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steven geldenhuys

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  1. “I think; therefore I am.” Descartes found that he could not doubt that he himself existed, as he was the one doing the doubting in the first place. So what we are is what we think, or what we think is what we are. This is true of Hell and the chaos and misery that plays out here, but in the stillness of Love there is everything and thus no need to follow the chatter of those entities within you that are doing the talking, analyzing and reasoning. My space is sacred, as it is mine and not yours. And of course this holds true for all of us. The disaster is that like attracts like. You live to survive, rather than live to be, you attract survivors that will do with you as they please to keep their world and themselves intact. No doubt the first survivor within was the parasitic frequency of Deception. This entity/state was the first voice in our head, and the message was clear: “Take!” Soon all wanted to take, and we infiltrated each other’s space to see what we could get, or take, out of the deal. If there was no deal to be made we took anyway. Is the first survivor still within us? Does the parasite that we created through our curiosity that manifested into a form within the illusionary Garden still exist within our forms? With this question I enter the stillness, and what I feel is the moving, palpable flow of this entity throughout our whole forms. It feels like a unity of bands/waves moving up our body. One could say that this frequency band is the foundation on which survivors build their nest when they come to play within us for their own cruel, selfish needs. To take this platform away by knowing it exists and you wishing it no more within your existence – this is already done now in the moment, but it is what happens after this that matters, as it is through ignorance that the scaffolding will return as fast as it disappeared. What you and I need is courage – that no matter what, we are always looked after and will only receive what we see as the best for us. You turn to the stillness of the strand of the Creator within, and then you just let go. Wow, for Steven this is a challenge, as I wanted things to be done yesterday already. I am most impatient. The proof of the pudding in letting go is that you receive through synchronicity aspects and events that will make you at one with the Creator. Joy and laughter are the other sides of the spectrum of sorrow and despair – you are still within the Game. One looks to a state of oneness with all to be what you are. From here, we elicit moments of wonder and splendor, which is seen through our eyes as joy. What we are trying to say, is just let go and be. Stop thinking. Think, and the platform of the parasite is built within the moment. Try to stop thinking, and you think of ways to not do this. Let go and just be. This is the foundation needed for the strand to shine, otherwise you and other entities just get in the way. I am, therefore I am.
  2. I went to bed last night and told my wife that if I was a betting man, I would bet that I was going to see beings of Love in my sleep state. One could say that nobody won or lost the bet. Normally when my eyes close to sleep I start to see the unseen around me. Last night was different. I saw nothing, and then, a few hours later, I felt this funny sensation within my body – as if something was popping alive, especially at my legs area. The movements within got stronger. Then the dogs barked outside, and I told myself I must get up to see if they are okay. I woke up, sat on the side of the bed, and then stood up to walk towards the door. From there I began to feel dizzy, and then I understood that my physical body was still lying in bed, and it was me the astral form that got up to walk to the door. We have always known that the astral and body form should be like two peas in a pod – they should be inseparable. This has never been the case – there has never been full communication between the two. On the contrary, the astral and the body are two separate entities, going about their business apart from the other. Why this is so is because of the entities between the astral form and the body form. The astral came back to the body as the dogs stopped barking, and I fell asleep. Then I saw this fucker with his scissors cutting something within my wife’s head. He saw that I saw him, and then he tapped with his scissors onto me, which was a sarcastic way of saying hello. He cut, and then he inserted something into the space where he cut. What he done to my wife he done to me. What I gathered from last night’s experience is that the pieces on the chess board are moving. Momentum has been made and things are starting to move. The astral form know it has a best friend, namely the body form. I doubt the astral is aware of the writings of this journal and the big picture, and I say this because when it got up to check on the dogs there was a form of aggression, as in if there is fire outside it will be met with fire. This is not Steven. I do not think of violence as I know if you live by the sword you die by the sword. You think violence and violence you will get. What comes to me in the night comes to all within Hell – just in different shapes and forms. What they do to me they do to you. What this Beast with his scissors was doing, was cutting/separating the waveforms of my wife’s and my space. From there, he inserted an entity to play with us. I felt the restriction of the give-receive over the left jugular vein as the inserted entity began its play. Throughout the journal I have done my best to clarify what it means to be in the silence – the stillness of the heart. What the stillness is, is you being quiet so that you can listen to your astral form, and equally important, the stillness is the astral form being quiet to listen to the strand within. The way forwards is for these three states to be as one. What has also being hammered throughout this journal is the importance of breathing with understanding. You breathe in the Love that is, and this places you in the silence/stillness, as this Love you breathe in is within you and nothing else – except the silence. This morning just before I got up, I breathed in this Love within me and all those I Love and all those who Love me. This was done to remove what was implanted within my wife and I during the night. It is so funny – as you breathe in this Love, a thought always pops into the mind to distract you. This thought is from the entities within – they are distracting you so that they may remain within. What fun and games we play here within Hell!! There is a shift in awareness and understanding as the separation from Hell begins. Do what you have to do throughout the day, but be quiet within. Give the body and astral and the strand a chance to get to know each other. A thought is from an entity within or without. Trust me when I say that this is the truth. The silence of Love is merely what it is – it has nothing to say as it merely is. Why do these entities from the shadows, as well as from the seen, possess and attack? For me, it comes back to the ego. They have the upper hand over innocence, which is an expression of the Love within, and this make them feel superior/important. The games these babies play. When they have nobody to play with besides their own, that is when the playground starts to get ugly. Their fun is turned in an instant into a nightmare. Where did you thing this was all going to you stupid, stupid things? This playground of Steven and the innocent is now closed. Go play with your own.
  3. I went to bed last night and told my wife that if I was a betting man, I would bet that I was going to see beings of Love in my sleep state. One could say that nobody won or lost the bet. Normally when my eyes close to sleep I start to see the unseen around me. Last night was different. I saw nothing, and then, a few hours later, I felt this funny sensation within my body – as if something was popping alive, especially at my legs area. The movements within got stronger. Then the dogs barked outside, and I told myself I must get up to see if they are okay. I woke up, sat on the side of the bed, and then stood up to walk towards the door. From there I began to feel dizzy, and then I understood that my physical body was still lying in bed, and it was me the astral form that got up to walk to the door. We have always known that the astral and body form should be like two peas in a pod – they should be inseparable. This has never been the case – there has never been full communication between the two. On the contrary, the astral and the body are two separate entities, going about their business apart from the other. Why this is so is because of the entities between the astral form and the body form. The astral came back to the body as the dogs stopped barking, and I fell asleep. Then I saw this fucker with his scissors cutting something within my wife’s head. He saw that I saw him, and then he tapped with his scissors onto me, which was a sarcastic way of saying hello. He cut, and then he inserted something into the space where he cut. What he done to my wife he done to me. What I gathered from last night’s experience is that the pieces on the chess board are moving. Momentum has been made and things are starting to move. The astral form know it has a best friend, namely the body form. I doubt the astral is aware of the writings of this journal and the big picture, and I say this because when it got up to check on the dogs there was a form of aggression, as in if there is fire outside it will be met with fire. This is not Steven. I do not think of violence as I know if you live by the sword you die by the sword. You think violence and violence you will get. What comes to me in the night comes to all within Hell – just in different shapes and forms. What they do to me they do to you. What this Beast with his scissors was doing, was cutting/separating the waveforms of my wife’s and my space. From there, he inserted an entity to play with us. I felt the restriction of the give-receive over the left jugular vein as the inserted entity began its play. Throughout the journal I have done my best to clarify what it means to be in the silence – the stillness of the heart. What the stillness is, is you being quiet so that you can listen to your astral form, and equally important, the stillness is the astral form being quiet to listen to the strand within. The way forwards is for these three states to be as one. What has also being hammered throughout this journal is the importance of breathing with understanding. You breathe in the Love that is, and this places you in the silence/stillness, as this Love you breathe in is within you and nothing else – except the silence. This morning just before I got up, I breathed in this Love within me and all those I Love and all those who Love me. This was done to remove what was implanted within my wife and I during the night. It is so funny – as you breathe in this Love, a thought always pops into the mind to distract you. This thought is from the entities within – they are distracting you so that they may remain within. What fun and games we play here within Hell!! There is a shift in awareness and understanding as the separation from Hell begins. Do what you have to do throughout the day, but be quiet within. Give the body and astral and the strand a chance to get to know each other. A thought is from an entity within or without. Trust me when I say that this is the truth. The silence of Love is merely what it is – it has nothing to say as it merely is. Why do these entities from the shadows, as well as from the seen, possess and attack? For me, it comes back to the ego. They have the upper hand over innocence, which is an expression of the Love within, and this make them feel superior/important. The games these babies play. When they have nobody to play with besides their own, that is when the playground starts to get ugly. Their fun is turned in an instant into a nightmare. Where did you thing this was all going to you stupid, stupid things? This playground of Steven and the innocent is now closed. Go play with your own.
  4. (The strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness could not shine without a platform to stand on. We were going nowhere until we all had the equal opportunity/footing to go Home. The unseen touches the seen. We have given those in the unseen the opportunity to go Home through the understanding of what the animals taught us – what happened before the beginning of time; what happened that we got ourselves in this mess. Now we begin to walk – to Home, or deeper within Hell. The one will not touch the other, as they are two separate paths. The days of living side by side with cruelty are over.)
  5. (The strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness could not shine without a platform to stand on. We were going nowhere until we all had the equal opportunity/footing to go Home. The unseen touches the seen. We have given those in the unseen the opportunity to go Home through the understanding of what the animals taught us – what happened before the beginning of time; what happened that we got ourselves in this mess. Now we begin to walk – to Home, or deeper within Hell. The one will not touch the other, as they are two separate paths. The days of living side by side with cruelty are over.)
  6. Last night was high tea at The Ritz, with Steven on every platter. From the moment I closed my eyes to sleep until I woke up this morning, I was pressed with implanted dreams, and I fleetingly saw those who were feeding from my energy. “Fleetingly,” as I did not care to look – I had enough of seeing cruel Beasts. This journal is from the perspective of Infinite Love – this is the natural state I choose to once again be within. Everything in this journal has come from the perspective of Love – from the greatest form of Love we will experience within our existence, and that is the Love from the animals. I have been married for many years, and I have two children whom I love dearly, but their love can be most cruel – just because they can. The unconditional Love from the animals is not a way out of Hell, but it sure as hell keeps us alive and sane. Now I am going to see this big picture of Hell from the perspective of cruel Beasts. I am not talking about the fools in the seen and unseen that embrace their insanity and that of Life and see themselves as the next best thing to sliced bread. It is to the system of Hell that I now turn, where I would like to understand what justifies the System to see sorrow, heartache, pain and despair as the norm. What keeps a System intact where they consider it right and just to go against the natural flow of what is until they can go no further and fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten? You are intentionally destroying all life and unintentionally destroying yourself – and then some – and yet you consider this the norm. This is more than a case of insanity, and I would like to find out what it is. Maybe we cannot leave Hell until we understand what Hell is. I go now into the core construct of Hell. What I feel is a “man” with a wooden right leg, as in there is no right leg. In healing, the left side of the body represents the physical/seen, and the right side the astral/unseen. Within the unseen there is no foundation – there is no core construct – hence the absence of the right leg that I feel. We know why this is so, as the natural state of Infinite Love is not there. So what happens to these fuckers in Hell when I exit Hell and play within the fields? The answer is that Sophia’s and Semiramis’ children will carry on falling. It comes back to same story – how can I be happy when they are unhappy? Oh yes, these misfits enjoy this despicable place. They have embraced Hell and made it their own, but I assure you that within all these Beasts is a part of them that they push aside for as long as they can, until they have to face their unanswered question of “when am I going to look at the real me; the Love within, and see what I am?” In seeing their true selves, they see what they have become and done, and when that day arrives, it is best not to look at those who have to be accountable to themselves for what they have done. I am talking about those beasts that intentionally shame and destroy – they are aware of their actions and the consequences of their actions on their victims. We have all fucked up at some stage of our lives, and this is Life that got the better of us, and for this we apologize. But we always tried our best. Our best was often not good enough, but at least we tried. Our intention was never to inflict shame, sorrow, pain and annihilation. So before I leave Hell, and this departure is through me being what I am – by me reclaiming my birthright of me being the Love that is, I would like to bestow upon Hell a core construct, so that should these Beasts wish to help themselves, they can. If it takes another fifty billion years for me to reach Home, then that’s okay, as eventually I will be there. But for now, let’s see what we can do for the construct of Hell. How do we give the man with the wooden right leg his leg back so that one day, should he decide to walk Home, he can do so? Understand why these Beasts are fooling themselves and staying in Hell – they are afraid of seeing the unbearable, which is themselves. They are so long gone from the Love that they are within them that they cannot find a way back. When we cross over to become a Beast that feeds from the innocent, it is like entering a paradise on steroids. You do what you want when you want – with no consequences. There is freedom from the constrained existence we have always known. After a while the party becomes boring and monotonous, and an angst of guilt and remorse is momentarily felt. But what makes this okay is that many are doing what you have done – and then some – so it’s okay. After a while we can no longer fool ourselves, and this is when we fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten. To counter this sudden demise of the Beasts within Hell, these lost and unpleasant souls were given jobs to do in Hell. The assassins, the possessors, the tormentors, the suppressors – these were the jobs of Hell, but by and large, as long as you keep the wheels of Hell spinning and kept the truth of Love suppressed, you had a role to play in Hell. These roles/jobs merely delayed the inevitable, so who was fooling who within Hell? Shame, what a friggin’ existence to have! When the journal began, I was shown one night in my sleep state what Steven could have if he just walked away from this journal. There was a cabinet of delicious pastries – I could eat to my heart’s content the best of the best. In the next cabinet was sports cars. In the next one was airplanes, and in the next cabinet were devices and technology that is unknown to us. Steven and his astral form had a limitless credit card that Hell would cover the bill, but I knew that by walking away from the nightmare that was taking place behind me, where would I go that I could find peace as the worlds of Hell fell apart, with so many of my loved ones within those worlds. Why do these Beasts not see what I see? How can you live at the expense of others without destroying yourself in the process? I once again stress that we are not talking about insanity – this is something deeper that I need to understand. What needs to fill the space of the right leg so that Hell may be lifted so all may have understanding and perspective? The answer is for them to acknowledge that they fucked up, and then make an about turn. Stop fooling yourself. Stop going with the crowd. In seeing the Beast that you have become, you want to make a wrong right, and in that moment, you have forgiven yourself for what you have done and become. We don’t want martyrs, drama queens, cry-babies that can’t stop crying at how bad they were. We want adults that stand up and refuse to carrying on doing what they have done for a long time. We want adults that say: “I fucked up, but what can I do to now help?” That places these Beasts on the path Home, and that acknowledgement of “I was a Beast and refuse to carry on being one,” that fills the missing leg of Hell and gives these entities a platform to return Home. When we passed insanity we entered a space – a void. In this space things were the way that they were. The next level past insanity is acceptance – acceptance of who we are and what we have become. This acceptance arose from nobody being able to find a way out of Hell. We are stuck here, so let’s carry on doing what we have always done, which is destroy. This is the ultimate martyr: you destroy all, and yourself, and this is okay, because this is all I know. Well, it is not okay. Acknowledge and understand that, and you have in effect walked out of Hell and are on your way Home. The right leg of Hell is filled. Now these Beasts have a choice: to carry on playing, or to return Home. In peace, we leave them to play, should they wish to play, but we take the innocent with us. Now these Beasts play with their own kin – the destroyers. How soon will it be before they destroy themselves! I do not have the capacity or foresight to know what happens to them from there – for them to be released from a place they chose to be in. There is always the leg for them to return to – the acknowledgement that they are where they are through their own accord, and just maybe, it is not pleasant forgetting what you are, where you drift in limbo. I, for one, will never judge them. I leave them be, as it is their existence to live and not mine.
  7. Last night was high tea at The Ritz, with Steven on every platter. From the moment I closed my eyes to sleep until I woke up this morning, I was pressed with implanted dreams, and I fleetingly saw those who were feeding from my energy. “Fleetingly,” as I did not care to look – I had enough of seeing cruel Beasts. This journal is from the perspective of Infinite Love – this is the natural state I choose to once again be within. Everything in this journal has come from the perspective of Love – from the greatest form of Love we will experience within our existence, and that is the Love from the animals. I have been married for many years, and I have two children whom I love dearly, but their love can be most cruel – just because they can. The unconditional Love from the animals is not a way out of Hell, but it sure as hell keeps us alive and sane. Now I am going to see this big picture of Hell from the perspective of cruel Beasts. I am not talking about the fools in the seen and unseen that embrace their insanity and that of Life and see themselves as the next best thing to sliced bread. It is to the system of Hell that I now turn, where I would like to understand what justifies the System to see sorrow, heartache, pain and despair as the norm. What keeps a System intact where they consider it right and just to go against the natural flow of what is until they can go no further and fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten? You are intentionally destroying all life and unintentionally destroying yourself – and then some – and yet you consider this the norm. This is more than a case of insanity, and I would like to find out what it is. Maybe we cannot leave Hell until we understand what Hell is. I go now into the core construct of Hell. What I feel is a “man” with a wooden right leg, as in there is no right leg. In healing, the left side of the body represents the physical/seen, and the right side the astral/unseen. Within the unseen there is no foundation – there is no core construct – hence the absence of the right leg that I feel. We know why this is so, as the natural state of Infinite Love is not there. So what happens to these fuckers in Hell when I exit Hell and play within the fields? The answer is that Sophia’s and Semiramis’ children will carry on falling. It comes back to same story – how can I be happy when they are unhappy? Oh yes, these misfits enjoy this despicable place. They have embraced Hell and made it their own, but I assure you that within all these Beasts is a part of them that they push aside for as long as they can, until they have to face their unanswered question of “when am I going to look at the real me; the Love within, and see what I am?” In seeing their true selves, they see what they have become and done, and when that day arrives, it is best not to look at those who have to be accountable to themselves for what they have done. I am talking about those beasts that intentionally shame and destroy – they are aware of their actions and the consequences of their actions on their victims. We have all fucked up at some stage of our lives, and this is Life that got the better of us, and for this we apologize. But we always tried our best. Our best was often not good enough, but at least we tried. Our intention was never to inflict shame, sorrow, pain and annihilation. So before I leave Hell, and this departure is through me being what I am – by me reclaiming my birthright of me being the Love that is, I would like to bestow upon Hell a core construct, so that should these Beasts wish to help themselves, they can. If it takes another fifty billion years for me to reach Home, then that’s okay, as eventually I will be there. But for now, let’s see what we can do for the construct of Hell. How do we give the man with the wooden right leg his leg back so that one day, should he decide to walk Home, he can do so? Understand why these Beasts are fooling themselves and staying in Hell – they are afraid of seeing the unbearable, which is themselves. They are so long gone from the Love that they are within them that they cannot find a way back. When we cross over to become a Beast that feeds from the innocent, it is like entering a paradise on steroids. You do what you want when you want – with no consequences. There is freedom from the constrained existence we have always known. After a while the party becomes boring and monotonous, and an angst of guilt and remorse is momentarily felt. But what makes this okay is that many are doing what you have done – and then some – so it’s okay. After a while we can no longer fool ourselves, and this is when we fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten. To counter this sudden demise of the Beasts within Hell, these lost and unpleasant souls were given jobs to do in Hell. The assassins, the possessors, the tormentors, the suppressors – these were the jobs of Hell, but by and large, as long as you keep the wheels of Hell spinning and kept the truth of Love suppressed, you had a role to play in Hell. These roles/jobs merely delayed the inevitable, so who was fooling who within Hell? Shame, what a friggin’ existence to have! When the journal began, I was shown one night in my sleep state what Steven could have if he just walked away from this journal. There was a cabinet of delicious pastries – I could eat to my heart’s content the best of the best. In the next cabinet was sports cars. In the next one was airplanes, and in the next cabinet were devices and technology that is unknown to us. Steven and his astral form had a limitless credit card that Hell would cover the bill, but I knew that by walking away from the nightmare that was taking place behind me, where would I go that I could find peace as the worlds of Hell fell apart, with so many of my loved ones within those worlds. Why do these Beasts not see what I see? How can you live at the expense of others without destroying yourself in the process? I once again stress that we are not talking about insanity – this is something deeper that I need to understand. What needs to fill the space of the right leg so that Hell may be lifted so all may have understanding and perspective? The answer is for them to acknowledge that they fucked up, and then make an about turn. Stop fooling yourself. Stop going with the crowd. In seeing the Beast that you have become, you want to make a wrong right, and in that moment, you have forgiven yourself for what you have done and become. We don’t want martyrs, drama queens, cry-babies that can’t stop crying at how bad they were. We want adults that stand up and refuse to carrying on doing what they have done for a long time. We want adults that say: “I fucked up, but what can I do to now help?” That places these Beasts on the path Home, and that acknowledgement of “I was a Beast and refuse to carry on being one,” that fills the missing leg of Hell and gives these entities a platform to return Home. When we passed insanity we entered a space – a void. In this space things were the way that they were. The next level past insanity is acceptance – acceptance of who we are and what we have become. This acceptance arose from nobody being able to find a way out of Hell. We are stuck here, so let’s carry on doing what we have always done, which is destroy. This is the ultimate martyr: you destroy all, and yourself, and this is okay, because this is all I know. Well, it is not okay. Acknowledge and understand that, and you have in effect walked out of Hell and are on your way Home. The right leg of Hell is filled. Now these Beasts have a choice: to carry on playing, or to return Home. In peace, we leave them to play, should they wish to play, but we take the innocent with us. Now these Beasts play with their own kin – the destroyers. How soon will it be before they destroy themselves! I do not have the capacity or foresight to know what happens to them from there – for them to be released from a place they chose to be in. There is always the leg for them to return to – the acknowledgement that they are where they are through their own accord, and just maybe, it is not pleasant forgetting what you are, where you drift in limbo. I, for one, will never judge them. I leave them be, as it is their existence to live and not mine.
  8. When one produces a biological computer it is vital that it must be self-sufficient, in other words, it has to be able to look after itself. The manufacturers do not have the resources or energy to stand by each model and make sure they are functioning properly. And of course, the model has to be self-limiting – it has to stay within the loop of “this world/existence is all there is, and there is only so much I can do.” This self-limitation was one of the most important components of the biological computers that were produced and manufactured the worlds over within Hell. We were made to be primitive, to take a life in order to survive, or to have your life taken for going against the System. I remember writing in the journal of a control panel of sorts embedded within the biological computers left forearm, which was the self-limiting device between the software (the body) and the hard-drive (the brain.) This morning I checked on this dog to see how it was doing. When I go into their energy space it is like two mirrors talking to each other – I feel/see them, and the layers of moving energy that they are, and they see my energy. This is part of the Give-Receive cycle, where we cannot see ourselves, but others can. So when we go into the space of others with Love to assist – by Giving – they go into our space and transform upon us what we cannot see – and we are thankful for this Receiving, so we transform in their, and our image, which is Love. When I went into this dogs energy field to make sure the poison from the frog it bit was no more, what I felt was this dog clearing the control panel from my left forearm. I felt this panel drift away and become no longer a part of my existence. So why now? Why was this panel not removed when I knew about it months ago? Yesterday I understood that we in Hell naturally self-limit ourselves. We hold back; we never embrace Life and live Life to its fullest. Why this is so is because we understand that we do not know and understand everything. Go all-out into a Game you don’t understand and you will make a fool of yourself. We don’t know ourselves, so how can we cross that line and step into the seen and unseen of Life? Yesterday I understood that I have been holding myself back because I knew that I was not ready to engage with Life – I did not know enough; there was more I still had to learn, and thus the time was not right to participate in Life. Yesterday I understood that I will never know everything, but I do know enough to be happy, so I will engage in Life. What I don’t know I will learn along the way. One can’t really make a fool of yourself or disappoint yourself when you are being happy, as the joy of Life overrides this constant self-analytical state of “how am I and what am I doing.” When I let go of the self-imposed barriers around me yesterday, I opened myself up to have the manufactured limiting panel within the left forearm removed. We are made up of different layers of energy. Go past the skin and you get muscle and blood and bone, but look at yourself from a different frequency perspective, and what you see is different layers/waveforms of energy. The physical is the biological computers active participation in the illusionary Game, but our true form is waveforms of energy. Within this wave/frequency existed the Serpent soul and all the other cohorts that played with us, including the manufacturers self-limiting control panel. Stop holding yourself back. Cross the line to play; to Give and Receive. Stop limiting yourself. By knowing of the control panel over the left forearm area on the energy level, it will be no more within your existence should you wish this so.
  9. When one produces a biological computer it is vital that it must be self-sufficient, in other words, it has to be able to look after itself. The manufacturers do not have the resources or energy to stand by each model and make sure they are functioning properly. And of course, the model has to be self-limiting – it has to stay within the loop of “this world/existence is all there is, and there is only so much I can do.” This self-limitation was one of the most important components of the biological computers that were produced and manufactured the worlds over within Hell. We were made to be primitive, to take a life in order to survive, or to have your life taken for going against the System. I remember writing in the journal of a control panel of sorts embedded within the biological computers left forearm, which was the self-limiting device between the software (the body) and the hard-drive (the brain.) This morning I checked on this dog to see how it was doing. When I go into their energy space it is like two mirrors talking to each other – I feel/see them, and the layers of moving energy that they are, and they see my energy. This is part of the Give-Receive cycle, where we cannot see ourselves, but others can. So when we go into the space of others with Love to assist – by Giving – they go into our space and transform upon us what we cannot see – and we are thankful for this Receiving, so we transform in their, and our image, which is Love. When I went into this dogs energy field to make sure the poison from the frog it bit was no more, what I felt was this dog clearing the control panel from my left forearm. I felt this panel drift away and become no longer a part of my existence. So why now? Why was this panel not removed when I knew about it months ago? Yesterday I understood that we in Hell naturally self-limit ourselves. We hold back; we never embrace Life and live Life to its fullest. Why this is so is because we understand that we do not know and understand everything. Go all-out into a Game you don’t understand and you will make a fool of yourself. We don’t know ourselves, so how can we cross that line and step into the seen and unseen of Life? Yesterday I understood that I have been holding myself back because I knew that I was not ready to engage with Life – I did not know enough; there was more I still had to learn, and thus the time was not right to participate in Life. Yesterday I understood that I will never know everything, but I do know enough to be happy, so I will engage in Life. What I don’t know I will learn along the way. One can’t really make a fool of yourself or disappoint yourself when you are being happy, as the joy of Life overrides this constant self-analytical state of “how am I and what am I doing.” When I let go of the self-imposed barriers around me yesterday, I opened myself up to have the manufactured limiting panel within the left forearm removed. We are made up of different layers of energy. Go past the skin and you get muscle and blood and bone, but look at yourself from a different frequency perspective, and what you see is different layers/waveforms of energy. The physical is the biological computers active participation in the illusionary Game, but our true form is waveforms of energy. Within this wave/frequency existed the Serpent soul and all the other cohorts that played with us, including the manufacturers self-limiting control panel. Stop holding yourself back. Cross the line to play; to Give and Receive. Stop limiting yourself. By knowing of the control panel over the left forearm area on the energy level, it will be no more within your existence should you wish this so.
  10. For the last ten years or so, when I stand next to a patient and understand where their disharmony is, in that moment their disharmony is healed. I just stand there – I do nothing. It is something bigger than us that heals, and this something is what I call Love. This Love is what takes our breath away when we see a beautiful sunset, or leaves us speechless when we hold our newborn child in our arms. This Love is the Ying of Hell – it balances the Yang; the Chaos. But there is one that is all powerful that superimposes this Love, and what this is, is the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness within us. This strand is Life itself as it arose from the Creator. At the beginning of the journal I contacted Pierre Sabak to tell him I could see the unseen. It was Pierre who kept the arrow going in the direction and giving it the lift when it was needed. I told Pierre about five or six years ago that we were branded, and this he confirmed in the book he was writing at the time. This is what Pierre Sabak says of branding in his upcoming book Holographic Culture (to be published in the spring of 2016): Brandishing angels quotation from my upcoming book Holographic Culture. ‘In light of the fact that Michael is deemed to be a ‘Prince of the Host’, the wordplay ‘Mikiel’ (who is like God?) is it would seem a slight of hand and is a covert acknowledgement of the angelic lineage. There are however further possible interpretations. The cognomen ‘Michael’ is perhaps better transliterated as ‘mi-kiy-El’ (loosely a flaming God), a title that infers a strong affiliation between an ‘angel’ and a ‘deity’ otherwise an ‘Elohim’ and their cohorts the ‘seraphim’. The novel idea that ‘Michael’ is actually an ‘Elohim’ is a straight forward argument when carefully scrutinised and is furthermore an aspect found encoded in his name, listed below: Registered the interrogative pronoun ‘mi’ (who, whom, from, out of) is incorporated with the verb ‘kiya’ (to brand, scar or burn), from the prime root ‘kviya’ (to burn). The conjunct ‘mikya’ (from or whom burns) is affixed with the name ‘El’ the abbreviation of ‘Elohim’ generically (a God). Significantly the incorporation of the title ‘El’ (God) assumes in a literal sense that the ‘angel’ is a ‘God’ or a ‘deity’ and is substantiated in the Aramaic. Relative the epithet ‘Elohim’ (the lofty or shining ones) is a designation honorific of the (Gods) and is a word interchangeable in the original dialect with (an angel). For example ‘El’ (a God) is used typically to signify angelic names, for example Raphael, Samael, Uriel, Gabriel etc… Careful deliberation therefore suggests that the appellation ‘Mi-kiy-El’ can be interpreted as (whom or from the God that burns) in a figurative sense a ‘manifestation’. The phrase additionally infers consternation as demonstrated in the emphatic translation (who is this God that stigmatises Greek ‘stigma’ to brand with a pointed instrument). As with the ‘seraphim’ e.g. ‘srefa’ (fire) the connotation is of a ‘flaming angel’ a ‘seraph’ an entity that marks his adversaries. ‘Michael’s epithet in the original nuance is therefore presumed to be a ‘conqueror’ and is considered to be an ‘Elohim’ or ‘God’ in his own right. Consistent with the Semitic tendency towards paronomasia the angel ‘Michael’ brandishes ‘makel’ (a staff, rod or stake). The analogy of the ‘inflamed brand’ draws inference to the angelic ‘kerubim’ Hebrew ‘kherev’ (a sword). An armed soldier, representational of the host the kerubim angel is depicted in biblical symbolism, Genesis Chapter 3 Verse 24 as carrying a ‘flaming sword’, and impresses a fiery weapon that induces burns. (The concept of the lighted brand is also implied in Sura 8 ‘Al-Anfal’ Battle Gains Verse 12, refer to introductory quote) in which the victims of Badr display strange brandishing marks: ‘Your Lord revealed to the angels: “I am with you: give the believers firmness; I shall put terror into the hearts of the disbelievers. Strike above their necks and strike their fingertips.” That was because they opposed God and His Messenger, and if anyone opposes God and his Messenger, God punishes them severely” That is what you get! Taste that!” – and the torment of the Fire awaits the disbelievers… It was not you who killed them but God: God is all seeing and all knowing’. M.A.S Abdel Haleem, Qur’an, Oxford University Press, Sura 8 ‘Al-Anfal’ Battle Gains) Verse 12 In Sura 8 Mohammed cites Allah’s ultimate superiority, in which God is not above killing and using his army to rout or dispose of his adversaries. The Islamic annalist Al Bukhari archives the presence of the angelic host and their destruction at Badr. Dramatic, the account of Bukhari is gleaned from his witness Ar-Rabi bin Anas, who notes the following points: ‘On the day of Badr people could see those who had been slain by the Angels among the dead by the blows above their necks and on their fingertips which looked as fire had burnt them’. Badar Azimabadi, The World of Angels, p70 Pierre Sabak, Holographic Culture, Serpentigena Publications 2016. It goes without saying that this strand within us was “shut down,” otherwise cruel Beasts would not be allowed to come out and play at the expense of the innocent. This branding shut down the strand of God within all Life. The strand epitomes and is Oneness, where everything just is. We would understand this as balance and harmony. Oneness is when the natural flow of Give and Receive is flowing as it should, what we would equate to breathing – it is there; a natural phenomenon. The branding shut down this Give-Receive cycle, and this locked us into Hell with nowhere to go but down. By knowing of the branding of the forms years ago, it was removed, but this meant nothing as we never understood the true intent of the branding. I never knew that our Give-Receive cycle was blocked at the right side of the lower neck – thanks to our branding. By knowing where the disharmony is, it is healed by understanding that there is something bigger than us, namely Love. A wrong is now made right. The branding of our forms and the blocking of our Give-Receive cycle is now healed. Now the strand may be healed and restored to what it is. Now the Dragon has its fire and the Serpent has its power – its God/Creator power. What we have is balance and unity, and Oneness with the all. May this state manifest on our physical forms sooner than later.
  11. For the last ten years or so, when I stand next to a patient and understand where their disharmony is, in that moment their disharmony is healed. I just stand there – I do nothing. It is something bigger than us that heals, and this something is what I call Love. This Love is what takes our breath away when we see a beautiful sunset, or leaves us speechless when we hold our newborn child in our arms. This Love is the Ying of Hell – it balances the Yang; the Chaos. But there is one that is all powerful that superimposes this Love, and what this is, is the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness within us. This strand is Life itself as it arose from the Creator. At the beginning of the journal I contacted Pierre Sabak to tell him I could see the unseen. It was Pierre who kept the arrow going in the direction and giving it the lift when it was needed. I told Pierre about five or six years ago that we were branded, and this he confirmed in the book he was writing at the time. This is what Pierre Sabak says of branding in his upcoming book Holographic Culture (to be published in the spring of 2016): Brandishing angels quotation from my upcoming book Holographic Culture. ‘In light of the fact that Michael is deemed to be a ‘Prince of the Host’, the wordplay ‘Mikiel’ (who is like God?) is it would seem a slight of hand and is a covert acknowledgement of the angelic lineage. There are however further possible interpretations. The cognomen ‘Michael’ is perhaps better transliterated as ‘mi-kiy-El’ (loosely a flaming God), a title that infers a strong affiliation between an ‘angel’ and a ‘deity’ otherwise an ‘Elohim’ and their cohorts the ‘seraphim’. The novel idea that ‘Michael’ is actually an ‘Elohim’ is a straight forward argument when carefully scrutinised and is furthermore an aspect found encoded in his name, listed below: Registered the interrogative pronoun ‘mi’ (who, whom, from, out of) is incorporated with the verb ‘kiya’ (to brand, scar or burn), from the prime root ‘kviya’ (to burn). The conjunct ‘mikya’ (from or whom burns) is affixed with the name ‘El’ the abbreviation of ‘Elohim’ generically (a God). Significantly the incorporation of the title ‘El’ (God) assumes in a literal sense that the ‘angel’ is a ‘God’ or a ‘deity’ and is substantiated in the Aramaic. Relative the epithet ‘Elohim’ (the lofty or shining ones) is a designation honorific of the (Gods) and is a word interchangeable in the original dialect with (an angel). For example ‘El’ (a God) is used typically to signify angelic names, for example Raphael, Samael, Uriel, Gabriel etc… Careful deliberation therefore suggests that the appellation ‘Mi-kiy-El’ can be interpreted as (whom or from the God that burns) in a figurative sense a ‘manifestation’. The phrase additionally infers consternation as demonstrated in the emphatic translation (who is this God that stigmatises Greek ‘stigma’ to brand with a pointed instrument). As with the ‘seraphim’ e.g. ‘srefa’ (fire) the connotation is of a ‘flaming angel’ a ‘seraph’ an entity that marks his adversaries. ‘Michael’s epithet in the original nuance is therefore presumed to be a ‘conqueror’ and is considered to be an ‘Elohim’ or ‘God’ in his own right. Consistent with the Semitic tendency towards paronomasia the angel ‘Michael’ brandishes ‘makel’ (a staff, rod or stake). The analogy of the ‘inflamed brand’ draws inference to the angelic ‘kerubim’ Hebrew ‘kherev’ (a sword). An armed soldier, representational of the host the kerubim angel is depicted in biblical symbolism, Genesis Chapter 3 Verse 24 as carrying a ‘flaming sword’, and impresses a fiery weapon that induces burns. (The concept of the lighted brand is also implied in Sura 8 ‘Al-Anfal’ Battle Gains Verse 12, refer to introductory quote) in which the victims of Badr display strange brandishing marks: ‘Your Lord revealed to the angels: “I am with you: give the believers firmness; I shall put terror into the hearts of the disbelievers. Strike above their necks and strike their fingertips.” That was because they opposed God and His Messenger, and if anyone opposes God and his Messenger, God punishes them severely” That is what you get! Taste that!” – and the torment of the Fire awaits the disbelievers… It was not you who killed them but God: God is all seeing and all knowing’. M.A.S Abdel Haleem, Qur’an, Oxford University Press, Sura 8 ‘Al-Anfal’ Battle Gains) Verse 12 In Sura 8 Mohammed cites Allah’s ultimate superiority, in which God is not above killing and using his army to rout or dispose of his adversaries. The Islamic annalist Al Bukhari archives the presence of the angelic host and their destruction at Badr. Dramatic, the account of Bukhari is gleaned from his witness Ar-Rabi bin Anas, who notes the following points: ‘On the day of Badr people could see those who had been slain by the Angels among the dead by the blows above their necks and on their fingertips which looked as fire had burnt them’. Badar Azimabadi, The World of Angels, p70 Pierre Sabak, Holographic Culture, Serpentigena Publications 2016. It goes without saying that this strand within us was “shut down,” otherwise cruel Beasts would not be allowed to come out and play at the expense of the innocent. This branding shut down the strand of God within all Life. The strand epitomes and is Oneness, where everything just is. We would understand this as balance and harmony. Oneness is when the natural flow of Give and Receive is flowing as it should, what we would equate to breathing – it is there; a natural phenomenon. The branding shut down this Give-Receive cycle, and this locked us into Hell with nowhere to go but down. By knowing of the branding of the forms years ago, it was removed, but this meant nothing as we never understood the true intent of the branding. I never knew that our Give-Receive cycle was blocked at the right side of the lower neck – thanks to our branding. By knowing where the disharmony is, it is healed by understanding that there is something bigger than us, namely Love. A wrong is now made right. The branding of our forms and the blocking of our Give-Receive cycle is now healed. Now the strand may be healed and restored to what it is. Now the Dragon has its fire and the Serpent has its power – its God/Creator power. What we have is balance and unity, and Oneness with the all. May this state manifest on our physical forms sooner than later.
  12. It is just before three in the morning. We are a biological computer. Within us is the strand of Inherent Goodness – the essence of the Creator around which all Life is formed. We are trapped in a dense frequency that I would call Hell, and we have all been going nowhere slowly, except for our role of feeding cruel Beasts from the shadows of Hell. Stand back and understand what was just written. You will see that it does not make sense. How can the strand of the Creator be suppressed by powerless, illusionary, primitive monsters? I know what I am, and I know what I am not. I am the strand, I am not a manufactured biological computer. I am Love, I am not an illusion. “So what is the problem Steven!? Why are you still within Hell? Why are you not one with the fields of Infinite Love?” Now that is a simple question that should warrant a simple answer. It is the strand of the Creator against illusionary Beasts, and yet these raw, primitive Beasts have the upper hand over what many would call God. How is this possible? The answer is in a sound that I can recall emitting a handful of times. I would be lying in my sleep state, and a sound would come from me - a guttural sound that pierced the silence around me for about a second. What we don’t understand we push aside, so I pushed aside this sound. What I am saying is that there is something within us that has been forgotten. My first thought was that we are possessed by an entity, but this is not the case. The marines would be proud of us the biological computer, as there is something within us that we are carrying, and we will not return Home to the fields of the Infinite without it. On the battlefield you carry your dying with you – you do not abandon them. And so too is there something within us the strand of the Creator that we are carrying and won’t leave behind. What this is we will get to, but first understand that to help anything one needs to be made aware that it exists. We need to remember the forgotten before we can all pack our bags and go Home. In remembering the forgotten they remember themselves, and in that moment they are Home. In the illusionary Garden of Semiramis things were beginning to go pear shaped. We know why – the parasitic frequency of Deception that began to separate and isolate the children as they, and it, the parasite, wanted more. As a solution, the Dragon and Serpent spirit were encouraged to clone themselves, and the soul was born. From one arose two. Now we had the Dragon spirit with its Dragon soul, and the same applies to the Serpent. Now one could share, with yourself the spirit, with another form of you, your soul. Obviously this never worked as the cause was never addressed, namely the unknown parasite within. Yes, there were those who knew of this “evil/unknown” within, but none would listen as a form of madness took the children over. They became denser and denser, and soon fell into a slumber – these Giants. Now the spirits were in slumber, but their doubles, the souls, were not. Why is this so? Maybe the souls had perspective; maybe they could see what was happening to the spirits and refused to be influenced by the parasite within to such an extent where the spirits clocked out as they could not understand what was within them and what they had become. The point to make is that the spirits fell into slumber, and are still in this state, and the souls got on with life. As the Dragon and Serpent souls continued to fall into a denser and denser state, there was a battle between the two, and the Serpent soul won. This Serpent soul has been the pivot point of this journal. I have seen this Serpent soul rise from a man during an ayahuasca ceremony. I have seen my wife’s one, and almost on a daily basis I feel mine as it moves around the canal within me within which it resides. We the biological computer have never fought each other – it is the Serpent within that fights with other Serpents. My kin is a biological software programme – that is my brother and sister, but within us are the true children of Life, namely the Serpent souls. Wars and discord are between the different Serpent groups who have forgotten they are all one. We merely carry the ones that go to war. So guess what makes that guttural sound? Guess what the Serpent soul and us the biological computer are carrying? I know where the Serpent soul is within our forms, but I have never truly understood where is the vanquished Dragon soul. Who wants to remember what you destroyed while the real, current danger is staring you in the face, namely fighting your own kind that you want to destroy and get the better of? Sound familiar, this take and destroy? Well this is not you the biological computer – it is the Serpent soul within. You are merely the vehicle and food supply. That is why we are all going nowhere, except in circles. The Serpent soul needs to acknowledge and remember its most foul deed of destroying its brother and sister the Dragon soul. From there, the Serpent needs to reflect – what happened to it and what has it become. Now you forgive yourself. There is no time for self-flagellation. Now you stand up and rise up and you embrace your brother and sister the Dragon soul. When these two fuckers, the Dragon and Serpent souls are once again united with themselves and the strand within them, then they return to their Dragon and Serpent spirits from which they arose. The souls become one with the spirits, and in doing so, awaken the spirits, and these children of the Creator and Semiramis are Home within the fields. Only then do we the biological computer press the “shut down” button within our forms, and then our strand – that which we are – awakens and returns to the Infinite. In the moment; in the now, this unity between the Dragon and Serpent soul has happened. There is no time – there is only the now. In the now what happens is through understanding. Understanding transforms. The Dragon soul is remembered and embraced by the Serpent soul. These souls return to their spirits. The spirits are awakened and return Home. Now there is no fighting within us, as the fighters are within the fields. Now the strand within us the biological computer can come to the fore.
  13. It is just before three in the morning. We are a biological computer. Within us is the strand of Inherent Goodness – the essence of the Creator around which all Life is formed. We are trapped in a dense frequency that I would call Hell, and we have all been going nowhere slowly, except for our role of feeding cruel Beasts from the shadows of Hell. Stand back and understand what was just written. You will see that it does not make sense. How can the strand of the Creator be suppressed by powerless, illusionary, primitive monsters? I know what I am, and I know what I am not. I am the strand, I am not a manufactured biological computer. I am Love, I am not an illusion. “So what is the problem Steven!? Why are you still within Hell? Why are you not one with the fields of Infinite Love?” Now that is a simple question that should warrant a simple answer. It is the strand of the Creator against illusionary Beasts, and yet these raw, primitive Beasts have the upper hand over what many would call God. How is this possible? The answer is in a sound that I can recall emitting a handful of times. I would be lying in my sleep state, and a sound would come from me - a guttural sound that pierced the silence around me for about a second. What we don’t understand we push aside, so I pushed aside this sound. What I am saying is that there is something within us that has been forgotten. My first thought was that we are possessed by an entity, but this is not the case. The marines would be proud of us the biological computer, as there is something within us that we are carrying, and we will not return Home to the fields of the Infinite without it. On the battlefield you carry your dying with you – you do not abandon them. And so too is there something within us the strand of the Creator that we are carrying and won’t leave behind. What this is we will get to, but first understand that to help anything one needs to be made aware that it exists. We need to remember the forgotten before we can all pack our bags and go Home. In remembering the forgotten they remember themselves, and in that moment they are Home. In the illusionary Garden of Semiramis things were beginning to go pear shaped. We know why – the parasitic frequency of Deception that began to separate and isolate the children as they, and it, the parasite, wanted more. As a solution, the Dragon and Serpent spirit were encouraged to clone themselves, and the soul was born. From one arose two. Now we had the Dragon spirit with its Dragon soul, and the same applies to the Serpent. Now one could share, with yourself the spirit, with another form of you, your soul. Obviously this never worked as the cause was never addressed, namely the unknown parasite within. Yes, there were those who knew of this “evil/unknown” within, but none would listen as a form of madness took the children over. They became denser and denser, and soon fell into a slumber – these Giants. Now the spirits were in slumber, but their doubles, the souls, were not. Why is this so? Maybe the souls had perspective; maybe they could see what was happening to the spirits and refused to be influenced by the parasite within to such an extent where the spirits clocked out as they could not understand what was within them and what they had become. The point to make is that the spirits fell into slumber, and are still in this state, and the souls got on with life. As the Dragon and Serpent souls continued to fall into a denser and denser state, there was a battle between the two, and the Serpent soul won. This Serpent soul has been the pivot point of this journal. I have seen this Serpent soul rise from a man during an ayahuasca ceremony. I have seen my wife’s one, and almost on a daily basis I feel mine as it moves around the canal within me within which it resides. We the biological computer have never fought each other – it is the Serpent within that fights with other Serpents. My kin is a biological software programme – that is my brother and sister, but within us are the true children of Life, namely the Serpent souls. Wars and discord are between the different Serpent groups who have forgotten they are all one. We merely carry the ones that go to war. So guess what makes that guttural sound? Guess what the Serpent soul and us the biological computer are carrying? I know where the Serpent soul is within our forms, but I have never truly understood where is the vanquished Dragon soul. Who wants to remember what you destroyed while the real, current danger is staring you in the face, namely fighting your own kind that you want to destroy and get the better of? Sound familiar, this take and destroy? Well this is not you the biological computer – it is the Serpent soul within. You are merely the vehicle and food supply. That is why we are all going nowhere, except in circles. The Serpent soul needs to acknowledge and remember its most foul deed of destroying its brother and sister the Dragon soul. From there, the Serpent needs to reflect – what happened to it and what has it become. Now you forgive yourself. There is no time for self-flagellation. Now you stand up and rise up and you embrace your brother and sister the Dragon soul. When these two fuckers, the Dragon and Serpent souls are once again united with themselves and the strand within them, then they return to their Dragon and Serpent spirits from which they arose. The souls become one with the spirits, and in doing so, awaken the spirits, and these children of the Creator and Semiramis are Home within the fields. Only then do we the biological computer press the “shut down” button within our forms, and then our strand – that which we are – awakens and returns to the Infinite. In the moment; in the now, this unity between the Dragon and Serpent soul has happened. There is no time – there is only the now. In the now what happens is through understanding. Understanding transforms. The Dragon soul is remembered and embraced by the Serpent soul. These souls return to their spirits. The spirits are awakened and return Home. Now there is no fighting within us, as the fighters are within the fields. Now the strand within us the biological computer can come to the fore.
  14. It is just before one in the morning. Dale Carnegie talked about turning a lemon into lemonade – turning a catastrophe into a winning formula. The implanted dream a short while back was of me being in my garden. There were intruders walking around my property – about three of them. I picked up something to defend myself, and also to go and attack them. Anger got the better of me when I saw they were white boys – my own. I asked them how could they do this to me? I awoke from the dream and saw the snake. It had the perfect circular shape of an eel. Behind the snake was its handler – this was the local, white boy. This was a Human from South Africa whose astral form had crossed over to become a Beast, and had no doubt, mastered the art of living from the shadows and feeding off of us. But this boy, I would soon discover, was not here to feed from or destroy Steven, but rather to perform a specific task. The snake hesitated before it entered my form – it did not want to enter, as I saw them and were ready for them by filling myself with Love. White boy shoe-shoed the snake on to enter my forms. Then white boy turned into a snake and shot into my form – I felt him within my left leg. Yesterday as I had the time while I was waiting for someone, I opened myself up to receive. I went into the silence and asked to receive something on a personal level. The energy within and without my forms circulated and moved as the chess pieces were positioned for me to receive, and then I felt a thorn of sorts over my left jugular vein. This was placed there so that I could not receive what I have been asking for for a long time – about three years of intense pushing to receive this item that was important to me. By knowing the restriction was there, it was cleared by allowing the natural flow of Love that I am to release it so that I may be in a position to receive. So when white boy and his snake were within me, their task was to return the restriction, as I felt one of them working intently over my left jugular vein area. So I done the usual – I breathed in the Love that is me to fill those within my forms with Love. As I realized what they were doing, which was blocking my receive cycle, I once again opened myself to the give-receive cycle so that this natural flow may repel their work and them over my left neck area. But it is never just about Steven – it is about everyone. So I expanded this Give-Receive cycle to embrace all within Hell so that this natural flow may fill all. From there I gave Love to all, and this was the part where the lemon turns to lemonade. We are a complex biological computer that I am sure even our manufacturers have forgotten the intricacies of. We were built through trial and error to survive on a shoestring of energy that was bestowed upon us while we carry out our task of feeding the unseen and keeping Hell alive. No doubt modifications have been made over the ages. Ghouls of entities were inserted within our forms to regulate us, and I will most probably spend I don’t know how many years more to uncover what lies beneath our bonnet. When I gave Love to all, I never realized that I was the all through my separation from my kin. In the past I gave Love to all on many occasions, but this Love passed right through many as they were too focused on how right they are. This Love diffused to the wind, but now, with the separation, this Love stayed with me – and all within me – the all I never knew existed. Every part of me the manufactured biological computer, as well as the ghouls that were a part of my forms, were filled with this Love. One by one I felt these entities leave my space, and so did white boy and his snake. Go into the silence – into the stillness of the Love that is, and allow this Love to fill the all that is. This is every part of your existence as well as those within your existence. Your world – you – is now Love, with no interference from ghouls. Let’s see what comes in the next night.
  15. It is just before one in the morning. Dale Carnegie talked about turning a lemon into lemonade – turning a catastrophe into a winning formula. The implanted dream a short while back was of me being in my garden. There were intruders walking around my property – about three of them. I picked up something to defend myself, and also to go and attack them. Anger got the better of me when I saw they were white boys – my own. I asked them how could they do this to me? I awoke from the dream and saw the snake. It had the perfect circular shape of an eel. Behind the snake was its handler – this was the local, white boy. This was a Human from South Africa whose astral form had crossed over to become a Beast, and had no doubt, mastered the art of living from the shadows and feeding off of us. But this boy, I would soon discover, was not here to feed from or destroy Steven, but rather to perform a specific task. The snake hesitated before it entered my form – it did not want to enter, as I saw them and were ready for them by filling myself with Love. White boy shoe-shoed the snake on to enter my forms. Then white boy turned into a snake and shot into my form – I felt him within my left leg. Yesterday as I had the time while I was waiting for someone, I opened myself up to receive. I went into the silence and asked to receive something on a personal level. The energy within and without my forms circulated and moved as the chess pieces were positioned for me to receive, and then I felt a thorn of sorts over my left jugular vein. This was placed there so that I could not receive what I have been asking for for a long time – about three years of intense pushing to receive this item that was important to me. By knowing the restriction was there, it was cleared by allowing the natural flow of Love that I am to release it so that I may be in a position to receive. So when white boy and his snake were within me, their task was to return the restriction, as I felt one of them working intently over my left jugular vein area. So I done the usual – I breathed in the Love that is me to fill those within my forms with Love. As I realized what they were doing, which was blocking my receive cycle, I once again opened myself to the give-receive cycle so that this natural flow may repel their work and them over my left neck area. But it is never just about Steven – it is about everyone. So I expanded this Give-Receive cycle to embrace all within Hell so that this natural flow may fill all. From there I gave Love to all, and this was the part where the lemon turns to lemonade. We are a complex biological computer that I am sure even our manufacturers have forgotten the intricacies of. We were built through trial and error to survive on a shoestring of energy that was bestowed upon us while we carry out our task of feeding the unseen and keeping Hell alive. No doubt modifications have been made over the ages. Ghouls of entities were inserted within our forms to regulate us, and I will most probably spend I don’t know how many years more to uncover what lies beneath our bonnet. When I gave Love to all, I never realized that I was the all through my separation from my kin. In the past I gave Love to all on many occasions, but this Love passed right through many as they were too focused on how right they are. This Love diffused to the wind, but now, with the separation, this Love stayed with me – and all within me – the all I never knew existed. Every part of me the manufactured biological computer, as well as the ghouls that were a part of my forms, were filled with this Love. One by one I felt these entities leave my space, and so did white boy and his snake. Go into the silence – into the stillness of the Love that is, and allow this Love to fill the all that is. This is every part of your existence as well as those within your existence. Your world – you – is now Love, with no interference from ghouls. Let’s see what comes in the next night.
  16. I would define dance as: An expression of one’s inner self through movement. Since my separation there has been a dance of energy within my forms. There is more clarity within. That is the good news. The bad news is what I see and experience from the shadows has been amplified and clarified – have upgraded to HD (high definition.) There are those that shun Life – in the seen and unseen. Steven was bitter towards Life, but he never wanted to shun it – he wants to embrace Life and live every moment to its fullest. What I met last night was one of those who showed Life the finger and went about his existence. I understand this shunning of Life, but I also understand that we cannot do this alone – we need each other. I am a lonely fart, but I am this out of choice. I know what is out there, so I don’t waste my time reaching out to people as I know what I will get. This is one side of the story. The other side is that there are good, sincere people – there are many of them, and one should always make oneself open to cross their path, which I do. No man or woman is an island. The being I met last night in my sleep state was an island to Life, and the absolute disaster with this is that one loses touch with what you are and what you have become, as there is no one to reflect upon to understand what you have become. In my sleep state, through my Third Eye, I saw this young man. He was Human looking, apart from his green skin color. His face was about an inch from mine as I lay in bed looking at him. I had a premonition that “fun and games” were about to begin, and on queue he opened his mouth. His mouth was webbed – it was that of a snakes mouth, and out of reflex I turned my head away as I did not want to see what was coming next. I did not see, but I felt the projection of snakes from this young man’s mouth as the snakes filled my forms. For fucks sakes. Snakes, snakes, snakes moving all around within me. They were even on the inside of my face. At times like these it is important to know yourself. You are the strand of Inherent Goodness within, and everything else is an illusion. You breathe in this Love that is, and this Love engulfs those in your space. While this mass of snakes were moving within me as I lay in bed, I thought of all those I Love and those who Love me, as well as those who decided to take the separation route as well. The Love that I filled myself with, I filled them with as well. After about twenty minutes this young man’s snakes departed my forms. Before they and him fully left he passed on a message for my eldest daughter, which was to stop being nasty to others, and equally so, don’t allow others to be nasty to you. The green skin of this young man was from the snakes that were a part of him. Beneath his Human-looking frequency is a Snake frequency. Before I saw this young man, I saw the eye of a snake looking at me, and this was the alter frequency. Shame, this guy meant no harm. He merely was what he was. Don’t ever walk that path. Don’t ever accept. Know what you are. Know that Love is real and is bigger than all the mess out there. We need to stop fighting and accepting, and start being what we, which is the strand of Inherent Goodness within us. After this encounter I battled to sleep. When I did, I saw the face of this elderly lady. She looked at me as if she was glad to see me. She brought her face closer and closer towards mine, and then I saw on the right hand side of her face was another face. This face was of a female that looked as if she was waxed in silence. Was this elderly lady carrying the memory, and frequency, of someone she loved dearly? I don’t know, but I feel strong that she never let go of someone she lost. The disaster is that the one she held on to was never allowed to be free and follow their own path. These encounters were not chance encounters. I believe I met them to help them – to make them aware of the strand that they are. Don’t ever be afraid of what you don’t know, as now you know yourself. Knowing yourself makes one no longer drift aimlessly. Yes, we are not Home, but until we are, let’s live Life to our fullest.
  17. I would define dance as: An expression of one’s inner self through movement. Since my separation there has been a dance of energy within my forms. There is more clarity within. That is the good news. The bad news is what I see and experience from the shadows has been amplified and clarified – have upgraded to HD (high definition.) There are those that shun Life – in the seen and unseen. Steven was bitter towards Life, but he never wanted to shun it – he wants to embrace Life and live every moment to its fullest. What I met last night was one of those who showed Life the finger and went about his existence. I understand this shunning of Life, but I also understand that we cannot do this alone – we need each other. I am a lonely fart, but I am this out of choice. I know what is out there, so I don’t waste my time reaching out to people as I know what I will get. This is one side of the story. The other side is that there are good, sincere people – there are many of them, and one should always make oneself open to cross their path, which I do. No man or woman is an island. The being I met last night in my sleep state was an island to Life, and the absolute disaster with this is that one loses touch with what you are and what you have become, as there is no one to reflect upon to understand what you have become. In my sleep state, through my Third Eye, I saw this young man. He was Human looking, apart from his green skin color. His face was about an inch from mine as I lay in bed looking at him. I had a premonition that “fun and games” were about to begin, and on queue he opened his mouth. His mouth was webbed – it was that of a snakes mouth, and out of reflex I turned my head away as I did not want to see what was coming next. I did not see, but I felt the projection of snakes from this young man’s mouth as the snakes filled my forms. For fucks sakes. Snakes, snakes, snakes moving all around within me. They were even on the inside of my face. At times like these it is important to know yourself. You are the strand of Inherent Goodness within, and everything else is an illusion. You breathe in this Love that is, and this Love engulfs those in your space. While this mass of snakes were moving within me as I lay in bed, I thought of all those I Love and those who Love me, as well as those who decided to take the separation route as well. The Love that I filled myself with, I filled them with as well. After about twenty minutes this young man’s snakes departed my forms. Before they and him fully left he passed on a message for my eldest daughter, which was to stop being nasty to others, and equally so, don’t allow others to be nasty to you. The green skin of this young man was from the snakes that were a part of him. Beneath his Human-looking frequency is a Snake frequency. Before I saw this young man, I saw the eye of a snake looking at me, and this was the alter frequency. Shame, this guy meant no harm. He merely was what he was. Don’t ever walk that path. Don’t ever accept. Know what you are. Know that Love is real and is bigger than all the mess out there. We need to stop fighting and accepting, and start being what we, which is the strand of Inherent Goodness within us. After this encounter I battled to sleep. When I did, I saw the face of this elderly lady. She looked at me as if she was glad to see me. She brought her face closer and closer towards mine, and then I saw on the right hand side of her face was another face. This face was of a female that looked as if she was waxed in silence. Was this elderly lady carrying the memory, and frequency, of someone she loved dearly? I don’t know, but I feel strong that she never let go of someone she lost. The disaster is that the one she held on to was never allowed to be free and follow their own path. These encounters were not chance encounters. I believe I met them to help them – to make them aware of the strand that they are. Don’t ever be afraid of what you don’t know, as now you know yourself. Knowing yourself makes one no longer drift aimlessly. Yes, we are not Home, but until we are, let’s live Life to our fullest.
  18. It is just after four in the morning. I have to figure this out. The implanted dream was weak and irrelevant. I was with these Hill-Billy’s going to a certain place. We were unsure whether we should turn right of left at the sign. I remember we were told to turn right. Then I was in this car with one of them. Someone was taking pot-shots at us from the highway above us. I told the driver to drive faster to get out of range, but this guy did not do so. Then I found myself in some public pool of sorts talking irrelevant nonsense to others. At this point I awoke from the implanted dream. I was lying face down in bed with my head turned towards my wife’s direction. I saw this fucker straddling her head and putting his mouth to hers – this was not a romantic kiss, but rather a feeding of the energy around her body that was emitted from her following her own implanted dream. This entity saw that I saw him and stopped momentarily in shock, but then he just resumed going about his meal. Then I turned on my back as I lay in bed to get a proper look at what was going on around me, and the first thing I saw was what looked like a crabs leg just to the left of me. Some bug of sorts was behind me straddling me while another one of these entities was feeding from the energy that had accumulated from me following their weak implanted dream. These entities were a different species to us. They had Human form, as in body, head, arms, etc. but their teeth were sharp and pointed. There was this distinct primitive feel to them, as in raw, undiluted beasts. Over their faces was a pattern that was the trademark of this species. Now get this: If such savagery controls us and feeds off of us, how low are we on the food chain????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? We are a biological computer-generated programme that has been manufactured to feed beasts from the shadows so that they may survive off the energy we emit, be this energy in our waking state or our sleep state. When we are awake, our stress and our emotions feed the system of Hell and keep it intact. Our main drives are food, receiving money, and of course that five-course meal of energy what we release to those from the shadows through our primitive need to procreate and have pleasure. Sex is a biggie programme in us the biological computer, and there is nothing wrong with this, but through our pleasure Beasts survive and also receive their pleasure from our explosion of energy. Is this all we are destined to be – emitters of energy so that those from the shadows may feed off of us? We live an illusionary existence in a story we call Life so that primitive monsters can survive from us, and that is not even the worst of it. When we see through the illusion and the nonsense of Life, we cross over and become one of these Beasts from the shadows. As they fed off of you, now you become one of them and feed off of us. This is not my theory – this is what I see. I have seen many Human forms within the shadows that have come to feed off of my energy or try and destroy me. This is what we were manufactured to be: To be emitters of energy to feed those from the shadows. Do you understand now what you are? You are not an accountant or a bus driver or a teacher – you are a manufactured biological computer that has been made to emit energy to feed raw, primitive, cruel Beasts. How the fuck do we get out of this mess? How do we undo what we are? NOBODY has ever found an answer to that question because at our core we have never had the courage to stand back and see what we are – what our loved ones are. Trust me what I say that we all can see the unseen, but nobody looks anymore. Why would we want to see how we and those we love are shamed every night in our sleep state? I remember one night waking up and this sheep entity was straddling over me fucking me. With its one paw it turned my head to look in the direction of my wife lying next to me. Another sheep entity was doing the same to her. “Look Steven. Look what we do. Because we can.” How many of us are infused with toxins during our sleep state, where these toxins take on a form that we would call “disease.” Seeing your loved one slowly die while these Beasts feed from our energy called Sorrow is not fun, but to those from the shadows this is just another day at the office. In writing this journal to find a way out of this mess am I just fooling myself? Can I change what we were manufactured to be? Can I destroy this manufactured mould so that the real us emerges and is set free from this nightmare that is real within the illusion? Divine intervention will not come boys and girls unless we do our part to break free from this mess. Our shackles need to broken free so that we may be in a position to be helped. It is through association that we are linked together and united. A baby crying on the other side of the globe has a ripple effect, and this energy touches us as we are all interconnected through our association of coming from the same manufacturers plant. From a manufacturers perspective, we resonate the same energy at our core, and this energy is what links us and binds us together. That is why it is impossible to be happy here in Hell when so many are unhappy, as their unhappiness/despair touches us. When the Dragon and Serpent children found themselves in the illusionary Garden of Semiramis and things began to go wrong through the parasitic frequency of Deception that was unknown to them within them, these children of Sophia and Semiramis should have huddled together to reflect as to what was happening to them, so that their understanding may set them to return to the fields of the Infinite. These children should have united as one. When things began to get tough they should have put aside their differences and stood as one to find a way out. They should have fought for themselves and those around them through unity, but the parasite within created a want within them from which arose a new sensation, namely greed. The joy of creating was surpassed by the euphoria of holding and keeping what you created. It was yours, and you loved it more than anything. This led to division. Boundaries were set, and in no time whatsoever this silly game of It’s Mine came a crashing down. At the beginning of what would become the end of Life as we then knew it, we should have held hands and united as one. The remembrance of Home and what we are was still strong within us – we just needed to put our heads together to remind ourselves what we are and from where we arose. But now, for us the manufactured biological computer, it would be wise to sever our association with our fellow species, as well as our association/link with all those in the many worlds of Hell. At the beginning of the journal I wrote how the domesticated animals are above us because of their unconditional love. My dogs have never really cared about themselves – Steven has always been their focus, and if they can carry my burdens or give of their energy to help me, this is done out of reflex. A parent has this love for their children, but by and large, we are so consumed by the weight of Life that we only really have energy to look after ourselves. That is why, for me, the Cosmic Thief is the biggest player here in Hell. This awful, awful thing takes from us so that we cannot give to others. By having what is rightfully ours, we are in a position to help others, and I know that in many out there are good hearts. We would have given to the needy to lift them up had we the opportunity to do so. This helping hand amongst each other would eventually have lifted us out of Hell. But most importantly, our happiness of having what we are, be it financial or health or peace, this happiness would have transformed the frequency/energy of Hell and taken us to a level where we could have undone the manufacturers mould so that the strand within may come to the fore and shine. I wrote about this unconditional love and how great it was, but in truth this unconditional love from our best friends the animals is the silliest of emotions. I care about you more than I care about myself, so I will take your pain or disease upon myself to help you carry your burden. Wow! Great stuff – but for who, as eventually both parties sink. Unconditional love is a lose-lose scenario – guaranteed. This is because nobody has found a way out of Hell. If you want to help someone, then break free of Hell to the fields of the Infinite so that if you want to carry them, then carry them Home rather than to just another less dense state within Hell. Years ago I was aware that we were in a dense frequency bubble. I said to myself that if only I could break free of this bubble I could go and find help to get out of this mess. I found a way; I did break free of this cosmic/world frequency bubble, but all I met were other worlds within Hell. We are all in this “air bubble” called Hell that that needs to be popped so that we may once again be one with the waters/fields of the Infinite. On the astral/spirit level to stand together as one is suicide, as we the species are too lost and confused to help each other out. Through our association; through our connection of what we are and from where we arose within Hell, standing and uniting as one on the astral level will merely sink us further into the dense frequency of Hell. I can get on a plane and go to Japan to see why that baby is crying and do whatever I can to assist, but my astral form can no longer be tied to my kin, as so many do not know who they are and what they are meant to be. Their beliefs have ingrained within them a false sense of security, where come hell or high water, this is who they are and where they belong. This world, in the seen and unseen, is falling apart at an alarming rate. I have been to worlds where ours is heading – where there is literally nothing but desolation. All that remains is the parasite that has fed from all. This is the tragic truth for those that play their game of cruelty and enslavement within the worlds of Hell: You stupid fucking dummies – you end up destroying yourself as well. Where did you think your game ends up? – In some divine euphoria where everyone plays pitch fork/pitch fork 24/7? Stupid, stupid, stupid fools! In cutting the throats of others, you do the same to yourself – the wheel turns as you drive down the slopes of Hell to the Nothingness of the Forgotten. I am not telling anyone what to do. Us dummies need to start thinking for ourselves. I am telling you what I will be doing, and you can do the same if you wish. I imagine a string of pearls that is draped around the neck of a mannequin. Each pearl is a frequency/world of Hell. Within each pearl is the species of that world/frequency, as well as all life associated with that species, as in the animals, plants, etc. Around and within these pearls is a shadow – the unseen to many of those within the pearls. A string unites the pearls, and this string is within the seen and unseen. I take my hand and pull on that string of pearls, breaking the seen and unseen string. Now the pearls are all over the place, rolling about on their own. Those within the pearl on the seen and unseen feel this wave of separation and are no longer united together. Now each can go their own path. If two, for example, wish to remain united, then so be it, but they are free from those who were attached to the string – within the seen and unseen within their world, as well as the other worlds. By knowing what you know, which is another way of saying listening to your good heart, go within and reflect. Let all the shit; all the nonsense; all the indoctrinated beliefs; all the cruelty and all the joy – let it wash all away. From there know yourself. Know what you are. You are a manufactured biological computer created to keep a sick and cruel game alive within an illusion, all the while while the players within the game destroy themselves until there is nothing left but a parasite. As the players are destroyed, so too is their creation, which is you. Understand that this is what you are. Now understand that within this manufactured form that has a physical and astral state resides the strand of the Creator. There is more than one Creator within the stillness of what is. One of these Creators became to be known as The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. This is not an entity, but a state that cannot truly be defined with words. It is a flux of something that defines Oneness, where you are what you are. Sophia created the Dragon spirit within a field of the Infinite. Her curiosity got the better of her, and in seeking to seeing what she created, she exceeded the realm of her divinity and fell. The impact of her fall created the Serpent spirit, and Semiramis emerged from these serpents to take charge. She saw the field Sophia created for her Dragons, and Semiramis too wanted such a world. Through the power of Imagination that befell Semiramis through her association with Sophia, Semiramis created her illusionary Garden. She told the children, Dragon and Serpent alike, to come and play in her illusionary Garden. Curiosity got the better of many, and many fell/dipped into the illusion. The state of curiosity was unknown within the fields of Infinite Love, and maybe this is why Sophia fell, but within the fields this is no problem, as from the Source states can be born that are anew. From there, they return to where they arose. The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia was merely an accident as she played with the state of curiosity. This was no big deal. She could have dusted herself off and returned to from where she fell. Her impact zone of her divinity touching a field of the Infinite that created the state of the Serpent was also no big deal. There was enough space for all to play in. It was the illusionary Garden of Semiramis that fucked everything up, because within the illusion the state of curiosity could take told and develop into a form. This curiosity within the illusionary Garden came to be what I call the Parasitic frequency of Deception. It is a parasite because it infiltrated the children as well as Semiramis and they were not aware of this. This parasite wanted, and its want became the want of the children. Understand that it was not good or evil – it merely was what it was. The children within the illusion eventually fell, and what we mean by this is that their forms became denser as they drifted further away from Home and who and what they were. I would say that the Dragons and Serpents drifted into slumber as the dense frequency became too much for them. These in slumber are the true children of Sophia and those from her fall. From there, others were created within the illusion by what I would call the cosmic geneticists. One called Haman was at their helm, and Semiramis oversees all. Understand that her state is half control, as the parasite took her over, but the other side of her is trying to sort out this mess that got the better of all of us – her maternal instinct is always there. I am not turning my back and walking away from those in Hell. I am standing apart so that I can be what I am meant to be. I help myself so that I am in a position to help others should they wish help. I am not knocking this emotion of unconditional love. Of all the Beasts that tried to destroy me, there is one in Hell that I called The Joker that came the closest. As he was throwing everything he had at my astral form to destroy me, I imagined my dog Fiona by my side. As I was being destroyed, I said to her: “I love you – I am this love. You love me – I am this love.” This got me through. What I have said, and will do, is not for me, but for everyone. Wading through the mud of the cesspool while we hold our hands has not worked. On the physical plane we need to unite and become kinder and more genuine, but on the astral we need to stand alone, so that when we see a reflection of the strand within, we may become this strand. The strand from the Creator from which the Dragon spirit arose is within all of us. This strand is within all life. Stand as one within yourself, and allow this strand to come to the fore. When the Infinite shows itself, this strand that you are will then see and know itself, and then we are Giants.
  19. It is just after four in the morning. I have to figure this out. The implanted dream was weak and irrelevant. I was with these Hill-Billy’s going to a certain place. We were unsure whether we should turn right of left at the sign. I remember we were told to turn right. Then I was in this car with one of them. Someone was taking pot-shots at us from the highway above us. I told the driver to drive faster to get out of range, but this guy did not do so. Then I found myself in some public pool of sorts talking irrelevant nonsense to others. At this point I awoke from the implanted dream. I was lying face down in bed with my head turned towards my wife’s direction. I saw this fucker straddling her head and putting his mouth to hers – this was not a romantic kiss, but rather a feeding of the energy around her body that was emitted from her following her own implanted dream. This entity saw that I saw him and stopped momentarily in shock, but then he just resumed going about his meal. Then I turned on my back as I lay in bed to get a proper look at what was going on around me, and the first thing I saw was what looked like a crabs leg just to the left of me. Some bug of sorts was behind me straddling me while another one of these entities was feeding from the energy that had accumulated from me following their weak implanted dream. These entities were a different species to us. They had Human form, as in body, head, arms, etc. but their teeth were sharp and pointed. There was this distinct primitive feel to them, as in raw, undiluted beasts. Over their faces was a pattern that was the trademark of this species. Now get this: If such savagery controls us and feeds off of us, how low are we on the food chain????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? We are a biological computer-generated programme that has been manufactured to feed beasts from the shadows so that they may survive off the energy we emit, be this energy in our waking state or our sleep state. When we are awake, our stress and our emotions feed the system of Hell and keep it intact. Our main drives are food, receiving money, and of course that five-course meal of energy what we release to those from the shadows through our primitive need to procreate and have pleasure. Sex is a biggie programme in us the biological computer, and there is nothing wrong with this, but through our pleasure Beasts survive and also receive their pleasure from our explosion of energy. Is this all we are destined to be – emitters of energy so that those from the shadows may feed off of us? We live an illusionary existence in a story we call Life so that primitive monsters can survive from us, and that is not even the worst of it. When we see through the illusion and the nonsense of Life, we cross over and become one of these Beasts from the shadows. As they fed off of you, now you become one of them and feed off of us. This is not my theory – this is what I see. I have seen many Human forms within the shadows that have come to feed off of my energy or try and destroy me. This is what we were manufactured to be: To be emitters of energy to feed those from the shadows. Do you understand now what you are? You are not an accountant or a bus driver or a teacher – you are a manufactured biological computer that has been made to emit energy to feed raw, primitive, cruel Beasts. How the fuck do we get out of this mess? How do we undo what we are? NOBODY has ever found an answer to that question because at our core we have never had the courage to stand back and see what we are – what our loved ones are. Trust me what I say that we all can see the unseen, but nobody looks anymore. Why would we want to see how we and those we love are shamed every night in our sleep state? I remember one night waking up and this sheep entity was straddling over me fucking me. With its one paw it turned my head to look in the direction of my wife lying next to me. Another sheep entity was doing the same to her. “Look Steven. Look what we do. Because we can.” How many of us are infused with toxins during our sleep state, where these toxins take on a form that we would call “disease.” Seeing your loved one slowly die while these Beasts feed from our energy called Sorrow is not fun, but to those from the shadows this is just another day at the office. In writing this journal to find a way out of this mess am I just fooling myself? Can I change what we were manufactured to be? Can I destroy this manufactured mould so that the real us emerges and is set free from this nightmare that is real within the illusion? Divine intervention will not come boys and girls unless we do our part to break free from this mess. Our shackles need to broken free so that we may be in a position to be helped. It is through association that we are linked together and united. A baby crying on the other side of the globe has a ripple effect, and this energy touches us as we are all interconnected through our association of coming from the same manufacturers plant. From a manufacturers perspective, we resonate the same energy at our core, and this energy is what links us and binds us together. That is why it is impossible to be happy here in Hell when so many are unhappy, as their unhappiness/despair touches us. When the Dragon and Serpent children found themselves in the illusionary Garden of Semiramis and things began to go wrong through the parasitic frequency of Deception that was unknown to them within them, these children of Sophia and Semiramis should have huddled together to reflect as to what was happening to them, so that their understanding may set them to return to the fields of the Infinite. These children should have united as one. When things began to get tough they should have put aside their differences and stood as one to find a way out. They should have fought for themselves and those around them through unity, but the parasite within created a want within them from which arose a new sensation, namely greed. The joy of creating was surpassed by the euphoria of holding and keeping what you created. It was yours, and you loved it more than anything. This led to division. Boundaries were set, and in no time whatsoever this silly game of It’s Mine came a crashing down. At the beginning of what would become the end of Life as we then knew it, we should have held hands and united as one. The remembrance of Home and what we are was still strong within us – we just needed to put our heads together to remind ourselves what we are and from where we arose. But now, for us the manufactured biological computer, it would be wise to sever our association with our fellow species, as well as our association/link with all those in the many worlds of Hell. At the beginning of the journal I wrote how the domesticated animals are above us because of their unconditional love. My dogs have never really cared about themselves – Steven has always been their focus, and if they can carry my burdens or give of their energy to help me, this is done out of reflex. A parent has this love for their children, but by and large, we are so consumed by the weight of Life that we only really have energy to look after ourselves. That is why, for me, the Cosmic Thief is the biggest player here in Hell. This awful, awful thing takes from us so that we cannot give to others. By having what is rightfully ours, we are in a position to help others, and I know that in many out there are good hearts. We would have given to the needy to lift them up had we the opportunity to do so. This helping hand amongst each other would eventually have lifted us out of Hell. But most importantly, our happiness of having what we are, be it financial or health or peace, this happiness would have transformed the frequency/energy of Hell and taken us to a level where we could have undone the manufacturers mould so that the strand within may come to the fore and shine. I wrote about this unconditional love and how great it was, but in truth this unconditional love from our best friends the animals is the silliest of emotions. I care about you more than I care about myself, so I will take your pain or disease upon myself to help you carry your burden. Wow! Great stuff – but for who, as eventually both parties sink. Unconditional love is a lose-lose scenario – guaranteed. This is because nobody has found a way out of Hell. If you want to help someone, then break free of Hell to the fields of the Infinite so that if you want to carry them, then carry them Home rather than to just another less dense state within Hell. Years ago I was aware that we were in a dense frequency bubble. I said to myself that if only I could break free of this bubble I could go and find help to get out of this mess. I found a way; I did break free of this cosmic/world frequency bubble, but all I met were other worlds within Hell. We are all in this “air bubble” called Hell that that needs to be popped so that we may once again be one with the waters/fields of the Infinite. On the astral/spirit level to stand together as one is suicide, as we the species are too lost and confused to help each other out. Through our association; through our connection of what we are and from where we arose within Hell, standing and uniting as one on the astral level will merely sink us further into the dense frequency of Hell. I can get on a plane and go to Japan to see why that baby is crying and do whatever I can to assist, but my astral form can no longer be tied to my kin, as so many do not know who they are and what they are meant to be. Their beliefs have ingrained within them a false sense of security, where come hell or high water, this is who they are and where they belong. This world, in the seen and unseen, is falling apart at an alarming rate. I have been to worlds where ours is heading – where there is literally nothing but desolation. All that remains is the parasite that has fed from all. This is the tragic truth for those that play their game of cruelty and enslavement within the worlds of Hell: You stupid fucking dummies – you end up destroying yourself as well. Where did you think your game ends up? – In some divine euphoria where everyone plays pitch fork/pitch fork 24/7? Stupid, stupid, stupid fools! In cutting the throats of others, you do the same to yourself – the wheel turns as you drive down the slopes of Hell to the Nothingness of the Forgotten. I am not telling anyone what to do. Us dummies need to start thinking for ourselves. I am telling you what I will be doing, and you can do the same if you wish. I imagine a string of pearls that is draped around the neck of a mannequin. Each pearl is a frequency/world of Hell. Within each pearl is the species of that world/frequency, as well as all life associated with that species, as in the animals, plants, etc. Around and within these pearls is a shadow – the unseen to many of those within the pearls. A string unites the pearls, and this string is within the seen and unseen. I take my hand and pull on that string of pearls, breaking the seen and unseen string. Now the pearls are all over the place, rolling about on their own. Those within the pearl on the seen and unseen feel this wave of separation and are no longer united together. Now each can go their own path. If two, for example, wish to remain united, then so be it, but they are free from those who were attached to the string – within the seen and unseen within their world, as well as the other worlds. By knowing what you know, which is another way of saying listening to your good heart, go within and reflect. Let all the shit; all the nonsense; all the indoctrinated beliefs; all the cruelty and all the joy – let it wash all away. From there know yourself. Know what you are. You are a manufactured biological computer created to keep a sick and cruel game alive within an illusion, all the while while the players within the game destroy themselves until there is nothing left but a parasite. As the players are destroyed, so too is their creation, which is you. Understand that this is what you are. Now understand that within this manufactured form that has a physical and astral state resides the strand of the Creator. There is more than one Creator within the stillness of what is. One of these Creators became to be known as The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. This is not an entity, but a state that cannot truly be defined with words. It is a flux of something that defines Oneness, where you are what you are. Sophia created the Dragon spirit within a field of the Infinite. Her curiosity got the better of her, and in seeking to seeing what she created, she exceeded the realm of her divinity and fell. The impact of her fall created the Serpent spirit, and Semiramis emerged from these serpents to take charge. She saw the field Sophia created for her Dragons, and Semiramis too wanted such a world. Through the power of Imagination that befell Semiramis through her association with Sophia, Semiramis created her illusionary Garden. She told the children, Dragon and Serpent alike, to come and play in her illusionary Garden. Curiosity got the better of many, and many fell/dipped into the illusion. The state of curiosity was unknown within the fields of Infinite Love, and maybe this is why Sophia fell, but within the fields this is no problem, as from the Source states can be born that are anew. From there, they return to where they arose. The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia was merely an accident as she played with the state of curiosity. This was no big deal. She could have dusted herself off and returned to from where she fell. Her impact zone of her divinity touching a field of the Infinite that created the state of the Serpent was also no big deal. There was enough space for all to play in. It was the illusionary Garden of Semiramis that fucked everything up, because within the illusion the state of curiosity could take told and develop into a form. This curiosity within the illusionary Garden came to be what I call the Parasitic frequency of Deception. It is a parasite because it infiltrated the children as well as Semiramis and they were not aware of this. This parasite wanted, and its want became the want of the children. Understand that it was not good or evil – it merely was what it was. The children within the illusion eventually fell, and what we mean by this is that their forms became denser as they drifted further away from Home and who and what they were. I would say that the Dragons and Serpents drifted into slumber as the dense frequency became too much for them. These in slumber are the true children of Sophia and those from her fall. From there, others were created within the illusion by what I would call the cosmic geneticists. One called Haman was at their helm, and Semiramis oversees all. Understand that her state is half control, as the parasite took her over, but the other side of her is trying to sort out this mess that got the better of all of us – her maternal instinct is always there. I am not turning my back and walking away from those in Hell. I am standing apart so that I can be what I am meant to be. I help myself so that I am in a position to help others should they wish help. I am not knocking this emotion of unconditional love. Of all the Beasts that tried to destroy me, there is one in Hell that I called The Joker that came the closest. As he was throwing everything he had at my astral form to destroy me, I imagined my dog Fiona by my side. As I was being destroyed, I said to her: “I love you – I am this love. You love me – I am this love.” This got me through. What I have said, and will do, is not for me, but for everyone. Wading through the mud of the cesspool while we hold our hands has not worked. On the physical plane we need to unite and become kinder and more genuine, but on the astral we need to stand alone, so that when we see a reflection of the strand within, we may become this strand. The strand from the Creator from which the Dragon spirit arose is within all of us. This strand is within all life. Stand as one within yourself, and allow this strand to come to the fore. When the Infinite shows itself, this strand that you are will then see and know itself, and then we are Giants.
  20. One needs to know oneself. You are the final frontier to what I would describe as Happiness. How many of us do know ourselves? We know what we like and dislike, but do we know ourselves? I always taught my children to have good hearts – to be good people. This advice, to a large extent, meant nothing, as my children have no real definition between what is good and bad. It is when others treat you the way you treat others that the light bulb comes on and we are given a window of opportunity to see what we are through the actions of others that have been our actions all along. From there we either reflect and transform, or we get stuck in and go to war with the scum that we are. It all comes back to having a good heart – are you kind. If you can keep your sanity amongst the insanity around you, the path through the final frontier of you will be an easy one. If you have issues, then go into the silence and reflect on these issues. To do this, you have to know yourself, which is another way of saying being true to yourself. I have always kept my good heart, and I always will, but my issue is that I want nothing from the insanity that is Life. Life must just fuck off and leave me alone. I have been hurt enough where all I want is to be left alone. But it goes even further than that: I want nothing from nobody. This is a dangerous game for Steven to play, because if you want nothing from Life, Life gives you nothing. This explains why I literally don’t have two cents to call my own. There is a natural “law” within the spectrum of Love, and that law/cycle is Give and Receive. First give to yourself. Give kindness and peace, and then allow yourself to Receive what you in effect gave to yourself, which is peace. In the fields of the Infinite this process is as natural as breathing, but in Hell things play to a different tune. We give to get, or we just take and don’t give, or we give everything and demand that we receive nothing as we don’t want to be tainted by the sickness that we call Life. Start again. Give kindness, because it is nice to be nice. Open yourself up to receive, because there comes a point where you are at the edge of the abyss because you have nothing more to give because you have demanded that you will not receive. In the final frontier it is not about Life, it is about you. It is you with you and nothing else. Be kind to yourself, just as you have always been kind to others. If you have not been kind to others then start now and never stop. In the final frontier only you can carry you, and for many, including myself, that is one insurmountable load to carry. Through the insanity of Life we have shut ourselves off from help and from others. We see many that are bad and assume all are bad. This we understand as eventually the blows take their toll. Make peace with yourself, and then become open to Give and Receive. This stability and balance is needed for the road ahead.
  21. The world of solidity is our concrete trap within the frequency of Hell. We believe everything has a place, a purpose – the solidity of the world defines our borders. It would be wise to break this mould of false perception, as here within Hell there is no solidity – there is merely frequencies that are condensed to be viewed as solid. When we fell into the dense frequency of Hell we still played with this vortex of energy that we found within the illusionary Garden of Semiramis. In your and my limited imagination picture a tornado in its full might, but our tornado; our energy was Beautiful rather than destructive. This frequency/energy flowed to and fro, and it was a spectacle to behold. Nothing was solid in this illusionary world where we came to play. With our imagination we shifted the frequencies of the illusion and it was truly beautiful and spectacular. The frequency of the illusionary Garden was a canvas to play upon, whereas in the fields of Infinite Love what was there merely was. No canvas was needed there, as we were merely in a state of being – no props were needed to make our Home spectacular. What I am getting at, is that in the beginning stages of the illusionary Garden life could be seen as vortices of energy/frequency. Then things began to go wrong, and we became denser in our state as more was wanted and we wanted to hold onto what we had. The vortex slowed down considerably. One of the mysteries of living in Hell is wondering why help never really came from the Infinite to bail us out of this mess? We the children became lost, afraid and cruel, so why did those from the Infinite not extend a helping hand? The answer is that help was extended, and this was the dilemma of the ages: Those from the Infinite wanted to help, which they did. When you want, you have to engage, but what happens when you do not know with what you are engaging? That is simple: You become sucked into the state that you wanted to help, and now the helper becomes the helpless. I understand the dilemma of the Infinite – we turned our backs on those that wanted to help as we were too busy surviving to remember what we are and where we came from. Those from the Infinite touched our waters and were drawn into the chaos through the innocent act of wanting to help. Picture two cyclones that unite. Now they are one – yes they are stronger, but strongly imbedded within the illusion. We needed to turn around and see the Infinite and know what we saw. As we forgot ourselves, we forgot the Infinite, and we never knew what was staring us in the face. Those from the Infinite should never have gone on a mission to want to save us – they merely should have been what they are, and by us seeing them we should have remembered what we are, and in that moment we are transformed and back Home. My guess is that we never even looked – we had our noses to the ground surviving. The lesson to learn is twofold: Those from the Infinite must never want to help, rather they should merely show us what they are so that we may look in this mirror to know what we are, and secondly, we should begin to look further than our noses to beyond the solid world to the fields of the Infinite. From the solid we see the frequencies of the illusion to the state of Oneness of the Infinite. By wanting, the black hole of Hell merely became stronger. Shear your energy/frequency from this vortex of Hell. Do not want this, just be what you are. Now you are separate from the black hole frequency of Hell. Take time out there to reflect, and then look for the Infinite which is everywhere. Remember, always just be. If help is needed, help will come. This time look at what is shown to you, as what you see is what you are. *** Know that throughout your existence here is Hell there has been a Cosmic Thief. This is an entity that takes what is rightfully yours. To help you, I need to first help myself, as by helping myself I am in a stronger position to help others. This was the role of the Cosmic Thief: to level the playing fields by taking from others so that we cannot help each other out the mud. I have known about this Thief for many years, and last night I saw it for the first time. By exposing a thief their power is no more. Take back what was taken from you by this Cosmic Thief. Don’t take because you want – take because it is yours, and it was never for others to take from you.
  22. The world of solidity is our concrete trap within the frequency of Hell. We believe everything has a place, a purpose – the solidity of the world defines our borders. It would be wise to break this mould of false perception, as here within Hell there is no solidity – there is merely frequencies that are condensed to be viewed as solid. When we fell into the dense frequency of Hell we still played with this vortex of energy that we found within the illusionary Garden of Semiramis. In your and my limited imagination picture a tornado in its full might, but our tornado; our energy was Beautiful rather than destructive. This frequency/energy flowed to and fro, and it was a spectacle to behold. Nothing was solid in this illusionary world where we came to play. With our imagination we shifted the frequencies of the illusion and it was truly beautiful and spectacular. The frequency of the illusionary Garden was a canvas to play upon, whereas in the fields of Infinite Love what was there merely was. No canvas was needed there, as we were merely in a state of being – no props were needed to make our Home spectacular. What I am getting at, is that in the beginning stages of the illusionary Garden life could be seen as vortices of energy/frequency. Then things began to go wrong, and we became denser in our state as more was wanted and we wanted to hold onto what we had. The vortex slowed down considerably. One of the mysteries of living in Hell is wondering why help never really came from the Infinite to bail us out of this mess? We the children became lost, afraid and cruel, so why did those from the Infinite not extend a helping hand? The answer is that help was extended, and this was the dilemma of the ages: Those from the Infinite wanted to help, which they did. When you want, you have to engage, but what happens when you do not know with what you are engaging? That is simple: You become sucked into the state that you wanted to help, and now the helper becomes the helpless. I understand the dilemma of the Infinite – we turned our backs on those that wanted to help as we were too busy surviving to remember what we are and where we came from. Those from the Infinite touched our waters and were drawn into the chaos through the innocent act of wanting to help. Picture two cyclones that unite. Now they are one – yes they are stronger, but strongly imbedded within the illusion. We needed to turn around and see the Infinite and know what we saw. As we forgot ourselves, we forgot the Infinite, and we never knew what was staring us in the face. Those from the Infinite should never have gone on a mission to want to save us – they merely should have been what they are, and by us seeing them we should have remembered what we are, and in that moment we are transformed and back Home. My guess is that we never even looked – we had our noses to the ground surviving. The lesson to learn is twofold: Those from the Infinite must never want to help, rather they should merely show us what they are so that we may look in this mirror to know what we are, and secondly, we should begin to look further than our noses to beyond the solid world to the fields of the Infinite. From the solid we see the frequencies of the illusion to the state of Oneness of the Infinite. By wanting, the black hole of Hell merely became stronger. Shear your energy/frequency from this vortex of Hell. Do not want this, just be what you are. Now you are separate from the black hole frequency of Hell. Take time out there to reflect, and then look for the Infinite which is everywhere. Remember, always just be. If help is needed, help will come. This time look at what is shown to you, as what you see is what you are. *** Know that throughout your existence here is Hell there has been a Cosmic Thief. This is an entity that takes what is rightfully yours. To help you, I need to first help myself, as by helping myself I am in a stronger position to help others. This was the role of the Cosmic Thief: to level the playing fields by taking from others so that we cannot help each other out the mud. I have known about this Thief for many years, and last night I saw it for the first time. By exposing a thief their power is no more. Take back what was taken from you by this Cosmic Thief. Don’t take because you want – take because it is yours, and it was never for others to take from you.
  23. Your astral/spirit form should be your “partner in crime;” the higher looking after the lower. Can you imagine how much easier and pleasant our existence would be having a guardian angel constantly at our side? Wow – what a pleasure! Why has the astral and body form never had the capacity to stand together as one and be the force they are meant to be? When the body form dies the astral form departs and goes to different dimensions, and it is fair to say that this astral form travels whilst the body is still alive. So it has the potential to always give us the heads-up to what is over the horizon, but why is this never done? There is one thing about Love, and that is those you Love and Love you only want the best for each other. There is no second best; there is no compromise – there is peace and contentment and nothing else. So what happened to break this unity and strength between the astral and the body form? Why is our lives so haphazard and uncertain? Last night I was awoken from a deep sleep – I was not awake, but was aware of me and my surroundings. What woke me up was what felt like a worm protruding from my right nostril. It was long and thin and extended from somewhere within my form to show itself through my nose. This is the Watcher spirit; the one assigned to each soul to make sure we remain in control so that all may run smoothly within Hell. I have never seen one before, but have felt it. If I had to have a sure guess, I would say that they look like an octopus of sorts. These fuckers are powerful – super-powerful; they are not to be underestimated. The Watcher spirit is the one dangling the carrot on the stick in front of us – they rule our roost. For me, what I want most throughout the day is to talk to others. So in my mind the conversation rolls with what I would say to others were they in my company. Most of the talk is to be joyous, and many is to lash at others to make them understand what cruel Beasts they are. For me, nothing in creation is really meant to be alone, and we the Human species are a bunch of lonely beings. This dilemma is easily solved by rekindling the relationship between the astral and body form, where these best of friends once again unite to enjoy each other’s kinship and the joys they experience. For the last two days I have not wanted, especially this conversation with others. Remember that the head honcho in the relationship is the astral/spirit form. So when we say “want for nothing in order to go into the silence so that the God-force within may come to the fore,” we are primarily talking to the astral form. We the body form need to play our part so that when our astral friend shows the way we may know and understand. By removing want from our existence, we remove the control the Watcher spirit had within our existence. Now there is no entity between the astral and body form to separate them and rule their existence. Now we are no longer playing in the game of Hell but rather within the state of Love, and in this state only the best is sourced by the astral for it and the body form to experience. Remember, there is nothing to learn, there is only to be what you are, which is the Source of Love. Persevere. Remain in the state of wanting nothing so that the stillness and Love may engulf you. Now you want nothing, yet you have everything.
  24. Your astral/spirit form should be your “partner in crime;” the higher looking after the lower. Can you imagine how much easier and pleasant our existence would be having a guardian angel constantly at our side? Wow – what a pleasure! Why has the astral and body form never had the capacity to stand together as one and be the force they are meant to be? When the body form dies the astral form departs and goes to different dimensions, and it is fair to say that this astral form travels whilst the body is still alive. So it has the potential to always give us the heads-up to what is over the horizon, but why is this never done? There is one thing about Love, and that is those you Love and Love you only want the best for each other. There is no second best; there is no compromise – there is peace and contentment and nothing else. So what happened to break this unity and strength between the astral and the body form? Why is our lives so haphazard and uncertain? Last night I was awoken from a deep sleep – I was not awake, but was aware of me and my surroundings. What woke me up was what felt like a worm protruding from my right nostril. It was long and thin and extended from somewhere within my form to show itself through my nose. This is the Watcher spirit; the one assigned to each soul to make sure we remain in control so that all may run smoothly within Hell. I have never seen one before, but have felt it. If I had to have a sure guess, I would say that they look like an octopus of sorts. These fuckers are powerful – super-powerful; they are not to be underestimated. The Watcher spirit is the one dangling the carrot on the stick in front of us – they rule our roost. For me, what I want most throughout the day is to talk to others. So in my mind the conversation rolls with what I would say to others were they in my company. Most of the talk is to be joyous, and many is to lash at others to make them understand what cruel Beasts they are. For me, nothing in creation is really meant to be alone, and we the Human species are a bunch of lonely beings. This dilemma is easily solved by rekindling the relationship between the astral and body form, where these best of friends once again unite to enjoy each other’s kinship and the joys they experience. For the last two days I have not wanted, especially this conversation with others. Remember that the head honcho in the relationship is the astral/spirit form. So when we say “want for nothing in order to go into the silence so that the God-force within may come to the fore,” we are primarily talking to the astral form. We the body form need to play our part so that when our astral friend shows the way we may know and understand. By removing want from our existence, we remove the control the Watcher spirit had within our existence. Now there is no entity between the astral and body form to separate them and rule their existence. Now we are no longer playing in the game of Hell but rather within the state of Love, and in this state only the best is sourced by the astral for it and the body form to experience. Remember, there is nothing to learn, there is only to be what you are, which is the Source of Love. Persevere. Remain in the state of wanting nothing so that the stillness and Love may engulf you. Now you want nothing, yet you have everything.
  25. If you want something, then someone is holding a carrot at the end of a stick in front of you – they are in a position to play with you. So you don’t go without, you go within, because going without you enter a Game controlled by those you cannot see, and how do you fight or stop something you are not aware of? To be one with the Infinite and the strand within, one has to merely be, but this goes against the grain of everything we have been conditioned to believe through our quest to survive. To be is to be one with the God-force within, and to do is an expression of this God-force. So when you and Steven naturally are, you are this natural state within which expresses itself without in terms of who and what you have become. How does one be and do; how does one do the complete opposite to all that we have known for as long as we can remember? What is this natural state/cycle that we have forgotten? As has been said, never want for anything. The strand/God-force within will look after you – there is no need for you to interfere. By not wanting, you automatically stop thinking, and this detaches you from the Game. Now you are plugged into the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness rather than the system of Life. (Understand that to be plugged into Life and to get what you want when you want is a fool’s paradise. This indulging and having excess is not pleasant within a very short period of time, because one soon discovers that one has nothing, as what you have is fleeting. If you think money is not important, then speak to the poor and they will tell you a story which goes something like this: “Without money one can do nothing in this reality.” That story is true, and the strand within knows that. But having money without understanding still leaves you within a cruel Game played by unpleasant entities. Money gives you options, which is wonderful, but we have to look further than the needs and wants of the flesh.) Understand that Life goes on, and so do you, but detach from the flow and make it your own. I will still have to drop my kids off at school and earn a living, but do these tasks with you being in control of your existence rather than the system of Life. Take a massive leap of faith and stop wanting so that you may be and do. This stops you from thinking, which center’s your existence around the strand within. Now you begin to play Life rather than Life that plays you. By wanting we feel safe – wanting is a form of control we have over Life. We want it, because by having it we may be in control. Want nothing, and then take this leap of faith into waters that have not been chartered for a long time. Hold onto this state of wanting nothing and make it your own. Have fun with this new game of you just being you.
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