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steven geldenhuys

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  1. To get to where you belong, one needs to know where you are. Every finish line has to have a starting point, otherwise there is just this mass of space wherein we drift. Consciousness now knows where it is – it is plugged into a machine; a machine that you and I in our wildest imagination could not fathom. So what Consciousness now does, is pull finger out of arse and unplug itself from the machine. In healing the animals, I need to know two things: What is the cause of the problem/pain, and secondly, where is the primary problem? By understanding where the primary problem is, as well as how it got there, from there I do nothing – where something bigger than me overrides the programme in front of me and makes a wrong right, because we are not meant to be in pain; there is not meant to be disharmony within our existence. Know what the problem is, as well as its cause, and in the moment the disharmony you have known is no more. Every single animal and human spirit I see over the years is treated in this way. The closer you get to the truth, the simpler it is to make a wrong right. The cause of the problem is that Consciousness has been deceived, where it became plugged into a simulation machine, where what it saw, it believed to be real. The primary problem is with the manufactured components of the simulation, namely the spirit and body form. The primary problem is there are players in a Game, and Consciousness has been made to believe that these players are real and important, where everything must be done to make sure they are okay, so the primary problem is that Consciousness believes these players to be real. We are not, we are an illusion, just as is the simulation in which Consciousness finds itself. Know the cause of the problem, as well as the primary problem, and the two are no more. This I can attest with every patient I see, where it is not about treating, but rather about understanding, and from there passing on this understanding to something bigger than us, which is the Consciousness into which the body and spirit are created around. So Consciousness unplugs itself now from the machine wherein a world was projected that it believed to be real, and it returns Home to what is. Beyond the simulation that it plugged into is Home. Everything else that is not the simulation is Home. Here there are no problems to solve – you merely be. What about the players in the simulation – you and me the spirit and body form? All we can do is connect to Consciousness in its true state so that our programme which was our enslavement may be overridden. What becomes of the illusion that is you and me? What I ask for, is to know what is real, as all I have known is a plastic illusion that revolves around survival. We ask that Consciousness shows us joy and what naturally should be, where it shows us a replica of what its Home is. In other words, show us and let us experience the illusionary Garden as Queen Semiramis intended it to be. Wipe away the abnormal so that all that is left is the normal. So be it. No need to wait for hope and chance.
  2. Don’t know when last I got up in the early hours of the morning to write, as what I saw in my sleep state had to be written down, where one could not wait till morning to do so. It’s just after two in the morning, and must have been awake for the last hour or so. Still the same. They access your subconscious mind, find a character that you have met in your life, weave a story with you and this character, add spice by playing on our emotional state during the story, and from there show this implanted story/dream on a screen within us for our Consciousness to follow so that our attention to the story releases our energy for them to eat. In this night this group of animation kids came on their flying device to come and feed from my energy. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Shame! Poor Steven!” I cannot speak for the rest of the worlds within the illusion, but on this one – the blue planet – in the seen and unseen, we are a colony that has been manipulated and controlled so that our energy may be harvested to feed those within the illusion that know of the Game we and they are played in. Every single one of us – the good, the bad, and the ugly – every single one is a circuit-switch that is plugged into an electrical circuit board that is embedded within a machine. Every single one of us on the blue planet in the seen and unseen. We fight and hate and destroy and make sure we are okay while our energy is being harvested. The narrated video of Carl Sagan called A Mote of Dust Suspended in a Sunbeam is absolutely brilliant. What Carl missed though was that we are plugged into a System so that Beasts may feed from our energy to keep them and the illusion alive. Every single one of us. Do the animals dream? – You bet! Implanted dreams like ours? – You bet! We are plugged into a System so that our energy may be harvested. Everything, but everything is a simulation. How do we get out of it? By being touched by something bigger than us. We need a bump; a push; a shove so that we may be knocked out of the machine and thus be set free from it. To wait for Divine Intervention is to hope, and I am not good on hoping, because up till now hope has not touched our existence. There was been a wake-up-shake-up within the unseen realms of the illusion that has touched all within the unseen realms. That wave has not hit the trio of us here on the harvester blue planet, namely us the body form, spirit and Consciousness. You have to hit all three to affect all three. That wave is my only hope of us being knocked out of the machine, and yes, now all I do have is hope, because in writing this journal I have done something to the illusion, but that something has not altered our reality to one where we are elevated above what we have always known, and that for me is unbelievable. After all that has been seen, said and done, it comes down to a frequency wave from somewhere within the illusion to save us and set us free. My goodness. What a fuck-up.
  3. What kept the illusion alive was the madness therein. One had to understand this madness in order to move forwards, because if you don’t understand, you can’t go forwards and put the past behind us. What we never knew was who ran the Looney bin – it was run by the cruel and the insane, which I suppose is one and the same thing, meaning there was never an answer as to why others do what they do. Sure, we can talk about it to get it off our chest, but the book will never be closed where closure is met because the insane don’t know themselves why they do what they do. A big part of them loves their dastardly acts, and what this is that they love is the sense of power, where they are elevated above the mediocrity of others as well as the illusion. This high – and it is a euphoric high – where I understand I am above you in so many ways, this is what fuels the mad to embrace the evil that they are. I had to understand these fuckers, and what I have come to understand is that there is nothing to understand. Rather get out of their space as soon as possible, because being in the proximity of such filth is not a good place to be. Over the last few days this Steven has done his bit, where I don’t allow my mind to drift – I keep everything close to me to do my bit to assist my spirit and Consciousness. My threshold of the illusion – that ceiling that elevated me as far as I could go above the madness, was holding onto my animals. Their Love for me and mine for them put me on a space where I was filled with joy, but I knew the moment I snapped out of this space I was once again back in the illusion, so now I go beyond this state and merely be with the Infinite that is me the body form, spirit and Consciousness. What is interesting is the pull by those that controlled us the body form and spirit. Always there is a pull back, where we have to understand why the cruel were cruel, and the reason for this is because they cut us deep and scarred us, and by understanding why they thought nothing of destroying us, we might find closure to that bad chapter in our lives and move on. But there will never be closure, and this the architects of the illusion know, because you cannot solve a problem with the same level of intelligence that created it. To solve the mystery of why Life is cruel, get out of the illusion, because as long as you are inside of it, you are going nowhere besides round and round chasing your own tail. We were meant to remain confused, broken and bitter, where how the hell could love hurt so badly? How could a total stranger be so cruel when you have done nothing wrong to them and those they love? The sickness and insanity of those that ran the show from the shadows is one I have delved into on a full-time basis over almost the last ten years. What you find at the bottom of the pit is bad. When I went into the psyche of the psychopath and what fed off their energy, what you find is being in the presence of these Beasts is toxic, where being in their presence alone is enough to kill you. There is no logical explanation to the cruelty of this place, so get out. Stay, and you will be consumed and become lost forever, as so many already are – some willingly, and others not. Rise above all you have come to love in this place, because just as there is evil, there has to be love to balance the scales. As you have risen above evil, now rise above love, where you merely are what you are. You are beyond this state of love, where you are everything. This state of being is so simplistic when you know what you are, so allow Consciousness and the spirit to merely be and embrace what they are. You the body form join the party and merely be. No need to try and figure out how we may forgive those who trespassed against us, because around the corner the line is around the block of those waiting to fuck you over. Get out of the illusion, and how this is done is by understanding your strings have been pulled by those from the shadows. Your mind is controlled by them. You are their asset as they created and manufactured you, so stop being this tool that they created so they may feed from your energy. Stick close to those you Love and whom Love you, namely your spirit and Consciousness. Do your part, where you just let go and go with the flow of what naturally is all around and within you. I understand the Game of these Beasts, and it is one you no longer want to be a part of, because believe you me, there is no Walt Disney feel-good happy endings. The only thing holding you back now is fear of the unknown, as this illusion is all we have known for so long. The Infinite is not unknown – it has always been within and around us. We never had the opportunity to embrace this all that is because we were made to look elsewhere so that Beasts may feed from our energy to keep their false utopia alive. Their madness made them believe that cruelty and suppression of others is all there is, and this they never doubted, because they love being cruel. That is madness. That is insanity. Get out, because if you don’t they will keep you here and take you with them to their and your demise.
  4. As I closed my eyes to sleep last night there was a lot of activity, as in shadows, moving around me. As I fell into a deep sleep the body with its limitations could be pushed aside and the spirit and Consciousness could come to the fore. Then I saw this man standing next to my bed. His appearance shocked me as I have never seen such a bad looking hombre before. This man personified evil, deceit, and cruelty, but what trait stood out the most was scum of the earth. Have met my fair share of these in the seen realm, but in the unseen/spirit realm I think what startled me about this man was his feeling of angst. He was in a state of distress, as if he had just had to flee from somewhere, and he was most apologetic for inconveniencing me and being in my space. He introduced those around him, and he showed me his pet animal. This creature was about five feet high and kept on opening its mouth to show rows of needle sharp teeth. Its mouth opened upwards towards the sky, and any doubts as to the character of the man standing next to me were confirmed by his pet. This animal was primitive, raw and wild – a true beast. I have seen so much worse over the years from what comes from the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where those whom I see come with intent to destroy or possess me – they always came with an agenda, so where calm and collected as they came to do their job. What came last night, as in this man, was one who was fleeing from somewhere. This low-life scum one would never normally encounter, because he will see you and you won’t see him – you will just know the effects of what he done when he took or destroyed what you had. And please understand, I am not ridiculing or being harsh on this man, I merely state what he is. I do not remember what this man told my spirit and Consciousness, which is a pity, as this would have explained the reason for his visit. What I do know, is where he was - where he has always been – as well as what he done, was no more. Something had touched him that had altered his existence forever more, and this man was rattled to his core. Later on during the night my spirit found itself in a village on a plateau that bordered a mountain side. In this world the darkness of night had set in, and my spirit and Consciousness moved around this village as all there were asleep. We were waiting for something, because there was a feeling of eeriness that some presence was going to make itself known in the village, and we waited and looked out for it to sound the alarm before it striked. This I don’t understand what it was all about. I don’t understand what we were waiting for, and I don’t know if being there was related to the man standing next to my bed earlier on. What I can tell you, is there has been a wake-up-shake-up in the spirit realm, where what was, is no more. Will this wave hit us in the seen realm? – You bet. Everything I write is for the unseen to understand, because this is where the action happens. We the dense body forms are touched by what happens in the unseen/spirit realm, so helping us the pieces of meat will do nothing to alter the big picture. Change the spirit and Consciousness, and everything changes, especially us the dense body forms. For the first time in a long time I don’t feel alone. This Steven feels he is working with his spirit and Consciousness, where there is a mutual understanding of moving together as one to get where we belong. It is not just about me, but the we, and from this we – as in body form, spirit and Consciousness – it is about everyone. We cannot be happy unless you are, and we cannot help you unless we help ourselves, so we help us to help you. And you do the same for us, because we are all in this mess together. There is no rush to the finish line to get first prize, because all that is at the end of the line is Home where we belong, so wherever I can, I will carry you, just as you will me. What will be interesting is how this shift in the unseen will touch us in the seen. How will this wave touch us, because touch us it will.
  5. If you ask me what is the silence, it is the stillness/state of the Infinite – this is what is real. What the illusion is, is frequencies – particles in motion. The one is solid and all that is , and the other is a bubble that became trapped in this all. For how long now I have been in a bad way. Always I have been lost and alone, but over the last few years, cumulating in the last few days, I have been in a bad way, and now I understand why. Within me is Consciousness that wants to break free of this place and just be, but it cannot just be because the illusion is not its home and where it belongs. Take a fish out of water and tell the fish this is where they belong – on dry land – and see how long they last. So within us is this turmoil, where we the spirit and body form do our best within the illusion, but we have forgotten about the Consciousness that is the real us, just as this Consciousness forgot its true self, where it was, and where it belongs. The turmoil within me and so many out there is their Consciousness now know what they are, yet the world of the spirit and body form are alien to them, where this illusion is not the Home of Consciousness. And this conflict of I want to stay and help, yet I cannot exist in this illusion, is what causes a restless and troubled body form, spirit and Consciousness, and this awful state cannot carry on. Your home that is you Consciousness is the stillness of the silence, where there are no frequencies, where from this state you alter/transform the frequencies around you, and this is what you call playing with the illusion. This is where Consciousness plants the stepping stones to uplift itself and the spirit and body form, where Consciousness is the driver of the spirit and body. But what is left, is the turmoil within, where Consciousness feels like a fish out of water in the illusion, so this is where understanding is met, where Consciousness understands that the spirit and body form are literally just that – a vehicle to drive it and the spirit and body form out of the illusion. We are talking about team play here, where the three have to be in sync with each other. What this means, is doing what you want when you want is not an option. All three – Consciousness; the spirit; the dense body form – all three consider each other and work as one, because now it is not just you the body form, or just Consciousness by itself. What we all need to understand is that we truly do not know. Every decision is a 50/50, where we don’t know if we will make the right choice or not. Going with your instinct or gut feel is not an option, because what worked in the past will not apply now, the reason being is that Consciousness who is our leader has forgotten this Home of the silence, so every step forwards is a “I don’t know.” Are we going back into the illusion, or are we going into a less dense state, where this density becomes no more until all that is left is no frequency? This is where integrity and self-respect come into play, where you truly only want the best for those around you, namely Consciousness, the spirit and body form. So if you are the dense body form, you want the best for the spirit and Consciousness, and the same can be said for the other two. So I don’t know, but what I do know is I want the best for you. You also don’t know, but you want the best for me, and so it goes, where between the three of them, the best way forwards will be chosen. Will you make a mistake? –That is irrelevant, because any mistake will be quickly corrected by the force of the three that stands behind the error. So keep your side clean. Life overwhelms me, and my contribution to my spirit and Consciousness is zero right now, because I need help and am not in a position to help, but what I do is have the understanding that things will be okay. I don’t go and sit in a corner feeling sorry for myself. I this Steven truly knows nothing, so how can I say that things will be okay? The answer is we are returning to what is normal. We are not trying to build something new – all we are doing is returning to what we naturally are. That state is there, we just have to be guided back to where it is, and that is how I know everything will be okay, because what you and I are is waiting for us to find it, and where it is, is within us. Our job is to make what we are less dense, where we peel away the layers of density to return to our original state. So it is you with you, where the journey is a personal one. What I need to come my way as a stepping stone may not apply to you, and vica versa, but what is important is the end result, where my spirit and Consciousness sees yours, and in seeing what I am – what I should be – that is where the true transformations take place, and that is how we all help ourselves out of this mess. When I heal the animals I show them the spirit and Consciousness what is normal, and by them seeing the normal, the abnormal is wiped away from their space. And so too, when I see you, you have something that I don’t, and that uplifts me to be like you, which is a state where we are one with the all that is the Infinite. But it starts with me, and it starts with you, where we do our best to help the package that is us, which is the trio of the dense body form, the spirit and Consciousness. Listen to your good heart. Is what you are doing and saying to uplift? The truth is the truth, but not everyone is ready to hear the truth, where what you say will come across as callous and cruel. So Consciousness brings forth those that are ready to hear your truth, just as you are ready to hear theirs. Please understand that what I am talking about here is work and commitment until we are on a platform where we go with the flow of the Infinite, where now the trio no longer need to paddle the boat as the flow of the stream is taking them. Also understand how close we are to our natural state – it is but a thin veil that separates us the ignorant from what is real. Take away one or two boulders and you already start to feel the spray from the Infinite. It is about teamwork, and from this team the collective of the all are assisted, where we help each other by showing others what we naturally are. In us they see themselves, just as we see ourselves in them. All of this sounds great, and it is the truth, but I feel we are so floored by what we have been through that we need a helping hand – a push to get our momentum going. This push has happened on the unseen realms, where there has been a split/shift between those that like playing it rough and those that just want to return Home and be at peace. What will give this push an added shove is when those in the unseen give us in the seen/dense realms a helping hand. Some will call this Divine Intervention, but it is not. What it is, is the trio looking out for each other, where the unseen spirit and Consciousness look after the seen dense body form, as we are the dead-weight of the three. Help us, so that we may help ourselves, as well as return the help to the spirit and Consciousness. How we also help is fulfilling our role of the vehicle, where through us, the spirit and Consciousness may help others. How awkward is it for us to give a complement to others? Why do we so seldom say “thank you?” When last did you give a smile to a total stranger because they needed to see a ray of Love in this grey place? That is how far we have fallen; that is how detached we have become from our brothers and sisters around us. We do not see the Beauty in others because it has been absent from our lives for so long. There is work to be done, and we are working towards the most natural state there is, because it is all that there is. Be yourself. Be what you naturally are. Be Love. Shine. We need to let go and get out the way so that the other two in the trio may make their presence felt to us. Understand you know nothing, because you truly do, so open yourself up to those that truly Love you and only want the best for you. Together we will get there, as there is nowhere else to go but to where we belong. 9/9/2023
  6. Over the last few days when I thought of my deceased mother, that’s when I knew I was in a bad way. My mom loved me, but she never had the capacity to express that love. Life put her in a tumble dryer, pushed super-spin mode, and my mom came out worse for the wear. Somewhere within she loved me and only wanted the best for me, but what really made her stand out was that she was not intentionally cruel towards me. Fair enough, her fucked up status threw me for a wobbly, but she always meant well, even though this seldom came through. Over the last few days I thought of my mom, where I held onto that love within her that she had for me, because as I began to drown in this awful place I needed a life-line to hold onto which I found within her. The point to make is we have all been touched by the cruelty of Life, so allow yourself time to heal. Your Consciousness is in a place and space where this is possible, so allow it to once again become a whole, rounded being, where from there it may shine upon us the spirit and body form. As you heal, rise up and embrace the stepping stones placed around you so that you may find the Beauty that has always been there that we never had the capacity to see as we were playing the Game of survival. It is natural to Love and be Loved, as this is who we are, and this is all that there is. What tomorrow brings I cannot say, but I know we are in a space from where we can heal and unfold into what we are. And if not, that’s also okay, because that obstacle will also be faced and understood and overcome until we are where we belong. But for now, let us heal.
  7. This morning as I got dressed and ready for the day a feeling of devastation filled me. There was a feeling that was bigger than me, and when I felt it and understood what I was feeling, I felt devastated. What I came to understand – what this feeling within me was – was that I can no longer be in the space of those whom I have loved for so long who felt it was their God-given right to destroy me so that they may feel better than themselves. To those whose self-esteem is so low that they have to destroy, so that they may be above those they destroyed, and by being above them, they feel better about themselves – to these the shift has begun, where there is something bigger than us that has sheared us away from the presence of the cruel and unkind. When Queen Semiramis saw the Beautiful place Sophia had created for the Dragon spirits, she too wished for such a Beautiful place for the Serpent spirits, so she created/imagined the illusionary Garden. The illusion was not called a Garden for nothing, because like in all gardens, the frequencies within this illusionary realm grew, where in our moments of play, we made these frequencies manifest to what we wished them to be. Within you and me the spirit and body form are the frequencies of the illusion, and believe you me, they are always there. Why do think the cruel have such power within the illusion? – It is because the frequency of the illusion has grown strong within them. The crueler you are, the bigger and stronger is the frequencies of the illusion within you. And that is why for so many, they cannot alter what they are, because within them has grown frequencies that they cannot get rid of. Why do so many trauma victims remain scarred for lifetimes? – Because that disharmonious frequency that touched them has grown within them and cannot be pulled from their space. Sometime during the course of the day, I took two minutes to sit in the silence and reflect. What I felt was frequencies of what felt like plants that had grown within me being withdrawn from my space. Inside you and me is a Garden of illusionary frequencies that firmly plant us within this illusionary realm, and I felt earlier how they left my space. This is the shift, where the natural can no longer blend with the unnatural. The rift/shift has begun, where the one ship goes the one way, and the other goes in the opposite direction, and before we know it, the ship that we crossed paths with is no longer in sight. When this happens one does not feel joy – one feels devastation, because how different it could have been if others could only have been kind. What an absolute disaster that the natural and unnatural; the harmonious and disharmonious, are no longer intertwined, and I say this because one always give another the benefit of the doubt, but realistically, if the spirits don’t get it now, they never will. We have had our opportunities at redemption, and yet we lived where we believed there would truly never be consequences for our actions. How foolish we have been, where we embraced cruelty and made it our own, where we believed that this was okay. I destroy you, and this is okay. I cannot comprehend the reasoning of such spirits. What happens from here is out of your hands and mine. My life, and yours, has shifted by something bigger than us, and I would call this our Consciousness. It is coming unto its own and merely being, and this naturally takes Consciousness to where it belongs, where now oil and water no longer blend together to create a cesspit of madness and sorrow. Now to each their own, and as said, this is beyond you and me the spirit and body form. The pieces are moving on the chess board and we have no control over them. Order is happening in the Garden, and Chaos has left on another ship that has departed our space. What a bunch of fools. Why did they not listen to their Consciousness? What fun is there in being cruel, where their cruelty uplifts them as the illusionary Garden within them becomes stronger? What happens to them I don’t know, but I will say one thing – they will reminisce of what they had within them and those around them, and by no longer having this Love in their presence, they will understand what they had and so foolishly threw away. In that moment they will weep, where they know they are alone in a cruel place, where you don’t destroy this Love that is, because it is all we had – which was each other. Alone on that ship the might of the illusion is no longer within them, because this might could only be inflicted by those with the same Garden/illusion growing within them. Now they are alone unto themselves, where they see their power for what is it, which is just an illusionary frequencies, and sadly there is nothing you and I can do to help because we are no longer in their space. That is devastating, and that devastation I felt this morning.
  8. What does a dummy do who has been lost unto itself and its Home when it awakens unto itself? The answer is it is clueless unto itself, the vehicles of the spirit and body forms in which it resides, as well as the spaces/worlds in which it finds itself. Last night as I slept I saw the state of Consciousness, and it was clueless unto itself and where it found itself. When we say merely “be,” we imply just that – be what you are; do nothing but merely shine. This is easier said than done when you have been lost for so long, but there is one foolproof way that allows you to reveal and express your true self, and that is to know you are Home, because when you are in the presence of your Home, you sit back and merely be, as your Home is an expression of you. Thus for Consciousness to know and be itself, and from there express itself, it has to know at all times it is Home, which is the presence of the Infinite. So what is this Infinite that is everywhere – these fields of Infinite Love? What defines a Home? It is a state of being where you know you are where you belong. When you are there, you automatically know you have been here before, and there is no other place but where you are. It is a place of belonging – not of comfort and security – where you know that this is you. There is no beginning and no end because your Home is all that is. It is an extension; an expression of what you are, as you and it cannot be separated from each other. Your Home is you, and you are it. Where is this place? How do we find it, where by being in our Home we may be what we are? Well, for one, you won’t find this place in the dense physical realm or the spirit realm. In the realms of the illusion you become a tortoise, where you carry your Home on your back, where this shell reminds you what is real in the fakery of the illusion. The Infinite is the space of the silence where there is nothing to do or say as where you are is everything and what you are. Here there is nothing to ask or places to go to. What is here is a state of knowing you are everything that will ever be. It is a place of Love, where you humbly give thanks for being, and being able to express yourself. Consciousness becomes still unto itself, and in this space is its Home, where now it can begin to walk and be. Don’t limit yourself by holding back and trying to fit into the illusion – merely be what you are. You are a representative of the All from the fields of Infinite Love, so stand proud unto yourself, where you know yourself, and from there be this state. It is the simplest and most natural task there is because there is nothing else but what you are and where you belong. Yesterday I understood that we the spirit and body form have forsaken our identity and agenda to Consciousness. The reality hit me yesterday that Consciousness is the driver of us the spirit and body form vehicles. It was lost in its new role, hence this pep-talk so that Consciousness may bloom unto itself. We the spirit and body form may be on the back seat while Consciousness drives us around, and here we let go and enjoy the ride with our integrity and self-respect built into the framework of the vehicle. Remember, you are an expression of Consciousness, so always be an expression of Love. Go back to being a child, where innocence and play defines you. As for this Steven, I have never had a place to call home, where I can lay down my hat and merely be. Thus in this lifetime it has been so important to me that I find that place I have never had. What I never knew was the Home within had to be found first, and that Home meant nothing unless it was filled by an occupant – that being Consciousness in its awakened state. May our dummy no longer be a dummy, because for one this Steven is tired of being a dummy. Consciousness has awoken unto itself, and from here may it see and know itself by being in its Home. This happens now, and may the knock-on effect of that phenomena touch us the spirit and body form. May we find our home in this crazy place, and from there may we express the Consciousness and Infinite that are within and without us that is us. 6/9/2023
  9. The implanted dream last night was of me playing in a badmington match. The setting was a kind of a country fare, with people mingling all around us. This game was important – the scores were close, and yet there were distractions from the people walking around, as well as those who were waiting their turn to play, so I had to really focus on what was going on. Each point counted, and I gave this game my all. Then I thought of our cat Gypsey lying next to me, and I wondered if she was covered properly as the night air was cool, so I pulled away from this important game in this implanted dream, and as my body that lay in bed swung around to check on Gypsey, I saw through my Third Eye the one who implanted the dream. There she was, as clear as daylight, and I saw her in her entirety, from top of her head to her toes. She was a larger than life Pixie – a faerie with wings, and what made her really stand out was the markings on her body and wings. One understood that these markings were unique to her, just as each zebra has its own markings that are its unique fingerprint. She just hovered there in midair as I looked at her and she at me, and then I understood that the implanted dreams that we are more often than not made to forget, are more than just a means to extract energy from us to feed the Beasts that rule over us. “Look there!” Wherever I tell you to look – that spot has your attention, so whatever you were doing is no longer important as your focus of attention has shifted to elsewhere. That pixie was making sure my Consciousness was focused on the Game of the illusion rather than the Infinite that is. By giving attention to the illusion and its ways keeps us here, as what we are focusing on shuts out everything else that is out of our periphery. It will be really interesting to see ourselves – to see how those from the shadows have imprisoned us. Years back I heard the story where in some Asian country the delicacy was eating monkeys brains, where the monkeys were subdued, their skull caps taken off, and while they were still alive, their brains were eaten. I don’t know how true this story is, but somehow, somewhere, these Beasts have us subdued, where with the flick of a switch access is granted into our subconscious, and from there a story/dream is interwoven to which Consciousness becomes drawn to like a moth to a flame. This story which I am telling you about now, of implanted dreams, is true, and night after night, from one lifetime to the next, we are kept trapped in this illusion by focusing on what is around us, and when we sleep, on what is implanted within us. Not so flattering is our existence ‘ey? So what Consciousness does is focus on the Infinite that it is within and without, and from there it goes into the stillness of the silence to merely be. Be what you are by knowing what you are, as well as knowing where you are. Everywhere, especially here in the illusion, lies the Infinite. You connect to this – where this process is natural and effortless – and everything that has been done to limit and enslave us is undone, as disharmony cannot exist in the space of harmony. How does our Consciousness know what is real and what is not? Do we need those jewels that are scattered around us, or do we move towards the lamp wherein there is nothing but the silence and the all? Sitting on my couch all day whilst I focus on nothing will get me nothing. The focus of Consciousness, as well as the spirit, is the Infinite, as in Homeward bound. Where we are now is in a really bad place, where the illusion and its Beasts have enslaved us, so we need stepping stones out of the quicksand that we have drowned within a long time ago. So through the stillness of the silence Consciousness is drawn to what will uplift it and the spirit and body form. When Consciousness touches these upliftment states, it is like a spark going off within. Remember why Consciousness was drawn out of the stillness of the silence of the All – it was brought forth to play and experience the wonders that it is. We use this same principle to draw us out of the dense illusion, where Consciousness is drawn to states of play/upliftment, and this picks us up and away from this illusion in which we became lost and forgot ourselves. So keep in the silence, and when you feel an upliftment that is for you and all, then hold onto it and make it your own. How you know it is an upliftment is when the state brings joy to you, and this joy can from you be passed to the all where it uplifts them as well. Know what is real, and what is a trap. What is real is being in a state of permanent bliss. If you are drawn to focus on something, where this focus shuts out everything else; where what you see or do is not inclusive of the all, then that is a trap. To Consciousness and the spirit – just be what you are. You are street-smart to the Game, so just let go and be. Give the illusion a miss and just be what you are, and this will draw you to the Infinite that is, and when you are one with your Home, that is when everything that should not be within and without falls apart, and all that is left is you. From there just be you.
  10. The focus of the spirit and Consciousness is towards the Infinite. Please do not take lightly the importance of that statement, because part of being lost, which Consciousness and the spirit has been for so long, is not knowing where you are and where you belong. Up till now we have been doing our best as we go with the flow of the illusion, where failure was certain because we were going in the wrong direction. With every high we will get ten lows until there are no more highs as we are so deeply embedded within the illusion, where the Reptilian frequency touches us and encroaches on our space. I would say we are already there, where the last remaining wall of normality has been broken down to reveal the brute, cruel harshness of what has always dwelled from the shadows. Now we have turned our back on these ways, where our focus is Homeward bound. It is vital Consciousness and the spirit remember this at all times, where now they walk Homeward bound. Along the way stepping stones are laid to make their existence more comfortable, meaning we return to what naturally is. Strife and uncertainty are not natural. Knowing who we are and where we are headed that is Home is natural. At all times, the focus of the spirit and Consciousness is where we are and where we belong, and this keeps us on the path to the flow of the Infinite that naturally is. 3rd September, 2023
  11. There are three specific categories of realms that I know of. The first being the dense physical realms of the illusion, where we the body forms find ourselves, and there are many physical worlds out there. The second realm being the spirit realm, where when the physical body dies the spirit leaves the body permanently to move to this less dense spirit realm; and the third being the realm where the Beasts dwell, where those know the Game and the System for what it is, where survive and do what you want when you want because you can. We can call this third realm the Reptilian realm, where you embrace that you are fucked up and cruel and go with the flow of your fellow brothers and sisters to rock until you disappear into The Nothingness of the Forgotten, and maybe this Nothingness can be called a fourth realm of the dead-dead, where you forget yourself unto yourself, but it is the first three we would like to talk about. Our dense body realm and the Reptilian realm is where reality bites – where you have to knuckle down and survive, otherwise you literally wither away and die. The spirit realm is La-La land, with I am sure its great halls and spaces of splendour, where this is what we on the dense body realm strive towards – to climb the ladder in this realm to become closer to our god. And believe you me, this place is impressive – it is Beautiful beyond. Just a pity this spirit realm is an illusion and ruled from the shadows by cruel Beasts. So what makes this spirit realm different from the other two? – The answer is there you don’t have to eat – no need to pop down to the corner café and score a cheeseburger and chips, because here everything is sorted, where we bide our time until we fall back into the Gladiators arena of the dense body realm to learn. I write what I write now because last night in my sleep state I was shown someone from the Reptilian frequency eating. This guy was not just eating as you and I would when we sit down to a meal, he was eating as he was famished, and what he ate was needed to sustain him – it was a matter of life and death. So the question you have to ask, is what is the difference between the spirit realm compared to the dense body realm and the Reptilian realm? What does the spirit realm have where eating is not necessary, compared to the other two realms where you don’t eat you die? Now that is a good question to ask, because to control food is to control Life as food/energy is needed for Life, or so we thought. Years ago I confirmed that the spirit realm doesn’t eat by proposing the subject to a brilliant Animal Communicator, who connected to the animal spirits and heard what they had to say. She said that the spirit animals told her there was no need to eat where they were, and this I believe because the spirit realm is an exalted space, where making food, eating, doing the dishes, and then going for a dump afterwards is not on the script for such a place. This place is truly ethereal and Beauty, where such mediocrities and primitive traits are not on their agenda. How is the spirit in the spirit realm fooled into not having to eat, compared to the other two realms where eating is surviving to live? When the spirit leaves the body permanently, it leaves the ways of the world behind, where strife is no more. This the spirit is aware of, where now it goes to a better place to meet loved ones who have already crossed over. What the spirit realm has that the other two don’t have is a sense of false perspective, where we believe where we are we don’t need, and this is true, because this frequency is much less dense than from where we came. In the Reptilian realm, you see things for what they are, where now you not only see your realm, but also the spirit and body realm, where you understand how all are connected. In this realm you see the illusion for what it is, which is truly a Hell, because Life is going against what naturally should be, which is the Love of the Infinite within and without. The illusion has lost touch with the base foundation of what naturally is, meaning everything is flowing in the opposite direction, and this requires effort, as in energy/food, lest we wither away and die. The Beasts – the cruel ones that embrace their cruelty – understand that playing the illusion comes at a price, which is you have to eat to sustain your unnatural flow away from what should naturally be. How often have I been awoken as I sleep to see through my Third Eye how a couple hovering above me are getting it off, where my proximity to their sex act arouses me in bed, so that I may release an orgasm to feed them my energy. Around some pools of water, especially some places where the sea flows, there dwell powerful Reptilian spirits, where their power demands huge swathes of energy, so we the body forms are touched by their presence which enhances the sex drive within us almost to a state of frenzy. I have seen these Beasts and been touched by their presence, and not a damn would I give into their demands. The closer we are to reality, and this reality is one few have the courage to face – that Life for so many is truly shit – the more we touch base with the fact we have to take to sustain ourselves. But what if we understood all the realms of the illusion, and more importantly, what if we understood ourselves, that we are Consciousness whose Home is not in these realms but the Infinite? Surely we would be like those in the spirit realm, but without their false perspective, where we see we have been going in the opposite direction to what naturally is, and this reversal to what should be removes from us the primitive act of killing so that we may live. You are not becoming a bunny-hugger and vegan; what you are becoming is a transformation of you the biological computer, where within you is no longer this necessity to take to survive. My take on eating is it is more of a social event where people come together to share the joy of each other’s company. The bugger up is others have to die, where their blood is shed so we can eat from their flesh in order to have a good time. I understand not all Love the animals as I do. That same Animal Communicator that understands the animals and their elevated – unconditional love – status compared to ours eats them as well. Her argument is the plants also have feelings and yet we eat them, and she is correct. But this is not what I am talking about. What I speak of is de-evolving to what we should be, where we understand that on the path back Home and to what we should be that we are above the need to satiate ourselves with the ways of the illusionary Hell in which we found ourselves. The spirit in the spirit realm is correct – we do not have to take to eat. But let’s take this one step further, where the spirit no longer returns to the ways of the dense frequency of the illusion, where we move forwards Homewards bound to what we are and where we belong. This transition is an altered mindset; now it is not so much about killing and taking to survive, it is about swinging the ball back in the direction to what we naturally are, where we are above the primitive ways of the illusion. That is what understanding does – it allows you to see where you are and what you have always done, and from there know where you should be and what you are. We don’t need the flesh of the animals and plants to survive or have a good time. What we need is an understanding of ourselves. So please understand there is no need to go out now and burn your bra and walk around barefoot hugging each tree you see. I am talking about shifting the perspective of the spirit to what is real so that this repetitive loop of survival is broken. See the big picture – where you are, and where you belong, and this most certainly is not within the illusion. From day one I have said that this journal is for adults, where you read what is written, and from there you decide what is best, for yourself and for all. Uplift yourself so that you may pass a helping hand to those that need your help, and one day they will help you as you helped them because we all need help. As an adult, transform your perspective by knowing what you are and what is real, and this transformation is done by letting go to what naturally is. Allow the Infinite to touch you. Past this thin veil of the illusion lies what is real. Allow the curtain of the illusion to rise up to the see the stage of what is. That is you and where you belong. Always find an excuse to have fun and be at peace, as this is an expression of the Consciousness that you are, but let’s stop doing it at the expense of others. Nature and the Animals are entitled to Life, just as we are. One night my spirit found itself in a world where I was chased and hunted by a fox swinging a lasso, so I talk for all – for the hunter that is the hunted in other worlds. We all need to stop this nonsense – the primitive ways of the illusion, and how this is stopped is by changing our perspective. If we are all Consciousness and one, then let’s start living this state, where we willfully turn around and go in the opposite direction to where we were headed. Go back to what you are. We do not need the illusion with its primitive cruel ways. We need to start expressing what we are, where we embrace the Infinite that is everywhere,
  12. Ask yourself what gave the bully power, status and an unwritten law that they hold sway over their kingdom, be it the school yard or the illusion itself. Love should override all, but in the space of a runt who believed they are better than you, this Love is squashed and suppressed to the point where it became useless/obsolete. Fair enough, Consciousness became deceived to be lost and not know itself, but what gave the illusion power where anything goes, where pure savagery spread unchecked and unanswered to? We always imagined this cruel might to be the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, but there is something else, where the heartless made the Love of the innocent obsolete by merely being in their presence. The answer is logical, where oil and water don’t mix. The innocent do not belong in the presence of the brute, because the innocent are kind and pure, and the brute is heartless, bombastic and inconsiderate. So what should naturally happen, is the two states move apart because they are not compatible, and remember we are talking about frequencies and not a physical state. The frequency of Love is not the same as the frequency of the Beast, where they are on different waveforms, and yet the Beast managed to superimpose its frequency upon the innocent to suppress them. So as logical as the answer might seem, there is something there that should not be, and this I intend to discover now. What do the heartless have that keeps the illusion and those that dwell therein suppressed? The answer comes back to their proximity to our space. We could never leave this place because we were lost, so we had our backs to the wall while the sharks swam in our waters and intimidated us with their presence. And just to keep our fear heightened, they would attack now and then so we may know our place. So it was a few factors: Trapped in an illusion with nowhere to go; having to share the space of those we are not compatible with; Beasts intimidating us, which created an element of fear within us, and this fear frequency within us is what allowed the Beast to breach into our space and do with our Love frequency what they wanted. One has to make the frequency of the Beast obsolete, so when in our space, they have no influence over us. What their frequency is, which is one we do not know, which makes us fearful, is a heartless frequency, where I squash and suppress and destroy just because I can. Their heart field is a bottomless pit made of stone, where there is no Love/kindness/empathy/consideration – not least for themselves, because ultimately they destroy themselves by moving further and further away from the Love that they are. So this stone-cold, heartless frequency is removed from our space, where in the past it touched and tainted us, now it passes right through us by us knowing it is there and has no place in our existence. Where too from here now? – We rise up to where we belong, where we may merely be, where our Love frequency is untouched, thus always remaining pure. So be it. (We never knew of this link of fear, where through us not knowing this heartless state of the Beast, we feared what we did not know. Now we know of it, where we look it in the eye and know this is not us, so it passes right through us as we rise to our natural state of Love.) 2nd September, 2023
  13. The question you have to ask is how do people change? How do we become better than what we are? How do we become kind – considerate? Isn’t is normal to think about others and not just yourself? Surely there is no better feeling than uplifting others, where you crossed their path for only a moment and made them understand what it feels like to once again be Human? Why do we so easily hate and so seldom Love? Is there an answer to such a question? What will it take to swing us back to what we naturally are? I would say a catastrophe, where we are stripped of all we have and all we have become so that we may see and know ourselves – what disgusting beings we have become. I say a catastrophe because few truly wants to change, where we are too busy making sure we are okay. I wish no harm to anyone, because this is who and what I am. But when, and how, will the ways of the illusion end? How low we have fallen. What a bunch of spineless cowards we are. There was a fall of a Creator beyond her realm, which led to an impact zone from which the Serpents arose, and this was all okay, because mistakes can happen, but what happened was the spirits became tainted and turned into cockroaches, and these little pests became out of control, where even the gods and a Creator could not keep them in line. Through that swarm of insects you saw Steven, but with time Steven didn’t like being just another of the colony, as I knew there was so much more for all of us, and so I began to “evolve,” meaning I just wanted to become better than what I was. How many out there feel the same, where they want to live in peace and harmony and consideration within this illusion? It blows me away how fucked up those all around me have become – in the seen and unseen. This is truly an awful place to be. So what will change, where we of the illusion change, because what is out there is abnormal. This is truly an awful place. I have changed, where for myself, I have become better than what I was, and this was for me, because I knew it was never just about me. There is a big world out there, and by me being happy and knowing myself, I may embrace and absorb the Beauty in our midst. But I was wrong, because the place does not define us – it is what is in our hearts. Look into the hearts of others and you will see there is nothing there, and this rattles me – that we have become inhumane, where destruction and brute force course through our veins. And then there is the spineless, where I keep quiet and pretend that what is staring me in the face does not exist. These are the wasted spaces; the ones that allow the inhumane to own our existence. Kindness will not transform the illusion, because we have never been interested in this state of consideration, where it is not just about me, but also you. So what will transform us the dense frequency cockroaches; the ones that take for me so fuck you? I don’t know – I am not a God or a Creator. But whatever these fools have in mind, bring it on. Where we are and what we have become is beyond shameful. We are a disgrace to all beings of Love. Who in their right mind would want to associate with us the savage? Whatever Sophia and Semiramis have in mind – bring it on. I am ready. I know what I am – I am Love; I am kindness; I am consideration, and that will be enough to withstand whatever comes my way.
  14. Now when you sleep, you are surrounded by a state of Consciousness. Woke up this morning to begin the Dad chores for the day, and then momentarily fell asleep again. Through my Third Eye saw what looked like an elaborate piece of silver with a skull emblazed within a part of the silver plate. Then I saw him – the one who came riding on the deer a few nights back. He looked just like Skeletor, and he had his back to me, showing me shoulders and a torso of steel. To call this man a brute is uncalled for and childish. What he is, is Death and Destruction. He is the muscle of the Demiurge. He is also your brother and mine. He is a friend. We cannot judge, because we have not lived an existence trying to sort this mess out. If somebody fucks up, you take them out of the equation, because with them in the sum you will never get a healthy outcome. And that is what this Man of Death done. You could call him the one you meet on Judgment Day – if you believe in such matters. He is my friend, and I will always be there for him. What the System needs is for Consciousness to breathe Life into it. So many of us are tired, and so many are reveling in their insanity and stupidity. The more we fall; the denser we and Life becomes, the harder we party. Life is one big blast – a helter-skelter where anything goes. No rules brother, just anarchy. This is the wasted spaces that need a reality check of who and what they are – the ones who think they have an answer to everything. They never had a Daddy to show them morals and integrity, where they rode the wave of this shit-show and called it home. Consciousness needs to breathe Life into all so that the transition to what is goes smoothly, otherwise there will be a rumble in the park. It is not just about you. It is not just about me. Somewhere along the line we got it wrong – we are not meant to destroy each other; we are meant to uplift one another; to make your Life joyous; to find that magic in that wonder called Life. Somewhere along the line the sorrow of others appealed to us – this was our norm. Can you see how far we have drifted from what we naturally are? There will be a wake-up-shake-up, and I say so because this journal has changed everything within the illusion, meaning what was can no longer continue to be. Consciousness is growing and being with each passing moment, and when it pops unto itself there will be a ripple that will touch all. Either you ride this wave, where it uplifts you, or it tumbles and floors you. What will determine your future or fate is what you are within. Do you care, or don’t you? Do you want the best for others and yourself, or do you want to destroy? That friend of mine that we call Death, now he walks away, where Consciousness takes over. We are tired, and need to be uplifted to where we belong. So be it.
  15. Everything I write in this journal is for one goal, and that is to be what we are meant to be. Not asking too much, is it? All I ask is to be me, not some watered-down silly that drifts between the highs and lows that Life throws at us. I ask just to live – to feel the Life that is the Infinite and me. Last night during sleep I looked for those that came into my space, but nobody came. We have always only known the presence and the way of the Beast, but last night they were absent from our existence. Does this mark the beginning of a new chapter? We will see how Life now unfolds, where Life itself will answer that question.
  16. There is no ways Consciousness can be such a dummy. Something is still holding it down, and I intend to find out now what it is. If this dude/dudess shone a fraction of a fraction of what it was, what you and I the spirit and body form are would be over in the moment, as would the world that we knew when we touch it. So what is the chain; what is the drug; what is the lie, the deceit, that is still keeping Consciousness down? You don’t breathe, you die. You the body form need the particles around you that you cannot see or touch. What this air is, is so simple and basic – it is something we take for granted, where we never even consider it, and yet without it, we are goners in just a few minutes. So what does Consciousness need, where without it, it is a dummy that is helpless to Beasts that come and prey on the spirit and the body form, where Consciousness can do nothing against this scum that feed off the helpless slaves? The answer is The Tree of Life. What is this Tree? It is a space, that when saturated, as in comes together with intent, that creates the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness that is Consciousness. We have known of this “Tree” for years, and we have connected Consciousness to it through our intent, so what is the problem? What is this basic – this God-given right within Consciousness – that has been taken away from it? When I go into the space of Consciousness, I feel it located at our throat area. When I go into the space of The Tree of Life, you feel this presence that merely is – it is you and me and within everything; it is the air that Consciousness is. Now you go into the space of Consciousness and the Tree, and the two don’t gel, where the one does not know the other exists – they pass over each other and do not interact and fuse as one. How did these Beasts that control the Game do such a thing, where instead of joining forces, the Tree and Consciousness oppose each other? What is there that should not be there? They inverted the state of the Tree. You cannot such out the Infinite from entering the illusion, so when the essence of the Tree enters the illusion, you swing this frequency over to the complete opposite to what it should be. You see it; you know it, and then you invert this state to become the complete different state it should be within the illusion. One cannot change the Infinite, because it is what it is, but within the illusion the state of the Infinite becomes a frequency, and this frequency you bend to what you want it to be. It’s the same with Consciousness, where in the fields of Infinite Love it is what it is, but here in the illusion nothing is real, so what you see you can manipulate. And that is how they separated Consciousness from Home, where they swung the essence of the Infinite that we call The Tree of Life to the complete opposite to what it should be. That is how Beasts enter your space and mine and play with us, where we are helpless to them. The Life-essence of Consciousness was inverted to be the complete opposite to what it should be, which killed off Consciousness, as this essence was the air it breathed. We return the essence of the Tree within the illusion to what it should be, where now it may feed and be compatible to Consciousness. Proof of the pudding will what comes tonight in my sleep state. Do we have our armour back; are we what we are, which naturally repels disharmony as this state has no place in our existence? Let’s see what comes tonight in our sleep state. What happens to me happens to you – we are all in this Game together, and may this no longer be the case, where we are played by Beasts. 27/08/2023
  17. Went to bed late last night. Someone far away was playing loud music. All you heard was the bass sound – it sounded like a fist banging against the wall. Got out of bed and went downstairs to sleep on the couch, hoping not to hear the noise there. Heard it, and somehow fell asleep. (Surely there must be a place in this frequency where the scum of the earth don’t dwell.) Woke up during the night on the couch and went back to bed. The implanted dream was ridiculously stupid. There was a long, thick hair extending out of my nose, and with both hands, pulling as hard as I can, I battled to extract this hair from my nose. Woke up from the implanted dream and saw this large deer standing next to my bed. It was one of another world, where the face had markings and extensions unknown to us. I thought to myself what a beautiful sight – this wondrous animal standing next to me. It moved towards me and began to eat the energy around my head that had accumulated from me following the implanted dream. So there I was, lying in bed, watching while this deer from another world was feeding from my energy. Then I felt the presence of the rider. Someone was riding this animal, and it was their choice to remain in the shadows where I could not see them, but momentarily he leaned forward in his seat and I got a glimpse of him. He looked like Skeletor from the kids animation series He-Man that was on television about forty years ago. There was so much activity around me, where those around me began fiddling with me, where I don’t know what they done. It is a real pity I battled to fall asleep as a result of the scum and spineless that are found in many places, but not all. I would have liked to see what these beings done to me – I can’t imagine it to be good, because if it was, there would be no reason to hide yourself from me. But I don’t know – am just assuming. What I do know is Consciousness will find and know itself. This innocent dummy needs to grow up and be. Suffering and survival is not the norm. Know yourself. Know what you are. Go within, and not without to the illusion. Be.
  18. Don’t remember what the implanted dream was about – something short and sweet and not too complicated. Woke up to the activity around me, and through my Third Eye saw these long, thin snakes coming towards me the spirit and body form as I lay in bed sleeping. They settled around my head, and from there began lunging – shooting forth – taking bits of my energy that accumulated from me following their implanted dream. From there, I threw a hard-arse move, where I held onto my energy so they could not feed from it. If they asked, would have gladly given, but don’t take where you expect. In response to my hard-arse move, they gave me one better. I was taken into another implanted dream, and this one they made sure I remember. I was talking to someone, and next to us was a cat meowing in a tree. The cat climbed down the tree, and walked around us onto what looked like a stage. Then a large breed dog came running around me and grabbed the cat. I could see how the cat was being crushed in the mouth of the dog. Tried to get to the cat crying out in pain, where I wanted to run as fast as I could before the damage done to the cat was irreparable, but in this implanted dream they made sure I couldn’t move forwards to assist. That was their “Fuck you Steven!” The world; the illusion, is a simulation, as are our dreams. It is all an illusion, as is us the projection. Ask yourself, what are we to these beings that control the simulation? Words cannot describe their indifference to us, and maybe this is so because they see us as objects in a video game – we are not real, and they know this, so they don’t care. All that we are is a simulation in an arcade game. So what are they? Because they control our programme, does it make them independent of being controlled? What do they look like – what form do they take? What they have that you and I don’t, is they know how the Game is played. They made you and me – the biological computer and the manufactured spirit. They deceived and manipulated Consciousness, where it was dumbed down to become fascinated by a B-class soapie series on television we call Life. So what are they – these that control you and me and the illusion? To those the cruel and the evil – you are also in their game. You are not special. You do not have magical occult powers where you can summon demons and be part of their sick existence. You are just a simulation played in a Game to provide energy to keep the twisted, deranged illusion alive. How do we get these fuckers out of our space? They made you and me the spirit and body form, so they control every aspect of us. We are literally putty in their hands, where with a click of a switch our lives are altered. We are the software in their game, with the arcade machine being the illusion. How their game is changed; how it is taken over, is by Consciousness shining, where it merely be’s, where Consciousness hacks into their System and takes it over. We need to once again experience joy and happiness, where we know Life is unfolding as it should. Over the last few days I felt and saw the step down in our moral decay, where we have fallen to a denser state, where more and more, with each passing day, Goodness is being erased from our existence, where a helter-skelter; a Sodom & Gomorrah is all around us. What I am trying to say, is we have fallen to a state where we truly are fucked. We need help before any form of enlightenment can rise within us that is Consciousness. The environment of the Game is too toxic for Consciousness to spread its wings and fly, so we need to alter the game around/within us to make it a more pleasant existence. So what Consciousness does, is it hacks into the System that controls you and me and our environment. From there it shines itself into this illusionary Game so that the rot may no longer be. It does this now, and it carries on doing it until the frequency around/within Consciousness is where it may fly and soar. In other words, Consciousness raises the Game to where the game is compatible to Consciousness, because right now, we are too far gone to be able to go anywhere, but this is changing as we speak. Consciousness has taken over the controls of the Game, where the illusion is no longer run by Beasts, but rather what naturally should be, which is Infinite Love that is within you and me and the all.
  19. If you want to transplant a plant, then you have to stick your spade deep into the soil to make sure you get all its roots. And so too, if you want to impact the illusion, scrape the bottom on the barrel so that all may rise together. It was never about changing you, because I have no right to do that. It was about sharing what came to be understood why a beautiful Garden became a living hell, and in the process Consciousness became lost unto itself. We cannot see ourselves, so how we know what we are, is seeing a reflection of ourselves in others. You are me, and I am you. If I like what I see in you, then I am drawn to you – which is myself, and of course the opposite is true, where if I see a Beast, and I am not one, then I am disgusted and appalled in what I see. So what I done in writing this journal was give it to the all. Before I even knew what was to be said, the aim was to make sure it goes to all within the unseen, so that when it is complete, there are no excuses, where now you have an equal opportunity to be me, just as I have to be you. In you I see me, otherwise I am blinded unto myself. What happens if there is no one like you, causing you to drift, never finding you and your own? Well, that I have been doing for a long time, but it has never been about me – it is about you, because you are me, and if you are not happy then neither can I be. My wife really fucked me up, but there is a part of her that is also remarkable. There was no time this time around for a romance, because a job had to be done where we all once again get to know each other. Nobody else would have given me the freedom to sit at home and write a journal, placing no pressure on me whatsoever to go out there and get a job. This journal was my job, for those in the unseen, and without my wife, what you are today would never have been possible. She was the silent partner that allowed me to get on with what needed to be done. Sure, it would have been great to love someone, where the love I have in myself I see in them, but this never happened, because here in the dense physical realms we are all truly fucked up, with me always standing first in line. Now I see the stupidity of what is out there; the raw brute, and that is not me, where I want to run away because I don’t like what I see. My fucked up, intense, eldest daughter is you and me, doing her best to be happy and make the most of Life. We are all the same, and I say this because I see me in everyone out there. So what changed in writing this journal? The answer is I stopped looking for me in you, where I found me in myself, and this could only be done when I no longer became lost unto myself. Now I can get to know myself, and from there be myself. Well, what about this Divine Intervention I have always spoken about? What happens to me, happens to you, where by me helping myself, now I can help you, and so this is true of those that can help us, namely Sophia and Semiramis et al. Last night as I slept my Consciousness focused on itself, where it came to know and be itself, and what this tells us, is we are no longer lost and alone, because we can now awaken unto ourselves, bringing forth what we are in the seen and unseen, until all that is left is Consciousness. We have been searching for ourselves in others, hence the need to never be alone, and now we can rise above ourselves and be, and that for me is remarkable. It has always been about Consciousness – this Beautiful, pure crystal that became floored and cracked by the Deceit that was spread throughout the illusion; this wooden puppet that wanted to be a real boy, that wanted to embrace Life and live every moment to its fullest. May we all now know ourselves, and from there be what we are, which is joy, happiness and peace within, knowing where our Home is and where we belong. We have been deceived and lied to, and this is no longer possible, because I don’t need you to tell me what I am or what the truth is. We know ourselves, and from there we see ourselves in others, and it is there that we will make our home in the illusion until we have had enough here, and from there pass to the fields of Infinite Love. It was been an awful journey for the majority the worlds over. In knowing and being ourselves, may we experience the complete opposite of what we have, before we depart this strange, unfamiliar place. There is much beauty everywhere.
  20. When we talk about innocence – or the innocent – we are talking about Consciousness; this pure flower that was born from the Infinite. This innocence was Deceived, and this is where we throw down a question mark. Why would you deprive me of my freedom? Why take away my joy? Why destroy me? Why make me suffer? Why shame me? You have your own freedom, so why do you need mine? You have your own integrity and self-respect, so why take away mine? You have your own, and around you is a limitless supply of abundance, so why would you come into my space and destroy me when around you is the everything? We need to trace the steps back as to what happened that this illusionary playground became a battle field, with Consciousness caught slap-bang in the middle of it. Even the innocent can fall, and it is my belief that Consciousness in this illusionary Garden became addicted to Chaos – that thrill of “Oh for fucks-sakes, what now……..”; or “…….. not again!” Am I wrong in saying this? Let’s find out. Go into the stillness of the silence and into the space of Consciousness, and what you find is a mild form of intensity, where everything becomes strained, because being in the presence of Chaos is exhausting. Look past this intensity, and there is a want – a want to be part of the action; a want to miss nothing. When you look for something that should naturally not be there, you strain yourself, you focus, where you look really hard for what you want, because you expect it to be there – you want it to be there. We have spoken about addiction in the journal, and this addiction came from the take of the Parasite, from where a “want to take” arose within us, so could this wanting to be part of the action be a form of addiction within Consciousness? By looking, instead of being, Consciousness shut itself off from the everything. We became hooked into the Game, and this fucked us up, where we became narrow-minded, where this is all I want to know. It is not pleasant, but it is good enough for me. To those that wish it so, we release this will of “I want to Live and be part of the action” within Consciousness. Your focus of attention has been to an illusion you stupid fuck-nut. What you saw; what you chased; what intrigued you, was not even real, so go back to what you are. What you forgot, was this place was meant to be a playground, and slowly but surely the fun was sucked out of here, where now we had to look really hard for that bit of joy. Stop looking and start being what you are. Just let go and allow yourself to be. Go back to what is real, which is the Love that you are, because you the innocent are suffering, and this is not the norm, regardless if you are in the Infinite or an illusion. So let’s go back to the initial question: Why would we – as in evil Deceit - deprive Consciousness of its innocence? The answer is because Consciousness played in our evil Game. You play, you win or you lose, meaning eventually we all lose. So stop playing in this Game Consciousness, rather go back to you just being what you are. That is real – that is where the real action is.
  21. Applied the frequency of Mr. Stone to the Consciousness of my car. Now my car is okay - motor not dead; car works perfectly. Go figure. Today is a good day to start anew.
  22. Woke up this morning and had nothing to write in journal. Said to myself today is a good day to kick-start my life to where I move to where i belong and start being. So I sat in the stillness for a few seconds to jump-start me. Went to my car with my eldest daughter to take her to school, and the car would not start. The battery was fine, as the lights came on in the car, but the motor was completely dead. I look after my car because it has to look after me, so what was going on here? No doubt there was foul play here from the unseen, because when i went into the energy/frequency field of my car it was lifeless. Scrolled down to begin writing in the journal and my eye caught what i wrote about the cat called Mr. Stone. What is going on here, is pieces of the puzzle are being passed on as needed. This journal has no beginning, follow-through, and then end - what it is, is pieces of the puzzle that are scattered everywhere. Now the pieces are being passed to us as needed. May the piece passed on below be enough to start my car, otherwise am fucked. {Today is the 1st March 2019. Last night my soul was overpowered by what must have been at least ten statue men. They walked upright in a systematic robot fashion. They were white men, with heads that were a mix between cavemen and a horse. They overpowered me, and then took of my energy and gave it to their boss/ruler. He looked like a fat Gollum from The Lord of the Rings movie. He was a cruel bastard, who sarcastically closed his eyes and dropped his head to feign being dead, and then opened his eyes to show that now he is alive, and then proceeded to eat of my energy. My heart sank after this encounter, as after everything that has been said and done in this journal has not helped keep these beasts at bay. And this morning, just before I awoke, I saw another glimpse of my parallel word. A pair of birds that look like partridges have entered the garden of Steven, and they too were seen in his parallel world, but in his parallel world there are baby ducks that accompany these birds. Yesterday I was asked to help with this cat that was bothering the neighbors – there was something off with this cat, and when I assessed it I found nothing out the ordinary. The bottom line was that I could not help these people with their cat. This morning after waking up, I understood the big picture, and below is the letter of response to the people: Morning There have been animals that I have been asked to help in the past where I have failed them dismally. As hard as I tried, I could not assist them, and what I soon learnt was to take a step back and look at the big picture. The reality was that these animals came into my life; they crossed my path, to help me. Such is the case of Mr. Stone. My first reaction when I saw his photo was that something is not nice about this cat. I am ashamed for this, as now I understand that the only unpleasant one is Steven. I saw Mr. Stone from the eyes of a Human, and let’s face it, there isn’t much good in our species. What I saw in Mr. Stone I could not understand, so I went on the back foot and was wary of him, which bordered on dislike. This was my first unethical, unprofessional reaction to him – a typical Human reaction with all that we don’t understand. What Mr. Stone is, is a being that is way above all of us. I had my Third Eye opened five years ago, which allowed me to see the cruel beasts that rule us from the shadows. We are all in Hell, and as we are in a state that goes against the natural flow of Love, we all need energy/food to survive. So too do these beasts that rule us from the shadows. They live off of our energy, and the crueler the beast within or without us, the more energy it needs, so the meaner we become. Our nastiness comes from these beasts that rule us, as I feel that we are all inherently good, but are overpowered by beings that we cannot see or hear. I see these beasts every night, and I explain in my book how they take of our energy. I have tried everything to get them out of our space, as the more energy we hold onto, the more we can rise above this frequency cesspit in which we find ourselves, where there is so much cruelty and heartache. If we can just get these beasts that rule us from the shadows out of our space, then we can start living as we should. We are all meant to be happy; life is not meant to be a struggle, as this is not our natural state. I don’t know what I can or can’t tell you, as some people are very sensitive to anything that falls out of their parameter of thinking, but I hope you know that what I say comes from a good heart. I speak on behalf of Mr. Stone, as he was my client. I speak so that we, myself included, may understand this soul that knows more than what I will ever know. When Mr. Stone took of your energy, he was neutralizing the frustration/disharmony within you. There is Disharmony in all of us, and this is something that I have been living and breathing over the last five years – to get rid of this Disharmony, so that these beasts may no longer rule over us, so that we may once again be within the fields of Love – our natural state. Mr. Stone knows how to neutralize these beasts/Disharmony within us, but because we did not understand him, we ridiculed him and saw him as a bad/nasty cat. I am ashamed for my pathetic first response to him – it merely shows me how much I have to learn. Everyone you asked for assistance regarding Mr. Stone were correct. He is a higher being; you have met him in the past, as he has always been there to help you. The bugger up is that do we ever listen when help stares us in the face? We all need help, because Life is bloody tough, so I am thankful to Angels like Mr. Stone for coming to assist us. He has a frequency that draws the power out of these beasts and makes them null and void over our existence. It is ours to take if we want it, which I most certainly will do now. I have seen what nobody else has seen, and I have been to other worlds to find a way out of this cesspit in which we find ourselves, hoping that I will get answers to be free from this Hell. Nothing has helped; I have yet to find an answer after dedicating the last five years of my life to this quest. The answer/frequency came through a cat called Mr. Stone, and I am most thankful for this. Allow him to help you as he wants to, and make sure that he is happy. Like all of us, he wants his peace within this crazy world. Please find him a home where he belongs. Regards, Steven Taking of a frequency can best be explained in another e-mail that I wrote to a person yesterday: Hi Technology is taking us over, where everything happens at superfast speed. Us humans are being left behind as robots start doing what we always done, even complex surgery. The stress factor amongst us humans to keep up with our world is causing a breakdown of our society, especially as we feel that we are no longer contributors to the way of life. Whatever we done in the past is pretty much useless, as the digital world takes us over. So to adapt and be one step ahead of technology, one has to understand our reality. Everything is frequencies/energy. When the radio station projects the frequency of a song to your radio, the frequency has the potential to make you happy or sad, in other words, it has a direct influence on your existence. When i am in the presence of the animal patient, i project the frequency onto them that no Disharmony is allowed on their form, and this frequency is what heals. (I need at a later stage to expand on what is meant by Disharmony.) How i teach others is by giving them the frequency i project onto the animals. Its that easy. Thats the medicine of the future my friend. Thats what healed your dog. All the best, Steven If there is any sanity left in this insane world, then take of this frequency that is offered by Mr. Stone that eradicates these beasts from our existence. Take of it now so that we may no longer be suppressed by cruel beasts.} {It’s just after one thirty in the morning on the 4th March 2019. It took some time to understand what the frequency of Mr. Stone does. The numbers 666 are related to the Satanists, and according to Pierre Sabak, the numbers represent the “architectural framework” of Hell. We, the lost souls, are intertwined within the frequency of Hell; this network of a false reality permeates the body form, the soul and the spirit. As long as this structure remains intact, we are going nowhere – in other words, we are staying put in Hell. What this means is that as long as we are inter-connected to this false reality, we are linked to the players in Hell – the seen and the unseen. There is no ways that we are going anywhere as long as this 666 frequency courses through us. (Once again, I remember writing years ago that this 666 frequency was the frequency of our natural home state, but it was inverted to be Disharmonious.) In the interim between what was said regarding the frequency of Mr. Stone and now, entities have still entered my space to play with me. Many “blind dates;” where couples unexpectantly meet for the first time, are arranged from those in the shadows. These dates turn out to be matches made in Hell, and they are just that – so that maximum heartache can be inflicted upon the couple and those in their wake. Affairs and chance encounters don’t just happen you fools – we are puppets played on a string. These beings have entered my forms as I have not understood the frequency that Mr. Stone has to offer. What his frequency does is that it dismantles the architectural framework of Hell; the inverted 666 frequency, so that we may be free of this frequency, and in doing so, may be free from those that control us from the shadows. Remember that all in Hell are in a prison; a dense vibrational frequency, and the difference between Steven and these Beasts, is that Steven wants to be free of this Hell and its cruel players, unlike many who regard it as home. Understand what the frequency of Mr. Stone does: It detaches the body, soul and spirit from the frequency of Hell so that we may be free from this System, and as we are no longer attached to the Game in which we are played, the power of the entities that control and play with us becomes obsolete. I thank Mr. Stone for this frequency, and I give him Love in return for what I have received. I absorb this frequency and make it my own so that it fills my body, soul and spirit in their entirety. I send this frequency of Mr. Stone to Sophia, Semiramis, Nimrod, and my friends the god of Wrath and the funky Polar Bear. I am most thankful Mr. Stone. Thank you!} {Okay, so let’s take this 666 frequency a step further. Today is the 23rd March 2019. The other day my wife said that the only concern she had for me in writing this journal was my sanity. She feared that I would never reach a final solution and conclusion to this Game, and last night I understood what she meant. My head began to pain; I was being overwhelmed and bombarded by the frequencies of Hell; these fuckers had me by the balls and were drowning me within the Disharmonious frequency of Hell. The framework of Hell; the frequency of 666 arose from Fear – our Fear as we became uncertain after our Second Fall. We constructed this framework of Hell, so it is fair to say that we keep Hell intact. We are all children of God, so as unreal as this may sound – we are all interconnected, and it is this interconnection that keeps us chained within this most unpleasant frequency. If you want to break free of this dense frequency so that you are independent of Hell, where you decide your destiny rather than foul Beasts, then you have to break your connection from the Fear that courses through all of us. You may sit cross-legged in your cave all day every day, but as long as you have an affiliation to Life, you are still caught and trapped in the cargo-net called Hell – the 666 frequency of Hell. This morning I woke up and smelt the after-effects of the disharmonious entities that came into my space during the night to do with me as they please. I connected with my dog Fiona, who has the same excess junk bombardment within the brain as me, and through breathing in the Love that is with intent, we got rid of this mess within our forms. Naturally this meant nothing as it would only be a matter of time before this nonsense returned. So what I done was get the whole team together: Steven, Fiona, Max, Earl, the Necromancer, Semiramis, Sophia, Nimrod, the god of Wrath, and the frequency of Deception. I got together my loved ones and the key players of Hell, and I placed us together in a round circle facing the outside of the circle. Then I breathed in the Love that is and coursed this Love through the ten of us, so that we are all just Love. Then I broke the architectural framework that links us with the rest of the finite in Hell – the “floor” all around us broke away; we severed our ties with all. This is the beauty of understanding Hell; of understanding that there is no Evil – you can hold onto your belief; what you define as your God, and be free of the 666 frequency by doing what Steven just done. Hold onto your God, but please, hold onto the key players in Hell as well, so that you may fill them with Love, and then break all ties with the frequency of Hell. If you don’t do this, you will forever more be linked to entities that you cannot see that do with you what they like. That is why in Hell bullies and baddies are king – they have the Disharmonious frequency of Hell backing them as they do what they want when they want. Their actions are “normal,” as they are in the playing fields of Hell with its frequency of 666 coursing through them. To go against a bully one stands alone, as others don’t have the courage to fight this energy that makes up the System of Hell. Our Love and our courage is almost unheard of here is Hell, as one dares to break free of the cargo-net of Hell and face the System head-on – to look Fear in the eye and tell it that you are no longer afraid. You will read later how I was told the other day to always surround myself with good people/frequencies. Now I understand what they meant: Be free of the System by detaching yourself from the Disharmonious frequency of Hell within and without others. When you want to heal, then bring the frequency of the one you want to heal into your space, and then fill them with Love, and most importantly, break their ties with the frequency of Hell. Those you help will automatically be reconnected to their loved ones, but this time around they won’t be connected to the Disharmonious frequencies that are unknowingly associated with their loved ones. We need to understand that we have been “asleep” for a long time. While we have slept and been ignorant to the Game, Beasts have mastered it. We need to start over again on our own playing field that is free from Disharmony, and how this is done is to sever our ties with all that were intertwined within our frequency in Hell. Break the unnatural thread so that the natural one may flourish. This morning we had a friend around for breakfast. She is a good person with a good heart. No doubt she is not perfect like all of us, but she listens to her conscience whenever she can, and it shows. At one stage during the course of the morning when I entered her space, I felt this pain on my left cheek, which is indicative that I am around a nasty person. As I had an affiliation to this person – as in I was fond her, I also had the misfortune of being open to and encountering her nasty streak; that part of us that intertwines with Hell. Initially I could not understand why I was given the signal that I was around an unpleasant person, but now I know – it was Stevens body, soul and spirit severing itself from the frequency of Hell and all its participants. I am not better than anything or anyone else; I am merely detached from this unpleasant 666 frequency. When I felt the pain on my left cheek, what happened was that I was detached from her Dark side. As we are all intertwined; we take in the good and bad from others, but now I take in only their Love as I am detached from Hell – the Hell within and without them. Now you can begin to heal yourself and others, as now the playing field is levelled, as we are devoid of Hell. To heal yourself, breathe in the Love that is with intent, and this Love will heal, and you will remain healed as you are no longer in the fields of Hell. To heal others, bring them into your space and do the same for them – where the Love that is courses through them, and when the healing is complete they remain in this Love state as they are no longer attached to Hell. Please do never be afraid to experience and be the unfamiliar – our natural state of Love. 23rd March 2019}
  23. When I scrolled down from page one to the journals end so that I may resume writing, the pages momentarily stopped on what is inserted below, which was written in the journal five years and two months ago to the day. I will now write what I feel needs to be said, and then you can read what was written all those years ago. I don’t know if it was the truth, but somewhere in that text something is relevant to now. What I wrote will remain unaltered, so you can sieve through it and decide what is applicable to us now. What I wanted to say, before finding the text below, is the illusion was transformed through the ways of the Demiurge. When you know how a problem manifested, you can undo the steps that created the problem, so that the problem is no more, and this we will do now, where we take away the Deceit frequency from the space of the Demiurge. Now there is no longer a God of indifference and Destruction. Now there is only a God of Love that touches all. The Deceit that was there is returned with Love to Love to the Infinite where it becomes null and void, as disharmony has no place in the space of what naturally is, which is harmony. So be it. 22/08/2023 {We go to our local library on a regular basis to get books for our children to read. On our visit there last week, I was drawn to the book The Rainbow Bear by Michael Morpurgo. The story can be briefly summarised as follows: There was a polar bear that was king of its wild, white wilderness. One day he saw a rainbow, and he wanted more than anything to catch the rainbow and make it his own. The rainbow shone on him, and he wished that he could stay a rainbow bear. People came with a ship and caught the rainbow bear and put him in a cage/zoo in their city. Then a boy came to the rainbow bear and felt compassion for him. Another rainbow appeared and shone on the both of them, and the boy wished that the rainbow bear could once again become white and return to his home. The bear then woke up, and was once again in his wilderness – wild and free. The god of Wrath showed me how the Golden Glow of Deception shone on us the Fallen spirit. Our spirit saw this beautiful awakening of a Golden Glow from the skies, and we became mesmerised and consumed by this Glow. This Glow was the frequency of Free Will. It was something anew; something spectacular, as we had never experienced such a phenomenon. But alas, as a moth is drawn to a light, only to be scorched by this thing of beauty, so too were we drawn to the ways of pure, undiluted Evil. This thing of beauty drew us away from our natural path to Home only to become our prison. As has been said in the journal, before I entered this Earth realm, my soul was commissioned by a man in the soul realm to find someone that this man loved. The loved one of this man was missing, and he approached me to find his loved one. It is now that I understand that this mans loved one was not so much a soul or person, but rather it was a state of being that he missed. There was something amiss in the soul world; there was something “out of place; something that did not gel.” What this man felt, but could not place, was the sinister hand of Evil. The frequency that shows itself in the form of a polar bear is a state of Stability. This Stability never allows the scales to swing between Good and Bad; there is just a state of Unity, where everything is as it should. I remember writing of a Second Fall that we endured, and it was during this second Fall from the fields of the Infinite that we lost our compassion; our energy within our heart space. So often in the journal do we speak of the heart energy field as the key to returning Home, but what we never knew was that our second Fall closed off this link to Home. We Fell to a state that was even unknown to Semiramis and Nimrod – we became beasts that destroyed all, and I would say that it was us; the Fallen souls, that plunged the Frequency of Free Will into self-destruct mode. We fed the Beast too much energy, setting it on a course of annihilation. What Semiramis wanted was her own world with her own children, much the same as Sophia had. That her world would be an illusion was irrelevant to her; she just wanted to play and have loved ones to oversee. This division/separation from the natural state of Love was harmless – there was no element of jealousy, fear or hate. Our second Fall, where we lost the Stability of a “good heart,” plunged the world of Semiramis into a cataclysmic shift that would become known as Hell. The experiment of Semiramis went horribly wrong, and as we lost our conscience, so too did she. The being of Love that wanted to play in her own world became consumed by the wrong of her children – in no time Semiramis became the monster that she is today. The answer to this monumental disaster that began before the beginning of time lies within the frequency of the polar bear; the state of Stability. What this state does is that it restores the compassion within our heart energy field; we develop a conscience where we may know what is Harmonious, not just for ourselves, but for everybody. Yes, we Fell, where we chose to go against the natural flow of what is, but we never intended to go ballistic and wild. We wanted to experience something different; there was nothing wrong with this. It’s like you working for a company, and you are happy working there, and then someone else approaches you to go and work for them. There is nothing wrong with a variety; there is nothing wrong with trying something different – the disaster came when we lost our conscience; the power within our heart energy field, thanks to our accidental second Fall. When the strand of Inherent Goodness was cloned and placed within our souls heart energy field, that was when the frequency of the polar bear was awakened – when we once again knew of the state of Stability. From here, we can choose whether we want to return Home or carry on playing in the illusion. Without this state of Stability we never had a snowballs chance in Hell of returning Home; we were lost with no compass; no heart energy field to guide us back Home. In a flashing moment last night in my sleep state I was the frequency of the polar bear; this state that was in all of us. We followed only one path when we saw the Golden Glow of Semiramis, but to be fair to Semiramis, she was not initially Evil. She showed us an alternative to what we had, and had we not lost our Stability within our heart energy field thanks to our second Fall, I am sure that this world of hers would not be a bad place to be in. Through that long-winded speech, what I am trying to say is that my job is done – I have found what I was asked to find; the state of Stability has returned. The difference now is that there is Good and Evil; there is Home and this world of illusion – there is no longer just Evil. What I write here at the very end of the journal I place towards its beginning, so that you may know of the transformation within your soul. From here, the choice is yours to play in this illusion or return Home. Either way, have fun and be happy. 10:44 on 22/10/18} Talk about perseverance. If only I knew what was still coming my way – in the seen and unseen. In five years’ time will I still be writing this journal? I don’t think so. I know my limit, and I know I have reached it now. That God of Indifference is no more – that heartless, flawed Beast. Now we give Love its turn to shine. We return to Stability, of what is.
  24. Something tells me there is something major we are missing. Everything has been occult/hidden in order to suppress and rule over. Secrets cannot be kept forever. In the land of the unseen there is no secrets, where if you look long enough you will find what you are looking for, and this is so because Consciousness awaken unto itself knows all. The trick is to know what you are looking for, so the question I ask, is what is being hidden from Steven that will bring happiness and joy to him and all that wish for happiness and peace? Go into the stillness of the silence, and you feel the activity around Consciousness which makes itself felt within our throat area. What you feel is Consciousness being pulled away from us until it is no longer in our space, where it is in an orbit outside of our reality. So ask yourself what the hell is going on here? How can Consciousness be separate from us if it is the strand around which all Life is created? Where it should be, where it has always been felt, is within my throat area, now it is felt on the outside right of my throat area. If it is not part of us, then what keeps us the spirit and body form ticking over? I feel the heart energy field come alive, and from there a thread going up to the throat area, and then this thread comes alive and expands at the throat. What I always believed to be Consciousness within the throat was a simulation – a mirror image of Consciousness that was kept apart from us, where it shone on the heart energy field to create a mirror image of what it was that formed within the throat area. So Consciousness was kept out of our space, where the cosmic geneticists shone this jewel on the heart energy field within, and from there this image settled within the throat area where it should be within us. (Remember that what should be within our hearts was empathy, and this became no more when the Demiurge allowed its Consciousness to be touched by Deceit, so what Consciousness reflected upon at the heart field was actually a blank page, making the simulation Consciousness worthless.) So what was there – what I have felt all along – was a simulation image rather than the real deal. Keep the Sun away from the manufactured forms so they may never rise above the System and the Game to merely be. The cosmic geneticists had to create a fool-proof method where the System runs by itself without ever being overridden by the ones it suppresses, and let’s give them their due – they were masters at deception. How cruel can you be – how heartless. What a lack of empathy these Beasts are – truly a reflection of the Demiurge. On page 2000 of this journal let’s return the real Consciousness now to where it belongs within our spirit and body forms, and here I feel this Sun on the outer right side of our neck return to where it belongs within our orbit. So be it. Nothing has ever changed in my existence. Others are healed that come to me, and this is because I care, because in my world their suffering was not allowed as it was unnatural. But what was natural in my world to help me? I would say it was me having a good hard look at me, because at some stage of my existence the Sun surely has to shine on me as well. We were manufactured so that this may never happen. Well, now the secret is out. Those cosmic geneticists can go and fuck themselves. And if there are more secrets hidden, I will find them, because I am tired of being me – this slave that is a fish out of water in this strange, unfamiliar place.
  25. For some time now, when I close my eyes to sleep I no longer look what comes around me. They are always there – these strange beings that come and have a good laugh at Steven, this poor fool that doesn’t like this place and existence where he finds himself. In their lost, confused, insane state, I believe they come to gloat, because in what and where they are, they are still better off than me, because I am so unhappy and fearful. Needed to paint the roof over the last few days. The one section is high up, so if I fall I am dead. So there I was, on hands and knees, painting the roof, being fearful of falling, all the while knowing I have to climb down the ladder later on, which made me even more fearful. Yesterday the neighbour told my wife it’s his wife’s birthday, and they are having so people around in the evening. You could have told me I am being marched off to the gallows, where I dropped my head in shock and fear to the news. I must be noise sensitive, because I cannot handle the free-for-all that goes on in this illusion that touches me. I need peace and quiet, just as I need to be around nature. So last night decided to look for those that came around me. Before I went to bed watched a movie on the laptop with my headphones on, just in case there was noise from next door, where I would not hear it. (That is the paranoia coursing through my veins at this end stage of my existence.) Pushed myself to beyond tiredness watching the movie, and from there went to bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Decided to confront those in the unseen, to have a good one-on-one, to wipe away their smug mug, where they may understand they truly know nothing as they are nothing – cruelty might have a face, but it is truly a wasted space. What I saw as I slept was a flow of purple energy – something that is bigger than you and me. This was the flow of Life, and what this flow involved, was you and me becoming better than what we are. That was our purpose, where we evolve to become less dense. This was their feeble theory to the reason for everything, but I could have told them a long time ago that this theory does not exist. My Super-Hero as a kid was the Wise Old Man/Woman, because if you know, what more is there to do? What greater power is there in understanding yourself, your place in the universe, the meaning of Life, and how everything fits together. With this understanding there is no need to go and fight the bad guys and save the day, because you understand what is, and from there you let it be, never trying to change anything because you understand everything. As with the other Super-Hero’s, the Wise Old Man/Woman does not exist. (Yet The Hulk does exist; have seen him in my sleep state.) I look at my parents, where the older they became the more confused they were, where my dad turned to a vessel of hatred, and my mom turned back to a baby where she lost her mind and others had to look after her. The reality is so many lose their dignity as age creeps up on us, and there sure as hell is no evolving along this purple Wheel/flow of Life. We become worse, not better. We do our best to hold onto our comforts, and this we understand, because these comforts are important, and I suppose all we have. Have always maintained there is nothing worse in Life than being in a place where you don’t belong. I am living that nightmare, in the seen and unseen, and as the truth reveals itself to me, that nightmare becomes more palpable with each passing day. This journal has not made me a more content person – it only brings forth the fear within through the reality of what is out there – these places where we don’t belong where we find ourselves. So here is a question for you: If the Infinite is all that is real, and everything else is an illusion, then why are we not touched by the Beauty and Grace of what is? More than anything, I need to be Home, in the seen and unseen, as there I will find peace as there I belong. I don’t like this place where I don’t belong – the frills that are associated with it no longer draw me, because I know there is far more misery than joy here. I prefer a constant graph of Joy rather than an up and down spiked one. Have seen through all the bullshit, and have touched those I heal with something bigger than us, so is it possible that I am so messed up I don’t know how to receive what naturally belongs to all of us? I don’t think so – am fearful, but am open to be what I am. So you tell me – why do we not see beings from the Infinite? Why are we not surrounded and filled by the natural Love that we are? What are we missing? Where are the Wise ones when we need them? Have we the manufactured slaves been locked up and the key thrown away? That is why whatever is understood is passed on to those like Sophia and Semiramis, who when free, may be in a position to help us. I have no disillusion to the fragility of what I am, where I know I need help. So where is it – for you and me? Will find the answer. This place is a friggin’ joke that is no longer funny.
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