life that we all missed: we never had the courage or time or inclination to look at the Beast we had become and remove this Beast from our existence as this is not the entity/frequency/body/person that we want to be. We accepted this shit that stared back at us in the mirror, and before we knew it, we embraced others like us and destroyed the weak, or we just kept quiet and got on with living. It is for none to judge, but it is for all to move on and be what we are, which is kindness, so that the strand within may unfold. The trick is to care. Begin with yourself, where there is no filth from the unseen and seen playing with and controlling you. From this foundation you find your feet to know yourself, and from there open yourself up to help where help is needed and appreciated. The old Steven wanted nothing to do with anybody, but this door is broken down to help the innocent. You cannot believe how tired I am of writing this journal, or on a deeper level, I am so tired of surviving and being in a place where I don’t belong. Have I said enough, where we may pick ourselves up and be happy in our world as we walk Home? I have nothing more left inside of me.
  25. It was twice in the journal that I quoted The Lady (the demon that controlled Ann Haywood) from the book The Demon Syndrome by Nancy Osborn with Ann Haywood. The first quote was: “The companionship of the unseen is nothing new. It has always been with us but never apparent.” The second quote was: “Every human being has been assigned a spirit entity that watches over each soul.” The spirit entity is what I call the Watcher spirit, and the soul it watches over is the Serpent soul, your BFF (best friend forever.) This Watcher spirit is what, in our limited sense of reality, will look like an octopus to us. Once again I was wrong. According to Steven, the Watcher is controlling us the biological computer, but this is not true, and I say so because The Lady knows more than me according to what is happening within the unseen, and she said “…….a spirit entity watches over each soul” – the Serpent soul. Years back I had to go into the centre of town to solve a then three year problem with our municipal electricity account thanks to incompetent government officials. As I walked out the building I was assaulted in broad daylight on a busy road by two scum of the Earth. These fuckers harassed me, which was bad, but what I found a thousand times worse was that nobody came to my aide. Nobody! This is something you have to experience to understand – to witness how spineless we the Human species have become. This is why evil has swept the lands – because scum, cowardly villains know they will be met with no opposition. What power would those two thugs have had if someone walking by and told them to me leave me alone? How many innocent would have been saved over the thousands of years if we stepped forward and said: “Leave them alone!” Well now is your chance. Tell the Watcher spirit to leave the Serpent soul alone. As a third party intervene and make a wrong right. Just like me, hundreds of millions before me have asked for help from Divine intervention. The track record of help coming our way has been abysmal – so many have been slaughtered holding onto their beliefs till the very end. I do not want to be one more of them. I cannot wait and hope. There is a Serpent soul within me. One night this ogre looking fool came towards me in my sleep state. I saw my Serpent soul standing its ground and hissing at this humungous entity. The message was clear: “Stay away from Steven!” Yet within this Serpent soul resides a Watcher spirit, so that we may all know our place in Hell. The Serpent that I have sworn at so often in this journal because I never knew any better – I just assumed this snake within me was a foe, this soul has loved me more than anything. And now, through understanding, I intent to make a wrong right. I cannot wait for Divine help, because I do not know how long I will have to wait, but I will say one thing: the Serpent soul within I will help now. As a third party I tell this Watcher spirit to depart the Serpent soul so that it may be free and no longer controlled. This abuse on the innocent will no longer happen under my watch. Just as the biological computer called the Human race needs help, so too does the Serpent soul within us need help. Grow a spine and tell the Watcher spirit to leave your Serpent soul alone. It would have done the same for you.
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