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steven geldenhuys

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  1. Ever since my spirit made a conscious effort to dwell where few this side of the bridge have gone – namely the place of shadows where Beasts within the Reptilian frequency of the illusion dwell – what has come my way almost ten times out of ten during my sleep state were disharmonious entities. In asking why is Life cruel, it only made sense to walk amongst the cruel to find the answers. What happened that these brother and sister spirits became these Beasts and embraced their new status? What was experienced last night as my body form slept was something new. I felt a force sweep over all within the unseen – it was a palpable presence that flowed through the space of all. If we talk about Love, how is this state tangibly felt? The answer is you cannot feeling anything that is real within an illusion unless you know what you are, meaning you have to become real. When we the spirit understood we are Beauty, this for me was the pivotal point of the journal. In knowing what we are, we can naturally receive what we are, which is Love. It is like velcro and cotton – the two need each other to function as they should; to stick together. From this Beauty that you are comes the Love that naturally fills your space. This is what I felt last night – this moving, all-encompassing presence that connected to all within the spirit realm. What this means, as in how it will influence us I cannot say – I merely write what I see and feel. Sooner or later the old will crack and fall away to reveal the truth. What kept me going to find answers was that Love is a natural state. Keep picking away at the rock, and as you release the unnatural, the natural comes to the fore. That it has taken this long is testament to how low we have fallen, where the insane was seen as sane, and cruelty became a welcome part of our culture. Sooner or later what was will no longer be, because what was, was unnatural. Take away the layers and what naturally is will rise to the surface. May this happen sooner than later, and if what was felt last night is anything to go by, this process is already underway.
  2. What never ceases to amaze me is the Beauty of the Female. From their womb the innocent are born, and this Creative force that they are is Beautiful. The Beauty of the Male is the will to Create a homestead where the innocent can be nurtured. This Homestead is the “womb” that the Male creates where the innocent may grow and thrive. Are children born within the spirit realm? I would say there was a time when there was only a spirit realm, with no dense body form realm. This was the era when those from the shadows never had wings to grow and become a force unto their own. It was a time of harmony; of an eternal balance that was the norm. Know of this Beauty that you are and re-ignite it. I am not saying go forth and have children; what I am saying is be this Beauty that you are – allow it to shine. To Create is an expression of your Beauty, and to Be is more important than to Create, so Be what you are – this Beauty. This Beauty defines you, but this is something we have forgotten, so as said, re-ignite it, and from there embrace it. This presence of what you are will nurture you and cast aside the fears within. Bring it forth, hold onto it, and make this Beauty your own that it has always been.
  3. There is nothing more I can say. Now it is for the house of cards to come a tumbling down. Why we aligned ourselves to Evil is beyond me – surely you are what you are, which is Love and integrity. What makes sense, is in our lost state we became afraid, and others showed us the power that comes with flowing with the Reptilian frequency of the illusion. Believe you me, there is power there, and I say this because this frequency has come to flow through and define the illusion. But this power is a sick power, it is a cruel power, it is a power that comes from crushing the pure and innocent. Anyway, your game is up buddies. How weak you were to take advantage of the innocent and believed that this made you powerful. You want power – real power – then give a helping hand to those that need it. See and know the power of Love, where you uplift your brothers and sisters that have had it rough. To the evil out there: Your only power is not knowing yourself, because you are lost in the drunken state of chaos. By not knowing yourself, you think you are this Darkness that flows through you, but ask yourself what is this power; this Reptilian frequency? What happens when you are uncertain – which is a kind of underlying nervous tension? What happens when you are uncertain, and you believe that if you can attain something that you want, and now you receive it – what happens to your uncertainty? The answer is that in that moment you are no longer uncertain, where uncertainty is replaced by an ecstatic state. That high in that moment, where there is no uncertainty, that is the foundation of the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where now you know you are strong and powerful – because you are. This power; this knowing, comes to define you, and now you will do anything and everything to hold onto this state, where it is passed from generation to generation, from culture to culture, and from world to world within the illusion. But what is this power? – It is a relief from a state you do not wish to experience, because it is not nice to be fearful, lost and alone. This we all understand, but the eternal fuck-up is happiness cannot be built on the unhappiness of others. Why did you not stand together to find a way out of this uncertainty, rather than find a temporary antidote to it that involved cruelty to the innocent? The answer is that IT WAS ABOUT ME, so fuck the rest. And that boys and girls was the primary cause of this illusion turning into a living Hell, where the “we” turned to “me.” How many times have I been told to fuck off; how many times have I been called a cunt because I ask others to please consider me and family and not just themselves! What will take us back to a “we” scenario, where we consider others and not just ourselves? I would say for us to no longer be uncertain. May that job be done, where Consciousness and the spirit understand what happened before the beginning of time that we all got into this mess. When I say we must begin to walk Home, what I do in stillness is open myself up to infinite possibilities, but I know there is only so far I can go. What more is needed is the illusion needs to dismantle, where all we have come to know is no more. This I cannot do through the writings of a journal. What is needed is for the “me” to be no more, where there is now a “we.” The other day I understood that a good five years ago I was already head below water drowning in the shit. Nothing has changed since then. I truly believe we are too far gone to help ourselves, and yet a simple act of kindness from all can rattle the illusion and destroy all that was bad and cruel. What I also believe is that I cannot do this alone. My friends the animals have walked with me and prevented me from dying of loneliness, but we have walked as far as we can go. Now we need to meet up with Consciousness in its true state, as well as a God of Love and a Creator. I have done my bit, and now they can do theirs.
  4. Always understand the cause of a problem. When you know the cause, then the cat is out the bag, where it is released with Love to Love. For the last few weeks my left Achilles tendon has been painful and swollen to the point where it causes me to limp. Obviously am missing the primary cause of the problem, otherwise the dilemma would have been resolved weeks ago. So what is it? Go into the stillness of the silence, and I go into my energy field and mine alone to make sure the issue is mine and not something I am picking up from somewhere else. Nope, not on me, so it’s a universal/illusion factor that is affecting all. So what is it? As soon as the question was asked, a small Serpent was felt leaving the left upper side of the neck – this is on the spirit level and Consciousness. But that is not the primary. Now discomfort is felt on the outer side of the right ankle. Now I feel a parasite slide away from the right side of our spirit and Consciousness – it was like someone lifted a table up and this large worm slid away from us. What was there, hidden within the spirit, and no doubt affecting Consciousness, is no more. What this presence; this worm done, was create an unevenness within us, and please understand that the word “unevenness” is putting it mildly – our existence; the existence of Consciousness was thrown upside down, meaning no balance, and thus no peace. Using the physical body as an analogy, we were weighed down on the right, squashing the right ankle and placing pressure there, and this shortening of the right side picked up the left side, placing a strain on the left Achilles tendon. This problem was going nowhere until I understood our core parasitic/worm frequency within. Why I felt the imbalance causing pain to my body and you did not, I would say is because I asked to bring the problem out. If there is disharmony that affects us all that should not be, I want to know about it, and if I say “us all,” am referring to Consciousness. If the left Achilles tendon is still sensitive tomorrow will know have to dig deeper, but am certain issue okay. How will the removal of the core parasite/want frequency within touch you and me besides bringing an element of balance to the spirit, body and Consciousness? In the stillness of the silence, on the level of Consciousness, one feels a pain on the “left side of the neck.” This pain was from the unnatural – from something that should not be in the presence of Consciousness. It is now no longer there. On the level of the spirit, the same pain is felt on left side of neck. Once again, it is no longer there. On the dense body form, one feels a movement of frequency energy around the left forearm, as well as the wrist and hand. This movement in this area, and then an absence of energy there, was what I felt on the spirit savants, meaning their limitlessness is now ours. From the body form go back to the spirit, and the same absence is felt there, as with Consciousness. What this means is nothing is holding us back, where this trio can now touch the stars and play with them. What was the pain in the neck on the level of the spirit and Consciousness? – It was the Reptilian frequency of the illusion that was within all through our association of the want of the Parasite of the illusion. Thus it is fair to say we were all closet Beasts – where we all had a Dark side to ourselves. We are free of this frequency and thus its Dark side, and for that I am thankful. What else is there to learn and understand? May the learning process be complete.
  5. Now here is an interesting thought, but before I propose it, allow me to explain. I can tell you what these Beasts from the shadows do to your spirit and mine as we lay in bed sleeping, and I have always surmised that two and two equals four, meaning four had to be the obvious reason why they have always done this most foul deed, but what if I was wrong? What if two and two equals something bigger than four? About a week ago woke up from a short implanted dream to see this lady feeding from my energy that had accumulated from me giving attention/energy to her implanted story. I remember about nine years ago seeing once again my sleep state through my Third Eye how this being came to take of my energy. That night I was livid – I had enough, so I told this spirit in his wheelchair who was moving away with my energy to give it back to me, as it was not his to take. His response to my statement startled me, because as hard as this spirit tried, he could not leave my space. The only way he could move forwards out of my space was to give in to my demands of returning my energy to me. That night I understood the power of understanding – why it has always been vital for these Beasts that we are always ruled from the shadows and kept in the dark. When we know and understand their agenda then its game-over for them. So getting back to this lady whom I awoke to standing over me and feeding from my energy, I told her the same story – my energy was not hers to take, so give it back. (If they had asked to take my energy it would have been a complete different story, as now there is some form of integrity and respect at play, but this is never done. They take because they can.) This lady was dressed in clothes that is unknown to us and our world – she was from somewhere deep within the shadows of the illusion, and her presence radiated power. I could not see her face as her clothes covered that, but even if they did not, her head was not shown to me, and I felt this was because in her eyes I was “below” her standings. She gave off a definite female presence. (Females rules the illusion as they have a Beauty that radiates depth, which us Men don’t possess. But instead of nurturing us, these Females chose to suppress and destroy, especially their own.) When I told her my energy was not hers to take, and she must give it back to me, she performed an act that I have become familiar with over the years. She took a tweezer of sorts, and from this bowl extracted small white worms and dropped them over my face. As soon as these worms hit my face they bored into the frequency field of my spirit. One dropped from my face right into the space of my left arm. This I have so often felt – these short, thick white worms dropped into my face. Last night it was ditto as usual, where all I saw was this presence/spirit performing its task of dropping a worm into my face. I felt it within the left upper side of my nose. What happens to me, happens to you. Guaranteed. We are all slaves controlled by those from the shadows. My assumption has always been that these white worms are there to suppress us, as in feed from our energy to keep our energy levels low to the point where we are hanging on a thread to survive. But what if I am wrong, which I strongly suggest I am? So here is my interesting thought, which I propose to you now: “What if these short, white worms that are dropped into our spirits face are placed there to feed something within us?” Let’s have a look. Go into the stillness of the silence, and see ask what happens to these worms that are dropped into our space. What I feel is a thin, living organism pierce the illusion, as in it moves outside the illusion, and then it comes back. Then I feel the dull presence of the parasitic frequency of Deception at the left corner of the mouth. It is as if something is waking this parasite up. Are they feeding these white worms to the Parasite within – this being that looks like a prehistoric bird that is still in its foetal stage? I don’t buy that. Something more is going on here. Zoom out and see the big picture. Why the white worms that they drop into us? Is it to weaken us or strengthen something else within us? Take away the frequency layer of the spirit and body form that gives us our looks; our appearance, and crack open our template and see what is there. What if we the spirit and body form are one glorified parasite that knows of nothing else but to take? What is the frequency of The Parasitic Frequency of Deception has come to define us, as in this is our core structure. What if this truth is so incomprehensible to us that we refuse to acknowledge this core being of what we the spirit and body form are? What if we are fed short, thick, white worms from those from the shadows to appease us the parasite that we are? It’s like giving an alcoholic a shot of vodka to settle them down and make them relax. What if this is the truth? Why do we always have to eat? Don’t tell me it’s for nutrition because that is absolute bullshit – there is no nutrition left in our food. What if this parasite at the corner of the “mouth” of Consciousness is what we the spirit and body form are? Surely that makes a lot of sense. Surely if this want came over the illusion and defined it, then surely we are a representation of what the illusion is all about – a want; a me; a “I have to have;” a worm. At our core frequency that defines the spirit and body form – are we a parasitic frequency; a worm? – I would say a definite “yes” to that, which is absolutely fucking mind blowing. How important do you feel now? How fast has our vanity been thrown out the window! Oh boy. Know what you are. Well, now you do. Release this parasitic frequency that define you and allow the Love that is Consciousness to take you over. This could never be done – this freedom from self to unfold into what we are, unless we knew what we are. I am not a worm – a parasite. I am Consciousness. This what I am releases this worm frequency within that I am not – it is released with Love to Love by understanding our spirit and body frequency formed around the template that came to define the illusion, namely a worm. Your spirit and body represents what the illusion is – namely a take and want parasite, that can be seen at our core as a worm. These enlightened Beasts from the shadows understood this and fed the Parasite within which appeased us, which kept us complacent within the illusion. Oh Wow. Never expected that! This frequency that is my core that is a worm is no more. So be it.
  6. So what went wrong? What happened that the Love of a God became a twisted Love that hurt like hell? What happened that a Creator became floored and stuck within an Illusion? What was the cause of Semiramis’ and Sophia’s entrapment in a most awful place? Sure, we talk about the parasite that created a want within all, but are you telling me this worm and its wants are bigger than a God and a Creator? I think not. The cause of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and Queen Semiramis not returning to where they belonged when things began to go south within the illusion can be summarized in one word – loyalty. No matter what – through thick and thin – we stay together, meaning as long as you fall, I fall too to be with you. Now we are both lost and destroyed, and this is what loyalty brought to the table. We are talking about the past, and “what if’s” is the language of the weak, but for those still within the dense illusion, let this loyalty be a lesson for all of us. What Life is about is experiencing the wonders before us, where we see Beauty and acknowledge this is us. That brings peace, where you see and are reminded of what you are. Some may call this a state of upliftment, but this is not true – we merely are what we are. The point to make, is any state other than this one is veering off from what we are to a place where we don’t belong. This standing by our Brothers and Sisters during their time of need is nonsense, because this closeness shrouds our judgement and makes us lose perspective of the predicament at hand. I can be sitting here moping about Life and feeling all alone, and what will get me back is seeing you dancing and being joyous over there in your natural state. Now I have a point; a location to return towards that I know I am. This is what Sophia and Semiramis should have done when they saw the wheels come off those they Love – they should have walked away; they should not have stayed to try and make a wrong right. All their loyalty and Love done was pull them down with us, where with the skip of a heart beat we turned on them. By walking away and returning to their realms they could at least have been there for us when we understood that being in control and having a free for all is not fun after a while. But when they fell to be with us there was no beacon, as in what is the truth and Love, allowing the Beast to go wild as now no help was coming for the innocent, and of course no consequences towards the cruel. What is being said now, is don’t make the same mistake twice. Let go of this trait called loyalty and walk to where you belong. When you walk others will follow, as this is a natural path, but when you stay because you care and Love your Brother and Sister, you stay with them and continue to fall. You be the Light they need by you walking towards the Light of Love that is the Infinite. That is how you help. Cut all ties to all you have known and come to Love and walk to where you naturally belong. Others will follow, and if they don’t, Love them enough to respect their decision, knowing that a time will come when we all return to what we naturally are, with you being there waiting for them. As long as we are bound to the illusion and its ways of disharmony, where we tied the knot that keeps us here, we will be going nowhere except to our demise. To walk Home, one needs to loosen all bonds made in the illusion. This takes courage, because it may mean walking alone into unchartered waters, but believe you me, compared to what we have been through, this will be a breeze. I am tired on the Devil/Evil I know, and will gladly walk to where I belong. No one is going to carry you – it is you with you, for the good, the bad, and the ugly. Get up and walk – there is a path waiting for you.
  7. Too where do these spirits and Consciousness walk when we say they walk Homeward bound? When you go into the stillness of the silence, your left eye represents the illusion and all that dwell therein. Now when you ask to where Consciousness and the spirit depart too, you feel activity within the left eye, and then from the illusion; from the left eye, you feel a departure to the abdomen; to the womb. What this place is, is the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis without the influence of the parasitic frequency of Deception. In other words, this is the illusion as Semiramis intended it to be. What I can say about this place, is it is filled with what we would call a fluid – but this fluid is one that is unknown to us. As this place transforms the spirit and Consciousness and removes all the parasites within them, their transformation will touch us the body form. How or when I cannot say, but what I can say is Semiramis and Sophia are now free of the dense constraints of the illusion and can thus begin doing their job that we request from them, namely to help us the dense body form and our existence. Will this womb; this illusion as it originally is – will it superimpose the illusion that dwells in the eye? I don’t know, but may we find out sooner than later. From this place that Queen Semiramis knows so well – this illusionary Garden that has no parasite – she transforms those that return to here as they should be, namely to beings of pure Love. As for The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, she too has returned to this womb to be cleansed from the dense illusion. From there she turns the dense illusion upside down, and I say this because I feel the left eye being pulled out of its socket and flipped around in mid-air. This is what one would call a wake-up-shake-up within the dense spirit realm of the eye/illusion. From there, the eye returns to the socket and floodgates are opened for the departure of those from the left eye to the womb. From there the left eye diminishes into a small planet within its own orbit, meaning it orbits itself and nothing else. This is the place for those that like playing dirty – the only difference being they are with their own, where there are no innocent to play with. We leave them be with the understanding they can depart to the womb any time they wish to. What is required for this transfer is a pure heart and a wish to return to what naturally is. From the womb; the abdomen; the Garden, Sophia moves to the Everything of her realm, where from there she will oversee the transition from the illusionary Garden to the fields of Infinite Love. How will all of this touch you and me within the seen realms of the illusion? All that I ask for, is that cruelty is no longer a part of our existence, where we can live in harmony with ourselves and what is around us. I don’t expect or ask for group hugs – what I ask for is for me to be an expression of what I am, which is the glory of Consciousness in its natural state within the Infinite. When we the spirit and body form have played enough in this natural state, then we return to the Nothingness of the Infinite and merely be. How I look forward to that state of rest - of merely being.
  8. My spirit was taken to a representation of the places I stayed in the seen and unseen realms, meaning what was shown was not the actual places I stayed at, but rather the theme and feel of the dwellings and their surroundings. Was shown an expanse of land that was divided into segments, and each segment was the place where I stayed at some or other stage of my existence. One of the places was an empty field where pigs lived – you could still see their hoof prints on the ground. At another place someone sold the meat of pigs, with their heads and white meat on display. Of all the animals I have met, I view the pig as the one with the most character and intelligence. So being shown an empty field where pigs once roamed, it showed me that what we were is no more. No longer are we beings of character and intelligence. We killed ourselves – we became savages, chasing a quick buck and a quick fuck. Nothing wrong with that – yet me made it a habit to the point where it defined us. Then as I lay in bed sleeping, through my Third Eye saw this group of spirits around me with their animal friends standing next to them. All they done was walk away from me, and I knew they were walking away Homeward bound. When I saw that sight a sense of peace filled me, as never before have we found a way back Home. Woke up this morning and that nervous tension was out of me, where a form of peace filled me. Don’t know how long this will last for, but it’s a good start.
  9. What am seeing now during my sleep are Beings of anger. One was Human looking, and the other was an object. It is their rage that brings buildings down, not them – they merely stand there. I say this because I saw how their anger brings buildings down. They are unstoppable. You can slow them down, but you cannot stop them, meaning if they went from point A to point B in five seconds, now they get there in eight seconds. These Beings with their anger are a force unto their own. Then I was inside a train carriage of sorts. Young girls walked in one by one, where they introduced themselves as this or that savant. They sat around a large table in this train carriage, and I wondered why I was shown these savant girls. Go into the space of a spirit savant, and what you feel is one who has no control device around their left forearm, meaning when they choose a subject that interests them, they become limitless, as in uncontrollable in this field. But what they learn and come to understand means nothing, as they are still limited to inside a box – the box being the illusion. They can touch and play with the stars while we can only observe them, but what happens when this play reaches a limit? What happens in these savants, is their exceptional abilities to go beyond the constraints of limitations soon reaches a limit, as in the walls of the illusion, and now what was exceptional and knows no bounds bounces back to them, meaning their talent can no longer flow outwards as an expression of who and what they are. So what went without is returned to within, and this is when the bomb starts to tick, and when it explodes, there is no stopping it. Which is an absolute catastrophe, because what was so Beautiful now becomes the complete opposite – as in annihilation. This rage from these savants was a tool to stoke the flames of the illusion. Their control devices within their left forearm were intentionally removed so that from their beauty they may turn into indestructible monsters. Do not underestimate how their rage touches all within the illusion. I told you these architects and cosmic geneticists of the illusion were cruel. We touch all these savants in the seen and unseen, where we make them understand what happened to them. From there they release this Beauty within, but this time it is backed by Consciousness in its true state. It is too these savants and what they have that will break down the walls of the illusion. Their force is unstoppable, and we use this force of Beauty to punch holes through the walls of the illusion. So be it.
  10. There is something I am missing, and I intend to find out now what it is. My gut feel says it starts with Consciousness, so let’s start there. Go into the space of Consciousness, and when you do so, one needs a mirror to compare Consciousness with what it is. So bring forth the presence of The Tree of Life to bounce Consciousness off of itself. This fucker is still lost, and I say so because it feels, feels into the unknown not knowing where to go to. Friggin’ pathetic. So what is it missing? May I have the strength to find this answer because I have had enough. Consciousness looks to The Tree of Life to see what it lacks within itself, and what I feel is this jelly-fish sort of object moving over a rocky surface away from something. Man oh Man, what I am feeling is freaky beyond! It has always been said that on the corner of the left side of the mouth hangs the parasitic frequency of Deception, this worm that doesn’t look like a worm, that extends from the corner of the mouth down to the chin area. We always just assumed that part of our dumbing down and limiting process was genetically replicating this parasite and placing it on the corner of the right side of the mouth. This assumption has always been there because I always felt something on the right side of the mouth. (The "mouth" of Consciousness.) Obviously this assumption is wrong. So what is this fucker that is there that is playing/manipulating Consciousness as well as the spirit and body form? Is it what I am feeling that Consciousness now sees as it looks at itself in the reflection of The Tree of Life? When I go into the space of this jelly-fish like object to understand it, as in where it fits in with the manipulation of Consciousness, one needs to combine these two states, and what this jelly-fish object is, is the “eyes” of Consciousness. What I feel, is this object become the vision of Consciousness, meaning instead of Consciousness looking out into the all, this jelly-fish object looks out on behalf of Consciousness. And that is why when Consciousness was assessed earlier on, there was this distinct feeling of “here I stand, but I cannot go further than from where I am.” Now this is understood – the vision of Consciousness is obscured by another. So let’s back-track: Where did this jelly-fish entity originate from? Go back to the beginning, when Consciousness just entered the illusionary Garden of Semiramis. When Consciousness entered the illusion, I feel this jelly film form over the “eyes” of Consciousness. Why was this jelly-film needed? What is the state of the Infinite? – It is a beautiful blackness with no beginning and no end. What is the state of the illusion? – This state within the Infinite needed to be illuminated to differentiate it from the Infinite. So what happened to Consciousness when it entered the illusion? – It had to adapt/modify itself to accommodate to the illusion that was obviously different to the Infinite. As has been said, the illusion was created to be a play-park, where you dip in, have fun, and then return to where you belong. So this adaption by Consciousness, where it modified itself to see this new place, was okay – nothing wrong with putting on a pair of shades. But what happened was this gel covering the “eyes” of Consciousness formed a state of its own, and this primarily happened when Consciousness felt betrayed and threw a tantrum, where it wanted nothing to do with the Infinite, which was basically itself. Now this gel protective lens was no use to Consciousness anyway, as Consciousness was lost to itself and the Infinite. So what happened to this gel that Consciousness created as a protective lens to meet the glare of the illusion? It departed the “eyes” of Consciousness and formed an intelligence of its own. To do what you may ask? My goodness! What is felt is this gel wrap around and within Consciousness, where it now not only protects the eyes, but the whole of Consciousness, and there the two of them went – floating around in their lost state. What an unbelievable friend to have – where this gel went beyond itself, not for itself, but for Consciousness. This gel could have left Consciousness anytime it wanted and Consciousness would not have known any better, but it chose to stay and be there for this lost state of Consciousness. Unbelievable! And after all this time, this gel state is still there. What it does not understand, is that it is blinding Consciousness, as in getting in its way now. So we go into the space of this gel with reverence and utmost respect for one who is the personification of loyalty and friendship. We tell this gel state why it came into being, as well as the story of the illusion and what went wrong with this most beautiful Garden, as well as with Consciousness. From there, this gel state returns into the state of Consciousness, where this true friend is once again one with Consciousness, rather than a separate entity. When I go into the state of Consciousness now, what is felt on Consciousness when it sees itself in The Tree of Life, is one feels the outline of the illusion, which is a super-shallow flattened sphere, then Consciousness sees the glare of the illusion, and a thin gel forms to protect the vision of Consciousness from this glare. Wow. Wow. Wow. It really is not nice knowing nothing! How much more do we have to understand? How much longer do we have to stay in this awful place? So what was hanging from the right corner of the mouth of Consciousness and thus ultimately from all within the illusion? It was this state of Consciousness going round and round within the illusion, spinning into nowhere in its lost state, all the while being protected by this gel state. There was no parasite to remove from the right corner of the mouth. What was needed was to inform this gel state that it may return to its original purpose of being a visor for Consciousness, rather than being its protective shield. This shield is no longer needed as Consciousness is no longer lost. For fucks sakes – may there be nothing more to understand.
  11. Floating all around you within the unseen are bugs about the size of your outstretched hand. These Beings are harmless. Over the last year or so have been treating this aged Husky. A month or so back went to give it maintenance, and when finished, informed the owner and dog that this would be my last visit, as Zorba’s time was coming to an end. The owner contacted me over the last week and told me she felt Zorba wanted to see me again. Went there, and this dog was still active and not ready to go. Its spine was misaligned, but before I felt that, felt its left kidney was depleted of energy. You look for the primary, and how this is done is by bringing it forth by knowing it is somewhere. As the secondary problems were automatically removed from this dogs spirit and body, the skeleton aligned itself, and from there a headache was felt over the left side of the dogs’ head. Honing in on this area one felt the primary – there it was. Within the “skull” of this dogs spirit was a bug that almost filled the space of the head. It was within the left eye socket and extended out a bit over the right side of the head. This bug had a slug feel to it, as in thick, smooth and rounded. Why did I not pick up this Being on my earlier visits to treat the dog? I would say there were two factors: This bug was a master at hiding, and secondly, Consciousness was not in a position to be able to detect this entity within. As said, these bugs do not mean harm, and they hide away because they are trapped within us and are afraid. Around the spirit and body form is a natural defense system. During times of severe and sudden trauma/shock, these defenses drop down, and what is floating around us enters our space. When our defenses go back up again these Beings become trapped in our space. Now there is something within us that should not be, and this places a strain on the spirit and body form, hence the strain on the kidneys from our energy being sapped, as well as this heaviness/strain within our forms that causes pain and discomfort. How you release these walk-ins is by knowing they are there. Last night as I slept the usual suspects came around. The cosmic assassins have always been a foolish bunch with their weapons of choice. Can you imagine walking up to a helpless creature, pushing the barrel of your double-gauge shotgun against its head, pulling the trigger, and “Who-ah! – who’s the boss? Who’s the Man!” you gleefully scream as your helpless victim is destroyed by your hand. This walking into a hen-house and shooting or stabbing or poisoning the helpless hens as they lay on their eggs has always been the case of the cosmic assassins. It has always been a no-contest. They hit the spirit which affects the body and causes serious damage there. Why they do it is because they can. What kept me alive was seeing my attackers and feeling their blows and from there countering this by filling myself with the Love that I have for the animals. So last night as I slept saw the cosmic assassins as they slowly and purposefully went about their business around me to destroy me. Turned on my side to go back to sleep, dismissing these losers for what they are, and after a while saw these savages on their hands and knees bending over me and my wife. The first thing I saw was this dirty barefoot next to my head. This belonged to the one bending over my wife. He was dropping these massive swathes of his spit over my wife, allowing the toxic frequency that made up his frequency field to harm her. What was done to my wife was done to me, and I assure you, these filth from the shadows of the illusion touch you and those you love and all within our world in the seen and unseen. Seeing these Beasts through my Third Eye over the years came to be the norm. Most of the time Snakes were seen, and they were felt as they twirled themselves into a ball, making themselves cozy within my spirit and body form. That was unpleasant to feel, and some of the Snakes radiated pure evil, and I must admit, they were scary to see. “Hold on Steven – this is a potent one” is how I would reassure myself. So last night the assassins came, and then these primitive savages, and then some others that by now I had lost an interest in, and then I saw this light, and when those around me also saw it they bolted. Turned around to lie from my side onto my back to see what this light was, and there I saw this lady walking towards me that radiated this beautiful, bright, white light. I mentioned the bugs earlier on, and their association of always being around us in the unseen. When these bugs saw this lady, they were ecstatic to see her, as was she to them. She kept on placing her arms around them, giving them hugs, as they went up right against her to say hello. It was a scene of loved ones being united after a long absence from each other, and what I saw was beautiful beyond. This lady that was light acknowledged me and said hello, but her interest was soon turned to those around her that were beyond themselves by the return of this lady whom they Loved. So what I am saying, is what I saw last night was a Being of Love that could once again just be Love. This was a first for me, not just for over the last nine years or so with my Third Eye open – I would say this was the first time my spirit had seen a Being of Love that could express what it naturally is, where Consciousness within them shines as it should. From the vastness and blackness of the Infinite is the Beauty of Consciousness. When Consciousness chooses to be; to express itself, a form; a Light is created around Consciousness, and this we see as an entity. This lady that was seen last night as I slept was an expression of Consciousness in its true state. What all of this means is the Love of the Infinite has finally touched us the spirit, and this is something that has not happened for a long time, as in a really long time. Embrace this unknown as it is a natural state.
  12. You know you have hit rock bottom when you stand up and say “okay, what happens now?” because only when you have hit rock bottom can you stand up, and when you do, as I done this morning, the most natural question is “where too from here?” The only answer I could give myself was to just be – we what you are, and the foundation of this is calling a spade a spade. You see things for what they are and you call them that, but the dilemma is around every corner one will always play Daddy stating to others the obvious. I don’t like playing Daddy, but if it means talking to others that will listen to uplift themselves then so be it. The trick is to uplift rather than complain, and what differentiates these two states is the audience – who wants to listen and are thankful for what they have come to understand? To those it is worthwhile being Daddy too, so be selective with your audience. Know when to be mum/silent and not be pulled into circumstances where you don’t belong. It is all about balance, where you ask yourself who looks after you? It is here and now, at the bottom of the pit, that Consciousness pulls finger out of arse and starts to look after the vehicle of the spirit and body form. We know nothing, and no modesty in meant in making such a statement. We know nothing, and I promise you one thing, I need a Daddy in my life because I am standing alone at the bottom of a pit and I need someone to show me the way. We are in a position to be able to stand on our feet because we know Consciousness is now able to show us the way. We stand up because we know we can now begin to walk, and this is so because the driver of us the vehicle is what it should be. I don’t expect fireworks every moment of every day, but what I do demand is to start walking away from this hell-hole. Sure, I will call a spade a spade, because Life needs to start seeing what it has allowed itself to become, but I never be cruel – always will I keep my integrity. The bottom line is now we start walking, with Consciousness showing us the way. Within the illusion we are up against a clock that waits for nobody. What little time we have left here must be utilized to its maximum capacity, where joy and happiness and peace is the norm. These are not words written without meaning, where they sound nice but don’t even carry us out the front door. My spirit has not spent this lifetime and so many before it looking for a way out of the illusion for nothing. I expect – I demand – a return on my investment, and what this is, is Consciousness being what it is in its natural state, meaning now we are looked after by a God-force within, and in this state of being cared for, loneliness and survival do not exist. We have done everything to assist Consciousness to remember what it is, and the job has been complete. On the body form realm of this being called Steven Geldenhuys I have nothing, where I have never been able to look after myself or my family financially – never have I been able to contribute to the bills. Career wise, I have nothing, where I am an unknown nobody, and yet I offer a world-class service of healing that this world is not ready for – what I have to offer of removing disharmonious frequencies is two hundred years ahead of its time. I have nothing and I am nothing, and this is okay, because I knew it would not be easy to uncover the truth, but this had to be done, no matter what. My job has been done so that all within the illusion in the seen and unseen may benefit. I say my job is done because I am on my feet rather than falling from side to side in a snow storm, never knowing if you will make it or not. Everything has been done for Consciousness. Now Consciousness can lead the way.
  13. The lands of the seen, as well as those of the unseen were cursed, as were those that dwelled therein. The toxic poison from those Beasts from the shadows had to flow from this disgusting place so that a foothold could be placed within the realms to where these Beasts may launch their attacks and takeovers of all within the illusion. Who cursed us you may ask, and I say to you it was our own – they allowed all to be destroyed in return for the feeling of importance of being associated with the in-crowd. As has so often been said in this journal – evil has no friends; there is no loyalty, and I say this because evil only suppresses, where it never uplifts. There was a deadly mixture of mental illness, insanity, and a strong desire to belong to a group that allowed these traitors amongst us to open the gates of hell where Beasts may enter our space to do with us as they please. The curse was the key that opened us to other dimensions, and most importantly, the curse kept us in the frequency of those from the shadows which rendered us helpless to Beasts in the seen and unseen. In the process of dumbing us down to survive on a thread and live an existence of want, one wonders how strong the role of curses played a part in our limitations and slavery? The effectiveness of a curse is it lingers – it intertwines with the frequencies of the illusion and locks them into the ways of Beasts. The shit-show of curses is no more thanks to the awakening of Consciousness to what it naturally is.
  14. Survival is the name of the Game within the illusion. With Consciousness revealing itself, there will be a push back from those that harmoniously blended in with the cruel ways of the illusion. Now their very existence and what they have always known and loved is compromised. What I am trying to say is an attack of the super-bugs has hit our shore. I say this because over the last 24 hours I have been floored. The attack will be on the spirit which will ripple down to the body form. And if I say super-bug it is just that – potent beyond that no medication will help with. Now it is Consciousness merely being what it is versus Beasts from hell. It is a no contest, as how can an illusion beat what it real, but believe you me, we will feel the attack that has already begun, and here I am talking from experience. Hang in there till the dust settles.
  15. How does one disconnect from the illusion? – By seeing it for what it is. Sooner or later the flow of Life becomes still, where you are no longer taken along this joyride with its highs and lows. The Game stops abruptly, and in that moment, you see Life for what it is. And what you see, is that this place we find ourselves in is unpleasant. That’s it! That is the truth. All that bullshit of making the most of what we have disappears as the sun hits the dew on the grass, and what you see; what stares you in the face, it that this place, and so many that dwell therein, are most unpleasant. One understands the Beast that throws everything to the wind to embrace the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, because this is as close as you will get to what is real within the illusion. Don’t count on love because we are too fucked up to apply the humbling act of kindness, which is the foundation from where Love may grow. But what about integrity – why did they not fight with everything they had to hold onto this one ticket that was our way out of here when the opportunity arose? When you acknowledge the illusion for what it is, what happens is you become detached from this place, meaning nothing pulls you in to define you. Now you are in this world but not of it, and from here Consciousness may begin to shine.
  16. Ask yourself what is Consciousness. The answer is it is everything. In our limited vision what does everything look like? When you stare out into the all, what do it appear as to us? It appears as nothing, because what you see looks like nothing is there – there is just this massive expanse; this vastness. In our limited understanding and vision this everything is blackness in colour, for example, when you look out into space. What this means, is when I felt Consciousness at our throat area, what I felt was a representation of Consciousness within the illusion. What I felt this morning hanging like a limp, broken rag doll was the “skin” that Consciousness shed to be reborn unto its true self. I then felt nothing where I always felt Consciousness, there was just this black, infinite space with no beginning and end, and that is Consciousness in its true form. My youngest daughter is okay this evening, where everything panned out as it should and I knew it would. Wow, Consciousness has come unto its own, and that for me is remarkable.
  17. It’s back to square one – my youngest daughter is going back into the cycle of falling ill and being in pain. When I check on the primary, namely her Consciousness, what I feel is a broken rag doll, as in what should be there is totally destroyed. This I have never felt before on Consciousness – I have felt a lost, disjointed and erratic state, but never a broken one. So what is going on? You go into the space of Consciousness to feel for the primary disharmony. On an energy level, both in the seen and unseen, one feels the body move slightly away from the head, and then the body and head move forwards together to join up, and then move to a sideways tilt. What the hell is going on? Is this the death of Consciousness – the end of the road where it cannot anymore? I don’t think so, there is something we are missing. So once again, go into the space of Consciousness and look for the primary problem. What is felt is Consciousness being broken up into two, where the one half of it separates from the other. My goodness, that is not good. An ice-coldness is felt over my feet, and this is indicative of death in a form. What is going on? Now there is nothing there – there is nothing to feel and assess. Consciousness has disappeared off the radar. The joke is, it has disappeared off the radar in all of us. Mention has been made often in the journal regarding The Tree of Life, and I don’t know if it is an actual tree of sorts. What I do know is it is found in the fields of Infinite Love. When what I called The god of Wrath came to my room one night and told my spirit to come with him, where he showed me what happened that Brother turned on Brother, he first took me to a Tree. This Tree was somewhere in an African setting. There were two or three black men that were the curators of the Tree. What I noticed about this ordinary looking Tree was that bees has made their hives in some of the branches. For me, what this Tree is, is the “air” of the Infinite. It is there as this merely is was is. It has a symbiotic relationship with all in the Infinite, meaning with Consciousness. So now we check on this Tree to see if its life-force is still feeding Consciousness. What I felt happen to Consciousness, where it was cut into two, also happened to the Tree. I do not know what is going on. It is as if there has been a total blackout of what was.
  18. Instinctively the nail side of my thumbs were pushed gently against my closed eyelids as I lay in bed last night to fall asleep, so that I may look deep into the unseen. Immediately I was in an outer space that had a misty golden glow to it. There was just an expanse of everything, and from there I began to drop down and get closer and closer to where I was taken. A world came into view with water and lands, and up till now everything was still haloed in this misty golden glow. I saw the dense tree tops, and when these were passed, there it was – this is what was travelled across time and space to come and see. There on the ground was this white creature that had a pink taint to it. This white mass had the contour of a butterfly, and in the centre of these two flaps was a round mouth with visible long and pointy teeth. But what was the most striking feature of this creature was the distress it was in. It was crying in angst and fear. What I was taken to see, was the creature that was born from the uncertain and fearful state of Consciousness when Consciousness felt betrayed by the Infinite for “abandoning” it within the illusion, as well as betrayed by its own when the “we” turned to “me” by the want that the parasite within generated. The frequency of this uncertainty created a form/mass/monster, and this monster I have seen before and have associated it with the candida within us, which in copious amounts leads to cancer. This candida is within all within the illusion, and I say this because uncertainty and fear is built into our framework. When I first saw this monster it merely was, where it gave off its frequency into the illusion and received the disharmony from those its frequency impregnated. But what I saw last night was a “child” that was beyond fearful and needed help. Understand that Consciousness inadvertently created this monster, so it is only fair to say that Consciousness makes this wrong right, and I can only assume this is why the trip was made to where this monster lived – an innocent monster that was born from the uncertain state of Consciousness, just as the Watcher spirit was born from our will to control all around us. The reason for this visit was that the spirit and body form where going nowhere as long as this monster and its associated frequencies of fear were in all and sundry. It was really a sad state of affairs to witness this monster left all by itself in an unhabituated world. As scary as this monster looked, truly one could not help but pity it. No doubt this being was set free from its habitat and returned to the Infinite by understanding how it came to be. With this being free, we the spirit and body are free from this innate fear and uncertainty within us. From there, step out of your comfort zone and begin to explore the frequencies around you, where you play with them and make them your own. Our false reality is not a rigid structure – it is there to be bent and played with. What you do, you do for yourself, and when needed, to uplift others. The point being, go about your business without a fanfare. When the world is ready, they will play with you. Until then, go about your business keeping it to yourself to avoid jealousy and hatred through the ignorance of others. Play as a child plays, where your imagination has no limits. Now there is nothing more to fear.
  19. What I have always known about myself is I am lost and lonely. One has to see what is there and not fool oneself. I never developed a nasty streak within as an outcome to release what was within what should not be there. The world did not have to pay and suffer for my insecurities within. In my lost state I still knew what was right and wrong, and I never crossed these lines as I valued my integrity and self-respect above all else. By being lost, what helps is friendship, where one is drawn out of ones shell to experience Life with another. This I never had, meaning the loneliness only exacerbated the lost state. After a while I am sure one could see this lost status frequency a mile away, which I am sure was an open game ticket for the cruel out there to attack me. But this never happened, because primarily there were only two things I knew about me – the one was I insecure and lonely, and the other was don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, because if you do, you will be outright destroyed, as in obliterated, or worse, I will turn my back on you and walk away, where now you see yourself for what you are. This journal began with the perfect storm, where cruelty touched me from all sides. People l loved betrayed me by telling lies about me; emotionally I was in a bad way because my six year old daughter was unhappy in a school that I soon understood was run by idiots; and lastly I was unaware I had tick-bite fever that was sapping my energy and turning me into a walking vegetative state. This trio of events floored me where I was no longer walking upright, but rather hanging on a thread to function properly. I was there, but I also wasn’t there, where my whole being within was like a ship being knocked around by turbulent waves. In this state some out there tried their luck and took a swing at me where they entered my space to kick what was almost down and out, and I think these fools touched a chord within me that made me ask the question that kick-started writing this journal, namely “why is Life cruel?” Surely when others are down you don’t go in for the kill to destroy them so you may feel good about yourself? What twisted world with twisted inhabitants would want to do such a thing? This I had to understand, and to do so I had to start at the very bottom of the cesspit – the place where Beasts dwelled in the shadows of the illusion. Now it was game on to fuck Steven up – just because they could, but I have always maintained, and always will, that my fellow species on planet Earth are far worse than these savages that embraced the Reptilian frequency of the illusion and made it their own. These savages from the shadows that ruled over us did not try and be anything else than what they were, whereas my species imagines themselves to be something, all the while doing the complete opposite. We think we are nice, but boy can we be nasty. Two-faced is what so many are, where what they show themselves and what they show others is not what they imagine themselves to be. Talk about not knowing yourself! And yet there are many out there that do know themselves. They know there is hate and dislike within them towards others. They know they destroy, and they have embraced this cruelty and made it their own, where they embrace themselves and are peace with this Beast that they are. It is too these that I now speak: Your ways are no longer tolerated. Do what you have always done, and in a moment – in a sudden, almighty moment – you will know yourself by what you done to others, will be done to you. In that moment you will feel and understand what you done to others. In that moment you are not being taught kindness – you will be taught cruelty so that you will know yourself, where you see the abnormal and cruel is not normal. I will never lower myself to threaten others or pick a fight – always will I walk away for self-preservation. So understand I am not threatening those that love being cruel. I am merely stating what will happen, where Life will hit them hard as such nonsense is no longer tolerated. These Beasts will feel this wrath of playing in a game where anything goes, and what this wrath is, is an indifference to what should not be. When Love shows itself through Consciousness being what it naturally is, there will be a shift from what was to what should be, and this wave will obliterate all in its path that should not be, meaning Love touches Love, and what is not Love will feel the impact of what Love is. In that moment Beasts will feel and understand that what they are and have come to embrace i.e. cruelty, and this impact will be a blow that will rattle them to their core. Now they will feel what they done to others as they see their cruelty within that they loved and made their own. These two extremes – the raw cruelty of a savage, and the Love of Consciousness – when these two states pass through each other, we will see this moment as the wrath of God against the cruel, but it is not wrath we are witnessing, as this state has no place in the presence of Love. When healing, understand the primary disharmony, as well as the cause of the disharmony, and in the moment this disharmony is no more as it has no place in the presence of Love. With Consciousness unfolding as it should naturally be, this Love will shine on the cruelty within the Beast, and in that moment that cruelty will be no more. When that cruelty is no more, the Beast will see itself for what it is, which is nothing – a space devoid of Love – and in that moment the Beast will see and understand what it done to others. In that moment the Beast will be obliterated into Nothingness, and when it returns from this state to find itself, shame of self will permeate from its pores. Now it is them with them, and it is not for us to interfere. Only they can make their wrong a right. Now they have Love and not the cruelty they relishly embraced. Leave them be to find their way back Home, these stupid, stupid fools that took joy in destroying the innocent.
  20. With Consciousness beginning to shine as it should, what was happening to us on the spirit and body form is brought to the fore, meaning now it is in our face for us to see as Consciousness returns the abnormal to normal. In other words, what was always done – what was abnormal and cruel – is now noted, and a wrong is made right. The difference between now and what always was, is now we rise up and climb out of our hole to where we belong, which is a state of peace and happiness. Please understand this is the norm, and what has changed between now and then is Consciousness is beginning to shine as it naturally should. So if your spirit has been attacked, for example, then you will all of a sudden feel this disharmony on the body form as Consciousness shines on the disharmony in the seen and unseen to make a right wrong. The pain on the body form will not be gradual – it will be sudden as this disharmony is brought forth to heal. And from there, the more Consciousness shines, the more we move away from disharmony to the point where it no longer touches our lives. I’ll give you another example. My deal in healing people is they pay me when they are better. This lady came to me for help, and before she left she paid me. She told me that financially it has been going rough with her. When she checked her bank balance recently someone had put a small amount of money in her account with the reference “Jesus” on the depositors name, meaning a kind soul had helped her out and wished to remain anonymous. This lady told me she held onto this money, and now she wanted to give it to me, regardless if she got better or not. If she had money I would have charged her triple what she gave me, but her gesture of giving to give and expecting nothing in return touched me. I don’t know why, but I could not spend that money over the last two weeks or so, so I kept the money in my pants pocket and hanged the pants over my jacket stand. This morning I needed the money as I took my family out for Mother’s Day. During the week my wife had taken the pants and cleaned it with the other washing, and when I went to look for the money in my clean pair of pants in my drawer the money was not there – and it wasn’t anywhere else in my cupboard. I needed that money and now it was gone. What I am saying is something in the spirit realm has always deprived me of what should naturally come my way. This problem has come to the fore in the spirit and body form realms by Consciousness shining on what should not be. So if you feel your world is falling apart, understand it is not – what has always been there is now pushed to the seen and unseen realms as Consciousness makes a wrong right. My money that I need is missing from my pants pocket, but this problem, of what should be there that is not, has always existed in the spirit realm. The difference between now and then is this unnatural phenomena, as well as all the others, is being addressed by Consciousness. Will I get this money that has been lost in the seen and that has been deprived from me in the unseen? – I would say yes, as now there is something bigger than us that is looking after us. You be the child and allow Consciousness to be the adult, meaning allow Consciousness to lead the way without you interfering. A child plays, and this play gives joy to the adult that watches over the child. This is the new relationship between you the spirit and body form and Consciousness. As you play, the more joy you give to Consciousness, allowing Consciousness to come unto its own. Always be humble and give thanks. We are just passing through.
  21. The trick was to help everyone, and not just me. This meant turfing the survival instinct and stepping into the unfamiliar, regardless of the consequences. It was do or die to solve the ultimate riddle of why is Life cruel. Something had to be done for all – the Beasts; the cruel, horrid Beasts in the seen and the unseen, as well as for the innocent, and for those vast majority in the middle that were indifferent to the nightmare that was staring them in the face that they chose to ignore because they were okay. The most logical steps to take were to go back to the very beginning; to the source of where it all went wrong. This was easy – if you consider the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia from her realm that created an impact zone from where the Serpent spirits were formed, with Queen Semirmis coming to the fore. Maybe Sophia should not have fallen, and maybe Semiramis should not have created her illusionary Garden, but it is fair to say that we are well beyond maybe’s. How do you fix something that one does not know exists? We always looked to the spirit as our way to redemption, where the spirit finds the Love of a God that resides somewhere in Heaven, but this was never the case. How foolish we were to believe that the spirit of an unhappy body form will suddenly find happiness when the body form is no more and the spirit is free of the body to take up residence in the spirit realm? How stupid were we to believe this. Why couldn’t our spirit or our God just pass on the fruits of knowledge to the body form, where everyone can be happy? I have seen spirits who were associated with the body form of those involved in the Mafia organization. So below, so too above. The reality is you go to what you know, where if you are a gangster in the dense body realm, you enter the gangster world within the spirit. Nothing changes – unhappy here, then after long enough in the spirit realm, that unhappiness sooner or later shows its face, which is an absolute catastrophe as where is there peace to be found. When I walked up to that horse a good fifteen years ago to treat it, and saw a speck of Light about three to four millimeters long floating against the horses body, I never had a clue what was staring me in the face. What I did know, was from that moment I understood that I knew nothing, where I would start anew with the spirit of the animals showing me the way. I never knew that what I saw was Consciousness, and it was to this speck of Light that the answer would be found of why Life is so cruel. Wow. Wow. Wow. What a shit ride it has been and continues to be. How many have there been that came off second best in this Game of survival? We have all lost, because we all find ourselves in a place where we don’t belong, and it has never gotten better – it has always gotten worse. We prayed and believed and hoped and help never came our way – it was only the resilience of the spirit that knew somehow, somewhere there is Love in this world. That Love was within us – it was this speck of Light; this Consciousness. Have we done enough to transform this Light; this building block of all life within the illusion that forms the natural state of the Infinite? I don’t know. If we have done enough, are we the spirit open to receive the blessings and presence of this God within? I believe we are ready. We have existed in the abnormal, where everything was upside down and unnatural. I truly believe we are ready to embrace this Light within that we naturally are. May this God-force within; this Consciousness, begin to shine and show itself, and may we see and understand that this is what we naturally are, where we the spirit and body form are an expression of this Infinite Love. May this Consciousness shine, because if it doesn’t, we and those we love are truly fucked. And that is the truth!
  22. What it means to exist within the stillness of the silence is to have no opinion about anything. The thoughts are there, but they are just there – you don’t embrace them and make them your own where they now define you. The transition from being in the Game to being in the stillness that allows Consciousness to come unto its own was easy for me, because everything I have tried up till now to be at peace and happy has not worked. Push to find answers to be happy, and all you do is find the answer that is not real, as it is in an illusion you are seeking, thus all you will find is what is not real, and by “not real” we mean just that – it is an illusion. A few days back had the rest of my existence panned out before me as in what defines me and makes me unique – the path was clear, all that was lacking was money. Years ago it was written in the journal that if you see a funky polar bear in your sleep state, it means you will play a lottery the following day and win. Guaranteed. That dude bear is Earl, and he is one of those, together with Semiramis and Sophia, that I have passed understanding to over the years through what this journal taught me. All I needed was money. You cannot believe how unhappy I am living around traffic noise most of the day, as well as unpleasant neighbours. Earl was my ticket out of this mess so I could be where I belong. Two nights back my spirit found itself in the snow, and there in front of me was a young polar bear. What I saw had a plastic feel to it, as in it was not genuine, but regardless I asked this youngster where is his mom, as in where is Earl? To the side of me was this man hiding in the trunk of an artificial tree. This man was beyond madness, as in psycho madness. Then the scene changed and I saw these black octopus’ coming before me – the Watcher spirits. One stopped and looked at me, and gestured with his arm towards his mouth, as in he wants food to eat. I told him my energy and of those I love was not his to take. I mention what I saw two nights back in my sleep state so that you may understand that this is what you get when you push to reach your dreams within an illusion. You get what you have always gotten, which is nothing. What was it about the ring that Smeagol in The Lord of the Rings wanted more than anything? It was the ring of power – the precious – that satiated the want within him. The ring was symbolic of the worm; the parasite that wanted, and by having this want; this ring, he had everything, meaning there was nothing more to have. And yet this ring done what parasites do – it sucked the life out of him. We are all the same – we all want something from the illusion, all the while being driven to our madness as we can never attain what we want. So ask yourself what do you want. The true answer is “I want nothing from the illusion Steven.” That is a good answer, but nobody deserves to suffer – not even in an illusion. So what you want is for the Love of Consciousness to guide you the spirit and body form whilst in the illusion. Up till now you have not been guided – you have been controlled and manipulated by Beasts in the seen and unseen of the illusion. But even through them we pushed to survive and find our peace, which is great, but remember where you are – in an illusion. Always have I said that we cannot do it alone. Believe you me I have tried my darnest because I knew that to sit and wait for someone else to do it was not an option. I have pushed, and now I can push no further because there is nothing more to understand of this illusion, as Consciousness was the Star that needed to be awakened and returned to what it was – everything else was irrelevant as everything else was an illusion. This is the help I have been waiting for, so it goes without saying that we the spirit and body form now stand back and allow Consciousness to lead the way. Lead the way to where? A good thirty years ago, as part of a life experience, I worked in The Donnington Manor hotel in Seven Oaks in England. One night the manageress threw a tantrum at one of the girls who worked with me, and all this girl could do was burst out in tears from this verbal onslaught. All I could do was storm into the office of the hotel manager and relay to him what had just happened with tears streaming down my face. The manager calmed me down, and later, when everything had pacified, he told me that I could sleep in one of the hotel rooms for the night rather than the little make-shift room I slept in for the two months or so that I worked there. The punch-line to this story is Mr. Allen told me that we wanted me to know that all British are not bad – that like him, there is good out there. So to where will Consciousness lead us the spirit and body form? I would say to the good of the illusion. There are those that are rotten and like playing it dirty, so to each their own. Let them play in their little Game of find and destroy. We all have a right to be happy. We just needed someone to show us the way. This morning as I woke up I knew that something had changed within me, but I did not know what. Whatever it was, it floored me, as I could not fully wake up and have breakfast with the family and see them off as they left for school and work. There was this movement flowing within me. It is safe to say that what was felt was Consciousness as it began to make itself known. Where too from here I don’t know. What I do know is I am an observer and Consciousness is the participant that leads the way. We are all on the same page, where we don’t wish to make this illusion our home, but while we are here, let us be happy. What this happiness is and brings I cannot say, but this spirit and body form of Steven taking the lead is no more. It has taken a long time to awaken Consciousness and return it to what it naturally is. Let’s take advantage of this situation and allow Consciousness to show us the way to our happiness. Remember what the illusionary Garden was initially intended to be – it was a place to go and play in, and when the playing was complete, we, as in Consciousness, would have returned to the Infinite. So let’s go back and fulfill the wish of Queen Semiramis – let’s play in her beautiful illusionary Garden.
  23. Ask yourself how long would this illusion last if the Beasts in the seen and unseen had the power of Consciousness at their disposal. Five minutes? Two minutes, before there is total destruction? Yesterday evening went to bed early and passed out from exhaustion. As I lay there falling asleep, understanding that there is not much else to do or say, I held onto what is real in this illusion – I imagined somewhere within me is Consciousness, and to this imaginary friend I held onto. What I held onto was straws, meaning there was nothing there. Was too tired to ponder why this is so, and then in the early hours of this morning the logical answer presented itself to me. The ticket to enter the illusion is insanity. You might not know it, but insanity dwells within you, where now and then it will rear its silly little head and we become one with The Madness of King George. As long as we are in the illusion, we are in a Game, and what this game is, is the Game of Survival. And as long as we are in this Game there is no ways Consciousness in its true, natural state will present itself to us the insane, because while we are in the Game, it is about survival, rather than getting to know our true selves and return Home. Know that this is the truth. You want to get to know yourself, as in your true self, then hand in your ticket of insanity that allowed you to play in the game of Survival, and get out of the illusion. Only then will you know what you are. What is this ticket that lets us into the madhouse? The answer is our thoughts. For Consciousness to come to the fore we have to stop thinking, and I am not talking about wearing that New-Age retro, multi-coloured gown that fits in with our man-bun hairstyle, our slippers and that rough-look stubble on our faces. For the ladies it’s the standard – going braless and barefoot, and of course the flowers in your hair. I am talking to the spirit, where the spirit returns to the stillness of the silence. Please believe me when I say that there comes a time in our existence when there really is not much more to think and say. You begin to be, and this leads to what you are, where you truly are everything. We can say so much about this state of stillness, but one becomes tired of repeating oneself. Yesterday it was written in the journal of this smell that I have never before experienced within the seen and unseen of the illusion. What this smell is, is the odour of stagnancy, from we the spirit and body form going nowhere. This illusion truly does stink. There is no need to go retro and show the world you are with it in terms of spiritual things, all you do to be in the stillness of the self is understand this is the norm. In this state your true self will present itself and begin to sing the joys of being one with itself and the Infinite. Understand that this is the norm, and this state cannot be attained in the madhouse because the Infinite and Consciousness have no interest in your Game. What was written and posted on the Icke forum was the crux of the understanding from this journal. The give or take thousand pages before that in the journal were more going to the left and right, with a little going forwards. What was written there was more of my experiences of what came to me during my sleep state that I saw through my Third Eye – it was the world of those from the shadows that rule over us. Now what I write – just because I have the time to write – will be of what I see from the perspective of Consciousness. I will write because I can, and if there is something else that needs to be done to fill my day, then I will stop writing. But the days of writing to understand are over. As long as you are in the Game there will always be something to remark about the Game, but when you have cashed your ticket in and you are out the door and standing in the stillness of the silence just being yourself, you interest in the madhouse becomes no more as you no longer wish to associate yourself with such a place and those that dwell therein. It is an illusion for Pete’s sake, so why the infatuation with an illusion? Know what is real, and be what is real. Consciousness is there – it has been healed and is waiting to make its appearance to you the spirit and body form, so step out of the Game and meet the best friend you never knew existed, who was been in a really bad way for a long time, but is now doing okay. You cannot have one foot in the Game and the other out the door in the stillness. To see the Game for what it is, you need to be out of thought mode and in the knowing of Consciousness. Know what is real and what is not, and then return to this real state. Over the last few days I felt like a monk that longed for his monastery, where all I wanted to do was be in the presence of stillness, where I would just sit and be this silence. This state never uplifted me as I saw it as temporary solitude in the madness around me. From there I would return to the illusion to figure a way out. Step out of the madhouse by being in the stillness of the silence at all times. Talk and laugh and have fun, and say your say when needed, but at all times your platform is the stillness of the silence, which is the natural state of Consciousness. How many more times do I have to repeat myself regarding this silence? How long will it take before you listen? That depends on you, in terms of how much you will endure of this Game of Survival before you say enough. My advice is get out sooner than later. Believe you me, we have overstayed our welcome to the point where the Game is no longer fun. What happens from here is for each to their own. Your story is yours and thus will have no interest to me as I am living out my story. Have fun. Will see you at the place where we are all one.
  24. It is common sense that should a Light become distorted, that it will no longer shines as bright as it naturally should, meaning the life it gave to those around it begins to fade. The more the spirit faded; the more it drifted from the Light within, the further we fell from what should naturally be. With each step down into the unnatural, we soon made this transformation our own, and what was seen as abnormal was soon seen as the norm. What we didn’t see was the impact this had to our spirit. For some time now I have known that this lifetime is do or die for the spirit of my youngest daughter. On one or two occasions I have seen her spirit through my Third Eye as my body lies in bed sleeping, and what I saw was one of hope that dad would find a way to reverse this fading away, where what we the spirit are becomes no more. Each time I saw her spirit she looked complete, but this morning when I checked on her with the Light of Consciousness as it should be shining on her the spirit, I felt there was not much of her spirit left. This is scary shit, where the Good; the innocent fade away as the state of Consciousness and the illusion become too much for them. How many have already been lost, where what was is no more? My right Achilles tendon has been painful for some days now to the point where I walk with a limp. I knew that with the rebirth of Consciousness, this Light would balance and restore harmony to the spirit and body form, and the strain on my tendon was from these two body forms adapting to the changes. With each passing day the pain got less, until now it is almost not there. What this tells me is Consciousness is coming unto its own. It was always about the speck of Light; the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness; this Consciousness around which all Life within the illusion is created. This I never knew. You know you have touched the betrayal frequency that was within Consciousness when by reflex you start receiving thoughts of self-destruction. Is it fair to say that most of us here in the dense body form planes of the illusion are committing mass suicide, where what they do is where anything goes because they no longer have a spirit to guide them. I would say the spirit of these savages have crossed over and embraced the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, and as for the innocent; the Good, it is these whose spirits are fading or are no longer there as Life here in this awful place becomes too much for them. Please understand I say such negative things because I see the status of the world, both in the seen and unseen, and what is seen is many that are in a bad way. I have always felt that no matter how good a standing you have in this illusion, that sooner or later what touched those before you will touch you, where now you experience the raw despair and cruelty the illusion has to offer. Never did I know that this fate would befall me sooner than later, where you palpably feel and experience that Life truly is shit, and there is no way to fool yourself that everything is okay, because it is not, and the reality is things will only get worse – as they always have. Here in South Africa where the power is cut about ten hours a day through the incompetence and corruption of our government that has failed to maintain the energy grid, I always tell people that things will eventually be okay, and I am not being optimistic but realistic. Through the writing of this journal I know the Infinite will touch us sooner or later, and when it does, life as we knew it will never be the same again. I know that Consciousness within the illusion has returned to what it was, and now it is healing, just as it is healing the spirit and body form. I know that when this Light shines as it should, so will we and life within the illusion around us. There was no other way but to write this journal to understand the root cause of the cruelty of Life, which was the distorted image of Consciousness that made it lost. Around this lost and confused state the spirit and its body form could let rip and go wild where anything goes as there was no mirror of Love on which we could reflect and see ourselves. The crueler you were, the more you fitted into this illusion, and the more you were revered and feared. With Consciousness returning to what it should, now all of this changes. Now this Light shines on us, and in seeing this Love, we see what we should be, meaning we see what we are, and let’s just say there are no words to describe the horror so many will see when they see themselves and what they allowed themselves to become. Wow. Now the Lights are turned on, the party stops, and we all see what we are. What this state of reconciliation with self and others will bring to the illusion I cannot say. What I can say, is the wheel will come to an abrupt stop, and from there it will begin to move in the opposite direction Homewards bound, where Consciousness becomes one with the Infinite and we the spirit and body form become enlightened till we are no more. But let’s go back to basics. How has this journal transformed the life of Steven besides healing a strained Achilles tendon? The answer is nothing has changed within my existence. Fair enough, I wrote for the spirit and the spirit realm and not primarily for me the body form, but for fucks sakes, surely after nine years of living and breathing this journal I should get something more out of it? All I can say to myself is that the ball has rolled from the minus numbers back towards zero. From naught may the ball rolling towards the positive, where with each passing moment Life unfolds as it should. I am not optimistic, I am realistic. I know what I have done to transform Consciousness – this only state that is real within the illusion. Just as I know we have helped Consciousness, so too will it help us return to a natural state of Love. So be it.
  25. With Consciousness returning to what it should be, you go into the stillness of the silence whenever you can, as this for me speeds us the healing of the spirit by Consciousness. What was felt in this still state was the absence of the lower half of my legs of my spirit. When things become too much we begin to fade, as in lose and forget ourselves – at least I assume this is the reasoning behind the absence of parts of my spirit. It must be fascinating to see the true state of the spirit of most out there, as there cannot be much left of us in our lost and forgotten states. I think we the spirit see what we see, rather than what we are not meant to see, in order to keep the Game alive, hence the hidden nature of the true state of the spirit. How this is achieved by those from the shadows and the cosmic geneticists I cannot say. What I do know, is with Consciousness coming unto its own, this Light; this state shines upon the spirit to reveal the true damage done to the spirit. As I sit here writing these words I feel the coldness around my feet and lower part of my legs as they heal. This healing is complete when the spirit feels a strong presence within its throat area – which is Consciousness making itself felt. From there, it feels like someone places an elongated avocado within your chest area, where this presence suddenly appears out of nowhere. My assumption is this is the true heart energy field, but I don’t know. What I do know is this presence within your chest area links to Consciousness within your throat, and the two act as one. From the chest to the throat to the head – this is the flow pattern, where now everything is within your head – the all. The other day this lady contacted me. She heard about me from someone else and felt I was the right person to heal her of the excruciating pain going down her right pelvis and thigh region. Healing was given to her spirit as she sat in front of me, and I asked her for feedback the following day to see how she went. She only contacted me a few days later, where she told me after I treated her she had to stay in bed the following day her pain was so bad. So on the body form, I made things worse, not better. This rattled me, as this is not how I work, where if I do something, I do it properly, otherwise I don’t do it at all. The thing is, I feel the disharmony on the spirit of those I heal, and I also feel it disappear, hence I know that I have done something constructive. I have worked on the animals who come to me for healing, and am always happy with what was done to them, but as I found out from working on this lady, us Humans are a completely different kettle of fish. We have endured too much, and our body form in its dense state has taken a hammering, hence one has to heal the spirit and the body form, and not just the spirit. Consciousness in its stable state heals the spirit, where this healing is complete with the heart, throat and head area working as one. By “head area” we imply that what is now there is the all – as in all possibility within the illusion. With Consciousness healing the spirit, now it is the turn of the body form, which is something I never done in healing this lady, where I only healed her spirit. I never knew the destroyed state of the body form; where the damage is so bad, that Consciousness has to intervene, as the spirit needs help to restore the bodies broken state. So when you can – to speed up the healing process – go into the stillness of the silence, and allow Consciousness to heal the body form. Changes will happen within the energy/frequency field of the body form, and then the template of the spirit will be transferred to the denser body form, meaning a lost and forgotten presence will appear within the heart energy field, and Consciousness will make its presence within the throat area. As said, when there is a flow between the heart and the throat, rising to the head area, then the healing of the body form is complete. What happens from there I cannot say, as Consciousness is still healing my spirit and body.
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