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steven geldenhuys

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  1. There were bad guys around me that I was shooting with a gun. Then I saw two of these bad guys turn towards each other for a bit of R & R, where the one put his dick up the other guys arse and begun to hump him. Hell, that’s not normal. A hand-job should suffice, but not that. It bothered me that I was around these bad people, so I told myself to look within towards my Consciousness and be that, where I could not understand why I was around these tormented beings. From there my spirit found itself in a vehicle, where I was on my phone trying to get hold of my mom. There were others in the car with me – good people – and some of the keypads on the phone did not work properly so I had to make sure I pressed the numbers properly. The vehicle was one of those safari no-roof ones, and when I climbed out of the vehicle my wife’s best friend was there. Years back in this seen realm this lady turned what I said 360 degrees and made me out into a monster, which soured the relationship, where we never saw her again. So there she was last night in this place in the spirit realm. She told me my mother was in for an operation for a double hip replacement. When I spoke to this lady there were ice cubes in my mouth. What is all that about? This lady mentioned above was a friend of my wife for many years. Over the last few years of their relationship it became very one sided, where she used the friendship for her convenience, meaning she became a friends arse. This troubled me, because that is not what a friend is, but still we Loved and cared for her. I suppose the writing was on the wall, and when things broke it rattled me and my wife to our core because what she told others about me to make me look bad was a downright lie which she believed to be the truth. Our Love for her could only carry her so far, where she decided to terminate the friendship, and from our side it was no longer an option to be around such people. Why would you not allow others to care about you and be there for you as you walk this harsh path through Life? Why cut the bond, and hurt them in the process? I am not a psychologist and have no real desire to be one, so to analyze these cruel I have no interest in doing. Just leave me alone, and thanks for eventually showing me your true colours so I may understand you are not worthy of my Love. So where is this all going – why was I shown those scenarios in my sleep state last night? There is something deeper to know. In the stillness of the silence momentum and movement is felt within my heart space. It is like a pot of lava in the centre and top of a mountain, where lava begins to move and bubble and spew outwards – this is what is going on in our heart space. Movement is felt on the whole left side of my abdomen, as if this part of me is moving away, but it is not – it is just shifting to allow the release from our heart space. When something popped within us from the shock of the betrayal of those we Loved, there had to be a release of this trauma. You could literally say that our heart space became broken, and the piece that broke off had to go somewhere, and where it settled was on the left shoulder. As I write these words pain is felt on the left shoulder, where what was in this area is compressed downwards to make place for this portion of our heart space. (This I find most interesting because last week when I saw this lady who was abused by her mother and father her whole life, she had this same feeling I feel right now at her left shoulder. Can you imagine parents abusing their child – the one they are meant to Love the most; the one who Loves them more than anything.) What has been known for years is the left shoulder we called the seat of satan, because when demonic entities entered your space to stay for a while, they would attach themselves to and reside around the left shoulder. Now we know how this seat got there – by our hearts being broken, where the broken piece of essence that defined us came to settle at this area. These demons basically sat on our sorrow, and this must be why this seat must have been so comfortable to them. This literal breaking of our heart space was bad, but what ensued was a distortion to our psyche from which we could never recover. Now we turned to the analytical mind, where a hard question was asked: “Why?” Why did you just break my heart when I Love you so much? On the left side of our brain I feel the presence/energy of this question as it moves around there looking for an answer. Now I feel that question move out of us, where it departs the brain space, and from there I feel this exit wound heal, and from the left brain this line drops down to create a shear in our left eye. That shear is the flaw in the System, where those we Loved broke us. Now you know why this light-headed, emptiness is within you when a Loved one hurts you, where you cannot grab onto here or there – it is because you asked a question that cannot be answered, because what you just experienced goes against everything that you are, which is Love. There is no answer as to why those we Love just broke us, and this lack of closure makes us drift. And drift. And drift. Now we were easy riding for those attached to our left shoulder, where they could do with us as they want because now within us there was nobody home. You never recover from the incomprehensible. Sure, you get on with Life, but you are never the same again, where this act of betrayal changed you forever. And understand I am not talking about childhood sweetheart puppy-love – I am talking about Love between two spirits, and I would go even further to say this Love is between two units of Consciousness, where this betrayal cuts deep, and why this is so, is because it was unnecessary. The only explainable reason is because they can. Which is devastating, because what you just done was break me. Those baddies that I had to shoot that ended up butt-banging each other could enter my space from the seat of sorrow within me as well as my rattled state, which we never truly recover from, thus is always there. For me, one level below Love is a deep caring, and here a total stranger can walk into your Life, and in that short period of time you care for them. A few weeks back this man brought his dog to me for help. In over an hour I done everything I could to help this dog, where I cared and gave it my all. Later it came out that this man refused to pay me because, in his words, he left me and thought he had just been scammed. He thought I was high on something; that I was a fraud, and now he was going to expose me. It look me over an hour to explain each step what I done to assist his dog. I really cared, as I always do, and I gave it my everything, so this man hurt me deeply, where if anything, he could not see that I cared. That really upset me, because I know what I am, where I am no fraud. Ask yourself why these most unpleasant, twisted individuals can enter our space, where they are the complete opposite of what we are. Always, I self-analyze myself because I want to be better than what I am. Others are so detached from reality and themselves that they do not know themselves and are thus immune to faults. How can I allow such unpleasant beings into my space, where they waste my time and my energy? The answer is my heart space has been broken and so has theirs, so now we all float in the same space like trillions of molecules of essence, where we float and bump against each other because we are all the same – the broken. Many accept this status and make it their own – I don’t, because I don’t like being a fuck-nut idiot that allows the same into my existence. I want to be better than what I am; I want to rise up where I belong and be what I naturally am. The point to make was that it is not only those we Love that affect us disharmoniously. I would say it was those we Love that broke us, which opened us up to be around those that rattle us, and this is in the seen and unseen realms. This stops now. This is no more. By understanding our broken state we restore it to what it should be. Last night in my sleep state I was shown those events so that we may understand our broken state, and from there, in the moment, it is healed. But why the ice cubes in my mouth? What does that mean? It means we had no answer to what was done to us, because there is no answer. What do you say to someone who takes your Love and destroys it? There are no words to make us feel better, so there is truly nothing to say to make this wrong right. That is why my mouth was filled with ice cubes – because within me is a shattered, cold, delirious state, and that’s it, there is nothing else. There are no words, just a cold, broken, frozen state. And please understand why this is so. It is because we are Love – all of us, so how can we break each other when this is all we are and have? We cannot, but we did, and this allowed Beasts and Monsters into our space in the seen and unseen to play with us. No more. There is one last aspect to mention here, and this is what I would say kept the illusion intact and going for so long. What that is, is the lie. In knowing the lie; in seeing the lie, this hell-hole, as well as the analytical illusion would not have lasted a month, where we all would have said I am not standing for all of this bullshit, so let’s go Home. How is it possible that we could never tell the truth from a lie? The answer is our shattered, broken state created a delirium within us, meaning we could not think straight, and thus not see the nonsense in front of us. By not knowing ourselves we doubted ourselves as to what is the truth, and this further embedded our drifting status – going nowhere slowly. By your heart field intact you draw to you others that are you, and nothing else. This places you rock-solid on the path Home, because what you are is an expression of Home, thus you are drawn to where you belong. There is nothing else but this in your existence, which is natural as this is all there is.
  2. What I was shown as I slept last night was a house on fire. As an impartial mechanical engineer would, I walked around the house and noted the strategic points within the house where the flames were. The roof was the prime spot where the flames took hold, where from there everything would fall apart. What we have never realized, was how bad we were. We had no choice but to keep moving, and this was the System pushing us from behind saying “keep moving.” Never was there time to contemplate and reflect – the reason we departed the Garden and came here in the first place. We could never backtrack, see our mistakes, correct them, and from there move forwards in the right direction. On one mistake another was built, and so we went forwards, becoming more and more confused. Some of us tried our darnest to get it right, and others just threw in the towel and said “fuck it.” What we never knew was the impact the illusion had on us. Always, we looked, but what we saw was what we believed, not what was real, and by “real” I mean the state of our spirit. How did those knocks the illusion threw at us impact us the spirit? The answer is we the illusionary unit began to fade. The other night as I slept I woke up, and through my Third Eye saw this Beautiful, innocent young boy looking at me. His most noticeable trait was most of his face was missing, and that is the impact the illusion had on him the spirit. Have written often in the journal of my account in meeting what I called then the god of Wrath. Woke up one night to see this clay face looking at me. The presence of this entity was so powerful my lungs were pushed to one side, where I battled to breathe, and my thoughts slowed down from my brain being compressed. All that was left of this new-found friend of mine was his face – the rest of him was broken down to fade away by the harshness of this place, where all the shit out there touches us and chips away at the old block that is us the spirit. So when you the spirit sees another spirit, you see what you believe should be there, not what is realistically there. Look, and the only way you can do this is by looking without fear, where when you look to see what is there, you will see that so much of what should be there is not. But before you truly look at another spirit, look at yourself, and how you do this is look at your Consciousness. You look within – every essence of what you are looks within. What you will see and feel is what one can only describe as a beating Sun, where this Glowing state within you expands and contracts like a beating heart. That is the real you, and in seeing yourself, in this reflection you see you the spirit. Now you see the beaten, dilapidated fraction of what you should be, and from there you grow and become complete. So that house on fire I saw last night was us, where we have been burning up – fading – into nothing since our inception. The positive side of this is when you the spirit look at the Consciousness that you are, you build yourself up in the image of Consciousness, and what this means is you begin to Glow/represent what you are, where from Consciousness you the spirit come forth. Before, we were created around a lost and manipulated Consciousness. Now we are one with Consciousness as it should be, and this changes everything.
  3. The Game was about throwing a tantrum and breaking things, and by “things,” that is primarily you and me. Here in South Africa the decisions the governments make do not make logical sense, where what they do does and will not work. Fair enough, large doses of stupidity are in the mix, but those feeding them these ideas have only one motive in mind, and that is to break that which is not already broken. They wanted us on our knees, because from there they can do with us as they please. Work from the shadows, and then when the scum is floored, show yourself and deliver the final blow. This is the coward; the snake-shit who doesn’t have the courage to look us in the eye. Their modus operandi is to work from the shadows – the thief in the night – and why this is so is because they understand their weakness, which is within them is nothing. All they have is their blood lust and cruelty – their will to do the unspeakable. Think about what I have just described. Think of the shallowness and cowardly nature of those that controlled and destroyed the illusion. Just stand back for one moment and look at those I have just described. Do you see them? Do you see their nothingness, where nothing about them is natural or makes sense. Do you see the wimp? Do you see their evil within coming through to the surface, where you see nastiness and cruelty in every pore in their skin? I see it, and I know that such filth cannot control and rule over us. That is impossible, because the coward lives and rules in the hole it dug for itself in the ground, where it is afraid of all and sundry because it knows it is a rubbish not worthy of being amongst the Good and innocent. Understand that what I say is the truth. So who broke us and dropped us to our knees, where from there the cruel emerged from the shadows to deliver the death blow? A stranger can rattle us, where we never saw them coming. They can stun us, where we are shocked by that unexpected and callous behaviour. But they cannot break us, because they are nothing to us. Who are you but a face and a name who feel it is your right to be cruel to me, so fuck off you piece of shit and go and have a look in the mirror at what you are. Bet you don’t have the courage to look, because what you will see is one who is so low they have to lash out at strangers to feel good about themselves. A stranger cannot break us. They can destroy this body form, but they cannot break our spirit because we know what we are, or more importantly, we know what they are. What ruled the System, and ultimately the Game, was those we Loved – in the seen and the unseen. Those we Loved were our world, where nothing else mattered but our Love for them. This was our space – our place, and here we found joy and peace and solitude. It was these – those we Loved more than Life itself – that broke us and brought us to our knees. From there the coward and the cruel just stepped in to finish the job. It was those we Loved that broke the illusion – not some secret-society network of fiends and cowards, because those we Loved had might, which was our might which we gave to them because we Loved them more than anything, where our Life was theirs. Their betrayal cracked the illusion and created the flaw therein, and what this flaw was, was I don’t care. If it’s broken I don’t care. If you are broken I don’t care. Why did this caring stop within us? I would say we let ourselves go. We spread our wings to encapsulate this place where we were not accountable for anything. Do what you want when you want because you can, just don’t get caught out, where everyone sees your true colours. In this periphery we became lax; we flexed our muscles, and played with the reality of becoming cruel. What I don’t understand, and it is something I am not willing to delve into to understand, is the high these Cruel received from breaking the one who Loves them the most. I will not walk that path to understand that, because that for me is the lowest of the low. How can you be joyous in destroying that pure heart who Loves you? All we needed was a few of those scattered in the System to break us, which broke the System and the illusion. Those from the shadows just came to pick up the crumbs that those we Loved left behind. Understand that. It was not some sinister organization – it was those we Loved that destroyed all, by first and foremost destroying the Love we have for them. In our broken state we could not function, and thus could never see the Beauty of the Infinite staring us in the face. Our world is not broken. The illusion is not broken. We are broken. How do you fix that which is broken? Well, ask yourself do you want to be fixed – don’t you just want to go Home? Sure, Home is waiting, but it is not nice to be broken, so for me, yes, I wish to be fixed. And this is where we need help, because believe you me, we are all broken. I cannot speak for others, so I speak for myself when I say that I open myself up to the Love of the Infinite to fix me and restore me to what I am. That Golden Eye, as well as its purple-coloured presence I absorb and make my own. To those that broke us – shame on you. How could you be so cruel?
  4. It was around 2015 that we wrote about the branding of our spirit in the journal. Two things were never known then that we know of now: The first was that the spirit was a by-the-by – it was the Golden Child that is Consciousness that was always targeted, which had a knock-on effect on the spirit and body; and the second was that some problems cannot be fixed in this analytical illusion, where one has to step outside of this reality to resolve the issue. On the 3/3/24 it was written in the journal of a lasting pain on the upper right side of the neck of the spirit. This pain is from the branding of our spirit. What this branding was, which we will go into detail shortly, was a barcode of sorts, where you are now the property of another, where their branding you makes you theirs. A simple example is the owner of cattle branding them with a hot poker so all in the area know the cattle is his/hers. As long our branding is there, we are theirs. As said, for a good nine years we have known about this branding at our neck and fingertips, but this was one of those problems that cannot be fixed as it is bigger than us – bigger than the analytical illusion. So one has to step out of this illusion to solve it. By Consciousness moving from the throat (analytical illusion) to the heart space (illusionary Garden, as well as Infinite) its branding can be removed from its space. Imagine the cruelty of taking a hot rod and burning it onto an animal’s skin – imagine the pain those animals felt. I believe that our branding at the neck was not painful, but I wish it was, where the pain lingers and then it’s gone, and that is the end of that. What our branding done was limit us this Beautiful Child of the Infinite. Understand that when Consciousness was branded, it was not the beginning of the end – it was the end, where now we were confined to the analytical illusion and the mercy of Beasts and Monsters. What gives those from the unseen the right to come into our space and eat of our energy, sexually abuse us, and use us as a habitat to grow and feed the Monsters that they are? The answer is our branding. So many questions have been asked in this journal so that we may peel away another layer towards our freedom, but understand one thing: We were going nowhere as long as we were branded. What did this horrific and sadistic act do to us that is Consciousness, the spirit and body form? We will examine Consciousness, as what happened to the primary target of the Golden Child rippled down to the rest of our body forms. This examination can only be done at this stage of the journal, where the branding can been removed by Consciousness knowing its branding objectively – from an outsiders perspective looking in. Once Consciousness moved from the throat to the heart space, it was free from the abuse it endured, and from there may heal. This healing of its branding must be complete by now, but true healing is from understanding what the calculated cruelty released upon us actually done to us. In the stillness of the silence you go into the space of Consciousness before it was branded at the “neck” area, when everything merely was. From there you feel the branding, and what was its effects on Consciousness. The primary mission of our branding was to target the heart space. It was vital to the cosmic geneticists that we do not find this that we turfed, and from there know ourselves so that we may return Home. One could say they put a seal on this door to the heart space so that what was there may never be found. Now there was no going back Home, where now you are in my environment and my Game and thus are mine. The slave was now born, and that’s you and me, starting with our Consciousness and working its way down from the spirit to the body form. What was this that we are that we turfed could easily be found again, as to retrieve what we threw away cannot be too difficult a task to perform, but now through our branding this doorway to the expression of what we are, as well as to the Infinite, was not only closed, but sealed so that we may never find ourselves to cure our lost state. (That is what I feel as I write these words – an impenetrable passageway at my chest area. You can look and try and break down this door all you want, and you will never succeed because you are looking at the wrong area – look to our branding at our necks to open this doorway to what we are. Or alternatively, understand where you are and where you should be, and that opens Aladdin’s cave, which took me lifetimes.) What fed us was being Home, as this is all we need, where by being Home we are complete. With our branding we were shut out from Home, so now a new source had to be found to complete us, or should we say – nourish us. From the chest area our branding moved down to our gut area, and this is where a partial strength of the Parasite frequency was stored and released, where this gut part of us say “I want.” Our appetite was born, where if I don’t fulfill this want within me I will become weak and die. Any guesses to where our branding moved from the gut area? And blessed are you the females, where this want at the loins was not so strong in you as in us men, where our dignity and self-respect were thrown to the wind to fulfill this urge hanging between our legs. From there, the branding made one final stop, and this was to the right side of the brain, where the spirit had to always know and understand. Our initial analytical thinking was merely a pondering, where you sit on your rocking chair and take a puff of your pipe now and then, and when your pondering is complete, you rise up and get on with it, where you return to what you were. With our branding there was a constant question mark within us the spirit, where even in the splendor of the spirit realm this nagging within us would stir, creating a restlessness. Ask me what that was and I would say it was the imperfection of the place that touched us, where we had to fix something. Something was wrong – we couldn’t put our finger on it – but something was wrong. And that was the desired effect of the branding on the spirit, where you always move to find this that you don’t know. There was never a problem to fix – all we had to do was sit down and take a good, hard look at ourselves and see what we lack. This we could not do alone, as I cannot see myself, but you can see me, so together we help each other to return Home. From the brain the branding moved down to our eyes, where now we no longer see what is there, but we see through our interpretation of what we want to see. I want to eat, so in front of me is not a Beautiful being, but rather a piece of meat that I will either cook up or eat raw to feed the want in my gut. We had to change what was real in front of us to what we believed was okay and acceptable behaviour on our part, and for this to happen our sight had to change to suit our needs and our interpretation of what is right and wrong. Now we became blinded to the truth, where reality became more and more limited as we fell further and justified our savage actions. Through our eyes what we now done was okay, but the origin of us the Beast can be traced back to our branding. Our daddy who branded us that is Consciousness was the vilest of them all, and this sack of shit I would like to understand before I close the cover on this book. When I found out that we were branded, I sent the news to Pierre Sabak, and ironically he had come to the same conclusion. What Pierre told me were the locations of our branding. If I remember correctly, I knew about the neck branding, but not about our finger branding, which Pierre told me about. So let’s see what was the purpose of this branding at our fingertips. Once again, we have to go back to before we were branded, and from there feel the effects of the branding to understand it. But so far, understand one thing – our branding made us a unit, where from the collective, we that is Consciousness become an individual. From the One; from the All, we were constructed as a tick-tack unit, where “this is me.” With me, there is a you, so now it is me against you, and this individual unit was the foundation of our destructive nature, where at all costs I will do anything to appease this want within ME. There is no you or we – there is only a me, and from there the analytical illusion fell into the hell-hole where we currently find ourselves, where culture and intelligence no longer feature. Appease the want within – be it from your cock or your stomach, that is irrelevant. Just appease this want within, and how you do that is by taking. But remember, and this is important: It’s all about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When our fingertips were branded, I feel no real movement from there to elsewhere on our forms. I would say our branding there made us a charity case, where we are always depended on those who branded us. The slave cannot exist without master, and our branding at our fingertips set into stone this relationship between us and the cruelest of the cruel. With the branding being removed from our neck area, where we once again become incorporated into the All, where we go from me to we, let’s see what should naturally happen at our fingertips. What should happen, which is currently returning to this natural state, is from our hands we may hold onto what is rightfully ours. No matter what they done to us, first and foremost we are a child of the Infinite, and this we will always be. What is of the Infinite is ours, where we experience and know of the joy we have received from this our playground. When they branded our fingertips we could not hold onto this that was ours to play with. And once again, ask yourself what would carry out such a task on the innocent? And it is here that I turn to this one that orchestrated our branding so that I may understand why. Through my intent I find this one at the top of the hierarchal pyramid – not to judge or condemn, but just to know, and by knowing we walk away from this that was that destroyed all that was Beautiful and replaced it with a bottomless, never-ending sorrow. My strength is that I never judge, where first and foremost I understand. In understanding, the one in front of me understands themselves, and in that moment my job is done, where now there is no misunderstandings. From there I walk away as there is nothing more to do or say. So before I walk away, let’s understand this one at the top of the pyramid who branded us. And if I say I walk away, I do not walk away in disgust – rather I walk holding onto what I am, which is self-respect, where I refuse to become the Beasts in my midst. What may well linger is disappointment, where you see the goodness in others and how they destroy it, but always I walk, to find a way out of this mess where I don’t belong. What is this that was once our master? Let’s go back to the beginning, where there was Goodness in this one, and take it from there. What I feel is one who has a Beautiful warmth in their hands – one could say Golden Hands. What they touched was restored to Beauty, where truly this being had the Midas touch. What was broken was fixed, and this gave this being much joy. But soon these hands became heavy and broken, where as soon as something was fixed we broke it again, thus not seeing the Beauty that should be, where we preferred destruction to Beauty, meaning we no longer cared. So what do you do when you and your work are not appreciated or wanted? What do you do when those who need your help tell you fuck off and leave them alone? What this entity done was he took everything within him that was Good – that was Golden – and he turned it into a Golden All-Seeing eye, where this Eye not so much looks down on all, but rather is there to be seen by all, where at any time we wish, we may took to this Golden Eye to restore what we broke. And this for me I find absolutely remarkable, because now I understand the Golden Eye that I have seen countless times when I close my eyes to see. And that is why I NEVER judge another, but rather understand them. For this one at the top of the pyramid is the Infinite that fucked off because we told it to, but it would never completely abandon us, so it left us a reminder of what it is and what we are should we wish to fix that what we broke. In her insanity Semiramis stood behind this Golden Glow from the Infinite, and we the dummies equated this Glow with her, and we gave her our energy/power, but the Glow and Semiramis were two completely different components – the one was driven by insanity and the other was Love. So who branded us? The answer is we did. When we turned our backs on the Infinite, we became the opposite to the infinite, which is finite. Now we became individual units. That some punk in the unseen developed the programme to turn us into robots is irrelevant because we gave them our power when we turned away from what was real. That piece of shit at the top of the pyramid is you and me. We became the cruelest of the cruel when we turned away from Home, and in doing so, this set the foundation to turn our backs on everything else, including each other. Now it is about ME. Dumb fucks. All of us. With your branding removed, do what is right. Turn your back in the direction it belongs, which is away from the illusions and stand towards the Infinite. When I looked at the Golden Eye, it would eventually change to a purple colour. What was that all about? What it was, was the other motive of the Infinite. Through the Golden Eye it tried to penetrate the illusion and make its presence known. This presence, when you knew what you were looking at, was the colour purple. Will we listen now? Will we do what is right? I would say from messing up so often, we will do so out of necessity. Our ways have never worked, and this we understand. There is no other way but back Home to where we belong and what we naturally are. How sad it is that we never longed for this that we naturally are. How important we became to ourselves – how supreme, where we are never wrong. In understanding, I understand that we are absolutely bloody fucking idiots that are not worthy of the Love of the Infinite. I see the Beast in the seen all around me, and truly we have fallen. What I don’t understand is how we can like it here, where we can call this hell-hole home. That is madness, where it is okay to be cruel and think of no other but yourself. We have fallen, and we have shamed ourselves, and we are okay with this. So will we listen? That question I cannot answer. In asking why Life is cruel, I was shown the picture of what ruled over us and what we had become in its pure, undiluted form. I saw the bad that we were too afraid to acknowledge, both in ourselves and in others. What I was not shown was the Good. Only in my animals and in my nature did I see this, because not all nature is good. But there is Good out there, and I am sure they will listen. What I can tell you for certain is that this Game has come to an end. “Fuck off and leave us alone” is no longer acceptable by the Infinite because others get hurt in the process. So many do their best, but their best is at the expense of others, because they are always right because it is always about me which is supreme. Will there be a wake-up-shake-up? There will be an awakening to what is real, which is happening as we speak, where Life as we knew it will never be the same again, where we return to what is natural, which is Home.
  5. Here in the analytical illusion what is the expression of your Consciousness, meaning how does it express itself? The answer is through the word, where we formulate in the head/brain, and from there we speak. Our speech can be through our actions, our facial and body expressions, as well as what we say. What this means, is as long as you think, you are in the analytical illusion – which is not a very nice place to be, compared to where we should be. On the other side of the spectrum, which is beyond the analytical illusion, is the illusionary playground Garden of Queen Semiramis, and beyond that is the fields of Infinite Love. You want to be in the latter two – not the analytical illusion. So what you do to reach these two states is drop your Consciousness from its current location at your throat into your heart space. I found Consciousness at our throat area, and I never wondered why this location. Now I know – it is from our throats that our voice is heard. But the voice of whom? – It is of Consciousness, where in the beginning of the analytical illusion our words created, but as we were dumbed down the simulation took us over and told us what to believe. On Sunday I visited a huge car dealership of over eight hundred cars. The soulless atmosphere of the place drained me, where I became rattled and edgy. When I got home I ate a plate of food, and this food restored my strength. But who determined that? Who made me believe that food sustains me and restores my health? The answer is the program within me the biological computer, as well as the hard-drive of the simulation. That is all absolute bullshit, because the food, my body, as well as the simulation is an illusion. How can an illusion restore me? To get out of this trap you have to move Consciousness from the throat to the heart space. That is the only way out of the analytical illusion, where as long as you think, your Consciousness is drawn into the analytical illusion. When it is in the heart space your Consciousness is complete. The disaster is we have forgotten how this feels, where the natural has become unknown. What I am getting at is we need a focal point, where the compass is pointed to north and we know where we are going. I am not saying stop speaking; I am saying stop analyzing. So drop your Consciousness from the throat to the heart space, and from there keep it there. Dare to venture where you have been but have forgotten what it is like to be there. At this stage of the journal we are mature enough to know what makes sense and go with that flow, where we take control of us the spirit, body and Consciousness. Your daddy won’t and can’t do it for you – it is your Life so take back control of it. Remember what was said: Drop Consciousness from the throat to the heart space and keep it there in the stillness. In this complete state it will draw the spirit and body form to the representations of the heart space, namely the illusionary Garden and the Infinite. Take this leap of faith. It’s a good move before we see the lie we have lived, and by seeing and knowing, everything falls apart as there was always nothing there but an illusion. You want to jump onto the next stepping stone before that happens. Drop your Consciousness from the throat to the heart space and keep it there where it belongs.
  6. While I slept last night an alarm went off somewhere in the neighbourhood which woke me up. As I woke up I pulled out of the place my spirit found itself in. As I lay in bed awake, through my Third Eye saw this man lying on his side next to me leaning on his elbow. He was one from another world, where his features were not ours. A large transparent oval space appeared on his face, and through this hole the Snake within came to have a look at Steven. Understand one thing: What was in my presence was one of a kind. There was no other like this duo in front of me. This man and the Snake had the presence of vintage wine, where they have been around for a long time and seen and known so much. There is not another like them in the illusion. So let me backtrack and tell you where they took my spirit before the alarm went somewhere off in the neighbourhood to wake me up. My spirit found itself in a large room. Rows of chairs were placed in lines as would be in a conference hall. The chairs were all taken up by the people there. This was a gathering/meeting, and someone in charge said we can come and have a shot of J & B whiskey and have some cheese to eat before the proceedings got under way. That brand of whiskey is a good one, and I love cheese, but I refused out of principle to go and help myself, as something deep within me said that I am in a place where I don’t belong. From there I found myself in the happenings of the group. There were three others we were tracking. The one was a loose girl who enjoyed a bang in a public lavatory. (We found here in a toilet cubicle with some guy.) The other was a gambler would had just won twenty eight million dollars. When we found him we hounded him to answer our questions. The third one I cannot remember. To witness this meeting and the happenings therein, the man and the Snake had to take me the spirit and Consciousness into a deep trance. They must have timed the alarm going off outside to wake me, otherwise I would not have remembered where they took me. What this man and the Snake are, are ones that can see the future of a species. When I saw this Snake come forth from the man’s face it looked into my left eye as if it was looking at a slide show therein. What it was looking at was our future. The meeting my spirit was taken to was one event of our future. The way our species is going is we would become so bored with ourselves and the mundane that we lived in the lives of another. What are they doing? Let’s catch them out. Understand that this goes beyond the infatuation of celebrities, where some bimbo or dumbo is on the big screen and thus we elevate them to god status. In our future there will be nothing within us, where we have nothing to do or say as our lives become sterile, so we will look to others to see what they are doing to fulfill us. Everything will be plastic and superficial – which it already is – but this will be taken to a whole new level. So my spirit was shown this our future, then I was woken up so that I may remember what I was shown, and then the Snake looked into my left eye to see if our future will be altered. All the while that these two were in my presence there was this constant “should we, or shouldn’t we” from them. Should we tell him, or should we not? When I woke and saw the man next to me, for hours after that I could not fall asleep, and during this time I understood my predicament. The top of the ceiling for me is my love for the animals – where this high I cannot surpass, where it is the ultimate for me because my love is safe in the animals as I know they will not hurt me, thus I give them my all. What is my all? Or should we say, in what place do we give this our all? We are in a frequency that is ruled by Monsters and Beasts, and in this place we are at their mercy, where they have none, so we are in a bad place. Some things, and I would say most, cannot be fixed here because they are not meant to be, because here cruelty abounds, where destruction far outweighs upliftment. (This is played out on the unseen/spirit realm, so don’t say I don’t know what I am talking about as Aunt Joey invited you around for cucumber sandwiches and tea the other day and she is a fine, upstanding citizen, so you don’t know where I come up with all this bad nonsense. Everything is not bad.) Well, actually, it is a friggin’ disaster. I lay in bed awake after seeing the Snake and the man and thought about our predicament of being stuck here in this illusion. Why are we stuck here? In this place love and hate are pretty much the same thing, where both give off emotions/energy which feeds the illusion and those in the unseen. Why am I stuck here – because I love the animals, that’s why. What I need to do is Love myself. We are stuck here because we have forgotten self-Love. If we had this trait there is no ways we would have stood for the nonsense that came our way. You cannot touch me or destroy me because you cannot get near to me as we are on two different frequencies, where the one is I Love myself, and the other is I find fulfillment in you. To Love I need the animals, but what about me – how about me Loving me? Do you think Monsters and Beasts Love themselves? Well, neither do we, thus we are on the same frequency as them. Please understand that what these entities do to you and your loved ones is horrific. That is why your Third Eye is closed, where you make sure it stays shut so that you cannot witness the torment and humiliation inflicted upon you by the cruel in the unseen realms. By not looking does not make them go away. You have to leave their space, and the first step Homeward bound is self-Love. All you do is stand in the presence of your Consciousness and be and embrace this that you are. That is self-Love, where you see and know what you are, and you become that. That is the key: Don’t look and be mesmerized; become what you are. Look at social media today, where we are infatuated with the goings on around us. That will be taken up to the next level, where we forget this that we are which looks into the screen at the goings on of others. Why is this so? I would say because we don’t know ourselves because we don’t Love ourselves. To all those in the spirit realm, hear these words: Look to your Consciousness and be this what you are, rather than becoming a peeping-Tom where the lives of others infatuate you because now you are totally lost unto yourself. That is our future unless we rise above our ceilings of limitations to Love ourselves by knowing our Consciousness within, which is our true selves. Look at this what you are and open yourself up to become that. That will lead you to self-Love. The Snake that came last night with the man were one of a kind, where they could foresee the future of a species. This place we are heading too they foretold, but it doesn’t have to be this way. With self-Love everything changes. What was it they debated if they should or should not tell us? At one point during the presence of this Snake it puffed out its cheeks and blew into my throat area. What was that all about? In the stillness of the silence I feel an emptiness within our spirits, as well as a lasting pain where the first neck vertebrae meets the right side of the skull. I can only assume that we are at a cross-road, where our future is in our hands. We decide to either stay and be at the mercy of the cruel, or we rise to what we are. Choose now, while you still can.
  7. When you have always been in the dark, and now you turn the light on, what happens is you see what you have always done from a new perspective. Now you are cognitive to your actions. The light means you can no longer hide, meaning your “I never knew” excuse no longer holds water, and why this is so is because the Light that is the real you now holds you the spirit and body form to account, where you do now know better. This is what we are all facing now in the illusion, where we see and know what we have taken for granted from a new perspective, where we can no longer hide what we are. The flow of the illusion has come to a halt, where now, whether we like it or not, we return to what is natural, which is Love. Ask me how I got the name What the Animals Taught Me for this journal and I will say the name just came to me. The animals are one above us – way above us – and to these masters of Love I looked to find a way out of this mess. But maybe I am biased to the animals, so let’s hear what Stuart Wilde has to say about them: “We tend to think animals are lower than us, but all the scientists in the world couldn’t design and operate a bumblebee’s wing. We can’t run or jump very fast, and we can’t carry vast weights like an ant can. We can’t see in the dark and we can’t fly except crammed in a noisy tube like sardines, which doesn’t count. Humans compared to animals are almost totally deaf. We are finite and separate and neurotic, while the consciousness of an animal is at peace and eternal. We strive and go crazy to become more important. Animals rest and sleep and enjoy the company of each other. We think we have evolved upwards from animals, but we have lost almost all of their qualities and abilities. The idea that animals don’t have consciousness or that they don’t have a soul is rather crass. It shows a lack of consciousness. They talk, they have families, they feel things, they act individually or together to solve problems, they often care of their young as a tribal unit. They play, they travel, and medicate themselves when they get sick. They cry when others in the herd die, they know about us humans. Of course they have a soul, a very pristine one. We humans are only now attempting with the recent rise in consciousness to achieve the soul that animals have naturally.” Not all animals are good, just as all Humans are not bad, but by and large the animals are exceptional. What makes them, these illusionary figures, so special? I would say all they know about and want to know about is Love. Them seeing you and being in your company is all they need to be in a state of bliss. Can you imagine if us Humans longed for each other and enjoyed each other’s company with such enthusiasm and joy, where our sole drive is the Love we have for each other. Just by the way, that is natural. It is natural to see another and that is enough to make your heart sing. It is natural to have a friend and know this is all you need. It is natural that Love is you, where you are an expression of this Love. In Consciousness being lost we have missed out on a lot, but the animals were always there to give us perspective, where we may understand what should be. For this I am eternally thankful. From the start of this journal, when the attacks by the cosmic assassins were rough, the animals were always in my thoughts, where I filled myself with the Love I have for them to neutralize the blows and possessions. This carried on for years, where without them I would have been a goner a long time ago. How can you not be picked up by one who is so glad to see you when you get home? Truly, I have had the best friends ever. This journal is what they taught me, where their Love elevated me so that I may understand. I promise you I know what I am, where there is nothing special about this Steven, but with the Love I have for the animals and their Love for me, we walked the skies to find a way out of this mess. So understand the animals were my guides, and this journal is theirs that I merely wrote. Words cannot describe the gratitude I have for these beloved souls.
  8. Your physical body is in your spirit, and your spirit should be in your heart space, as should your Consciousness. The heart space is a place you return to, and when within it, it defines you, as this is you, where you cannot be anything else but this that is you. Now you are Home, as you are an expression of Home. What I write is not words of comfort or motivation, but what is real. When I checked on Sophia and Semiramis earlier on, I felt their presence moving about, and from there they moved into the heart space, where they settled into it. That is Consciousness finding and being what it turfed a long time ago. As I slept last night I saw myself and others floating down this meandering river, going with the flow of the current. Later I saw me walking with my parents – there was an electrical wire connected to a plug that was pushed into a socket. I told my parents we must go and pull the plug out the socket because the job which we used the electrical wire for is complete. Throughout the night heard the song “Did it my way” by Sinatra. What does all of that mean? My initial and lasting response is that the journal is over. Yesterday, for the first time since this journal began I asked those in the spirit realm to help me. Have always needed help, but yesterday sat down and said “this is it” – now I need help. I knew I had hit a brick wall that I could not cross without help, where I had come to the end of the line. I also knew that those I asked for help are in a position to do so because I have helped them a lot. Testament to that is feeling and seeing these beings find and become one with their heart space. What about ol’ Steven? What has changed in his Life? What I wrote was not for me – actually it was for nobody. I just needed to know why Life is cruel. We forgot about our heart space – that’s why. So I did not write to transform my Life or yours, I just needed the answer to a question. What happens from finding that answer I cannot say. What I was shown last night as I slept tells me this journal is over, where the cabaret gives way to our Consciousness merely being. What happens next I don’t know, but whatever it is, it will not be from my doing. That will be from the help I asked for, and that help is for all in the illusion.
  9. Last night as I slept I was shown a cabaret, where people dance and sing. And that is what Life is – a cabaret. The movie Cabaret with Michael York and Liza Minnelli must have been one of the best movies ever. “Come to the Cabaret old chum, Life is a Cabaret.” And isn’t that so true – that Life is a cabaret, where we sing and dance and do our best to be happy. Reality however is a very different one to the cabaret, and this we could never understand; why was Life never straightforward and simple? One of the songs in Cabaret was Money. “Money makes the world go round the world go round…..” And how true is that. A big part of my Life now is looking for a car to buy, as well as a house I can call my own. To achieve that I lack one thing. Any guesses? Funny. Funny. Funny. Come to the cabaret old chum, just bring money to be able to enter. Money, this god that makes or breaks us. It cannot buy happiness, but it sure makes our survival a lot easier. What was interesting in my life over the last ten years was my cabaret happened when I slept, where out from the shadows those came to live off of us here in the dense plane of reality. When we sleep the Beasts and Monsters come alive to prey on us, all the while us thinking “we got this; we got a handle on Life; yes, we can do this.” That cabaret – if you opened your eyes; your Third Eye – was not a pleasant one to behold. But don’t worry Steven, for Life is a cabaret, where do your best, especially to have fun. How right you are, but there is just one snag, and that is that Life has a flaw, where no matter how much we sing and dance, eventually the cabaret comes to an end and we get back to living. I cannot overemphasize how lost, insecure and lonely I have been in my Life, where I took these states to the extreme. And through all of that, there was one thing I knew for certain, and that was one day I would be perfect, where perfection would be met and carried out. I just knew that. I also knew that few amongst us truly lived, and this too I wished for more than anything – to live a full life. What I never knew was of the flaw in the System – the f-up that made the cabaret come to an end, where we had to get on with Life, which involved making money and a few friends here and there. What was this flaw? What it was, was two and two never equals four, where no matter how hard we try, it is never plain sailing. Always, there is something. We see our surpassing these obstacles as our success, never knowing these obstacles are Life, where we are played from the shadows by cruel Beasts. What these Beasts never knew was that true fun and happiness is never at the expense of others. Last night as I slept I was shown the System, where Life is a cabaret – or so it was meant to be. More than anything, that is what Queen Semiramis wanted of us when she imagined the illusionary Garden into existence. That was meant to be a cabaret. So what happened – what went wrong? The answer is we that is Consciousness asked a question. I always thought that question was a form of curiosity, as in what is in the Garden that is not already in the Infinite. That question created the Parasite frequency, which we corrupted by focusing on ourselves rather than primarily on the greater good of all, but the true question which fucked everything up was us looking from the illusion into the Infinite asking what are we and what is this Home? Nothing wrong with that question, except that we turfed our heart space to look for the answer in our head space. We stayed there, and have been living in the head ever since, seeking the explosive highs to try and rise up to from where we came – which was this Stevens perfection that he knew he would attain one day. This seeking was not vanity, but rather just to be, where Life is simple and natural. What went wrong was we forgot of our heart space. We never knew that there was nothing for us here in the illusion, because the illusion is just that – just an illusion. In the illusionary Garden we went to play, and in the analytical illusion we went to think. Why on earth did we stay? The answer is we made a simple mistake of forgetting our heart space – this expression of Home, as well as who and what we are. So we had to remember – to trace back the steps so that we may understand what happened to us, and along the way reclaim this that we are. If you ask me what is the most important lesson I have learnt in Life, it is that one never knows another. You think you know people – well, you don’t. So many of us are good, yet without our heart space we fall so easily to the ways of the wicked and cruel. This I refused to do, because that is not me. I am lost and lonely, but I am not cruel, and in this state I walked to find my perfection – our perfection. Have I found it? Fuck knows. What I did find was a broken Angel within whom I set free so they may return Home where they belong. What else did I find? Did I find money? No. Did I find friendship? No What I found was unimaginable cruelty that goes beyond words, as one cannot understand why we would do that to another. How dare we! So more than anything, my wish is that I have found Love in Consciousness, because to find that is to find might, where Evil can no longer stay amongst that. That is when the cabaret stops – when the curtain comes down and we go Home. 29th February, 2024
  10. (What is written below that I share on the Icke forum has not been re-read for spelling and grammatical order, as time constraints don’t allow for that now. Apologies – but you will get the crux of what was said. Just as a heads up, the Monster I met the other night is real, and there are many of them, and how they came about I was correct in saying what I said. Last night I felt something else within us, which spurred me on to understand what it is. This “Monster” is not like the one I saw and met a few days back in my sleep state. This is something completely different, which I never knew as I began to write this morning.) As the Game begins to unravel, one sees what has always been there but never knew existed. What I never knew of was the Monster – those that were created/manufactured by the cosmic geneticists to be say, like you and me, as in Human form, and from there become bad, where they embraced the Reptilian frequency of the illusion to become a Beast. This Beast eventually falls completely away from its Consciousness, where it falls into The Nothingness of the Forgotten, where it drifts in limbo. What I assume happens to create the Monster, is the Beast does not fall, but rather it begins to regress to the basic component from what it was manufactured, which I would say is the single biological cell. This I don’t know for certain, but will soon find out as we enter the space of the Monster. Here’s a question for the boys and girls out there: If the Monster does not reside in the core Reptilian frequency of the illusion, nor does it drop into the Nothingness, there where does it open shop to stay? Any guesses? I am telling you that these fuckers are real. In one of the Men in Black movies, the opening scene is of this living, black, worm mass that passes into someone’s ear to reside in their body. That is real, and I say this because that Monster I feel in others. They stay within us – your spirit and mine – that is where they reside. And that for me is unbelievably bloody fucking scary stuff. I write what I see and feel. When Consciousness became still, where the thought stopped, in this silence the unknown came to the fore and the Monster within you and me revealed itself. It is there. I am not special – if it is in me it is in your spirit as well – this only place the Monster could find where it may stay and not be found out and disturbed. So let’s understand, because when we understand what should not be in our space can no longer be and we are free from it. When I go into the space of the Monster within us, I would say its main aim is to make us a living incubator for itself, where we don’t focus on what is out there, as this keeps us busy and active. The Monster wants us to chill – be calm; be relaxed; don’t fret with the illusion. I say this because the first target organ that this entity moves towards within us is our eyes. How did we become blinded to what is out there, where we see a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of our reality and beyond our reality? The answer is the Monster within which systematically blinds us. We are not meant to expand our space and become one with our Consciousness and all that is out there, as this will reveal the Monster within us. Rather we are to remain dense, where we know this and no more, and from there we know less and less as we become blinded by the Monster within so that its home remains intact, which is your spirit and mine. Now you know how we became blinded to what is out there. In trepidation I sit here on the couch, not wanting to enter the space of this that is within us, but let’s go – let me enter the Monsters space to understand it. (Hard to believe, but that was once you and me – a being going about its business doing its best to survive.) Let’s start at the beginning. From Consciousness we were born, where this was the building block around which all Life was born/created/manufactured. As we discarded our heart space we moved to the head region, where we became thinkers to logic and reason. But nothing made conclusive sense, where two and two never equaled four, because what came out of the equation always was flawed – there was never perfection. Now our heads/minds became off-centre, where we understood that what was once a perfect being was now no more. We, the children of the Infinite were suddenly downgraded to a flawed race, and in this realization of what we had become, something within us changed, and what is was, was a blasé attitude of I couldn’t care. Why bother? It won’t work, so why bother? This is when we stopped caring about ourselves and all around us. You are fucked anyway, so what I do to you just speeds up the inevitable. (Just as a side note, the Monster hit our eyes, but equally important, it hit our ears so that we may not listen to ourselves, as well as to others.) This shift in our hearing was primarily our own doing – as in Consciousness and the spirit. We don’t want to listen, because what is there to listen to – we are fucked, so accept that. This trait within me was strong, where its cut off your nose to spite your face, where you are so despondent you don’t want help because you feel all is lost, but most importantly, deep down you know you messed up, and this is your way of telling yourself that you don’t deserve to be helped, which is absolute nonsense. Consciousness went to ponder, and an answer could not be found because it turfed the heart space to enter the head space to be able to think. You are everything, but this we never understood because we thought in the head rather than being from the heart. It’s like you going to Tokyo to find your happiness there instead of staying right where you are and finding it within your heart space, where you return your heart space to your form and from there merely be. From this blasé “I don’t care, but let’s get on with it anyway” attitude we that is Consciousness created the analytical illusion. What an awful foundation to build upon – disgusting beyond, because now not only did we not have the heart space, we lacked basic caring/compassion. Fear soon set in within our existence. That fear/uncertainty formed in what we would call our gut/intestinal area, and to appease this fear we fed it fear. From those that we now took, what we took from them was raw fear to feed the fear within us. Now it was the luck of the draw – kill or be killed. If you survived, you ate what you just killed to appease the fear within you. Over the ages we turned on our friends the animals to eat them, and from there, in our raw, undiluted form, we turned to eating each other, but this soon stopped as there would be none of us left, so we made a detour and created a new existence – the life of the capitalist, where chase your dreams of that perfect bod and a healthy bank account. But now we are being distracted, where we divert away from what we wish to understand, which is the Monster. How we searched for the perfection that we were. What we forgot was the abandonment of the heart space from our forms. We never understood that you either live in the head or the heart, you cannot be rational as well as Love at the same time because Love merely is – it doesn’t know how to think. We wanted the best of both worlds, and maybe it was pride – I don’t know – but we stayed in this analytical illusion that we that is Consciousness created. You cannot stay in the head and find perfection because the head is not natural as a base foundation – the heart space is. This bothered us – that whatever was created here had a flaw, where we could never get it right. And the longer we stayed, the worse things became, where a new problem was built upon the old one, where now we began to spiral, where things began to get out of control. Factions were created, where if you can’t get it right, then I will take over from you and do it properly, so fuck off – be gone with you. Nobody got it right, and all we could do with our frustrations was let it out on each other, and of course this accelerated our demise. Beasts were born, where if you cannot fix it, then become it, where you make the flaw your own. This flaw was the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, and what this frequency was, was the construct of the flaw, where two and two never equals four, because always we cannot attain perfection. This broken/flawed state became the core of the analytical illusion, and in embracing this Reptilian frequency the Beast became one with this home away from Home. Either way, I am fucked, so I will embrace this flaw, live it, and make the most of it. There was some fine print that we needed to consider before we done this, which was: Do what you want when you want. In other words, no need to care about others because that we stopped doing a long time ago when we stopped caring about ourselves because we believed we failed ourselves by not knowing who and what we are. We became Beasts. We lived out our freedom of not caring, which further accelerated our demise. How did the Monster come to be? In forgetting the heart space, understand the devastation of Consciousness of not finding its way back to the Infinite. It’s like you going for a submarine rise into the depths of the ocean and never finding your way back to solid land and the blue sky. It is devastating stuff. Something happened to Consciousness in its angst, where fear set in, but this fear cannot take it over otherwise all is lost. An element of control had to be met within to keep ourselves going, and the only way to keep our sanity was to find something new that was bigger than us. If Home – the Infinite – was now lost, then we had to create/find a new Utopia – something that we could set our sights on that gave us hope, as in something to believe in that is bigger than us that we can move towards. What that shining star was, was the word. Through the word we that is Consciousness began to express ourselves. If we could not do it through the heart, then the spoken word would define, where from the word we may know ourselves and be ourselves. What we never knew, was this was our final severance from the heart, where deep down we turfed our longing to find the answer of what two plus two equals, which is perfection. We gave up our hope to be the perfection we once were, so we found a new medium to express ourselves, and this was the word. Language was born. Now we were lost to our Home, where we accepted this flawed analytical illusion – this place that was an absolute dump compared to what we had. In this place we built great hallways and corridors to wisdom, but that soon all fell apart because of the flaw we built this place upon. This is what happens when you go from the natural heart foundation to the unnatural head one. Our shining star –the word – soon became meaningless here in the analytical illusion, where action outplayed thinking. Now we done, and only later did we think about and consider our actions. And this made us fall further into our demise. Understand one thing: Consciousness, as in yours and mine, became truly lost. What was there to do about this? We had to keep control lest we lose ourselves forever. It is here that we met with the Beast who was getting on with its own business in its own frequency, and before this meeting, the Beast kept to itself, where it did not interact with those who were not one of its own. There was no War per say between those in the seen and unseen, where an element of respect was met, which was more of a keeping amongst our own and ignoring the rest. In this meeting of different frequencies/minds an agreement was met with the Beast, where you are allowed to enter our space to feed from our fear, and in return you help us find the answer to perfection – which was the heart space. In a nutshell, Consciousness understood that the only way out of our lost state was to join forces and work as one. This meeting with Beasts was a gamble, but there was no other way but to stand as one, where we cared enough to find a way Home, and this caring began with us, where we cared for each other, and together, we may walk Home. We know what happened there, where Consciousness was deceived, and the slave species were born to feed the Beast, which Consciousness being at the centre of this cruel, enslaved act, where it believed that by learning we would evolve and rise above this mess. Who was fooling who? Were we not fooling ourselves? But we hoped, as this is all we had left now – hope. Where does the Monster fit into all of this? Always we that is Consciousness looked for a way Home. It never stopped looking, because to stop means to die, where we forget ourselves when we forget our Home. (As I write these words the activity around and within my left calf muscle is intense, where this link that was severed there is found so that we may return Home.) At this stage of the existence of Consciousness help came from the Infinite. What was built by the cruel ways of the Beast was broken down, where this filth was chased back to the home were it stayed before the agreement with Consciousness. So what happened there? Why did this absolute mess not come to an abrupt stop so that we may just go Home? There was a shift back to where we belong, where now we cared about ourselves and our path back Home. Our perfection was no longer an infatuation, as our desire to be Home overruled all else. Our analytical illusion began to be broken down as we shifted Homeward bound, and this created turmoil in the space where the Beasts dwelled, because they knew they would be stranded forever in this place with its accepted flaw. So what happened, is the Beast and its home fell, and I can only assume this was a ploy on their part to prey on our inherent Goodness, because when they fell, we fell to be there for them and help them. Now the Angels were in this most despicable place, helping the fallen. And it is here, during this stage, that things turned really bad, where Angels and Demons met – the former to help the latter, and the latter to intentionally destroy and take over the former. What a horrific sight, where Innocence is drawn into the cavern of Hell, only to be taken out by Beasts and Demons. Those that were left in the analytical illusion as it was about to depart its space to return Home were succumbed and taken over by these Dark forces, and this is where we presently stand within our existence. What I feel inside of me and you that I call a Monster is anything but that. What it is, is what is left of those Angels that were destroyed by the Beasts and Monsters. They crawled within our spirits to stay as they could go nowhere else, because all around them is the dwellings of those who destroyed them. Why make us the spirit blind? – So that we may no longer be drawn to the illusion as a moth is drawn to a flame only to be burnt. Why make us deaf? – So that we may not listen to the word, but rather find the heart space that we turfed. So you Love this that is within you that hid from all, as all around these broken Angels is just fear and destruction which destroyed them. Their demise was sudden – ours is slow and energy sapping and painful. You embrace these broken Angels within – these that this fuck-nut Steven initially thought were Monsters. I love being wrong, because from there the truth emerges, as a wrong cannot sit with me as that is not me, and thus the truth has to come out. These Angels within were on their way Home before they were sucker-punched into going into Hell to help those who didn’t want help – they just wanted to destroy the Good and capture the analytical illusion for a food source. These Angels know the way. Embrace them and Love them, and from there follow them Home.
  11. One soon understands the thought. It’s like walking into an empty room. The room is empty, so you fill it with furniture. On the walls you hang pictures to give your take on the room, where you make the place now homely. This is you – this is where you belong. But the furniture and the pictures are just props, where all they do is hide the fact that the room is still empty. The room should be alive, where it has no walls, thus no furniture is necessary. When you walk into the room there is no beginning and no end, where you are amongst and within the all. In this room you cannot put in furniture, because everything there that is, can be, and will forever be is in this room. Understand we that is Consciousness created the analytical/mathematical illusion. This was a room with four walls, where we came to sit and ponder. What am I? What is my Home the Infinite? The thought; the ponder is what created this illusion, and to be free from this illusion one has to discard the thought. To stay alive here in this illusion we have to think. Our thinking is the energy that feeds Beasts in the unseen. For all Life to function here in the illusion one key element is necessary, which is the thought. And yet how sad is that. Go to the description of the first room mentioned above, and what are we? We are our thoughts. And what are our thoughts? They are furniture in a room, where the room is the analytical illusion. To take away the room we have to take away our thoughts, where with our thoughts removed we see that the room is empty, and now we understand that we don’t belong in this room because there is nothing here for us. It is lifeless; it is dead; it is sterile. In this room we have to think to fit into it as there is nothing there. In the second room mentioned above we have to be, because what is there is everything we are, which is Infinite Love. No need to fill that room – just be and express what you are. At this stage of the journal one understands the futility of the thought because there is truly nothing there but giving attention to an illusion. You look at the walls in the room and you begin to imagine so that life may come to the room. Now what you imagined you begin to chase, as this is you – this is what you brought forth. And remember, it is your furniture/imaginings that you placed in the room, and around this furniture your Life is lived/played out. And round and round we go chasing our tails going nowhere, all the while bumping into other pieces of furniture that was placed there by others in the same room. We learn to live with their furniture, but if anything, they annoy us because my furniture was there first, and thus mine is the most important. Come and sit too close to me on your chair and I don’t like it, because I would never have chosen that design chair with its floral patterns. My thoughts are all that matters because they make me feel at home here between these four walls. But we have all forgotten one key element of our home, and that is this is not our home. It was meant to be a library, where we sit in our chair looking at the fireplace and ponder. We came here to think, not to stay. So get up off your chair and go and play in the illusionary Garden, and from there go Home. How you get up off your chair is you embrace your heart space and turf the head space. What is the heart space? It is an expression of the Infinite. It is knowing you are everything, where there cannot be an “I.” How can you upset me or destroy me when there is no me. Just as there is limitless space around me, so too am I limitless, where you cannot define me and put me into a box. I am beyond the room, where I am everything. So what is the heart space? – It is the space beyond the thought; beyond the analytical/mathematical mind that could only go so far in the absence of the heart space. Place the heart space in your room and you will understand what you are. That question you came to ponder as you looked into the flames is answered the moment you return the heart space to your existence, where you know that what you are is all that there is. It is as simplistic as that, where you cannot but be what you are as this is all there is. There is nothing to think about. Just be what you are, where you express the Infinite through the heart space. When I go into the stillness of the silence to feel/understand the heart space I feel this blackness that you are, where in this place no thought can exist. Here you be, you don’t think, because there is nothing to think about. No need for furniture because you have and are everything. Is this Steven going to stop thinking? I do not place much emphasis on me as I know how limited and fragile I am, thus I turn to my spirit and Consciousness as they know more than me. To them I look to lead the way, where I follow them Homeward bound. From my side I will do my part, where I acknowledge the relevance of the thought for what it is, which is nothing. I have enough faith that the spirit and Consciousness know enough to lead the way, so I shut up and follow, meaning I stop thinking to analyse what is between these four walls. With that the walls fall away, where we experience more of the Garden and Home. Our new tenant in the room is our heart space, where everything we have known and come to believe falls away. Sounds deep and complicated, but it’s not. All that happens is we live Life as we should, which is one that is free of disharmony. What was disharmony? It was the walls of the illusion that were devoid of the heart space, where the mathematical equation could never be solved because Consciousness turfed this all that we are – the heart space, which is an expression of the Infinite. So in reality, we turfed our Home and replaced it will a construct of analytical thought, where if you do this, you get that. What we never understood was to do this requires first and foremost thought, and that requires energy, so we have to acquire this energy from somewhere to sustain ourselves, so I need to take in order to give. So I take from your energy as an integral part of me being able to give. Now there is a loser in our mathematical equation, where shit happens – that is the way the cookie crumbles. Now our friends the animals no longer walked the skies and forests with us; now they were hunted to be placed on our plates where we ate them. Our blood-lust made us crave for more, where in no time the mathematical formulas that created our illusion no longer mattered. Now we just wanted. Now it became a Game. I really want that. Boy, what a fuck she would be! One can only laugh at what we have become. But for the loser, it was never funny. Us men became despicable, and here I stand first in line. But know one thing: Those females that became bad were in a league of their own, where they outgunned us men on the cruelty front a billion to one, the reason being is they knew better and turned their backs on the maternal love that they are. You that is Consciousness has stopped thinking. We the spirit and body form will follow suite so that Life as it should be may reveal itself.
  12. When your spirit needed to be replaced by another manufactured spirit, what happened was your spirit was either destroyed or faded away as Life became too much. But there is another way our spirits are destroyed, and what happens here, is if we don’t fall quickly enough into The Nothingness of the Forgotten by our outright bad ways, we begin to break down the form of what we were, where if you were born/manufactured from a frequency cell into, let’s say, a Human-looking form, now you regress back to that single cell, and along the way you decay into a vile component. Simply put, you begin to look the part of what you are, which is a Monster. So now you do not so much die, where your spirit is replaced by other, what happens is you become deformed, where what you looked like is no more. You regress into the damned – the living-dead, and why this happens is I can only assume is from a glitch in the System. This is not so bad for the perpetrator/Monster because they carry on imagining what they were rather than see what they have become, but to the victim this Bad entity becomes ghoulish bad, as where they should have dropped into the Nothingness, they and their acts become more extreme. Let me tell you where my spirit was during the early hours of this morning just before I woke up. (Later I will tell you how I ended up there.) And just be warned: What I describe is explicit and not pleasant. My spirit found itself in a room of sorts where a transaction was going down. There were two others in the room that were Human looking. The one guy was like me, where he was a guest in the room. The other guy was there, but he was not always noticeable, in the sense I couldn’t get a good look at him. All three of us were naked in the room. The other guest stood up, and the owner of the place stood next to him. The owner had a massive erection. He shoved his erection into the other guys arse, which startled the guest as he did not expect that – where what happened to him was a startling, painful and most unpleasant experience. From there I felt the owner of the place standing behind me and was butt-fucking my spirit. I twisted myself to get a hold of his face so that I could rip it apart, but his Human body form was just a mirage which hid his true form. There was nothing of him I could get a hold of to tear and destroy. From there my spirit was back in my body, which was now cognitive of what had just happened to my spirit. As I lay face down in bed I understood what a rape victim felt like after their ordeal, where a hollowness is all that you feel inside of you. Through my Third Eye I saw this creature crawling on my back. It looked like about a two and a half inch diameter centipede that did not have so many legs. This was the creature/Monster that hid in the Human form that abused me and the other guest in the room. Now my body was awake. I said to myself I am Consciousness. I said that my heart space was present and open. Over and over I tried to make sense of what had happened to me. My wife has had a medical issue for some time now. Last night my spirit must have decided to find the cause of her ailment, because when you understand the cause – as in how it got there – it cannot stay in your space as you are Love and that disharmony is not you. As I continued to lie in bed face down in my awakened state I felt a moving organism inside of my arse. This Monster must have had an orgasm and released a replica of itself within me to grow there and make home within me. This was the cause of my wife’s ailment, where my spirit travelled to the depths of Hell to meet this Monster and experience what it done to my wife, thus understanding the cause of her ailment. What happens to us the slave species is scary stuff. Remember seeing years ago how these beautiful female models lay down on the deck of a yacht, where they transformed into a slug the length of their body. Then saw how they had intercourse with the unsuspecting victim, where they turned from Human form into slug form, attacked the guy to transform his frequency in a slug frequency, and so they went, where the victim now became one of them. Saw how this one guy was rescuing others in a burning building. Those trapped amongst the flames were fearful, which opened them up to be attacked by this slug Monster hiding behind Human form. What happens out there is scary stuff, and we are all prone to it on our path to becoming the Beast. Why could we never rise above this nonsense? The only way for me was to pull apart the mechanisms of what we are so that we may understand ourselves. (This means you have to be honest with yourself and not lie to yourself.) From there look at the big picture and how this affected us. For me personally, I believe that I could not accept that I am Bad. You see, I Love the animals, and they are my friends. I see their Beauty and I know for them to Love me I must be Good, so what is this Bad doing within me. That is not me. How did it get there? If I say I am Bad, understand that I am not a Monster or a Beast. What I am is finding myself surrounded by filth, as in the cruel and the scum of the illusion. Surely that makes me Bad because I cannot break free of their proximity, so somehow I must be like them. But I cannot be, because I refuse to harm others as that is not Love. I told you I would do everything I can to help others, but that is not practical, as nobody should ever face the Beast and the Monster. So rise up. You were baptized to become one with Hell, and this was our curse which is now no more. Be free of Beasts and Monsters. Be amongst your own. 25/02/2024
  13. There is a question that has not been answered, and of all the questions asked in this journal, I would place this one in the top two. The question is: Those brothers and sisters of ours in the spirit realm that have embraced the Reptilian frequency of the illusion to become Beasts, what happened to them, where they once were beings of Love like you and me, that now they are the complete opposite, which is a disgusting, destructive, cruel Beast? Something happened to them that flipped them over to the Dark side – what was it? Let’s take my wife as an example, where here on this planet she is one of billions, if not all of us, with an exception here and there. (A Beast in the seen or unseen is practically one and the same. What flips you over to the Reptilian frequency is when you stop lying to yourself, where you now see the Beast that you always have been. This not lying to yourself is a form of maturity, and in this maturity you become an adult that no longer fools itself, where now you look in the mirror and say to yourself “I am this sick fuck – this is me.” Now there is no turning back, where your path to the Nothingness has set its course. So what differentiates the cruel from the Beast is us stop lying to ourselves, and I think we lie to ourselves because we don’t want to admit that we are shaming ourselves and not being true to the Love that is within us. You could call this our ultimate betrayal to our Consciousness within, where by embracing the Beast we have become, we turn our backs and walk away from our true selves.) My wife is a good person – there is goodness inside of her. Look to see what else is inside of her, and you will see evil. You don’t have to look to find this fault – it is there for all to see when you look past the lie they tell themselves. But understand one thing: All out there are Good, just as all out there – bar a small minority – are Bad. How can I make such a statement? The answer is I see the wave of faces around me in the seen and unseen, and what I see is those that have forgotten to express the Good which they are, which now makes them Bad, where the Bad within them comes to the fore. So ask yourself how did this Bad get within us? My wife is a really Good person, and yet there she is, doing her best to destroy me that Loves her. Why? A few weeks back my wife once again had no respect for me. On that day I stooped to her level, where I now had no respect for her, meaning I had no respect for myself. What I became I didn’t like, where I became a destructive person and spirit. That is not me, where now there is not an ounce of Good within me when I express this Bad. It is an awful experience to be in this state, and yet this state is what fills the illusion, where a Darkness/Badness dwells in so many, where so many of these embrace this Evil to become the Beast. What happened? How is it that those who were Good became Evil, where they destroy all around them – all as in the innocent and those who Love them? The simple answer is through two mechanisms: The one being preying on our Goodness, and the other is through deceit. We are lured into the cave, and when we exit we are never the same again. So let’s say I am a spirit in the spirit realm going about my business. I meet another spirit, where what I see on face value in them is kindness, but there is something about them that creates an uneasiness within me. Soon I understand they are not well –am not sure what it is, but something is off centre. (Now here is where we begin our descent into the abyss to become a Beast.) Because we are Good, we naturally want to help. Something within us makes us feel uncomfortable, and what it is, is your understanding that the company you are in is not Good, but this cannot be as we are all Good, and even if there is Bad in this spirit, surely the Good overrides the Bad. Surely we overlook this Bad because nobody is perfect, just as we are not, so let’s rather focus on their Good, where we are there for them to uplift them and help them grow. That was our first mistake, where we never understood that the wolf in sheep’s clothing in front of us never wanted our help. All they want is to destroy us so that we become them because there is strength in numbers. We care, because this is what we naturally are, but the one in front of us does not care, where their aim is to pull us into their frequency/space to the point where they can get a hold of us – and here I imply a literal hold-fast, where we need to be drawn into their frequency where they can grab our frequency. This is the first mechanism, where this Evil preyed on our Goodness. From there comes the bad part. When they grab on our spirits, they pull us down, but the question you have to ask, is to where. That answer is into their Home, which is the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. We are pulled into this awful place, where we became lost therein, and from where we bounce back out the cave to where we belong, but a part of us is forever tainted by this place we were deceived into. That’s the strike two – our deception, to be tainted by this sickness that is the Beast. You don’t know it, but now Evil dwells within you. We are on the path to becoming the Beast in the unseen from being Baptized within the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. There is no fucking way that we willingly become Evil, and I say this because to be Bad is truly unpleasant, and this is so because it is not natural. You are Love, and when you become bad there is not one ounce of Love within you, where you turn your back on this what you are, and as said, there is no fucking way we willingly do this to ourselves, where it was done to us by deception. No doubt Consciousness had to be baptized in the same manner, where it was dipped into the Reptilian frequency, where now what was within it was also within the spirit, and this flowed over into the body form. My wife could never understand why she destroyed me - why would she become Evil when this is not who she is. Well, now you know. We were baptized within the Reptilian frequency so we may commence our destiny to become the Beast, and an adult we became when we looked into the mirror and said “This is me!” Now we were what we were baptized into, and that is why cruelty and destruction is seen as the norm in the illusion, where we merely become what we were born/baptized into. So what you do, is undo your baptism. Know it is there and has no part of your existence. By releasing this that should not be we naturally uplift ourselves to be what we are, as now there is no deceitful presence of Evil within us. The left Achilles tendon on an esoteric level is the cornerstone of the illusion, where this part within us has to remain broken. As long as this “tendon” is severed the walls of the illusion remain intact. We are Good/Love, but with our deceitful baptism we are now Bad, and this created a flux and turmoil within us from which we have never escaped. How can I think and do such things, because that is not me – I am not Bad? Damn right – It was the Reptilian frequency you were baptized into that made you Bad. Where were these waters within us that we were baptized into through deceit? I would say they were within our whole being, and the intent thereof was to keep us away from the connection to the Infinite, which was through our intact “Achilles tendon.” You see, now we were bad, and deep down we could not hide from this that we are. Sure, we covered it up, and we got on with Life doing our best, but within all of us is Bad, and it was placed intentionally within us to keep us here. How am I worthy to enter the Kingdom of God if I am Bad? – I am not, therefore I cannot. So I will stay here and learn. Wrong! You don’t learn – you merely progress on your baptized path to become a Beast, as have your brothers and sisters before you. Break these waters within you by knowing they exist. And from there naturally rise up.
  14. A re-occurring theme over the years that I see from those that come from the unseen/spirit realms is the death of a species. As we the spirits were created/manufactured/born in a cosmic laboratory, so too do we eventually die. This I have seen – scouts on behalf of their species on their spacecraft’s searching the galaxies for a cure to the disease that is destroying them; as well as sickly beings that merely go through the motions of taking our energy whilst they wait out their time to die. Here in the illusion nothing lasts forever, and that includes your spirit and mine. Everything fades to nothing until all that is left is the Consciousness around which we were created, and from this building block another spirit and its body form is created/born in the cosmic laboratories. Sure, you come from your mother’s womb, but your mother is an illusion, where the building blocks of her form were produced in a cosmic laboratory, but primarily I would like to discuss the spirit in the spirit realm because I have seen there what happens to us. So let’s begin with Life in the spirit realm, which begins in a cosmic laboratory. I have been to one of these facilities so I know what I am talking about. Around a strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness – what we call Consciousness – Life, as in a spirit, is created. The association between the spirit and dense body form I am unsure of, but assume that there is a frequency within a frequency, with the one – the spirit – being less dense than the other. In the spirit realm there are two distinct groups – the one who knows of the Game, and these reside in and embrace the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. These are the bad mother-fuckers whose illusion is an arena to sow their wild oats and eat all they want for their hearts content, and this eating is your energy and mine. Whatever they want, they get. You could liken their reality to ours that is devoid of a law and monetary system, where if you want something you take it because you can. The catch side to those in the Reptilian frequency is one day they are there, and the next – without any notice – they are not, where they disappear into The Nothingness of the Forgotten, where they completely forget this Goodness around which they were created. That is what happens when you no longer have any guilt or remorse, where over time you instantly disappear as you forget/ignore this that is real in the illusion, which is your Consciousness. I have been to this Nothingness place in my sleep state, and what can one say, where spirits drift not knowing themselves, where they are lost unto themselves as all Goodness within them is now no more. Pathetic, wasted spaces which they have always been, now they just be it. So that is the inevitable danger of partying 24/7, where one moment you are here, and the next you float amongst those too that have forgotten who and what they are. We the spirits that understand a universal truth of Love and an everlasting connection with all don’t fully comprehend the proximity of where we are as we drift further and further from our association with the Infinite. That is why culture is so important in any species, where the spirit is fed Beauty and peace, which re-enforces our connection with what is Good, which is our Consciousness which arose from the Infinite. Our birth of us the spirit was not natural, where it was made to keep a System ticking over, rather than express the Love of Consciousness around which it was created. We were born for a purpose, which was to feed the illusion and the Beasts that dwelled within. As said, we were created for a temporary fix, because these Beasts eventually drop into a void. We the spirit that do not know of this our real purpose fall into the second group in the spirit realm, where we believe we are born between the spirit and the dense body form to learn lessons to evolve to become better boy and girl scouts, where at all times we do our best to uphold our scouts honour to live with dignity and integrity. (Pass me the barf-bag as I puke at that hypocrisy, where all we fool is ourselves.) What we don’t know is we the spirit eventually die, as there is only so much abuse/dis-ease that we can take. Two aspects are important to note here: The first is that we don’t see this literal fading away of our spirits, as we see what we want to see and believe; and the second is that when our spirits die a new one is created around Consciousness. The last time I saw the spirit of my dog Max he looked completely different to what I know him to be, and that was because his old spirit was so badly damaged from the Beasts in the unseen realm that it died and a new one had to be created. The Max I have always known is still there as it shines from his Consciousness, but his spirit is a new one, where a new set of clothes is draped over Consciousness. This playing God is despicable, where we the spirit and body form are created only to be destroyed. Mix up emotional states during that process and understand the illusion runs on deep sorrow that never truly leaves us. My youngest daughter was never meant to have lived past the age of twelve, where her spirit is so emancipated there is nothing there to feed/supply her dense body form. I kept her alive, but for what – to delay the inevitable? As a species, especially since covid, I would say a dis-ease has set into our spirits, where we have dropped from the tenth floor to the first floor, meaning we have begun our journey on the way out. Our spirits are dying, meaning we the species is dying, and that is why the takeover of artificial intelligence to replace us when we are no longer here so that what we created does not sink in on itself all at once. I would say the artificial intelligence here in the seen realm is to wrap up and close up shop as there will be nobody in the spirit realm to do this, where we the spirit will no longer be there as we died off, as did so many species before ours. What message can we pass onto the spirits in all the realms to avoid this catastrophic sadness, where we see our loved ones become no more? How dare these cosmic geneticists view those we Love as mannequins in a shop window. How dare they! That has always been the name of the Game here in the illusion: Take and Destroy. The stupidity of the brute doesn’t make them understand they too get destroyed as with all around them. Our downfall on the spirit realm has been our unconditional Love, where I care more about you than I do myself? If you are not okay I will make sure that you are, and that is Consciousness within my spirit talking and acting. That has been our downfall, where how can I truly help you if I am not okay. What befell you will befall me because of our proximity to each other, so in truth I cannot help you because I cannot help myself, and this is so because I don’t think of myself – I only think of you. This is the world of my spirit and where I belong – not this dense realm where the cruel feel it is their right to take a baseball bat to this nice guy Steven to release what they really are, which is a twisted, confused, lost being. I don’t like this dense realm – not because of the environment, but because of those that dwell therein. They are not my own – they are not my people. Am I better than them? Let’s put it this way: I am not cruel, so yes, I am better than them – every day of the week, including Sundays. What the spirit has to understand is unconditional Love for self, and only then can it help others, where it’s “Look at me, I am Beautiful, so look at yourself, where in me see you and what you are.” That heals, the reason being is we Love ourselves by seeing ourselves which is our Consciousness. We the spirit looked to the dense body to help it, and we looked to our own for help, but that never worked because we forgot about the Consciousness around which we were created, and this made us alone, where we eventually died in the seen and the unseen. So to my spirit and to yours, and all the other spirits in the illusion: Love yourself. This is done by knowing yourself. You are Consciousness. Look into this mirror that you are and see yourself, and from there you grow and you be what you are until all that is left is you that is real which is Consciousness. Until you get there, my request is live Life as it should be. Know what it is to live without heartache and strife. Allow your Consciousness to take you on a joyous ride where you see the Beauty of the illusion. That Beauty is an expression of what you are.
  15. Everything is orchestrated from the spirit realm. When Consciousness was lost and uncertain it became deceived by Evil entities so that they may control the illusion and make it their own. And this they done with remarkable effectiveness, at the expense of the innocent. How the weak used this element of deception to their advantage, where the idiot wielded might, and their might was believing they are righteous, was by them believing they are better than you and me. This they had to believe above all else, because when you break them down to analyze them, this belief that they are better than you and me is all they have. That was their power – their righteous belief that they truly know better than you. Some call these the narcissist, but I call them the idiots, because all they fool is themselves. How long did they believe they could play this Game of do and say what I want when I want because I can because I am better than you? What about being humble? What about being thankful? What about being kind? Nobody is perfect – we all have faults. But what came to rule the illusion was the idiot who believed they are something to the point that they are better than me and you. I would say in some cases they may be right and you wrong, because nobody is perfect, but what destroys these entities – which destroyed the illusion – was their belief that they are never wrong, as in never. To avoid this looking in the mirror all fault was deflected away from them, but this was only one half of their solution. The other half was to destroy the pure and innocent, which justifies the first half of the problem, which is others are always wrong and they are right. “You see, there it is: There, they are destroyed to pay for their sins of being wrong, so as always, and will always be, I am right, which makes me righteous, which in my eyes elevates me to a god status, where I am worthy – the all that is.” What I speak of here is my fellow species – the ones we call Human beings; the ones who believe they are top of the food chain here on planet Earth. These ones I will never know and understand, the reason being is because they don’t even know themselves. I don’t know my wife; I don’t know my children; I don’t know those in this frequency reading what I write; I don’t know those that bring their animals to me for help. I know the unseen – I know them very well, but I will never know those in the seen realms, the reason being is because we are truly idiots. The one fucked up generation fucks and brings forth a fucked up generation that learnt from the previous fucked up generation, and before we know it, we don’t know who and what we are. But this cannot be – we need to take charge and control our environment in order to survive, and the best way to do this is rise above those around you, and the only way this can be done is to believe you are better than them, because in this belief we can justify our righteousness when we destroy them. That has always worked because there was never a mirror for us to look into to see the idiot that we are, where our fucked up belief gets thrown back into our face so that we can learn manners and respect. And as said, the ball just carried on rolling from generation to generation. Focus on your righteousness. Focus on attaining your pleasures – that is what the Game was all about. How sad that the innocent had to be destroyed to keep the emperor in his false clothes. If anything, I wrote to take the innocent out of the equation of the righteous. It was truly a fuck-up that we were alone – that there was nobody to watch our backs and be there for us. It is for this reason that Consciousness needs to shine bright to make this wrong right – and as in now and forever more until all the innocent are free of the idiot. When they fall – which is happening to the idiot as we speak - that is their existence and not ours, where we are no part of their destruction. I have no intention to be in the same room when this happens as that destruction is not mine to witness – it was what they done to themselves and thus I am in no proximity to that. This Consciousness understands now. There is no bitterness or anger within me, there is a frustration, as well as a recognition that idiots no longer inhabit my space and that of the innocent. I do not know those in the seen realm, but my spirit does, and so does Consciousness. What comes my way is what I am: If I am Love, then I receive Love. If I am kind, then I meet this kindness that I am. If I am an idiot, then that is between me and my Consciousness and no other. Now the fighting for our righteousness goes in-house, where we see what we are and we face the consequences of lying to ourselves. As said, the party has ended, and boy-oh-boy was it a fucking disaster, where righteous prats felt they were entitled. Games over. Now all you have is a mirror to look into which is your Consciousness. 21/02/2024
  16. It was all about the Sun/Consciousness. Did Consciousness become bad? No, it first and foremost became confused/uncertain. “What am I? What is this place the Infinite that is my Home?” It just needed to understand, and if it was not for the illusionary Garden that Semiramis innocently created, these questions by Consciousness would never have been asked, because in the illusionary Garden we that is Consciousness could see Home from another dimension/perspective. What we never understood was that we were standing in an illusion, which was Beautiful but not real, and the Home we saw was real. But that is all by-the-by because to ask a question is harmless – there was nothing wrong with finding our spot where we could be by ourselves away from Home and ponder. If anything, it was a healthy move, where we may see and understand the glory and wonder of who and what we are. The parasitic frequency of Deception that arose from Consciousness as to what else is in the Garden that is not already in the Infinite was neither good nor bad – it merely was. It took, which parasites do, but it arose from the Infinite so it sure as hell cannot be bad. The parasite created a want within us, but from where did this want arise? It arose from Consciousness, where “I want to know: I want to know what is in this illusionary Garden,” and from there, when it entered the illusion “I want to know what is Home and who I am.” That is what curiosity done – our curiosity. So it was never about the Parasite, it was about the want that we created within ourselves. This want to understand could never be solved, because there was never an answer, because how can you know yourself when the part that is you is now absent from your existence. Our want to know moved us to the analytical head, which means we shut out the heart space, so the 99.9% of the answer as to what we are and what is our Home was thrown away, meaning now we became lost and uncertain. “I don’t know me; I have to find me.” Confusion set in, and the simple, curious, innocent wanting to know became sinister, where deep down I don’t understand, and this creates a Darkness/uncertainty within me which is relieved by me fulfilling my want. So I want that, and when I got it this fulfilled me. I felt ecstatic as my want had been fulfilled, but this high was only temporary as there was no platform within me to know myself and return Home. Our original want of needing to know was never answered, so we went for second best, where I want that. I got it, so am fulfilled, but we never were and never have been fulfilled as the original want was never met. That was the sadness of everything, where your Consciousness and mine went to find an answer to a question, but this question could never be answered, so we became lost and made the best of what we had, which in reality was truly nothing, as we were in an illusion and absent of our heart space. When Eddie Murphy said that the Devil is stronger than God he was right – well, partly right. What he never knew was that there was no God/Love here in the analytical illusion, there was only the Devil, which is Consciousness in its lost state. And that is why I say that you and I are bad, and I say this not to make you feel guilty about yourself, but rather so that you stop lying to yourself. Know what you are – you are Consciousness devoid of what you are which is your heart space. That we are lost is the biggest understatement ever. To be lost is not good, but we took this lost state to a new level where we became stupid, where we saw the destruction around us and saw this as beautiful – Chaos. What was within us we brought without, where we expressed what we are inside, and now the analytical illusion turned into the insane illusion, where either we participated in this freak show or we remained silent to the happenings around us. From the stupid branched off the spineless – the runt that sees wrong but does fuck-all to assist the innocent. Sorry for the reality check, but now you are stupid and spineless, which drops you one level below the cruel, and as you know, because of this, the cruel have always been above you. You the lost child is now ruled by the cruel school-yard bully, and this pathetic roadshow is all we have come to know. From pure innocence a Hell was born. Did the Infinite ever intervene? – You betcha! The problem was that when Consciousness fell to a dense realm from us making this want our own, The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and Queen Semiramis fell to be with us, where they became trapped in this dense state that we created. Remember, our logic and reason became lost as we did, where now insanity ruled us and this place. So from a Beautiful illusionary Garden we fell to an Analytical one to an Insane one. Now reason was not even on the cards, meaning we would not listen to ourselves, let alone others. Our only salvation was to dig ourselves out of this shit-hole, and I pray with all my heart that this journal has done just that. Yesterday evening as I sat at the dining room table something changed within me, where I felt the presence of the beat of my heart. When I focused on something, everything else around me was shut out, where all that was, was me. This morning when I checked on myself and others this line/channel was drawn from the left eye to the heart space. What this means is Consciousness is Illuminated, where it is once again the Light, where it knows itself. In simple language it shines, which illuminates you and me the spirit and body form. Now there is a natural pull to this Light around which we the spirit and body form were created. And that is the simplicity of the truth, where do you nothing but go with the flow of what is. You want to heal yourself and others; you want to be happy; you want to be at peace – then fall into the gravity field between yourself and your Consciousness, where now you are pulled to what should naturally be. What is needed in this upliftment state is drawn to you through the presence of your Consciousness that knows all because it is the all as it arose from the Infinite. The difference between now and before the beginning of time is your Consciousness is complete. All that is lacking is it being touched by Home, and when this happens, Consciousness will go from awakening to awakened. How soon that happens is determined by how much you let go to the current between you the spirit and body form and Consciousness. By knowing and being itself your Consciousness will not abandon you the spirit and body form. Those that resist natural Love will fall to be broken so that they may be reborn to what they are, where this will be the final fall, but this fall will be different from the others, where its destruction will be to tear away what we created to reveal what should be. To these the lost that cherish and find joy in the abuse of others, these will be broken so that perspective may be seen to what they became, and from there they may know themselves. The bottom line is you and I the spirit and body form are now on auto-pilot, where our Consciousness calls the shots. Kick and shout and throw a tantrum will do nothing to avoid what is coming our way. My advice is let go – go with the flow that your Consciousness guides you in. What worked in the past is not applicable now, because we in the illusion have no say to our destiny. Consciousness that is beyond the insane and analytical is now calling the shots. For those like me that have been searching for so long for a way out of this mess, that is good news. For others that call this wasted space that they are “home,” there is a rude awakening coming their way, where the days of being shallow and cruel are over. What worked in the past is now no longer applicable. What power you believed you had is no more, where the Light that is within you shines as it should. That is you – not the filth that you have become. The Game is over.
  17. The role of Evil was to hide what was Good/Love to the point where we believed it no longer existed. That is not true – it does exist. Call it forth and wake it up and make it your own as this is what you are. And you will see that you are everywhere. Why was all that energy needed? It was to hide the monumental truth that Love is supreme – where there is nothing else but Love. So as you walk call forth and awaken all this that you are. Wake it up just as you are awakening
  18. When you move from here to there you can see where you were and what troubled you, and in seeing yourself from a new perspective, what was disharmonious is gone in the moment because it never belonged and was never you. That is what we needed – to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror, where we see and know ourselves. To do that we needed to understand how we ended up where we were, and in knowing that we may step out of that place to where we belong. In stepping out you see what you were and how the analytical illusion panelbeated your spirit and Consciousness, which in turn touched the body form. To know yourself you have to see yourself, and to see yourself you need perspective – an impartial perspective, where you look as an outsider to you that was. We needed a mirror to see what we were, and from there one had to shine on this mirror what we are so that the old may be transformed. Opening the heart space shone on the illusion, where we could see ourselves. From the heart space we see what the analytical illusion done to us, and this is transformed so that we may be what we are, which is one that is devoid of disharmony because in the presence of Love such a state does not exist. The heart space is Love. When I checked on myself earlier on I felt the bony socket at the back of my left eye was crumbling. This was from me doing my best to keep this illusion intact, where the illusion is representative of the left eye. I knew that if the illusion falls we all fall. What I never knew was what this effort done to me, and this was so because I was caught up and mesmerized by the illusion, where something had to be done to make this wrong right. Just like you, I could never see myself. Now I can, where Love looks back on the illusion as it departs the illusions space, where we see what we were, and most importantly, what we should be. I don’t know about you, but I need a helping hand, so what Consciousness does, together with the awareness of the heart space, is bring forth what is needed to keep the ball rolling where you move from the analytical illusion to the Garden of Semiramis as it was. Yes, this Garden is place, but it is more than that – it is a state of peace, which is a knowing that Life is unfolding as it should. What blows me away each day is the lack of energy I have, when the density of the illusion continually floors me. That is not living – that is wishing this joke of an existence would end as that is not Life as it should be. So for me the real test that we are awakening to what and where we should be is to be in this illusion but not of it, where the density of this foul place no longer touches me – now you walk here but are not from here as the frequency that you are is not the same as the one around you. In this frequency you move more and more to what is real. 19/02/2024 Take time off your busy schedule and go have a cuppa tea with the local drug gang in the area. Sit down with the boys and be amazed by what they are. You have no idea what level of Beast is out there in the seen and unseen. And you have to please understand that, where you take my word for it rather than impose on their existence. Yesterday I came across a drug gang that used their used car dealership as a front to their organization. That I never knew until I met the Beast staring me in the face. What is out there in the seen realm is worse than the Beasts in the unseen – far worse. The reason being is the unseen are impartial, where this is their job what they do and what they are, and this acceptance and understanding brings a smattering of peace within them. Here in the seen we have confusion, frustration, anger and hatred within us, and this deadly cocktail brings forth a most unpleasant character that you never want to cross within your existence. Don’t go there – they are not nice. And believe you me, that is not you. Find your people and embrace and look after them, all the while ushering them to where they belong. What I am getting at, is while we are in the seen what is our game plan? Why live? Why get up in the mornings? Do we want to falter and stumble across the path of the vile? You live to lead a remarkable Life. Experience and know what Life should be, where we once again get a taste of the Illusion as it was meant to be. Do you walk away from filth and not help them – those that view a gang-rape as just another happening in the day; those that touch you and irrevocably scar you forever more? I would say yes because they are beyond the help of you and me. Just walk to where you belong so that the path may be left for all who wish to follow. And know that first and foremost you walk for you because you need to be you. You think you are okay – you are not. You are fragile and weak from the proximity of being where you don’t belong. So don’t try and pull a Mother Theresa. Help yourself so that you may be in a position to help others, but I believe you actions will be enough to show others what is within them that they are. So get up every morning to lead a remarkable Life. That is your Game plan. Know you are shifting from where you were to where you should be. Know that Life is unfolding as it should. Know that you are being touched by all that is and can be and will forever be. Welcome this state into what has been a harsh, cruel existence. Unfold like a flower into what you are as you cannot be anything else but what you are. And most of all, have fun, where what you are is touched by the Infinite that is Home.
  19. Dream It Possible Delacey DREAM IT POSSIBLE LYRICS [Verse 1] I will run, I will climb, I will soar I'm undefeated, ooh Jumping out of my skin, pull the chord Yeah I believe it, ooh The past, is everything we were Don't make us who we are So I'll dream, until I make it real And all I see is stars [Chorus] It's not until you fall that you fly When your dreams come Alive you're unstoppable Take a shot, chase the Sun, find the beautiful We will glow in the dark Turning dust to gold And we'll dream It possible Possible, ooh And we'll dream It possible [Verse 2] I will chase, I will reach, I will fly Until I'm Breaking, Until I'm Breaking Out of my cage, like a bird in the night I know I'm changing, I know I'm changing In, into something big Better than before And if it takes, takes a thousand lives Then it's worth fighting for [Chorus] It's not until you fall that you fly When your dreams come Alive you're unstoppable Take a shot, chase the Sun, find the beautiful We will glow in the dark Turning dust to gold And we'll dream It possible, ooooh It possible, oh, ooh [Bridge] From the bottom to the top We're sparking wild fires Never quit and never stop The rest of our lives From the bottom to the top We're sparking wild fires Never quit and never stop It's not until you fall that you fly [Chorus] When your dreams come Alive you're unstoppable Take a shot, chase the Sun, find the beautiful We will glow in the dark Turning dust to gold And we'll dream It possible Possible, ooh And we'll dream It possible
  20. The answer is you become the analytical illusion – you broaden your space and you become one with this that is the analytical illusion. From there you reveal the heart space that you are. Now Beauty shines within this mathematical, insane place where our problem of finding ourselves in a place where we don’t belong could never be solved as we lacked the key ingredient of what we are which is Love. You become this place, and from there you become what you are, which is Love, which is expressed through our heart field. In shining you and the analytical illusion remember what should be. We are meant to play and be joyous, and when we have played enough, we return to the fields of Infinite Love, where we also play and express the Source within us from where we arose. Our stepping stone to the Infinite is the Beautiful illusion Queen Semiramis created. That this lady/energy field turned bad and insane is the truth, where she too lived in the head and not the heart to be with us here in the analytical illusion. But understand one thing: I am also bad and insane and so are you – we have to be to fit into this place where we don’t belong. We the manufactured programs are so strongly put together to serve our roles as emitters of energy that we never question this that we are. And please don’t question yourself – just get out of here because we don’t belong. What we are is mad to believe that what we do is okay. There is more out there than satisfying our pleasures. Get out. You that is Consciousness built this analytical illusion, so just as easily can you un-build it. Allow your heart field to be by knowing it is within you, and with this awakened, know what you are doing: You are breaking down the head/analytical frequency to reveal the heart field that you are. From there go back to this place that Semiramis created because that is Beautiful as are you. There rest and know yourself, and from there go Home to the fields of Infinite Love. That is what you do. Others will follow, most notably the innocent.
  21. It’s difficult to face failure. It’s difficult to know of a problem, where it doesn’t matter how hard you try, the problem will not go away, where it is here to stay. When I asked why Life is so cruel my Third Eye was opened to see what is going on around us that we never knew of. What I saw from day one was those of all shapes and sizes come into our space to implant a dream within us, where we give attention/energy to the dream, and this energy these entities feed from. That is why Life is so cruel – it needs our energy. We are all in a place where we don’t belong, living an existence that is not meant to be, and that all requires effort from our part, and to supplement that effort we need energy/food. All of us – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Over the last few nights the implanted dreams have been extreme. These fuckers came to eat, where their implanted dreams were severe, as in super-intense, and there they were, feeding from my energy that accumulated from me following their story. During last night there was once again this group gathering/effort from which they all feasted from my energy, and then this morning just before I woke up another dream/story was implanted as my body lay in bed sleeping. Woke up from the dream to see this young pretty girl sitting next to me. She wore this beautiful floral dress that exposed her shoulders. I never saw her face as her back was towards me. She loosened her dress, and I thought to myself “oi, what’s going on here now.” She loosened her dress to expose what looked like a three inch vertical surgical slit between her shoulder blades. From this slit came an old looking bird that came to feed from my energy. This bird lived within her and was her master. And this is the shit going on all around us the spirit, body form and Consciousness go about Life doing our best to survive. You think and your thinking takes up energy which requires you to eat. I think, therefore I am. That is not true. Rather: “I think, therefore I have to eat to sustain my energy to be able to think.” Sounds pretty harmless doesn’t it, but that thinking/analyzing comes at a price, where you eat the energy of another, and others in the unseen feed from your energy. Look at the misery of this illusion and ask why, and there is the answer in the above sentence. Something as simple and joyous as eating can have such a vile outcome, where we eat to keep ourselves and the analytical illusion alive – alive to face another day of survival. And this is what I spoke about yesterday, where some problems in this illusion cannot be solved as they fit into this place. The head thinks, which requires energy to sustain it, but remember the whole analytical illusion discarded the heart to rule in the head. So is this illusionary space we live in a living organism that too requires energy? You betcha. That is the magnitude of our problem, where fasting and not thinking will not solve the problem of eating, because all around us everything eats as we follow the example of the analytical illusion. This is the problem at hand, where we have to eat to feed ourselves and the organism that is the illusion. This problem you cannot fix, as this problem is part and parcel of the analytical illusion. So what do you do? You tell me.
  22. It is always interesting to note where we are and what is our role here. My one daughter has begun university this year – the first true progression into the work-force by finding what we want to do with our lives. I look at that pressure these kids endure that overwhelms them and something in the back of my mind says to me that surely Life should be simpler than this, where we rather fill our days picking up coconut shells whilst we walk around the island. We are not meant to be so overwhelmed by this place, where as a parent, with age we merely pass the baton we carried to our children, where they now have children to look after, where they now do what we done. What I have come to understand is some problems in this reality cannot be fixed, because those problems are made to slot into this reality, and a good example here is our health, where when our emotions go on a rollercoaster ride so does our health. I truly believe that what was a foundation of health that we once had can no longer be attained here in this reality because we have slipped too far from the basics, where Life was once about being rather than doing nonstop. When I wake up in the morning now I ask myself in what reality am I in – am I in the analytical/mathematical illusion, or am I in the one Semiramis created – the Beautiful illusionary Garden? What this question does is give us perspective of where we are in relation to where we should be. Yesterday I painted this palisade gate of ours. As I painted it I remarked to myself that this gate staring at me with its new coat of paint is Beautiful. Truly, what I saw in that gate was a representation of the Garden, where at that moment the illusionary Garden frequency touched me and I witnessed Beauty. (It was more a knowing than a feeling.) When it was said a few weeks back that help has come our way, what does this help entail? I would say we are helped to make the transition from this analytical reality to the Garden of Semiramis that we abandoned. There is truly nothing for us here in the logical illusion because there is no logic in finding yourself in a place where you don’t belong. Why stay if this is not you and where you belong? This morning I treated two puppies that were rescued and ended up in a shelter. When I saw the impact that the cruelty of Life done when it touched these two puppies I thought of the lions in the wild, where if these two pups were in the wild they would not have lasted an hour before the lions would have killed and eaten them. And truly, that would be a most merciful and welcome death because no animal deserves to live out its life with such a disadvantage from being born without the care of a mothers love, where all you see and witness is the harshness of this place. You don’t get more innocent that a puppy or a kitten, and believe you me, when cruelty touches them they become a fraction of what they should be, where they live out their lives in agony because their bodies cannot function from the emotional turmoil of finding cruelty rather than love. Even in an adopted loving home their spirits never fully recover from experiencing the complete opposite to the love that they are. When I saw those pups today I understood that being in this place is futile because so often we cannot rise above what Life done to us. And why should we rise up, because we are better than this place, where if anything, this illusion should come up to our level to what naturally is. But even better still, rather move to where you belong, and this is the frequency/illusion that Semiramis created for us to go and play in. There you be, as well as express this state of being, which is peace and fun and joy. So tomorrow morning when you wake up ask yourself where you are – in which illusion do you find yourself in, where you know the one you belong in and the other you don’t. This awareness will shift you to where you belong, and throughout the day you will begin to witness the Beauty of the illusionary Garden. It was not the paint that made the palisade fence Beautiful – it was the frequency that expressed itself through the gate. That is normal. Yes, it is still an illusion, but in that illusion there is the Love of a Queen. And from there you go Home to the Infinite. I have always waited to witness the presence of a being of Love, and there it was in the frequency of an iron gate. Funny.
  23. I came into this world lost and have always been so, and this time of my Life now I would say has been amongst the worst, where I know I have nothing and am nothing, and as far as the future holds, it is one big mystery as Life always has had nothing to offer me, and my future looks just as bleak as my Life always has been. What advice could someone have given to me at an early age to swing things around, where I Live rather than float – just going through the motions? The advice that would have transformed my Life is to always be true to myself. What that means is never lie to yourself. If you are lost, embrace that aloneness and make it your own. If you are scared, hold that fear in your arms and embrace it. Always be true to yourself. Always know what you are – how you feel at that moment. From there you have something to work on. You know yourself, and you know how you are is not what you want to be, so from this vantage point you release this what you are to bring forth the real you. What you know more than anything is that you are Love. This is me – what I am and will always be – but boy oh boy do I feel awful at this moment. You are true to yourself because you know yourself, and you know you are a zillion miles from where you should be, but you are Love, so somehow, somewhere you will be and express this what you are. Are you hoping? Are you having wishful thinking? No, you are not, because to hope is to wait and see what comes your way, which is most of the time nothing, where you drift with the nothing that you are. You know what you are – you are Love, and not confusion and hatred and anger and frustration. This Love that you are is a pretty powerful force because it defines the illusion as the Infinite superimposes all – ever in this illusionary bubble that we created so far away from Home. In our limited, naive state we wanted to go as far away as possible from Home to reflect – we just wanted time to think and ponder, and there was nothing wrong with that, but things fell apart before we could return Home as the absence of our heart field created uncertainty in us and all around us. The thinker and philosopher that we became never understood that you cannot outrun the Infinite as this is all there is. So in your far off distant place Home is still amongst you. This we never knew, and thus never embraced our true Home that has always been with us that superimposed and infiltrated our analytical illusion. Stop lying to yourself. If someone told me at an early age to never lie to myself – to always be true to what I am, things would have been very different. You are Love, meaning you cannot be anything else but Love, which means you are a solid, good person. Does it mean you have all the answers; that you are always happy and at peace? It means that whatever comes your way will pass so that the real you can be defined and expressed. Look at that person, everyone would say. What do they have that defines them? All that it is, is a foundation of your true self. On Love you build with Love which creates the everlasting, which is merely a state of this that you are. Anything else that is not Love passes you by because that is not you. If you compare me to what this reality defines as success, then I truly am a failure, which is a problem as I like the finer things of Life. I also like sitting against a tree in the middle of nowhere all by myself. What I am trying to say is as long as we are here in the thinkers illusion a balance has to be met, so that from this springboard of you knowing who you are, peace may be attained within you. It is worthwhile repeating as it’s really important: Don’t ever lie to yourself. Pull yourself apart to analyse yourself where you see this that you are. I am lost. Okay, that’s being honest with yourself. I am also Love, which is knowing yourself. From this Love you see your lost state, which is not you, so this state is removed to bring forth this expression of the Love that you are. Not one word of understanding is necessary from this journal if you are always true to yourself, and to be true to yourself you need to know yourself. You are Love, and so is the All that surrounds and is within you. Make this that is you your own so that you may always be true to yourself. Don’t be anything else but what you are.
  24. Chaos pulls you down to its level and floors you because you did not expect cruelty or deserve it. When you get up there is anger within you, because what gave the cruel the right to destroy you the innocent, where their actions were seen as normal to them. An anger brews within you, where you have to leave before this anger is unleashed and you add to the chaos. But leave to where? What do you do, because you are alone and there is nobody there for you to take you away from this most cruel and inhumane place? What do you do? What can you do when the cruel have destroyed you? You will yourself to rise above this place, where you leave and never come back, because the place of the cruel is not your home. So be it. 12th February, 2024 The last two days were bad. Two nights back in my depressed state fell asleep, and what came was really Dark, as in most sinister beings. There is bad stuff out there. During the course of the days felt the Snake within my presence in my left front thigh. It’s presence was not subtle – it was there and growing in energy to take me over where I became it. You could say I hit a low ebb, where how dare you have no respect for me. If I stayed in that space I would have become the meanest mother-fucker Monster this place had ever seen. I would have eventually been able to split this galaxy into two like a cracked nut and let all therein fall – just because I can. But that is not me. It is not nice to have no respect for others because they have no respect for you. When they bring you down to that level it isn’t nice being there because a controlled anger consumes you, and that really is not you – it is not natural. In that space I told myself I have a choice: Become what I naturally am, or be consumed by this illusion, where you become it, rise above it, and then break everything through a constant temper-tantrum until all is destroyed. Everything that was Beautiful would be no more because our rage makes us blind to the simplistic art of being there for each other. Into that space you too will eventually fall, where you know the complete opposite to what should naturally be. Your choice, as was mine, was whether you want to remain there or not. Believe you me, you don’t, because what Love that you are is destroyed as you destroy all around you. You have no power in that state, just a controlled rage that takes you over, where what you were is now no more. My choice is to be what I naturally am, which is Love, because that has a happy and everlasting ending. So just be what you are, and with the understanding of this journal Life will unfold as it should. You are not alone – the Infinite is watching and touching you. Just do your bit by choosing to walk with it. 13/02/2024
  25. It is fair to say that this journal ends when there is nothing more for me to say. Well, I don’t have anything more to say. Have all the “I’s” been dotted and the “t’s” crossed? – I don’t know. What I do know is as I sit here there is nothing more for me to say. So what happens from here, as in what will happen? All I can say is may Life unfold as it should. I do not hope that this happens because hope gets us nowhere. Everything has been done on my part to unseat these Beasts from their control tower and stranglehold over us the ones they created, because truly they were the cruelest of us all – ones totally devoid of sympathy and consideration, where the “I,” as in them, is all they were interested in. In their Game of numbers and codes and frequencies the heart did not feature, where caring did not fit into their equations. It was all about number crunching, where as long as the codes were intact then so were they. The outcome was all that mattered – how we got there was irrelevant to them. Debasing ourselves was an unfortunate criteria to us sinking as the illusion fell further from the true state of Consciousness, but all that mattered to these Monsters was the outcome. As long as the results were there, as in energy to keep the System running, then all was well. These beings never had to worry about job cuts and laying off of workers – that was our problem, where our inability to provide just intensified our energy output, which is all they needed to be okay. At the heart of the analytical illusion that we that are Consciousness created were ones who were mathematical and clinical, where the illusion was about numbers and making sure those numbers are contained. What are you the spirit and body form – you are a programmed frequency whose database is codes derived from numbers that fit together to define you. Somewhere within this analytical system is your true self which is Consciousness, and any love or caring we see coming from others is their lost state of Consciousness shining through. How does a created analytical program fix God/Consciousness in its lost state? How were we ever to depart this mess that we created? Sticking together only happened during troubled times, and when these times dissipated we fell back to our “me/mine” status. It was too the innocent we had to turn to find the answers out of this mess – those with unconditional love who loved us more than themselves, as their state was the only real smattering of what Life should be. As I sit here I have nothing. I have no career to speak of from which I can earn a living. I have no money. I have no friends I can pick up the phone with and have a chat to. I don’t know how I will get money to put petrol in my car before the tank runs empty. Truly, I have nothing in this illusion that allows me to progress and make something with my Life, where I feel I am moving forwards and getting somewhere, even if it means looking forward to a visit with someone I call a friend. I have nothing, but there is one element I always had, and that was to notice Love when I saw it. From an early age I knew what was real when I saw it, and in the animals I saw innocence and purity and Love. To these I always clung to as I knew that what they had was something special and unique in this world. How is this possible if they are also a created illusion – how do they get it right that they have and express unconditional Love and we don’t? When we compare us the Human species to the wild animals and nature at large, we the Humans are best equipped to live in the spirit realm where things are easier and less dense, where a part of us knows we are closer to what is real and is bigger than us, which is Consciousness. Nature and the wild animals have a balance between Life and death, where they see the big picture and understand they are an integral part of the seen and unseen, which means they live with a greater peace, knowing when the one cycle is over there is a seamless transition into the next one, be it the seasons or from life to death. (I say this because when I went into the energy field of Humans the right side of my brain was prominent, which represents the spirit realm. On the animals there was a symmetrical swing between the left and right brain, meaning the animals and nature were aware of both the seen and unseen and used this understanding to see the big picture, which created an awareness of peace within them.) In domesticated animals, they are the opposite to us, where the left brain is active and the right all but absent, where they live for now, as in I am so glad to see you and be in your presence, and this is all I need to be at peace. For them, this now is the everything. We Humans think we are like that but our inhibitions hold us back, where we conform to society and let others know we know our place. So we do our best here in a rather boring and monotonous fashion, and when we hit the spirit realm we come unto ourselves. Of the three, which one is the best? I would say none are because we all forgot to include Consciousness into our equation. So when we include Consciousness, how should we be living? In answering this question the head region does not even feature, meaning no consideration is made to either the seen or unseen realms. What is felt is a stirring deep within the chest region, where the Infinite is awakened within us. This touches the heart field of Consciousness, and everything in the head region gives way for the presence of the energy from the heart field that rises up to the head region. What this means, is through the head the heart is expressed, where I do and say what I am which arose from the heart field. And this fulfills us – no need for money or a mate or someone to idolize where we wish we were them. Not much can be said about this state, as to experience it is to know it. So what is needed from here to express this that we are? Where are we in this stage of our progression to become what we are? We are where we see and know the illusion, where I feel the presence of the left eye which represents the illusion. Now a clockwise and anti-clockwise spinning is felt within the left eye, where with each spin cycle the illusion unravels from what it was, and this is from Consciousness knowing itself and where it belongs. Now a strong, steady movement is felt in the chest area which moves to the region of the left eye, which is the Infinite moving towards the illusion. From there, the next step will be the Infinite taking over the left eye/illusion and making it its own, where the illusion falls into the loving embrace of the Infinite, and that will be the end of the nightmare we called Life, where we will be reborn to what naturally is. At what stage are we at now? A penetration is felt from the Infinite in the chest into the left eye, and this we have known over the last two weeks or so. This presence of the Infinite is awakening Consciousness to its full might, and when it starts to sing it will swing and become less dense as the Infinite that is Home fills the presence of Consciousness. And let me tell you one thing, and that is what I write I know to be the truth, but what I also know is nothing within my existence has transformed this Steven. I cannot bullshit myself, and I never will because being at peace in who I am is too important to me. So when will what I write be felt as a “pop” within us, where we have crossed the street and there is no going back to where we were, where now Life that is Love walks in us and through us? It is when the analytical codes/numbers within that define us are broken down and can no longer be. And when or what is that? That is when the Infinite is awakened within us. And what is needed to achieve that, meaning we go back in a circle to re-ask the question of what will break down the codes that have come to define us and the illusion? From the left eye movement is felt to the back of the inner head region, where the left eye/illusion is loosened up so that the illusion and those therein may be understood. What is the key that kept us and the illusion intact? The left Achilles tendon on the energy field is loose and energy flows out from there. It was here, in this region, that severance was made between the flow of All that is and us that is Consciousness. With the area of the left Achilles tendon within Consciousness restored, the All that is the Infinite flows through this tendon area to awaken the Infinite within Consciousness which is represented deep in our chest area, where the body is used as a road-map to understand the intricacies of Consciousness. It is this flow/push from the intact left Achilles tendon that allows the Infinite to flow through Consciousness. When we that is Consciousness abandoned the heart for the head, what did we do to allow this degradation transformation to occur within us? The answer is we shut out the Infinite from our existence, and we done this by severing our link to the Infinite at the left Achilles tendon. This dried up the heart field and its association to the Infinite deep within the chest area, where Home was always within but was now no more. This that flowed through us from the left Achilles upwards can be likened in relation to Consciousness to the air that we the body form breathe. What exactly is this flow that keeps the heart alive within Consciousness? What can I say to that. It is the movement that is the Infinite, which we can liken to the currents within the sea. Take away the currents – the natural flow of the sea – and everything becomes stagnant and lifeless, and this is what happened to our heart field when we shut ourselves off from the flow of Infinite Love that coursed through Consciousness. We that is Consciousness severed that bond at our left Achilles tendon so that we may separate from Home to understand it, where we may know what we are as our Home defined us. With our connection to the flow of the Infinite restored within us that is Consciousness, we go back to the initial question, where what will “pop” within us, where the old is left behind on the path to what naturally is? I don’t know. What I can say is the number crunchers that controlled us we created. We created our Frankenstein’s when we shut ourselves off from the Infinite, and these Monsters merely done the job we asked them to do, which is understand Life. How could they do this with the absence of the heart field? We asked the impossible of them, so how can we point fingers at these the heartless architects of the illusion and the cosmic geneticists? We cannot. The wise never shift blame to others because they know more than others by seeing the big picture. We do the same, where we restore the heart field through the intact Achilles tendon in these that we created, and when these Monsters that we created are fixed, which they are, they restore the illusion to the Beautiful Garden that it was that we abandoned. What “pops” within us to mark the shift from the old to the natural? The natural flow through the left Achilles tendon area awakens and restores the heart and the Infinite within us, which moves to the head region. What was in the head falls away as this is not us – we are not thinkers; we are merely what we are which is Consciousness. A dance of energy is felt at our throat area, where we no longer have to feel obliged to say something to solve a problem, because now there is no problem, where the flow of the Infinite courses through us. What “pops;” what is that a-ha moment within Consciousness? It is when Consciousness sees the Light that it is. From itself, it sees this Light in all, and thus knows that it is all that can be and will forever be. (In both the eyes a Light awakened, and this is what “popped” in all of us.)
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