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steven geldenhuys

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  1. So let me tell you of another of my encounters with those from the shadows during my sleep state. (Same shit, different characters.) The implanted dream was of me being around insane people – young and old alike. Their behaviour and mannerisms spelled one clear word – insane. I awoke from the dream to see the insane entities that implanted the dream. There were two of them – the one was over my wife, and the other was over me. We are more than just a food source – we are a sex tool as well. The sex acts are as, if not more important, for those from the shadows than us. And there I lay, watching these insane Beasts having a post dinner romp on us. Obviously there is something I have missed, and what I say below is my interpretation of my shortcomings. If you have a good heart, and you always do your best, and whenever possible, you keep your side clean, then when your body form dies your spirit departs to a less dense plane – what we would call “heaven.” I saw this place as I witnessed my mom crossing over to meet those waiting for her. What I saw was a place with no beginning and no ending. It was beautiful – larger than life. You stay here until you feel it is time to return to physical form to learn unfinished lessons and walk different paths with those you love. This is one aspect of the illusion, and just as you would not interact with unsavoury characters or be actively involved in illegal ventures in the seen realms, so too are we not aware of those in the unseen realms that kill and control those in the seen at will. If you are a shit in the seen realms, well guess what – you are a shit in the unseen realms as well. In no time you learn the ropes – you discover the Serpent soul within, and you walk the ethers with this abomination that is now cruelty personified. As in all realms, when there is a sniff of smoke, scum turns on scum, as how can you trust others when you do not have respect for yourself, let alone others? The Serpent soul then devours the spirit form, and as has been said, I have seen and encountered many of these potent, frightening Snakes that have devoured the spirit they inhabited and now roam the ethers looking for prey. (The logo of the car company Alfa Romeo depicts this Serpent soul devouring the Human spirit form.) My salvation was seeing, smelling and feeling these cruel Serpent souls, and then filling myself with the only pure Love I know – the Love of my dogs. Some Human spirits go solo, where they attack to kill alone. I have also encountered my fair share of these cosmic assassins, where I felt their death blows. If I never saw them, the attack on my spirit filters down to the physical body, and Steven suddenly develops some rare disease and is certified dead in no time. The “disease” came from the cosmic assassin. We are a food source to those that dwell in a dimension close to ours. We are a sex toy to those from the unseen. But the biggest joy we give to those from the shadows is their control over us, as in they can fuck us up and we are none the wiser. Imagine a little runt with such power over all and sundry in the seen realms. What a pity that none of these donkeys never read the fine print – they never cared to ask: “What’s the catch?” Well that’s easy – you fall into the Nothingness of the Forgotten where you forget yourself. This is the depths of the illusion, where you are not only lost – as you always have been – now you are forgotten. I have been to this place and seen these miserable fuckers there not remembering themselves. Now we get back to last night where these mad Hatters were playing with me and my wife on all fronts. I lay in bed and saw them, and I said to myself something like “I fill myself with the Love of all those I Love and all those who Love me.” When I said that, now the party was open – I felt more and more Beasts within and around me. And it was then that I understood what keeps the illusion intact – why we have never freed ourselves from our illusionary prison. The problem is Love. How do you define Love? This state means so much to so many. I can come home every night and give my wife a few smacks, because you know what – I really do Love her. I can reprimand my children and tell them to keep their chins high because you know what – I really do Love them. The sooner they wipe away those weak and pathetic tears they will understand I only want what is best for them. We do not know what Love is, and this is not even the problem with Love. The problem is that Love unites all of us, as we are all in this mess together. Ninety nine percent of our Love can be heartfelt and true, but that one percent destroys all, because Love is not meant to have two faces. You are the world to me, so it is my right to throw my tantrums on you. These cruel Beasts from the shadows Love us, and so it is their right to abuse us. So the eternal question of “What is Love?” is answered by saying that it is damn cruel. We hurt the ones closest to us; the ones we Love the most, and thus our Love is not a true Love, it is a twisted Love – meaning it hurts like hell. But we persevere, simply because that 99% that is joyous and pure is worth fighting for. Bad idea boys and girls. Take a step back and look where you are – we live in a flawed System, where no matter how hard we try, we just won’t get it right, and this is through no fault of ours. We invested in the wrong location. We should be playing in the Infinite, yet we are working to get things right within the illusion. Love is the glue that keeps us to the wheel as we drive over the cliff again and again and again. We don’t need help because we will persevere and we will eventually get it right. Wrong! If it was you and you alone, I would say “maybe,” but the Beasts that play and control us will keep us here because they Love us, thus it is their right to control and manipulate us. Why was there never any Divine Intervention? Maybe we were just too busy trying to get things right, or run away as far as possible from things that were wrong. We imagined that Love would conquer all – this was the answer to everlasting peace and joy, but guess what – we merely kept ourselves in close proximity to cruel Beasts. When the party began to rock around me last night in my sleep state as I surrounded myself with all those I Love and all those who Love me (which is every imaginable Beast within the illusion,) I understood that Love has always been seen as the antidote to Evil, but in reality they are the same, simple because we do not know what Love is. So I called on all those that walk the path with me in Oneness, and when I said that, these Monsters departed my space. I do not Love you, because Love is such a vague, twisted emotion and state. I would rather say that I only want the best for you, because you are something that words cannot describe. My youngest daughter wears glasses, and I know that she should not – there is something wrong with her eyesight that should not be; it is there from foul play. She is dependent on glasses to see properly, and I do not wish to heal her eyesight because I Love her, but rather because I know she is not what she should be. She is me, and I am here, just as you are me, and I am you. Oneness has no division or separation. In Love there are two; in Oneness we are all the same – we are One – and please understand that there is no Love involved. What is this Oneness that we are? Can we feel it, can we define it? Oneness is our connection to the Infinite – to what is real. You want to Love me while you destroy me – well thanks, but no thanks – I don’t like playing in your game because it hurts. Last night when I connected myself to those that walk the same path as me in Oneness as I felt all these Beasts within and around me, what I done was connect to like-minded individuals who understand that you are what you are and cannot be anything else, and you sure don’t need a state or emotion to define yourself. You merely are what you are through proximity of being where you are. Oneness means you are one with all around you. All benefit as all are what they naturally are. Can we define this? All I can say is that when I called on all who walk the same path as me in Oneness, what I felt was this awakening within my right big toe. This area is the source of the kundalini/Serpent force being illuminated, and the fine details of this phenomena I don’t understand. All that I know is that I want the best for you, and I want the best for me, as this is who and what we are. By being the “best,” we imply that there is no cruelty within your existence. You are merely what you are, as this is what you naturally are. Can this be defined so that we may embrace this Oneness that we are? I don’t know. How difficult can it be to be what we naturally are? I promise you one thing: I will find out.
  2. You become singular, as in oneness. This oneness superimposes the seen and unseen, so now everything within the illusion in the seen and unseen is oneness with you. Now you claim back control. Everything becomes the oneness that you are. Remember, you are not the spirit or body form – these are your vehicles to experience the illusion. There was once a saying: “If you don’t control your mind, someone else will.” Well, someone else will, and it will control every aspect of you, and that something else is the illusion. So when we say that everything within the illusion becomes the oneness that you are, we are not thinking big, we are merely being realistic. If you don’t control the illusion, the illusion controls you. What happens from this state of understanding I don’t know. What I do know is oneness wants to be where it belongs, which is within the fields of Infinite Love, as oneness is oneness and cannot be anything or anywhere else. Equate oneness to the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness. This is you, and you are everywhere and everything. You are merely shifting your awareness to what is real. Don’t think, just know and be. What this state of oneness is, is beyond euphoria as it superimposes everything within the illusion. From this perspective understand that oneness bypasses joy and bliss and happiness to go beyond euphoria until it is where it belongs. What this means in simple English is don’t fret because oneness only wants what is best for the spirit and body form and Serpent soul and all else within its path. You become everything, as everything is within you – this illusion is projected within and not without. As you are oneness, everything within you is also oneness. Now there is no real excuse for anything, as you are everything. Control what is within by being this stillness/silence/oneness/strand whenever you can. Remember, the spirit, the body form, the Serpent soul, and anything else within is this oneness – it is a package deal: All for one, and one for all. And from there, just be.
  3. It’s a bugger when you know nothing. When you sleep at night time, your memories are accessed, and from there a story is spun – what a person will call a dream. You are made to follow the dream/story, and by giving it attention/energy, we are an energy/food source to those that reside in a dimension close to ours. This is the truth. This is my first-hand accounts over the last seven years and eleven months of those that come to “play” with me in my sleep state. They feed from you as well, as I alone cannot supply the food to those in the dimension close to us that feed from us. Last night a dream was once again implanted. I awoke from the dream and saw this entity with its head in the space of my wife’s head. It was feeding from her energy. There was another doing the same to me. Fell asleep and another dream was implanted. What I saw when I awoke from the dream was a Human family that had crossed over, and were in my space to take of my energy for food. They compressed my energy and that of my wife into small squares. They felt the fool when they saw I could see them. It is truly a bugger when you know nothing. As I saw these entities feeding from me last night I thought to myself, after all has been seen and experienced in my sleep state, nothing has changed in my existence. Nothing, but nothing has transformed in the existence of this Steven. I lay in bed and I asked myself what I am – it always comes back to what we are; what is real. What is real within this illusion in which we are entrapped? Love is not real here in the illusion because I have tons and tons of Love inside of me, and this does not bring me peace or make me omnipotent. It always comes back to knowing what we are, or more importantly – what we are not. We are not this body; we are not the spirit, as they were manufactured within the illusion and thus are a part of the illusion, and this is why we are played with – what we are is part and parcel of the illusion. We are not the Serpent soul/kundalini force within, as this arose from the Serpent spirit. So what are we? What we are is what has to be real, and by this we mean what is real has to arise from the fields of Infinite Love, and this is real and not an illusion. Unless we know what we are we are staying where we are where idiots control us. When this family last night in my sleep state was eating from my energy I asked them “Have you never tried to better yourself – to rise above what you are doing so that you do not have to do it?” We accept too easily, which contributes to our certain demise. What we are is the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness within. Around this strand all Life was formed, and our mistake was accepting the label on the Life-form created and believing this is us. Throw away your identity as this is not you. Strip yourself bare until all that is left is the strand, and this is who you are. In our limited vision and understanding it is seen as a speck of light. This is what we are. My goodness. I don’t have another seven years and eleven months to carry on searching and writing. I would like to start living. All I ever wanted was to be what I am meant to – nothing more and nothing less. How much more needs to be said and done to achieve this natural state? I will define myself as this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness that arose from the Source of Infinite Love and will see what happens i.e. I will see myself from a different viewpoint. My disaster is that I see the unseen and understand for true transformation to occur, it begins in the unseen, and yet here I am living in the seen. That is why I have nothing – I work in the unseen but live in the seen. I am tired of this. May what is real touch the unseen and seen. I am tired of being played. What is real superimposes all else - the seen and unseen. May we start being real.
  4. To know what you are, you need to understand from where you came – that is the no-brainer that we have all missed. We the spirit and body form were born from the System – we were not born from a God of Love. This we have to understand. I have been to these laboratories within the ethers where Life is made. The Serpent soul was cloned/born from the Serpent spirit, and the Serpent spirit was “born/created” from the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, but let’s stick to basics and stay with the cloning of the Serpent soul from the Serpent spirit. At the beginning, when the Serpent soul was cloned, and we the spirit and body form were made, there was one element from which our beginnings were born, and that was Love. Of that I have no doubt. Those that created and cloned us done so with Love – we were their pet project and what they created was done through their Love. When I feel love towards another, especially towards the animals, it is this Love that I feel – this Love that was within those as they created us. Believe it or not, the System was pure – but it was not natural, and this unnatural state created a flaw; a crack within what was created. The Love that was within us from those that created us in a laboratory became twisted as we became flawed with the System. Things began to fall apart. Now love began to hurt as we began to betray each other. Now there was no going back as the ball began to gain momentum, and we forgot this Love from those that created us. Soon we became lost and confused, and the ones that got the brunt of our twisted love were the innocent that held onto their good hearts. Instead of uplifting; of making sure that we do not walk alone; of becoming companions rather than strangers, we looked at ourselves and what makes us happy, rather than extending a helping hand to those that had fallen by the wayside. This Love that was within and around us, by those that initially created us, began to be stripped from us by those around us, by Life, and by ourselves. Where we stand today is testament of this – where we have and are nothing. We cannot live beyond the four walls we have created for ourselves through our stripping away everything that was meaningful. Every day is a ground-dog day, as we go about seeing what the Haves’ have that we the Have-nots don’t have. Please understand that I am not being hard on you or myself. The System of Life failed and we got caught in its slipstream. The fault is not with us, but the System. Yes, we should have done this or said that, but our demise was inevitable as we never saw the big picture, and that picture was that we were created with Love in a System that was doomed to fail as we were not where we naturally should be, namely the fields of Infinite Love. Our confusion as the System fell further wedged us into the System. I have always asked why we were never helped? How could one who created us abandon us? How is it that we are being shamed and destroyed every way possible and no one comes to help us – even through a simple hug? The answer is that those that created us fell as we fell as the System fell. It’s as simple as that. There is a wake up, shake-up coming – I have no doubt about that. What is also plainly obvious is that the state we are all in is not a good place to meet this wave that is coming our way. We are on no foundation, so when the wave comes how long will it take for us to recover? We really don’t have the time or energy to be thrown around, hoping we will land on our feet. Find a quiet time, and go and lie down somewhere, and from there go back to the beginning when you were created. Take back everything that was stripped from you as the System began to fall apart, until you are left with what you were born with, namely this Love from the one that created you. When this journal began I was given a name one night in my sleep state that I could not shake off. The name was Haman. I came to understand that this was the first cosmic geneticist – the one that created us. You want to know your God, well now you do – it was Haman. This Love in us is the Love that was in him as he created us. I say these things now because we have been flying too high, talking about Infinite Love and where we belong. It is good to know these things, as this is where we belong and will be, but we have missed one key element, and that is we need to know ourselves. Go into contemplation within the silence, and claim back all you were that the System stripped from you, until you are what you were when Haman created you. Be who and what you were, and from there don’t fall. Understand the big picture; the Fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia; the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness within; the parasitic frequency of Deception within; the Serpent spirits and souls; the Dragon spirits and souls; the illusionary Garden of Semiramis; the fields of Infinite Love; the Source within the Infinite that is the Infinite from which all arose. When you remember what you are – what you were created to be – in that moment you were perfection, as you were born from the Love of the one that manufactured you. From there, every step and moment and breath was on a journey on a downhill battle, thanks to the proximity of being in an unnatural illusion. So go back to the beginning – to your initial conception in a cosmic laboratory, and from there remember the big picture. Now you no longer walk in the illusion; rather you walk in the fields of Infinite Love that are everywhere around and within you. The fields superimpose the illusion – they have always been there, we just never knew of this alternative. Now, in knowing who and what you are, and being this pure state, for the first time you have a choice: Walk into the demise of the flawed System, or walk into the fields of Infinite Love. You are in a position to make this choice as you know what you are – a creation of a cosmic geneticist who Loved you more than anything who never understood that Life is born and belongs within the fields of Infinite Love and not a laboratory.
  5. When we Fell from the Garden, as in a place we were familiar with, we Fell into a more dense plane of existence, and the defining trait within all was uncertainty. We were all uncertain – what was without, as in around us, but most importantly, what was within – namely the parasitic frequency of Deception that made us who we are not meant to be. Now fast-forward to the year 2021, and once again I am talking about where it matters, as in the less dense state of the unseen realms, as in the place where we go when we depart this physical body. When things began to go wrong in the illusionary Garden, as has been said, uncertainty was the defining and key state. Now, and I don’t know how long it has been there for, but the defining state within the unseen, and I will put my neck out and say it is in all the unseen realms, is “familiarity breeds contempt,” which is another way of saying that we lose respect for where we are – that Wow factor wears thin. In the unseen Life goes on. Believe it or not, there is the drug trade there. There is the farmer there. Things are not perfect there as we slot into our new purpose. (There is a well-known actor whose spirit moves effortlessly between this physical world and the unseen/spirit world. He is a cruel man, and I have seen him carry out his ways of cruelty in the unseen while he plays his acting career here on Earth. He understands that the one is merely a less dense state than the other and has thus embraced both states.) Somehow, somewhere, a part of us understands that we are not Home. Understand that the wool is knowingly pulled over our eyes, where exalted ones are con-artists who work for those from the shadows making us believe that this is all there is, but this deception is minimal, if not unheard of. You see, this place has to be home, otherwise what use was all the suffering we encountered in the seen/physical realms? We convince ourselves that this is all there is, and the reason for this is that there is no alternative. For me, anything is better than this dump of the physical/seen realms. It’s like you going to visit someone and you don’t have to make food – what they serve you is a treat, regardless of what it is, as you did not have to make it. Similarly, when we depart the physical body, we go to something different, and let’s be honest, it is a beautiful place, but it is not Home. We are still caught up within the illusion, albeit a less dense state of the illusion. The fields of Infinite Love are real – that is Home. What I am trying to say, is that there are problems in this false utopia in the unseen. What holds this place intact is religious beliefs. Now we are closer to our god, and this is Wow. As below, so too above. When are we going to meet this great one? Familiarity breeds contempt, as in we lose respect for the lie. I have seen and met Queen Semiramis. One night in my sleep state I was taken to her, and she showed me herself in a Human form. Looks wise, she was what I would call a stunner, and then as I went back to my body as it lay in bed, I saw her real form – half Dragon, half Serpent. Her presence is intoxicatingly Beautiful – you cannot help but bow down to her. Her power is something to behold – it is Beautiful beyond words. When you stop bowing, and lift your head up and look past your nose, you will see one that was the cruellest of the cruel. Same shit, different place – the seen and unseen. From seeing the unseen in my sleep state over the last few years, my new role as I lay in bed sleeping is an incubator. Uncertainty is a bastard, especially when you know of those from the shadows, because one can never drop your guard down. The reality is that we are trapped in an illusion where Beasts rule, and how one overcomes this is by understanding the big picture. I have not experienced these fields of Infinite, but I know they are there, just as I cannot define this Love that is me and you, yet I know this is who and what we are. Understanding the big picture removes the boundaries of the illusion, and this knowing of the fields – which are what is real – pushes the illusion further from us. What comes at night now, as with the Purple Wisps that came earlier on, are beings that plant the seeds of their offspring within the canal of the Serpent soul. They blow these “seeds” over my face for me to inhale them, and from there they settle to hatch within the canal. They know they are safe there, as the Game has been exposed, and the ways that always worked for control, as in stealth; the occult, cannot be played within this canal. I write what I see and experience. The reason for me writing now is to say that there will be a “wake up, shake-up” within the unseen realms to break this familiarity that breeds contempt. There will be a break in the old as the real reveals itself. This will be our final “Fall” as we begin the journey Home. The break in the ways of the unseen will be felt on the seen three days after it appeared in the unseen. What we are and what we have come to know as “all there is” will fall apart. The waves and frequencies that you see will begin to scatter and break as the fields of Infinite Love reveal themselves. This I have not seen or experienced, so one might say I have no authority to make such a prediction, but I say what I say because I see the contempt within the spiritual/unseen realms, and I know this will be no more – things cannot carry on the way they were because we have an understanding of the big picture. There will be a wake up, shake-up.
  6. IF I COULD GIVE YOU ANY GIFT, I’D GIVE YOU love AND laughter A PEACEFUL HEART, A SPECIAL DREAM AND JOY FOREVER AFTER.
  7. One must always carry on swimming – just because you can. Stand still and all you do is tread water; you never become better than what you were. But there comes a time when one stops swimming, as you cannot swim anymore. You are not tired – you just know that you have gone as far as you can go. You know you have done your best, not just for yourself, but for others as well. You know that you have reached the end line, and there is only one thing left to do, and that is receive. What we mean by this is now there is no need to swim, as now you cruise down the river. You are carried by the current, and this is not wishful thinking, as you have always known the current is there – you just wanted to see how far you got going solo. This is where I am now. No more searching; no more needing to know. Now we cruise on the current of Infinite Love. There is nothing more I can do or say to set us free. I know I have done enough. What was experienced last night in my sleep state is irrelevant. Those purple wisps were beings of Love. Just as I have seen our cage; our coop, so too will I see our fields of Infinite Love. 21/12/21 Will everything be okay? When you heal, you need to see the big picture – the seen and the unseen. From there, you need to understand the primary problem, and from there you need to understand the cause of the problem. Then you step back and do nothing, as something that is bigger than you heals, and I call this something Infinite Love. That is how I heal – through understanding. I have seen the big picture – the seen and unseen. The primary problem was that we became trapped in an illusion. The cause of the problem is the parasitic frequency of Deception. Now stand back and allow this something bigger than you; this Infinite Love to heal. Will everything be okay? You betcha! 22/12/21
  8. Understand that what I have seen over the last seven years in my sleep state has not been our spirit Guides, or some Native American Indian that has crossed the Great Divide to come and give me a message, or aunt May that has come to ask me if I miss the cookies she baked for me. What I see is real. What I see is the construct of the illusion. What I see is what happens to you and those you love as you go about Life, being content as long as the beers are cold and the specials at the sell-out sale put a smile on our face. How many of us have the courage to understand and know what we are, where we are, and what controls us from the shadows? I went to bed last night super-excited. At last I would see beings of Love. Knowing about the heart energy field, and how it was dismantled and hidden from us, and how this was restored was a breakthrough for me. I felt this new presence at the heart energy field and couldn’t wait to see what it revealed in my sleep state. For the first time, I pulled myself out of my sleep state, anxious to see the goings on in the unseen. In other words, I woke myself up – the spirit and Serpent soul were awake like little excited children that were woken up early to drive to vacation. The shaman of Carlos Castaneda says: “We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos and took over the rule of our lives. They took us over because we are food to them, and they squeeze us mercilessly because we are their sustenance. Just as we rear chickens in coops, the predators rear us in human coops, humaneros. Therefore, their food is always available to them.” They must have pinned me down and nailed me to the floor, because I needed every ounce of my might to wake up from my sleep state. I pulled myself up from a lying position, and what I saw was this Animal some distance from me. It was walking over others that were just like me – pinned down on the floor. As this Animal moved over each one on the floor it looked down at them, and when it was my turn for this Animal to be over me, I felt it draw my energy from my neck area. I had found myself in my humaneros – my human coop, and this Animal was feeding from me. Remember, what happens to me, happens to you. We are all trapped in a humaneros. We are food to Animals. From this humaneros I found myself back in bed. A dream was implanted, and I was so disappointed that we had not moved on from being manipulated in this way. I awoke from the implanted dream and saw these entities around my wife. They were all focused around her head. They saw that I could see them, and one of them flew over to me to get a closer look at me. Take a piece of wire and bend it into a life-size form of a human shape. Now fill the shape of the wire structure with purple colour, then make the wire life-like and pliable, and this is what these entities looked like. They looked like purple wisps floating/flying around me. I lay in bed and was beyond myself. It does not help to get angry or frustrated, but what would be helpful is to know when this shit is going to end. Come on man! When is enough enough? I turned on my side to go to sleep again, as what more was there to do. When I saw these entities around me, I spent a few minutes looking at them, and now and then I would flick them in the face with my finger so that they may know what I think of them. While they were around me, I felt these spasmic contractions just to the right and below my belly-button. Something was in my abdomen over this area that was about the size of my fist. When I turned on my side to sleep I felt another contraction there, and I thought to myself, “hold on, what is going on there?” I turned to lie on my back to focus on what was happening to me, and then these contractions of this fist sized structure within me got more frequent. Within the illusion nothing is solid – think waves and frequencies and you understand that there is more to us than meets the eye. Between our legs, at the area behind our reproductive structures lies a canal within the waves and frequencies that make up us the spirit and body form. This canal extends from here all the way up to our heads. This is the cave of the Serpent soul/kundalini force within us. This canal, and this frequency snake is in all of us. If you are kind, your snake is Beautiful. If you are cruel, your snake is a Beast. What gives the Beast the upper hand over the Beautiful is its proximity – it is in the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, thus the Beast has the upper hand over the Beautiful. There are times when I feel the base of my left foot open and my leg begins to swell out. That is another Serpent soul; a Beast coming to attack my Serpent soul as it resides within its canal/cavern. (The understandings of the journal are enough to close this entranceway, so don’t worry about that.) So I lay in bed awake, and I began to hear the birds sing outside, meaning it is almost time to get up. But these contractions began to get more and more. Then I felt the canal open between my legs, and beings were released from this fist sized structure within my abdomen. I was giving birth to something within me, and if I say “me,” I assume it was the Serpent soul within me. And this is the fun and games that happen as we go about life, wondering when will I move house, and will my car hold until I get money to buy a new one. I don’t know what more to say or do.
  9. Between last night and the early hours of this morning I went into the space of my wife and myself, looking for what we held onto within our heart energy space that we have all forgotten. The body and spirit form were scanned and assessed, but it was to the Serpent soul within that the search began in earnest, as this dude is the fastest link to the Infinite as it has been around the longest and thus knows the most. Nothing was found. When the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness was found within our forms, what I found interesting was that its focal location is over the throat area, and I surmised this to be so as even on the physical body form there is a vast network of Endocrine glands around the throat area, and for me, and others, the Endocrine system is one of our connections to “out there.” Having the strand located at this strategic point connected our body and spirit to higher realms – this should have been the case anyway. The strand should be over our throat area, but when it was discovered I found it hidden in our nose area. It has been written in the journal about my mild infatuation with noses. When I express my love to my animals I have to squash their noses. Why I have always been drawn to this part of their anatomy to touch them with my love I never knew. Everything within the illusion has been inverted. If you take the symbol of love, as in the heart, and you turn this sketch upside down, you will see the silhouette of a nose. The reason why I never found anything in the heart energy field was because what should be there was not there – it was hidden in the nose area, as was the strand. When a crack began to form within us and the illusion, as in something was wrong but we did not know what it was, this crack done what cracks do, namely it created division and separation. From one now became many as the parasite within created a want in us, leading to delusion and insanity. We trusted nobody, and we wanted everything, as in: “IT IS MINE!” Those that kept their wits about them could see the writing on the wall, which was an inevitable clash of heads, and this is where what we were we hid. Love is Love. It is as simple as that, and cannot be simplified, as Love is everything. But within the illusionary Garden a force was manifesting, and our natural “weapon” to counter this force was the power of our Love within. This could never happen, as Love is Love and not something to be used to attack another in order to defend ourselves. Remember, we were in the illusionary realm where there was a counter to what naturally was. The worm evoked insanity/instability and our Love within would not be used as a weapon, as this is not what we are. We are not fighters. We were not born to fight; we were born to create/play. What we were would not be tainted, and so what we were was dismantled and hidden within us. The heart energy field is the key to the Infinite, but this key was dismantled and hidden as it was of no use in the illusion. Now there was foul play at hand – something that Love was not allowed to see or understand, so it was laid to rest. As a parent I understand this concept, where I shield my children from the filth of the world. For them to experience savagery does not make them a better person – it merely destroys them; it breaks the mirror. Love is useless in the illusion because it has no purpose here, and this is so because it is not in its natural environment. The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created an impact zone, and from this zone the Serpent spirit was formed, with Semiramis as the queen bee. A queen bee may be the ruler, but in the hive it is not in control, and this was the case of Semiramis when she created her illusionary Garden and encouraged the Dragon and Serpent spirits to go and play therein. It was our curiosity that fucked everything up. This unheard of state within the Infinite took a form within the Garden, and this parasite became the unknown God of all, as in it took all over. As was predicted when the crack began to appear, now there was no Love. Love is Love, but now there was purpose, as in do, and the reason why you do is to take; to hoard, to survive. So understand that within the illusion Love is useless. Love exists within the fields of Infinite Love and nowhere else. Love cannot function in an unnatural environment because it is a state and not a tool or weapon. What this means, is to awaken and restore the Love within, it can only be used to return Home and for no other reason, because for anything else it is null and void. From the nose area, release the Love that has been hidden there to fall to where it rightfully belongs, namely the heart energy space. This awakened space connects to the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness at the throat area, and from here a link is created to the Infinite. When this happens you are Everything, but here in the illusion you are nothing, simply because an illusion is an illusion – it is nothing.
  10. The Stillness of the Silence To enter this state, one needs to know what you are. To hang up your coat to enter a room, one needs to know that you had a coat on in the first place, and most importantly, to understand that this coat is not you. We were doomed to fail before we even began. All we wanted was to be content – to be happy and enjoy Life. This was not too much to ask for, as deep down we are simple people, as in our roots are deep enough for us to understand that relationships build moments that build Life. We could not look over the hill or over the seas, so we looked at where we were, and in this hamlet we found and built our moments. We done our best, but this would never be enough, as a Darkness began to shine over the lands, and the only weapon we had against this force was holding onto each others hands and standing strong. The animals learnt this early on. When a predator is in their midst, the group stands as one, and against many the lion has no choice but to retreat. Run and you die. Stand as one and you are safe. There was no way that our peace could be maintained in our sanctuary as the innocent were being burnt in faraway lands. Eventually the fire would spread, touching us and those we loved. There was no chain to connect our link onto, and this was our inevitable downfall. Scatter the masses and you can pick them off one by one, and those that stand their ground, carrying on hitting them under they can no longer take the punch and they crumble, all the while knowing that you are safe as you decimate, as no one is coming to attack you the cruel. We never stood a chance. We were always defeated, and always would be, as the scales were never in favour of the innocent, thanks to the proximity of our location, namely the illusionary Garden. The parasitic frequency of Deception – a worm – took over those within the Garden, and the Serpents that were Love became cruel Beasts. Worlds were built with weird and wonderful inhabitants, but always, we were up against a force we could not stop, as we were in a place where we should not be. Regardless of whether battles were won or lost, and even if there were no battles, our demise was inevitable, because no matter how hard we tried, we could just not get it right – our utopia and our simple, content existence was truly an illusion within an illusion. It is only fair that one acknowledges this Beast that destroyed us time and time again by understanding it, and this we have. This monster is more entrapped than us, and eventually even the mighty fall. What a disaster. Nobody wins – not even the Darkness. What should be moments of joy and peace are replaced by moments of orgasmic highs through our superficial pleasures of the flesh and our inherent nastiness within as we get the upper hand over the weak/innocent. Wow! And we call this Life. To enter the Stillness of the Silence is not a fad; a new flavour of the month that is worthwhile exploring. It is not something we do so that blinkers may be placed over our eyes as our world around us falls apart. We are not running to hide, as this will never work. What we have always done has never worked, and this is so because what we apply and become is done in a place where we don’t belong. How can you build a sanctuary; a home on an illusion? It cannot be done, and yet we have tried again and again. Step out of the swamp onto dry land, and from this new environment we can call it Home. Now here is the bugger: I don’t know what this new environment is; I do not know what is this state within the Stillness of the Silence. I can give you my guesses and opinions, but I don’t know what it is. So the joke is I am telling you to enter something I have no understanding of. That is funny! All I can say is that this new environment is the complete opposite of the one we know, and most importantly, I know that this place is where we belong. Can I be wrong? Damn right I can, but I am willing to take that chance, as where we are is not where we belong. I am tired of this place and have no intention of staying. To enter the Stillness of the Silence requires a leap of faith, which I am prepared to take. To sit and wait for a helping hand is not an option, as God helps those who helps themselves, but would it not be Wow if the Creator walked with us. Who walks with us is not important right now, as we have to first walk through the door into the new room. How do we walk through the door? The drivers within us; the first wave, is the Serpent soul and our spirit. We the dummy body form wait our turn as the soul and spirit enter this unknown that we have forgotten. How is it done; how do they enter this unknown? The core of our survival, and I am talking about the Serpent soul and the spirit form, is making sure that we are safe. To be safe, we need to know ourselves and the elements around us, and from this intel, we may build our sanctuary to build a Life upon. I am not talking about bricks and mortar; I am talking about the understanding we have of ourselves and of Life. Zoom out into the unseen realms and understand that from here and our understanding of this place is where we looked to the future of our species. Many crossed over and embraced and became one with the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, and these Beasts became masters over us, yet the upper hand that we always had, which was unfortunately useless in the illusionary realm, was our good hearts. This is what we put to good use now, however to unleash this omnipotent force we have to release the core beliefs “that made survival possible” within the illusion. To step forwards through the door into the Stillness of the Silence, the soul and spirit need to step backwards; to zoom out, to see what they have missed to enter the fields of Infinite Love that have literally been right in front of their faces. Throw away the building plans because they were a disaster and only brought disaster. What have you missed? It is something so obvious and simple. What is it? What it is, is within our good hearts, and this why, on an unconscious level, we held onto our good hearts; our kindness as if our lives depended on it – because it did. We ask the Serpent soul, our spirit form, and even us the body form to release what we have held so tightly onto. Release this now what we have forgotten, so that we may return to our true Home within the Stillness of the Silence. Just let go. Stop being afraid and uncertain. Release your good heart. I want to see what it is – this key to open the door to the Stillness of the Silence.
  11. 17th December, 2021 End of the journal: What the Animals Taught Me – a journal of self-discovery. I wrote this journal to understand why Life is so cruel. I understand. (7 years, 10 months, 2 weeks of living, breathing and writing this journal.) Now there is a new chapter in my existence. I have known of and understood the shadows. Now I will understand and be Love – what we naturally are.
  12. Now that I know what my thoughts are – which is, I suppose you can say what I am – one has to ask how can we set this Fear free that we created that came to be us? How do you stop thinking in a world that never sleeps – a place where the sun sets only to awaken somewhere else; where our very existence is the thought itself; where if we stop thinking we become a deaf and dumb mute? The answer has to be simple and practical, and just like this journal, it has to be one of a kind, where what has to be done has never been done before. Nobody has been free from the illusionary Garden, because if someone was, they would have sent reinforcements to save the slaves and the Beasts from their nightmare they don’t know how to get out of. I don’t care how far you Fall – what a despicable Beast you knowingly and willingly have become – there are moments, and many of them, where you say to yourself that this is not the answer. What I am, what I have become, what I do, is disgusting, and there is no joy in what I do and have become. You see, when we becomes cruel a rot sets in – in ourselves – and as we live with this rot we cannot avoid it. We become miserable with ourselves, which triggers unthinkable cruelty, which makes us more miserable. Now we are truly the living dead – devoid of Life and what made us Human. Our only thread to the realities of worlds are our fellow Beasts whom we congregate with – these monsters that we see before us that we have become. We look for Life in them, hoping to see what we can no longer see in ourselves, and yet all we see are ones drunk with power and self-importance. These fools have lost touch with reality, namely that kindness is from where Life is born, and they become lost in the dystopian dream they imagined to be a utopia. They forgot the basics; the building blocks; the foundation – they forgot about kindness. For me, my personal experiences with others is that we are too lost to be kind. We are grabbers and finger-pointers. We pull others down so that they may be as miserable as us. When we see how content others are it reflects how miserable and confused we are, so we hate them for what they are, instead of allowing their solidity to uplift us. Truly, we live in a mixed up Garden. The problem is the thought – the Watcher spirit/Octopus that our uncertainty created that came to be known as Fear. This Beast that you and I are is the problem. We understand the cause of the problem – namely our uncertainty of finding ourselves in a place where we don’t belong. We understand the steps that led to our Fall in this dense space within the Garden, but what we don’t understand is how to fix the problem. I saw a fifteen year old cat the other day that could not lift up its neck properly, and walked oddly at the hindquarters. On examination three lower neck vertebrae were found to be restricted. This was the problem. To assess the neck, I had to take off the flea collar. This was the cause of the problem: the cat was inhaling the noxious chemicals released from the collar which were settling over its brain primarily, as well as the neck and the kidneys. By knowing the problem, as well as the cause of the problem, the disharmony within the cat was gone in the moment, and will not return as long as the collar is kept off. That is the power and simplicity of understanding. No debate needed. Our thoughts keep us glued to the illusion. That is the problem. The cause of the problem is the Fear we created from our uncertainty. We understand the problem and the cause of the problem, so they are no more. This is the easy part, and it is the part that transforms us and detaches us from the illusion. But what keeps us here is the unknown. We fall back into our old ways because this is all we remember, and thus we feel safe with the familiar. So now we have a new problem: what is this unknown – this stillness of the silence? And that answer only you can give me. When I asked why Life is so cruel, I had to know the answer. I did not care where the answer took me – I had to know. I walked through a door to the world of the shadows where lost Beasts dwelled – a place that controlled the kind, where so many of the kind would eventually fall into. What I have come to see and understand has not made me a better person – I understand, but I am not free from my limited reality. Of all the trillions of books written in this reality since the discovery of paper, this journal is a one of a kind, and I say this because if it was already written I would have found it. I would have chosen the easy way, rather than re-invent the wheel and walk through the shadows like the one before me. I went to other worlds to look for help and answers, but all I found was confusion similar to this world. Now I will walk through another door. I understand Cruelty, now I will understand the Stillness of the Silence. My invite is for others to walk with me. Know what we do not know - to be still and in this silence; to know and be everything, where everything falls back in on itself to become Oneness. I will walk through this door, just as I walked through the door into the shadows of Cruelty almost eight years ago to understand why we are all so horribly fucked up, even though we do our best. The problem, the Watcher spirit/Octopus/Fear is removed, as well as the cause, our uncertainty; our not understanding. Now step through the door to reveal what is this place – this stillness of the silence. Stay there for as long as you can, until the chores of this reality pull you back. With each passing moment flex this muscle of silence where you make it stronger until you can control it at will and integrate it into this frequency in which you find yourself. Only you can walk through this door. Through the previous one I walked alone. May I find company when I walk through this one.
  13. As I lay in bed last night to go to sleep, I understood the importance of living in the stillness of the heart energy space – the stillness of the silence. I fell into the heart area and felt that rock that is the stillness there. Then I fell asleep and a story was followed – it was something nonsensical. Then “the heavens opened” and it began to rain outside as I lay in bed sleeping. The downpour woke me up, and something inside of me said “go into the stillness of the silence.” This stopped the thought projector of the story going on in my mind as I slept, and what I felt when this story stopped, as I went into the silence, were these tentacles moving about in my brain. It was one of the most freakiest things I have experienced in writing this journal. What I felt moving around in my brain, that I experienced as a story being told in my sleep state, was the Octopus/Watcher spirit playing with the “key-boards” of my brain. It was then that the bombshell hit home and I understood who and what I am. We are our thoughts, and our thoughts are the Watcher spirit. Every time I tell my animals I love them – which is about seventy five billion times a day – that is the Watcher spirit. Every time I mow my lawn and these shitty thoughts play over and over inside of me – that is the Watcher spirit. This lost, lonely fart called Steven that wants more than anything to be happy and at peace – that is the Watcher spirit. Boom! This journal has answered some big questions, but the one that has been the most elusive has finally been answered, which is “who wrote this journal?” Every word – and there are well over a million of them – was written by the Watcher spirit; that Octopus that sits on the top of our brain and controls the show. My goodness me. This Octopus has told the story of what happened before the beginning of time, but there has been a catch-22 situation, which is: to be truly free, shut up and stop listening to me – stop giving me attention! What more is there to say? This “Beast” was born from our Fear. We put it there in our existence where it became us, and it has become trapped with our spirit, body form and Serpent soul in a place where we all don’t belong. We gave the dense illusion our attention as we tried our best to survive and find a way out, but we should have gone within and just allowed the strand of Goodness/God within to shine to show us the way. You are not your thoughts – you are not this Watcher spirit. You are the fields of Infinite Love – this strand; this speck of light within you. Do you understand this? Do you understand the one writing these words and the ones reading them want to be free of this illusion, so stop giving them attention. There is always something to be done – always something that needs to be cleaned up within the illusion. Stop doing this; stop following the thoughts of the Watcher spirit so that this Fear entity may be set free. It wants to be at peace; it wants to stop giving us instructions that we follow – it wants to be Home. Be the rock of the stillness of the silence. Be this strand within that we all are. Be this, and we the strand shines, and all within are set free. Do you understand what you have always been? Do you understand what you should be? In the beginning was the word, and it was the word of the Watcher spirit. To be free of the illusion there cannot be a word. Live and be in the silence of the strand. Every time you think you entrap the Watcher spirit. Do you understand that you are not allowed to think, as this is not who you are? Do you understand that you be the silence as this is who you are? We are not living in a monastery now where we follow our vows of no speaking – we are living within the fields of Infinite Love. We are living in our Home. Have no pre-conceived ideas of what this is as you have forgotten this state. All I ask is open the door to Home by being in the stillness of the heart energy space. Know what you are – this stillness of the strand, and know what you were not – the mind of the Octopus/Watcher spirit. Shame, we created this monster and then we entrapped it within us. Set it free. Exist in the silence of the fields of Infinite Love.
  14. Over the years I have helped others, but I have never had the capacity to help myself. I knew of my faults, which was a good start, but I never knew how to fix them – on the contrary, they could not be fixed. If you ask why, it was because Life made me like that – it was me being imperfect in an imperfect world. Now, when I look, there is no glass bottle at the bottom of the Ocean. I only see an Ocean – there is no illusion, and for the first time in starting this journal, what has been written has helped me. Up till now it has been setting the unseen free through understanding so that they may be in a position to help themselves and us. You go into the stillness of the silence, and all you see is the bottom of the Ocean. You feel the flow of the current within you. With your old limitations removed one becomes a bit flustered, as you don’t really know where to go to from here. This is where you fasten your seatbelt and you ask yourself what is really important to you, and when you know what it is, you pump the tsunami you formed at the bottom of your Ocean and direct it to what is important to you. As an example, it is important to me that I am one with my Creator, be it Sophia or Semiramis. I Love them both, and both are our mothers. We all need money to buy what we need in the world we find ourselves, but look past the money and ask what is really important to you in the world wherein you dwell. From there you go into the stillness of the silence and you feel the Ocean and nothing else. From there, ask what you wish for – what is really important to you. When I asked, I felt this chord that was wrapped around my spirits right ankle disappear. This is what the System done to me when I still dwelled in the bottle – in the illusion. The System played with me; limited me; it was just being is plain cruel old self, and this is why what I wished for so badly over the years never came to be. The illusion wanted sad faces, not happy ones. One needs to harness your new-found freedom and direct it to what is important to you – as in what defines you to be you. Do we really know what we want? Yes, we do. We want to laugh and be happy. We want to share our laughter with others so that they may also laugh. Our laughter comes from the joy of being one with the Ocean. This is who we are, and we cannot be anything else.
  15. We live in a world of limitations – an illusionary world. In an illusion all there is is the illusion. We see what is before us and imagine it to be real. Magicians play with the illusion, but they are still caught up therein. We have come to make this illusion our home, but my goodness me, what an unpleasant, cruel place we have unpacked our bags in and called our own. Within the illusion is the fields of Infinite Love. This Love is everywhere as it is what it is – it is natural. We chose the illusionary Garden of Semiramis and became trapped therein. How do we remove ourselves from the illusion? – We trace back our steps and understand who and what we are and how we got into this mess. And then we sit and wait and hope someone or something will remove us from this awful place. So we sit and wait. And this is the biggest damage that the illusionary Garden inflicted upon us: It limited us. We know of our box and nothing else. The fields of Infinite Love are within and around you – it is always there. Yet through our limitations we remain within the illusion. The truth is too simple, and thus we doubt it. We believe we have to break down obstacles to uncover the truth, and this we like doing, as an obstacle is without and not within. With no obstacles we have to look at ourselves – what are we doing that we remain in this awful place? The answer is transform your awareness; understand your limitations; know what is beyond the illusion, and then YOU allow the fields of Infinite Love to enter and be one with your existence. Live with no limits. How can help come and save us when it has always been with us? We pushed help outside the box of our existence as we focused on surviving. Queen Semiramis created the illusionary Garden, and the Dragon and Serpent spirits went to go and play therein. It’s like you taking a bottle, filling it with water, and letting it sink to the bottom of the ocean floor. In this bottle is the Garden of Semiramis. The rest of the ocean is the fields of Infinite Love. What separates the Garden from the Ocean is the glass of the bottle, but this glass is an illusion, as is the Garden therein. How do you break the glass so that the Infinite may be one with the illusion? You don’t. You cannot, as the glass is an illusion and is not real, as is the Garden. You are in that glass bottle that is at the bottom of the ocean, and that bottle and all that are therein are an illusion, so the ocean washes away the bottle/illusion and you and your world are no more as now you are one with the Ocean. Where there was a bottle with you therein this is no more. All that is, is the Ocean. Live within the fields of Infinite Love. This is not some Shangri La place where we hope to someday be. It is within and without you – just acknowledge it and be it. And how simple is that? There is no bottle; there is no illusion. There is only the Ocean. Allow this Ocean to push and shove and bend and twist the limited, rigid box that you have become. Go with the flow – let it take you over. 12/12/2021
  16. There is a reason why we have been the lesser for thousands of years, and that reason is that the truth is stranger than fiction. It was written in the journal a few years ago that there is a control hub of sorts within the illusion - a central management that makes sure the slaves remain slaves. This was my hunch; my strong belief; my opinion, and if you see how a few insane government officials can lock down our world, my hunch should not be too far off the mark as to what is happening to us from the unseen. Well, let me tell you what I saw last night as I closed my eyes to sleep. I was still awake. I closed my eyes and saw this grey tube move towards me. Just before it reached me it made a twirl and then settled right over me, as in the tube was in my space. In this tube I saw a man sitting in a white chair. He flipped his chair from over me to over my wife. This was one of those from the control tower. How friggin’ freaky can you get! What this man does to us I will soon find out, but what came after he left was an implanted dream. I was so despondent that something was once again within my space and feeding from my energy. I just saw its tail scoop up my energy to feed from it. What the rest of this entity looked like I did not have the energy to take note of, but boy was I bowled over. This entity was a drug addict within the illusion, and I say this because the implanted dream was of me craving a drug. It makes common sense that if such monumental effort has been made to keep the illusion running as near precision as a Swiss clock, there has to be those that oversee the System. A slave is a slave because they are suppressed and limited. One needs to make sure this remains always so, hence the control tower/hub where everything is monitored. That there is another locked door to pass through is most disheartening for me. I am floating on cloud nine over the last few days – I cannot plant my feet on this reality and get things done. Exhaustion is a big factor, and I am sure so is the will to just get up and go. I have had enough, and now, after last night, we need to understand how this control hub has us by the short and curly’s. This journal has to end. I cannot go on as I am exhausted. The cure is experiencing a helping hand. This is what I need, so let’s see how we are controlled by those in this tower, and from there, may we be free. When I go into the stillness of the silence to understand what hold those in the tower have over us, what I feel primarily is control over our digestive system – the parts of us that break down food for sustenance/nutrients. What would happen to the System of the illusion if the slaves did not have to eat? You control people by controlling their food supply. We eat to live as this is a basic of survival. What if we just drew nutrients from the illusion around us? What would happen to the monetary system if we did not have to buy food? What would happen to the medical system if we were healthy as this is what we are? Would jealousy exist if everyone was the same? But most importantly, what would drive us if we had the time for ourselves rather than slave to a job so that we may eat? Surely we would find a way out of this mess, and not just individuals, but the collective species within the illusion. In no time we would be Home, but if we were made to live from meal to meal to survive, it’s a given we are staying slaves to the System. I love to eat. It is one of the joys of Life, but what these entities are doing is keeping us down and enslaved rather than giving us a pleasure. What these fuckers done to our digestive system to control it is no more. I would rather absorb understanding to be free than the protein from a baked cheesecake. What else do those in the control hub have over us? Where is our tracker, that they could find me last night to keep me in line? Our Third Eye is our awakening to what is happening around us, and most importantly, it heightens our awareness which raises our vibratory rate. Any spike in our awareness and the red dots start flashing on their mainframe. So how do we get off the mainframe? Our tracker/marker/unique identification is on the spirit at the side of the left neck. When we were manufactured our tag was placed there and from there connected to the mainframe. We remove this sticker by knowing it is there and has no place within our existence. Now you are rogue – off the grid. Or better still – let’s just take away the mainframe by knowing there is one. Now we are all free from this hub. Insanity abounds in the seen and unseen, but it is more than that, it is simple stupidity. It is purpose; it is having something to do; it is having a job. That this job enslaves you and those you love as well is not taken into consideration, as you are on this side of the line and the slaves are on the other. What you see is what you are you fool. You see a slave, so guess what – you are also a slave. By having your job destroyed now your eyes open. You see that you have nothing, that you are nothing. The Serpent soul within us was not there to ride on our backs. It was in hiding. Yes, it hid from evil Serpent souls that attacked it, but most importantly, it hid from those that ran the System. Just like I need help, the Serpent souls needed help, as in our understanding. This they have been given. What we give them now is freedom from the System called Life within the Illusion. The mainframe is down, the one which blocked us around every corner at will. Now cruel can you get. Now no one is watching. Now we do what we want – because we can.
  17. How is it possible that those in the spirit realm can be so easily deceived? Most depart the body with a lifetime of toil, only to reach the less dense realm of the spirit world. Shit, to be in this place is joy, so you know, what we went through to be able to get here was worth it. Those that are left behind from where we came, as in the physical world, they will understand this when they are here, and not too worry, I will keep an eye on them from here. My goodness, and we call ourselves sane! In the book The Demon Syndrome by Nancy Osborn with Ann Haywood, Ann describes how this demon “puts her cape around my body.”…………….”Then, I have only a feeling of great lightness and happiness.” No doubt, this cape is a frequency pattern that numbs the senses and makes us forget and not see the harsh reality of being thrown into a place where we don’t belong. No doubt, there is an extension of this cape that clouds the spirit realm, firstly to hide those from the shadows that play with those within this realm, and secondly, to blind us with lightness and happiness as the blood and tears continue to flow from where we departed. This frequency cape in the spirit realm is there boys and girls. Should it be removed? I don’t think so. There is no time to be stopped in our tracks as we stare aghast at the cruel Game we have been played in. Just be what you are – this Love within, and follow your Serpent soul as it goes back Home. If you want to delve deep, then understand that compared to what we should know, we truly know nothing. From this blank slate ask yourself what is your truth – not the truth of others, but your truth? Your honest answer is that you know of no truth that you have embraced and made your own. Then ask yourself if you would like to know the truth. If you do, you will carry on walking, if you don’t, you will stand still. The truth is within you. You are the truth. Be nothing but yourself and you are Home.
  18. Here is an interesting thought: Who gave us our identity? Or put another way: Who labelled us? The answer is obvious – it was those who manufactured us. When I checked on someone earlier on I felt this distinct label/identity tag over their breastbone. It was unmistakeable – I am not imagining this. To shake off our labels is easy. We are not Black or White or rich or poor – we are all an illusion. I am talking about the other labels; the labels they placed on us after they made us damaged goods. What is eat is a given. Some of us eat dogs – ones that have been tortured before they are eaten, as this torture releases hormones/chemicals that makes the meat taste better. (Or think lobster bisque, where the lobsters are boiled alive to kill them – same concept.) Some of us eat horses – an acquired meat. Most of us eat cattle – where believe it or not, each one has their own personality. I eat plants – organisms that grow and also have feelings. So before we point fingers at others, let’s take a look at ourselves. We are worse than those from the shadows, as we should know of better as we have a conscience and they don’t. The imagined solidity of our world and ourselves makes us prehistoric compared to those brutes from the shadows, because when you understand everything is frequency you can play with what is around you. As you will pour yourself a cuppa, so too do those from the shadows implant a dream/story within us to feed from us. The one requires a teabag and boiling water, the other needs understanding of frequencies. Some of us are damaged intentionally, and the only reason why I can think they done this to us is for a variant in our frequency – a different taste to them. This sounds absurd, but stop, wait, go back to what we do, and you will give me that nod – “I understand Steven.” You want to walk Home? You want to bring your loved ones with for the stroll, as it is better walking with company than alone – then make sure they have no labels on them, as these literal labels are a frequency pattern that keep them in the shop window of the illusion. Go into the stillness of the silence and be one with the one you love. If there is a label on them you will feel a distinct imprint over their breastbone area. If you want to heal others make sure they have no label, and if they do, remove it by knowing it is there and has no place in the presence of understanding/Love, otherwise your healing will do nothing to transform them. This journal is written for the unseen – the spirit – either those that have departed the deceased body form and are in the less dense spirit realm, or those spirits that still dwell around the living body form. You the spirit are now made aware of these labels. As you are now walking away from the place/space/frequency you knew, you have perspective and can see yourself and others in a new light. Look for labels, and if you feel one on you or see one on others, they disappear as they don’t belong. Shed the damaged goods, as well as the labels that came with them.
  19. In one of the ayahuasca ceremonies I attended, in my altered state I saw these two snakes arise from the body of the man that was lying next to me on the ceremony floor. It was truly a sight to behold. You see these two snakes arise from this mans’ body. All that they done was hover over him and look at him. There was love and tenderness in them as they looked down at the one they inhabited. After a few minutes they flopped back into his space out of my sight. This is the Serpent soul. I have seen my wife’s one, and have felt mine too often to mention. Over the last week or so on some occasions I see my Serpent soul and what it sees. (There are some things we see that need not be spoken about as there are no words for what is seen. You see what you see to remind you to carry on and finish this journal no matter what.) What I saw arise from that man were Serpent souls of love. In my sleep state I have witnessed the complete opposite – Serpent souls of death that devour the spirit that they inhabited. These are the Serpent souls that stopped trying these best to keep their integrity, so they crossed over and embraced the raw, pure Reptilian frequency of the illusion. These Serpents become cruel mother fuckers – as in real bad. I have met my share of these power-packs in my sleep state over the years. You don’t fuck with them – it is as easy as that. Their prey are other Serpent souls, as in yours and mine. There is a Serpent soul in each of us, as in one Serpent, thus I have always wondered why I saw two Serpent souls arise from that man. (What I am about to say makes sense to me, but please understand I am open to being wrong.) There is the trinity of the Serpent soul, the spirit and the body form. The guiding star within all is the strand of Inherent Goodness/Godness. The Serpent soul within is the one that was trapped; for me, it was the one we had to remember so that we may remember what we are. Free the Serpent soul, and you free the spirit and body form. My take as in why I saw two Serpent souls arise from this man was because what was done to the Serpent spirit, the Serpent soul done to itself. From the Serpent spirit another was cloned, and the Serpent soul was born. And from the Serpent soul another was cloned/born. From one are now two, and the reason for this is for eyes on those wherein the Serpent soul resides, namely the body form and the spirit form. The one frequency of the Serpent soul can split into two – the one frequency caring for the body form, and the other for the spirit form. When the body form sleeps at night there is one less to care for, and in such instances the two become one. This is of course also true for death of the body form. The solitary snakes that I have seen in my sleep state over the years are alone because they consumed the spirit they were with. I have seen evil Serpent souls with their evil spirit forms, until the one devours the other, and I have seen spirit forms while they are in the process of being consumed by their Serpent soul. Wow! You want to play with fire – don’t! The devil, as in disharmony/evil, has no friends. Why I say that from the Serpent soul another arises is because when I assess my spirit and me the body form, I feel a full integration of the Serpent soul within my spirit, as in the two are in unity and are okay. On my body form I feel the presence of this Serpent soul half way up my form, which means work needs to be done until full integration is met, which means we are then healed and can walk without crutches. Understand the process of your healing. By the spirit and body forms knowing of the Serpent soul, we know what is real, as in it was cloned from the Serpent spirit. A strand; a speck of light was taken from the Serpent spirit, and from this speck another was born, namely the Serpent soul. We the spirit and body form were manufactured, and our initial role was to seed/inhabit the many worlds within the illusion. No foul play or bad intent were the order of the day. When the illusion began to fall apart thanks to the parasitic frequency of Deception, wars broke out from deception. The role of the spirit and body form changed from hugging trees and throwing flowers in the air to being a food source for the powers that be. There have been many steps along the way to our demise. I would say that as we focused externally, and not internally, this Serpent soul became trapped within us the spirit and body form. How it got within us I don’t know. Was it always within us; was there always a trinity, or did it seek refuge within us as war broke out between the Serpents amongst themselves, as well as with the Dragon souls? I don’t know, and this is okay, as it is not a question that needs to be answered. All that matters is that we know of this Serpent soul in our midst. The Serpent soul is creating the bridge to the Serpent spirit, so that this strand within it may be one with the other strands within the Serpent spirit. This will awaken the Serpent spirit, and when awakened it will be Home in the Infinite by default of who and what it is. What happens when you are confused and lost – you become tired, until you fall asleep. You wake up when you understand, as now your understanding put you where you belong. The spirit and body form are peeling away the dense layers of confusion and uncertainty. We are not analysing or trying to fix – we are shedding to catch up with where the Serpent soul has built its bridge. What will happen to the spirit and body form as the Serpent soul reaches its destination? Once again, I don’t know. What makes sense is that we will become one with the Serpent soul, or should we say, the strand within. Just as an evil Serpent soul will devour us, so too will a good Serpent soul “devour” us. The one is to take over, the other is to integrate. The one stays in Hell, the other is Home. What happened to the Dragon spirits that were created by The Wisdom Goddess Sophia? My strong guess is that they are already Home. I say this because we saw that child that was nurtured and cared for by that mother within the Egyptian line. That child was a Dragon, and that Dragon was eventually set free. Now all that is left is for us to follow, which we are.
  20. Now that you have perspective of yourself, you go into the stillness of the silence and from there you feel for any large “bubble spaces” within you. It feels like an air pocket within you. What we are doing is healing the spirit and body form, and what this “bubble” is, is a walk-in entity. I am in tune if these entities are within others, but as I never had perspective of myself, I never knew of the one that spanned across my left, front thigh area. We instinctively and subconsciously build defences around ourselves. The spirit and body forms are made up of layers of frequencies. This is our space, and as lost as we are, we are still in tune with our barriers. However, there are moments when we are exposed; when we are vulnerable; when we have no defence mechanism to what is around us. It could be our first day at school, or when a deep sadness overcomes us, or witnessing the senselessness of war. Now our space is open, and we become open to what is around us. What a walk-in is, is an indifferent entity that moves within the ethers. In our language see it as an insect flying around. When our barriers are no longer there, and these entities are around us and fly into our space, they become trapped within us when our barriers once again go up. Our dog Fiona is a rescue. She has a heart of gold – a real angel. For her to run away from her home and be taken to an shelter, you must know she had it bad. I remember one day seeing what looked like a cartoon looking elephant in her space. This is her walk-in. There is no strength within her left front leg, so when she jumps down from even a low height she ploughs into the ground. Her walk-in stays within her left front leg. There is no fixed place where they will make home within us, but wherever it is, the area becomes compromised. Now there is another within you, which means something else is tapping into your energy to survive. Disease and weakness in the area often sets in. It is a lose-lose situation for the two of you. You are deprived of energy that should be yours, and this walk-in is trapped in a place where it does not belong. It wants to be free – it does not want to be within you. If you feel this air bubble within you while you are in the stillness of the silence, release it by knowing it is there. Open your frequency barriers where you feel this bubble so that it may be released. Apologise for the accident, and then bade it farewell. When you no longer feel this air bubble within your forms you will know it is gone. We are no longer learning or understanding – we are healing as we walk Home. We are getting rid of our damaged goods, especially within the spirit form.
  21. It was a fair question to ask why is Life so cruel. The answer had to make sense to me – it had to be my truth. The advantage of this is that one hits the root of the nerve, where nothing is sugar-coated and hidden, as what you seek is for you and nobody else. I can fool you, but I cannot fool myself, and that is the difference between a journal and a book. In the one you lay forth your viewpoints for others, and in the other you lay forth what you have come to believe as the truth for yourself, as you have come to understand the harsh reality that you are in this alone. Help yourself, as no one else is going to do it for you. I understand the cruelty of Life. Really I do. But there is something I will never understand, and will not even attempt to do so, as I know it cannot be understood, and that is myself. When you understand that we have existed in a toxic environment, and you have found a way out, and you start walking back Home, when you look back at what you were, you will understand that you were damaged goods. Hell has touched all of us, and we are all the worse for it. The biggest failure; the biggest cruelty that we have experienced in Life is what we have done to ourselves. You see, we just had to get it right. We had to do our best, because with every failure there is bound to be success around the corner. Well guess what: Have you ever stood back to see where you are standing? You are in a System that was doomed to fail from the start, which has been failing ever since, but wait, tomorrow I will feel better and everything will be okay. It will not be okay, because Life has fucked us up beyond repair. If someone is ill from being in a toxic environment, the first thing you do to help is get them out of the environment – you don’t treat them for poisoning while they are still in the room inhaling the noxious chemicals. No one can help me – I am too fucked up. What one would call “beyond help.” This is what Life done to me, from trying to succeed in a place where there are no winners, only losers. I am not broken, and I am not in despair, I am merely what I am – one seriously fucked up dude that cannot be fixed up. We always done our best. We always kept our side clean. We always kept our integrity, and along the way we were knocked and bumped and pushed until we came out the other end as damaged goods. You cannot see this, as this is all you know, but when you stop standing in the same place and start walking Home, that is when we understand the impact that Life had on us. We see ourselves, and what we see is not a pretty sight. This is what Life done to us – being in a place where we don’t belong. Be warned: When you start moving you may fall apart when you see what has been done to you. There is no answer for what has happened to you in the place where you existed, as this place is the cause of your insane state. Don’t try and fix something that cannot be fixed. Leave it be and walk Home. Along the way you will shed your damaged goods, but once again, be warned: the first few steps are brutal. You see what you have come to accept and it is not a pretty picture.
  22. The trick is to know what you want, and from there to know who can and will help. There is no ways we can do this alone. To be helped meet kindness with kindness. Semiramis needs to take charge of her Garden and dismantle what she created. Many will want to stay, and we leave them be, with the door open should they wish to follow. Now these cowards grow a backbone and decide what is best for themselves, rather than just being nasty because they can. We leave them be, as the understanding is there to return Home should they wish to do so. How Semiramis dismantles the illusion is by holding onto her energy and going within. This deprives the monster without from a food source, namely Fear, and by default this Beast falls in on itself. She does nothing but be what she is, which is Love. This Loves shines the way to the Infinite, and I promise you that when, in the moment when she knows/remembers what she is, you will feel this moment as it ripples through the illusion. From there, Life as we knew it will never be the same again. What the animals have taught us is enough to set this lady free. Now she can help us, and she will.
  23. Let’s go back to the beginning. Why were the Dragon spirits created by The Wisdom Goddess Sophia? Imagine an artist been given a blank canvas with a few brushes and oil paints with the brief of “have fun.” Now their imagination is let loose – and they do have fun. Take that imagine of the artist letting themselves loose and allowing their creative juices to flow, and picture them now within a field of Infinite Love. What you imagine is born before you. There are no limits. To say the Dragon spirits were created to play is a gross understatement. We filled the Infinite with explosions of wonder and joy. It is something you and I cannot imagine, and if you ask we what it was, all I can say was that it was beautiful. You expressed yourself with no limits. The Garden of Queen Semiramis was similar to this field within the Infinite. It was just in a different state – an illusionary state, and what we mean by this is that it was a “pocket” within the Infinite. One of the Creators did not form the Garden, and thus it was not integrated and one with the Infinite. A state of curiosity was within the Dragon and Serpent spirits, as in “what else is in this unfamiliar place?” This state took on a form within Semiramis’ illusion which infiltrated all. Some saw this worm and refused to be taken over by it, while most began to lose their marbles. What is important to note is that the Garden became dense and took on a “solid” form the denser it became. This shifted the Garden further and further away from the fields of Infinite Love. What changed with this separation from the Infinite was the role of those within the illusion. We were no longer expressions of the place from where we arose. Now we were isolated from where we were born, so a new role had to be defined for us. Purpose was born. Now we had to do something and be something, and what slotted us in our roles was the origin of Purpose, which was survival. Do, because something needs to be done, because we are not where we belong, and something is wrong, but I don’t know what it is. (It was the worm within that made us question and lose ourselves.) We forgot ourselves – these strands of the Infinite within. These strands became segregated from the Infinite as the Garden we found ourselves in became denser as uncertainty took us over. What I am trying to say is that the Serpent soul within us does not know itself within the world of us the spirit and body from, because it does not belong here. This kundalini force is a teeny-bopper with an attitude that does not know if they are Arthur or Martha. I say this because in my sleep state I listen to this Serpent soul within, and truly, it does not know of itself. It is making the best of the situation it finds itself in, not understanding that the only best it can do is leave the place we know where all have come to define as real and the truth. In our midst the Serpent soul is playing doll-doll instead of splashing explosions of colours and shapes within the Infinite. Why is this so; why is the Serpent soul playing dummy-dummy? The answer is for us – the spirit and body form. Yes, another world is being created within by the Serpent soul – a place of utopia and understanding that follows on to the fields of Infinite Love, but on the other side of the bridge is us and our world/frequency trapped within the illusion. And this pickle we understand, namely what does the Serpent soul do about us? It will never abandon us, but what does it do to help us? The answer is to release what does not belong. There is clutter; there is confusion. We have lost ourselves in a maze of confusion in trying to slot in in a place where we don’t belong. To each their own. Understand the truth and then sit around a table – the Serpent soul, the spirit and the body – and decide what is the way forwards. For me, my Serpent soul takes away what does not belong. This illusion literally begins to disappear from my psyche. The bridge breaks and falls away, where we play catch-up with the Serpent souls connection to the Infinite. For me, there is no party and play-mode here in the illusion. Thanks for the invite and free drinks, but I would rather go Home. Decide what is the way forwards, because at the moment all we are doing is standing still.
  24. It is rude of me to dismiss this parasitic frequency of Deception without understanding it. The System is made to thrive out of chaos. But this is a dangerous game, as one has the potential to lose your energy source – those feeders within the game. A parallel universe was created to solve this problem. When things get too hot we go to the parallel universe. This has been discussed in the journal – I have knowingly been there twice, as in I remember going there. It is a universe 99% similar to ours that lacks one key element, and that is stress. Here you do not experience this state, which gives us a breather before we get thrown back into the storm. But what happens when this parallel universe no longer works, or put another way: What happens when the System breaks us? To cut to the chase, the simple answer is that we become a living expression of the parasitic frequency of Deception. We become devoid of emotion and feelings – we stop caring. Now we become takers, but it is more than just a taker, as there are so many grabbers amongst us. What we become are destroyers. All that is meaningful in this unkind place becomes sucked out of your psyche and you bestow this non-chalant state on others. In a nutshell: The Serpent soul has lost faith in Life and is taken over by this worm that only knows one thing, and that is take. But understand, as this is important, because what we now become is a carnivorous puc-man – we destroy what good is left in this world. For me, a prime example of this is Larry Fink at Black Rock. The parasite within him; his Serpent soul, is destroying our world, and it doesn’t care, and understand why this is so – it is because the System of Life has destroyed the Serpent soul within. For how long can we keep head above water in a world that does not care? These broken become what we may call a psychopath, where they destroy others by sucking the goodness out of them, and eventually the System does fall – the world and life on it are no more. I will never forget the one night where I travelled to a world that was consumated. There was nothing there – the parasite took everything, and it does this with Santa’s-little-helpers, namely those that the System destroyed, or should we say, “broke.” All become consumed, even these destroyers, leaving only one standing – a worm. To these broken Serpent souls we give Love to first, as they need it the most – these non-Human monsters amongst us that done their best only to fall to the System. We give them Love through understanding by removing the parasite that has taken the Serpent soul over. This is done now in all the frequencies of the illusion. The glow from the Infinite shines the brightest on these that fell in a place where kindness has all but become extinct. I give you a hug my friends and tell you that you will be okay. I know you, as I became you.
  25. Understand where you are now and where you were. You are in the presence of the golden glow of Love from the Infinite. This is your world now – your existence. What was in the past is no more.
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