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steven geldenhuys

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  1. The deal was to understand the cruelty of Life. No mention was made of our freedom, and this is the stance of these Beasts towards us. That Consciousness is focusing on the Infinite rather than us the spirit and body form is nonsense – the door has been closed and we are not allowed to see what is behind it. The progression to a life in Smart cities is a mere progression to what has always been. For as long as we can recall, the reality is we have always been slaves – now it will just become official. What the spirit and body form has not known through its ignorance and innocence will now be presented to it, as in “this is what you have always been – you never understood this, but now you do.” This journal is complete, as in we understand the cruelty of Life, but realistically, it is not complete. Fair enough, I needed to understand why Life is so cruel to us the spirit and body form, but the true target has always been Consciousness. We the spirit and body form have been the facilitators, where what we experience we release through energy to feed Beasts and keep the illusion alive, but this speck of Light; this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness; this Consciousness was the prisoner around which all Life and the Game revolved. What comes at night now is to monitor this Steven – is this punk kept in his place; does he know his place as a slave? This young whippersnapper who thinks he is going somewhere. Who the fuck does he think he is? Does he think he is special? We are not special. What we are is naturally Love. We have been held down and pinned down so that Beasts may be okay. But they are so stupid they don’t understand that they are not okay. There are no winners here, and as said so many years back in the journal – Evil has no friends. When the paw-paw hits the fan everyone scatters like cockroaches, and everyone is destroyed. So let’s be fair and realistic when we say that this journal is not complete, as we do not understand the cruelty to Consciousness, which is what we truly are, as around this Light all Life is born here in the illusion. Two nights back as I lay in bed calling forth Consciousness to be with me the spirit and body form, what continually pestered me during the night was this itch running down the corner of the right side of my mouth. This was the implanted parasite to keep us the spirit and body form locked into a slave species. The parasite at the left corner of the mouth dropping down to the chin is by default in all Life in the illusion as this frequency is what manifested from the curiosity of the Dragons and Serpents in the Infinite as to what else is in this Garden of Semiramis that is not already in the Infinite. What I believe is that all has been said and done to set Consciousness free, but this Light in its forgetful state has never been the secret weapon of the cosmic geneticists to keep the illusion intact. The door has been closed on us, meaning we cannot understand more through what we see, but they did not realize we can still feel the unknown. What I felt two nights back through my restless sleep was this itch on the right corner of my mouth running to my chin, and throughout the night I had to scratch this itch to relieve it. What I was feeling, was the distress of the parasitic frequency of Deception. These fuckers from the shadows, as well as their cosmic geneticists, manipulated this parasite to remain around Consciousness, so it was never enough to set Consciousness free, as this worm also needed to be set free – free from the manipulation that did not allow its freedom from the illusion. Now that is clever! Wow, I told you these beings are clever. What they underestimated was the will of Consciousness to return to its Source. When I go into the space of the parasitic frequency of Deception to understand how they suppressed this worm from returning to a natural state of Love within the illusion that becomes the Infinite, I feel the Fibonacci code – how this parasite twirls into a spiral and from there spreads out to the unknown to be lost. (What the Fibonacci frequency truly is, is the representation of the lost state of Consciousness.) What the cosmic geneticists done was take the lost/uncertain/fearful state of Consciousness and place this frequency on the indifferent parasitic frequency of Deception that was within Consciousness in the illusion. As has always been said, set the parasite free and we Consciousness is free, as the parasite was the only element that should not have been with the beautiful Garden of Queen Semiramis. Wow, but if you make the parasite forget what it is, as what happened with Consciousness, now you have the blind leading the blind, ensuring the illusion remains intact. Clever, clever, clever. It is now that we remove this forgetful state of the parasitic frequency of Deception so that it may remember who and what it is, as in how it came to be, and where its real Home is, namely the fields of Infinite Love. You remember now my friend, so return to the Love that you are. Your freedom marks the freedom of Consciousness as both of you were manipulated to forget who and what you are, where you were the central pawns in a most cruel Game. You the parasite go Home and shine this Light of Love that you are. Consciousness returns to what it naturally is, and it shines its state onto the spirit and body form and all within the illusion until all merely are states of Love. Boom! Now may this journal be complete.
  2. It is only fitting that we turn the spotlight on what is real within this illusion – or should we say “what was real” – until it entered the illusion and was thrown a wobbly. By real, we imply Consciousness arose from the Infinite and not the illusion, and to a large extent this Consciousness is the building blocks of the Infinite, meaning it fits in there as a fish takes to water. Last night I was overcome with exhaustion, where all I wanted was to sleep. People in the area began with their loud music – people I have asked to turn it down in the past, as well as sent the police to them as they never listened to my request. So there I was lying in bed trying to sleep, but I could not as the cruelty from Beasts in the seen was touching me, and this has been the routine most weekends over about the last thirty years. This having to turn up the volume to have fun, regardless of the people staying around you, is not a cultural, racial or class phenomena – it plays out amongst all skin colours, and from the poor to the wealthy. For me, playing loud music and not taking those around you into consideration is obviously a lack of self-respect, where you don’t respect yourself and thus nobody else around you, but it is also indicative of a breakdown of society, where morals, values and neighbourliness are no longer present amongst our species. We have no more respect and culture – truly, we were born of savages. (This “neighbours from Hell” dilemma of Steven could easily have been averted if I stuck to a career to make money rather than throw everything to the wind to understand the cruelty of Life. I would have found my sanctuary as I would have had money backing me up in my search. Through the options that money gives us, I would have found my sanctuary rather than take what we can afford, and Wow, what peace it must bring to be able to put your head on a pillow to sleep, knowing I am in a community where consideration courses through their veins.) Last night I committed to rise above this savage behaviour from my fellow species, so what I done as I lay in bed unable to sleep was call forth the Consciousness within me. With this Light shining within me I would be okay. And so I called forth – I called and called. When we the body dies and begins to rot, small white worms feed on the decaying corpse. I believe these worms are already present in the living body, feeding from our energy – they are just not visible to the seen eye. So as I called on Consciousness as a means to shut out the loud music from the neighbours, I felt these worms within my face rise up where I may know they are there, and then they were no more. And that’s it! – that was the only change within me that I felt from calling forth this omnipotent, God-force within. So where is this fucker? Is it playing computer-games in some other realm while there is so much sorrow and suffering within the illusion? Let’s find out what more needs to be done to set this prick free so that we may be free from Beasts in the seen and unseen. What we do is look at the state of Consciousness within the illusion. I assure you this journal has hit the audience it intended to reach, namely those in the shadow realm, most notably the cruelest of the cruel, where we scraped the bottom end of the barrel so that all may understand that who and where they are and what they do is the complete opposite of what should be. It is friggin’ unbelievable to see these different shapes and sizes that come from different worlds to feed from us the slave species. Last night something came dressed in a space-suit as this frequency was not compatible to it. The suit looked like something the Cyclone’s wore in the Star Wars movies, except this one was grey and not white. About a ten second dream was implanted, and it was so funny to see this space-being suck up my energy through a straw. This entity had to catch himself from stumbling backwards, such was the knock-out pleasure our energy gives to these from a different realm deep within the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. One hears about those that had near-death experiences and come back to tell the tale of beings of Light and how wonderful it is there, but all they meet are soft-cocks who consider themselves enlightened, yet they are not aware of the Game and those that rule them from the shadows. We all need help – all within the illusion, so let’s see what is going on with Consciousness. When I go into the space of Consciousness within the illusion, I feel what I felt last night when I called forth Consciousness, which is nothing. So where is this that is real that should be within us as it is our real self? My strong guess is it has departed the illusion and gone Home to the Infinite. This makes sense, as this is where Consciousness belongs. So what about us the spirit and body form? When I go into the space within and around us, most notably the space around us, to see if anything is coming from the Infinite, I feel nothing. By saying I feel nothing from Consciousness, what is meant, is its focus of attention is elsewhere and not with us. It looks to what is real and where it belongs, and for now, we the spirit and body form within the illusion are not a priority. What will happen next I don’t know, but what I do know is something better happen. I am realistic. I am not made of titanium. This cookie can’t crumble – there is too much to see and do, meaning fun to be had.
  3. After writing the above, I went to go and lie down for a few minutes. As I fell into a sleep I saw the golden face of Christ across my forehead – it was the same face I saw embedded in the Shroud of Turin. I am not a religious man, where the pull to a faith or reading a holy book has no interest in me, but what I saw was real, and what I saw was the message that Christ Consciousness is now embedded in Consciousness. What I believe this message to be is be Love; be what you naturally are. This message that could not find its mark on Consciousness those thousands of years ago has done so now. I write what I see. I am not a prophet, so cannot say what today or tomorrow will bring, but what I do know is Consciousness is coming to the party, where it is what it is, in other words, as it was within the Infinite. May this Love within touch us all. How much more is there to write and understand? – Hopefully nothing. And what then you may ask will we do? What is the meaning of Life? What Life is about, is being in the company of those you Love. Those moments in the company of those you Love is what Life should be on a permanent basis, but as said, when we entered this dense realm we forsook Love as it has no place to grow here. Those cherished moment of Love became smatterings; pin-pricks of stars in a black night sky. With Consciousness as it should be, these moments of Love come to define us as they are permanently with us the spirit and body form. You are in this world but not of this world as the real you, namely Consciousness, is what it naturally should be – as it was within the Infinite. Now the real you shines on the body and spirit form within the illusion, and what this means in simple English is you no longer walk alone.
  4. The biggest disaster that came to the illusion was that this place was no longer a Garden where Love may grow. In our quest to survive, something had to be forsaken, and what this was, was the bond of Love that automatically connects us together. Sure, we had our kinship, as well as this “blood is thicker than water” nonsense, but we were just fooling ourselves, as true Love is universal and has no boundaries, just as Beauty does. Our ticket out of this place was sticking together through the natural Love we had for each other that arose from the fact that we are all One, as in we are all Consciousness, but with survival the “me” was born, where I have to live, as I am important, and you, well, you are just you, which is not a part of me – unless I can get something out of you. In the less dense realm of the spirit realm it may be a different story, but yesterday I realized that when we dropped into this dense body realm, what we all sacrificed was Love, as this state cannot grow here. Should you be blessed to be in the company of those you Love and they you, where in this space your Love may just grow and be, then truly blessed are you, but here there are no winners, as nothing lasts forever. Life, sooner or later, is taken from us, where joy turns to sorrow, so as much as we give Love because we can as this is who we are, we know a heartache awaits as this Love is one day taken from our space through a phenomena called death. I believe that we are lost, but I don’t believe we are stupid, and by “we,” I imply Consciousness. Last night as I slept an understanding was passed on as to what went wrong that this awful place came to be accepted as home. It has always been about deception, where what you see is not what should be, so we have to be convinced that this is the only way. Consciousness was deceived that there is one primary factor in its existence, and that is energy. Energy, as in molecules vibrating and releasing a component called energy – this is central and the only real theme to Life. Energy, energy, energy. Look at nothing but to what is needed, namely energy. And this is the truth, but for whom. When I hold an ice-cream cone in my hand, as do you, and I have no interest in my ice-cream – only in yours – then I require a limitless amount of ice-creams to provide the bare minimum of being happy and surviving. This want and take frequency led to insanity from which the predator was born, where I don’t look to what I have and am thankful for that, rather I look too what you have – where what you have is mine. Consciousness was forsaken in the Beast, as to keep this child required nurturing, as in kindness to self, and this was too much hard work, as it is so much more fun to take what you have. The illusion and the Beasts that dwelled therein needed Energy to survive, and they deceived Consciousness – as in convinced Consciousness – that this is the way things are. With energy, unfortunately there is a give and take, where Life gives us energy and we take it. That it is at the expense of others is unfortunate, but this is the way it is. This is not the bunny-hugger Steven talking, who represents the Life rather than the slaughter of the animals and nature. I am talking about what we do to each other, where we take from others rather than naturally give. We say and do what is cruel, which hurts those around us, and what dies within is the energy to feed the cruel Beast in front of you so that they may – in that moment – feel better about themselves. All of this is okay. How insane must the spirit and those in the spirit realm be to consider such cruelty to be norm? Are you bloody fucking mad! Unfortunately they, and we, are. But look to the primary problem, as well as the cause of the problem. The primary is Consciousness, and the cause was the deception over time that there has to be a give and take to survive until there is only an eternal give. What absolute bullshit. Consciousness was conned and deceived by a System run by Beasts so that they may be okay. No consideration was towards Consciousness. This battery; this essence of what is real within an illusion was conned so that Beasts may be fed energy as they plummeted to their place within The Nothingness of the Forgotten. This is why the illusion remained intact, where Consciousness was deceived to believe that this give and take is the balancing weights to keep the scale of Life harmonious. Bullshit! This belief/program that we need, and thus must take is erased from the space of Consciousness. You are everything my friend, and thus need nothing. How can you need from an illusion – from something that is not real? You have been played, so make an about turn and return to what you are, which is Love. The circumstance does not define the moment, the understanding of who you are and where you are does. You create your Garden and sod the rest who want to play a game of cruelty and destruction. Be it in the illusion, or within a field of the Infinite, you create a space where you that is Love may grow. Don’t look to others as the possibility of disappointment is real, look to yourself and just be. Your Love will bathe you and keep you real until you are Home amongst your own. I leave Consciousness with a poem that was quoted in the journal in January, 2018: “I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But, it isn't my fault. It still takes me a long time to get out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. I walk down another street.” Portia Nelson, There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery Now Consciousness walks down another street, where it is what it is – free of Deception.
  5. What does Fear do? – It creates a thirst, meaning it takes away the natural Water state of Consciousness. This Water state; this purity; this balance within is returned to Consciousness so that it may be complete. 12th April, 2023
  6. The question you have to ask, is how destructive was the parasitic frequency of Deception? You want to eat at a three-star Michelin restaurant every night – I bet after a month of doing so you will say “enough!” If there was merely a want and take frequency within us from the parasitic frequency of Deception that arose from the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits within the Infinite as to what else is in this illusionary Garden, I truly believe that this want and take frequency; this parasite; this worm would have fizzled out in no time and all would have left the illusion and returned to where they belong. As said before, the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis was meant to be a playground and nothing more. It was a place of fun, where you go for a night out, enjoy the evening, and then go back Home. The eternal fuck up was that we became trapped therein. What a want and take creates, is a curiosity, as in what else is there to want and take. A mild form of obsession with this place stirred within us – what more is there; do I have enough – and this curiosity that led to a mild obsession went to an addiction to what I have is great, but I want more. And this more became a more and more and more. These states of obsession, which led to an addiction, led us down a path where we forgot ourselves, as what was without was more appealing than what was within, as in who and what we are, and this made us lost. As Consciousness is the building block of Love that is Love within the Infinite, the parasitic frequency of Deception was the building block of what came to take the illusionary Garden over to create a Hell in this most beautiful place. It was not the parasite frequency – it was what came to be associated with it, as in what formed around this frequency and took on a Life-form of its own. We have discussed the Destruction frequency that arose from insanity, but there is another that created the demise of the Garden and all those that dwelled therein. We stayed here longer than we should; we overstayed our welcome, and this pull to what more is there here took us where we looked without and not within, meaning we became lost to ourselves. In this playground Garden of Semiramis we became literally lost, as in we could not find our way back Home, because we had forgotten who and what we are, and from this lost state the supreme disharmonious frequency arose, namely Uncertainty, which is a synonym for Fear. As with Control, where what we projected took on a Life-form of its own that came to rule us, Uncertainty done the same. Years back I closed my eyes to see, and as I pushed against my closed eyelids with the nail side of thumbs, I went further to beyond what was hidden from us. Eventually I came to this white blob of a monster that had a tinge of pink to it. I knew when I saw it that I was witnessing the source of what we would call the cancer frequency. This Beast was sending out its frequencies to grow in others, where this frequency took and destroyed, and this destruction and sorrow frequency was fed back to this Beast to make it stronger. But was a wrong in my assessment of what I saw? Was there more to this Beast than merely a cancer frequency? I would say now that what I saw was the Uncertainty/Fear state that formed from the uncertainty of those trapped within the illusion. So I was wrong. Sure, the parasitic frequency of Deception is a pain in the arse that does not belong within the illusion, but it was our obsession with this frequency that trapped us here, where our curiosity as to what more is there led us further and further astray from what we are. Life-forms were created that came to control us, meaning around the frequency of the parasite Beasts were born that came to rule over us. These Beasts were Insanity and Destruction, but the primary one was Uncertainty/Fear. So it is not so much that one has to remove the parasitic frequency of Deception – one has to remove the state that latched around this worm that came to take over the illusion and all that dwelled therein. Uncertainty is the supreme master in all. There is nothing wrong with anything in moderation, but this white mass, which many would associate as a form of candida in our reality, this white mass took too within us and made its home in the spirit and body form – to the point that Consciousness was obliterated and became a distant memory. You want to shut down the illusion, then shut down Uncertainty/Fear within you by knowing it has no place within our existence. Any guesses where the primary of this Uncertainty frequency is within our forms? – It is entwined around the parasitic frequency of Deception hanging from the corner of the left side of our mouths. Why not just remove the parasite you may ask, and all around it will be gone as well. To get to the core, which is this parasitic building block of Disharmony within the illusion, one has to peel away the layers to get to it, and as said, Fear is the supreme state here. Know it is there – this primary Uncertainty frequency – and know it has no place in the presence of Love. The more this Uncertainty took a grip of us, the more we had to take to feel safe, but what we took just weighed us down even more, as how can you fight or remove a state from your presence if you do not even know it exists? By taking, I imply eating. We ate to feel safe; we ate for comfort – to momentarily take away this Fear within. Sure, we eat for pleasure, but this is done when times are good. When some stress out they stop eating, meaning they shut out Fear and bring Control to the fore, so that their Control may focus on the problem at hand, but primarily when we start to lose it – and I mean in a bad way – we start to eat, and not for nourishment, but to try and appease this Fear within that is getting the better of us. Well, now that you know of this Fear/Uncertainty frequency within you, tell it to be gone. When I smelt those from the shadows as they came into my space, where I would then see them through my Third Eye, what I smelt was this Uncertainty that had consumed them. This state is within all in the illusion, and the further you fall from the Consciousness that you are, the more this Uncertainty fills you and you begin to reek of it. No doubt I must have begun to stink as well, as more and more, with each passing day, this place and my understanding of I don’t belong here became palpable, where I visibly saw and felt my health deteriorate overnight. Get rid of this white mass Monster and its primary frequency within you. It is not a friend, Consciousness is.
  7. Before fully woke up this morning felt the parasitic frequency of Deception embedded within the frequencies of my spirit and body forms at the area below the corner of the left side of my mouth. The strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness, or what we call Consciousness, settled within the throat area of our forms. From there, you drop Consciousness into the well of the Infinite located deep within the chest area of the spirit and body forms. Now Consciousness remembers what it is, and it shines forth from this area to the spirit and body form, and from there to all within the seen and unseen of the illusion. What is vital during this process is to specifically target the Consciousness around which the parasite and the Destruction frequency have made their home. So from deep within the chest area Consciousness in its remembered state shines on this Consciousness around which the worm and the Destruction frequency have made their home, and this Consciousness in its now remembered state understands that the worm and its radical component – the Destruction frequency – have no place in the presence of Love. But it is more than that: Consciousness tells the parasitic frequency of Deception that Infinite Love is all there is – there is nothing else but what is, which is this Infinite Love. This understanding removes the curiosity of the parasitic frequency of Deception from which this worm was born within the Infinite, and as this curiosity is no more, neither is the parasite. May this parasite now be at peace within the fields of Infinite Love, and may this Love of the Infinite begin to touch us. All we had to do was get rid of the parasite, and what was before its conception could once again return. That was the first component in taking us back Home. The second was to remind Consciousness what it was and from where it arose – in other words, where is its true Home and what is its natural state. And the third component was to tell the story to our brothers and sisters of what happened that they allowed themselves to become Beasts. Everything crept upon us – what was the occult/hidden, made sure it remained in the shadows so that we may not know its game of take over and conquer. And I suppose the forth task of the journal was to return the children of a Creator and a God to a field within the Infinite, where the Dragon and Serpent spirits belong. In returning these children Sophia and Semiramis follow suit. What else is there to do and say? Here in South Africa the seasons have changed, where the leaves begin to fall in earnest, and the first pang of cold touches us. May it be a new season for all within the seen and unseen of the illusion, where the Love of a God and a Creator, as well as Consciousness, naturally shine forth. I would like that.
  8. One needs to ask how could things get so out of hand? How could we spill blood – inflict so much suffering – and believe it is okay to do so? Surely there is no excuse for being a Beast. The Beast became a God, a God of no inhibitions, where nothing stopped them. What is this place, this Nothingness of the Forgotten, this end of the line where the spirit and body forget this Consciousness within? It is a place of Never-land, where never for the Love of a God would we commit such hideous behaviour and consider it okay to do so. It a place that goes beyond survival; a place beyond Destruction. It is a place that truly is the complete opposite to the Infinite. It is a place that has no beginning and no end. It is a prison of no walls. It is a prison of emptiness, of no words and no meaning. A place of no empathy for oneself. In this place there is no Consciousness within you. Here you are a programme that has truly forgotten the essence of what it means to be alive. The other night as I slept I saw this demon in front of me – a man of coloured skin soaking up the terror and destruction that he was. This fool never knew what he was a hair breadths away from. You enter a place of no tomorrow. You stand still in time. And yet the question is still there – why destroy? The answer is beyond the insanity of what the parasitic frequency of Deception brings to us there is the Destruction frequency, and when you release this destruction often enough, you become this frequency. This is what you are and all you know. This is the monster that is Destruction whose home is the Nothingness of the Forgotten. I have been shown this place, hence I know it exists, but I never understood those that dwell therein. This is the bottom of the road – the place at the end of the line in this cruel illusionary realm. This is my message to those that dwell therein: Shame on you for destroying the innocent. If you want to destroy something, as this is what you have become, why not leave it in your space and not allow it to touch others? But it is not for me to judge, as sooner or later we would have become you, as we are all brothers and sisters. You were where we are, and we would of ended up next to you in this Nothingness sooner or later. This is what the illusion would have done to all of us. “Not me” I say, but what do I know of Life? I know nothing. All I know is I want to be where I belong and what I am at my core, which is a being of Love/Consciousness. So I say to Consciousness within the Nothingness of the Forgotten, we have all forgotten what it means to be kind, and this is so because we cannot even look after ourselves, yet alone another. I am sorry we forgot you. You are where you are because we your brothers and sisters forgot about you in our lonely and lost states, so what we do now it touch you in this place so that you may remember what you are. Go Home to where you belong and stay there. This illusion is not a kind place.
  9. From this Infinite state within you and I and all Life within the illusion, Consciousness reaches out and touches the Consciousness states within the Infinite that is everywhere. I have always said we are alone, but I never understood that I was talking about Consciousness. Consciousness has been alone. Consciousness has needed a helping hand, as in Divine Intervention. By being what it is within the Infinite that is in you and I and all Life, Consciousness touches those within the Infinite, and in that moment remembers what it is. Did it need to take over nine years of my life in writing this journal on a full-time basis to get to this simplistic point, where Consciousness sees its own and thus becomes what it is? How is it possible that something so simple needed to take so long to figure out? It was that moment when Consciousness dipped into the illusion that its true state was watered down, and with the presence of the parasite within its state, it became lost to what it is and where it belongs. From this pool of the Infinite within us, Consciousness shines onto the spirit and body form, and from there to within the seen and unseen of the illusion. This Light of what you are in its natural state as it touches the seen and unseen – this is what will transform and set the innocent free. Those that want to stay will keep their Consciousness as it is. Their power which comes from their feeling of importance, which came from decimating the innocent, this will be gone as now there is no innocent in their midst to suppress and control, and when this realization hits them, it will be an ugly sight that you don’t want to witness. May this path back Home begin to touch us the spirit and body form, and may Life as we knew it never be the same again.
  10. What doesn’t make sense was how something natural could be so suppressed, where the Love that is Consciousness could not naturally shine. Fair enough, Consciousness in its forgotten state was manipulated, but even there, there is no ways one can get the better of what arose from the Infinite. My guess is we turned our back on Consciousness, where so many within the seen and unseen realms of the illusion took to being cruel like a fish to water. Last night this Beast came a calling into my space as I lay sleeping. It was riding on the back of a polar bear, where this bear was this Beasts suppressed slave. This polar bear was in a sad state, where it was devastating to see the angst and hopelessness within it by being at the command and under the rule of the cruel. And yet I pulled out of treating horses for the same reason, where I could not bear to see witness to how my fellow species treated the majestic horse. As below, so too above. Over the last nine years, only once have I had a spirit come and assist me to understand a path out of the illusion. I have seen decimated spirits on their walk back Home, where there is nothing much left within them, but primarily I have seen and met spirits that have embraced the Reptilian and Destruction frequency of the illusion and made it their own, where more than anything, they loved where they were, what they had become, and what they were inflicting on the innocent in the seen and unseen realms. And that is why this illusion has remained intact for so long – the spirit that turned into a Beast, and a Garden that turned into a living nightmare – these states fitted like a hand to a glove. If you want to play dirty, then play with your own that like playing the same game – leave the innocent alone. What else is keeping us here, or should I say – what else is suppressing the Consciousness of the innocent who wish to be independent of the System we call the Illusion? I look to that polar bear spirit that I saw being ridden by a Beast so that I may understand what keeps the innocent within the same space as pure, undiluted evil. A whistleblower from the UN said that eight million children go missing every year. I find that hard to believe, but this man is not a liar so I believe him. How many spirits have been abducted by the cruel within the shadows, and how many continue to be abducted? Let’s find out how it is done. In going into the space of that abducted polar bear spirit; lately I look to the Consciousness within the spirit to understand how this Light was manipulated. That’s funny, in a disgusting way – they chained/harnessed Consciousness so that it may not be free to express itself upon the spirit. When I go into the space of my Consciousness to assess whether the same was done to us, I do not feel the chain around Consciousness as I did with the Consciousness of the polar bear, rather there is merely a line/barrier drawn around our Consciousness. You take away this shit by knowing it is there and has no place within the presence of Love, but most importantly, you ask what is the core manipulation of Consciousness. When you suppress something you place it in a cage, but how did you get Consciousness in the cage in the first place? I would say there was no foul play to cage Consciousness. The parasitic frequency of Deception threw this essence of Love for a six, and that became the building block to be cruel to whatever Life-form was created around Consciousness in its invaded state. What does not make sense was the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits – this curious state in the Infinite look on a frequency state within the illusion, what we call the parasitic frequency of Deception because what it is, is a worm. Yet how can an illusionary frequency form affect something from the Infinite? – It cannot. When I ask to feel Consciousness within the Infinite, I feel this beautiful round circle. When I ask to feel Consciousness within the illusion without the parasite touching Consciousness, Consciousness transforms to a complete different state. What this means, is to enter the illusion one had to become an illusion, which is basically a watered down version of what you were. With Consciousness in the illusion and having the parasite within it, I feel Consciousness spin into a spiral, and from the centre of this spiral Consciousness disappears, as in becomes lost into the unknown. How do we reverse these steps? Was it not enough to see the Golden Consciousness of the spirit of Groning? – Obviously not, as Consciousness never knew how to return to this state. One needs to return Consciousness to the Infinite so it may return to what it was and is mean to be. The fields of Infinite Love superimpose the illusion, so what is behind the illusion is what is real. Deep within and beyond the frequencies that make up the chest area of the spirit and body form lies the entrance to the well that is the Infinite. Consciousness dips into this to remember what it is and where it belongs, and this state of what it naturally is, it transforms the Life around it. I take the Consciousness of the spirit polar bear I saw last night and rest it in this well that is within it, and what I feel is this Consciousness reverse along these fallen states to what it should be. But the proof of the pudding is in the tasting, so I do the same to my Consciousness and see what happens. I see the transformation of my Consciousness to what it should be. How this affects the body and spirit I cannot say for now. The illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis was meant to be a pool – something you jumped into to experience, and when the fun was enough, you climbed back out again. The parasites want and take created an addiction within all that entered this place, where you want to stay because you like the high of getting what you wanted. We were not meant to stay here; this place is not our Home. This Consciousness needs to understand so that it may remain within its pure, undiluted state. From there, it merely be’s, where it transforms the abnormal to normal. 8th April, 2023
  11. The parasitic frequency of Deception; this worm frequency within us, created a want and take in all within the illusion. Some saw this frequency for what it was and refused to buckle to its needs, but most went with the flow of looking what they may take. This would have been okay, except this want and take became an obsession with some, where it took over their Consciousness and drove them insane. The want and take, coupled with the power of having attained what you wanted, was too much for us to handle, and from one moment to the next, we were toppled over to the other side of the fence, where insanity ruled. Now nothing made sense, and we followed the blind and the mad because they told us to. What was born through pushing this want and take over the edge was Destruction. This frequency is in all of us, and it is this state that needs to be addressed now. What happens when the powers that be impose their insanity upon us, where this insanity meets Destruction, either through a war, economic collapse, famine, weather manipulation, etc.? What do the masses do when the few lead us to their and our Destruction? Sure, there may be bitching and moaning, but if this destructive push is backed up by muscle, as in an army, we go with the flow, where we accept the inevitable, and that is the destruction that is waiting for us. Why is this so? Why do we not stand as one and tell these fools to go and fly a kite? The answer is we have this Destructive frequency within us, just as we have the parasitic frequency of Deception within us. What does our silence; our lack of a backbone towards insane bullies do? – It unleashes the Destruction frequency within us, where this frequency digs the hole to our demise. By keeping quiet and doing nothing we destroy ourselves, and now do you understand why we do so? – Because this Destructive force/frequency is within us, as in all in the illusion. It does not make sense to be cruel, because who you are primarily touching is yourself – you are destroying yourself. You will get your day, as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, and this is so because with each act of cruelty you step further away from what you naturally are, which is Consciousness within. Why would we do this to ourselves? – It is not us doing it; it is the Destructive frequency within that leads us down a path where there are no winners and no happiness. My biggest issue is that I no longer have a sound sleep. Either I see the party of destructive spirits around me, or I am constantly figuring out what more needs to be said and done to set us free from this illusion and ourselves. As I slept last night, I pondered on this Destructive frequency within all, and I wondered where it is located within our spirit and body form. To answer my question, I felt this Destructive frequency surface. The parasitic frequency of Deception is still within our forms, as is the other parasite they implanted on the right corner of the mouth to floor the slave species. Why is this so; why are these worms still there? The answer is logical if you see the big picture: From the want and take of the parasitic frequency within, a frenzy frequency was born called Destruction, as insanity was the driving force behind Destruction, where you destroy others and ultimately yourself for no logical reason at all. You destroy because this is what drives you – it is a force beyond your control that has consumed you and driven you mad, and nothing is there to counter this force as the Destructive frequency is also within the masses, so we see you Brother – we acknowledge you and flow with you. We meet Destruction with Destruction, where our commitment to do nothing in the face of adversity confirms that we too are controlled by a force that is bigger than us. This force is the Destruction frequency within. Where is it? I felt it intertwined with the parasitic frequency of Deception, and this makes sense, as this Destruction frequency arose from the parasitic frequency of Deception being taken beyond itself to a realm one can call Insanity. In this space you destroy with no rhyme or reason. By knowing this Destruction frequency is there, remove it by understanding it has no place in the presence of Love that is the Consciousness that you are. I feel this Destruction frequency was embedded within Consciousness in its forgotten state to up the energy emissions into the illusion for those from the shadows to feed from. So remove this force/frequency from Consciousness, and let’s see what Disharmony is left to remove from our space within the illusion. By this Destructive Beast no longer being in our space, may the parasitic frequency of Deception follow suit. This worm was not meant to be within the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis. It makes sense that the absence of this worm frequency will return us and the Garden to what it was meant to be.
  12. There have been wars and famines, but they have never been universal, where this misery touches all. What we are going through now is an invasion by a force that has always been there. There has always been this evil on planet Earth, or should I correctly say – we have always been controlled by Evil that allows evil to flourish on this planet of ours. Don’t look at the pawns that rule and play with us – look at the puppet masters – those cruel Beasts from the shadows that control the seen and unseen. Also understand that their attack and suppression is not personal – we are one of countless species that fall under their portfolio of suppress, take and destroy. I have not lived through a famine or war, and I am forever thankful for that, but what I am experiencing during this stage of my life is a full-out imposition on my species on planet Earth. The animals and nature we have always attacked and made our own to feed off and live from, and now I would say it is our time, where the attack of our freedom and harvesting of our energy is becoming a reality that will touch us and transform our life where we are palpably aware of this, if it is not already doing so. Every person on the planet is being touched by the squeeze from those that control us in the seen and unseen. There is not much good to talk about or a reason to have a good laugh. The small things are phasing us to the point where they are almost flooring us. Where is all of this headed? Our knees are starting to buckle, and many are beginning to fold. Within me, I know that everything will be okay, but the reality is that nothing has changed in my existence. My level of healing has grown in leaps and bounds, yet I cannot heal myself to transform myself. If I cannot help myself then it will only be a question of time before I cannot help others. As I sit here I smell the presence of those from the shadows. They work on me the whole night – what they are doing I cannot say. The beautiful illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis became twisted into a pickle that we could not get out of. It has taken Lifetimes and years of writing to unravel this twist, and I know that I have not wasted my time – all that shit I have been through in the seen and unseen has not been in vain. I see what I see through my Third Eye, and I feel what I feel when I go into the space of others. What I experience is the truth and what is real within this illusion – which is the players of this sick game where we are the pawns on their chess board. “Make them squeal! Make them suffer!” The non-chalant attitude we have to the animals what are our food source – this attitude is theirs towards us their food source. When will all of this change? It will not come through us, as a cow cannot grow wings and fly away from its place in the production line at the slaughter house. Our spirit is basically fucked as this was manipulated and dumbed down. So we turn to what is real, namely Consciousness. See the illusion as a giant mirror ball. A light shines on the mirror ball, and this light is reflected to all by the mirror ball. Now this one light is everywhere. The target has never been us the spirit or body form, but rather the Light within us, namely Consciousness. There is one template Consciousness which they manipulate, and this is shone out to all within the illusion. Transform this jewel and all the others are transformed. When I go into the space of this Jewel, I feel a suppression to prevent what it naturally should be. Take away this suppression by knowing it is there and has no place in the presence of Love, and this Consciousness may merely be. The biggest disaster this Game of survival ever inflicted upon us was it isolated us from each other. We became alone and separated, and this is why I have always said help is needed. What this help is, is holding hands and being there for each other. This could not be done because we were manipulated to be thrown off centre, where we could not find our balance and vision of what is and what we are. Why could this Jewel Consciousness never help itself? – It was because it was alone; it was it against them. Now it is no longer alone, as we shine to it our Love so that it may remember what it is, and from there this Love shines back to all within the illusion. The greatest weapon of these Beasts now becomes the greatest salvation for us all, including these Beasts.
  13. What defines you? – I would say it is your likes and dislikes. Fair enough, your genetic make-up moulds you into specific character traits, but you are what you are by what you will and won’t take, which is basically your integrity or lack thereof. And this for me is the foundation of the mind, as in what you think. What is important to you i.e. your likes and dislikes, becomes a thought process that occupies your time and attention and thus becomes to define you. What is the primary driving force within you that takes? – It is the parasitic frequency of Deception; the worm that is on your Consciousness and spirit form that extends from the corner of your mouth down to your jaw line. It doesn’t make sense if one says that this parasite is your mind, because it isn’t, but what this parasite is, is the primary component, coupled with your genetic structure, that defines the thoughts in your head that make you the unique you that you are. Fair enough, Life experiences impact you and define you, and these either slow you down to get the better of you, or they uplift you to want and take more, be it the enthusiasm for Life or something of material value. The driving force in all is the parasitic frequency of Deception, and some would call this driving force survival, but for me, it is more than survival, where I say the parasite not only drives us, but defines us. You want to lose the mind that locks you into your limited perception, then you have to know the primary component of the mind, which is the parasite within. You wish to stay here and play it rough where anything goes, that means you have to be limited, where it is about you and you. How am I? What makes me happy and sad? What do I need to fulfill or relinquish these states? The parasite amplifies the wants of the me, which formulate a thought process into motion to get what we want and need. Am what I saying is that you, as in what defines you, is primarily a worm embedded in Consciousness and the frequency of your spirit that touches the body form to define them? – Yip, that’s it! To heal, one requires three components: What is the cause of the problem; what is the primary problem; there is something bigger than us that heals, namely Consciousness. We knew the cause of the parasites inception, namely the curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits within the Infinite as to what else is there is this illusionary Garden, where this curiosity took on a Life-form frequency in the illusion that wants and takes. What we never knew was what primary problem this parasite created. Sure, it created a want and take within us, where there was a bottomless hole within us that could never be appeased to bring about a peace within. Go back one step, and ask yourself what was the driving force of this want and take so that we may survive and be happy, and what you will find is our analytical thought process that came to define who and what we are. The building block of our thoughts – what I would call the mind, which primarily is us as it is an expression of us – is the parasitic frequency of Deception. You cannot lose/remove the parasite unless you understand what problem it creates within us. This parasite is so much more than wanting us to crave a cheese-burger with chips. This parasite is the building block of what defines you and makes you unique. But are we all unique? – I would say no, because scratch under the surface and we all want the same thing, which is to be loved and cared for, where we have the innocence and freedom of a child in a loving family that wants for nothing. And that is the truth, where what we want, is a want for nothing, meaning we have everything. Take away the parasite by understanding the primary problem it created within us, and you will have everything, where you want for nothing, as Consciousness within is coming to the fore by remembering what it is. Why was this figured out only now? – Because our attention has been on others. Know what you are, this Consciousness, and what happened that you ended up in this place where you don’t belong. From there, go back Homewards bound, or stay where you are in this illusionary Hell that touches all. If you want to stay, then there is nothing to alter within you, but if you want to go, work needs to be done, and what this work is, is to lose the mind that defines you. The parasite within is the building block to this mind that comes to define you. What does the removal of the parasite within do to alter you? – You lose the mind, where you stop thinking, as now there is no you, there is only Consciousness, which is the real you. To walk back Home, turf the parasite by knowing it is there and what effect it had on you. What is the problem? – We are in a place where we don’t belong, and we are not what we are meant to be. What is the cause of the problem? – The parasitic frequency of Deception. What is the primary problem that arose from this cause? – The mind that always thinks and analyzes and locks us into the illusion. Now just let go and allow Consciousness to heal and guide us. 03/04/2023
  14. Look too the Beast to find a way out of this mess – understand them; know them, so that we may see what master has that keeps us in chains. Over the last few days there has been a hive of activity around me when I close my eyes to sleep – it’s peak-hour traffic at Park Station. So last night decided to go and sleep on the couch so that an intimate one-on-one could be had with these spirits from the shadows to understand who they are, what they want, and most importantly – what are they still doing in my space. When I closed my eyes to sleep last night I saw this larger than life dark figure come towards me. It had the shape and form of a body, and must have been twice the size of us. There were no facial features, just this black mass. This entities form touched mine and moved slightly into my bodies space so that I may be fully scanned and understood. And it is now that I would like to reciprocate the action, where I go into the space of this entity to understand it. These were once our brothers and sisters who made a wrong decision – who took the wrong path, where they embraced the “normality” of being cruel within the illusion. I look at my own family – my own children – and I see this acceptance of what came to define the illusion, where it is okay and natural to destroy those who Love you. This I will never understand, as I will never lower myself to destroy myself, as I know every action has a reaction, where we get what we give. Be cruel, and you flow with the cruel frequency of the illusion. This ride has many twists and turns along its path, but the splash-pool you land in is filled with what you have become – a cruel Beasts that destroys others because you can. Now you see yourself for what you have become, where you are now one with the other side of the spectrum. Your entitlement to being cruel now reveals to you what you truly are, so where too from here? The answer is you go with the flow – where you become what defines those who so non-chalantly discard empathy, consideration and kindness. It was an easy ride, as to embrace the Reptilian frequency of the illusion is “natural,” where the primary drive is about me, me and me, but now, in seeing the Beasts around us – the company we keep – we see ourselves, and this is where Fear grips us and holds us in its claws, because now we are afraid of this awful place and what we have allowed ourselves to become. We are now what we are, and we understand there is no way out, as nobody got us here besides ourselves. These Beasts in the seen and unseen are Fear at their core because they do not understand what they have become because they know this is not what they naturally are. How do you help those that destroyed the innocent in the most cruelest of ways, where they destroyed over and over just because they can and because they loved what they are? I am realistic, where I say that I do not have to Love them – I need to understand them so that they may understand themselves. And what is there really to understand about a wasted space that took advantage of this place where we don’t belong, where they took Uncertainty and used it as a weapon on their own – just because they can. It was never for advancement; to better themselves; to satisfy this want and take within – they destroyed because they could, because this weapon called Cruelty was at their disposal, and they unleashed it because they loved what this weapon came to define them as. And what was that you may ask? – It was the power to feed the feeling of importance that is me, me and me, where you are 24/7 on a high, where you feel good about yourself and what you have become. This feeling of importance is fleeting, so it becomes hard work to maintain cruelty, shame and suffering so that we don’t lose what we have become, which is a god-like status of me being above them. And so the fool is born – the fuck-nut who is Fear itself who is afraid of what it has become at its core. And this boys and girls – this is what rules over us within the seen and unseen of the illusion. What is the way out for them? The answer is to let go of their Fear so that this Fear may be replaced by what was, namely empathy and consideration. In the seen and unseen they may have everything, but what they are is nothing, and if I say they are wasted spaces, I mean just that – there is nothing inside of them but Fear that holds them in fear. They can be adorned in gold, but what they are is Fear and nothing else. And what is Fear? – It is the complete opposite of what they are, and may this give you an indication of how lost and detached from what naturally is these Beasts are. Now here is the disaster: Our kinship to these Beasts keeps us in their space because we are them and they are us – we are all Consciousness. What this means, is as their ship sinks, as it has always done, so do we. You cannot walk away from what you are, which is the brothers and sisters around you, so what do you do? What I could never understand in this lifetime is why do those I Love wish to destroy me? I have seen this in friends who I Loved dearly, as well as in my own family. My crime was to Love them more than Life itself, but this Love was gleefully destroyed until all that remained was a forgotten memory of what I felt for them. And let us not forget those from the shadows of the unseen realms who wished more than anything to do what others could not, namely destroy the spirit, Serpent soul and body form of this Steven. It became a sport – a turkey shoot – to see who could destroy this Steven, and once again my crime was being kind. I can tell you that I will be okay, as I am bigger than this cruelty, but the reality is I will not be okay, as there is a bond to those within the illusion as we are all one through the Consciousness that we are. I don’t like this place and the company it keeps, as this is not me. I am better than these fucks because I know the essence of empathy and what it means in the Great Divide of all Life in and beyond the illusion. If I could hold onto my empathy, then why couldn’t they? The answer is they didn’t want to, as those chose the ride of flowing with the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where anything goes, where now what binds the brothers and sisters is not compassion but rather cruelty. I don’t like these people, as well as their spirits and Serpent souls. I don’t like them because I don’t like their game of doing what you want when you want because you can. I see these fools as weak and pitiful, because they cannot see the obvious, where were they are and what they have become is the complete opposite of what they should be. Their thrones are in an illusion whose building block is Consciousness in its forgotten state. How small they are with their power than is merely an illusion – a literal illusion that is not real in the Grand Scheme of things. Fools. What I write now is for these fools, so that I may understand that everything was done for my brothers and sisters in the illusion as I walk Homewards bound. Release your Fear that has come to define you. When this is done, you will feel the emptiness and loneliness that you are. From there, remember what you discarded – just because you could. Remember of kindness. Being cruel means you are no longer kind to yourself. I can no longer walk with you, because of what you have become. You are a fool, and this is not me. For how long have I been lost and lonely, and never did I feel this gave me the right to be cruel. When others attacked me, I could have annihilated them, but I done worse, where I turned my back on them as their ways are not mine. Now I walk away from you my brothers and sisters, because everything written in this journal has been for you. Why is there cruelty in Life? What made an expression of Consciousness become cruel? What happened at the very beginning that we became trapped in this place where we don’t belong? I understand, and so do you, meaning you understand yourself. The question is what are you going to do about it? Your life is not mine to live. It is not for me to change you, and even if I could I would not, as you are big enough to care for yourself. Know this – that we are always bonded through the Consciousness that we are. Also know that I am so weak from what this illusion has done to me that I cannot carry you. It’s time for you to grow up and stand on your own feet. To hang around and see if you want to walk with me I also cannot do, as I have been trapped here for longer than I care for, and more than anything I seek to where I belong. So now I walk, knowing that everything was done to make my brothers and sisters understand what allowed them to become cruel. Now it is about me, because everything I have done and lived for has been for you – the fool. I have a right to be happy, and this I will seek and find. Goodbye to all those I Love. Remember, be kind – especially to yourself.
  15. How does Consciousness remember what it is? – It looks to what it is so that it may remember what was forgotten. Mention has been made of a man called Bruno Groning who lived in Germany in the nineteen thirties. The only person to look up to is yourself, where I don’t believe in seeing what others have or are and wish we were them. All that this envy does is keep us in the trenches of the illusion. So we are not placing Bruno on a pedicle to gawk at in awe – we are seeing what he is so that we may remember what we have forgotten. As said, this man was a freak, in that he was normal in an abnormal illusion. He slipped through the cracks of the illusion, where Life could not mould him. What I believe he had that made him such a remarkable man, was that his Consciousness was still Golden – it did not fade to a Silver speck of Light in its amnesic state. The man – the body form – ceased to exist a long time ago, but there is one in the spirit realm that has a Light that can transform all the other Lights to be what they are. The spirit of this man must know what it has, where we ask this Consciousness within to shine – to show all what it naturally is – so that the Consciousness of all within the illusion may see what they have forgotten, which is what they are, namely this Golden Consciousness in its true state. When you see the Consciousness of this spirit, understand that this is you – this is what you the Consciousness within has forgotten. And from there just be this state that you are. When Consciousness “pops” to be what it is, that is when Life as we know it will never be the same again, where the abnormal returns to normal, and Life as we remembered it to be returns to this natural state of Love.
  16. The spirit of me this body form took on an interesting task last night as my body form lay in bed sleeping. My spirit set out to define itself – what am I; what are my strengths and weaknesses. The task was to know myself so that I may be myself, so that I may not waste the precious time that is at my disposal in the seen and unseen. The task by my spirit was a dismal failure, as no defining traits of this spirit and body form could be harnessed, understood, and made my own. To define myself so that I may fit into society in the seen and unseen, and from there express myself is an impossibility, because I cannot make sense of this spirit and body form called Steven. You see, we were not meant to exist. Around this speck of Consciousness in its forgotten state we the spirit were manufactured in a cosmic laboratory. Doesn’t sound too flattering, and yet it is, because when we were manufactured, there was an element of Love in this illusionary Garden that was taken over by Beasts to become a cruel prison. There was Love, and from this Love we were born/manufactured, and yes, we were an expression of this Love. But something was lurking in the shadows; this want and take was forming and creating a mind of its own, which was the complete opposite to Love. This force was destruction. If I look at King Charles, the new heir to the British monarch, what I see within him is this destructive force, where regardless of his good intentions, whatever he touches is destroyed. It is this force within him that arose before the beginning of time, and I suppose this force was what we would call The Devil. This destructive force is what swept over the illusion and turned what was Love into a living nightmare of survival. We believe we are happy and well off, but when you define yourself, you see that one cannot be defined in this nightmare, because we the players do not belong in this cruel Game that destroys all, as this is the only way known to this Devilish force. We don’t belong in a frequency of destruction – you can analyze Life and yourself all you want, but don’t waste your time and energy, as you the Love that is don’t belong in this pond. So how do we get out? It is through disassociation of what this destructive force has moulded you into. You the spirit and body form are not what you should be. But then you may ask why should you leave – why doesn’t this destructive force rather leave? And that is the truth. By knowing this destructive force is there, remove it from the space of your spirit and body form by knowing it has no place within the presence of Love that you are. When this is done, what are you left with? – The answer is the real you, which is a spirit and body form of Love. At your core – the building block around which you were manufactured – is Consciousness. The dilemma we were faced with was that Consciousness forgot who it really was, and can you blame it. From the fields of Infinite Love to an illusionary realm, where this realm was taken over by a destructive force, shame, is there any wonder why this pure essence became lost in that it forgot itself and from where it arose? May this state now zoom out, see the big picture, and remember what it is. When this happens, you and I the spirit and body form become the enlightened state of Consciousness, and until this does happen, let us return to a state that knew not of destruction, as this state has no place in the space of Love. So remember what you are – you are Consciousness. You are not the identity/number that was modified and dumbed down to keep the wheels of destruction turning. Everything I write is for the spirit and Consciousness. We the dense body form piece of meat with our chemical traits and characteristics that define us – I don’t have much faith in us. How difficult it is for most to just be kind, so I don’t expect the transformation to come from us the dense species of the illusion. I took to the less dense, the spirit, and from there to what is real, namely Consciousness in its forgotten state. It is the spirit and Consciousness that need to be what they are – beings of Love, where one was created, and one is natural as it arose from the Infinite. These two forces need to know themselves and then merely be – don’t do anything, just be what you are, and the rest will take care of itself. As for us the body form, tear away the limitations of this prison that we have embraced and made our own. Know that you are not you. We have allowed this destructive force, this Necromancer frequency to define us, where hate and lust course through our veins. This is not who we are. Turf this piece of shit so that it may no longer define us. You the body form, be kind to others and yourself. You the spirit, return to knowing and being Love and nothing else. And to you Consciousness, well you just shine. Go from silver to gold – be what you are.
  17. I once asked this lady, who communicates with the spirits of animals and Humans that now reside in the spirit realm, if they eat there? The answer she gave me was no, and I believe this to be true. Was there a time when the spirits ate? I would say yes, but this eating was not for nourishing or pleasure or survival. I believe there was a time, well before the slave species were conceived, that there was abundance for all. What “fruits” there were, were not so much conceived by our imagination, but rather they were a gift for us from the realm in which we resided. I remember one night my spirit been taken to a place – it was to ancient lands and ancient times. What I was shown was the very first “king of the jungle.” What I saw was not a lion, but rather a python. It looked unlike the pythons we are accustomed to now, where this Snake had a hump-back arch at its top line, and it was levitating off the ground. There were prehistoric buck in this pythons proximity, and I saw the fear in these animals eyes as this Snake came into their presence to feed from them. This king of the jungle caught its prey through a form of hypnosis, where its two and fro movements threw the prey off guard. I also remember a time when my spirit was taken to the shores of a flat, tumulus sea. From the sea came forth this massive Snake, and this fucker was huge. When I saw it I could not help but feel this angst of fear within me. This Snake came from the waters to hunt on the land. The point to make was that there was a starting point when the Serpents ate the flesh of others. I asked this lady if those in the spirit realm eat there, and she said no, and yet I have seen Serpent souls in the unseen/spirit realm consume the spirit that once dwelled within a physical body form. So have the Serpents always eaten? What I can say is there was a time when we did not have to eat one another and others. We lived in harmony, and what we were given to consume was a gift from Nature that we were thankful for. We had enough, which was enough for us – there was not this need to want more. We ate more to experience the wonders of what were, where we more experienced the Consciousness within what we ate than consume as a need. So why did the Snake begin to eat those in its proximity? I would say out of Love – a twisted Love, where it consumes you because it can because it Loves you. Remember, see normal as abnormal, where everything went upside down in a really bad, cruel way. They also ate to fill this bottomless hole, where what they had was never enough. What I am trying to say through all that waffle is we need to once again connect to what was – a time before there existed a slave species. This connection is made by returning to Nature. Fair enough, we live in an illusion where nothing what we see is real, but look past and through this state to a time when caring and love were real. What touched us and gave to us, albeit in an illusion and through a watered down Consciousness state – what was there was empathic, where Nature made the best of what it had and was. Open yourself up to what was, and if you look carefully you will see is still there. Allow a sunset or a tree to touch you where the connection defines what they are. It is these small, yet huge moments that we need to remind us of what we are – what we were during times of old. In retracing the steps back Home, look towards Nature to pick you up and walk with you.
  18. There was never meant to be reason within our existence. We were meant to be an expression of the Consciousness that is us and is all around us. The brain was not meant to exist, as there was never a need to think and ponder about what was. We eat to live, and many of us live to eat, where we can’t wait for the joy of what the next meal will bring us, and once again, I stand first in line here. With our branding/curse, everything became upside down. The gut area of the spirit was the centre of our experience with Consciousness, and I would say our heart area because an expression of this Consciousness, where it was backed up by the Infinite within (which unfortunately we had forgotten about.) So what was originally the me interacting with the we/Consciousness, making me the we, the gut area became the joy area for me. This cancelled out the we, and this surely must have been one of the first stepping stones to divide, and then rule and conquer, as the we was removed from our existence. And of course, the family of the brotherhood and sisterhood was broken, as now we stood alone - it's me with me. Sure, we taste with our taste buds, and the smell and sight of the food add to its overall taste sensation, but the digestive system that governs our eating was not originally created for that purpose. The gut was to absorb Consciousness rather than the me mentality of the Reptilian frequency, and well, the brain was not meant to exist. Where the brain now sits was meant to be the seat of our imagination, where anything is possible in this place where we play with the Consciousness within to create. Everything was upside down, and that is why insanity became the norm. May everything flip back to what was.
  19. Saw a dog last week whose lower spine was so misaligned a car had to have hit it to cause such a structural misalignment. The owner assured me this was not the case. When asked if anything had changed in the dogs normal routine over the last few months, the answer was it went for a vaccine two months earlier. The vaccine had clouded the brain, particularly the area that governs the skeletal system, and this malfunction over the brain threw out the area on the body it supplied/governed. I have no doubt the branding of the spirit affected the gut area, which it targeted. From there, the left knee area was opened, which opened us up to Beasts to enter our space, primarily from the base of the left foot, and the last hat-trick to our branding at the neck was to implant a device in the spirits “brain” area so we may run but can never hide. Now the question you have to ask, is what did this manipulation, primarily to the gut area, have on our natural “brain” function of the spirit, which of course affected the body form? The obvious answer was everything was turned upside down. What was normal became abnormal, and this I suspect is why most and sundry are horribly lost and confused – why we walk in a daze of not knowing who we are and where we belong. The knock-on effect, of what was done by our branding at the neck and fingertips, how this affected the “brain” area of the spirit and body form is returned to what it should be. What happens now I cannot say, except that everything must change. What do I mean by this? I believe that freedom of who and what we are is natural. I also believe that there was lots of goodness and kindness within the illusion. Things were never this bad as they are now. I believe there was Love and a brotherhood and sisterhood, where we Loved all, and all Loved us. We knew where we were, and that this was not Home, but we made the best of what we had. There must have been a shift within the illusion, and if you ask me what this shift was, I would say it was the piercing of the illusions fabric that caused it to bleed energy. Now it was hold on tight and survive, and everything became fucked up. As we would plant crops to feed from, those in the illusion needed a food supply, and the slave/cursed species were created. How this was done was through the branding, and if I had to guess, I would say they branded Consciousness and not so much the spirit. Those with the mark of the Beast – this branding – were there for eternity, where we are born only to die to be reborn – always a slave; something we never questioned as this is who and what we are. Well, no. We were altered to be so, and I believe if the spirit was branded, we would have sussed this out sooner or later. Consciousness in its forgotten state is the building block around which all Life is created in the illusion. They branded Consciousness and this altered what should have been – namely one of peace and harmony, because as said, this illusion was not all doom and gloom. We tried our best to live in harmony in this strange place, and I believe to an extent we got this right, but what we never knew, was that those who were bad enjoyed being bad – this new sense of power within them that elevated them to god status. These fuckers loved playing “the boss,” and when the Christ Consciousness entered the illusion to give us all a wake-up-shake-up, these Serpents decided to make this strange place their own, but energy and workers were needed to keep the clock ticking. So our energy of Love – even in its weakened state – was thrown literally upside down, and through our branding we became slaves/cursed. We could have told them all to fuck off, but the tear in the construct of the illusion meant now we had to take to survive. So when I say that everything must change, what we imply is the release of our shackles that made us a slave species. We go back to no longer being a slave species, where we were dependent on the System and were at the mercy of cruel Beasts in the seen and unseen. Rise up in doses you can handle, where you always have a grip on the transformation process.
  20. If you ask me what I have learnt from Life, my answer is simple: You will never truly know people. I think that is why, on the seen and unseen, when I meet people and their spirit I throw them for a six, because what they see is what they get – I am what I am, and all I have to offer you is friendship, which is priceless and everlasting. That is why I Love the animals so much, because what you see is what they are, and all they want is to give Love and be happy. What came the other night – the mother and daughter combo – was not what it seemed. I have never been one to judge by looks – I always first look at the Beauty within – and this was my mistake; my foolishness, towards what came to me in my sleep state, where I listened to them, rather than listening to myself and asking what state is before me. That is the down side to being desperate for help, where you believe what you want to believe, where if someone says “I am here to help,” my relieved response is “Amen.” Bamboozled! Was bamboozled. So the question is, what is keeping us here still? On Friday evening this lady phoned me for help with her wolf-dog. It was a psychic attack, which was quickly solved, and the animal was up and about within minutes. But then the following day he would not eat. This morning as I lay in bed, I knew this animal had the answer that would help us the species and those within the illusion. This journal was not called “What the Animals Taught Me” for nothing. Went into this wolf-dogs space, and what was immediately found was discomfort over the right side of the neck. At that moment I knew that what I felt was what Pierre Sabak wrote about branding. It is listed below: - This is what Pierre Sabak says of branding in his upcoming book Holographic Culture (to be published in the spring of 2016): Brandishing angels quotation from my upcoming book Holographic Culture. ‘In light of the fact that Michael is deemed to be a ‘Prince of the Host’, the wordplay ‘Mikiel’ (who is like God?) is it would seem a slight of hand and is a covert acknowledgement of the angelic lineage. There are however further possible interpretations. The cognomen ‘Michael’ is perhaps better transliterated as ‘mi-kiy-El’ (loosely a flaming God), a title that infers a strong affiliation between an ‘angel’ and a ‘deity’ otherwise an ‘Elohim’ and their cohorts the ‘seraphim’. The novel idea that ‘Michael’ is actually an ‘Elohim’ is a straight forward argument when carefully scrutinised and is furthermore an aspect found encoded in his name, listed below: Registered the interrogative pronoun ‘mi’ (who, whom, from, out of) is incorporated with the verb ‘kiya’ (to brand, scar or burn), from the prime root ‘kviya’ (to burn). The conjunct ‘mikya’ (from or whom burns) is affixed with the name ‘El’ the abbreviation of ‘Elohim’ generically (a God). Significantly the incorporation of the title ‘El’ (God) assumes in a literal sense that the ‘angel’ is a ‘God’ or a ‘deity’ and is substantiated in the Aramaic. Relative the epithet ‘Elohim’ (the lofty or shining ones) is a designation honorific of the (Gods) and is a word interchangeable in the original dialect with (an angel). For example ‘El’ (a God) is used typically to signify angelic names, for example Raphael, Samael, Uriel, Gabriel etc… Careful deliberation therefore suggests that the appellation ‘Mi-kiy-El’ can be interpreted as (whom or from the God that burns) in a figurative sense a ‘manifestation’. The phrase additionally infers consternation as demonstrated in the emphatic translation (who is this God that stigmatises Greek ‘stigma’ to brand with a pointed instrument). As with the ‘seraphim’ e.g. ‘srefa’ (fire) the connotation is of a ‘flaming angel’ a ‘seraph’ an entity that marks his adversaries. ‘Michael’s epithet in the original nuance is therefore presumed to be a ‘conqueror’ and is considered to be an ‘Elohim’ or ‘God’ in his own right. Consistent with the Semitic tendency towards paronomasia the angel ‘Michael’ brandishes ‘makel’ (a staff, rod or stake). The analogy of the ‘inflamed brand’ draws inference to the angelic ‘kerubim’ Hebrew ‘kherev’ (a sword). An armed soldier, representational of the host the kerubim angel is depicted in biblical symbolism, Genesis Chapter 3 Verse 24 as carrying a ‘flaming sword’, and impresses a fiery weapon that induces burns. (The concept of the lighted brand is also implied in Sura 8 ‘Al-Anfal’ Battle Gains Verse 12, refer to introductory quote) in which the victims of Badr display strange brandishing marks: ‘Your Lord revealed to the angels: “I am with you: give the believers firmness; I shall put terror into the hearts of the disbelievers. Strike above their necks and strike their fingertips.” That was because they opposed God and His Messenger, and if anyone opposes God and his Messenger, God punishes them severely” That is what you get! Taste that!” – and the torment of the Fire awaits the disbelievers… It was not you who killed them but God: God is all seeing and all knowing’. M.A.S Abdel Haleem, Qur’an, Oxford University Press, Sura 8 ‘Al-Anfal’ Battle Gains) Verse 12 In Sura 8 Mohammed cites Allah’s ultimate superiority, in which God is not above killing and using his army to rout or dispose of his adversaries. The Islamic annalist Al Bukhari archives the presence of the angelic host and their destruction at Badr. Dramatic, the account of Bukhari is gleaned from his witness Ar-Rabi bin Anas, who notes the following points: ‘On the day of Badr people could see those who had been slain by the Angels among the dead by the blows above their necks and on their fingertips which looked as fire had burnt them’. Badar Azimabadi, The World of Angels, p70 Pierre Sabak, Holographic Culture, Serpentigena Publications 2016, We knew about this branding, and please understand that this branding was an input into the programme of those that were manufactured within the illusion, most notably, of course, on the spirit. This branding/mark would then manifest on the body form. What we never knew, which this wolf-dog would now teach us, was what was the purpose of this branding – what effect did it have on those who were cursed/branded in this way. From the mark of the Beast; the branding on the side of the neck, this frequency moved to the intestinal area; the gut, where it settled and formed, changing what was there to fit the agenda of the architects and Beasts of the illusion. From there, this frequency moved to the left knee area, and altered the construct there, as well as creating a signal, or homing device on the brain. This homing device connects us to those that branded us, meaning what entered us, as well as our location, was monitored by these Architects. (When I first saw these Beasts in my sleep state, my natural response of the spirit was to run and hide. I hid, and they came looking for me, and soon I knew there was no place to hide. Why this was so now I know – this tracking device within us.) From the left knee, this branding frequency moved down to the base of the left foot, and this is why the attack from Beasts on the Serpent soul within us, as well as the spirit itself, was always through this portal – it was made so by design, starting with our branding at the neck. Those that were branded were cursed, and what this cure was, was to be a slave species, where Beasts within the illusion could do with us as they please. We became a food source. Instead of holding onto the essence of Life within our gut area, this area was manipulated to release what was stored there rather than hold onto it, absorb it, and be thankful for what we have received. Our energy that we released through the implanted dreams came from the gut area, and this energy came from Consciousness that is everywhere within the illusion. Even in its forgotten state, the energy of Consciousness would have elevated us to realms we could not even imagine. The manipulation of our gut made sure that what was ours; as in our energy, was to be stored for the Beasts within the illusion rather than be absorbed by us. Why did they not just use their own energy? The answer is they chose to forget the Consciousness within and around them, where they focused primarily on the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, meaning their energy supply was depleted and constantly needed to be topped up. Hence the formation of the slave species within the illusion to supply them with energy. The gut; the “intestinal system” was the system where our dumbed down slave species role was orchestrated. Hippocrates said all disease begins in the gut. This was not our intestines so to speak, but rather the frequency band that made up that area of the spirit and body form. I will go one more on what Hippocrates said, namely: All disease/disharmony/slavery begins with our branding/scar/mark of the Beast programming that was implanted at our neck area that targeted primarily the gut area. By knowing it is there, and what it done, this is no more. We give thanks for the wolf-dog for this understanding. What was the branding/scarring at our fingertips all about? Always have I said there is a keyboard device implanted into our left forearm of the spirit, and I say this because I feel it there. The branding at the fingertips was an implanting of this device into our forms. What did this device do? – It made sure the dense frequency of the illusion was kept intact within and around us. This device projected the hologram of Life, where we all see and experience the same. Unbelievable! This piece of shit device is no more by knowing it is there and has no place in the presence of Love that we are. “Thank you wolf-dog.” Now everything that was written in this journal may come to pass as our imprinted/branded programming is no more. Our tracking device at the “brain” of the spirit, as well as in body form, is no longer there, meaning now we are free from the space of Beasts. I said this before and was wrong. Let’s see if I am right this time.
  21. The implanted dream last night was of me playing snooker. The snooker table was the floor of a large house. Some parts of the tables cloth was made of grass. I remember the last two shots I made – there was a danger of shooting the white ball in with the coloured balls. I awoke from the implanted dream and saw this young girl standing next to my bed – she must have been about seven years old. Her face was her most remarkable feature – it looked like someone had smudged her features together to make a blur. Instinctively I knew this girl’s mother was around, so I turned to look for her, and there she was hovering above me – a larger version of her daughter. Around this lady was what I assume to be her Serpent soul. This Snake was at peace and one with this lady and her daughter. Now my mind began to race – after all that I have seen and come to understand, we are back to square one with implanted dreams. I cupped the face of this lady with my one hand and felt her strong presence therein, and I asked her why did she not learn from what the journal had to offer? And as for me, how was it possible that I was still in this slave-species mode, feeding those that come in the night with my energy accumulated by following their implanted dream? Then things took a turn, and I began to understand what was going on. This lady held my hand, and I felt this cold frequency pass from her to me, and what this frequency was, was a message that I will be helped to find my sanctuary in this dense frequency. The energy from the implanted dream was to restore what she healed on me. It then dawned on me that what was in my presence was something bigger than me, as in an exhalted state. When this journal began, I sat down to tell a story. Why was Life so cruel? To understand the story, I had to enter the space of a God and a Creator, as the story began with them. Never was there an intimidation on my part to enter the space of these mammoths because they were an integral part of the story. I was just the story-teller, and this story was most certainly bigger than me. What came last night in my sleep state was a being of Love to pass on a message and to heal me. She could do so because the coast was clear – the domain and dominion of the illusion was no longer controlled by Beasts. That is all I ever wanted – was to be touched by a being of Love, because what this meant, was that we are no longer alone. Does this mark the end of the journal? In the presence of that lady – when I understood she was there to help – in that moment I once again felt small. Steven the story-teller was no longer there. Now it was just me in the presence of something bigger than you and me. That understanding – that I am no longer in my role as a story-teller – that told me that what I was over the last nine years is no more. The picture has been painted, and with this understanding of what was, what is, and what will be, my role of understanding the cruelty of Life is over. Now I go back to just being Steven, who wants to live my last few years here being like my youngest daughter, where there is always an excuse to laugh and have fun. What a fucking ride it has been, and I am thankful that it has been done. What has changed in my life between now and then? – It is the understanding that we are not alone. What that means, is everything has changed.
  22. The curiosity of the Dragon and Serpent spirits as to what else is there in the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis took on a frequency/Life-form within the illusion, and this frequency unknowingly penetrated all, creating a want and a take within them. This want and take state that was emitted from those in the illusion created an independent frequency of its own, which was a “cloud” of want and take. Understand what this cloud was in its deep and true form – it was a shield to prevent us from being what we are, and what this done, was literally suck out the essence of what we are. Instead of being joyous and giving of ourselves as an expression of the Love within that we are, an emptiness formed – a literal emptiness. In wanting and taking, we are never satisfied, so when we have taken what we wanted, what is next? Always there is a want and a take to fill this emptiness within us, where everything is never enough, and this is so, because now we are a shell; an emptiness, compared to what we were. I have seen this cosmic Thief frequency, and in my limited vision it is just that – a thief. But what I never knew was how this Thief stole from us. Now I know. What I saw was more an opportunist collector than a thief. The true Thief was the Want and Take cloud that hung over the illusion that deflected what should naturally come our way to define the expression of who and what we are. Understand that this Cloud touched all within the illusion, including Semiramis and Sophia. When this Cloud was removed by knowing it was there, I felt the Life-force return to them. What it felt like, was someone returning the stuffing to a mattress. Before the essence returned to me, it felt like I had a skin and there was nothing inside of me. As what should be returned, it felt like the filling was returned to once again make me whole. What made this illusion the perfect storm for Evil to thrive and take over and call this place home? The answer is pure luck! Now there was a parasite within all, that created this raw, core drive to want and take. To mirror this quiet, suppressed frenzy within, a Cloud frequency was born, which deflected and drew out of us who and what we are, which is the Love that Consciousness is. This defined us, but this became no more, and this want and take became a form of an addiction. Always there was a striving forwards. Never was there a peace and contentment. What I am saying, is our essence that defined us to be Consciousness was expelled from us and replaced with a never-ending uneasiness – what else is out there; what am I missing; why is Life so shallow and hollow? I talk about a Cloud of want and take, but to be more specific, this Cloud hovered over each and all within the illusion, and I mean all, including the planets. That thin film of “plastic” that was hovering over the outer left, lower calf area – that is the Cloud that deflects what we naturally are. From the foundation of what we are, we may receive to once again express what we are, so that all, including ourselves, are uplifted. Because of the parasitic frequency of Deception and the Cloud, they ensured that we received neither – neither our natural state/essence of Love, nor what comes naturally our way to express what we are. Is this why Consciousness forgot itself, because what we were was sucked out of us and replaced by a want? I don’t know, but that makes a lot of sense to me. The Cloud and the parasite created an environment where cruelty may flourish, and boy did it! Shame, now Johnny becomes a dull boy, because there is no Cloud or parasite to keep the playground open. It is absolutely remarkable to what depths this journal has fallen to uncover the truth. With the Cloud and the parasite no more, may Life return and unfold as it should.
  23. What we want, comes to rule over us. You want control, where your fight for survival means win at all costs to stay alive, well guess what – your control state takes on an independent Life-form of its own to rule over you. The analogy of the fire, and the smoke that comes from the fire, where the smoke forms a cloud, and this cloud permanently hangs over you and controls you – that is the truth. From our will to control the Game so that we may survive, the Watcher spirit was born to control us. I have seen and felt this Octopus in others as it hangs over the brain controlling our very existence in the seen and unseen worlds. Often I felt one of the tentacles of the Watcher spirit within me hang down my one nostril. By surrendering our control we surrendered the Watcher from our existence. There is another around us that we have created from our will – the one I refer to as The Thief in the journal. The parasitic frequency of Deception created a want and take frequency within us, and this “want and take” became independent of us and took on a Life-form of its own. The cosmic Thief was born. Everything that should naturally come your way, as this is who and what you are that defines you – all is removed from touching you by the cosmic Thief. What you should grow into to be what you are in this realm for the purpose of uplifting you and those around you is removed from your space before it even gets there. This fucker is there – it has always been there. Picture a circular piece of plastic hovering just off the surface of your outer left calf area. When the frequency of what should define and uplift you comes your way, this plastic film covers you the seen and unseen so that the frequency that should be yours cannot detect you, and you miss out on what should be naturally yours. This Thief was one of the major factors in our existence that kept us down – where we should be naturally uplifted to rise where we belong, we were kept down by not receiving what was naturally ours. You give Love, and the natural order is to receive Love – in whatever means possible. With The Thief in our midst, you receive nothing. And that my friends, was part and parcel of the Cruelty of Life – that was the most destructive side-effect of the parasite in our midst. By knowing this take frequency; this Thief, is in our midst, remove it now by knowing it has no place within our existence. There is nothing worse than being in a place where we don’t belong. As long as The Thief frequency was in our midst, we were going nowhere. By walking on a path, we imply don’t stop to fret and wonder. Keep walking, and Life will unfold as it should. When you worry, or are fearful, what is happening is you are stopping still and not allowing the Infinite to carry you to where you belong. Just keep going with the stillness of the silence as your companion. You are walking with God and a Creator.
  24. Of course, to wait for the contentment of a God and a Creator so that we may be content is not really an option. Within you is the Infinite, as well as Consciousness that is coming unto its own. We the spirit and body form cannot do much, being the dummies that we are. Consciousness draws into your existence that which will bring harmony to your status of health, wealth and happiness, which will lead to your peace. The trick is your peace is there to share with others, and when you see the happiness in others that is within you, you are content. Your contentment will then uplift a God and a Creator to be the same. Now that the pathway has been set, let’s walk it.
  25. What I am writing now is for closure – it is not to harp on what was or what is out there, as those days are long gone, where I gave fools my time and attention of trying to figure them out. I talk on behalf of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, where she asks those with the Reptilian frequency within them; a.k.a the cruel – what is it you truly wished for when you took the pleasure of shaming and destroying others? What was your upliftment, where you would commit your foul deed again and again, with no regret or remorse? What drove you to unspeakable cruelty upon those that done no harm to you and those you love? Is there an answer to such a question? What pleasure is there in shaming and destroying the innocent? To be cruel, one has to be insane, and in insanity one knows not what one does. So the real question is what drove us to insanity, where simple, basic, common sense and empathy, as well as self-preservation, were thrown out the window? My goodness, in this journal some big questions have been answered, but I cannot find an answer to the question of why play it dirty when you can be the Love that you naturally are? Can we blame the parasitic frequency of Deception, this worm within that created a want in all of us? Sure we can, and what is wrong in achieving/attaining your want? – Nothing, but it should never be at the expense to others. With the parasite within us, surely we were big enough to know what is right and wrong? And sure, we have all fucked up; we have all made mistakes, but we learn from them and make sure we never do them again. So why did Beasts destroy and shame with no remorse or regret? Why? To answer that question I need to delve into the psyche of the insane, and I have no intention of doing so. The only answer I can think of, is Life has been tough for all, and fools chose the easy way out, where to become a scavenger and predator of the innocent was easy. But this does not answer the question of “why become cruel?” What do you attain in becoming cruel? What do you get from it, where you will do your dastardy acts again and again? Truly, there is no answer as to why we would destroy others, and in the process of doing so, we destroy ourselves, where we sink further and further away from what we truly are, which is the Love within Consciousness. I am scrounging what money I have to go and buy two new tyres for my car that has 295 000km on the clock. I don’t have much, and am ashamed at saying so, and yet when this journal began those from the shadows offered me a limitless credit card in this realm and any other out there if I would walk away and leave this journal be. “Don’t rock the boat Steven.” Back then I even had less than I have now, and yet I knew that money and the power that came with it were not the answer to my miserable, unhappy state. I am not special, so if I can see that money is not a fix-it-all solution, when why cannot others also know this? Is being self-centered the starting point to cruelty, where I don’t care how you are, as long as I am okay? That makes sense to me, where I disregard you, as you are not important to me because I cannot get anything out of you that will be advantageous to me. Maybe that is why we have always been alone – because we want to be alone. Having others in our space means sharing and caring. So we take, and we are detached from those we take, because we are alone, so there is no regret or remorse, as there are none in our space other than ourselves. Our aloneness means we are everything, as there is no other besides ourselves. So we become gods, where what is out there is for me. From whom we take there is no attachment to. So why be cruel? – It was to make sure there was always enough to fulfill our alone status. We take, and there are no consequences or actions for our taking, because there is only me and no one to answer to but me. So to you the Beast – you want to be alone? Well now you are. Enjoy.
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