steven geldenhuys

The spirit looks within, and what we mean by this, is the spirit does not look outwards and give attention to the illusionary realm; rather it looks within towards the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness. It’s like a clam shell closing, and we now exist within the clam shell rather than looking at what is without. Within is Consciousness which is real, and without is the illusion. All we are offering is an altered state of awareness. Alter what you the spirit have always done in order to get a different outcome. Last night in my sleep state my Third Eye opened to see this strange looking animal who positioned itself right against my wife’s head. It had this smile on its face – it was the size of a squirrel and was unknown to our world. As I looked at this animal I got x-ray vision where I could look inside this animals body – it was like I was taking MRI images. What I was shown was this worm going up inside this animals brain area, and when I saw this worm, I also felt it, and a few seconds later felt how it was no more. Your spirit goes within and stays within. Thoughts may appear now and then, but just allow them to pass as you understand this is the rude intrusion from the illusionary realm. The silence within of where the spirit is, is real in terms of this is what the spirit was manufactured to be. From this state your spirit feels and understands the parasitic frequency of Deception in its midst. The spirit releases this worm with Love to Love, and in the moment this parasite that created a want within us is no more. To be free, this worm has to be free from us and we free from it. Nothing was ever going to change in the illusion that is without unless we cleaned up shop within, meaning going within allows us to see this worm and release it from our forms by understanding it is not meant to be, and most importantly, going within allows us to see the strand/Consciousness of what is real so that this strand with its golden glow may show us what Home looks like so that we the spirit and this strand may return to where we belong. What has just been said above was done to those spirits around me last night during my sleep state. I felt the parasite within them, where in that moment they felt and understood what pulled us all away from the fields of Infinite Love as we looked towards the wants and desires of the mirage we call the Illusion. With the worm gone, may your spirit find peace, where it knows that it is, and from there may it look towards the golden strand to guide it to be one with the Infinite. Over the last few days I feel the Serpent soul within me as it moves around its canal within the presence of the spirit. May this child of God be released from the womb of the spirit, and may it return to the Serpent spirit from which it was cloned. Be at peace and at Home my beautiful friend. it has been one helluva ride – an existence with one big question mark always staring us in the face, asking “what went wrong that we found ourselves in this awful place?” We understand, so the question mark is no more. May there be no more question marks. May we all start going Home.

We were born/created/manufactured to house the Serpent/Kundalini within. What this means, is there is no me; there is only a you, as in how are you the Serpent within. We the spirit were the sphere to house the “child”/kin of God/Queen Semiramis. And that is basically it. This was the role of our spirit – this is what we are. The body form was created to keep the spirit in an endless loop, where the spirit enters the “physical” – which is an illusion within an illusion – so that Life-lessons may be learnt on our road towards perfection where we are one with our God of Love. This bullshit story was to trap the spirit so that a power source may be created to keep the illusion and those Beasts that dwell therein alive as it and they continue their plummet to The Nothingness of the Forgotten – this place where we forget ourselves and drift in limbo. I have seen this place and those that drift there, and let’s just say that it is sad/pathetic beyond. There is a valid question through all of this that needs to be addressed, and that is “What about me?” Surely we the spirit are entitled to our happiness, where our wants and needs are bestowed upon us so that we may be at peace? Peace where? – Within an illusion that is not real? The only peace the spirit can ever attain is to be what it is, and how this is done is by the spirit knowing what it is. We the spirit were created to house Gods child within. That’s it! What this means is there is no me or you – there is only the Serpent/Kundalini within. We the spirit are nothing, and yet we are everything, as we were blessed with the task of looking after Gods precious cargo. When I say that God/Queen Semiramis asked the cosmic geneticists to create our spirits to house her Serpent children, these Serpents are the kin of Semiramis – they were created, as she was, through the impact of the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia from her place within the Infinite. It is like you staying in your house and you go outside now and then to attend to your vegetable garden. The two places are separate from each other, and so too there was a place within the Infinite that Sophia dwelled, and there was a place where she created the Dragon spirits so they may play within a field of the Infinite. Sophia exceeded the space of her home and fell in a playground within the Infinite. Her impact zone created the Serpent spirits, and there was nothing wrong with this. Semiramis (half Dragon, half Serpent) saw what Sophia had created for the Dragon spirits, and she too created a beautiful playground, but as Semiramis was not born from the Infinite, but was rather formed from the impact of Sophia’s fall, the playground/Garden of Semiramis was illusionary, as in not one with the Infinite. And this also was okay. It was the curiosity of the Dragon and newly formed Serpent spirits that stuffed everything up as they wondered what else was in this illusionary bubble that was not already in the Infinite, as never before was such an illusion created, as never before had a Creator fallen to produce Life from the impact zone of their fall. This curiosity took of a frequency within the illusionary Garden, with those within the Garden not aware of this parasitic frequency of Deception literally within them. It was never the Snake that was the nemesis of the Garden, rather a worm, and this worm meant no harm – it merely took as this is what it was. This produced a take and want within the illusion, and let’s just say that the Devil was born. It was never some outside bad force – it was always within us, where we battled between our good hearts and a want within. Let’s not talk in circles, but rather come back to what is important, which is “what about me?” How do we be happy; how do we have everlasting peace? This is a valid question and not a selfish one, because unless we are happy the illusion will continue to remain intact and fall. You are happy when you are being you. Go back to basics, where we remove the curtains of the shadows to see what is. Know what you are, and what you are is a sphere of Love that was formed by the will of Semiramis/Gods Love to house her precious children/kin. That is what it means to be in the silence – where you do and say nothing, where you merely be this Love/vessel that God asked the cosmic geneticists to create. Sounds great, but all I want is to be loved and looked after by something bigger than me that Loves me unconditionally. I want to put down my bag, go and lie on a bed and sleep, knowing that when I wake up all will be okay and as it should be. How that is done is for the spirit to look within, and not without towards the illusionary realm. Go within and just be this Love that you were created to be. In this stillness of the silence you lose your name and identity, and you return to this sphere of Love. But this is also not you, as this spirit that you are was manufactured within the illusion. Within you the sphere spirit of Love is a strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness that arose from the Infinite. Look to this strand, and what you see you are. In that moment you the spirit are Home within the Infinite as this strand/Consciousness has remembered what it is. This was the ultimate disaster within the illusion – that this Consciousness came to forget what it was. So what about us the illusionary body form? Honestly I don’t know. All we truly want is to be loved and looked after by something bigger than us that Loves us unconditionally, where we know that no matter what, we will be okay, where we have peace and joy and happiness. Our nature is to smile rather than frown. Too this task to fulfill our peace and happiness of our body form, look to your spirit and the strand within the spirit. It is to these two forms that this journal was written so they may know what they are. Their freedom from the illusion will ensure your freedom.

I remember partaking in an ayahausca ceremony, where as I lay on the ceremony halls floor with the frequency of the Teacher Plant coursing through me, I heard a voice that said “remember who you are.” This statement would be repeated over and over to me, and to highlight the importance of what was said, those that spoke to me began to shake me so that I would “wake up” and remember what I am. My physical body shook from side to side as I lay in my trance state as someone tried to wake me up so that I may remember what I am. Who or what was speaking to me was not talking to my spirit, but rather to the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness located at our throat area. It look me a long time to figure that one out – what a crap journey it has been. This morning – around mid-morning – I felt the change within the strand within all Life within the illusion. This strand/Consciousness that through our limited vision looks like a speck of light about 2mm in length – this silver speck became infused with the Golden Glow that the Infinite bestowed upon us before the beginning of time so that we may remember what we are. We passed on our Glow to Semiramis as she falsely associated herself with this presence in her insane state where she seeked dominance over all. This Glow has been returned to Consciousness so that it may remember what it is – which is the essence from the Source of the Infinite. 2:34 PM 8th October, 2022 Let’s talk about the physical God of this reality of ours – that one thing we cannot do without; that something we strive to always have and be a part of; the one ingredient that is necessary for our survival, where without it we wither away and die. If people talk to me about a God, my remark to them is there is only one tangible God in our reality, and that is money. I call it God because it is universally needed by all, where we cannot do and live without it. When you witness what others will do to be close to this God, you will understand that this God is the epitome of all that is rotten in the Human species. Our reverence to this God makes us blind to all that is Good within us, where we overlook kindness, compassion and consideration to another so that we may swim in the bountiful of this dear God that we have come to love so much. Now we have a partner in our twisted ways, where the more we have of our God, the happier we are. Our cups need to always runneth over with this God that we can physically touch and see, and to so many this is our focus throughout our existence, making sure this God is always a part of our existence. We do everything, first and foremost for this God, through which we define ourselves, as our success and happiness is determined by how big a part our God is in our lives. And of course, as twisted and absurd the above sounds, there is a harsh reality and sad truth that without money we cannot survive. In the twisted, cruel world of the illusion money robbed us of our empathy to all life, where we lowered ourselves to a state far worse than the Beasts that controlled us from the shadows of the illusion. I have met the worst of the worst in the unseen realms, but none have come even close to the despicable nature of my fellow Human beings, and I say this because we should have known better. What others done to us and those we love we should never have done to another as we know how it feels to be touched by the cruelty of Life. To shame or destroy the life of another for the sake of wealth is beyond comprehensible, and yet we hold onto this God as we let go of all that makes us Good and Beautiful. This is how low we have fallen my friends, and that is why we are ruled by Beasts. We are below them because we are worse than them. It is understandable that I didn’t really have the time or interest for this God, as I saw it for what it was, but this perception of mine was immature and naïve, because there is another side to this God, what I call “the power of money” that uplifts others and makes their lives much easier. Money was never important to me, in the sense that it never floored me that I had only enough to throw in petrol in my car to be a dad-taxi to my children. Of course I was shameful every time I could not contribute to a grocery bill or the once a year holiday, but to me understanding Life was the driving force within me and not money. This is the child; the baby within Steven that never grew up to make sure that both money and understanding can live side by side, not as a necessity, but a natural progression. The writings of this journal are approaching the nine year mark, where over this time period my focus was understanding the cruelty of Life. I have always understood that money can be a buffer to the unpleasantness out there, but I also understood that there would come a time where all the money in the world could not protect us from what was coming our way, as this force is above money and the seen realms. As the illusion began to fall apart we would be hit with parts of shrapnel the size of planets that would have caused panic in the spirit realms that would have pushed many to insanity. This state would have touched us in the seen realms, where one day we would be okay, and the next our lives would be shattered. This I would never allow to happen to my loved ones, so I focused on finding a way out of this mess, where nothing else mattered to me. This was a mistake on my part. I should have focused on making money as well. Yes, making money takes time away from the journal, but I would have been happier if I had money, and this happiness would have uplifted me to write the journal in a state of happiness rather than despair. You see, not having money forced me to stay around insane Humans that had no consideration for those around them, including me and my family, and this was awful. Money would not have allowed this to happen, as I would have had a balanced life, and this I regret – where I was immature to not understand that I could have made money and written this journal. My naivety prevented balance in my life, where I went the unpleasant route instead of the uplifting one that balance brings to one’s life. In the world of the sane allow money to flow into your life. What this money does, is it allows options into your existence. Before you could only do this – now you can do this, this and this. Why am I saying all of this? – To allow the frequency of money into your life, so that it may uplift you and ultimately others. We do not dwell in our cave in the Himalayas with nothing but our loin cloth wrapped around us. We live in a reality that is consumed by materialism, so allow balance into your life. This balance involves nature, understanding and money. Ultimately, wealth will not bring happiness, but it is a building block to peace. How much money we need your sanity will tell you.

As I climbed the stairs to go and sleep in our bedroom last night I once again walked into the unseen – this place that I have come to understand during my sleep state over the last few years. What I saw as I fell asleep were these group of children that I knew. Then something within them Glowed/Lit up, and in that moment they were once again children of the Infinite. What the animals taught me was that within all there is a Love whose fountain is natural and real. We have forgotten this natural state that we all are – this real place that lies beyond the illusion. I thank my friends for reminding me what is real – to never stop looking until we are Home. That shift within the unseen has been made, where those there are naturally where they belong within the fields of Infinite Love. The doorway has been opened, and for this I am eternally grateful. When or how this state touches those within the seen realms is anyone’s guess, but happen it will.

The message to my spirit last night during my sleep state was that the spirit must not debate with others. At first glance one wonders what does one take from such a simple remark, but when you scratch the surface to reveal what lies underneath, what lies there is the foundation for our sanity that we are asked to let go of. The antidote to insanity is reason, where we say “Hold on; wait a minute; what’s going on here!,” and from there we reason with what we have just seen or heard to make sense of it. Now the debate is in full swing to counter the insanity so that we may have perspective to maintain our sanity. This is no longer allowed to happen – we are not allowed to reason; to debate. Sounds easy, yet it is excruciatingly difficult, and why this is so, is it means we walk away from all we have ever known, namely the insanity of the illusion. We walk away from our brothers and sisters and we leave them with the turmoil of their own psyche. We walk away because there is nothing more we can do for them – there is nothing more to say; nothing to debate about. When these moments present themselves to you, where you no longer debate to keep the scales of the illusion in equilibrium so that this illusionary realm doesn’t turn into an apocalypse – when these moments arrive you will understand the heaviness of heart in walking away from those that don’t quite get it and have no real intention to really try as well. You walk away knowing they will be that bug that hits the car windscreen and goes splat and there is nothing you can do about it, because it is their life and not yours, and you cannot live their life for them. “Well, we can be there for them.” For what? For them to pull you down with their ship! All we can do is send them our Love and let them know it is always there for them, but to debate; to talk, is something we can no longer do. What this is asking of us is to walk away from the illusion, and when push comes to shove, for many it is better the devil you know than the unknown. And that is why when the door began to open with the writings of this journal, where there is finally a way out of this mess, it was brothers and sisters within the unseen realm of the illusion that put back the layers that were peeled away to reveal the truth. It was my own kin that were willing to destroy me so that things may remain how they always have been because familiarity breeds contentment within them. And this no doubt must be an indicator of their own insanity within them, where they cannot see the shameful demise of those before them within the illusion – this same fate that will befall them if nothing gets done to make an about-turn before there is a collision from which they will never fully recover from. Walk away, and in doing so, may we be an example to those left behind, where they see what is normal and they may choose sanity over insanity. But be warned, this walking away will test your own sanity, because we are not walking away from Beasts, but rather from loved ones. May the Love of the Infinite guide them and protect them. May they never fall, as nobody deserves such a fate, as what awaits them is horrific.

Over the last few days when I sit on the couch, just to do nothing, I feel the DNA chromosomes of my dad come to the fore within me. In other words, in myself, I feel him. What I feel is a man who is irritated with all and sundry; a man who has no bond with another Human being –in short, a man who has no link with another, either because they cannot form an association with their fellow species or have no desire to do so. This is not me, as I understand that Life is about relationships – companionships; where we enjoy spending our time in the company of another. So last night during my sleep state I saw myself in what appeared to be a large, busy terminal of sorts. I saw my sister walking towards me, so I went another way to avoid her, and along this new path I saw my dad sitting at a table. I sat down with him to confront him about I don’t know really what, and of course I became emotional to the point where things almost became physical. Then I woke up from this incident and lay in bed wondering what the hell was that all about. My first assumption was that it was an implanted dream, as I knew something or somebody was pulling my strings, so I called forth Semiramis to sort out whatever the hell had just happened. Now, when I look back on the goings on during my sleep state, I understand that those in the spirit realm were cleaning up shop within this Steven. What defined me to a large extent, as in the chromosomal frequency of my parents when they produced me, was removed from my forms. To those of you that were blessed by having others in your life that uplifted you and only wished for the best for you, then blessed are you. In my eldest daughter I see my hard outer core, and I see the rough edges of a cousin who I have met maybe three times in my life, yet the similarities are unquestionable. All of this is the crap we have picked up from our lineage, and my experience is we pick up more of the bad than the good. My advice is open yourself up to have your shop cleaned out – this DNA lineage that makes up the mixed bag that we are. You are not this programming – you are Consciousness. For this state that you are to naturally come to the fore one needs to understand what you are not. You are not this body with its needs and wants. You are a spirit that was created/manufactured by the Love of a God to look after her Beautiful Serpent kin. Move towards this spirit of Love that had no identity or calling except to show your kind heart to this Serpent child within. How one achieves this state is to allow Consciousness to come to the fore, and how this is done is through the Love of Semiramis that returns the Glow from the Infinite so that Consciousness may remember what it is. We are returning to what we were when we were produced by Love, and along the way the Glow is once again bestowed to us from Queen Semiramis. Now blessed are we all.

The question one has to ask is where does the spirit belong, in other words, where is its Home? We were created/manufactured to look after the Serpent soul within – we were born to accomplish a task; we were not born into a Home. With our creation the illusionary Garden – which should have been a refuge for all that dwelled therein – this Garden fell in a catastrophic way, so any hope of what was there was no more. We the spirit do not have a Home. We were manufactured for a task, rather than been born into a safe-haven where we were looked after no matter what. As a group we should have sticked together, where I care about you and you care about me. This would have helped in the sense we would have not felt isolated and alone, but each of us pursued our own direction, and what was a sisterhood and brotherhood became no more. The reality of our uncertainty became known as anxiety, where to open the door and step out into the world each morning became a palpable task. “You can do this!” became our mantra each morning before we opened the garage door to drive out into the world to do what needed to be done to survive. Holding hands and being there for each other would have helped tremendously, but individually we never had the strength to look after ourselves, let alone another. We have no ship to climb onto because we have no coordinates of a location that we can call Home. Yes, we belong in the fields of Infinite Love and not in the illusion, but I would like to be realistic and live in this body and spirit forms carrying my Home with me – as in I am permanently Home. We need to be realistic by noting that peace can never be attained unless the grounding is within us that we are Home and belong. Let’s not look to the big picture right now, but rather to the reality of where we are. How do we get up each morning knowing we are Home, where we feel grounded and at peace in a place where we don’t belong? What makes sense to me, is to turn to the gift the Infinite bestowed upon us so that we may remember who and what we are. We are Consciousness – what I would call this speck of Light; this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness located at our throat area. We are this, and in being in this state we are Home, regardless which planet/frequency within the illusion we find ourselves in, but how do we become what we naturally are so that we may be Home? As said, look to the gift the Infinite sent to us. The Infinite sent a Glow; what looked like a golden light, for all to see what they are, where by seeing themselves they may know themselves. “That’s me! Okay, I understand, now I am me.” That simple understanding never worked, as Semiramis in her insane state stood behind the Glow so that all within the illusion may associate her with the Glow. Now she became the answer, where we would follow her out of this mess. The critical aspect to understand here, is when we saw the Glow, we understood that this is what we are, as in this is where we belong, but we bowed down to Semiramis, meaning we gave our power/understanding of the Glow to her so that she may lead the way. In the Infinite there is no hierarchy and sense of purpose, as everything is just as it is, and within the illusion in those early days we also understood this concept, but bowing down to Semiramis changed everything. This act of lowering our heads in reverence to another created what we would call a “God.” Something bigger than us would care for us and make sure we were always okay, and the reason for this is we gave away to Semiramis what the Glow bestowed upon us. The Infinite flatlines everything, where we are all equal, where dare I say it – we are all Gods. Within the Infinite are Creators that play with creation and produce because they can and because it is Beautiful, but we all return to the stillness of the silence of the Source of the Infinite – a state of bliss that words cannot describe. The way out of overcoming our anxiety of not having a Home to return to – remember, I am being realistic and talking about the current location of the spirit and body form – the way to feel at Home and at peace is to take back what the Glow gave to us that we passed onto Queen Semiramis. I would say that she passes this state back to us, and this can be done as she is no longer insane. This lady is super-potent and powerful, an so are you and I. Equate power to peace and you will understand what I am talking about. Expect to receive the presence of this Glow that was made available to all within the illusion. This Glow is still there, we just need a facilitator to pass it onto us as in our limited states we do not fully understand this concept. Open yourself to receive this gift from the Infinite so that we may remember what we are. This strand of Godness; this Consciousnes is within our midst, but we have forgotten what we are, thus cannot embrace this Consciousness and become it. I would say Consciousness has forgotten what it is – this speck of Light cannot remember what it is. By seeing the Glow it will see itself and everything will be as it should. For this to happen, the one that annexed the Glow had to return to her original state of Love. This has been done. Now she may sow these Seeds back to us. Expect to receive so that we may know what it feels like to be Home – to be at peace, where we are Conciousness and one with everything. The absence of this state has made me feel like a fish out of water – afraid of this illusionary place that once was a beautiful Garden. How does Semiramis restore peace to her Garden, so that those within may return to where they belong? – By returning the Glow to all. Her Garden was never meant to be a permanent fixture – it was just a place to go and play. What was a paradise turned to a nightmare by the presence of the parasite of Deception, but this is old news. Let’s just return to what is real, and the presence of the Glow is our stepping stone to accomplish this task.

Last night as I slept felt the acid/bitterness being drawn from my spirit and body form. Experienced the cornerstone of my fear, namely going to write an exam and didn’t study for it. This state is no longer within me. 28/09/22 When I closed my eyes to sleep last night I saw these Black people. They were more figurines, in that their body form structures were long and elongated. The first one I saw took his spear to my throat and intricately removed something from there. These were entities that do not need verbal communication, as their presence and actions are all that is needed to understand them. The word “Mighty” comes to mind. 29/09/2022 Last night went to bed asking the fair question: “What about me?” To stand back to see the big picture one has to selfless, where there can be no “me,” but rather a “we.” What touches you will touch me, and vice versa. We are in this together, so to understand the source of our dilemma one has to put aside our personal wants until the package is restored as it should. Only then can we pick up our small package and move on. What I write is a journal and not a book. It is not to put my point across to others; it is for me to understand this mess we were in. I could never rest until I understood, because when one understands one may move forwards from there. Now I understand – really I do. My job for the “we” has been done. Now it is about me, but it never stops with me. “Okay, I am now okay, now do what you done to me to them, them and them – to everyone that requires peace.” This morning as I was beginning to wake up was shown this image. It was of a car packed full of people in our garage about to be driven somewhere. There is nothing worse than being in a place where you don’t belong, and this is how I have felt for a long, long time. We have helped those that needed help, so that they may be in a position to help us. Now they can start showing us the goods. 30/09/22

I no longer feel the disharmony in those I heal and then remove it. What happens now, is the grace of God is placed within them. This is my God, and not the god of some book or preacher, as I met her when she was insane, and in understanding how she became to be in this state, the process may be reversed, and she may be what she was before everything went upside down in her illusionary Garden. This presence of a God of Love is out there. All you need to do is connect to it and you are in God’s hands. That we are once again feeling the presence of this God in her pure state is beyond what words can describe. I am forever thankful that we are no longer lost and alone.

We nicknamed the daughter of this couple we knew “I don’t want to” because her response to everything her mother asked of her was “I don’t want to.” This morning I feel like I Don’t Want To, because I don’t want to do anything. Over the last week or so have been working on this dog that was in a bad way. On Saturday I instinctively knew I was in the way of the healing process, meaning that this dog was in the hands of Divine intervention. This was a first for me, where I backed off as I knew this dog was in God’s hands. Got a message from the owners telling me Bubbles passed away in her sleep – she just stopped breathing as she lay on the bed sleeping. That this dog could pass on naturally without the humiliation on being injected by a chemical on a cold, stainless steel table confirmed to me that the Love of God shone down on this animal to take care of it. Now when I check on myself or others it is like the tap has been turned off, as in what I could do in the past is no more. Steven the healer is no more, and I feel this is so because there is no need for me as Divine intervention has shone within the illusion. Last night during my sleep state was awoken from the smell of these Beasts. Turned around to look who was there and saw this spirit kneeling on the floor next to my bed. I could not make out what they looked like as they wore this round hat. Behind this spirit, half hiding behind its back was its Serpent soul. The presence of this Serpent was not a favourable one, as in there was a toxic, hyper-excitability to it, meaning that it was almost within the state of complete insanity. This spirit was there to show this Serpent soul what should be. As for me, this Steven, I feel awful, as in there is nothing here for me. Last week was touched by the insanity of those around me, and I told my wife, and others, that the secret to Life is communication. Talk to others so that there may be no misunderstandings, but to the insane this natural law of communication is not present, as it would mean they would have to see themselves in the viewpoint from another, so like cowards they cannot face the truth from another. I told my wife that I need a few days to walk away from the insane of the illusion, and I was right, because after about three days there was no emotion felt towards the fools who feel they are always the victims of Life – always right; never wrong; never shameful for what their insanity shows for all to see. These narcissists are no longer around me, as in my spirit gives them no attention/energy. They are now on a different frequency to mine. So where too from here I don’t know. My job as a healer is done as the spirits within the illusion can now heal themselves, where they are connected to the Infinite that is within and without. I am awful at predictions, but what I feel will happen – and I say this because I see it happening around me – is that those within the illusion will start seeing themselves for what they are, meaning they will look in the Truth mirror and see what they have become. That bubble of Nastiness and I Am Invincible will burst when the Truth/Infinite makes its presence felt, making the frequency of the illusion that we have come to see as normal change to a state that we have not felt for a long time, namely an everlasting peace. Last week I felt so ashamed as I found myself in a corner that the injustice and insanity of Life pushed me into. I asked my wife for help, as in advice, and when she did not understand the seriousness of my request I told her that she can handle the fucking problem. May that be the last time I ever swear. My disgusting behaviour made me feel ashamed of myself as I was not big enough to understand that we are now in a position, after all this time, where we can pass our troubles over to Divine intervention and we will be helped, so I need to let go to this Love before I lose my sanity. This I have done, and I am thankful that after all this time the Infinite is revealing itself. Where too from here I don’t know. Is it too surreal that Life as we have come to know it will transform for the better? Do we just expect to be dropped down a notch, be it through a World War or famine or some other catastrophic event? Is it impossible that we rather go the other way, where we are uplifted to where we belong and naturally are what we should be? This has never happened before, so why should it happen now? The other night in my sleep state I saw this group of Watcher spirits fly off away from me – I saw them in the far off distance. I believe that these all-powerful entities are tired of being in control. They want peace, just like the majority of us want. But nothing was ever going to change unless we understood who and what we are, and what happened before the beginning of time that we all got into this mess. Through understanding, a picture may be made of what should be, and it is to this picture – what should naturally be – that all will return. This is happening, and I say so because I see those from the shadows of the spirit realm who are drawn to this understanding of what should naturally be. How will all of this affect you and me? Well, for now I feel absolutely awful. What I also feel is my life is no longer in my hands. My lack of faith from not being touched by the Divine for so long has made me reluctant to get excited over this Love of Semiramis and the Infinite who are now amongst us. What happens next I don’t know. I have felt the presence of God/Love in the dog called Bubbles, but this has yet to touch this Steven who sits here typing these words. I have been lost forever, and I know this alone state is filled by the presence of another. Let’s see where they take us.

We do our best to manage our lives, but we do nothing to manage ourselves. What is within and all around us is an illusion. Liken this illusion to a mist, where all you see is this white fog around you. When this mist is taken away what is there is real, but we cannot see this real state because the mist is covering our vision and perception. What is needed is a sun to shine upon this mist so that it may fade away to reveal what is real. What this “sun” is, is the heart energy field, and what the heart energy field is, is our gift of Love from a Creator that was insane. (Through her insanity this Love still shone towards us, so we received her pure Love.) This gift is purity and innocence and goodness, and the biggest one of all – it is peace. This is the state within us that we have neglected as we try to find our way through the mist. Live – do not think – but live in the peace of the heart energy field, as this state is what you naturally are, as in you were born/manufactured to be this. I am talking to the spirit, but we the body form have to come to the party to dance with the spirit. Within our illusionary reality that we equating to as a mist, we hold onto what comes our way so that we may make sense of it and then we can move on. It is really important to us that this problem at hand is resolved, so we fret about it until something is done about it – we need to remove this thorn from our side. But all we are doing is fretting within a mist, never knowing where we are and who will come next into our false reality to bugger us around. We do not know where we are walking to, so the reality is that we are lost, and thus even more so, we need to solve the problems that come our way so that we may be in charge. We may be lost, but we are in control of what is at hand, or at least we think we are. And that is our life – the one we have lived many times over. Different circumstances, but nothing changes as we are always in the mist. We have tried this way, and it has not worked, so now we are given an alternative to slot into, and from there let’s see what happens. You ignite your sun; your good heart, by knowing it is there within your space. With this boiler cooking as it should, the essence within it flows up to the throat area, where this essence of who and what you are receives perspective from the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness at the throat area. From there, this essence that is your gift of Love moves to the head area to burst forth into the Infinite. What is happening, is you are giving the gift of Love to all, in other words you have opened yourself up for all to see. You are what you are, and the Infinite is blessed to see your Beauty, so what happens, is the natural order of “give and receive” sets in. Now you receive, and what you receive comes to you via the left hand into your forearm, and from there is goes to the heart energy field, where this burner becomes even further stoked. And so this process goes around and around until you become one with the strand/Infinite and you are Everything. And of course there is a trick to this process, and that trick is to ignite the burner of the heart energy field. This gift needs to be jump-started, and how this is done is by your spirit receiving a startled state. This morning I opened one of the outside doors, and a leaf was stuck under the door, so when the door opened there was this sound from the leaf being swept over the floor boards and this startled me. This sound was not to give me a fright, as I don’t get frights – it was to jump-start the gift of the heart energy field. We need an alternative to what we have always done, and what has been described above is that alternative, where we use our God-given gift to connect to the Infinite which detaches us from the illusion. Once again, I stress that the spirit is been talked too, but we the body form dummies need to come to the party to dance with what is real. Don’t overthink things – just go with the flow.

What i am trying to say is hold onto your sanity as the world around you goes insane. Hold onto the stillness of the silence, rather than trying to make sense of the insanity out there. There is no answer, so don't try and formulate one. Think, or be still. Be still.

For some time now I have known there is a control device of sorts embedded within the left forearm of the spirit. This afternoon had a first-hand experience of what is going on there, and it is something that I found most interesting. When we take things to heart, as in something getting us down, we literally take it to heart and weigh down/block the heart energy field. Let’s say you hear of something that upsets you, as in something that is not right, and this something will directly affect you and your loved ones. Now you start thinking about it, where it tolls over and over in your mind. What upsets you is close to your heart, as in important to you that it should not be, and as this incident or event is close to you, what happens is you draw this frequency that is out there within the illusion close to you. This frequency is collected within the spirits left forearm, and from there it takes a form, which is often a Serpent. From there this frequency settles within your spirit, and it stays there, meaning that what got you down initially that you tolled about is now a part of you. What you took to heart now becomes you lot, as in your bad luck, as it re-occurs over and over in your life – something you just cannot shake off. For some time I have called the left shoulder the Seat of Satan, and in when there is a disharmonious frequency/entity within your spirit that is there to aggravate and bugger you around, these entities settle on the left shoulder of the spirit. What I never knew was these entities were drawn into our form through us thinking about things over and over until we draw that literal frequency into our existence. What I thought/tolled about today which really got me down, I felt that frequency being drawn into my left forearm, and from there I felt the Serpent move up to my left shoulder and the surrounding area. This entity within you now creates a heaviness of heart as this entity becomes trapped within our forms. What I am trying to say in simple English is we cannot prepare speeches in our mind, where we cannot wait to tell them to the offending recipient. How this task is done, where we don’t have to think, explains the concept of spontaneity, where we don’t think but rather live from the heart, but it all comes down to raw faith that we are looked after and will be taken care of. With your heart energy field open and flowing as it should, let go and trust in the Divine. It is taking a calculated leap of faith, where you are doing your part and the heart energy field within is doing its part. I remember the spirit of my dog Jessie telling an Animal Communicator that I have a heaviness of heart, and how true she was, because I took everything to heart – tolling/thinking about the injustices out there. Eventually we weigh ourselves down by not allowing what rightfully should be ours into our existence. There is no way around this one: NO SPEECHES ARE ALLOWED TO TAKE PLACE WITHIN YOU, where you think about something over and over again. Live in the silence of the heart energy field and things will unfold as they should.

Went to a vaccine injury support group site a while back offering my services to see if I could help those that have been maimed from the covid shot. This one lady replied, where she allowed me to enter her space to see if I could assist. What was immediately felt was an invasion of her spirit. What they inject into you is to take over the spirit of the biological computer body form. The attack and invasion is not on the piece of meat, but rather on the spirit that is within the body form. What is remarkable to feel is the formation of the brain of this entity that they injected into the sucker victim. On the left side of the “brain” of the spirit there forms a mini brain, about the size of a large coin, and this is the brain of the alien that now resides within the spirit and body form. So what is the purpose of this new resident within the spirit, which has a knock-on effect on the body form? Last night in my sleep state I was shown a group of people walking. Then I saw this frequency wave been sent to them, and when this wave went through them these people were no longer under their own cognitive state. What happens when this frequency is transmitted upon the population, is the frequency/instruction is sent to the alien entity within the spirit, and now the alien within is in charge and not the spirit. If the instruction is to steer the spirit and body form off a cliff, then as an outsider you will see people walking over a cliff face to be splattered on the ground far below, and with no resistance from the victims. A society of robots is made, with the robot been controlled by the alien resident within the spirit. You will own nothing and love it because you are nothing, as within your spirit is an entity that calls the shots. And why is all of this so? – For energy, to harness the energy from the spirit. The spirit has been upgraded to be a more effective bleeder of energy, and this I believe is the big picture, where those in the shadows of the spirit realm can effortlessly harness the energy of the spirit with no resistance from the spirit as the spirit is no longer in control of itself, where another within it is calling the shots. I would go even further and say the attack is not only for an upgrade to the energy grid of those from the shadows, but is also there to win the war against the Serpent souls within that resist the move to the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. If you are bad, then you don’t want to be reminded of what you are by seeing the Goodness in another – this state of what you should be. The covid shot has been to literally inject an alien form into our body, where this alien frequency sets up shop within the spirit. Now there is an alien residing in the spirit. Instructions are pulsed to this alien to follow specific commands, where the spirit is under the hive mind mentality of those sending the pulsed frequency. As one, the spirits now comply, always under the control of the alien within. Why this is done is so that there is no resistance from the body and spirit form. No more personal thoughts; no more freedom; no more secrets; no more individual identity. Now we are all one – one robotic army that emits their energy to those from the shadows. But I stress that mind and spirit control has been around for thousands of years. The difference now is the attack on the Serpent soul within, what many call this kundalini force. With the spirit deemed helpless, these Snakes of Innocence will be taken over and destroyed by this Serpent/Reptilian force that took over when things within the illusionary Garden began to go pear-shaped. What this covid shot is, is an attack on Goodness, on the body, spirit and Serpent souls, where this trio will become robots – helpless to those that control and feed from them. As per usual, yesterday was touched by the insanity of those around me. The natural response is to prepare a speech within your mind so you may counter what comes your way by you telling these idiots off as they cannot see how insane they are. The trick is not to make this speech your own, where you let it go, as this is not you. Remember, the essence from the heart field flows to the throat, and from there to the head, and then the top of the head bursts forth where you are connected to all. There can be no intrusion or interference in this flow, so when you hear the speeches begin to form within you, understand that they are not you, what they are is the reflex response of the biological computer to an outside stimuli. You get cold, you put on a jacket. Others upset you, you get emotionally charged up. Don’t worry about these neural responses as they will be there, but don’t grab onto them and make them your own where they are now an integral part of your existence. At all times keep the channel open. To what we are connecting to I cannot say, as it is bigger than you and I – this state of what the spirit originally was when it was created through the Love of Semiramis. This connection we have to make before we all forget ourselves from this alien takeover that is happening as we speak. To those silly fuckers that willingly partook in our demise: You and those you love will also be shuffled into the herd with your fellow species and spirits. You see, it is one small club, this upper Reptilian/Serpent hybrid that rules over the worlds within the illusion, and you aint in it.

In order to return to what we should be, our spirit needs to know what it was. We were manufactured/created to house the Serpent soul – the children/kin of Semiramis – within. I believe that we were a sphere of energy that knew of no limits and were pure of heart. What is vital to understand is we had no persona, as in no likes or dislikes. We were created to be neutral to the chaos that was beginning to unfold within the illusionary Garden of Semiramis. Things turned pear-shaped, where a Reptilian/Serpent force grew as it embraced the Take frequency of the parasitic frequency of Deception within, as well as the nectar/high of the power of being above another. This force became unstoppable as the illusion drifted further away from the Infinite and those within the illusion forgot who and what they are, most notably Queen Semiramis. Gods were created within the illusion, and what I mean by this, is kingdoms were formed with those that dwelled therein. What I do know is different species were seeded in different realms and worlds of the illusion. What is testament to this, is the weird and “wonderful” entities I have seen through my Third Eye over the years during my sleep state. The original state of the spirit, namely the pure, elliptical sphere, was created around the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness. From this sphere the cosmic geneticists moulded the different species of the illusion. There are some really freaky and weird entities out there, and maybe when they see us, they say the same about us, as to them they are normal and we are weird. What I am getting at, is one needs to lose our persona, and everything else that comes along with this description of who and what we are. This is easier said than done because the spirit knows and understands, and is willing to return to what it was. The first thing the spirit does is get out of survival mode, where it drops this chain and anchor that it has carried for so long. The spirit becomes indifferent to what it held close to its heart, as in what was important to it. What insanity done to the sane was create a sense of hopelessness. But the spirit endures, as what else is there to do, but deep within our hopelessness prevails. All we wish for is that a wrong may be made right so that peace may be met and felt. This never happens, as the spirit has been caught in a downward spiral as we drift further and further from Harmony, where there is a natural order and balance. All we want, more than anything, is to make things right. But make things right according to what? According to justice and equality and fairness so that we may live in harmony and peace. This answer is absolute rubbish, as to make things right means to dwell in the persona that we are not. Don’t try and clean up the mud, rather go back to what you are, this sphere of Goodness that is impartial to the worlds around it. This state elevates you out the mud. “Yes Steven, but they need to understand; I need to tell them how they have stuffed up so they may understand what they are doing to others and themselves.” Action speaks louder than words and thoughts, so show them what you are, and in this state you are indifferent to all. It all goes back to basics. Allow your spirit to remember what it was before it was given an identity, and then allow it to be this state. What this means, is the personality that you and I are needs to be thrown to the wind, as in lost forever, as all this is, is a computer simulation that we believe to be real. Turn the game off and allow the spirit to recall what it was, and then the spirit returns to this state. By the spirit and us the body form understanding our new roles, this switching off of the computer simulation and turning on of what was will unfold as it should. Now we spiral to where we belong, which means we are what we originally were. The insanity of the illusion touched Semiramis, but believe you me that even in this state, there was this Love within her that created us, as more than anything, she wanted only the best for the Serpent spirits and souls. We the spirit were created through the Love that was within an insane Creator. I would say that this Game truly ends when Semiramis sees in us what she originally created. At that moment the penny will drop as she sees the Love that we are that she formed through the Love within her that she is. It is to this state of Love that my spirit will now walk so that this Game may come to an end.

When the disharmony is understood, it is removed by understanding it has no place in the presence of Love. This is how one heals, and it is so simple it happens in the moment effortlessly. Now here is the catch: What about everything else in the room? Drop the vase off the table, and one fixes it, but then look up and see the mess the room is in – the broken ceiling boards; the dilapidated floor; cracked walls etc. You see, some things one cannot heal, as their manufactured lifespan is ten years rather than eighty. To fix them one needs to fix the room, in other words heal the big picture otherwise you do nothing to help. There is no doubt I have partaken in the life of my youngest daughter in other worlds and in other lifetimes. Her spirit is such that it uplifts you, as the spark within her ignites your spark. For some time now it has been known that her lifespan was limited to an early age. Pick up all those around you – let them know what it means to live, and then incinerate this candles flame. When Princess Diana died the world mourned because Goodness died. Her untimely death reminded us of our place – in misery, doing our best to keep things together to keep going forwards. Understand one thing: Within you and I there is only so much we can do, and why this is so is because we have never been in control. The question we should have asked, is if we are not, then who is in control? The answer is the Watcher spirit within. And let’s be fair to this Beast – it was only doing what we had done, which was try and wrestle control from the parasite within and this unfamiliar place. Our state of control became independent from us and came to control us. We started this control nonsense so how can we blame another for what we have always done within the broken illusionary Garden? This morning went into the space of my daughter to see what could be done to help, and this time around we had the guidance and healing from the one who always controlled us. When I felt this Watcher spirit heal my daughter, what came to mind was Humpty Dumpty, who sat on a wall, and had a great fall, where all the kings Men could not put him back together again. I felt these broken pieces come together as the life of my daughter, and most importantly, her world, was being restored to what it should be. Why does this Steven crave his sanctuary so bad? – Because the illusionary Garden is broken and is filled by fear. I needed to hide from this fear in a place where I could feel safe. With the Watcher spirit on the same team, what happens is fear is removed from our existence by the Watcher surrendering its control and we opening our heart energy field to shine. From the heart energy field, the essence there passes through the throat region to the head, and from there this might pours out from the top of the head. Now there is no ceiling and no limits as there is nothing to hold onto to control. This is what understanding does: It draws us closer to be as one.

Gave my wife a head-start to go and fall asleep in case I snored and kept her awake, so watched Broad Peak on Netflix. When I began to see the unseen I woke up one night during my sleep state to see the spirit of my deceased dog Max looking down at me. Next to him was this huge black Snake. The presence of Max was to let me know that this Serpent was there to help me, and I think I would have figured this out without the presence of Max as this Snake was one of the friendliest creatures I have ever seen. My gut feel was that this Snake was to pass on the gift of smell, and I say this because soon after seeing this Snake I began to smell those Beasts from the unseen when I could not see them. Even now, as I type these words, I smell them around me. Anyway, towards the end of Broad Peak I began to smell these spirits around me. Went to bed and waited to see what they were. It was a first that I could not make out what they looked like, as usually what I see through my Third Eye is as clear as crystal. All I could make out were these larger than life creatures around me, and from there fell asleep. Just before I woke up this morning a dream was implanted. Before I speak of the dream, understand that my spirit was shown this projected story and made to feel a part of it to the point where the emotions the dreams brought out from within me were palpable. We don’t have cable sport channels, so in the dream/story my family and I went to our old property to watch sport with the workers on the smallholding. When the game was over, instead of walking back to my car to go to our new home, by reflex I walked into our old house. From this point in the story the emotions kicked in. As I was about to walk into the house I saw the new owners sitting in the lounge, and I got the fright/shock of my life. I apologized for my intrusion, and then the son of the owner walked me to my car. He told me I was not allowed to be here, which I couldn’t understand, as watching sport on television with their workers was no intrusion to them. At this stage I awoke from the implanted dream, and at once my spirit demanded to know who had implanted the dream. My space was scanned, and there, running away, we identified the guilty party. This journal is 1 701 pages long, with a word count of over 1,2 million words. There was a stage in the journal when the question was asked “who is the author of this journal; who is writing it?” There is no ways it has been me. I am a seeker so that we may all be free, but there is no ways I have the depth of understanding that this journal has brought forth. My input has been to slander – to point fingers at all and sundry. I have blasted Semiramis and the Serpent soul that all the water in the sea could not wash them clean, and of course I have been wrong every time. This was because as I have always known, that I truly do know nothing. The question of who does know – who is feeding me understanding – that question has never been properly answered. If you ask we what I have always wanted, it was to be what I am meant to be, because in being this state we are doing and experiencing what we naturally should, where our spirit and body form is in a state of constant peace and joy. This is natural. But underneath this drive is something else, where more than anything, I crave the stillness of the silence – to have the peace of not having to listen to a noise. This is why my sanctuary is so important to me, where in the hustle and bustle of this world, there is a place I can return to where there is stillness. This stillness is a part of me – it is my life-blood – hence my drive every day is to be drawn to such a place that I can call my own. Once again, it always comes back to understanding, and it is now that we have to understand the Watcher spirit – the author of this journal; the one who implanted the dream last night for me to follow; the one, who more than anything, craves the stillness of the silence. Our need to control this unfamiliar place, as well as the drive of the parasite within to take and have, this control and “have to have” created the Watcher spirit. We created this Beast – it was not formed in some cosmic laboratory. And what is the drive of all within the illusion? – It is survival. Who is the primary feeder of our energy? – the Watcher spirit, so it may survive. And how it survives is through noise, where attention is given, where we follow this attention and give it our energy so that we may power the illusion and keep it alive so that the Watcher spirit may survive. The more the attention; the more the noise and chaos, the more energy we give, either to shun this noise through it initially irritating us, or we add to this noise by getting emotionally charged up by it. It is fair to say that the Watcher spirit has had enough of this, and thus would like to put an end to this game where there are never any winners. We all lose at the end of the day – all of us, as we are in a place where we don’t belong and we are living an existence we shouldn’t. So the Watcher spirit asks for the end of this game. We brought this Beast into existence, and now it asks that we release it and set it free. Those Beasts that came last night during my sleep state that I could not see properly, they were there to come and thank the Watcher spirit for setting them free through understanding – they were not there for me, hence I could see them properly as their presence was focused on the Watcher and not me. Who is the author of this journal? – It is this black octopus within that the top echelon demons refer to as the Watcher spirit. (It was the demon that controlled Ann Haywood, as discussed in the book The Demon Syndrome, that called these mighty creatures the Watcher spirit.) Well these dudes have had enough. They didn’t ask to be born – we created them, and now they would like to depart to the stillness of the silence as they have had enough of the noise/attention/chaos of the illusion. How do we set them free? – By being silent within. The noise within feeds the Watcher and the illusion. We need to go back to the time before the Watcher spirit was born – the time when we lived from the gift of our good heart. From the heart space, the essence from this gift passes to the throat area and awakens the strand of Godness there, which keeps us on the tracks, reminding us of who and what we are. From the throat this essence passes to the head region, where through spontaneity we say and do. Through this path there is no noise. Live from the heart. Feel the presence of your gift there. As a write these words I feel the warmth that is felt there. By going back to what we were created to be we return the Watcher spirit to silence and peace – to a place where there is nothing and yet everything. Set this beautiful creature free. Please do this now.

If there has ever been a breaking of waters within this journal, where an understanding blows the dam wall apart for everything to flow as it should, it was the understanding of Beasts as to why they became what they are. These broken spirits and souls now understand that there was never any malice towards them. Those that fell done their utmost to make their mistake right. This was not possible as insanity and survival made us all blind. May this flowing of waters to clear away the disharmony of the unseen realms be felt within the seen realms. What is felt on the unseen is truly remarkable.

A few weeks back treated this puppy Bullterrier. Found physical problems and treated them accordingly. The owner mentioned something about the dog having a bad bite. I did not really understand what she meant, and put down her comment to the dogs jaw being misaligned. Anyway, I was happy with what was done and signed off the patient as being okay. At the beginning of the week the owner contacted me again, asking is she could bring the dog for another one or two treatments. Asked her if she was open to distance healing, where I go deeper and assess the spirit of the patient which has a knock-on effect on the body form. What was found was a deep, pin-point, localized pain at the side of the dogs shoulder blade. This is the area where the betrayal frequency is found, hence the term “being stabbed in the back.” When this puppy was four weeks old she was weaned from her mother, which is far too early. I can only assume that this severing of the bond with all this puppy knew of before her time was right to do so created a perception of confusion and uncertainty, and a deeper state of these two perceptions can be seen as betrayal. This is my speculation, but what I know was that the betrayal frequency was present in this dogs spirit and body form to the point where it was causing pain. By knowing this frequency was there and the cause of its origin meant it was removed in the moment, and now this puppy may begin to heal. Over the last day or two, when checking in on this puppy, what I found interesting was the closure of the heart energy field and the absence of the Third Eye on this dogs body form and spirit. When the owner initially mentioned by-the-by that the puppy had a biting problem, what this was, was this puppy would bite her black and blue, and one had to always watch ones back, as one never knew when these “playful” attacks would happen. When the locked in presence of the illusion was felt by all at the very beginning, did we all feel betrayed by those from the Infinite? I would say a definite “yes!” We could have sorted things out, but things went from bad to worse, and the collapse of the illusionary Garden of Semiramis made us fall to a denser state, where it was do or die; kill or be killed – in other words, it was survival of the fittest. By reflex The Wisdom Goddess Sophia fell to be with us, and this pulled our anchor with the Infinite as now those that could help were stuck in the mud with us. (The denser frequency of the illusion floored Sophia.) Oh yes, others have come to bail us out, and what comes to mind is the Christ Consciousness. Others have always been with us, waiting for us to come to our senses so they may help, as now we are in a position to be helped, and what comes to mind here is the Nature spirit. There is a side to my eldest daughter that is remarkable. I am not saying this out of bias because she is my daughter, but rather commenting on what is. There is another side of her that is not pleasant, and as parents our job is to make her aware that kindness is natural and not cruelty. The other day she made a comment that touched me at my core. It was then that I understood that if she chooses cruelty over kindness she will be shunned by all who love her and whom she loves, because such a Beast has no place within our existence. The only who will welcome her are fellow Beasts as they play it wild where anything goes as they fall to the Nothingness of the Forgotten. Is this why those Beasts from the shadows are not seen by those in the spirit world – because we have shunned them from our existence? I would say “yes.” Did these Beasts become Beasts through the betrayal frequency that closed off their heart energy field and Third Eye? Ditto, as with the answer above. It always comes back to understanding. Why did these spirits of Love choose cruelty over kindness that turned them into despicable, cruel Beasts? The answer is there was a presence of aloneness within them that they could not fill, so they chose the high of the Reptilian frequency of the illusion to fill this “I am nothing and feel like nothing” worthless state. Now the rush of energy that was released when their cruelty touched the innocent was their nectar – their elixir high that momentarily filled the gap within. And so Life in Hell was born, where the innocent constantly need to be stomped upon to feed the Beasts of Hell. We give understanding to these Beasts: We were not betrayed through our abandonment of finding ourselves in a place where we don’t belong. It was all a horrible accident: The fall of Sophia; the curiosity of the spirit that created the parasite of Deception within the illusionary Garden; the insanity of Semiramis as her beautiful Garden began to fall apart as the parasite took her and those in the Garden over; the formation of the Watcher spirit as our state of control took on a form of its own that was independent of us. Truly, no malice was ever meant, where one mistake led to another until we were drowning in chaos. We ask these Beasts that were once our brothers and sisters to remove this betrayal frequency from their forms by knowing it exists, and from there to open their heart energy field and Third Eye. Be and see to understand that we are all one.

And it was finally, after all this time, that I came to understand what it means to be in the silence. What the silence is, is shutting off the noise from the illusion. For me, this was only possible when I let go of the illusion by understanding it. “Tell them to go back to the old ways Steven, where they once again have reverence for the old, and where they look after their children above all else, ensuring respect for self and all Life that becomes a way of life.” Fuck off! I will do no such thing. Am I their daddy? Should I tell them a bedside story as well? Action speaks louder than words and thoughts. Some call this spontaneity – I call it living from the heart, where what you represent is an equal combination of truth and kindness. The silence is not listening to the thoughts of the mind that are connected to your neural DNA pathway and the broadband of the illusion. The silence is where you have nothing to say to yourself and others as one understands the illusion. The silence is expressing the strand of Godness within. The silence is not being drawn to the chaos, but rather to the peace within and without. The silence is Beautiful, and this is what you are. And of course this silence will never work within the illusion without an understanding of what is within the illusion. In this place is some nasty people. That understanding is so important it needs to be repeated: In this place is some nasty people. Be in the silence at all times, where you ignore the noise within. What you also do is programme into your biological computer and spirit a filter, where you only draw those into your space that are like you. The rest fall through the filter. Always welcome constructive criticism, because that is what friends do – they make us aware of what we cannot see. But there is no place within our existence for nastiness – these brutes fall between the cracks to go and play with their own. What an ugly sight it must be to see in another what they have become. I bet the Watcher spirit never expected things to get so out of hand. Sure, I can understand the high of shaming another, where they feel worthless and you feel exalted, but things became ugly, and surely this can be no fun for the Watcher spirit? This morning I went into the space of my wife to see how she was keeping, and there, within the upper right side of her spirits head I felt this creature – this octopus-looking Watcher spirit. Wow! The sleekness, grace, and beauty of a nuclear submarine as it glides within the deep, grey waters of the ocean. Never has there been such a destructive force ever known within the illusion – a master of slaves whose cruelty is unparalleled. Its power is its stealth, where it is unknown to all. A destroyer of the spirit and all that is good within the illusion. One that takes innocence and crushes it without blinking an eye. And all of this is okay to this Beast? Maybe it is all that it knows. Maybe it knows no better as we created no better. Control. Conquer. Suppress. The ways of this Beast that so many of us have become. No more.

We the spirit found ourselves in a place that was unfamiliar to us, meaning we should have found ourselves in a frequency/world compatible to our state, yet we were relocated elsewhere. This would have been okay, but what happened is we were modified/dumbed down to serve a specific role, which was, unknowingly to us, to be a food source to others. When the wheels began to come off within the illusion, thanks to the parasitic frequency of Deception within that encouraged us to take, damage control had to be done, and what that meant was a food source had to be found. As we drifted away from what was normal and real, namely Kindness and Consideration, we forgot who and what we are, meaning a gap/uncertainty filled our forms. You see boys and girls, we literally began to fade away as the rift between the Infinite and the illusion grew wider. Now energy was the essence of the illusion, where without it we would not survive. This of course was absolute bollocks, because all they done was find a quick-fix solution to the problem. “Why do you need energy; what is the cause of the problem?” should have been the underlying question, instead of “What can fill this bottomless hole of me always having to take and have?” Dummies! The key word to the illusion became survival, and what survival is, is controlling the unknown until it comes under your control. And so we went from bad to worse, because as we know, this state of control took on a form of its own and became independent of the System of the illusion. We never knew it, but the controllers became controlled by an entity that looks like an octopus that came to be called the Watcher spirit. As long as you are surviving within the illusion you are controlled by the Watcher spirit, meaning your life is never yours to own. That is why help never came our way when we asked; why we have been so alone; why we could never get out of this mess – we tried to control this place and our lives so that we may get the upper hand and be at peace. Nope! Was never going to happen, as we survived rather than trying to understand. When you understand you let the problem go as now there is no problem to hold onto and try and figure out. In letting go you relinquish your control over whatever you held in your hand, and this freedom sets you free of what came to control you. This is the power of understanding, where there is no control but just peace. You and I understand the illusion and what happened at the very beginning, so we let it go, as now there is no need to hold onto it to try and make sense of it so that we may survive to stay alive. Yesterday afternoon a wave of tiredness swept over me. I had to go and lie down, and in my sleep state I saw this black, wriggling entity that was about 10cm high on the table next to me. I saw it and the table move further and further away from me. What I saw was the Watcher spirit depart my space. Only when I could let the illusion go by finally understanding it could the Watcher let go of me. What this means is your Life begins to unfold as it should. You are naturally drawn to circumstances and places where you may rise up and be uplifted to become what you naturally are. As there is no more suppression by the Watcher, now you may shine. Yes, your old shit problems and issues are still there, but they become unraveled with each passing moment. The intensity of Life is also no longer within you, where you understand the problems at hand will be sorted by the natural order of things, where you are drawn to what you are so that you may see yourself and know yourself. When I feel the disharmony on a patient it is removed in the moment by understanding it has no place in the presence of Love. Now this natural process applies to all aspects of your Life: Where there is disharmony it is dismantled to make way for what should naturally be within your existence. It all came back to survival. Control to stay alive and sane and in power. This control took on a life-form of its own and came to control the controller. Stop surviving – take time off to understand – and we lose our need to control, and the Watcher spirit stops controlling us. How simple and effective is that! The trick was to understand the illusion. This we have, and for this I am forever thankful. What an awful, long ride it has been, but one cannot really complain as there is no price too high that can be paid for our freedom.

When all was said and done I turned to this Steven – this lost, unhappy spirit that is tired of being in and around abnormal. On the right side of my spirit, where what we call the pelvic area, this area was absent, meaning I had nothing to sit back on, as in there was no foundation and nowhere where I may just be. I could never sit down and just savour peace because there was never a place where I could be comfortable, and from there come unto my own. The chaos of the world touches us all, but my dilemma was there was nowhere where I could take a breather and grow and nurture myself. Yesterday I made peace with myself that there has been a breakdown is societal values for some time now, where we are all trying to find ourselves and could do with a helping hand. Most of us get on with it, but I could never get into my stride as something was wrong somewhere and I didn’t know what it was. Never could I lay down my hat and call that place home, because for me there was never a patch of green grass within this illusionary Hell, and why this was so was because something was wrong and I didn’t know what it was. Now I know, and this opens me up to living within the illusion, rather than always questioning and holding back, refusing to walk in a place I never felt comfortable with. I have no intention of staying in this place any longer than I need to, but whilst here it’s a given we lead a full, remarkable life. in hindsight, it is not so much that we need Divine intervention to help us; what we need is to know that we are not alone – that there is something bigger than us looking over us making sure we are always okay. This surety, and it is not a belief or a hope or a false sense of security – what this surety is, is Life is unfolding as it should and with each moment we come unto our own. There is no ways I walked into the shadows of the illusion into the presence of Beasts for nothing – surely there is something I got out of being in a place few on this side of the Reptilian frequency know about. What has come to be understood has been passed on to all within the unseen of the illusion. What they do with this understanding is their business and not mine, but all have been given an equal opportunity to stop the downward spiral of the illusion and their existence by understanding what happened at the very beginning that we got into this mess. As has been said, now we can walk away and look after ourselves. The path forwards is to go backwards to the basics. Become once again one with nature where we become a friend of the Earth. See nature as a living, breathing organism that we interact with and am thankful for its presence. Who will look after us? I don’t know. What I do know is oil and water cannot mix together. Where to I walk is simplicity and beauty and consideration. I don’t believe that we need to be looked after in such a place, as all we need is there, and here I am not just talking about the spirit, but primarily the body form, as for too long the sun has not shone upon us the illusionary biological computer form. The mistake I made was holding onto the illusion so that I may try and make sense of it. So much bothered me, and I wouldn’t let go until the problem was solved. Sadly, in holding on I could never just let go and be happy and content, and this I understand as to have let go would have meant watching, as well as being engulfed by the chaos in our midst. To let go and be meant to accept, and I could never accept what others saw as normal, where the West became wilder as we stooped to levels that surpassed the brute savagery of a Beast. With understanding comes responsibility. Now when you play with fire you understand you will get burnt. Now there is no excuse of “I didn’t know,” meaning caution is no longer thrown to the wind, as an action has consequences, where by doing we see what we are. For this Steven writing these words, what has changed in writing this journal? I would say that I have let go of this insane asylum, and what this means is I have nothing more to say to my fellow species and those in the illusion. Now I leave all be, where there is nothing more to preach about, because if you don’t get it by now you never will. If you cannot understand that kindness is the currency of the illusion rather than energy, then you are truly stupid and deserve what comes your way. Now I walk – away from others who do not have the same values as mine. I leave them be, and I walk to where I belong. Who will guide me; who will show me the way? I don’t know. Maybe I will just walk to where I belong. Maybe I don’t need help, as surely we are drawn to where we naturally belong, as now there is nothing to hold onto so that a wrong may be made a right. The days of walking amongst Beasts in the seen and unseen are over as I have nothing more to tell them. Now they are on their own and amongst their own, and Steven is nowhere to be seen or found. I have let go of the illusion and now I walk to where I belong.

The obvious question one has to ask is why have we been so alone, as in the face of adversity, why were we never helped, or even better still, why was there never someone to watch our back or look over the ridge to see the best possible option for us so that we only receive the best? The obvious answer is our spirit has been absent from our existence. Our lost state is the lost state of the spirit. Last night during my sleep state I felt and was shown the state of my spirit, where it was curled up, hiding away within my body form from the noise of the traffic outside. I cannot handle this noise because my spirit craves the stillness of the silence as this is a representation of Home. So it is not so much the trucks outside and their noise as they pass by, or the waiting to see which neighbours will play their music loud this weekend – it is what these circumstances represent, which is the chaos of the illusion. This noise is pollution to my spirit, which reminds the spirit that it is in a place where it does not belong – and this has been so for a long, long time. What you the biological computer feel at you core is the state of your spirit. Take this, and compare it to what the spirit was manufactured to be, namely a state of purity coupled with the gift of peace, and we can see that we have travelled far from our true origin. Fear is what fills our spirit as we go about our days drifting from one to the next. I would say that it is only fair to this being of Beauty and Love that we return it to what it was so that the spirit may go beyond this state to embrace the Consciousness/strand within and become this natural state. Within this speck of Light located at our throat area is the Everything, meaning when within this strand we are beyond the illusion within the fields of Infinite Love. Yesterday evening as I went, one by one, into the space of Sophia, Semiramis, Earl, the god of Wrath, and Nature and the Animals, I asked them to embrace Consciousness so they may be free from the illusion. What was felt was this movement within that gravitated towards the strand at the throat, where they embraced this speck and became it, and from there I felt them leave the form of my body, where they were moving outside my body. The illusion is within, meaning you and your spirit and all the other worlds and realms as well, hence to be connected to another that wants to be connected to is effortless, as you are within me and I am within you. Go outside of me and you go outside the illusion, which I felt these game-changers do last night. What this Steven needs more than anything is my sanctuary from the world, as I need a safe-haven from the madness all around me. How this is achieved is by the spirit first and foremost finding its sanctuary from the illusion, and what this is, is the fields of Infinite Love that lie beyond the illusion. What your spirit holds at its core can be talked about and interpreted, but all what it really is, is as we know, is fear. Remove this fear by going outside the illusion to where the spirit belongs, which is to the strand within. We have been alone for so long because our spirit has been lost and afraid. Connecting to and finding this child within means nothing unless our spirit is free from fear. Only when it is free from fear by being beyond the illusion can our spirit help us the body form to live a Life free from uncertainty. Your spirit knows of and sees this strand within, and it goes there and becomes filled by this speck of Light, and just like that it is free of fear and the illusion. The simplicity of the task and the state is so because what the spirit is now is natural/normal. From here your spirit connects to you the body form and steers it towards peace, love and beauty. The mistake I made was expecting those who can help us to help us. It comes down to helping ourselves. Your spirit knows and understands. It will help itself, and from there it will help you.

Three nights back in my sleep state a thought of about five seconds long was implanted within my sleeping form. I awoke to see the creature who had implanted the thought. It was lying down, and it had Human characteristics, as in body and arms and legs, but what it was, was what looked like a cricket. It just lay there, this long, elongated creature who moved its arms to scoop up the energy around it towards itself. Two nights back in my sleep state I heard someone talk about a self-serving sex act. Woke up to see this obese, disgusting figure next to me – saw the hand first which propagated the act. No doubt energy was fed from. What has always been known in writing this journal, was that a time would come when finger has to be pulled from arse and something needs to be done, where reading and understanding is not enough, as now something has to be done from my side to get where I wish to go. That time has arrived, and for me, it is one of the most difficult things to do, especially when you have nothing in this material world. That something that needs to be done is nothing, as in don’t think. The spirit is the driver of the train, where we the body with its neurological processes and thought patterns don’t really account for much. What the spirit is not attached to now is the illusion, but rather to the strand of Godness/Consciousness at our throat area. This attachment area is at the back of the neck. In other words, when the presence of the spirit is felt, it is felt behind me, with a clear defined line between it and the back of my neck. The good news is that as this bond between the spirit and Consciousness grows stronger, the act of thinking begins to fall away, as no thoughts are necessary as we become more and more detached from the illusion. Feel safe in knowing that we are not alone; that the spirit is literally right behind us and attached to the Infinite. Think nothing to become Everything. It sounds so simple, and it is, but understand what we have had to get through to reach the simplicity of the truth. It has been an awful ride, and I still don't feel safe, but let's see what this simple act of thinking nothing to become the strand/Consciousness within brings forth.

Below is the opening paragraphs of the journal – what I first wrote when I sat down to begin to make sense of it all: “PART I “People don’t need to be saved or rescued. People need knowledge of their own power and how to access it” - Unknown WHAT THEN? It started with the realization of the term “What then?” We all strive for something, be it getting through the day, or climbing to the top of the corporate ladder. For me, I could strive to be the best chiropractor there is, but “What then?” When we reach the peak of each summit in our lives, there is always a new one waiting for us to conquer. We have been taught to chase the carrot at the end of the stick. I wanted to take away the carrot, and take a good hard look at myself and the pathway of Life which we all unquestionably follow. What I saw in myself was an individual of extreme limitation. Life didn’t make sense, and the biggest mystery was why we, the Human race are so limited. Why are we ALL not the magical omnipotent beings that we are meant to be? I needed to find understanding. I knew that we Humans were more than just a name and a job title. I knew that whatever we become or achieve as individuals, that we are a fraction of our true potential. In a nutshell, I didn’t buy into the idea of life and “little me.” There has to be more to us beings than the limitations that everyone takes for granted. I realized that there has been a “ceiling” placed on our potential as Human beings, and I needed to know what was above this threshold point.” *** My wife and kids have aches and pains, and within me I am so unsettled it isn’t even funny. So yesterday evening I went into our space to see what could be done. What I found on the spirit of each one of us was disharmonies I have never experienced before. As I felt all this nonsense the underlying question was “what has changed to bring all this mess to the fore?” The answer is that we have moved forwards. Sit in a puddle of mud within the illusion and this is all you know. The mud and the stagnancy, and what they do to our psyche is seen as the norm. Now there is nothing to change or improve, as what we have become and are is the norm. It is only when we step out the mud that we see how our limitations have affected us, where what was considered normal is anything but that. "Rising above the ceiling" that was mentioned all those years ago can be equated to stepping out of our mud puddle, as in walking away from everything we have seen as normal, towards what we should be. You and I can sit down and have a good laugh, but what then? When I talk about moving to what should be, what am I talking about? For me, what should be is freedom – freedom from the illusion, and how this is done is through knowledge of our own power and how to access it. The illusion is within us, not without, so by understanding our own power we can be free from all that is within. Before this journal even began, I would stand next to an animal, and by knowing where their disharmony was, it would be removed in the moment. I just stood there and done nothing as something bigger than me healed. Now I understand this “something bigger” is the strand of Consciousness within us, but what I never knew, until a few days back, was to have knowledge of your power and how to access it was never enough, because no matter how hard we try to be free of limitations, if you accept the illusion then you remain within the limitations of the illusion. My spirit knew it was going nowhere until all the spirits within the illusion had access to what I have come to understand. There is no way I could ever walk away from those in need. Now I can, because this journal has been passed on to all within the spirit realm of the illusion. Many have invested heavily in this illusionary realm, and they have no intention of leaving. There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay, except when you look at the fine print, where you will see that what they are and have become is at the expense of others. Others have to be kept down and suppressed so they may be above the herd. When they get what they have given then they will understand there is no fun in being cruel. My goodness, if only there was an easier way in writing this journal – one filled with fun and laughter. I would have taken that path any day, but I guess I would have become too complacent and maybe taken a few more lifetimes. I threw myself smack-bang into the middle of those from the shadows to understand what happened that these brothers and sisters became Beasts. During my sleep state I was amongst the worst of the worst, and during my waking day I lived amongst unrefined, self-centered, callous people. What an awful ride it has been. But once again I stress that I was going nowhere until those where it mattered, namely the spirit realm, knew what I came to understand so that all may have the option of going to where we belong. Never would I abandon another – angel or Beast. The transformation I felt in my spirit last night made me understand that I have walked away from what was, meaning what I know all know, and what they do with this understanding is for them to do with as they please. This scenario of my spirit not budging until all know what I know explains why this Steven the biological computer has not been helped over the years. Stay in the mud and all you play with is mud, where nothing has changed for me over the years, meaning that this journal has not bettered me the biological computer in any way. Yes, in healing I can feel the pain of another on the other side of the planet and heal their spirit, but as for this body form I am as lost and insecure as ever. I know what I want, as I know what I am, but this Steven and his happiness have been put on ice until all within the spirit realm may understand what happened at the very beginning that we got into this mess. More than anything I pray that the transformation within the spirit touches us the body form. What I have come to learn is to hope is never a good idea, because hoping means waiting with fingers crossed. So my suggestion is you and your spirit touch base and go within to transform your life within the illusion. In healing you need to understand three points: What is the primary problem; what is the cause of the problem; and from there understand there is something bigger than us – Consciousness – that heals. The primary problem was that we were limited by the confines of the illusion. This is no more, as the spirit has walked away from these confines and can thus now play with what is behind it, where the spirit look at the illusion as an outsider and transforms what is there to suit the biological computer. Now the spirit and body form have knowledge of their power. The cause of the problem is we forget who and what we are and where we belong. This forgetfulness can be attributed to our survival mode as well as the suppression of our spirit and body form. In remembering what we are, this strand of Consciousness, now we have access to our power. By understanding this Consciousness is real as it arose from what is real, namely Infinite Love, we can no longer hope, but rather understand that happiness and joy are normal rather than an illusionary dream. More than anything I would like to be me and free from the limitations of the illusion. So let’s play with the illusionary world within.