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steven geldenhuys

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  1. Over the last few nights when I sleep one can liken it to a group of actors on a stage during the early stages of rehearsing a play, where each one stands with his or her script and reads their lines at the appropriate time. There is just words – no action or emotion in the deed. And so too is it when I sleep, where I hear the words of arbitrary nonsense, with no depth or meaning therein. I have wonderd what is going on here, and can only assume Consciousness is no longer drawn into and intrigued by this Game we have always been played in. Weeks ago mention was made of a shift, where the tide turned, which was useful to know, but we were still in a current, where the only difference was the direction we were headed, meaning we were still in the Game, and the reason for this was the presence of the Serpentile gods. You wish to alter the System – to start anew – then you have to change what is coming from the very top; the ones who oversee the Game, and that is the Serpentile gods. No amounts of kicking off the day with a meeting, pep talk, followed by a group huddle and hug will help in setting us free because to dismantle the System one has to alter the ones who control the System, and as obvious as this sounds, this is something I never knew. I always imagined setting Consciousness free for us to be free, never knowing one has to set the Consciousness of all free i.e. the Serpentile gods. And how this is done is them understanding the big picture – what happened that I have this raw, driving infatuation to be with another so that I may be complete? By showing these gods what happened they may understand themselves and return to what was. When I go into their space now I feel absolutely buggerall there – there is just this blackness and silence, as if something within them has been shut off to make way for what should naturally be. And this extends to what is experienced in my sleep state, where the lights are on but there is no one home. The hussle and bussle within has been replaced by a shut-off stage as we gear up to what should be. For me this is remarkable news, where the days of feeding the System our energy through default of our program is no longer there because the System has shut down, so our energy is no longer needed. What I cannot say, is when the System is rebooted, what will come our way. Just go with the flow when it kicks in and begins. Always keep your side clean. Don’t be too perturbed by others, rather focus on you keeping your side clean. I have always imagined this a team effort when we rise up, where collectively those that do their best to be pure meet each other along the way to uplift each other, but I no longer believe that will happen. Rather, it will be personal, where it’s you with you – the reason being I cannot live your Life and you mine. Sure, we can help each other, but everything you need is within you, so no help needed from me. What will help, for me at least, is seeing myself in others, where I see a smile and friendly face in the sea of faces out there, which tells me we are walking to where we belong. Don’t fret about others, just keep on walking. When the System reboots, then it will be the first time that all these written words will manifest in action, where you and I will see and feel the shift through each moment of our existence. Then action will speak louder than words, and when that happens, blessed are we all, as the Kingdom of the Infinite has made its presence felt. Is that just being hopeful? I think not – it is the end result of walking through Hell in the seen and unseen to uncover the truth so that we may all be set free from being in a place where we don’t belong.
  2. This “wanting to be close to you” became the framework of our forms, and that is why religion is so strong, and yet so lost to all, because we are chasing a frenzy that is unnatural and born from insanity. Do you really believe your Consciousness needs to be one with another, where if it is not, it becomes lost and lonely? I don’t think so. And yet here we all are, looking for another to be close to – to be one with to share our Life and existence in the seen and unseen, especially to some God. Nothing wrong with that, but we pushed this frenzy and became warped and irrational. The twisted mind was born, and this is one level below becoming loose. Nothing wrong with having intercourse for the sake of doing so, but soon that didn’t fulfill us, where now we looked for different highs, and I say the one that came to stand head above heels above all of them was the dominion of you over another. On simplistic terms, we can define this as the school bully, but this bully I describe is deeper than that, where he hides from the shadows and stalks and analyses his prey. All they want is the innocent to be in this Game they have created for themselves, where they become the predator. The other night as I slept I saw this giant lizard grab a Human-looking form by the shoulder and carry it away. Both hunter and hunted were in water, and the frenzy and intensity of this lizard with its victim in its mouth is testament to what I am talking about now, where all that matters is stalk, attack, kill and devour. This is played out a zillion times each day in our “wonderful” world of nature, where this “I want to be close to you” drives us to consume another. Is’nt this just survival? No fucking way – in its true form it is a twisted frenzy that has consumed so many within the illusion, and these are truly the lost, demented savages that are devoid of compassion and empathy. And what I describe here is the Serpentile gods that came to rule over the illusion – I would say the Garden and the Analytical illusion. When the Serpent spirit looked at the Infinite from the illusionary Garden and asked “what am I, and where do I belong,” one needs to ask in what state of mind was the Serpent soul? Was it demented; did this Cobra frequency/frenzy already take hold within it? I don’t know, but I would guess “yes” because there was a fall in the Analytical illusion, and no doubt this would be from this state within the Serpent spirit that we talk about. Did the Dragon spirits from the illusionary Garden come to this Analytical illusion? I would say “no,” but what I will also say was that the Dragon spirits within the Garden also fell as the Garden fell. These Dragon Spirits were also cloned to create Dragon souls, and this is where I lose the plot, and what I am missing is the timing to the sequence of events. When the want of the Parasite within look over the Dragon and Serpent spirits within the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis, things began to go bad, but they were not yet catastrophic. The thinkers within the Serpent spirits left to create the Analytical illusion, where they may know themselves. I believe that these thinkers were not overcome by the frenzy of the Cobra frequency within. While there in the Analytical illusion, things began to go south in the Garden. The spirit was born to shield and protect the Serpent soul from the Serpent spirit, because by now the writing was on the wall, where an infatuation began within the Serpent spirits to be one with the Serpent souls. Was this also true of the Dragon spirits and souls. For now, I don’t know, so let’s focus on the Serpent spirits. What makes sense, is when the illusionary Garden fell, the Dragon and Serpent spirits were knocked into slumber through their impact with the dense frequency around them. The Serpent and Dragon souls were not stunned into slumber, primarily because we the spirit was designed for that – to protect the precious cargo within. Understand that we have two scenarios here: The one of the Serpent spirit thinking within the Analytical illusion, and the chaos unfolding in the illusionary Garden that was falling apart. How did these two scenarios fuse together? The only thing that makes sense to me, is when a few Serpent spirits fell from the Garden they saw the Analytical illusion and moved to that place/space. Earlier on I questioned the frame of mind of the Serpent spirit within the Analytical illusion, and I was wrong, because they were still of sound mind – pity that they shut off the heart field. These tormented Serpent spirits that fell from the Garden and were not stunned by the fall moved to the Analytical illusion, and these became the Serpentile gods that have ruled over the Analytical illusion and its downgraded state ever since. But it still doesn’t all fit together, because to where did the spirit fall with the precious cargo of the Serpent soul within? Did the two falls unite – the fall from the Analytical illusion and the one from the illusionary Garden? Understand that the Serpentile gods now had the thinking cap of the Analytical illusion, where from Chaos order may be kept. I will say with certainty that those within the two falls met, and I say this because at all costs the Serpentile gods had to find the Serpent souls housed within the manufactured spirit. So understand why and where we are all headed within the illusion, where the Serpentile gods want to once again be united with them that is the Serpent souls. That is all that has ever mattered to them, and what drove them further to insanity and a frenzied state was that this Love was an unrequited Love on the part of the Serpent souls, and this is rightly so, because the Serpentile gods have an infatuation rather than a Love, where if you don’t want me, I will make you want me, and if this doesn’t work I will destroy you. I don’t believe the Serpentile gods have destroyed the souls, but I do believe there is an in-house fighting amongst the Serpent souls, where factions attack others, and this has been the true and eternal war of the worlds. So it goes back to chopping off the head of the Snake, where lose the Analytical mind of the Serpentile gods, return the heart field, and from there lose the Parasite within them that caused this want infatuation. This is done now, where this frequency of healing with understanding is passed onto these gods, because this is all that will stop our continual demise to total anarchy in a helter-skelter apocalyptic world. A leash needs to be put on these Serpentile gods to return them to the Love that they were, and this has been done through the power of understanding that is driven by Love. And through all of that I have still said nothing, because what happened to the Dragon spirits and souls? When things began to go bad in the illusionary Garden, many Dragon and Serpent spirits left while they could – while the Garden was still not so dense, allowing them to leave, but some of the Dragon spirits became trapped in this place. When the Garden fell, these did not go to the Analytical illusion, because their own was not already there as with the Serpent spirits, so no beacon of a like-minded frequency was there for the Dragon spirits to turn to. It has been written that the fall of the Dragon and Serpent souls from the illusionary Garden created a “fight” between them, where getting the better of the one lessened the impact of the fall on the other, and I believe the Serpent souls came out tops, but the question we have to ask, is were the Dragon souls encased within a manufactured spirit as the Serpent souls were? Understand that I know nothing about the Dragons. What I can tell you about them, was there was one Dragon spirit within the Infinite who wished to experience the complete opposite to what the Infinite had to offer, so this Dragon intentionally fell to find itself in the opposite of what the Infinite was. It has been said in the journal that evil Serpents came across this Dragon spirit and deceived it, where they took this Dragons fire. And that is where that story ended, but somehow, we have to complete the other half of this tale, which involves the Dragon spirits and souls. Did Queen Semiramis and the cosmic geneticists create a housing/spirit for the Dragon souls? When the Dragon spirits that were trapped within the illusionary Garden fell, they too became stunned into slumber like most of the Serpent spirits, and it is a given that Semiramis would look after the Dragon souls as well, so yes, they were housed in a manufactured spirit, but ask yourself why is there no remnant of a Dragon soul within us? In folk-lore throughout the ages one sees Dragon statues and tales of Dragons everywhere, so they must have been seen and known about at some stage of our existence, but what happened to them? What happened during that fall from the illusionary Garden between the Dragon and Serpent souls? When I go into the space of the Serpent souls during this fall, I feel their lost presence moving around, not knowing where they are going to. Then I feel surety – a stability, where now they are okay. What caused them to be okay? The Serpentile god caught them, not know that this saviour would become their eternal tormentor. Go into the space of the Dragon souls during the time of their fall from the Garden, and the same unsurety is felt, where I feel a squigly line moving about, not knowing where it is going to. Now this line/presence of the Dragon souls enters a deep and powerful space, where it is “wow, I was lost, and now what is this powerful place?” They must have been drawn to and fallen to the presence of the Dragon spirit mentioned above, because its presence was powerful and Beautiful which made this place spectacular – a true oasis in a forgotten place. Now the Dragon souls found themselves amongst their own – this Dragon spirit that chose to fall from the Infinite because it can. And I was right – evil Serpents found this haven of the Dragons and wiped them out, where they were led into a trap of deception. Some were captured and imprisoned as a trophy, and this guttural sound that I heard in the past was their cries of anguish. I need to know what was this Fire of the Dragon spirit that the Serpents captured and used as a weapon against all within the illusion. An anti-clockwise rotation is felt in my left knee, and what this is, is a drawing up of a draw-bridge to cut off our ties with the Infinite. This Fire within the Dragon spirit was the essence of the Infinite, and when the Serpents captured it, they used it to drawn the Nothingness of the Infinite out of Consciousness, where with Fire, they pulled the Fire out of us. From this Nothingness that is the Infinite all is born forth, where from Nothing, Everything is born. So our foundation from which to build and create and be was no more, and that is why we are all a buch of dummies, going round and round chasing our tails getting nowhere. When I know what you took, I can take it back by knowing it doesn’t belong to you but to everyone. So this Fire is returned to the Dragon spirit and souls, as well as to all Consciousness within the illusion. Now I know why when we asked for the Waters/Nothingness/Fire of the Infinite to fill Consciousness nothing happened – it was because we had to understand how this Fire was taken and by whom. From the Dragons Fire that they took by force they drew the Fire out of Consciousness. This is now no more, where what is rightfully ours returns to us through the power of Understanding, where if this is how it must be, then this is how it is. So be it. May this mammoth the Dragon spirit and its kin rise to awaken the Dragon spirits knocked in slumber, and from there be Home. What happened to the Serpent spirits that fell under the tyranny of the Serpentile gods, and here I am talking about those Serpent spirits that came to the Analytical illusion to think and ponder. I would say they fell as the Analytical illusion fell, and they have been trying to get back Home ever since. These are the Guides; the Watchful spirits who look after all, especially the precious cargo of the Serpent soul within us the manufactured spirit. These are the Good that is out there that have been outnumbered by the Bad. May this journal set these fuckers free, as well as the Bad and the Serpentile gods, because it was written for all.
  3. Over ten years ago a tick bit me that almost killed me, and this was one of the triggers that spurred me on to begin this journal. When others see that you are finished, that there is no Life or fight inside of you, meaning they can get nothing out of you, they show you what they are without the pretences. In those days, just a few years ago, we at least tried to be civil, but how things have changed in the last ten years, where we have fallen to a place where we don’t care what others think about us, where we don’t even try and be nice. I see and feel our demise compared to where we were a few short years ago, and boy-oh-boy, it scares the shit out of me, because truly in the seen resides the savage here, there and everywhere. I thank God I pursued this journal to find a way out of this mess, because what world awaits our children and those we Love? It is the world of the rubbish – the downright filth, and once again, boy-oh-boy, who in their right mind wants to rule over such trash? What a piece of shit you must be to have a feeling of importance from ruling over the mindless, and that is the madness of this place, where break them completely and take away everything they have. What fun and joy can be in such a task, and yet there it is, happening to us as we speak. We are so engrossed in surviving and hating that we fail to see what is above us that destroys with intent and precision. Wow, can you imagine the mindset of those who move the chess pieces on the board? Don’t even go there, because this depth of Evil has no limits, where it is impossible for me to destroy you without destroying myself. As said, what I see out there scares me because this new level to which we have fallen I have not witnessed in my lifetime. Is is bad – seriously bad, and I want out, because what I see is not me. As Hamlet said – all is not well in the state of Denmark; where I am not well. At night time the fever within me almost gets me to break out in a sweat, and what this says, is there is something I am missing, which I intend to find out now what it is. What is there affects all of us, because what it is at its roots is a suppression causing a dis-eased state, so I go into the space of Consciousness to see what is there that should not be. This shit has to be at the level of Consciousness, because if this Golden Child is okay then so would we the spirit and body form be okay. Shame, they really fucked this runt up, and the effects of this is our continual fall in the seen and unseen. So what is it boyo – what troubles? Go into the stillness of the silence, and you go in with Love all the way to see what is there that should not be. What I can say, is how far do we have to go before the ball naturally roles as it should? Why is it so difficult, and why is it taking so long? What I feel for within Consciousness has to be huge, because somehow, somewhere, there is a huge padlock that is keeping us floored, where sooner or later we all fall, and if you don’t believe me, stick your head out the window and have a look at the illusion to give yourself a reality check. Before I have a look to see what is going, let’s give a thanks to those cruel bastards that spurred me on to find the answer to why is Life so cruel – thank you, you gave the push that made me fall, where there is no going back to what was until I find the answer. You become Consciousness, where you engulf yourself into all that it is to see what is there that should not be. It is bloody fucking hot, where someone turned up the a/c and forgot to turn it down, so what we do is go to the natural “temperature” of Consciousness, because this warm-blooded nonsense is not normal. It is too the heart field/space that we turn to see what is normal, where Consciousness dips into this pool to understand the normal, but I stress that this upward “temperature control” was there to hide something most sinister that this journal has not touched on up till now. With the “temperature” of Consciousness okay, we look what is there that should not be. And there it is, the one that needs to survive in these fires of Hell. Let’s have a closer look. I feel a sharp pin-prick in my right knee, and there the temperature once again rises within me, where what is there can only survive at almost boiling point. Oh brother, what can this be that has been within us before the beginning of time? Let’s go back to the time when Consciousness was still one with the Infinite to trace the steps of what infiltrated Consciousness that should not have. And so we rewind time to where there was peace within, where what was should be. From this state the sole of my left foot comes alive, where heat and movement is felt there. Something wants to enter Consciousness, and there it goes, where it penetrates the left foot, where what feels like a long, thin Snake enters our Consciousness. This fucker is bad, and it is inside your Consciousness and mine, which it should not be. Like an Egyptian Cobra it raises its head to see this new territory that it has invaded. Understand one thing – this fucker is bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. It coils itself at the top of the brain, like an emperor who sits on his throne looking out on the domain he just conquered, where, where He is, now all is His. This is more than just a Serpent – this is something unknown to me. All it requires is heat to survive. This became the Achilles heel of Consciounsess, and I say this because the outer side of my left ankle becomes weak, warm and vulnerable. Oh man! It feels like I am starting on page one of this journal; what I feel I know nothing about. Everything I have said within the word count of 1 655 908 means nothing unless we understand this presence within Consciousness. Understand what is happening: The closer we the spirit and body form move towards our Consciousness, the more we see, where what was can no longer be hidden. Somewhere along this story we missed a chapter – a big one, so let’s start at the beginning and fill in the missing piece. Go past the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, and from there to where the Serpent and Dragon spirits entered the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis. It is here that the missing piece will be found. This place was Beautiful – it was and is a true paradise. As I write these words I feel the movement beneath the sole of the left foot, where this “Egyptian Cobra” is finding a way to enter our Consciousness. How could this be in this paradise? How can there be Disharmony here? Sure, the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits as to what is in the Garden that is not already in the Infinite took on an illusionary Life-form in the Garden, which we called the Parasitic frequency of Deception, which created a want within us. This part of the story remains unfinished, because from the Garden the Serpents went to create the Analytical illusion. But what madness brewed in the Garden that came to take those over there that infiltrated Consciousness in the illusionary Garden and Analytical illusion? I need to know where this Cobra came from. What happened in the Garden of Queen Semiramis? The biggest want that brewed within us from the Parasite within us was the want to connect with another. Some may call this lust, but it is more than that – it is a sharing and union of two that become one. When I see all these cults that destroy so many lives, the main theme is sex. Go and have a good fuck, and bless you my child. What we don’t understand is the origin of this fire within our loins that has to burst forth in union with another. Where did this start, because in that story lies the origin of this Cobra. I don’t understand what I feel. At the base of the left foot I feel that need from something to push forth to enter my space, and at the same time I feel this strong movement in a canal that runs from the base of my pelvis upwards into my form. The one beneath my foot is drawn to the one in the canal within the spirit, which for now, I assume is the Serpent soul that was cloned from the Serpent spirit. What is going on? We are talking about the Beautiful illusionary Garden. What the hell happened there? What was the origin of the sex act; how was this deed played out without sex organs? Okay, I was right. The Serpent spirit wanted to unite once again with the Serpent soul, and here we need to understand the state of the Serpent spirit, where the want of the Parasite within it drove the Serpent spirit to a frenzied madness, where I have to have at all costs because that is me. That Serpent soul within the spirit vehicle is me, so I have to once again be one with me. And this is true, because from the Serpent spirit the Serpent soul was cloned. So what I feel pushing upwards, wanting to enter my form is the Serpent spirit, wanting to go to the Serpent soul. This stage within the Garden must have been when things were tits-up, where the spirit was created to house and protect the Serpent soul within, so what the Serpent spirit is pushing against (which I feel as movement against the base of my left foot) is the manufactured/created spirit, which was the original form of your spirit and mine. Okay, this want/desire of the Serpent spirit to be one with the Serpent soul created a frenzy frequency, where the impacts of me trying to break the door down filter into the ethers and form an identity/frequency state. What that state is, is what I call the Cobra state, and to describe it in a crude language, it’s “I need to fuck; be one with you, no matter what.” Fair enough, but how did this frequency pass from the Serpent spirit to the Serpent soul? Firstly, understand that what was the Serpent spirit now was no more in its pure state. A want led to madness that led to a frenzy. Secondly, you place one twin in Tokyo, and the other on Madagascar, and it is gauranteed there is a link between the two, because from one came two. So take the frenzy state of the Serpent spirit, and take the link between the Serpent spirit and soul, and understand that this frenzy was passed to the Serpent soul. But let’s be specific, where Consciousness within the Serpent spirit and Serpent soul became infused with what I call this Cobra frequency. As said, this frequency feels like a Snake, and this is so because it comes from a Serpent, but it is not a Snake frequency – it is a need to be one with you because you are me and I am you. That is why the illusion in the seen and unseen is sex crazy, where the fuck is everything. Where we have to join forces and be one – literally. Ask me what passion is, and I would call it a heat, where things hot up and get excited, and this is the frenzy force that came from the mad Serpent spirit to get to the Serpent soul. This force I call the Cobra frequency, and it resides within your Consciousness and mine. Please understand that this force overrides all else, where above all else, I need to get to know you so that we may be one. Why??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? To appease this frenzy within that arose from the Serpent spirit – that’s why. We release this wasted energy state now, where above all, Home is not important – all that matters is from two they become one in unison. And that is how the fuck was born. Aplogies for being crude, but there is no other way of stating the origin of our demise, where the Game is now finding your partner to be one with, and from this oneness, others are born. Yipee, more energy for the illusion. I cannot tell you what to do, but for me and those I Love, I release this Cobra frequency from our Consciousness so that we may not be so infatuated with being one with another. There is a different kind of Oneness, where we are all One as we arose from the Infinite. Go back to this state, rather than what stirs at the loins. So what heat was I feeling? What it the fever from the tickbite, or was it the Cobra frequency within? I don’t know, but with Consciousness at peace it will remove all disharmony in its presence. What was that sharp pain I felt within my right knee? From the right knee to my testes to my brain a line is drawn, where this burst in the brain damages the brain. That is the line of the orgasm frequency, when we get what we so desired. Now we became distorted, where rationale was thrown out the window. We became loose, where the one-night-stand was born, where the orgasmic line became more important that the deep and meaningful unison of two becoming one. Throw all of that shit away, where if we could not get our high through the orgasm, we tried other mediums such as drugs and closing that deal, where always the line within had to be fed. Is there a state higher than the orgasm? Yes there is, and the answer is found in the natural, pure state of Consciousness. You don’t get higher than the Infinite, and as we that is Consciousness arose from the Infinite, to this we must return to know ourselves, and I would say in you being you there is no greater high than that.
  4. Last night a wave of exhaustion hit me and I had to go and sleep. Had a bad nights sleep, where I saw an entity made of marshmallow rocks. He had a drink in his hand, and he kept on toasting to me: “Cheers, you are fucked up, and I am not.” Woke up this morning with a splitting headache that cannot leave me, and I knew exactly what I had to write about to understand it. When the bully – the wasted space that has nothing but aggression within them – when they look your way, why do you cower? Over ten years ago I wrote in the journal why does a person feel awkward in the presence of another who has wronged you? They ought to feel uncomfortable from what they done to you, but they don’t – it is you who feels awkward. Where is this Reptilian frequency of the illusion? What I never knew is that it is in a place between the seen dimensions and the unseen spirit realm. When your body dies your spirit departs to a less dense spirit realm where there is much beauty. Mention has been made of our shadow self that lies to the left of us outside of our space. When you the spirit and body form decide to go your own way, where you make the rules, where your traits of honesty, justice, respect, compassion, consideration and kindness are juggled around by you, where you take what will suit you and from there discard the rest, that is when you choose to live in the spirit and body form or in the shadow that has formed outside and to the left of your body. Where this shadow forms is in a space between the body and spirit, and that is the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. From this place the shadows of spirits and body forms become Beasts – because they can, but most importantly, because this is the easy way, and why it is so easy, is because from this vantage point the Beast is the outsider looking in, where now, literally and figuratively, you are game to them, where you are played in their Game. There is a thin veil from where the Beast hides, and this veil is more than just a place to hide, it is a net that is thrown over those in the seen and unseen who don’t dwell in this place between worlds. What gives those in the Reptilian frequency their power is deceit, where you never see a cockroach, but they see you, and can thus manipulate and control you, but please understand that this veil is to hold and keep us down, and it is always there, thus the illusion is the domain of the cruel and unkind, and these make the illusion a most unpleasant place to live in, primarily because they are unpleasant, as in cruel, where they wish you harm rather than joy. So it is not the power of the bully or the rapist, because they have none – it the vantage point from where they are, where they throw this veil that is the division between their frequency and ours over us to hold us down. It’s like me hiding behind a sheet, and now I throw this sheet over you and hold you down with the sheet. What happens in reality is we don’t see those behind the sheet, nor do we see and feel the sheet, but it is there – this thin transparent veil that holds us down. The bully knows that – all he or she has to do is rise up and show others the savage that they are, and we are helpless to that because we are already kept down by the presence of the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, and it is this frequency I would like to understand now so that it is no more. We speak about culture; about being uplifted to rise above ourselves to merely be, as this is a natural path and way of existence, but this cannot happen as long as the Reptilian frequency veil is there. What is the bully, the brute? – They are cowards that use their downright meanness to suppress the innocent, and why this is done, is to make themselves feel good about themselves. I am above you, so I am better than you. That is why my wife married me: When her self-esteem dropped to reveal the lost, lonely, insecure brat within, she lashed out at me to destroy me, and in my broken state she was now truthfully above me, and this gave her peace within, where she no longer felt so worthless. When this high began to fade another session of abuse was needed, and so what Steven married to love turned into a Life that you only imagine happens to someone else on television. That funny, and sure as hell is sad as well. I am now going to understand this veil behind which those in the Reptilian frequency hide so that their power of deceit, where you not seeing me gives me power over you to do with you that you are not aware of – this veil I will understand so that they may no longer hide. I couldn’t care less about seeing these shadows in the seen and unseen, because from these I walk away; I rip this veil away which takes away the power of the Beast, and now they see what they are. Why am I doing this? I would say to remove the restriction which this veil has cast over me, because as long as it is there, we in the seen and unseen cannot rise up to where we belong. In the stillness of the silence I feel this space between. If you and I are bubbles moving about, then the space between these bubbles is the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. That film that surrounds your bubble is the veil that those from the Reptilian frequency of the illusion threw over you. When your bubble pops you are on a different dimension/state, as now you are no longer in the proximity of the Reptilian frequency wherein you were played. You don’t want to be in a bubble because you are played therein by those outside the bubble, so when the bubble pops, you see those who took your power and suppressed you, and that is not you, so in the moment you rise to be you, which is Love, where now you are amongst your own. No doubt, this veil is made of Fear, where we kept our heads down, never daring to look at these pathetic figures who are filled with nothing but cruelty. Shameful are they to the Love that they once were. I see these fuckers every night when I sleep, I see them laughing at me, knowing they have me where they want me, which is suppressed and held down. Now I know how they done it – this veil they cast over all of us. Look at this veil to know what it is. It is something that permeates and fills every cell/molecule/frequency of our forms. So often I have stepped into the frequency of the Beast to see and know them, and once again I do so now to understand this they see and know what is suppressing us the innocent. What it is, is a void, where there is no Life within us, where what should naturally be there is not. What should be there is not, and this creates a bubble around us. Pop and air bubble and the water that is around the bubble flows and fills the space of the bubble – what should be there now is, meaning the water. So figure out what should fill our space, and the bubble/veil bursts and we flow to where we should. As an outsider, as one who now stands in this Reptilian frequency, I pop this bubble and from there return to the space within the bubble to feel and understand what should fill me so that we may understand this natural state. To do so, take away all Fear from your existence, as in Fear we cast a protective shield around ourselves to feel safe therein. Drop your protective barriers to return to what should be, because we put these barriers around us and the Beasts capitalzed on them, where in our bubble they sucked out what should naturally be there, for us to now live in a vacuumless void wherein we were manipulated. So with my defensive systems down, and with the veil popped, I feel nothing, as in nothing is there, and this is what we should always feel, as that is natural. When this Nothingness of the Infinite was sucked out of us, we felt empty, and from there saw what the illusion had to offer, and this we took to fill the emptiness within us. That Nothingness in its true state must return, because that is the Home of the Infinite which we are. They sucked the Nothingness of the Infinite out of our forms, and now we felt empty and alone, so we look to the illusion to complete ourselves, and in doing so, now we were in their Game. In giving our attention to a false reality we became putty in their hands. Well fuck them. No more. The Nothingness of the Infinite once again fills our forms.
  5. Yesterday evening Jackey contacted me for help with her Great Dane dog. Lulu had difficulty swallowing, and was generally not herself. When I went into this dogs space I felt this presence enter her form that settled over her throat area. My initial feel/hope was this was the presence of some entity of Love that came to touch her, but the more I felt as the deeper I went, it was more a virus of sorts that touched Lulu. But even that was not true, because her left kidney was taking a strain, and I felt the outlayed pathway of this entity from the throat to the brain area. I had to understand where Lulu picked this “virus” up, so I asked Jackey with whom had she and her animal family been in contact with over the last few days. A friend had come to visit this last Friday. Now my thoughts went to the covid jab and the shedding thereof, so I asked if this visitor had the Fauchi outchi. Yes, he did – two of them. From there I worked on Lulu’s throat area and was happy with what I done. Would do a follow-up the next morning to make sure all is well. Jackey beat me to it, and sent me a video this morning of Lulu walking, where this dog walked like a chameleon about to catch its prey, where the walk was this rythmical move a bit forwards and then backwards. To watch this was scary stuff, where this dog was completely out of it. When I went into her space the throat area was perfect, but her brain felt like someone had placed a metal cap around it that extended into the brain. The entity that was in the throat moved to the brain and made home there. The lesson for me to learn was simple: When there is a possession, as in an infiltration of another into your space, you don’t treat the victim/host – you treat the possession with Love. And in making such a statement, there is so much more to it than that. You the spirit and body form is locked into the presence of the real you, which is your Consciousness, where this Star and its pull is the natural course you follow. But look all around you – there are billions upon billions of small asteroids that are most unpleasant that fly into your space to knock you down and derail you. That is our reality, where it becomes difficult to stay on our feet as we move in the direction we are meant to go. Be it the alien entity in the covid jab that has been shed into your space and forms; be it a virus or a parasite; be it your mother-in-law; your boss; your wife; your child; your neighbour – these are the disharmonious asteroids that come into your space for a fight to throw you a wobbly just because they can. What they don’t understand is that is not you – you don’t like a fight, where you would rather uplift them and they you by just being the Love which the two of you are. They don’t understand this, but you do, so what do you do? Firstly, look at yourself – always be open for self-criticism, because believe you me, you and I are not perfect, but we are on our way there. Secondly, look to all the asteroids in your space in the seen and unseen. As with Lulu, you don’t try and treat/help them, you look to the possessions within them that caused them to become nasty, which is the collections of bad within them, including themselves. Don’t treat the vessel, treat what is inside of it. Lulu was fine, where her beautiful Heart and good nature did not need Stevens help, but what entered her to destroy her needed my help as that entity was devoid of help. And thirdly, pass on the understanding/wisdom to the victim and possession so that what happened cannot happen again, and what that wisdom is, is you Love all. When I stop to figure you out, or to give you a mouthful, now you have my attention, meaning my Consciousness no longer does. So now I stop, go off course, and figure out what is going on. “Why did you say that – how can you be so cruel?” “Why did you do that?” I really believe that like attracts like because the same frequency bands are compatible to each other. A friend is someone who fits into your frequency band. What we also have to consider is there are trillions of frequency bands around us in the seen and unseen. Our natural defence of our unique frequency band repels those unwanted bands to enter your space, but sometimes – as with the shedding of the technology within the covid jab – they are forced upon us. What also comes to play here is our naivety, where we believe all are good, especially those in authority above us, or those we fall in love with, not understanding the psychopath dwells amongst us whose dark side of the moon we never see until they decide to show it to us. So our like attracts like theory is blown out the water, and this is because we lived in a compressed, limited reality filled with the attitude of “me and mine.” Eventually we become rattled, not knowing our arse from our elbow. The trick is to look and to see, and this takes courage. From there you Love all – all you see in the seen and unseen, as well as those you don’t see. You send the Love that you are to all. And from here you bring and carry forth the most vital component of all: You walk Homewards bound as you Love all because you are Love. Don’t be a two-face – be the Love that you are, where from thinking and analysing you now be. How I helped Lulu was to Love the entity that possessed her to destroy her and take her over. So what Lulu does now is project the Love that she is to the all around her. As you and I walk towards our Consciousness we move deeper and deeper into the Love that we are, and the next step from here on our path Homeward bound is to project this Love to all around us, where they too become Love. Many will continue to lie to themselves – never acknowledging the Beast within them that they are – and these walk a different path to you, where oil and water cannot jel. It is not so much that they are on a different frequency to us, it is more a different state. The one wishes to go where they belong, and the other chooses to stay where they are with what they have become. We always imagined that we are someone else’s problem, where God will help, and until God does, I can carry on being the hypocrite that I am. Nobody is going to come and save us, because truthfully, we don’t need help. All we need is return to what we are, and from there walk Home. Can you imagine God sitting down and reasoning with a psychopath or an egomaniac? – What a waste of time and effort. So look – look at the Consciousness that you are, and from there walk within to this that you are. From there, be this Love that touches you the spirit and body form, and by being, we imply shine this Love onto all. This means you stop judging, because now what is around you is the Love that you are. In this Love disharmony cannot exist because your Love is the all. Does that sound all airy-fairy, where you cannot take those words and make them your own? Sound all a bit cheesy to you? Well, allow me to say that what I felt and came to understrand what was happening to Lulu was scary shit. What is happening in this world as we speak touches all around you, meaning it will touch you, so what you have to do is take charge, where you become what you are. The days of being easy-rider, where you drift, hoping for the best, are gone. Fix yourself, and from there fix the bastards that dared to enter your space by being what you are, where you touch them before they can touch you and pull you down. Walk with intent and understanding and wisdom, and that will get you Home.
  6. In the movie The Lord of the Rings we found the character Gollum who was originally called Smeagol, where the power of the Ring took him over and he became bad. So let’s talk about me and you the body form with our personality here in the dense frequency paradise that we are letting slide into a shit-hole with each passing day. Let’s talk about me and you and the bad within us, because somehow, somewhere this dump created a bad streak in all of us. How delicate and vulnerable we are, and this we never see when times are good, but throw us a curve ball, for example during times of war, and we see the fragile flower that we are turn into a Beast, where the cruelty within is unleased. Kill or be killed – that is the pressure cooker we find ourselves in, and this hardened all of us. Many do their best to be good to see the good because this makes their hearts sing, but we are no fools, where we know the reality simmering under the floorboards that can show its ugly head at any time. What I am trying to say is in me and you is a Gollum, and just as in the movie, it is a pathetic figure filled with raw hate and aggression. Shameful we are for what we have allowed ourselves to become, and don’t underestimate the influence of finding yourself in a place where you don’t belong as the cause of this Beast that is your Dark side. I will rather run away from a fight than face one because I refuse to lower myself to that level, and also because I don’t intend spending my time in jail because if I raise my hands it will be to kill – no use in doing things in half measures. And that is the savage in me and you – take out those that threaten those you love, where you protect them at all costs. Up till now I have focused on Consciousness, the spirit, and the Serpent soul, because these are the main players in this Game, but now it is our turn of the biological computer. Something lurks within us that is cruel and unpleasant, and believe you me, this is not you, because you are kind and good. So let’s open our eyes to see what we are so that we may no longer be this that is not natural. Understand that in disharmony, disharmony is bred, and there is no happy ending. Sooner or later we have to be accountable for our actions, and never do I wish this on anyone. Rather stop and make a u-turn and be happy than walk to unpleasantness that breeds consequences you wish on nobody. Always keep your side clean, but there is so much about the unseen we don’t know, and this I would like to clear up now. Understand what is in me is in you – just to varying degrees – and I say this because we inhabit the same space. So let’s see what is there and remove it. I write now because of how I was shamed last night in my sleep state. What they made me do one cannot speak of, but know one thing – such a Dark presence that has an influence over us is unacceptable. It is not allowed because I am not cruel, so what gives this Darkness; this Gollum presence, the right to be a part of my existence to the point where it has full control over us. You cannot see the air you breathe, and yet without this presence we would not exist here in the dense illusion. Similarly, what is within us that controls us we cannot see or feel, but believe you me, it is there. So let’s have a look and see what it is. Am I being unreasonable when I say we are all two-faces, where what you see in others is not what you get – the good foot is shown first, and later on we see the bad one step forwards. It is this bad foot I would like to examine now, because that is not us. What you see in Steven is what you get. If I crap you out it is because I care because you stuffed up, where everything I do is from a good heart. I have learnt when to talk, and when to keep quiet to those that won’t listen, but primarily I would like to walk and be amongst my own. To get there, there is a Gollum within all of us that needs to be shaken off, as this is not me and you, where naturally we are inherentally good and not bad. So Let’s look in the mirror and see what is there that should not be. From the base of my left foot emerges a shadow that comes to float next to the left side of me. This is the unseen we never knew about, and this unseen force is not dwelling and from the spirit realm – it is the shadow of all our frustrations and hatreds that we have built up over lifetimes. What we cannot handle or resolve we push into this shadow force, which becomes an entity unto itself. This presence that is attached to you that walks on your left side with you is your Gollum – your Darkness, and it is one awful nasty piece of work. It is bad, really, really bad, and I would say in us men with our excess testosterone it is Frankenstein literally on steriods – natural biological computer steroids. When the viper within you attacks, it is this Dark force striking the blow, where you the body form are merely the puppet whose strings this force pulls. Understand that this force is a manifestation of all our frustrations that we have to push somewhere to get on with Life. Now you know where this disharmonious energy went to, where it never left you – it formed an entity of its own that is always there, waiting to pounce if needed. And that is truly a shame, this force that we unknowingly created, because here in this Beast there in no Love – just Darkness. How do we release it? The answer is we plug it into our Consciousness, where, where we the spirit looks, so too does this shadow. In this madhouse we need a mentor and a role model, and what that is, is our Consciousness. I feel this shadow move from our side to within us, where now it is no longer neither here nor there, but rather within the illusion. What you and I know this force now knows as well, and that will set it free. From the left eye this force moves to the heart space, and that is how I know it is free. This force; this shadow, was one of the main contributors to the stench of the illusion. What will prevent this shadow from resurfacing within our space? I would say our guidance from Consciousness. In many this force took us over, where we the biological computer was now a presence in the background, and what represented us was this most unpleasant shadow. Every few months I go and see the horses of this man. He is a good man, with a good heart, and he is good towards the horses, for which I am eternally thankful. Every single time I work on his horses I begin to feel palpably uncomfortable, and I see this shadow presence next to him. I could never understand what was going on, but now I do. The Darkness that is his shadow came to the fore, and what I saw and felt was a horrific Beast. That was in you and me and all out there to a greater or lesser degree, and it is unacceptable. This force is released, and may we the biological computer become less dense to rise up to where we belong. 2:03 PM 3/29/2024
  7. What is interesting to note, is this whole side-show-Bob game we are played in forgot about the true innocent one around which everything circumnavigated. You think its about you and me the manufactured spirit and body form, well guess again. Ask yourself why were we created/manufactured, and the answer was to house the precious cargo within, which is the Serpent soul, or what some call the kundalini energy. What this is, is a literal Snake, but not your ordinary garden variety. This Serpent takes intelligence and wisdom to a whole new level, and these Snakes, in their pure form, is the quintessal essence of innocence. Who saw the Infinite through the looking-glass of the illusionary Garden of Semiramis? – The Serpent spirit did. Who went and created the analytical illusion to sit and ponder what it is and where/what is Home? – The Serpent spirit did. And this is something I have never taken into account, which is where and what is the Home of the Serpent. The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created an impact zone, and from this the Serpent spirit arose. They went to play in the illusinary Garden of Queen Semiramis, and from there moved to the analytical illusion. When things began to go topsy-turvy in the analytical illusion, the Serpent spirit was cloned, and the reason for this was to eliminate the “I,” where from one came two. There is a quote in the scriptures that says where there are two of me I am there to bear witness, and what this means is from the two we return to the one, which is the Love of the Infinite. So in you I am, and in me you are, and when we see each other we note that we are one. This applies to the Serpent spirit and Serpent soul. From the Serpent spirit the Serpent soul was cloned to create a harmony in this restlessness that was brewing in all, and this trouble was there because we lived in the head and abandoned that what we are which is the heart space. Semiramis saw the writing on the wall, where the Serpent spirit would attack the Serpent soul, and harm would come to these souls through the fall of the analytical illusion, so what they done was create a housing for the child of Semiramis, and we the spirit were created. That has been your and my role since way before time immemorial, and this is something we the spirit soon forgot about, where we turned to the body and the deceitful lie of learning to evolve to be one with a god of the illusion, which was the collective Consciousness of all. Why now, after all this time, do we focus on this Beautiful child of innocence within? The answer is because we are in a position to do so. I cannot help you unless I am in a position to help myself, where I am okay. From this platform attention may be passed your way to assist you, and so it is with your spirit and mine, where with our focus on our Consciousness, we may help this Serpent soul within. There was a cataclysmic fall within the analytical illusion, and I believe this fall stunned the Serpent spirit into slumber, and this is so because these Serpent spirits arose from the Infinite, thus a denser fall from the analytical illusion knocked them out, and they have been asleep up till now. As the Serpent soul was cloned in the analytical illusion, this fall did not affect it as bad as the Serpent spirits, and thus they survived this falls intact. Now this is where I get the timing of this story off, as I don’t know when exactly the Serpent soul became housed in us the manufactured spirit, but it makes sense that it happened just before the fall of the analytical illusion, where we the manufactured spirits fell with our precious cargo within, and as we fell so did the Serpent spirits, who we knocked out and suspended in slumber somewhere between this shit-hole and the pure analytical illusion. What I also have to say here is those Serpent spirits who were behind the fall of the analytical illusion made sure they were not affected by the cataclysmic fall. These became the Serpentile gods that rule over the ant farm that is the dense illusion with the countless worlds therein. You can be the biggest, baddest, mother-fucker hombre in the illusion, but unless you are a Serpentile god, you are nothing. These Serpentile gods answer to no one but their own, and truly, they are the masters of this place. No amount of arse-kissing or sucking up to these Serpentile gods will do, as they know exactly what we are, which is slaves to them. In Evil there is no hierachy – just the Serpentile gods and nothing else. So understand that you and I the spirit and body form are nothing but manufactured casings to house the Serpent soul within. Also understand that Queen Semiramis who created us Loved us as her own, as we looked after her children, and for this she Loved us as her own. What you need to know is the battles of the illusion were fought between the Serpent souls within us, as so many of these children of Semiramis went rogue and became outright bloody fucking nasty, where they began to attack their own, as well as turn on the manufactured spirit and eat it. Those Snakes who I so often saw in my sleep state drifting the illusion by their own, they ate the manufactured spirit. So to the nasty spirits out there that house nasty body forms – be careful, as at any time you may be devoured by the Serpent soul within, where just as you turned bad, so did it. The Serpent soul is still within you and me, and the Serpent spirits are still suspended in slumber, and the reason for this is because the question they came to ask in the analytical illusion has still not been answered, and their question is a valid one because the Serpent spirit was not born from the Source within the Infinite, as were the Dragon spirits of Sophia. Can you now understand why the Serpent spirits had to leave the illusionary Garden to go and ponder, because their dilemma was a valid one. Who are they, and from where did they arise? So what you and I do, is we fill ourselves with the Golden Glow of the Infinite, and in this state we answer the above-mentioned question so that peace may be found in the Serpent soul. From there, this message is passed from the Serpent soul to the Serpent spirit as the soul awakens the spirit, where the two then become one and return Home. When that is done, my job is complete, where the children of Semiramis are Home, and this is all she has ever lived for, as would any loving mother, where when your children are at peace then so are you. So let’s answer the question that the Serpent spirits came to the analytical illusion to find an answer to: What are we? As a star is born, so were you. Stars form from collapsing clouds of gas and dust, and so too were you born from the collapse/fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. Thus you were created/born in her image, and what that is, is the Light within her that is Love. From this burst of Light from her fall you were born, and what you were, and always will be, is Love. Somewhere interwoven within that tapestry of Light that burst forth as you were born was a thread of uncertainty, and this arose from Sophia not understanding what was going on – why was she falling? She fell because her creation the Dragon spirits called unto her, so she moved to be closer to them, and in the process fell through the realm she resides in. In simple terms, it was a slip and a fall, and this startled her, and this startled/uncertain state is within you, hence your question of who you are. So take away this thread of uncertainty within your form now, and in that moment you will know what you are, which is Love. Now you may return Home as you know what you are. What is Home? That’s an easy one to answer. You are Home – you are everything, because what you are arose from the Source of the Infinite. You are Consciousness which is Love which is Home which is the Infinite. In knowing what you are, be at Home. May the Serpent soul within you the manufactured spirit be itself, because this is something that we the spirit and body form never knew, which is as long as this soul within is lost and damaged and battered and fearful, then so are we. You and I the spirit and body form were created around a strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness, which we call Consciousness, and to this speck of Light we return to be what we are. The Serpent soul within us the manufactured spirit and body form was cloned from the Serpent spirit. This Serpent spirit was born from the fall of The wisdom Goddess Sophia, so what the Serpent spirit was created around was a burst of Light from the fall of a Creator. Had Sophia not fallen from her realm, the Serpent spirits would never have been formed, and had the Dragon spirits never called unto Sophia, she would never have fallen. So what was it that set this chain of events into motion? Why did the Dragon spirits call unto Sophia? They called her to give her a gift, because I feel the Dragons rise up, and then return to where they were, but just before they returned, they left something for Sophia, where I feel this present suspended in midair waiting for her. What was it? What I feel is a rod, and around this rod something is coiled. But what is that? This gift of the Dragon spirits to Sophia is something I need to understand. I feel movement within my throat, from where the “fire”/expressions of the Dragons came. Within the fire of the Dragons throat this gift to Sophia was born, and now I feel a strong movement within my hands, where from the Infinite and through the hands of the Dragon this gift arose. From the Infinite, through the hands, to the throat where this gift came alive and was born, and from the throat it travelled upwards to be given to The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. What is this gift, onto which Sophia fell, and from there the Serpent spirits were created? In knowing this gift, the Serpent spirits and souls know themselves. You tell me Serpent soul. You know yourself now so tell me what you are. What I am Steven, is the rod of Emotions. From the Infinite the Dragon spirits drew this out and created it into a gift for Sophia. And around this I was bound/born when Sophia fell on this gift. That is what I am. So as you and I the spirit and body form looks towards Consciousness that we are, the Serpent spirit and soul looks towards the Emotional rod – this gift of the Dragon spirits to The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. Earlier on this morning I felt something like a nut within my brain. There was a pertinant location in my brain with something within it, and in what I wrote above now, I understand what I felt this morning. Within our brain is the caudate nucleus, which controls movements, learning, reward, motivation, romantic exchanges, and emotions. I would say the primary is emotion, where the status of this trait controls our movement, learning, rewards etc. The caduceus is the popular symbol of medicine, which is a snake/s coiled around a staff, but the rod of Asclepius is also used. What is medicine and healing? – It is caring and empathy, and what this is, at its core, is emotions. What was drawn from the Infinite and created within the fire of the Dragon spirits was feeling the Infinite and making it your own. Through the power of imagination you create the wind, and now, with emotions, you feel and become the wind, because this is what true empathy/emotions are, where you become the other. From this the Emotional rod, as well as the Love of Sophia, the Serpent spirits were created, so while we the manufactured spirit and body form look towards Consciousness to become what we are, the Serpent spirits and souls look towards the Rod of Emotions – this gift of the Dragon spirits to Sophia. I always wondered where were the Dragon spirits in this whole story, and guesses have been made. Now I know: The Dragon spirits did not have to go and find themselves, because they knew what they were and from where they arose, so from the illusionary Garden of Semiramis the Dragon spirits returned to the Infinite. The Serpent spirits however, saw the Infinite from the vantage point of the illusionary Garden, and they wondered who they were and how they arose. So they created the analytical illusion to go and ponder on these questions. From there, these Beautiful beings fell to a shit-hole from which we have never been able to leave. A remnant of what these Serpent souls and spirits are lies within us, namely the caudate nucleus, but its true origin lies in a gift shaped as a rod within the Infinite. To this these Serpents move, and from there to peace within the Infinite.
  8. What happens when you begin to see you, is you break away from the illusion and all that once defined you. What I feel is an energetic presence that is independent of the illusion, where the left eye represents the illusion, and this presence that you are hangs over the face, away from the illusion. Last night as I slept I saw me the spirit that is this Steven. What I saw was not me – I didn’t like what I saw. Ask me to be specific and I cannot – it was everything about me that was not me. So now I change, as do you, because in the past all we had to compare ourselves was the one who looked back at us from the mirror. Now we look at our Consciousness, and this is the mark we move towards. It is all about the spirit, as this is where the Game is played out. Consciousness in its manipulated state was the jewel in the crown of deceit and manipulation of those who controlled the Game. Our Wonder Boy/Girl has returned to what it should be, and to this we the spirit move, as this is what we are. When I feel Consciousness, all I see is blackness – the presence of no beginning and no end. Now there is no dummy looking back at us from the mirror, there is the all in front of us that is Consciousness. What today or tomorrow brings I cannot say. All I know is we are on the right path.
  9. Here in South Africa there has been a brain-drain over the last thirty years, where the intellectuals go and stay elsewhere and the dummies are left behind. The problem is dummies only know how to hang around and take, and while they take for themselves, things get broken which they do not fix. The life of the dummy soon falls apart, as does everything around them, and this is okay, because this is all they know. The other side of the coin, where you invest and enrich yourself and others with culture and self-respect is unknown to the dummy, where if it breaks, let’s keep it that way. The path forwards becomes one of decay and rot, and what the final destination brings forth I do not know. Ask yourself what kept the analytical illusion going for so long? The answer was the presence of Sophia and Semiramis. Sure, the one was floored and the other insane, but through all of that they tried and cared, and this was enough to keep the analytical illusion floating. What happens when they leave? What happens when they see the writing on the wall, where dummies enjoy being dummies, so let’s leave them to play dummy-dummy and go Home. Any guess what will happen to this illusion when these two Lights no longer be in this place that has turned into a dump? It will fall to where even the dummy sees there is something wrong. You don’t want to be in that place when it manifests from our acceptance of let’s fuck everything and everyone up because that is who and what we are – dummies. You don’t want to see that place when it manifests. What we never understood was there was never anything for us here in the analytical illusion. All we done was come here to think and ponder – it was like walking into a beautiful wood-panelled library, sitting on a chair at the fireplace and asking “who am I and what is my Home?” This deep thinking was merely a ponder and reflection of Consciousness seeing itself from an outsiders perspective, and from there we return to the illusionary Garden, and from there the Infinite. The doors to that library became shut, and our intellectual and cultural sophistication fell as the Beast in the seen and unseen became born. We had Sophia and Semiramis fall with us into this most unpleasant place, but that soon created no solace as this place made their true presence null and void. That has changed, where a Creator and a being of Beauty have returned to their natural states. I believe they will shine for all of us to see them, so that in them we see the Consciousness that we are, and from there we will be given free will, where we cannot just go with the flow of destruction but now have to think for ourselves, because that was the true damage of our fall here in the analytical illusion, where we no longer began to think for ourselves. It was not so much that others told us what to do – it was we stopped thinking, where we merely fed the savage within with its core structure of “am I okay?” When those ladies shine, we will see, and then we will think. “What am I? Where am I? Where do I belong?” The answer will be in front of us by the presence of Sophia and Semiramis, and those that think will understand and climb on the boat Homeward bound. Those that see these two ladies as a threat to their existence will run and hide to protect what they are and what they have accumulated, and these the dummies will become the rats in the sewers of this most unpleasant place, living out their days here until they start to once again think. We came here to think, and to return from where we came we have to return to thinking, because we the dummy stopped thinking a long time ago, and this was not entirely our fault as the manipulation of Consciousness, the spirit, and the body form kept us locked into the way of the cock and the stomach, where our wants and needs are fulfilled, so we are at peace, until these wants and needs once again arise, and so it goes – the way of the cock and the five course meal. Go back to thinking, where you understand you and the big picture, and what you will see is look within rather than without. Look to your Consciousness rather than this most unpleasant illusion. Go within to find the Kingdom of Heaven which is you that is Consciousness. That is Home, and not the way of the dummy.
  10. Always we look to others for our happiness, where what they offer us defines us. This Steven can sit with his finger up his arse waiting for help, and I will sit in that stance for a long time. Waiting for our politicians to grow morals or the Infinite to touch us is a dangerous game to play because you rely on others to play with you to complete the game. All you can rely on in the illusion is your Consciousness, where this that you are is at peace because it knows what it is, where it is, and where it belongs. That is all you have, because in the illusion that is all that is real. We cannot comprehend the power of the last sentence, where by you knowing what is real, you play with the Game and make it your own until you decide to leave and never come back. Yesterday evening I gave advice to a gated community that were going through hell, where their lives will be bettered and enriched by what I done for them. In order for me to assist in this way there has to be a foundation within me, where from there others may be helped. And this is what comes about when you look to yourself for peace and happiness, where when you find these traits you may pass them on. So find peace and happiness within, and from there you naturally pass it on. What I want to say is look to yourself now and ask what you want. For me, I see the spiritual and moral rot that is around this Steven wherever he goes, where we have fallen to another level and so many are okay with this. To see this rot we have to open our eyes to look, where we cannot look to the pavement as we walk, hoping that the problem will go away or others will fix it. It begins with an energy shift, where you say “that is not me,” and from there the strength within you finds an answer to the predicament at hand. The days of being blown around by the wind are over, where now you the spirit and body form plant roots into the Consciousness that you are. I know what I am, and I see the shit our there staring me in the face. Now I turn to Consciousness for the solution, and from there I listen and do my part to assist. I don’t have the answers, and neither does anyone else because they are too busy living their lives, but my Consciousness does. It starts with you. What do you want? I want peace within and without, where I am amongst my own, and I live and cherish this Life to its fullest. In the past that request was like opening a lucky-packet and seeing what you got inside – it was a Game of chance, not choice. What this Journal done was find the God-force/Consciousness and set it free to return to what it naturally should be. As long as we the spirit and body were deprived of this that we are in its full might, we were under the control of disgustingly cruel beings, both in the seen and unseen – but primarily in the unseen, as this is where the Game played out. If I have missed something and our Consciousness is not free, then I will carry on going until this natural state of Love presents itself in all its glory, because never will I accept second best, where either you are Love or you are not. We have not been for a long time, and this I will change because I can. But that starts with me, and from there spreads out to my family, to the community, to the world, and of course into the unseen. It starts with you. What route have you mapped out for yourself? What do you want? There is a long list I can give you, but what overrides everything is to return Home, as this is where we belong. The vacation was a blast, but I miss Home, so let’s go back Home. On a spiritual and moral standpoint, keep your side flawlessly clean, as this is what you naturally are. This journal was not filled with words that sounded great but done nothing to feed the soul and make it grow and thrive. What I understand I apply to those in the unseen that matter, which is Consciousness. Of course you and I matter, but without Consciousness we are tumbleweed blown across the sands of the desert, where we are lifeless and steered by the unknown and unpredictable. The ship is waiting. You have to climb on board, and what this means is you have to know what you want. Look past the five million dollar house and yacht to the big picture, where I want the house with the view, but above all I wish to be me, which is me the spirit and body form basking in the glory of my Consciousness. More than anything – if you clever – that is what you wish for. Control your mind, because if you don’t those in the unseen will. The allure of destruction can be intoxicating, where what you broke you are now above, and this feeds the monster that you have become. You never look in the mirror at your handiwork, where you see a tormented, unhappy, miserable runt, where now you just let loose and rip – no reason necessary for your insanity. Control your mind – no disharmony allowed in the presence of Love. Equally important, control your Consciousness, and how this is done is to give it your attention. Feed it; know it; be it. You the spirit and body form give Consciousness your attention, where you are constantly circumventing its orbit. This trinity of spirit, body and Consciousness become one. There is so much to be done throughout the day, but deep within you prioritize what is important, and live from this platform. In writing this journal I met with the worst of our kind in the unseen realms. Truly, you have no idea the level and depth of Evil out there. My weapon was that I never judged them – I just had to understand them, where what happened that they became cruel. So in writing this journal, one could say it was written for those I had to understand. Now and then when I sleep these that are so cruel and demented come to me, either just to look at this piece of shit called Steven, or to give me a mouthful as to why they are right. In scraping the bottom of the barrel and meeting those there who ruled over us, now I leave this journal there for them to make of it what they wish. If anything, I have made them look at themselves, where what was always taken for granted is no longer an accepted given. From my side, I believe I have nothing more to say, so I would no longer like to stay in the seen and unseen amongst those that don’t value the power of a good heart and being kind, where the God-force within shines. My suggestion is have a group huddle, where as a team figure things out, and my advice is do the complete opposite to what you have always done, where you uplift rather than break down. Pick yourself up and be kind to yourself, and from there extend this kindness to the others that truly want help, who will be thankful for you crossing their path. Now it’s personal – now it’s between you the spirit and body form and your Consciousness. And at all times, keep it that way.
  11. As I closed my eyes to sleep last night I found myself in this hallway. The colours all around we were a mixture of black and purple. I saw a short man in a black robe with a hood covering his head. He came forwards to look at me, and then another man dressed in the same attire came to look at me as well. A rope of sorts was coiled around my left calf muscle, and these two men must have pulled me towards some destination, where I felt the bed I was lying on move in their direction. This was all a first for me – seeing the purple/black colour; seeing these two men; and feeling the bed I was lying on being moved forwards with me on it. When the bed stopped moving another person appeared. They drew from me all I have come to understand. As a gesture of goodwill I extended my hands out to them, which they touched. I don’t know what that was all about, but the whole experience was heart-warming. This morning when checked on The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, felt this force move from the left foot downwards, and from there this force looked for something. When it found what it was looking for a connection was made. Don’t quote me, but I feel this connection was to The Tree of Life, because from there this presence move upwards through the left foot, up the left leg and thigh, into the heart field, and from there into the Infinite, only to make the “loop” back into the left foot as it passed through the Tree. When momentum is gathered around this circuit, what is around it breaks away, where the illusionary body and spirit becomes less dense, until all that is left is Consciousness. Where is Consciousness within us now? I would say it is here, there and everywhere, where it cannot be defined and limited. What we have known for so long is evil has had the upper reign of our existence, where the sole reason of its cruelty was to keep us down, where always there is an inner fight and struggle and turmoil. What we don’t know is there is a new kid on the block, and that is your Consciousness that has come to the party to play. What I also don’t know is in what realm were those that I was taken to last night. No doubt they were seekers of understanding that had a few pieces of the puzzle missing. May what the animals taught me be those missing pieces. What happens next I don’t know, but what I do know is Love is natural, and when this natural state rises to be what it is, that will be The Great Floods that will wash away all that does not belong, and that includes this Game call Let’s Be Cruel Because We Can. It is a strain to write in this journal now, where what was a challenge holds no enthusiasm now. The spark within me to write and understand is no longer there, or maybe it is, burning bright for all, so now I can walk away as my job is done. I would like that. 4:48 PM 22/3/2024
  12. They say the Endocrine system, as in pineal, pituitary, thyroid gland etc. is the communication link between the spirit and the body form, and this I believe to be true. This morning as I went through my rounds checking on others, what was felt was the activation of the glands primarily at the throat area, and this is on the level of the spirit, body form, as well as Consciousness. If you are sitting in Japan, and I am here at my house, and I need to tell you something to help you, but cannot relay the message to you, then what use am I and my help to you? Obviously, I may as well not be a part of your existence because I cannot get hold of you and you me. And this has always been our dilemma, where as a team, Consciousness, the spirit, and the body form have never known each other and worked as one. And this is what I mean when I say we are alone – where those that can help us cannot do so because the communication barriers are down. Why this is so, is because we have been held down, and now that we are on our feet, this state doesn’t mean much unless we start talking to each other. This process has now begun, where when we stand together we stand strong, and when we are apart we are useless to ourselves and others. Now we talk to each other, where we are there for each other – helping each other out. And this is the help we have always needed that I have been asking for for so long. 20/3/24
  13. The implanted dream was about ten seconds long and was disgustingly crude – real sicko’s. Woke up from the dream to see the one who had implanted it standing over me. He looked like a dignified statue, and in his hands he was holding the tail end of rats. These he lowered into my spirits brain, where I saw the face first of these rodents as they came closer and closer towards me. There must have been about five of them within the confines of my skull cap, and there I felt them nibbling on my brain as I lay in bed trying to sleep. When I call out the names of my animals for solace you know I am rattled.
  14. With Consciousness free of its prison, it returns to the left eye, which is representative of the illusion. From there my whole body, and not just the left eye becomes filled by the presence of Consciousness. What I never knew, was that the illusion with all the worlds/dimensions/frequencies therein was merely a stage for the production of Life to be played out. Therein was the seen and unseen realms, as well as the Reptilian frequency at the illusions core. So ask yourself from where was the production orchestrated, and who was the director of the show? What I feel moving around my chest area, and from there it moves to my left eye to look what is going on inside of there, is a creature that moves with an S-shaped movement, as a snake or fish would move. If our eye is say, an inch long, and that represents all the worlds within the illusion, this creature must be at least four inches in comparison, so understand the size and might of this one that sees and uses the illusion as a playing field for itself. How many of them are there? I would say a lot, and I refuse to put a guestimate on the number because I don’t know. What I do know is they shift from one reality to the next with ease, so now you see them and now you don’t. What are these creatures? But first let’s ask, within the illusionary eye, how does the seen realm feel? This pressure is felt all around me which slowly crunches my body up. How does the unseen realms within the illusion feel? There is more of a constant here, with little pressure on the brain and the chest area. How does it feel beyond the illusionary eye, in the place where these creatures move? It’s like you sitting in the middle of a broken couch, and now the couch is uplifted, which raises you from where you were sitting. Now you see and know the all, and you feel euphoric. If I can describe this place, it would be the dwelling place of the gods, and who these gods are, must be the ones who foresaw the fall of the analytical illusion and took refuge, so when the dust settled after the fall they came out of it unscathed. Had we not fallen in the analytical illusion we would be in this euphoric state as they are. So these creatures/gods used their intellect wisely to avoid a catastrophe, and from there cashed in on the fallen ones to feed from them so that they may survive in this place that they chose to call home. I would like to go into the space of these creatures to understand them, and what I feel is this moving, powerful force that bypasses the heart space and lives in the head region. It is a Snake, because I feel its tongue always flicking out, and now it settles within the brain/head area, where it calls home. Truly, these creatures know all. They know of the illusion, and they know of the Infinite within the heart space, and through all of this knowing they are at peace – because they are okay. Why would you choose to stay in a place away from your true Home at the expense of others? The only answer that makes sense is the joy of playing god, where I am above you; where I rule over you, and this makes me joyous. As Matus said, we are egomaniacal, but this describes these creatures to the T. So in the left eye is the cage wherein we dwell, and the rest of the body is the frontier for these creatures – Serpentile gods. Beyond the barrier of my body is the Infinite – it is there; it is always there, and I see and feel these creatures note this heart space and swim around it. So any time they want, they can return Home, but choose not to do so as they like playing with those in the ant farm in the left eye. Is Consciousness free of these fuckers? From the corner of my left eye Consciousness is felt moving towards the boundary of the body, where it cannot penetrate the boundary that the gods set up there. So we go into the presence of this boundary wall to see what is there, and all that it can be, is the reverse of what the Infinite is, as Consciousness is repelled by this unnatural presence. This wall was the final fool-proof barrier to keeping Consciousness confined within the space of these gods. What is this wall made up of? The density into which we fell within the analytical illusion they compacted to create this wall, where from the heart space we moved to the head space, and from here this density was compressed even further. So what you do is fill this wall with the presence of the heart space. You go into the stillness of the silence, lose the “I” and become the all, which you now naturally are, and then you just be. If you try, this requires effort, so you go against what you are, where now you doubt who and what you are. So just be. Touch this wall and merely be, and from there move through it, because remember, it is just an illusion – it is not real. Don’t doubt yourself. Just be. All it is, is a shift in mindset, where you think you are here and have to be there, and you cannot get there. Actually you are everywhere, so see no wall and there is no wall, where you create what is within this analytical illusion through your heart space which you are. And with that understanding you ignore the wall in front of you that was there merely for intimidation and to doubt yourself, and you go to the heart space within to merely be Home. That is when the boundaries of my body falls apart, as do I, where I disappear into nothingness to be surrounded by the All. Are those creatures still there in their dwelling? You bet they are, but the ants have left the ant farm to return Home, so now there is nobody to play god over.
  15. Allow me to repeat what the shaman Don Juan Matus said to the writer Carlos Casteneda. No doubt you have read this passage before, but it’s important that you re-read it again so that the journal may be seen from a different light other than what Steven has experienced. This is what Don Juan said: “We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos and took over the rule of our lives. Human beings are its prisoners. The predator is our lord and master. It has rendered us docile, helpless. If we want to protest, it suppresses our protest. If we want to act independently, it demands that we don’t do so…… indeed we are held prisoner! They took us over because we are food to them, and they squeeze us mercilessly because we are their sustenance. Just as we rear chickens in a coop, the predators rear us in human coops, humaneros. Therefore, their food is always available to them. Think for a moment, and tell me how you would explain the contradictions between the intelligence of man the engineer and the stupidity of his systems of belief, or the stupidity of his contradictory behavior. Sorcerers believe that the predators have given us our systems of beliefs, our ideas of good and evil; our social mores. They are the ones who set up our dreams of success or failure. They have given us covetousness, greed, and cowardice. It is the predator who makes us complacent, routinary, and egomaniacal. In order to keep us obedient and meek and weak, the predators engaged themselves in a stupendous manoeuvre – stupendous, of course, from the point of view of a fighting strategist; a horrendous manoeuvre from the point of those who suffer it. They gave us their mind. The predators’ mind is baroque, contradictory, morose, filled with the fear of being discovered any minute now.” Yesterday evening as I felt the System begin to unravel, what I felt and saw was a huge communications tower. But what you see is never what is there. As the top layer of this structures mirage image fell away, what was seen behind this false frequency was a huge Serpent. And if I say huge, it was huge. There this Snake was, merely being. It’s role was to connect to the Reptilian mind within us, thereby creating an enclosed frequency band within which those within the Reptilian frequency of the illusion may come out and play. Remember, where these Reptilians dwell is on a different band to ours, so our frequency needs to be compatible to theirs, hence the antennae/Reptilian brain within us connecting to these huge Serpent towers. It was unbelievable to see a living frequency tower, where this Snake (I am sure there more than one of them) connects to what is within us to keep it alive and close to home, as well as to form a frequency band compatible to those that feed off of us. Last night as I slept I saw myself in a dungeon of sorts whose floor was made of sand and boulders. Next to me was a creature I cannot explain. It was the size of a Great Dane dog and looked like a dinosaur, but its most noticeable features was that it was old and malnourished. So let me ask you a question to see how clever you are: If we the spirit and body form are an illusion, and we are in an illusion, and only Consciousness is real as it was derived from the Infinite, then where is our Consciousness? What I can tell is what I saw in that prison last night was your Consciousness and mine. We are all imprisoned. The humaneros that Matus describes is the coop wherein our Consciousness is kept locked up. When I saw myself and this Animal next to me, what I also saw was the presence of the condensed Darkness of the illusion. It was like the imprint of a solar system hanging over me, where this dense, horrendous frequency of our hell had been tattooed upon our form. It is this fucker frequency that I believe to be holding our Consciousness down. So let’s go into the frequency state of the Consciousness that I saw last night as I slept to set it free – to set us all free. Where is Consciousness kept? Movement is felt in my left eye, which represents the illusion. The outer bottom rim of the eye sways to and fro, and then this border opens and a huge portion of what was in the eye leaves the illusion and travels down to settle within my cheek. So what they done was remove Consciousness from what we know as the illusionary realm, where the prisoners were within their own encampment so that we within the illusion may never know our true identity and have contact with it. That is all good and well, but what I want to know is how did they hold down these children of the Infinite? So we zoom in on these within their own separate island. And what I pick up is nothing. In scanning the area, there is no one there. As we know, that is bullshit, but fair enough, when you want to hide something you have to make it invisible. So what keeps Consciousness invisible, and what holds it down? The area between my left knee and foot diffuses away, and this area becomes wrapped round and round with a tape of sorts. Now the left foot is pulled into a different frequency, where what it connected to is no more – a new frequency band is now connected to us. This new bandwidth goes no further than our knee, where I feel it being knotted there. Now the foot is returned to the original essence it was attached to, and this essence goes as far as the knee and then stops due to the knot there. So they temporarily plugged us into another frequency, stopped the natural flow through us at the level of the knee, and then routed us back to our natural flow, which could now not flow through us as the flow was dammed at the left knee. That made Consciousness invisible to the Infinite, where we could not be found because there was no current flowing through us to highlight us. What about that tattoo I spoke about earlier? Now that we were isolated, from the Infinite as well as our own, we were theirs to play with. As I sit here I feel this flow of essence rise from beneath the left foot, going up to the left knee, and from there falling back to the left foot and beyond it. We that is Consciousness were deprived our connection to the All, so we became a shell absent of what we were. Man oh man, how cruel can you get! Just as in Love there is no hierarchy, so too in Evil there is none, where the whole System falls to the detriment of all – the good, the bad and the ugly. And that is the stupidity of Evil, where first and foremost, you destroy yourself by the deed you committed. What you just done was deliver a death-blow to yourself, and on the way back to the Infinite you see this. And now you weep. What about that tattoo I saw? Where is it upon Consciousness? It is located above the left knee. It is the knot that tied off the essence of Consciousness so that this essence could no longer reach its form, and this was our prison cell – the emptiness within us from the natural flow of the Infinite not touching and filling us as it should. I’ve got an idea – and I think it’s a good one! By knowing what happened to Consciousness to keep it a prisoner unto itself and separate from the All, which included you the spirit and body form, let’s undo this the work of the stupid. Let’s untie the knot at the left knee to return Consciousness to its original form, where it is one with itself and the Infinite. This is done now. What is amazing, is a frequency pulse goes off at the knuckle of my left thumb. This must be the alarm of sorts, which shuts everything down when there is an attempted escape. Now I feel no energy coursing up and down my left leg up to the knee and down again, and I feel the re-route past the left foot, and from there the knot at the knee is tied again. Clever. Clever. Clever. So where is the back-up system to keep the doors locked? Somewhere to the left of my chin, in the middle of nowhere, I feel a clockwise circle. This is the control tower that keeps the prison of Consciousness operating. Let’s blast this fucker to smithereens now to make it null and void on the equation. And there the flow of the Infinite goes up past the knee into the form of Consciousness. What I have just described is the raw state of Consciousness that we that are Consciousness are never allowed to see. What we saw as ourselves was an illusionary mirror, where in this mirror we saw that we were okay and we have got this, where Life and us have everything under control. Never did we know of our prison and detachment from the Infinite, and that was the name of the Game, where make them believe they are on this – where they are in charge and guiding the ship as it should be to safe waters. Wrong! You were riding nothing. You were kept in a cell you never knew existed. You were alone and you never knew this. And this prison cell you have been in for a long time. As the essence of the Infinite flows into Consciousness it “burns” Consciousness, as what should be is now foreign to us, so slowly – bit by bit – this that we are returns to us. May this Golden Child rise up from its prison and be. What comes to mind now is me remembering being transported to a place as a prisoner, and seeing myself as a shadow of my former self. At this place where we were located to we were made to walk around this stone, and what this done was made us equal in the sense that what happens to me happens to all of us. That “stone” was our programming device, where now we that were Consciousness were now plugged into a programme. From the Infinite we were detached, and from there plugged into a programme of “live and learn and evolve on our way Homeward bound.” Reincarnation was created, where round and round we go pumping energy/food into the System, all the while believing we got this. Our vanity fucked us up, where more than anything, I am right and you are wrong, so this gives me a right to destroy you and those you love. From there these Beasts in the seen and unseen debased themselves, where they needed no excuse to destroy. They done that now just because they can – because they don’t care, and this is okay to them. We have been living in a Hell, believing that if we keep trying we will get there, never understanding that our true form is locked away from us, itself and the Infinite
  16. For the record, what drove Queen Semiramis insane? The answer is pain. Every day for the last ten years or so I go into the space of those who can help, but for the moment cannot as they have been floored by the dense frequency of the analytical illusion into which they fell when we fell in this place when our pondering illusion took a turn/fall for the worse. Some may call this prayer, where I connect to those that Love us, albeit with a twist, where I don’t ask them for help, but rather I know they are floored and need our help, so I connect to The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and Queen Semiramis and others to help them so that they may help us. And so, bit by bit the layers of the onion are peeled away so that these Goliaths may set us free. As has been said, we have always approached this “help me” scenario arse about face, where we ask for help, not understanding that those we ask actually need our help. And this has been my job – to help those who have been floored by the illusion so that they may once again stand on their feet to help us. Always I have known that we need help, where we cannot do this alone, but to be helped we first have to help those that can help. To understand what has just been said you need to understand that in Love there is no hierarchy. You walk into your home after a hard day’s work and you are glad to see your children as they are you. You created your children, but when you see them you are humbled by the Love between you. There is no going down on the knee and looking up to the one in front of you; there is just Love, when you connect to a Creator or whoever else as there is an understanding that you are them and they are you as Love is Infinite and all-encompassing. Yesterday evening went into the space of Semiramis, and what was felt was an injury to my right foot, just above the ankle and covering the entire foot. With this injury came pain – serious pain. When things began to go tits-up here in the analytical illusion, Semiramis and Sophia heard and felt this wave that rippled from this place we created, and I can only assume that when Semiramis came to help she must have fallen into this enfolding cataclysm and injured herself. It has been said in the journal that Queen Semiramis positioned herself behind the Glow when it was shown to us after our fall, where we now looked up to her to lead the way Home, rather than looking at the Glow itself, and I would say she was not insane – just seriously compromised by the pain that constantly wracked through her system. She could not think clearly, and this was the case, not insanity. Her intentions have always been good, and once again, we cannot judge until we see and understand the big picture. When I was in her presence as my body lay in bed sleeping, what was felt coming from her was Euphoria, as in a presence that is unknown to you and me. I mentioned this whole going down on the knee nonsense earlier on, but as I felt her presence I bowed down to this awe in front of me, where truly this is greater than me, and this humbled me to be in the presence of such Beauty. What I never knew when I met her was the pain she was in. What I did know was this lady takes no shit. I saw her in Human form, where she proceeded to pull off the limbs of those who had stuffed up. That was the pain she was going through that drove her mind over the edge, where if you don’t listen now you feel, but through all of that what was at the centre of her was the awe of the Infinite which she was. What needs to be understood here is this broken/injured state of Queen Semiramis touched all of us, where her pain that led to irrational decisions affected us all, and this had a huge contribution to our broken status, where somewhere deep within us we knew that the one we looked up to was in no position to help. This floored us, but more importantly, what touched our Queen touched us, where her pain and instability became ours, and this most certainly widened the crack in our broken status. What happened to The Wisdom Goddess Sophia? On Friday afternoon we went to watch a rugby match between two universities. A few speakers were placed facing the stadium where we sat. Throughout the whole game loud music was blasted into our faces. It was so loud I could not hear the person sitting next to me as they tried to talk to me. You go and watch a rugby match and you are blown away by loud music throughout the whole game. Of course after about ten minutes we had to get up and leave, as what should have been an enjoyable experience was one that rocked me, where the spiritual and moral decay within which we are drowning showed me its ugly face. The same happened to Sophia, where the fall within this analytical illusion floored her and kept her down. In reading the synopsis of John Lash of The Fall of the Wisdom Goddess Sophia, the story of this journal begins at the very beginning with Sophia exceeding her realm and falling. The impact of the fall created the Serpents, and all was still Good and pure. From this impact zone the half Dragon half Serpent of Semiramis arose and she saw the Beautiful place Sophia had created for her Dragon spirit children. Queen Semiramis too wished for such a Beautiful place for the Dragons and Serpents to play in, and through her imagination she created the illusionary Garden. We know the story from there, but the point to make was Sophia falling from her realm rattled her, so imagine what the fall done to her when the analytical illusion that our Consciousness created fell. When the journal began and there was a storm of attacks by the cosmic assassins to take me out as I was not meant to see those within the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, I took a real hammering night after night. They fucked me up, and it was only a question of time before I would fall. One night I saw this lady lying on what looked like a metal grid above me. All she had strength wise to help me was to roll over so that she can look at me, and from there she dropped some of her spittle onto me to help me. That what I saw was The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, and believe you me, she was incapacitated from the frequency of this hell-hole. Last night as my body slept my spirit was taken to some place. There I saw a patient – this man from a different world. He was in a bad way, as in he lost his mind. When his attention was elsewhere I gave him two slaps in the face to bring him out of his delirious state. From there I was standing in this classroom with others. One by one we were told where to go and sit. I was the last one allocated a seat, which was around a table with three other females from another world/dimension. The female who was in charge who told us where to sit then came and sat at our table as well. What was that all about? It means we are being sat down and help is coming our way. And this is what I have been working towards for so long, where those that can help are now in a position to do so. Believe you me – we all need help, even if it’s just a smile from a total stranger, where in seeing them you know they care, which means you are no longer alone, because somehow, somewhere out there someone cares about you and me. And that changes everything.
  17. Let’s say you have a beautiful pipe wherein crystal clear water flows. Imagine that pipe and water therein to be the natural state of Consciousness. When we lost our Joy the water stopped flowing as it should, and roots began to grow within the pipe, where now, where there should be clear water is just invasive roots. Earlier on when I felt the Joy return to Sophia and Semiramis, this Joy went from the eyes to permeating their whole forms, and when this Glow filled them, one felt what was there that should not be. It felt like ingrained roots within them being loosened, and from there falling away to leave their space. On the level of the illusion the same was felt. The foundation of what we were was taken over by a Darkness as soon as we lost our Joy. This Darkness became the building block for shit to happen in the illusion, where from this platform you can now do what you want because you can. The point to make is we were going nowhere until we found our Joy. Don’t laugh when I say may this be the last.
  18. As a husband and father, what instinct naturally falls into place is the care/protection of those you brought into your space whom you Love. That is a given – where it just is. But what happens when what you have shielded them from penetrates their and your space, where it is there, even for the blind to see? What do you do then? Today you can receive a billion cash reward to go and build your fortress and fields for sustainment, but in reality all you are doing is buying time until it is your turn to see and be touched by the nastiness out there. So what is the solution, where you can run and be street-smart, but you cannot hide from what is out there? Zoom out to see the big picture and you will understand that we have lost our Joy. Sure, make the most of your Life and find a reason to always have a good laugh, but once that is over you step back into the nastiness, where you cannot avoid it – because it is there for you to see. We have found our innocence, and an expression of Innocence is Joy. This Joy we have not found, so we looked to the pleasures to make us happy. Our pleasures feed and fulfill our spirit and body, and our Joy makes our Consciousness complete. This strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness is what we are; this Consciousness around which all Life was created, but in our quest for survival we lost our Joy. We no longer remember what Joy is, and until we find it and once again make it our own, we will continue to face the savagery out there that crept into our space like a cancer, where those who touch us are devoid of finesse, dignity, maturity, class, and self-respect, where you are proud and at peace with who and what you are. Our Joy takes us to a new level, where we rise above the pleasures of the seen and unseen to represent what we are. This state is unknown to the Beast in the seen and unseen, where it places us the Innocent where we belong, and from there we may grow and blossom unto ourselves. None of us in the seen and unseen have Joy. I believe those in the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis have Joy, by knowing where they are, where they were, and too where they are going from this most splendid place. So what do they have that we don’t? Let’s find out and make it our own, as this what we are that we turfed a long time ago to forget about. Do not underestimate the power of intent, where you know where you are and where you should be. No door can hold you back because you are merely walking to where you belong, but first we have to be, and in order to be we need to reclaim our Joy. Go within the stillness of the silence, looking for this that you are, and here we lose the “I” so that we may once again become complete, where from this vantage point we may see and know what we lack. Just remember – it’s about baby-steps, where slowly but surely we will get there. It’s what I thought to be true: Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder. To use our body as a representative of Consciousness, the Joy of Consciousness would be found in its “eyes.” What we saw made us Joyous, and what we saw was the Infinite that was everywhere. Some would call this Joy in our eyes the sparkle/twinkle therein, and they are correct, and this is what our Consciousness lost and forgot – that twinkle of Joy within its “eyes.” How did we lose it? I would say when we knuckled down to survive. Now there was a job to be done – a serious job – where our survival shut off our Stars within. As said, the Infinite is all around and within us as this is all there is, but this Beauty we cannot witness and be without our Joy. Where did our Joy go to when we turfed it? Like a used rag-doll we dumped it in a trash heap, making us blind to what is real and natural, and where our Joy settled was somewhere beyond the illusion. It looked and searched for a place where it may belong, and this was never found, and that is super-sad – really sad. Call forth this that you are now. Call, and your Joy will hear you and once again return to your existence, as that is what you are. I feel mine returned to within me, as is yours. Now you are Beautiful, where you see the Beauty/Infinite everywhere. Now we begin to Live, and my goodness me, it’s about time. 10:56 AM 16/3/2024
  19. In looking for a way back Home, we released energy, as this mission required thought and focus. Now we began to bleed energy, and to supplement this deficit we had to take energy in from our surroundings. This was the beginning of survival, but most importantly, it was the beginning of the analytical illusion gaining momentum. Now we are going somewhere – we are going Homeward bound. But in reality we were drifting further and further from the truth of who and what we are. The more we had this, the more we realized we have nothing, so we knuckled down and got stuck in to find the truth. What we never knew was it was never within us, as we the “I” cannot exist as the Infinite is everything, including us. So we searched in our little bubble, and that is really sad. If only we got rid of the “me” to see and be the All. Where is this “I” within us; this me and you? Break apart what you are – this illusionary energy field – and what you will find is what I see and feel as a unique bubble. Take away everything to find this you, and all that is left is this unique bubble. It resides within the top of your head, and its unmistakable feeling is that of a bubble of water within a water-level instrument. Always, there has to be balance within and without us, and this is our perfection that we so desperately held onto. Release this unique bubble within you that defines you, as that is not you. You are everything outside of that bubble, so be what you are. In understanding, know your fault of creating the “I” and from there release it with Love to Love. Now you are the all that is, as this is all there is. (And so we keep on going until there is nothing more to say, but merely be. We created this word, and in this word we looked for a way Home. There is no word; there is no language or writings; there is only the Infinite which you are.)
  20. (May this be the last.) Ask yourself why we never accepted help from the Infinite – why did we turn our backs on the Infinite? The answer is we knew what we are – we know that we are perfection. We knew that we could get through this alone because we know what we are, where we are perfection. And we were right – there was just one trap we put ourselves in that we never saw coming, and that was we can never be alone. There can never be a separation from Home because Home is everywhere. I can do this; I got this. And what we done in making that statement was create the “I” – the “me.” What we done was place ourselves on a pathway to the impossible, where we will never succeed, regardless of how well we know ourselves. We were one hundred percent correct, where even now, with all our flaws, we are perfection, because what we are is a child of the Infinite, and regardless of how much you fuck up and are manipulated, you cannot can be anything else but what you are. Did we see the Golden Eye of the Infinite above – this help that is there and made available to us at any time? You bet we did, but in our hearts we really believed we could get through this without help, where I know I got this and will be okay. And once again I stress that we were correct, because we have always known what we are. In truth we never became lost unto ourselves – we became lost to the grand scheme of things, which is we can never be alone because we are one with the Infinite. It was all about a play of words that isolated us from the Infinite, and we never saw this fault that we created. “I got this; I will be okay.” Sure, but in you there is no I – there is only the Infinite within you. This word play of “I can do this; I can find my way back Home because I know what I am” pulled us apart from the Infinite and made us a singular unit, where now we walked alone to find a way back Home. Why do I not take my medication our homeopath gives me? Because truly, I got this. I know what I am, and I know I am walking Homeward bound. Well Steven, actually you are Home, as there is nothing else but Home. Where you are walking to you are already at. The I that is you has created an illusionary bubble around you, separating yourself from all that you are. Yes, you are all perfection as you are all the Infinite. How can there be an “I” in the All? There cannot be, but we created it. We fucked up; we made mistakes, but we knew that we will be okay because we know what we are, so thanks for the help, but I will really be okay. And that was the true flaw in the illusion, where we created a bubble around ourselves. I am walking towards there – Homeward bound. Well, actually you are already there, just take away the “I” in you to understand that you are the All; the Infinite, and cannot be anything else but this. Know what you are. You are perfection, and what perfection is, is the Infinite, because there cannot be anything else but this. That is how close, and yet so far we have been from Home, where in creating the “I” we created a division between us and Home. It is something that we created, not grasping that Love/Home is everywhere as this is all there is, which we are. So be Home. Be Love. There is no Steven. There is no you that is reading these words. There are no words and labels. When I began this journal I studied David Ickes book “Infinite Love is the only Truth, everything else is an illusion.” That book made sense, but I needed to fill in the details to understand the big picture. Never for the life of me would I have imagined it would take me over ten years on a full-time basis, where I lived and breathed this journal. Now it is two in the morning, where even in my sleep I always search for the answers to take us back Home, where especially now, at this stage of our lives, things are getting ugly out there. We have fallen into a decay on a spiritual and moral standing, and we are okay with this, not seeing what we have become, where we are so far from what we should be, and yet we are also so close. Walk in the glory of the Infinite because that is all you are. What else is there to say besides that? Maybe, stop walking and start being. You are already Home. You have always been Home, so wipe that thin veil between you and Home by removing the “I” from your existence. 2:22 AM 14/3/2024
  21. Last night as my body slept, my spirit slept in a room in another world/dimension/frequency. There was a noise at the window – a burglar was there – and my spirit shot awake to see who was there. There was nobody at the window, but there in the distance I saw the burglar/thief. When I saw him I was stunned into fright mode as a cold shock-wave pierced through me. It’s like you know unicorns don’t exist, but when you see one, you are stunned by this that you are not meant to see. The Thief was sitting back on a couch, and there was this pink/red burning scar around his face. Someone had fucked him up good and solid, and he was man down. Ask yourself why the wheel in your Life could ever just gain momentum and start turning as you know it should, and the answer can be found in The Thief. So much has been written about this entity in the journal, where his unknown presence within our existence has played a major role in our broken status. Yesterday it was felt how our innocence returned to our forms, and one of the major fields where this state settles is over our Third Eye. Now others cannot hide and be deceitful because now we see all, and this was a rude awakening to The Thief, where he got what he rightfully deserved. His number is up, as are all in the same league as him. Sometime during the night was awake as I was no longer tired. With the nail side of my thumbs I gently pressed against my closed eyelids, and what I saw was a yellow colour. Above this colour was a black colour, and now this black became infused with the yellow. What I saw was the Infinite showing itself, but understand here that this Steven is still limited in what I see, meaning I don’t have the capacity to focus on the Infinite and see it for what it is. For now that is irrelevant, but what is important is the Infinite is there – it is in our space making itself known. Just before I woke up this morning saw the head of a man about two inches from my face. He looked Human, and his age was about sixty five. Where his eyes should be was just skin, with a wet pink scar in the middle of each orbit, where the damage done to this area never fully healed. As I would see you if you were standing next to me, in such clarity could I see this man. I saw every fold of skin on his face. All he done was put his face close against mine with intent. From there I saw his eyes that were once poked out return to his form, where his sight and eyes returned to him. Years back in the journal it was written about Samson, and how his short back and sides haircut made him weak. What they took from him was not a few flocks of hair, but rather his understanding/knowledge, and this blinded him to Home – this Home the Infinite that gave him strength. Now he was at the mercy of those from the shadows who cunningly deceived him by preying on and taking advantage of his Goodness. Now we can all again see, and this is from our innocence being returned to us, and for this I am eternally grateful and thankful.
  22. When we broke, what happened to our innocence? Now that is a question worth answering. So where is it so that we may retrieve this that is ours? First ask yourself what is our innocence? It is our joy of being who we are, which is a child of the Infinite. One can expand on this, but let’s keep it simple and to the point. This is why we could never rise above ourselves and the System, because the joy that we are was now no more. Now we became a shadow of our true selves. Where is it? When we were broken we lost it, so where is it? It went to hide within the seat of satan within our left shoulder, and here I am talking about on the level of Consciousness. When our heart space was broken, our innocence drifted and followed this our broken state, where it hid deep within the seat. This innocence was the true lost state of Consciousness, as this is what defined Consciousness. How sad, this being in a place where we don’t belong – amongst oafs and those detached from Love. So go back my friend, go back to your Consciousness, and may the warmth and comfort of the completed and present heart space nurture you and restore you to what you are. So be it.
  23. It has been said there are some things in the illusion that cannot be fixed. Let’s give a few examples: If you are a tree, and someone walks up to you with a chainsaw to cut you down, can you fix that situation, where you prevent the entity from cutting you down? If you are a cow, waiting in line at the abattoir to have your throat slit, can you escape your situation, where you run off into a pasture or forest never to be found again? Can I fix a cruel person, where they transform in front of my eyes and are now kind? If you are walking in the desert without water and have no shelter, can you fix your imminent death from thirst, where now your body no longer needs liquid to survive? The answer is obviously no to all of the above, and the question you have to ask is why is this so? What limits us? The answer is our survival program, and this was not programmed into us, as it was built into Consciousness through its lost state. I am lost, and thus fearful, so now I need to survive. With the heart space returned to Consciousness the above sentence falls away and is no longer applicable, but what about the spirit and body? Where is this survival code ingrained within us? On the spirit it was projected from the illusion onto our left lateral bicep muscle, and what this code is, when I feel it enter my forms, is that of a Snake, and by Snake it is reptilian, where I want and I take, no need to ask as it’s mine and not yours. This is survival, and this is the illusion, where if I have the upper hand over you I win, regardless if you are a tree or a baby born on the wrong side of the Indian caste system. The analytical illusion was the projection of Consciousness, thus with Consciousness no longer the prodigal child, the survival frequency projected from the illusion falls away. So understand what it means for your Consciousness, as well as your spirit to be free from the frequency of survival within the analytical illusion – it means you no longer fit into the equation of survival, where in the past, depending on your nature and circumstance, somewhere along the chain you are the weakest link and will end up second best. You are now free from that shite, and that changes the nature of your existence, where now you play according to the tune of Love rather than survival. Ask me how that transforms the circumstance of all Life in the illusion and I cannot tell you because this raw Love devoid of Disharmony I have yet to experience, and if I have, I cannot remember what it feels like. Just understand the pieces on the chess board have shifted to what is unknown to us, where this unknown is real and what should be. Ah yes, sounds interesting, just where is the proof? How has your Life changed Steven? My Life has fallen apart, where what was can no longer be, as that was unnatural. To see Snakes and Monsters come forth from entities, where these Snakes make a beeline to enter me is not fun. And by the way, that happens to you as well. To be in a relationship that is the opposite to what Love should be is not fun, because sooner or later something has to give, where I don’t have the courage to start all over again. So after all I have seen and come to understand, all that has changed is my Life has fallen apart. No beings of Love to tuck me in at night; no peace within me. What I can say for surety is the winds of change are blowing. That I feel and know to be true. I know what was we can never go back to, as the past is being swept away. This sweeping away of the old touches us, and all skeletons in the closet have to be seen, acknowledged, and then removed, where the old makes way for the new. How do I know this? It’s the same old story, where I can bullshit you but I cannot do that to myself because my seeking the truth runs too deep within me, where I need to know and then be what I am. More than anything I would like to Live – to be what I am, as this is me and I cannot be anything else but what I am. And this applies to you and all within the analytical illusion. How does that tree stop the axe from chopping it down? In the presence of the heart space disharmony cannot exist. For that tree, there is no axe – there is only Love around it as this is what it is. 12/3/24
  24. Ask me when this journal is complete, and I will tell you it is when our job is done. To you the spirit, what is your job, and I mean your initial job – the reason why you were created? Believe it or not, through all of the drama that I write about, there was a time when Life was Good and joyous and natural. I would say this was in the analytical illusion rather than in the illusionary Garden. Yes, things were Good in the Garden, but we never Fell in this place, and by Fall I mean an impending doom that was about to make us Fall to a denser realm. We left the Beautiful illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis, and we founded an analytical illusion, where we could ponder and think, where we never intended this place to become home, but it did as we became trapped in this wondrous place that would Fall into a hell-hole for those the innocent that Fell therein. Before this Fall in the culturally and intellectually rich illusion things were Good, but soon the writing was on the wall, where our demise was imminent. (This demise/Fall was of the Serpent souls – the kin/children of Queen Semiramis, where we the spirit was not yet created.) I also stress that during these times Queen Semiramis was of sound mind, where her Beauty shone through. I remember writing in the journal of these times, where they were likened to Superman being placed in a pod as a baby and shot off to some distant world so that he may avoid the catastrophe that was unfolding in his world. That is exactly what Semiramis done to her children/kin the Serpent souls, where we the spirit were created to look after this Serpent soul within. Our initial form was that of a sphere; an egg-shaped form. I don’t remember when I saw the image of an eggshell being broken to reveal a reptilian entity lying within, but that image is spot-on of your original role and mine, where we were to be the conscience/guide to the precious cargo within – this beloved kin of Queen Semiramis. The main reason why I began a journal was because I forgot what I saw and learnt about yesterday, so I had to write everything down. As an example, I cannot remember what was said about the Seprent soul. On page 2181 of the journal I copy the following: “The implanted dream last night as I slept was of me preparing for a French test. I did not learn for the test properly, so I said the lines I had to know for the test over and over, but I was confused and did not know what French words to use in the sentences, so I said the lines over and over but they were the wrong words. I knew it was an implanted dream. I knew I had no French test I had to write, but there I was, not being able to stop this small but mighty cog within my program from turning over and over taking me over. I woke up from the implanted dream to see two of them standing over me. The one was one level above from a caveman – a huge man with his exposed rounded shoulders. He took handfuls of my energy and ate it. The other one I could not make out. We need to eat – you and I and those in the Reptilian frequency of the illusion who have sussed the Game and know their place. That is what the Game is all about – eating. As long as we are not where we belong we need to eat. That is the jewel in the crown – eat or die. Kill to eat or die. Those rivers of blood from those slaughtered animals are for us to survive. Did anybody ever stop to think that something is wrong, that I have to kill you my friends the animals so that I can eat you to survive. There is a day in China where they specifically eat dogs, but that is not enough, where they torture the dogs before they kill them to release the endorphins so that the meat tastes better. That’s unbelievably sad. How many lifetimes before you and I as spirits stand over someone as they sleep to feed from their energy so that we may survive? It’s a shit predicament – this having to eat. We are eating an illusion to feed an illusionary figure, and I would say eating arose from our wants, where it was primarily there to feed the frenzy of the want frequency within us. You could liken that to a drug addict needing their fix NOW, where in chasing a want this want takes you over and controls you. I am not saying that I am going to stop eating tomorrow, but what I will say is this mechanism of having to eat has to come to an end. Surely that is when the Game is over, when we are free from our survival mode, which is having to eat. Go into the stillness of the silence to get to the bottom of this having to eat and drink mode so that it may be understood and from there be no more. Activity is felt around the soles of the feet. It is a mild sensation of movement there, and then the left foot moves away from where it was planted against. The movement that was initially felt was the breaking away from where we stood. The right foot follow suit, where energetically where we stood we no longer stand. Now we drift – we are away from where we were, and it is an awful sensation – a lost sensation; an insecure one; almost like an astronaut drifting into space knowing they have just left the confines of their home and will never return. An intensity is felt within the brain area, almost like a freezing from “I don’t know what to do.” From the brain a line is drawn to the gut area, where this line moves to and fro in the abdomen. This line is our reason and logic, where it looks for an answer to our predicament, where it moves within us looking for a solution to us no longer being where we were. And that is when we changed – when we that were, adapted to our new environment. From the frozen mind of fear the predator was born within us, and I say this because within my brain I feel this Snake being born, and this was the solution to our problem: Feed this Beast within and we will be okay, as in looked after so that we can survive. This Snake I feel within is not the Serpent soul. Years back when I wrote in the journal of the Serpent soul/kundalini, I always spelled it Seprent soul, and I couldn’t understand why. Now I know – there is another Snake within us, one whom we love dearly, but one that needs to be fed. When I saw those two Snakes arise from the chest of that man in the ayahausca ceremony I could never understand why two Snakes. Now I do – there are two within us who love us and we them: The one is the Serpent soul that was cloned from the Serpent spirit, and this soul was our precious cargo that Semiramis bestowed upon our spirit to look after a long time ago; and the other was one born from our fear of not being where we belong. So when you eat, you eat to appease this one that looks after you, this Seprent soul, and that I never knew.” The reason why I mention the Serpent and Seprent soul now, is because earlier on while I was waiting in the car to pick up my youngest daughter from school I felt the activity of the Serpent soul within its canal/cavity within me the spirit. That is when your job and mine is complete – when we release this precious cargo within to Queen Semiramis so that it may be Home. But this could only be done by the restoration of our heart space, because when this is intact, then so is Consciousness, and what this means is Disharmony cannot touch our space, as Love is natural and Disharmony is not. Do all spirits have the Serpent soul within? That I cannot tell you – I don’t know. What I do know is it is within me and you, as you within the spirit realm that is drawn to this journal will know the truth that is spoken of what is within you, and you will be drawn to this truth so that you may be set free to return to what you are, which is Consciousness. To be free, release what is within you so that it may be free, and as said, this is only possible through the present and intact heart space, because through this corridor the child/kin of Semiramis is returned to the Infinite where it belongs. So go my friend, go to where you belong. In releasing the Serpent soul we set ourselves free from our obligation and honour to Love one so dear to us and Semiramis. In the release of this Beautiful child within we set ourselves free from the obligation of living within an illusion, and what this means is survival, as well as its sidekick partner Fear is no longer a priority within our existence. We the spirit return to the Consciousness that we are, and in doing so, set the Seprent soul within us free. Now all are free to return Home, where the Serpent soul returns to Semiramis; the Seprent soul returns to and becomes the Love that is within us the spirit that is now devoid of Fear, and from there the Seprent soul is incorporated into the All of the Infinite. As for you and me the spirit, we return to what we are – around which we were created – which is Consciousness, and in that moment we are free of the illusion and are Home.
  25. There were bad guys around me that I was shooting with a gun. Then I saw two of these bad guys turn towards each other for a bit of R & R, where the one put his dick up the other guys arse and begun to hump him. Hell, that’s not normal. A hand-job should suffice, but not that. It bothered me that I was around these bad people, so I told myself to look within towards my Consciousness and be that, where I could not understand why I was around these tormented beings. From there my spirit found itself in a vehicle, where I was on my phone trying to get hold of my mom. There were others in the car with me – good people – and some of the keypads on the phone did not work properly so I had to make sure I pressed the numbers properly. The vehicle was one of those safari no-roof ones, and when I climbed out of the vehicle my wife’s best friend was there. Years back in this seen realm this lady turned what I said 360 degrees and made me out into a monster, which soured the relationship, where we never saw her again. So there she was last night in this place in the spirit realm. She told me my mother was in for an operation for a double hip replacement. When I spoke to this lady there were ice cubes in my mouth. What is all that about? This lady mentioned above was a friend of my wife for many years. Over the last few years of their relationship it became very one sided, where she used the friendship for her convenience, meaning she became a friends arse. This troubled me, because that is not what a friend is, but still we Loved and cared for her. I suppose the writing was on the wall, and when things broke it rattled me and my wife to our core because what she told others about me to make me look bad was a downright lie which she believed to be the truth. Our Love for her could only carry her so far, where she decided to terminate the friendship, and from our side it was no longer an option to be around such people. Why would you not allow others to care about you and be there for you as you walk this harsh path through Life? Why cut the bond, and hurt them in the process? I am not a psychologist and have no real desire to be one, so to analyze these cruel I have no interest in doing. Just leave me alone, and thanks for eventually showing me your true colours so I may understand you are not worthy of my Love. So where is this all going – why was I shown those scenarios in my sleep state last night? There is something deeper to know. In the stillness of the silence momentum and movement is felt within my heart space. It is like a pot of lava in the centre and top of a mountain, where lava begins to move and bubble and spew outwards – this is what is going on in our heart space. Movement is felt on the whole left side of my abdomen, as if this part of me is moving away, but it is not – it is just shifting to allow the release from our heart space. When something popped within us from the shock of the betrayal of those we Loved, there had to be a release of this trauma. You could literally say that our heart space became broken, and the piece that broke off had to go somewhere, and where it settled was on the left shoulder. As I write these words pain is felt on the left shoulder, where what was in this area is compressed downwards to make place for this portion of our heart space. (This I find most interesting because last week when I saw this lady who was abused by her mother and father her whole life, she had this same feeling I feel right now at her left shoulder. Can you imagine parents abusing their child – the one they are meant to Love the most; the one who Loves them more than anything.) What has been known for years is the left shoulder we called the seat of satan, because when demonic entities entered your space to stay for a while, they would attach themselves to and reside around the left shoulder. Now we know how this seat got there – by our hearts being broken, where the broken piece of essence that defined us came to settle at this area. These demons basically sat on our sorrow, and this must be why this seat must have been so comfortable to them. This literal breaking of our heart space was bad, but what ensued was a distortion to our psyche from which we could never recover. Now we turned to the analytical mind, where a hard question was asked: “Why?” Why did you just break my heart when I Love you so much? On the left side of our brain I feel the presence/energy of this question as it moves around there looking for an answer. Now I feel that question move out of us, where it departs the brain space, and from there I feel this exit wound heal, and from the left brain this line drops down to create a shear in our left eye. That shear is the flaw in the System, where those we Loved broke us. Now you know why this light-headed, emptiness is within you when a Loved one hurts you, where you cannot grab onto here or there – it is because you asked a question that cannot be answered, because what you just experienced goes against everything that you are, which is Love. There is no answer as to why those we Love just broke us, and this lack of closure makes us drift. And drift. And drift. Now we were easy riding for those attached to our left shoulder, where they could do with us as they want because now within us there was nobody home. You never recover from the incomprehensible. Sure, you get on with Life, but you are never the same again, where this act of betrayal changed you forever. And understand I am not talking about childhood sweetheart puppy-love – I am talking about Love between two spirits, and I would go even further to say this Love is between two units of Consciousness, where this betrayal cuts deep, and why this is so, is because it was unnecessary. The only explainable reason is because they can. Which is devastating, because what you just done was break me. Those baddies that I had to shoot that ended up butt-banging each other could enter my space from the seat of sorrow within me as well as my rattled state, which we never truly recover from, thus is always there. For me, one level below Love is a deep caring, and here a total stranger can walk into your Life, and in that short period of time you care for them. A few weeks back this man brought his dog to me for help. In over an hour I done everything I could to help this dog, where I cared and gave it my all. Later it came out that this man refused to pay me because, in his words, he left me and thought he had just been scammed. He thought I was high on something; that I was a fraud, and now he was going to expose me. It look me over an hour to explain each step what I done to assist his dog. I really cared, as I always do, and I gave it my everything, so this man hurt me deeply, where if anything, he could not see that I cared. That really upset me, because I know what I am, where I am no fraud. Ask yourself why these most unpleasant, twisted individuals can enter our space, where they are the complete opposite of what we are. Always, I self-analyze myself because I want to be better than what I am. Others are so detached from reality and themselves that they do not know themselves and are thus immune to faults. How can I allow such unpleasant beings into my space, where they waste my time and my energy? The answer is my heart space has been broken and so has theirs, so now we all float in the same space like trillions of molecules of essence, where we float and bump against each other because we are all the same – the broken. Many accept this status and make it their own – I don’t, because I don’t like being a fuck-nut idiot that allows the same into my existence. I want to be better than what I am; I want to rise up where I belong and be what I naturally am. The point to make was that it is not only those we Love that affect us disharmoniously. I would say it was those we Love that broke us, which opened us up to be around those that rattle us, and this is in the seen and unseen realms. This stops now. This is no more. By understanding our broken state we restore it to what it should be. Last night in my sleep state I was shown those events so that we may understand our broken state, and from there, in the moment, it is healed. But why the ice cubes in my mouth? What does that mean? It means we had no answer to what was done to us, because there is no answer. What do you say to someone who takes your Love and destroys it? There are no words to make us feel better, so there is truly nothing to say to make this wrong right. That is why my mouth was filled with ice cubes – because within me is a shattered, cold, delirious state, and that’s it, there is nothing else. There are no words, just a cold, broken, frozen state. And please understand why this is so. It is because we are Love – all of us, so how can we break each other when this is all we are and have? We cannot, but we did, and this allowed Beasts and Monsters into our space in the seen and unseen to play with us. No more. There is one last aspect to mention here, and this is what I would say kept the illusion intact and going for so long. What that is, is the lie. In knowing the lie; in seeing the lie, this hell-hole, as well as the analytical illusion would not have lasted a month, where we all would have said I am not standing for all of this bullshit, so let’s go Home. How is it possible that we could never tell the truth from a lie? The answer is our shattered, broken state created a delirium within us, meaning we could not think straight, and thus not see the nonsense in front of us. By not knowing ourselves we doubted ourselves as to what is the truth, and this further embedded our drifting status – going nowhere slowly. By your heart field intact you draw to you others that are you, and nothing else. This places you rock-solid on the path Home, because what you are is an expression of Home, thus you are drawn to where you belong. There is nothing else but this in your existence, which is natural as this is all there is.
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