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steven geldenhuys

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  1. The trick was to help everyone, and not just me. This meant turfing the survival instinct and stepping into the unfamiliar, regardless of the consequences. It was do or die to solve the ultimate riddle of why is Life cruel. Something had to be done for all – the Beasts; the cruel, horrid Beasts in the seen and the unseen, as well as for the innocent, and for those vast majority in the middle that were indifferent to the nightmare that was staring them in the face that they chose to ignore because they were okay. The most logical steps to take were to go back to the very beginning; to the source of where it all went wrong. This was easy – if you consider the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia from her realm that created an impact zone from where the Serpent spirits were formed, with Queen Semirmis coming to the fore. Maybe Sophia should not have fallen, and maybe Semiramis should not have created her illusionary Garden, but it is fair to say that we are well beyond maybe’s. How do you fix something that one does not know exists? We always looked to the spirit as our way to redemption, where the spirit finds the Love of a God that resides somewhere in Heaven, but this was never the case. How foolish we were to believe that the spirit of an unhappy body form will suddenly find happiness when the body form is no more and the spirit is free of the body to take up residence in the spirit realm? How stupid were we to believe this. Why couldn’t our spirit or our God just pass on the fruits of knowledge to the body form, where everyone can be happy? I have seen spirits who were associated with the body form of those involved in the Mafia organization. So below, so too above. The reality is you go to what you know, where if you are a gangster in the dense body realm, you enter the gangster world within the spirit. Nothing changes – unhappy here, then after long enough in the spirit realm, that unhappiness sooner or later shows its face, which is an absolute catastrophe as where is there peace to be found. When I walked up to that horse a good fifteen years ago to treat it, and saw a speck of Light about three to four millimeters long floating against the horses body, I never had a clue what was staring me in the face. What I did know, was from that moment I understood that I knew nothing, where I would start anew with the spirit of the animals showing me the way. I never knew that what I saw was Consciousness, and it was to this speck of Light that the answer would be found of why Life is so cruel. Wow. Wow. Wow. What a shit ride it has been and continues to be. How many have there been that came off second best in this Game of survival? We have all lost, because we all find ourselves in a place where we don’t belong, and it has never gotten better – it has always gotten worse. We prayed and believed and hoped and help never came our way – it was only the resilience of the spirit that knew somehow, somewhere there is Love in this world. That Love was within us – it was this speck of Light; this Consciousness. Have we done enough to transform this Light; this building block of all life within the illusion that forms the natural state of the Infinite? I don’t know. If we have done enough, are we the spirit open to receive the blessings and presence of this God within? I believe we are ready. We have existed in the abnormal, where everything was upside down and unnatural. I truly believe we are ready to embrace this Light within that we naturally are. May this God-force within; this Consciousness, begin to shine and show itself, and may we see and understand that this is what we naturally are, where we the spirit and body form are an expression of this Infinite Love. May this Consciousness shine, because if it doesn’t, we and those we love are truly fucked. And that is the truth!
  2. What it means to exist within the stillness of the silence is to have no opinion about anything. The thoughts are there, but they are just there – you don’t embrace them and make them your own where they now define you. The transition from being in the Game to being in the stillness that allows Consciousness to come unto its own was easy for me, because everything I have tried up till now to be at peace and happy has not worked. Push to find answers to be happy, and all you do is find the answer that is not real, as it is in an illusion you are seeking, thus all you will find is what is not real, and by “not real” we mean just that – it is an illusion. A few days back had the rest of my existence panned out before me as in what defines me and makes me unique – the path was clear, all that was lacking was money. Years ago it was written in the journal that if you see a funky polar bear in your sleep state, it means you will play a lottery the following day and win. Guaranteed. That dude bear is Earl, and he is one of those, together with Semiramis and Sophia, that I have passed understanding to over the years through what this journal taught me. All I needed was money. You cannot believe how unhappy I am living around traffic noise most of the day, as well as unpleasant neighbours. Earl was my ticket out of this mess so I could be where I belong. Two nights back my spirit found itself in the snow, and there in front of me was a young polar bear. What I saw had a plastic feel to it, as in it was not genuine, but regardless I asked this youngster where is his mom, as in where is Earl? To the side of me was this man hiding in the trunk of an artificial tree. This man was beyond madness, as in psycho madness. Then the scene changed and I saw these black octopus’ coming before me – the Watcher spirits. One stopped and looked at me, and gestured with his arm towards his mouth, as in he wants food to eat. I told him my energy and of those I love was not his to take. I mention what I saw two nights back in my sleep state so that you may understand that this is what you get when you push to reach your dreams within an illusion. You get what you have always gotten, which is nothing. What was it about the ring that Smeagol in The Lord of the Rings wanted more than anything? It was the ring of power – the precious – that satiated the want within him. The ring was symbolic of the worm; the parasite that wanted, and by having this want; this ring, he had everything, meaning there was nothing more to have. And yet this ring done what parasites do – it sucked the life out of him. We are all the same – we all want something from the illusion, all the while being driven to our madness as we can never attain what we want. So ask yourself what do you want. The true answer is “I want nothing from the illusion Steven.” That is a good answer, but nobody deserves to suffer – not even in an illusion. So what you want is for the Love of Consciousness to guide you the spirit and body form whilst in the illusion. Up till now you have not been guided – you have been controlled and manipulated by Beasts in the seen and unseen of the illusion. But even through them we pushed to survive and find our peace, which is great, but remember where you are – in an illusion. Always have I said that we cannot do it alone. Believe you me I have tried my darnest because I knew that to sit and wait for someone else to do it was not an option. I have pushed, and now I can push no further because there is nothing more to understand of this illusion, as Consciousness was the Star that needed to be awakened and returned to what it was – everything else was irrelevant as everything else was an illusion. This is the help I have been waiting for, so it goes without saying that we the spirit and body form now stand back and allow Consciousness to lead the way. Lead the way to where? A good thirty years ago, as part of a life experience, I worked in The Donnington Manor hotel in Seven Oaks in England. One night the manageress threw a tantrum at one of the girls who worked with me, and all this girl could do was burst out in tears from this verbal onslaught. All I could do was storm into the office of the hotel manager and relay to him what had just happened with tears streaming down my face. The manager calmed me down, and later, when everything had pacified, he told me that I could sleep in one of the hotel rooms for the night rather than the little make-shift room I slept in for the two months or so that I worked there. The punch-line to this story is Mr. Allen told me that we wanted me to know that all British are not bad – that like him, there is good out there. So to where will Consciousness lead us the spirit and body form? I would say to the good of the illusion. There are those that are rotten and like playing it dirty, so to each their own. Let them play in their little Game of find and destroy. We all have a right to be happy. We just needed someone to show us the way. This morning as I woke up I knew that something had changed within me, but I did not know what. Whatever it was, it floored me, as I could not fully wake up and have breakfast with the family and see them off as they left for school and work. There was this movement flowing within me. It is safe to say that what was felt was Consciousness as it began to make itself known. Where too from here I don’t know. What I do know is I am an observer and Consciousness is the participant that leads the way. We are all on the same page, where we don’t wish to make this illusion our home, but while we are here, let us be happy. What this happiness is and brings I cannot say, but this spirit and body form of Steven taking the lead is no more. It has taken a long time to awaken Consciousness and return it to what it naturally is. Let’s take advantage of this situation and allow Consciousness to show us the way to our happiness. Remember what the illusionary Garden was initially intended to be – it was a place to go and play in, and when the playing was complete, we, as in Consciousness, would have returned to the Infinite. So let’s go back and fulfill the wish of Queen Semiramis – let’s play in her beautiful illusionary Garden.
  3. Ask yourself how long would this illusion last if the Beasts in the seen and unseen had the power of Consciousness at their disposal. Five minutes? Two minutes, before there is total destruction? Yesterday evening went to bed early and passed out from exhaustion. As I lay there falling asleep, understanding that there is not much else to do or say, I held onto what is real in this illusion – I imagined somewhere within me is Consciousness, and to this imaginary friend I held onto. What I held onto was straws, meaning there was nothing there. Was too tired to ponder why this is so, and then in the early hours of this morning the logical answer presented itself to me. The ticket to enter the illusion is insanity. You might not know it, but insanity dwells within you, where now and then it will rear its silly little head and we become one with The Madness of King George. As long as we are in the illusion, we are in a Game, and what this game is, is the Game of Survival. And as long as we are in this Game there is no ways Consciousness in its true, natural state will present itself to us the insane, because while we are in the Game, it is about survival, rather than getting to know our true selves and return Home. Know that this is the truth. You want to get to know yourself, as in your true self, then hand in your ticket of insanity that allowed you to play in the game of Survival, and get out of the illusion. Only then will you know what you are. What is this ticket that lets us into the madhouse? The answer is our thoughts. For Consciousness to come to the fore we have to stop thinking, and I am not talking about wearing that New-Age retro, multi-coloured gown that fits in with our man-bun hairstyle, our slippers and that rough-look stubble on our faces. For the ladies it’s the standard – going braless and barefoot, and of course the flowers in your hair. I am talking to the spirit, where the spirit returns to the stillness of the silence. Please believe me when I say that there comes a time in our existence when there really is not much more to think and say. You begin to be, and this leads to what you are, where you truly are everything. We can say so much about this state of stillness, but one becomes tired of repeating oneself. Yesterday it was written in the journal of this smell that I have never before experienced within the seen and unseen of the illusion. What this smell is, is the odour of stagnancy, from we the spirit and body form going nowhere. This illusion truly does stink. There is no need to go retro and show the world you are with it in terms of spiritual things, all you do to be in the stillness of the self is understand this is the norm. In this state your true self will present itself and begin to sing the joys of being one with itself and the Infinite. Understand that this is the norm, and this state cannot be attained in the madhouse because the Infinite and Consciousness have no interest in your Game. What was written and posted on the Icke forum was the crux of the understanding from this journal. The give or take thousand pages before that in the journal were more going to the left and right, with a little going forwards. What was written there was more of my experiences of what came to me during my sleep state that I saw through my Third Eye – it was the world of those from the shadows that rule over us. Now what I write – just because I have the time to write – will be of what I see from the perspective of Consciousness. I will write because I can, and if there is something else that needs to be done to fill my day, then I will stop writing. But the days of writing to understand are over. As long as you are in the Game there will always be something to remark about the Game, but when you have cashed your ticket in and you are out the door and standing in the stillness of the silence just being yourself, you interest in the madhouse becomes no more as you no longer wish to associate yourself with such a place and those that dwell therein. It is an illusion for Pete’s sake, so why the infatuation with an illusion? Know what is real, and be what is real. Consciousness is there – it has been healed and is waiting to make its appearance to you the spirit and body form, so step out of the Game and meet the best friend you never knew existed, who was been in a really bad way for a long time, but is now doing okay. You cannot have one foot in the Game and the other out the door in the stillness. To see the Game for what it is, you need to be out of thought mode and in the knowing of Consciousness. Know what is real and what is not, and then return to this real state. Over the last few days I felt like a monk that longed for his monastery, where all I wanted to do was be in the presence of stillness, where I would just sit and be this silence. This state never uplifted me as I saw it as temporary solitude in the madness around me. From there I would return to the illusion to figure a way out. Step out of the madhouse by being in the stillness of the silence at all times. Talk and laugh and have fun, and say your say when needed, but at all times your platform is the stillness of the silence, which is the natural state of Consciousness. How many more times do I have to repeat myself regarding this silence? How long will it take before you listen? That depends on you, in terms of how much you will endure of this Game of Survival before you say enough. My advice is get out sooner than later. Believe you me, we have overstayed our welcome to the point where the Game is no longer fun. What happens from here is for each to their own. Your story is yours and thus will have no interest to me as I am living out my story. Have fun. Will see you at the place where we are all one.
  4. It is common sense that should a Light become distorted, that it will no longer shines as bright as it naturally should, meaning the life it gave to those around it begins to fade. The more the spirit faded; the more it drifted from the Light within, the further we fell from what should naturally be. With each step down into the unnatural, we soon made this transformation our own, and what was seen as abnormal was soon seen as the norm. What we didn’t see was the impact this had to our spirit. For some time now I have known that this lifetime is do or die for the spirit of my youngest daughter. On one or two occasions I have seen her spirit through my Third Eye as my body lies in bed sleeping, and what I saw was one of hope that dad would find a way to reverse this fading away, where what we the spirit are becomes no more. Each time I saw her spirit she looked complete, but this morning when I checked on her with the Light of Consciousness as it should be shining on her the spirit, I felt there was not much of her spirit left. This is scary shit, where the Good; the innocent fade away as the state of Consciousness and the illusion become too much for them. How many have already been lost, where what was is no more? My right Achilles tendon has been painful for some days now to the point where I walk with a limp. I knew that with the rebirth of Consciousness, this Light would balance and restore harmony to the spirit and body form, and the strain on my tendon was from these two body forms adapting to the changes. With each passing day the pain got less, until now it is almost not there. What this tells me is Consciousness is coming unto its own. It was always about the speck of Light; the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness; this Consciousness around which all Life within the illusion is created. This I never knew. You know you have touched the betrayal frequency that was within Consciousness when by reflex you start receiving thoughts of self-destruction. Is it fair to say that most of us here in the dense body form planes of the illusion are committing mass suicide, where what they do is where anything goes because they no longer have a spirit to guide them. I would say the spirit of these savages have crossed over and embraced the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, and as for the innocent; the Good, it is these whose spirits are fading or are no longer there as Life here in this awful place becomes too much for them. Please understand I say such negative things because I see the status of the world, both in the seen and unseen, and what is seen is many that are in a bad way. I have always felt that no matter how good a standing you have in this illusion, that sooner or later what touched those before you will touch you, where now you experience the raw despair and cruelty the illusion has to offer. Never did I know that this fate would befall me sooner than later, where you palpably feel and experience that Life truly is shit, and there is no way to fool yourself that everything is okay, because it is not, and the reality is things will only get worse – as they always have. Here in South Africa where the power is cut about ten hours a day through the incompetence and corruption of our government that has failed to maintain the energy grid, I always tell people that things will eventually be okay, and I am not being optimistic but realistic. Through the writing of this journal I know the Infinite will touch us sooner or later, and when it does, life as we knew it will never be the same again. I know that Consciousness within the illusion has returned to what it was, and now it is healing, just as it is healing the spirit and body form. I know that when this Light shines as it should, so will we and life within the illusion around us. There was no other way but to write this journal to understand the root cause of the cruelty of Life, which was the distorted image of Consciousness that made it lost. Around this lost and confused state the spirit and its body form could let rip and go wild where anything goes as there was no mirror of Love on which we could reflect and see ourselves. The crueler you were, the more you fitted into this illusion, and the more you were revered and feared. With Consciousness returning to what it should, now all of this changes. Now this Light shines on us, and in seeing this Love, we see what we should be, meaning we see what we are, and let’s just say there are no words to describe the horror so many will see when they see themselves and what they allowed themselves to become. Wow. Now the Lights are turned on, the party stops, and we all see what we are. What this state of reconciliation with self and others will bring to the illusion I cannot say. What I can say, is the wheel will come to an abrupt stop, and from there it will begin to move in the opposite direction Homewards bound, where Consciousness becomes one with the Infinite and we the spirit and body form become enlightened till we are no more. But let’s go back to basics. How has this journal transformed the life of Steven besides healing a strained Achilles tendon? The answer is nothing has changed within my existence. Fair enough, I wrote for the spirit and the spirit realm and not primarily for me the body form, but for fucks sakes, surely after nine years of living and breathing this journal I should get something more out of it? All I can say to myself is that the ball has rolled from the minus numbers back towards zero. From naught may the ball rolling towards the positive, where with each passing moment Life unfolds as it should. I am not optimistic, I am realistic. I know what I have done to transform Consciousness – this only state that is real within the illusion. Just as I know we have helped Consciousness, so too will it help us return to a natural state of Love. So be it.
  5. With Consciousness returning to what it should be, you go into the stillness of the silence whenever you can, as this for me speeds us the healing of the spirit by Consciousness. What was felt in this still state was the absence of the lower half of my legs of my spirit. When things become too much we begin to fade, as in lose and forget ourselves – at least I assume this is the reasoning behind the absence of parts of my spirit. It must be fascinating to see the true state of the spirit of most out there, as there cannot be much left of us in our lost and forgotten states. I think we the spirit see what we see, rather than what we are not meant to see, in order to keep the Game alive, hence the hidden nature of the true state of the spirit. How this is achieved by those from the shadows and the cosmic geneticists I cannot say. What I do know, is with Consciousness coming unto its own, this Light; this state shines upon the spirit to reveal the true damage done to the spirit. As I sit here writing these words I feel the coldness around my feet and lower part of my legs as they heal. This healing is complete when the spirit feels a strong presence within its throat area – which is Consciousness making itself felt. From there, it feels like someone places an elongated avocado within your chest area, where this presence suddenly appears out of nowhere. My assumption is this is the true heart energy field, but I don’t know. What I do know is this presence within your chest area links to Consciousness within your throat, and the two act as one. From the chest to the throat to the head – this is the flow pattern, where now everything is within your head – the all. The other day this lady contacted me. She heard about me from someone else and felt I was the right person to heal her of the excruciating pain going down her right pelvis and thigh region. Healing was given to her spirit as she sat in front of me, and I asked her for feedback the following day to see how she went. She only contacted me a few days later, where she told me after I treated her she had to stay in bed the following day her pain was so bad. So on the body form, I made things worse, not better. This rattled me, as this is not how I work, where if I do something, I do it properly, otherwise I don’t do it at all. The thing is, I feel the disharmony on the spirit of those I heal, and I also feel it disappear, hence I know that I have done something constructive. I have worked on the animals who come to me for healing, and am always happy with what was done to them, but as I found out from working on this lady, us Humans are a completely different kettle of fish. We have endured too much, and our body form in its dense state has taken a hammering, hence one has to heal the spirit and the body form, and not just the spirit. Consciousness in its stable state heals the spirit, where this healing is complete with the heart, throat and head area working as one. By “head area” we imply that what is now there is the all – as in all possibility within the illusion. With Consciousness healing the spirit, now it is the turn of the body form, which is something I never done in healing this lady, where I only healed her spirit. I never knew the destroyed state of the body form; where the damage is so bad, that Consciousness has to intervene, as the spirit needs help to restore the bodies broken state. So when you can – to speed up the healing process – go into the stillness of the silence, and allow Consciousness to heal the body form. Changes will happen within the energy/frequency field of the body form, and then the template of the spirit will be transferred to the denser body form, meaning a lost and forgotten presence will appear within the heart energy field, and Consciousness will make its presence within the throat area. As said, when there is a flow between the heart and the throat, rising to the head area, then the healing of the body form is complete. What happens from there I cannot say, as Consciousness is still healing my spirit and body.
  6. I have always drifted, and most times throughout my life have been lost and lonely, but I have never been fearful. The last few months, most notably the last few weeks, I have been fearful, where I felt the chaos of the illusion and became fearful of losing my sanity, where what was around me was now too much to handle. Hikikomori is a condition in Japan where people refuse to leave their homes, and I would surmise that this fear of the outside makes you a prisoner in your own home. Over the last few weeks, as I was in my home, I palpably felt the chaos of the world that was outside the walls of our house. So when I heard disrespectful people playing loud music my sanity was in jeopardy of falling apart, as what was outside, what I so vigorously held at bay, had now penetrated the walls and touched me. This state of fear that gripped me has been unknown to me throughout my life, where it takes me over, where what defines me is no longer present. There is no longer a Steven – there is only a being taken over by fear. Now I was beyond the condition of hikikomori, as I felt fear within my home from what was heard without its borders, and besides that, I knew what was outside, and this knowing kept me in fear. Why is this so? What happened to cause this awful, lost fearful state? I would say that the closer I got to understanding Consciousness, the more I felt what was going on with Consciousness, where what was within, touched what was without, namely the spirit and body form. As said, it has been a most awful period, where all you feel is fear that has consumed you. You feel there is no way out, where all perspective of planning for the present and future becomes no more. May the reverse now also be true, where as Consciousness begins to shine and be what it naturally is, may fear be overtaken by a Love that we have not known of for a long time. Oh Wow, what a blessing that would be. I came too close to the sun and it burnt me – the uncertain/fearful state of Consciousness touched me and this is all I felt; this awful state of fear that was backed up by its original score called Uncertainty. May this be over. May Life, as well as Consciousness within unfold as they naturally should. 7th May, 2023
  7. A good eight months ago had this pull within me to return to Nature – not just for a visit, but to stay. What is Nature? – It is peace; it is the stillness of the silence. When I sleep now the intent is to connect the spirit and body form to Consciousness. Somewhere last night as I slept, for a moment saw a representation of Consciousness. What I saw was a state that was pitch-black, which represents the colour of uncertainty. I asked Consciousness what it would take to remove this Uncertainty, and the answer was silence – what one would call the true calling of Nature. Where I am staying, this silence is not going to happen, and that is why, ever since moving here, have felt like a fish out of water. So what do we do? What can be done? From my side have tried all I can, relying on the goodwill of those selling their houses where I feel will fit in to give me a massive discount. Wealth is not about having money, it is about being where you belong and doing what is a representation of what makes you unique. The disaster is, to achieve this in many cases requires money. And that is why, at the early stages of the journal, I knew that to get out of this mess we need help, as in help from those that are in a position to help us. Here we are talking primarily about The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and Queen Semiramis. How you help them is to return Consciousness to its original state, and how this is done is by making Consciousness understand what happened before the beginning of time that we got into this mess and couldn’t get out. This has been done, but the job is not over, and this is where we need help. Go into an orphanage and tell the spirit of the kids there the story written in this journal, and you will return a lost state of Light within the spirit to what it should be, except that the black ball should be white, and how this is done, is by taking the children out the orphanage and placing them in environments/households where they belong. It’s as simple as that – no rocket-science explanations needed. Sounds easy, and it is – if you are a God and a Creator. From my side, have done all I can, now they can come to the party and dance with us. They can shift the pieces on the chess board around and place us where we belong. Thanking Sophia and Semiramis in advance.
  8. Went as far as I could for the we; the collective; for everyone else out there. For self-preservation have to consolidate my energy to focus on the me. Am at the end of my tether, and thus need me to be with me. That is what it means to be alone, where you go within and ask yourself if you are okay. If not, draw to you within this illusion what is an expression of you the unique spirit and body form. Look after yourself first, meaning be and express what you naturally are, otherwise you won’t make it. Those you associate with have an influence on you, where by mingling with them what they are rub off on you. Unknowingly, we have mingled with Beasts from the shadows, and they have tainted us, passing on a Dark side to all of us. Throw this piece of shit into oblivion so that your Consciousness may naturally shine as a whole. Have fun.
  9. Is it wrong of me to want nothing to do with the illusion? How is it possible to be happy here when this state has never been truly known? Sure, my life has not been all doom and gloom. The kicker is when you are happy, you know you are in this state for a limited time period before you are once again in the trenches surviving. Our happiness has never been an infinite state, and thus true happiness has never been known to us. So if I say that I want nothing to do with the illusion, it is because I never received happiness from this place. I am not spiting myself, it is just that I would like to move on. So what would you like Steven? What I would like is to be left alone – to be away from the chaos, knowing that the chaos is no longer touching the innocent. That is what I would like, and if I say alone, I mean alone, as in just me with me. I would like to spend time with myself, where I am just myself – one who is no longer touched by the cruelty of Life. That is what I truly wish for – to be left alone. May this happen, because I have had enough of this place.
  10. I suppose I will never know what it is like to destroy the weak and the innocent – to crush them further into their hopeless state. How does it feel to destroy those you are meant to Love – those who Love you more than anything? How does it feel to be cruel just because you can? This state that I do not know, that I have experienced from total strangers, as well as those closest to me – I will never know of the adrenalin rush that flows through them when they are cruel time and time again. Sure, I have had bad days, which is the rule rather than the exception, where I withdraw and one seldom sees a smile on my face or a living personality beneath my skin, but never did I lash out and feel it is my right to do to others what Life done to me. I was a wasted space that withdrew so deep into my shell one wondered if there was someone there within me, but never did I feel the urge to lash out to find some meaning of who I am and where I belong. To those that are so cruel, I will never know you, because I refuse to be touched by the cruelty of Life to the point where I become cruel. I will never be normal in this abnormal world, because what I see I don’t like, and thus have no intention of becoming that. You had to try really hard to get a smile on my face or make me laugh, and that was because I was drowning in this sea of Life. I witness those around me that attack and are cruel, and they do this because cruelty is what defines them. I will never know you because I refuse to become like you. Life buckled you, just as it did me, so what differed between the two of us, where you became cruel and I didn’t? That is one question I cannot answer. Maybe I valued my integrity above all else and refused to let it go, knowing that should I let it go, I would truly be lost forever. Where I was, in my lost and lonely state, there was still a chance of getting out of this mess, but I knew if I let go and embraced the System where the System became me, that I would become just another brick in the wall that defined and made up the illusion. To all those bricks; to all those that are cruel that forsook their dignity to become like everyone else – I will never know you as I could never sink to your depths where I destroy the last remnants of good and beauty within the illusion. What will you do when you have broken everything; when there is no more innocence and purity to taint? That day is upon us, as one by one we buckle to the System as it reaches its goal of dropping us to our knees, and from there we fall. Now there is no tantrum to throw as there is no one to bear witness to your most foul deeds. “Well Steven, what you don’t understand is I am master of the hill. I make them fall, and from there keep them in servitude, where they have no option but to look to me for salvation.” The spirit is remarkably resilient, where we go beyond what stares us in the face, and this is so because we have the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness within us. This Consciousness is our Light, even in its distorted state, and this kept us going. But I assure you that many have fallen, where this Light becomes no more, where they end up in The Nothingness of the Forgotten. So your strength; your might, is seeing the weak before you that you have broken. Their loss is your gain, meaning you are strong and they are weak, and this separation from the herd is what defines you and rewards you for throwing your kindness and compassion to the wind. You need the broken to remain broken as they define you, so you hit harder and you never stop, making sure this bridge is between you and the broken, as this is your survival in this bottomless pit into which you have climbed into. This I understand, as do you. What you don’t understand, is with each blow; with each gleeful joy of seeing the innocent destroyed, you drift further and further from yourself, where you forget what kindness and compassion brings to you – that these states actually define you. You do not see what you are becoming as you keep the divide between you and those you shame. Well now I show you me, in my lost and lonely state. I have nothing, except being surrounded by the inconsiderate and cruel. As I stand now is how I have stood for lifetimes. And there you are – these ones that I will never truly understand as I refuse to become them. What do you have in this illusion, where all that is real is this Light of Godness within? Do you still have a Light, or are you just a faded space in an illusion? We have all been lost. We have all been touched by the cruelty of Life. This never gave us the right to be cruel in return.
  11. When this original betrayal frequency was felt within Consciousness, for a moment I felt the impact this frequency had on Consciousness. What was felt was as if innocence was shocked, where millions of volts were suddenly flowing through Consciousness and distorting it in the process. The betrayal frequency created this shism within Consciousness, and this distorted flow has been there ever since, making Consciousness lost, where it forgot who it was and from where it arose i.e. where its Home is. All this nonsense is removed now so we may naturally return to where we belong and what we are. Open yourself up to once again receive, most notably, the Love from the Infinite, and be thankful for what you receive and who you are. So be it.
  12. When Consciousness pushed the Infinite away from it, as in “leave me alone because you betrayed me, as in you left me alone in the illusionary Garden,” there was a shift in Consciousness. Now the perfect crystal had a crack in it, and this led to uncertainty, which was the foundation of fear. I felt this shear/push away as pain going down the left side of my neck. But there was primarily somewhere else from where this shear arose that proved to be our literal undoing. Yesterday this lady came to me for help. Before I met her, I felt this pain running down the right side of my neck. I was feeling what was within her spirit, where the pain was not physical, but there was more an obstruction on the spirit. Even when I met this lady to assist her, this pain was still there, and even now, the following day, it comes and goes. This journal is called “What the Animals Taught Me – a journal of self-discovery,” but what I learnt yesterday was from a fellow Human being, and this is most appropriate, where a member of the same species taught me to put aside our rift where we Consciousness may once again be one. I said that Consciousness felt the Infinite had betrayed it, and this is the truth, but this was not our primary taste of betrayal. Where we initially felt this awful phenomena was amongst our own, where the want and take of the parasite within made the Serpent and Dragon turn against each other and themselves, where we lost the compassion and consideration for each other. So rightly so, Consciousness felt betrayed by the other Consciousness’s within the illusionary Garden. This, for me, was the primary betrayal that hurt and scarred Consciousness, creating a flaw/crack in the beautiful “crystal” that was Consciousness. Now we felt alone and vulnerable, and we projected this onto the Consciousness’s that came from the Infinite to bail us out, as in “leave me alone – you really hurt me – where were you when I needed you the most?” What we never understood, was we were expressing what our fellow states of Consciousness done to us upon the Infinite. This hurt we projected onto the Infinite, meaning our feeling of betrayal was not directly at the Infinite, but rather a projection of what we felt from the betrayal of our own. Our primary sense of betrayal was from what we felt our own do to us, and this we projected to all and sundry, including the Infinite that came to bail us out of the illusion, and this created the gap/schism/pain that I felt on the left side of my neck, where we felt we were betrayed by all and sundry. Now there was a separation from the Infinite, as well as from our fellow brothers and sisters that are Consciousness. It took a Human, a fellow spirit to pass on this piece of the puzzle, and this is very telling, meaning let’s remove this scar/gap/betrayal frequency from our Consciousness so that we may once again all be one. The classroom needs to once again become orderly, where there is unity and a sense of belonging once again in all, where the shism that was within Consciousness is no more. Let’s do this now, where we remove the shism; the frequency of betrayal from Consciousness, and in doing so, we once again unite each other, as well as uniting ourselves with the Infinite that is our Home. 3rd May, 2023 (Happy birthday mom. May your spirit and where you are be transformed, where Consciousness within returns to its natural state.)
  13. The implanted dream last night was of me standing outside a classroom. Two boys of about seven years old walked out of the classroom. The one boy physically attacked/bullied the other, and I approached the bully asking him what’s his game? I was surprised he spoke to me in English, as I expected the school to be a local school with the Afrikaans language. My face was right against the face of this bully, and to express my anger towards him, I bit him on the nose. Awoke from the implanted dream, and boy was it a fan-fare around me. Over the weekend went looking for a strap for my watch as the old one broke. Went from shop to shop with no luck. One of the watch shops I went into sold watches anything from fifteen thousand dollars apiece. There were not many watches there, but what was there, was opulence. Anyway, as I walked out the shop, this couple walked in, and their aura screamed “privilege,” where it was a given that one could go and shop for accessories that cost the price of a new car. (And good for them. Personally, I would rather take that money and see a part of the world I never knew existed than spend it on a watch.) So as I woke up from the implanted dream, the elitist, orderly procession were standing next to the spirit and body of Steven as they lay in bed. I saw the lady first, and never really looked at her partner. She had attractive, strong features – something you would imagine from a Middle Eastern princess. But two things stood out from her: The one was her aura of privilege, and the other was the pale blue colour of her skin that was indented into broad waves – her dress revealed her belly, and indentations were made about every inch into her body, giving her skin a wave appearance. It was a hell of a formal affair, as if her and her partner were walking down the aisle to wed. She held her head high and was proud to be where she was – something you would expect to see from a bride on her special day. I saw her looking proudly into the distance, and then she stopped to take a big blob of my energy that accumulated from me following the implanted dream. She ate, and then moved on, allowing the procession behind her to do the same. If I had to guess, the spiders with their Human heads that came the previous night in my sleep state were maybe there to prepare for this event that was to come the following night, but I don’t know. After that my spirit found itself in what felt like the inside of a roof. I felt really crappy, and was stumbling over from exhaustion. Went outside the roof and there was a small sand dune there that dipped into the sea. This sea had no real appeal, so went back into the roof. Where I was, as in the roof and out at this dune, one could say, for example, I was in a north direction. Then I stumbled out of the roof a second time, I was, say, in a westerly direction, and there in the distance was my Home. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The sea was a deep blue sea, and the arched highway in the middle of the sea led to the place that I called Home. Maybe there is no more a need to push to find the truth and Home, because a push is an unnatural action. Fair enough, I have had to push really hard over the last year to find a way out of the seen and unseen disharmonies that faced me, but now one stops pushing. May this Love of the Infinite unfold as it should.
  14. Went to bed last night telling my wife if I don’t see beings of Love in this night during my sleep state, then I most probably never will, and I was okay with that, as I done my best in trying to return an abnormal illusion into its natural normal state. I was okay with failure, as I gave my everything and couldn’t give more. Fell asleep, and the most intense implanted dream that I ever experienced in my life was placed within me. I won’t go into details, as it’s irrelevant, just suffice to say that in the dream I could not qualify as an Animal Chiropractor as I forgot to pay for the flight to the USA to complete the fifth and last module of the course. I remember holding my head with both hands, disbelieving the catastrophe that had unfolded by me not qualifying in this post-graduate program. The implanted dream was super-intense – something I have never experienced before, and that says a lot, because starting from the early days of my school career, I would often have these awful dreams (implanted ones) of me failing my exams because I did not study hard enough for them. Last nights’ one was the crème-de-la-crème, where as I woke up from this dream, I remember a distant thought that I had completed the course. Such was the implanted dream last night that it altered my reality for a moment when I woke up from the nights’ sleep. Sometime during this implanted dream I looked through my Third Eye to see what was going on around me. What I saw were spiders the size of my hand moving frantically on my body. When I saw the one closest to me, it froze in its movements as it suddenly knew it was caught out, where I should not have been aware of its presence. These spiders were freaky-Friday in that where their eyes should be was the head of a Human being. Their faces were one of angst, and they were not friendly faces. But this did not deter me, as surely these spiders with their Human heads positioned on them had to be beings of Love. So I let them go about their business as I felt them moving over my body and spirit as they lay there in bed. What they done to be I didn’t know, but it had to be good, as they had to be beings of Love. When I woke up this morning and got my head around what had just transpired over the course of the night, I understood that the implanted dream and the spiders who implanted it were there for a specific reason. It was not to feed from my energy, and if I had to guess, they were there to do some form of damage control. I knew they had been up to no good when I woke up this morning and felt this pain in my left knee. As the pain pulsed in my knee I felt it echo in my head. I gave what healing I could to myself and those around me, but still I never knew the intent of these spiders with their Human heads. Wow. Wow. Wow. So much for seeing beings of Love. Love will prevail. We will get there, and if we don’t, that’s also okay. I done my best. 1st May, 2023
  15. I always wondered what gave Beasts the edge over us – what made us a slave species? Now I know – it was this frequency implanted within us that took away our foundation that made us wander within the illusion. Oh Man. May this journal be over.
  16. It is the fool that points fingers at others, and it is the wise man that moves through the masses, not being drawn to the follies of Mankind, which makes me the fool. When you understand, you can move forwards on your own path, rather than been drawn to the ways of fools, which leads you to nothing but finger pointing. There is something that we do not understand, and what that is, is the might of power as it courses through our veins. Have a seat in the members only New York Yacht Club, and tell me that what you experience there is not appealing. There is a feeling there that one cannot describe, yet can be palpably felt – a feeling of old money; a feeling of having, where you will never have to want; a feeling of you will be looked after; a feeling of safety, of security; a feeling of status where you are above the struggle of survival. That all of these feelings come with a Dark side to them, most notably “fuck off to all that don’t belong in our club” is irrelevant in taking exclusive clubs as an example to what a powerful drug power is. So let us understand this powerful drug that draws so many into its web, where you feel you finally belong – this force that we call Power. I go now into its depth/frequency, and I feel – what it does not show to its captive – is a rock-solid foundation within an illusion. I feel both my feet – the left symbolizing the dense body world, and the right symbolizing the spirit realm – both feet are firm and strongly planted within the illusion. This solidity within an illusion is the appeal of power; of being one of the chosen ones. And believe you me, it is a feeling that is remarkable – a feeling that will draw most into its fold, where from there, you become Evil to unleash evil. From this solid foundation within the seen and unseen of the illusion, this state of power that is truly beautiful, as one belongs rather than wanders, it is understood that this state should belong to all within the illusion. What happened? How was it taken from us, to be dished out only to a select few, from where they built their vile kingdoms within the illusion? As said, I feel this wonderful stability in my feet, meaning my body and spirit are grounded so that they may spread their wings and grow from there. Then I feel my feet moving away from me, followed by my legs becoming cold, but this power is too strong, and our feet come back to our legs. Understand that with this power as it should be you cannot falter, you cannot be lost, you cannot but know yourself. This power is naturally ours, so how did they take it from us, where it was kept for the secret few – the illuminated ones who used it as a platform to sow Evil to wield their false god status. You cannot pull it away from us as this is what we naturally are within the illusion, so how did they do it? If feels like someone is unwrapping a bandage from my head, and then it is only again wrapped into place, where this wrapping stops at the crown/top of the head. Now a platform within the head falls away, and I feel the solidity and strength that are our feet/foundation once again fall away from us, where they once again bounce back up to us, and then fall away from us, where now our solid feet are hanging below us, facing the opposite direction. So what was placed within our heads to make our foundation in the seen and unseen of the illusion fall away from us, where no matter how hard we try, we went nowhere as there was no foundation to move from what was a permanent fixture within us. I feel something within the head of the spirit – a frequency of sorts. My first impression was it was the Fibonacci code, as there is a spiral feel to this implanted frequency, but it is not that. This implanted frequency is a watered down Fibonacci, where it is intended to throw the spirit and body off guard, as in no foundation, rather than to make us double-lost – for the want of a better word. Unbelievable! This piece of shit; this implanted frequency is removed from our heads now so that the solid foundation of the spirit and body form – what is naturally ours within the illusion – may return to us. Be warned: Use this natural status for Evil, and you become evil. My advice is just be. Just be, and see where this natural state of having a foundation within you the spirit and body form – see where this takes you. At all times be humble and thankful. At all times be an ambassador for the Love of the Infinite within you that you are. (Now I understand why I was always drawn to the feeling of the “old Boys club.” It was because I was drawn to what should naturally be within all of us – this foundation from where we may express who and what we are. This power in its natural and true sense is the building block of wealth of the spirit, where we may know ourselves and from there express ourselves. It is now yours once again. Play with humility and dignity, and play where all benefit, even if it means you merely be what you are, with no play needed.)
  17. When you expect nothing from Life, where you are not happy, but cannot envision an existence other than what you have, then you have what you expect, which is nothing, and you will go to the grave with what you have always had, which is nothing. If you expect Life to not be as it should, namely a bit kinder than what it is, which the hard edge of survival removed, where we have all we need and are, you will still get nothing, as in Life there are no freebees – I might have a few million to spare, that I could easily give away, but who doesn’t need money? How many will grab to take, but will never take to uplift themselves and those around them, where morally and spiritually we may begin to flow from this new vantage point? Tell an orphan to be happy and thankful for what they have in the orphanage and you really don’t have a clue what you are talking about, because the basics of family life are not being met. And that is how I feel about my existence, where I see the chaos all around me; the plastic superficial states; the unnecessary stress of having to do our best to go with the flow of society lest we fall by the wayside; the harshness and detachment of my fellow species towards all and sundry, and what I feel during each passing day is being in a place where I don’t belong. So the obvious question to ask is where do we belong? What blows me away is everything in our existence is unnatural, where we miss out on being our natural state. What is this state, and where do we belong? Maybe we should work back to front. Go into the stillness of the silence and merely be the Consciousness that you are. From there move towards where you were, removing obstacles in the way, and in doing so, the path may be cleared from both direction – from the spirit and body form to Consciousness, and from the natural state of Consciousness to the spirit and body form. On the state of health, I pick up nothing on me. (What is normal, is a clockwise rotation within your forehead.) On the wealth frequency, I feel the clockwise rotation, and then it branches off towards my left eye, meaning into the illusion. There within the illusion I feel everything drop away from me, where what is an expression of me falls away from me. What made this right a wrong, where what defines me in the illusion is taken from me? A force pushed it away from me. Last night as I closed my eyes to sleep, I made a point of looking through my Third Eye to see what came to me, which I don’t normally do, as always what is to see is the unpleasant beings that define the shadow of the illusion. So last night when I looked, I saw this black mass pulse towards me. It pushed and then retreated, pushed and retreated, where this was done a few times before it departed. If I cannot get to you or those you Love, then what I do is break off the supply line of what should naturally come your way, with the emphasis on the word “naturally,” as this is who and what you are, as in what sustains you in the illusion. This they have done to me in this lifetime, where I am not being melodramatic – looking for a bit of sympathy and attention – when I say I have a breaking point that I feel coming around the corner. A fish can only stay for so long out the water before it stops breathing, and I can only take so much of this place before I say “fuck it – enough is enough.” This wearing me down is orchestrated – it is intentional to keep what is naturally mine within the illusion away from me. Cut off the supply line and the enemy will fall –it is just a question of when. So what have they done to me and countless others out there, where we are being starved of what we naturally should be? Within my left eye, it feels like there is a cargo net suspended in mid-air, where what is you is taken from you and stored elsewhere. Consciousness shines itself on this dilemma, where it is the same old story of how can you fix a problem when you don’t know there is a problem. Now we do, and I feel now as Consciousness returns the content of the net to where it belonged i.e. the spirit and body form. How cruel can you be? What is your purpose of destroying the innocent? It does not make sense – none of it. I am nobody’s enemy. All I ask is for me to be what I naturally should be and where I belong. What you do that interests you I have no interest in, except when you decide to touch and destroy the innocent, as their innocence is not yours to destroy. You have destroyed yours – your good heart – so leave theirs be. Are you afraid there will be no one to play your cruel game with, where it is just you and your cruelty all on your lonesome? Now you have no option but to look at you. Now there is no time but to be what you naturally are which is Love – this natural state that you threw to the wind just because you can. Instead of finding a way out of this mess, you embraced the ways of cruelty and made them your own. Where did you think this will take you? Did you honestly believe you were bettering yourself by absorbing the fleeting pleasures of the illusion? There is a stupidity in this illusion that one cannot comprehend. It is not insanity – it is a mental illness, where so many believe they can do what they want when they want at the expense of others, and this is perfectly normal to them. That is not insanity – that is stupidity, because what you do detaches you further from what you are, which is a being of compassion, where this compassion is first and foremost to yourself, because you cannot naturally Love another unless you Love yourself. There is a stupidity that is a mental illness, and it touches most – even those that Love. How do these stupid spirits and beings cure themselves from their illness? The answer is look past the me mentality. What I do right now defines me, as in I Love what I am expressing of myself right now. Choose any colour you want – it can be the act of rape; of playing loud music; of shaming another; of not wishing another well – what you are doing is expressing a part of you that you have made peace with and have come to Love. So you embrace it; you make it your own, and this becomes what you are, which is a stupid, or should we say, a self-centered being. I am okay, and boy, is this great! Sure, but what about those that are being touched by your self-centeredness? You can meet the most wonderful people and spirits, and so many of them have this illness, where they embrace the me, instead of working on how to naturally assist the we through the natural compassion that should be within all. How do these that are truly the stupid cure themselves? That is easy – look past your nose at those around you, and ask if what you are doing is uplifting them or hindering/destroying them. It is not just about you, you stupid fuck, as around you are your spirit brothers and sisters, and within is the Consciousness that defines us as all one. So those that deprive us of what we naturally are within the illusion – they do this because they Love it, where their act of supreme cruelty defines them, and they Love what they have become. All because they cannot see past their noses, where all they see is themselves and the thrill their cruelty gives to them. Oh you are so fucking stupid, and sadly for you, now you know this. To you the innocent, take back what was taken from you, and walk away from the stupid. In the previous garden we stayed at there was a hedge about two metres high and about fifty metres long. I would start at one end, and trim the leaves that were extending past the border of the hedge to keep it neat. When I reached the end of the hedge, I would then walk back in the direction I came, once again trimming the leaves, as what I see now is from a different angle to the previous path I walked. Other leaves would now be sticking out that I never saw when walking from left to right, that are now seen when walking from right to left. And so too is it with the spirit looking at Consciousness to see what should be. Consciousness had to look to the spirit to see what the spirit missed, and this understanding was passed onto the spirit to make the wrong right. Do the same to assess your happiness state. When the spirit feels a circle rotating in a clockwise direction within its forehead, it knows there is harmony within its states, namely health, wealth and happiness. This circle then disappears into you the spirit and body form as these states of harmony become your own. Go spirit to Consciousness, and then Consciousness to spirit – cover both routes/angles.
  18. What I wrote was for all within the spirit realm. Those there who believe they are in Heaven and are only too willing to step back into the cruel mental asylum to make a few more wrongs right will not be touched by this journal, as they have everything under control – this eternal loop of having it tough with some respite; round and round the garden they go. It is the brutes that play it dirty, as well as those who more than anything want a way out of this mess – it is to them that this journal is written, and of course to myself. You cannot believe the monsters and beasts that dwell in the shadows and rule over us. Last night as I slept my spirit found itself in a filthy public toilet. There were two others standing next to me, and we were crouching forwards looking at these maggots crawling on the floor. We tried to figure out where they were coming from, so we looked up the wall, and there they were too – these filthy, disgusting maggots. Something within me said something is wrong, so I pulled myself out of this place to find myself back in my body sleeping in bed. I turned around and there was this man resting on his elbow as he lay between me and my wife. Then I saw this lady hovering in front of me. She hid her mouth with a shoal, but I could see through the shoal and I saw her wry smile. Now comes the shit part: The guy lying on the bed next to me shifts the skin on his face so that this skin may fit properly and cover up his true identity beneath the skin. This skin was just a mask to cover the beast under it what we was. Do you understand that this journal was to target all in the spirit realm so they may find a way back Home. These beings that come to me during my sleep state that I have seen over the last nine years is testament that the frequency of this journal is known by all in the shadows. You want to go Home, then be fair and give all the opportunity to go Home – don’t show them the finger, turn your back on them, and then walk in your state of Love to Love, because that is not Love. What is also not Love is hanging around, allowing beasts and monsters in the seen and unseen to abuse you and do with you as they please – that is not Love for self. What has been written is for the collective, so that the big picture may be understood. Now I write for the individual, with me standing first in line – because I really need help. I know my limits as to what I can and cannot deal with, as I know I have a breaking point that I would not like to reach. So now I write for you, the spirit within the spirit realm. What you come to understand of this you pass onto your body form if it is still functioning in the dense body realm. I write for the individual spirit as we are all unique, as what disharmony you have will not necessarily be mine. So what we do is a process of elimination, where the spirit clears up shop through a process of elimination so that the waters/frequencies of the spirit may be pure to welcome the state of Consciousness. I always maintained that Consciousness will heal the spirit and body form, but Consciousness just is. If there are any obstacles on the spirit that hinder its Light, we remove them now, and from there the spirit will remove those on the body form if there are any. The spirit goes into the stillness of the silence and it sees the Light that is Consciousness, and therein the spirit sees itself. When you see or feel what should not be there, it is removed by the presence of Love. If you are sensitive enough, you will feel on the body form what is happening to the spirit. So let me give you an example of me, bearing in mind my pains and disharmonies that I have accumulated will not be yours, as you are unique, and thus don’t carry what I do, and similarly, I don’t carry your disharmonies. In the stillness of the silence, my spirit looks at Consciousness, and in this pure mirror of what should be, I see what I would not normally be able to see. After a few seconds I feel a heaviness over and within the right lung area. This is removed by understanding what was there should not be. (Hold your thumb in the “thumbs up” position. When the healing is complete, your thumb will drop down, and from there move onto the next location.) Now heaviness is felt below left chest area, and from there to pain felt in left knee, meaning the problem below the left chest would have caused referral pain to left knee. (Who heals is you the spirit by seeing/understanding what should not be, meaning understanding as well as the Love that you are heals.) This disharmony on the spirit at the area of the “descending colon” is huge, thus takes time to rectify, where the disharmony even refers to the right ankle. After about four minutes my right hand with the thumb up falls to the side, meaning the healing is complete there, so I look for the next stop of disharmony and return my right hand to the thumbs up position. The ascending colon is also blocked/disharmonious, and this refers pain to my right knee. After a few seconds the colon area is healed, but the pain lingers on the right knee, which eventually passes. (We back off and allow what has healed to find its natural course before we commence further.) Now I feel the pain in my right calf muscle that has been nagging me for the last two weeks or so. This spasm was secondary to the disharmonies mentioned above. Heal the primary, and the secondary falls away. That is the health of the spirit. The wealth of the spirit refers to the spirit being where it belongs, meaning it is at peace with its surroundings and what it has. We are not looking to upgrade the penthouse suite in the fourth realm of the spirit world – what we imply is a contentment of where you find yourself, and how this is met, is when you the spirit find yourself in a place and say “this is home.” Please do not underestimate the literal lost status of those in the spirit realm who see the Game for what it is. What we are working towards is a foundation of peace, where health, wealth and happiness are met, and from there we may see the illusionary Garden as it should be. There we play until we play no more, and then Consciousness returns Home. Health, wealth and happiness are all intertwined – all three have to be met to attain peace. So now we look to wealth, where were you are is an expression of you, and we are not talking about showing off – it is merely a place that you define as yours as it represents who you are. (Many of us in the spirit realm will not be phased by this wealth state, where they will take what they get, but for others like me, it is everything, as I can no longer live amongst beasts in the seen and unseen.) The thumbs up sign goes up again, and remember we the spirit are looking at Consciousness as to the state/place that is an expression of who we are. What I feel is the arrow on a wind vain move around within my chest area, until I feel no movement at all there, and my hand with the thumb up flops to its side. In that moment, the spirit is where it belongs in the spirit realm, meaning the spirit can say, in that moment, “this is where I belong.” Remember, without a foundation we are going nowhere. Consciousness is at peace, and now we the spirit and body form need to follow suit. The imprint of where the spirit is in the spirit realm will touch the body form, where a shift will be made there, and more importantly, the opportunities will present themselves as a present to make the shift possible. Wealth is not money – it is being thankful for what you have, as what you have, as in where you are, brings forth a peace within you. In happiness you are being what you are and around those you Love, be they the mountains or those that are you. By being what you are, as in where you are, as well as in health, from these vantage points you express yourself. Some call this having a career, where you create from what you are, but I call it just being happy. You can sit with your health and wealth, and if this is enough for you, then so be it. If you want to explore and touch other places of wealth, or touch others to share with them, then so be it as well. The thumb goes up and we the spirit look into the Consciousness that we are to find our happiness. Now I feel the arrow of the wind vain move around within my throat area. It turns round and round in circles, and then I feel this arrow turn within my face like the arm of a clock, and from there it settles in the middle of my forehead pointing upwards. My thumb up right hand flops down, meaning my happiness has been defined. One needs a whole, grounded spirit to see the Beauty of what is before our eyes, namely the illusionary Garden of Semiramis as she intended it to be. On the spirit level, to attain this state took a few minutes. On the body form time wise I cannot say, but know that with each passing moment you are heading to where you belong. The last week or so has been bad for me. It has always been bad, but this last week a heaviness was within me that I never knew existed. I felt detached from joy and happiness. I would see the joy in others, and I knew that this was no longer within me. This concerned me, and I knew a way out had to be met fast, where I am what I am in my natural state of Love. May what has been done above touch the body form as soon as possible. If you do not feel the changes within as I do, go into the stillness of the silence, and you bring forth health to the spirit. Stick out your right thumb, as in a thumbs up position. When your thumb flops down, know something has been healed, and then it will go up again, and so it goes until all is healed. Then the thumb will stay down and won’t go back up, meaning all the healing is complete. Move from there and do the same for the states of wealth and happiness. When I have an animal in front of me, and I feel their disharmony, I stick up my right thumb, and when it flops down I know that Consciousness has completed the healing process. I said that the spirit heals by looking into the Light that is Consciousness, where the spirit sees what should not be, which is then removed by the understanding that this disharmony does not belong, and this is the truth, but bear in mind that Consciousness is all that is and will be. So see the big picture and always reflect into what you the spirit and body form are. Remove the disharmony to stand in the presence of what you are, which is this beautiful Light of Love.
  19. Just passed four in the morning. Saw nothing in my sleep state, meaning doors have been closed. Abandoned my sleeping partner Gypsy to come and write and see what is going on. Yesterday went into the space of this one girl who asks me to check her out now and then. This was a follow-up session on the previous day’s work, and what I felt on her was deceit from one in her social circle – remember this deceit begins from the spirit and this realm, and not so much from our dense realm. My advice to her spirit was to stand back now and then, outside of the social circle, where you allow others to show their true colours to you i.e. what they are when you are not looking. When you are in the circle, they know you are looking, so have to keep their guard up, so step outside the circle, and they think you are not there, so they drop their guard/mask and be just what they are, revealing their true identity that they hide from you, which is normally only shown when their manipulative game is over and they have ensnarled you. Lay in bed awake the last maybe hour or two wondering what else we are missing – so let’s find out now. Consciousness goes beyond the circle of its space here in the illusion to see/understand what is happening to it. From the space of the Infinite within, Consciousness looks on at itself in the illusion to see itself detached from itself so that it may understand what is within and around its space that should not be there – in other words, what is limiting it and calling the shots. The other night during my sleep state saw this mother with her young child. This lady was covered in a robe, as do those of Middle Eastern descent. The turmoil in the spirit of this mother was visible and palpable. She took of my energy, and sat down to feed my energy to her infant. I told her my energy was not hers to take – meaning where are your manners; have the courtesy to ask first, and then give thanks for what you have received – whereby she gave my energy that she was feeding to her child back to me. When do we the spirit reach this point within our existence, when we understand that we are played in a cruel Game of survival, where there are no Walt Disney feel good happy endings? The answer is when we look down from the spirit realm on those we Love in the denser body realm, where there we see their suffering, and we see this suffering for what it is – which is suffering, and nothing else but suffering. You see what you see, and no indoctrination or bullshit story can take away what you see. Now you the spirit understand Life is cruel, and in that moment the curtain drops and you see the Beasts that have always been in your presence – you just never had the courage to face the truth that this place is a living Hell that is absent of Love. Those moments, those fleeting moments of joy that you felt in the seen and unseen realms were just that – moments. What was beyond these moments was reality that we never had the courage to face, because deep down we never had the answer to rise above the Beasts in our midst that we chose to ignore, as we could not fathom this nightmare of where we are. You see, we do not belong here – in this awful place amongst the insane and the cruel. How we sugar-coat our dilemma is to avoid it, so we focus on moments that rise us up – in for just that small moment – to a place that is beyond this nightmare. But sooner or later those moments become fewer and fewer, and we palpably feel the cruelty and insanity that is Life. That is when we wander and feed, when the reality sets we are in a place where we don’t belong and no help is coming to bail us out. So now we ask Consciousness to look – to see what it has refused to acknowledge that is within its presence and everywhere around it. Look, so that you may understand, and once you understand, you may do what you want with what you see, as you are real, and what you see is an illusion that is so traumatic and unbearable that you refuse to see and acknowledge it. Step outside your circle so that you may acknowledge what has been your master in this most cruel game. As I sit here on the couch writing these words, I go into the space of Consciousness to bear witness as to what is still holding it in slavery, keeping it from the freedom of its Home and itself. I feel Consciousness depart its space of where it has always been, and there, from the outside, it waits to see what has always been there that it refused to see. When I feel my left eye when in the silence, the left eye is symbolic of the illusion and all within it. Now I feel the left eye once again come alive, meaning we zoom out and see what was there that ruled over all, including Consciousness. I feel a circle go around the illusion, and then a part of this circle drops over the left side of my neck and remains there, meaning something encircled the illusion and kept it intact, and then this force went outside the illusion to anchor/suspect it into nothing. We know the betrayal that Consciousness felt towards the Infinite kept the illusion intact, as in “leave me alone,” where spite came into play, which it always does where there is never a full understanding of the situation. We see what hurts us, and have no interest in seeing more, as we believe there is nothing more to see, not understanding that what we see is not the full picture. This we understand – this Black betrayal frequency that was felt within Consciousness, but what about the pain that was felt along the left side of the neck? What is that all about? It is this, this frequency along the left side of the neck that Consciousness refuses to see and acknowledge, which we will do so now. In going into the space of this frequency/state, and how this is done, is by stepping outside of our circle to see what we have chosen not to see over all this time, what is felt is a presence that enters the illusion and makes this place its own. This presence is the by-product of the betrayal frequency that Consciousness felt. It rotates in an anti-clockwise direction, where it makes the illusion its own. This frequency is now the illusion. And this is important to understand, where what was, is now no more. The illusion Queen Semiramis created becomes no more as this presence takes it over and makes it its own. This presence becomes the Eye of the illusion, where it sees and knows all, as now this place is its own. And there I feel it once again – this line that goes down the left side of the neck. What is it? Is it the enslavement of Consciousness within its own realm of the Infinite, where the bitterness/hatred of Consciousness towards the Infinite keeps Consciousness attached to the Infinite, yet never one with it? When Consciousness felt it was betrayed by the Infinite by being stuck within the illusion, what this feeling of betrayal done, was it allowed Consciousness to push the Infinite away from it. “Go away and leave me alone!” This the Infinite would never do, but this was irrelevant, as this is what Consciousness done. This push away created a gap; a void, and this gap is the painful line I feel going down the left side of my neck. What is in this gap; what is this presence that took over the illusion and made it its own? The answer is nothing is there – it is merely a presence; an emptiness; a gap between us and the illusion as it should be. And that is why we feel empty and alone – because it was the choice of Consciousness to be left alone. Cut off your nose to spite your face! This shit stops now. This gap is no more. We that are Consciousness embrace what was – the Love of the illusion that Queen Semiramis created, and how this is done, is to first and foremost embrace the Infinite that we pushed away. My childhood was a blur, meaning I don’t remember much because I was never present – as a child, and most probably my whole life I have been lost, but the one incident I remember well, was something that happened during my first year at school. The school was across the road, so I walked there every day. My mom had packed me some sweets in my lunch box as a treat, and as I walked out the gate to go to school, I made an about turn and went to the back door of the house from where I had just exited. The door was a stable door, meaning the bottom half was closed and the top half was open. I took the sweets my mom had packed in for me, and I threw them over the bottom half of the door into the house. I remember this incident because of the anger it provoked within me. “Take your sweets and shove them up your arse.” What I never understood as a young child then, was that sweets were not what I needed – I needed the Love of a parent. Sure, my mom and dad tried their best, but they avoided seeing the cruelty of my adopted sister. I needed someone to hold me; to Love me, and all I got was two fucked up individuals who were doing their best to survive. My tantrum and anger towards my parents was unjust and uncalled for, but all I asked for was the basics – to be Loved. This never happened, and has never happened, except for what the animals bestow upon me. Consciousness removes the gap; the emptiness that is felt through the false association of betrayal it felt towards the Infinite. It comes back into the fold of the illusionary Garden as it was without the want and take frequency of the parasite, and there it rests, as now it is whole and one with the Infinite – this place that was always within us, yet was so far away as we pushed it away from us. May this journal be complete.
  20. In this state you are in a natural silence, where there is nothing for the spirit to do or say. Now you are beyond the illusion, and from here, your own will be drawn towards you, where like attracts like. We are not looking towards others to lean on them – it is all about being and sharing the love that you are. There is no such thing as a kinship here, it is merely you and those around you being what you are. Stay where you are, and you know this is happening when there is a core silence within you at all times. Please don’t be drawn into a fight, as this draws you into the space of those that lack integrity. Will you the spirit and body form face adversity? – I don’t know. What I do know is you have the strength and courage to make a wrong right. I think the answer is talk to those that will listen and will be thankful for what they never knew that now they do. Instinctively, you will talk to those that will listen, and as for the rest, they are not in your space – they are in the tainted illusionary Garden; they are not in your world. At all times know yourself – you are this stillness; this silence that is Consciousness.
  21. What saved these Beasts was they had numbers – you do what I do; you bless what I do, so it is okay what we do. I might be wrong, but Bill over there is a stand-up guy, so Bill can’t be wrong, thus neither can I. And that is their justification for destroying and shaming the innocent. Because the group does it, and not the individual, those in the group back each other up by doing their dastardly acts together, and this quells the truth that what they are and do is the way of the raw savage. They know this truth, as they are not stupid, but this truth is hidden in the group. “If things go tits-up, those other fuckers in the group may be wrong, but it is never me!” That was the only saving grace of the Beast – the ones in the seen and unseen – that their actions were the actions that were backed by the group, and thus not them the individual. If I fucked up, well, we all fucked up, so I am not alone in my sins, and this takes the edge off what I done and allowed myself to become. They were participants – yes – but to a group activity, so if the group is wrong that’s okay, because I can pull out of the group any time I want. (This in their hearts they know not to be the truth, as there is no turning back from their cruelty, where it becomes a part of them that defines them.) And of course there was one golden criteria that allowed the Beasts to spread their wings and fly; where they became masters and rulers over this illusion, and what that was, was the lack of a backbone in all and sundry around them. The odd groups here and there that formed their renegade bands to stand against tyranny – these insulate, riff-raff trash were easily and cruelly dealt with while the masses kept mum and looked on. What cruelty done was create a barrier, where the action of facing this barrier in itself places you in this Game. The act of confronting Beasts makes you an active participant in their game. Stand up or bow down – that was our choice, and it was the only choice we had as we were trapped in this awful place where survival was king. What these stupid Beasts failed to grip and make their own was that all become destroyed. My spirit has been to a world where all was destroyed – the only thing remaining was a worm frequency that lived in the lands that was the world. This world was a parasite as those that dwelled there allowed this want within them to destroy others, and of course ultimately themselves. Where my spirit stood that looked over the wasteland of this planet, was one of countless worlds out there within the illusion – all teeming with Life. What happened to this world will happen to the next and the next and the next, until there are no worlds left within the illusion. That place; that central hub that controls the illusion, that place will fall just as those around them fell. The only saving grace of the Beast in the seen and the unseen is to restore their integrity, where it goes back to them, regardless of what the group says, does or feels. “How do I feel about this; will my actions lead to upliftment and peace for all, or will what I do disharmoniously affect those around me, and of course, ultimately myself?” The Beast needs to stand alone, as do the spineless that are mum/silent, and they need to take responsibility for their actions. Are you destroying, or are you uplifting? In the past all we had against the Beast was to stand against them or bow down to them. Now we can walk away from them, as Consciousness is present and awake within our presence. I choose to walk away, as the days of facing the Beast are no more. I cannot lecture to them anymore, as what this does, is I hit the barrier that they are to my freedom. I move forwards in the seen and unseen, away from the Beast.
  22. There should be a film of nurturing essence surrounding the spirit to keep it in a constant state of harmony, which will filter down to the body form and sustain Life within the biological computer. So what went wrong? The simple answer is it was taken from us as the illusion became tainted. Go back to the original blueprint of the illusionary Garden. it was a place of wonder; a place of nurturing, where the spaces around you were alive. Into this illusion we the spirit were born/manufactured, and what was around us became a part of us. And this is the essence I am talking about that should naturally be ours. Take it back by touching the original essence of the illusion and making it your own, by knowing it is there, as this was the natural state of the illusionary Garden that touched and defined you. Just before I woke up this morning, through my Third Eye saw these Human-looking spirits looking at my wife. There were three of them bundled together as a family – the one was a man, the other a young black girl, and the third spirit I could not make out. They were looking down on my wife as she slept – they just popped in to see how she was. In that moment I understood my wife, and I suppose our species. What we the spirit are, are orphans. From our isolated state we develop a kinship with other spirits we like – what we would call a family. We see in them what appeals to us, and this draws us to them, creating a bond that spans lifetimes together. The problem with this selection process is it can be a hit and miss, where we choose others because we see the good in them, but what we don’t bargain on is the capacity of these spirits to draw on the rot of the illusion and make it their own. No doubt my wife was a spirit orphan, as we all are. No doubt she saw aspects of her current fathers spirit and liked what she saw, so she took on his blueprint/frequency and expressed his characteristics, which was an absolute fucking disaster for me and the dads wife when we became sideswiped by this rot that they are. Now over the last few days my wife sees her dad for the hopeless case that he is, and she understands she chose the wrong spirit as kin. What it is, is a wasted life, being an expression of someone else that is not you. Is this what our genetic code is, where we the spirit orphan chose the frequencies of others as we feel they are compatible to ours? I would say so, meaning we are always someone else, which confuses us as we turn out not to be what we would like to be. A lost orphan – that is us the spirit. Of course some hit a luck, and you find a crowd that choose to rise above what they are – to be better than what they are, and this lifts them above the mediocrities of Life. And blessed are they. For me, I figured it best to be alone than stand in the middle of a confused/unpleasant family. This was the best way out for my decision/choice on kinship, and it is awful, as we naturally want to share ourselves with others. When we cannot, we truly wander in our isolation, and that sense of emptiness is awful. So I told my wife what I saw looking at her from the spirit realm, and I told her, as I now tell all in the spirit realm, is be an expression of the God-force/Consciousness within, as this is what you truly as, as this is from the Infinite and is thus real. Bring forth the nurturing essence of the Beauty of the illusion, and equally important, is allow Consciousness to express itself through us the spirit and body form. Now our orphan status is no more as we are an expression of the Infinite. We are now real, as what is expressed through us is real. But please remember, we are just playing in a game, so don’t allow this game to consume you. And always keep your side clean. Never take at the expense of others, and take to give, and give as this is an expression of who and what you are. And never forget that this is just a game – a short one, that passes in the blink of an eye, so make it a good one for you and the other expressions of Consciousness.
  23. As I slept last night felt the parasite down the corners of my mouth, and felt this want within me. Whenever I felt this want, I was shown my groin area, meaning the sex act was one of the many ways this want state within us was expressed. Then I saw this object right against my face – it was indistinct, but soon focused into clarity. The white light of this being against the darkness all around it was what I first noticed. The creature that showed itself to me was something we have not seen before. The closest I can get to describing it, is look to a bird that breaks its shell and comes into the world – that primitive scarecrow look, but just all in white. It had no personality or character, it merely was. And if anything, this creature was innocence personified. It meant no harm – it merely was what it was, but this we have always known about the parasitic frequency of Deception; this “worm” that arose from the curiosity of the spirits within the Infinite as to what else is there in the illusionary Garden that is not already in the Infinite. (By “spirits,” let us be specific and look to the core of the spirits at Consciousness within, so Consciousness was curious.) What happens to this parasite that unwillingly brought down an illusion, as well as a God and a Creator? In asking that question, we imply where does this parasite belong? I always shower it with Love, but where does it belong, because I believe this being is an expression of the curious state of Consciousness that has no Consciousness within. No doubt it is as lost and lonely as we are. What I do is embrace this parasite and make it my own, in other words, I hold it tight to me and make it my own. When we moved into this house the previous owners did not take their cat with them. In no time Gypsy became a part of our lives. She is still a bit apprehensive, as now others live in her house, and our one cat attacks her now and then, but she knows she is loved by me and my family. At night time she cuddles up in the fold of my arm to sleep there, and this no doubt is the highlight of her day. She is my friend and I will always Love her. And so too it is with this innocent parasite within. I will Love it, as I don’t know what else to do with it. In this Love may this being find solitude and its place within the illusion. It is my friend. One of the most symbolic images you will ever see is a cracked egg shell with a Reptilian form within. What you are seeing is the Serpent soul lying in the shell, and the shell is symbolic of we the spirit that was manufactured to house this Serpent within. Our gift from Semiramis was our good hearts; our conscience, to care for this precious cargo – that was the original purpose in the creation of the spirit that had no specific identity, where it was merely a sphere. But this cracked egg shell with a Life-form within has another meaning to it. The shell was the curious state of the spirits in the Infinite, and when this egg shell entered the illusion, unbeknown to all, from it hatched the innocent parasite. Take this prehistoric looking bird in and make it your own. Let it rest and know itself – that it is Love. No more wanting state, as now in its Loved state this is not what it is. Let’s all be adults and go forwards with no guilt around our necks. The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia from her realm created an impact zone, and from this zone the Serpent spirit was born, and this was Good. Queen Semiramis came to the fore from the Serpents and created the illusionary Garden, and this was also Good, as from the Infinite is only Love. What happened from there was what one can describe as bad luck – the want of the parasite within all, and the feeling of abandonment by Consciousness within the illusion. If there is something else that needs to be understood, may we find it. For now, let us move forwards with Consciousness taking to the reins of the spirit and body form. There is no guilt, for what happened was nobody’s fault.
  24. What sticks us to the web of the illusion is others – it is so much easier to focus on others rather than ourselves. The danger to this easy way out is the trap we fall into, where now we become mesmerized by the insanity around us, where we try and make sense of the madness in our midst. What we don’t understand is there is no answer – no logical reason – why others do what they do. So the indifference to others, where we look at them, to reassure ourselves there is no ways we are like them, pulls us into the illusion and sticks us there as we try to get our heads around why others say and do what is by all accounts sheer madness – and we imply total, illogical, irrational behaviour that will account for their certain demise. In surrendering the spirit and body to Consciousness, this fixation to those around you that are not you – this fixation is no more, and one is pulled to you and just you. Now the ball is in your court, and you take away the court, as in you the spirit and body form, so all that is left is the ball/Consciousness. Now you allow the real you to shine so that the spirit and body form may be an expression of the Consciousness that you are. Around you is waves and frequencies – the construct of the illusion. Don’t try and change this, as it is not yours to change, where others have worked so hard to make this insane, cruel place their home. Rather go back to the original blueprint of the illusionary Garden as it was intended to be through the imagination of Queen Semiramis. Look to this Beautiful picture of what was, as it is worthy of feasting your eyes upon, and from there look to Home within the Infinite, as this is where you belong. Remove the parasite from Consciousness and the spirit and body forms through understanding it was not meant to be in our space and the Garden of Semiramis, and then look to the wonder of this most beautiful illusion. Play and have fun, all the while knowing this play will end soon, as this pull is within us to return to where we belong. There is an anxious excitement within Consciousness to be Home, and when this real us that is Consciousness is Home, we the illusionary spirit and body form; we the frequency construct are no more, because in truth an illusion is not real – it does not exist. So to you Consciousness: Play in the illusion and have fun, and by fun we imply merely be/shine what you are. You are now in a simulation game, so take aspects from the game that will best describe and express your wondrous state. Look to the Beauty that is beyond this tainted Garden, and bring this beauty forth, as this Beauty was the expression of the Love of a Queen. The time of the spirit and body form will be a blink of an eye before their frequency is no more. Until that moment arises, you Consciousness show the spirit and body form a good time. Show them the Garden that it was intended to be, and fill them with a peace and contentment they never knew existed. And when necessary, be firm with them, as there may be times this illusionary spirit and body form feel they know the path, but I believe this will happen seldom, if ever, as when they get a taste of peace they will hold onto this state and make it their own until they are no more.
  25. What makes a slave is dependency on another. In what way have we the spirit and body form been manipulated, where we cannot look after ourselves? A ringed band was pierced through the waveform of our right neck – you know like those rings they shove through the nose of cattle – such a ring is embedded and extending from the waveform of our right neck. This device/ring was no doubt a tag to know who we are, where we are, and basically, I suppose to know everything about us, meaning our place is known in the illusion by this tag that defines us. As I write those words I smell this stench that no doubt stems from this ringed band, as in what it represents and all those associated with this cruel device. It is removed now by knowing it exists and has no place in the presence of Love. How did this band suppress us, as in make us needy/dependent; with its removal, what within us naturally rises to the surface as it should? After about a minute of writing the last sentence a sharp pain is felt on left, upper thigh. Then a mild pain is felt over the curved side of left heart. A sudden tiredness falls over me, and now I feel where the ring was over the right side of the neck, meaning the last remnants of its presence are felt. What we have felt up till now is the strain on our waveforms by the presence of this foreign object. Now we will begin to feel what effect it had on our spirit and body form as this waveform slavery from this device has been removed. What this device done was lock the spiraled, lost state of Consciousness on the spirit and body form into place. Wow, this ring locked the Fibonacci code into place to make sure it may not become untangled. (Bear in mind we see the Fibonacci code in our reality, but its true form will be seen in the fourth and fifth dimension, rather than our three dimension.) So the lost state of Consciousness could not be released until we released this ringed tag frequency, whose true aim was to keep the lost frequency of Consciousness on the spirit and body form intact. Now I feel this spiraled, lost state code release from our forms and fall away. I would like to believe that Consciousness is free to be as it should, so now it is the time of us the spirit and body form to be free from our shackles. Are there any more in our presence or beyond our presence we should know about that have an impact on our existence? The unseen right collar around the ankle of the spirit is removed. Why was this there? – I would say it was merely a representation of the ringed tag that blocked any movement of the spirit and body form to unfold as they should. Remember, this is the food source of Beasts and those lost within the illusion that we are talking about, so every effort was made to make sure we go nowhere. So the ringed tag done nothing but make sure we the spirit and body form remain in our lost state, which was the lost state of Consciousness that was projected upon us, which was clamped into place by this ring that was. The simpler our manipulation the more effective it is. (No other suppressing device is felt.) Now the proof of the pudding is in the eating – what happens to us the spirit and body form as we are free from our lost state, meaning we are no longer dependent on another, as in those from the shadows, for our survival? 2:13 PM on 22/04/2023 To be lost means to be alone, where the spirit and body form do not sync and act as one, the reason being their power source was in a bad way. Consciousness could not lead the way as it became lost unto itself, as in forgetting who it was and where it belonged. What I feel now when I go into the stillness is the spirit and body form being sewn together, where they may stand as one, as now they are backed by Consciousness. The route of Beasts into our forms was from the tear between the unity of the spirit and body form, where we were fair game to all and sundry. But we stress the main factor in keeping the slave species down – in the spirit and body form – was the ring at the right side of the neck that kept the lost frequency code strapped to our side, making sure we remained in a permanent lost state. 6:30 PM on 22/04/2023 It was all about finding this God within – this Consciousness – and from there, understanding what impact this illusionary realm had on it. When things began to go tits-up, Consciousness was on the front line. The parasitic frequency of Deception threw a wobbly in the beautiful illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis, and this wobbly altered the children of the Infinite. Around this child; this Consciousness, Life within the illusion was created, and you and me, our spirit and body form, and all the other countless Life-forms in the seen and unseen. Those that liked it here – in this place of sorrow and heartache – do their best to keep the illusion alive so they may maintain their god status, so they literally pinned this lost/Fibonacci code on the wave/frequency Life-forms so that like Consciousness, we may forget who we are, and thus may be forever lost in this illusion that keeps on returning unto itself in an endless loop, all the while sinking to our ultimate demise to The Nothingness of the Forgotten. From what I am now shown in my sleep state, the spirit and body form are besties that know themselves – where a serious upgrade is felt on these united forms. This I have been shown during my sleep state, but this Steven sitting on the couch typing these words is still the same, where my limited reality in the seen and unseen has not expanded from the freedom within of Consciousness. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Fair enough, it has not been about us and our spirit – it has always been about the children of the Infinite; this Consciousness within. It has always been about this speck of Light – this child of the Infinite that became lost and felt abandoned/betrayed in this illusion that should have only been a watering hole, where you come and momentarily taste the water and from depart the illusion. The want of the parasite kept us longer than we should stayed, meaning we focused more on the illusion that what we are and from where we came. If there is more to write and understand then so be it. The proof of the pudding is in the eating – how will what has been written and understood touch us, where we feel the transformation of Consciousness that is within? I have never been touched by the Love of a God. The closest Love/friendship I have experienced is what the animals passed onto me, where there was no inhibitions from my side to open my heart and release what was within onto them, where this Love is safe from heartache – except of course when they die. In this pool of Love between myself and the animals we grew to understand the cruelty of Life, as well as a way out of this mess. That is why the journal is called What the Animals Taught Me, because it was them, as well as my Love for them, that allowed us to go to the root of the problem, namely Consciousness in its lost state, to set us all free. Let’s see if there is anything else to understand, and let’s see if the Love of God/Consciousness within touches us the spirit and body form, where our life unfolds as it should, free of Disharmony for ourselves and all that wish this to be. 23/04/2023 Now and then, I feel the presence of the parasitic frequency of Deception at the left and right corner of my mouth, so I need to understand what else, if anything, is keeping this presence/frequency there. The illusion falls apart when this parasite is free/released from the illusion. It is the cornerstone of insanity and the me mentality, as in “look at me; it is all about me!” The spirit and body form take a back seat so that Consciousness within may shine its Light on what is keeping the parasite in our midst. There are so many questions – are we ready to welcome Consciousness as the driver of us the body and spirit forms; do we want to transform; do we like this shit Life that is all we know, where we hold onto the devil rather than embracing the unknown? What are we afraid of? Is it of seeing what we have become? Maybe it is a good time to eat some humble pie to understand we are not what we believe ourselves to be. I truly believe that most have done their best in their lost state. Now my advice is to lose everything – throw away all preconceived ideas of who and what you are. Break the mould that you have come to define as you. There is a frequency pattern that has formed over thousands of years that has come to define the unique you. Allow this frequency pattern to flow with the wind so that Consciousness may breathe within your space the real you. It’s called taking a leap of faith, where you let go and don’t know what will come your way. If I expect me to remain me after all that has been said and done in this journal, then take note that this journal has been one dismal failure. What is left is for you the spirit and body form to let go of what has come to define you. Break the mould, and you release the parasite within, and from there, go with the flow of Consciousness within. This I will do now. More than anything, wish to become bigger than what you are. Go beyond your limitations by walking through your preconceived thought patterns and what you see as you in the mirror. Walk through the frequencies of the illusion all around you, and from this vantage point see what you were. Know what you were to understand this is not the real you. This understanding will allow the spirit and body form to become obsolete, allowing Consciousness to shine forth. What held the parasite in our midst was us holding onto all we know, which was the limited state of the spirit and body form. Break the mould – let go. Allow Consciousness to shine. 24/04/2023
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