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steven geldenhuys

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  1. Two nights back Gypsy woke me up from a deep sleep. I turned around to lie on my back and there I saw a rectangular drone camera looking at me. The question to ask, if this illusion is a holographic simulation, then where are we? Where is our Consciousness stored? Go into the stillness of the silence and return Consciousness from the gut to the throat area. Now Consciousness is “above the level of intelligence” from where it came – where you and I the spirit and body form are located. Now Consciousness is in this world but not of it, where it raises the spirit and body form to the level of “intelligence” of the throat area, which is a representation of the illusionary Garden that Queen Semiramis intended it to be. So to answer the question of where our Consciousness was stored, it was stored in a dense plane controlled by Beasts, the cosmic geneticists and the architects of the illusion. This is now no more, where as said, it is now in this world – dense plane – but not of it, and how this was achieved was by informing Consciousness of what should be; how the illusion was intended to be, where we sent Consciousness to the Beautiful illusionary Garden to know what the norm. This heightened awareness state touches the spirit and body form to allow us to also be in this world but not of it. 3:06 PM 30/06/2023 If you asked me what kept us in the dense plane of the illusion, I would say it was two factors. The first was our will do destroy, which made us call this awful place home, where fire was met with fire. In the fields of Infinite Love, what there is, is to be – there is nothing else, as this is who we are, but here in the dense illusion we quickly met our match where Life became bloody difficult. Our foundation was survival, and from here we either sank or swum, where you uplift or you destroy. Any guess which state we embraced and made our own? My wife’s loves me – I know she does. What I also know is there is a will within her to destroy me. You either uplift or you destroy, where indifference is seen as destroying, because there you don’t care. It was a Monday a week or two back where I was impressed with myself. I contacted two of my patients and asked them how they were doing. This I have not been able to do before, because to ask means to stop, go back, and ask someone “how are you?” This I never had the strength to do in the past because the only energy I had was to keep one foot ahead of the other to move forwards. So am I cruel? Do I not care about others? If I am not uplifting or helping others, then surely I am destroying them by not being there for them? That is a question one cannot answer because it is an unfair question. I do my best, trying to be kind wherever I am. We do not understand to what level we have fallen. It is tough out there, where integrity has been bullied out the way to make place for the brute that destroys and takes by force. We have lived in a hell for a long time, and it has been bloody difficult. Last night as I slept I looked down on the left upper thigh region of my spirit. There I saw what looked like about fifty acupuncture looking needles embedded within my spirit. This was placed within my spirit to limit it, as well as the body form. By knowing they were they, they were removed, and from there my spirit found itself in an unfamiliar place. In the distance were about three Human looking spirits that were waiting for me. A blind man could see that these fuckers were up to no good, and I was right, because when my spirit interacted with them, they began to attack my spirit. A rifle and a knife were produced by them, which is one of the many weapons used by the cosmic assassins. I fought back, keeping their weapons away from me. As my body form lay in bed I felt an entity stretched along the lower part of my abdominal cavity. What these spirits placed inside of me was huge and living and disharmonious, as in to destroy Steven, but the specifics of what it was I cannot say. Within a minute or two it was no longer within me, and those evil spirits were no more in my space. This is the second factor that kept us in the dense illusion, where you cannot solve a problem with the same level of intelligence that created it – you cannot depart the dense illusion if you know of nothing else. We had no option but to stay in this dense illusionary plane. What this means is we could not see what was inflicted upon us the spirit, Consciousness and the body form because we could not rise above the disharmony all around us, where we saw the abnormal as normal. Those needles inserted into my spirit were done by those from the shadows, where I never saw them coming and was ignorant to what was done to me. We see what we want to see, and we shut off from the rest because we have no antidote to this cruelty inflicted upon us from those from the shadows. What came to me that I saw in my sleep state over the last nine years is something I choose to see, because I had enough of the cruelty of Life. These Beasts are there for all to see, but why look when there is nothing you can do to change your awful predicament as this is all you know. We have been played and plagued by cruelty, and there was nowhere to go to rise above it where it may no longer touch us. All of this has changed, where the pathway has opened to where we belong. 3rd July, 2023 On the level of Consciousness and the spirit there is an outward expansion of the energy at the area of the left jaw joint.. Then there appears, what feels like a large boulder just off the left side of the face. This mass/boulder of energy then attaches to the back of the head, where its energy flows into the head region. Now you start becoming in this world but not of it, where what you were becomes no more with each passing day. Where this boulder/mass of energy arose from, was the illusionary Garden as it was intended to be, namely devoid of Disharmony. Now you are plugged into this energy field, and what you wish to bring forth to you to achieve peace, you plug this too into this energy field of Queen Semiramis’ illusion as it was intended to be. Now you play with the dense frequency of the illusion by plugging into it from this less dense state, and from there making it your own. Yesterday throughout the day felt this vertical line of pain along the left side of my ribcage. At some stages the pain was so bad it made me wince. From where was this pain? I would say it arose from a break/tear in the spirit and Consciousness. When things began to get too bad something had to give. In many of us the mind shears, meaning a level of madness sets in, but in some cases there is collateral damage to the spirit and Consciousness, where it literally breaks/tears. What we were is now no more. So heal the tear by knowing it is there, and from there plug into this less dense state of Awareness to lead the way. So be it. 5th July, 2023 How were we plugged into the illusion? Maybe that question can be answered by asking another question, namely why did evil Serpent souls enter our spirit through the base of the left foot to gain access to the Serpent soul within? From the base of the left foot, trace the path from where these evil Serpent souls came from. It’s like in the movie Monsters Inc. where a door is opened to enter the realm of children’s bedrooms, where the kids are given a fright and their energy is captured and stored to be taken back to the Monster world. This literally happens, and I say this because I have seen those depart with my energy to go to their world, with the exception that I was not given a fright, rather a dream was implanted that my spirit followed, where the spirits attention to the dream gave off energy. Similarly, from the base of the spirits left foot, this frequency footprint is attached to a central hub, and from there, access is given to enter the spirit to try and destroy the Serpent soul within. It is my belief that those of us with auto-immune diseases are a result of the Serpent soul within being attacked and removed from its canal within the spirit. With this “rock;” this Serpent, no longer being there, we have no defenses, and what happens then, is from the base of the left foot our Life-force is drained from us into this central hub. I say this because in assessing a lady with an auto-immune disease, there was no Serpent soul within, and it felt like her left foot was clamped into a different reality whilst her energy was drained from her via her left foot into this reality. The question one has to ask, is to what should we be plugged into? An energy force is felt at the middle of the back of the neck and base of the skull. This is where we should be plugged into the illusion, and this is done so now, with the base of the left foot being closed off to any other reality. To play with and access the dense reality we need to be plugged into it as we should be, which is done now. So what made us a slave species, was our connection through the base of our left foot into this central hub. Others within the illusion, as well as their world, are not locked into this central hub via their left foot, rather they are connected to their reality at the back of their necks. The slaves had no will, as in they could not manipulate and play with reality. Sure enough, we have magicians that can perform remarkable feats, but they are limited to the restrictions of age and death as two examples, whereas the non-slaves are put on ice as they play with their reality until the sights are set on them and they are turned to a slave species. So now follow the sequence of attachments: You the spirit and Consciousness are plugged into the dense illusion, where you are no longer a slave species. What superimposes your state is being plugged into the reality of the illusionary Garden as it should be, meaning there is no disharmony there. Over the last few nights the cosmic assassins have regularly visited. How is this possible after all has been said and done? The answer is we were still connected to the slave species central hub, making us vulnerable to Beasts. Being plugged into the illusion as it should be, this state guides us to what is harmonious, peaceful and bliss. The programmed reality of our future, present and past are no more. Now we are on auto-pilot with the less dense frequency of the illusionary Garden leading the way. How do I know this to be the truth? I don’t. The proof of the pudding is what comes in this night. 6th July, 2023. You don’t know it, but you cannot be happy as long as I am unhappy. The same is true of me towards you. There was a sisterhood and brotherhood that once united all of us with each other, as well as with nature and the animals. We expressed this Oneness that we Consciousness all are. How far we have fallen from what should be a natural, utopian state. What comes at night now as I close my eyes to sleep are beings from other worlds that bathe in my frequency field. I feel the lost frequency state of their Consciousness, as well as the short, thick white worms that are embedded deep with their face. These are my brothers and sisters that come from worlds unknown to us, where they enter my space to be healed without me blinking an eyelid. There is nothing worse than being in a place where you don’t belong – there is nothing worse than this. What is this place I speak of – it is being amongst the cruel and callous; it is being deprived of nature. I miss being around my own. I miss being around open spaces, where it is only me and nature. All these things I miss. I miss what should be natural and normal to us. 9th July, 2023 The implanted dream last night was of me talking to the estate agent about the house I wanted to buy where me and my family would be most happy. I was at the location of the house, cleaning the sides of the pool with a brush, asking her if he (the owner) would not come down in price. “He would,” she said, “but it has to be cash.” I don’t know what it was that pulled me out the implanted dream, but I turned around as I lay in bed to lie face up. There I saw this fat face lying next to me. This spirit was so fat it could not sit up – everything had to be done from a lying down position. This spirit was taking scoops of my energy and stuffing it into its mouth. I then asked those around me – all the spirits around me – why we never help each other? Why do we always just parasite from one another? From there I felt the activity of those around me, and I felt this broad, flat piece of rope as it was pulled away from where it was lying on my face. As I write these words now I am super-down. Have had enough. What else is there to understand? Can those from the Infinite be so bloody useless that they cannot help us? And what about me? – Why can’t I help myself? Surely we cannot all be so lost that we are incapable of rising above this survival status within the illusion? Woke up this morning by Gypsy having her nose right against mine – she was smelling the breath I was exhaling. A few weeks ago saw the spirit of my deceased dog Princess, where all she done was smell what came from my nose. So what am I missing? After all that has been said and done, what are we missing, because nothing has changed in my existence? I ask for help from above, as have the trillions before me, where, as with them, all I get is an absence where there should be a God of Love. On the unseen, what does the breath within the lungs represent? What are the animals smelling that is within, where you go beyond that to what is behind the shadows that keeps this awful place intact? From one central ring comes off other rings, where these rings are shot forth from the original one. These rings come to define the illusion, were where they come to settle, they determine the fate of those that dwell there. Go back to the original template ring so that we may understand it. This ring is the strength of the illusion. When we lost our good hearts, we needed a strength to hold onto, and from this need this ring was born. One can call it the air we breathe such is its importance to us. It is our grounding from where we make our stand within the illusion – it is our core – I would say this to be literally so. All the good and all the bad comes from the foundation of this original ring. It is also the watch-tower in which the Dragon souls were kept captive. This original ring is the Serpent who bit onto its own tail, and from this Reptilian frequency the illusion expanded outwards through the rings that flew off from the original ring. What I do now is return to this original ring Consciousness as it should be, where Consciousness is no longer lost. And of course we show this ring our Love, where we thank this Serpent for Loving and caring for us. There was no ill intent in this Serpent/Reptilian frequency wanting to help, and I say this was so at the very beginning. As many began to love the power of this Reptilian frequency this ring was held intact at all costs, from where Evil was born. Now it is no more. Now it is relieved of its duty of providing stability within the illusion when there was none. Now we allow Sophia and Semiramis, as well as Consciousness to take over. “Have no fear my friend. Let go and merely be. We thank you for your kindness – one that came to be abused by Beasts. Let go now of yourself and merely be. We are in the safe hands of a God and a Creator, as well as Consciousness in its remembered state. Let go and be. We Love you.” This original ring was found around my left elbow. I feel it spinning now around its axis, where this spinning slows down and then stops, and from there this Serpent lengthens out and returns to the Infinite deep within the heart energy field. Our base foundation is no longer there. The frequency that was the Reptilian frequency that came to define the illusion is no more. May the Love of a God and a Creator now shine through and touch us all. 10th July, 2023. Last night as I slept my spirit met this Chinese cosmic assassin. She was dressed in her elaborate garment, where she walked around doing what she done best and all she wanted to know, namely destroying others. The knife was her weapon of preference and I felt it stab me in the left inner bicep muscle. Then as I pulled my spirit back from this place and I lay in bed feeling this wound on my spirit that would have touched my body form, I once again wondered where are the beings of Love? If you hope and you wait, it can be a long wait, where nothing arrives, so I said to myself that I am a being of Love, and I shine my Love to all in the seen and unseen, including to myself. And this is true, because I am a being of Love, as we all are if only we knew ourselves and expressed this knowing. So I am not Steven, this biological computer and manufactured spirit – I am a being of Love. I am Consciousness what is, what should be, and I call on those I Love and who Love me to be one with me. I am what I am, and I am this through understanding what should be and what went wrong at the very beginning. I am what I am, where I am Love, and thus there is nothing but Love in my space. Just as I give off Love, so too does Love come my way, and nothing but Love. In this state of Love I play with the illusion and make it my own as there is much Beauty to be found here. When I am finished playing I shed this biological computer and spirit form and return to the Infinite that is my Home. So be it. 11th July, 2023 The problem with being thrown into a place where we don’t belong, is you either sink or swim. We were meant for another planet with our freedoms intact, and then the illusion began to fall apart, so a slave species was needed, so we were modified and dumped on this section of the illusion. How many species out there in how many worlds are slaves – a food source – to the Beasts of the illusion I cannot say. We can spend lifetimes wiping away what was done to us to suppress us the spirit and Consciousness, but always hit the primary. How many primaries are there that are left? I would say just one. And what is it? At the left side of the base of the skull there is something going on there that shouldn’t, and I say this because I feel pain there now. What happened there that locked us into the illusion? They took away our memory. (What was inside the left “skull” they took away, and this emptiness/instability within caused the pain I felt at left back area of the skull.) They made us forget what is normal and natural – they made us forget the complete opposite to what survival is. This memory of what was and what should be is returned to us now. Open yourself up to this understanding – do not be afraid to welcome and explore the norm. So be it. 12th July, 2023 The illusion became a well-oiled machine, balancing this Order out of Chaos, but let’s be honest and say there was a massive element of luck as well. Somewhere along the line, at some stage of our existence, we Loved, and we Loved unconditionally. Then we got touched by the cruelty of Life, and now love began to hurt like hell. This was the luck for the Beasts, the cosmic geneticists, and the architects of the illusion, where what we were – this Love – became frozen in a cold ice, and we have never really thawed out since then. This state of Consciousness made us putty in the hands of the cruel, where we could be moulded into anything they wanted without us making a stand and saying no. As a being of Love, I break now within all this icy mould so that we may all awaken to this Love that we are and move forwards. I always wondered why, after all has been said and done, why we are in this stagnant state of going nowhere slowly. Now I know – it was what the cruelty of Life done to us the Love that we are. In a state of bewilderment we froze as cruelty stuck in its icy claws and scarred us into a frozen state as we were unable to make sense of this uncalled for and senseless barbaric behaviour by so-called civilized beings. Trust me when I say that the impact of the cruelty of Life has touched us all, and its impact has never really left us. If you have Loved, and this Love was broken, don’t feel all has been lost. Get up, and console to yourself that you are open to friendship, and from there walk in the Love that you are. Do this to make a wrong right, where you may once again be Love. This is your natural state. 06:48 13/07/2023 It was felt how the foundation of Consciousness awakened to itself. Two intertwining strands came alive at the core of Consciousness, with the two ends having no beginning and no ending as they touch the Infinite. 13/07/2023 My left Achilles tendon is intermittently painful to the point where it gives me a limp, so there is something I am missing. What is the cause, and what is the primary? To answer the questions, I get the smell of the stench of the illusion. Was the “tendon cut” to keep us in the illusion, where by smelling the illusion, this implies we were going nowhere as long as this intentional sabotage was there? I don’t know – let’s see what happens, where if it was sabotage, this wrong is made right now. *** There is something I am missing. Ask me what I need, and I will tell you I need to walk with the Love of a God, where I know I am not alone, and thus am cared for. So what will bring forth this Love – is the problem with me, or is it with a God and a Creator? Go into the stillness of the silence to see if the blockage is with oneself,, and one feels this movement just to the left and below the left knee. It is like something is being poured into this area of the leg. When this pouring stops from the opening at the leg being closed, one feels the leg and the foot being turned in an anti-clockwise direction, as if it is being twisted off. Now from the top of the head to where this hole in the leg was there is a hose of sorts connecting these two areas. Something was syphoned from the top of the head to this hole in the left leg just below and to the left of the knee. Something on the left side of the brain was continually stimulated, and this substance that was produced was poured via this hose into the left leg. This substance poured down the left Achilles tendon. Now severe pain is felt at left cheek in front of left ear. Was the left leg an artificial limb to hide the goings on of the manufactured spirit and biological computer? From the left foot, where did this substance go to? I would say it went into the System to keep us and the illusion intact. What was this substance? This hose extends beyond the left brain in a downward position within the skull to suck up the essence of Consciousness, which is then fed, as said, to keep us and the illusion intact. So why is my left Achilles tendon painful to the point where it is making me limp? The reason is that Consciousness is not feeding its essence through this pipe down the left leg into the System via the Achilles tendon, hence this false tendon is not being nourished. How should this network operate to ensure our freedom from the System and the illusion? There should not be a hose. Consciousness should merely be, where it expresses itself through the spirit and biological computer. What should be at the left leg and foot area? An opposite replica of what was on the right foot is transferred to become the left foot, and now there is a closed system for the spirit and biological computer, where we do not bleed the essence of Consciousness into the System that keeps the illusion alive. How were we to ever to escape this trap? Now you go into the stillness of the silence to assess the Creator and a God. What was done to us was done to Sophia and Semiramis, and by being undone in us it is undone in them. What this all means is Consciousness is no longer feeding a disharmonious System. May we the spirit and body form now rise above all this mess. 13/07/2023 The name of the game was Deceit, where you are kept in the dark as to what happens to you. Your best interests, as mine, were never a priority. So we were lied to, to appease us, so the truth may be hidden that our best interests were never a priority. How did this happen – how could we never see a lie for what it was worth, because surely the lie was what gave the fool control over us. How do you know if someone is telling the truth or a lie to you? What does the truth do? – It uplifts; it rejuvenates; it enriches. The lie does the complete opposite. The thing is, when you are lost, you don’t know what to believe, and in truth the lie or the truth is irrelevant, because what matters is you are lost. So the truth and the lie were of little significance in our existence – what mattered was we were lost, and this was the primary problem. Is Consciousness still lost? What I can say is its essence is now its own, where it holds onto its energy/essence, and may this rise Consciousness out of the cesspool where it was to see what it is and where it belongs. The target was always Consciousness – it was never the biological computer or the spirit. These Beasts had to deceive and tap into this Consciousness that arose from the fields of Infinite Love to keep their Game intact. The bad news for them is their power supply is no more as Consciousness holds onto its essence to merely be. Now the house of cards comes a tumbling down, where the days of doing what you want when you want because you can are over. I wrote this journal for all, because I am part of the all. Your suffering is mine, and if your integrity is intact, my suffering is yours. Never once have I thought primarily of me, because to focus on the big picture one has to always see the we. This I have done, and along the way I have been battered and bruised by total strangers, as well as those I Love most in this existence. These blows have taken their toll, where what this Steven needs now is a sanctuary to lick my wounds and heal. This is all I ask for from those in the unseen in exchange for setting Consciousness free from its lost state – I ask for a sanctuary close to nature that will bestow upon me peace and quiet in this noisy, mad world. I need a place that shuts me out from disharmony. I can easily find peace within, but with the peace without, as in a place where I can call home, I need their help because I don’t have the power of money at my disposal, as well as the wisdom as to where I will best fit in. May this help and payment for services rendered happen sooner than later. So be it. 14th July, 2023 Throughout the ages, what did the Sun symbol represent – it represented Consciousness. This was the lamp in the cave of treasures; it was the real boy, that above everything, that Pinocchio wished to be; it was the goose that laid the golden eggs. And why this treasure was so priceless, was because it came from a place that was real – from a place we can call Home; the fields of Infinite Love. Find this treasure, become what you are, and you are limitless, and please understand that this is the norm. If there is something I have missed, then I will find it, but for now I believe this Sun is awakened. Now it just needs to shine. 15th July, 2023 The left leg and foot was the basis around which the manufactured spirit and biological body form were created. It has been known for some time that the base of the left foot was the portal through which disharmonious entities entered our space to attack the Serpent soul within the spirit. I never knew about this false left foot and leg that was a casing – a route – through which the essence of Consciousness was released to keep the system of the illusion running. But there is something else at this left leg and foot area that one need to address. We were standing on the machine that was the illusion. The question is, where should we be? Where do we belong within the illusion, and how are we plugged into this state? We are meant to be plugged into the Infinite that is deep within the chest area of the spirit and biological computer. At the base of the left foot we were outsourcing our essence to disharmony, and deep within the chest area we that is Consciousness were connected to Home, but this has not been the case. As I sit here writing these words there is so much activity at the left leg and foot, where this integration with the machine has been for so long. Let’s swing things to what should be the norm according to harmony. What kept us uniting as one with the machine through the left leg and foot? Or put a different way, what should be at the left foot and leg that is not there? Was it us – did we sign a contract to be part of this disharmonious machine that kept the illusion ticking over? Were we deceived and lied to, where we were made to believe that we were part of some greater good, where we done our part – our contribution – to the way of Life within the illusion by giving of our energy to keep our existence and that of all afloat? With understanding of where we are, and where we should be, we release our association to the machine and return to the Infinite. The activity that was around the left leg and foot now moves to the heart area of the spirit and biological computer, and most importantly, within Consciousness. (If I had to guess, I would say Consciousness was deceived to believe it was part of the greater good to supply the illusion with its essence. They preyed on our good hearts and conscience whilst killing us softly.) 16/07/2023 When the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness; what we call Consciousness, was first felt within our forms, I said it was initially hidden within our nose, and from there it moved to the throat area. It’s a bugger when you know nothing, because that’s just it – I know nothing. In healing the Consciousness that defines the machine of the illusion, something was smelt within what we would call the nose area. Something was awakened in this part of the machine, and it was a wondrous smell. Consciousness was not hidden in the area of our forms we would call the nose region – it was the heart of Consciousness i.e. the part of Consciousness that defines it, that was hidden in the nose region. This core of what we are is returned to Consciousness now, and it remains in this state where it belongs. So be it. 16/07/2023 What you and I cannot fathom is the end product of what insanity and evil combined brings forth. The journal is not called What the Animals Taught Me for nothing. Checked on Snoekie earlier on – an old Dachshund client of mine – as her owner said she was not well. Zoomed out to see the big picture as to what is affecting this dog, and the picture of what I saw and felt in the stillness of the silence was a bird with its talons in a lifeless dragon. This bird flew up with its cargo and then dumped the lifeless form of the dragon. (What I see and feel is so I may interpret the message through my limited understanding, so don’t see the picture in a literal sense. The main resident of the illusion are Dragons, as they were the first to enter this Garden, together with the Serpents. The Serpents – as in so many of them, but not all – became touched by insanity, where what they do and say does not make logical sense, with the outcome of this cocktail being cruelty. The Dragons have been caged, but all times they remained with their purity of heart, and that is why I have never seen them in my sleep state – because I only saw what the illusion came to be and what it was inhabited and ruled by at its core, which were insane and cruel beings in the seen and unseen, ones who lacked foresight by never caring that what they done to others they done to themselves add infinity. “I destroy you, and at the same time I will, one hundred percent guaranteed, destroy myself in the process. That this destruction does not touch me right now means I can continue to destroy you and others because right now, in this moment, I am okay.” That, it madness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) If I cannot win, then nobody can – that is the attitude of those that rule over the illusion. But “win” is not the right word, as deep down they knew their run would come to an eventual end, where all lose, including them. So by pressing the kill-switch now, they merely bring forth the inevitable. For the first time in writing this journal, I am lost for words, as how do you undo what has already been set into motion at the core of the illusion. The animals have felt this wave of destruction, so it is just a question of time before we do. Yesterday meant to write about something that has been on my mind for some time, so now is as good a time as any to say my say. What we are is Consciousness, but what is Consciousness? We know we arose from the stillness of the silence within the Infinite, and from this stillness we came forth through the will of the Creators to play in the fields of Infinite Love. Why we played was to express the Beauty and Joy of what is – that which the Infinite is. As a solar flare leaving the sun, we came forth from the stillness of the silence of the Infinite to be an expression of what we arose from, and the picture for all who saw us was one of Beauty. This Beauty is a state – it is not a knee-buckling, jaw-dropping moment to behold – it is a state that merely is. As teenagers my now wife and I worked at the same location on weekends to make pocket-money. We were merely acquaintances, where there was no magnetic charge between the two of us. Looking back, I fell in love with her innocence, where she really knew nothing of the reality of this world. What I never knew was innocence can sometimes be a double-edged sword, where the opposite side of innocence is naivety, which is a diplomatic word to describe stupidity. Innocence is not wisdom; it is a not understanding. Innocence is a state that belongs in the Infinite and not in the illusion. We that are Consciousness, namely the Innocent, were never meant to be of an existence that involved the “me” rather than the natural “we.” In writing this journal on a full-time basis for about two weeks short of nine and a half years, never have I given an adequate description of what we are – and how ridiculous is that. So allow me to do my best now to describe what you and me and all of us are. Firstly, what came from the illusion when things began to go wrong, as in we began to want for “me” and not “we,” was a Light was created – a frequency/state that was unknown to us as it cannot exist within the Infinite. Where we came from was Blackness, but not a colour blackness, or a black/dark state, but rather a Blackness from which arose the All. This Blackness is Everything – the foundation of All – and from this Blackness/foundation we that are, Consciousness was brought forth to play in the fields of Infinite Love. Now we became an expression of this Blackness, and when we were finished playing, we returned to this Blackness. This Blackness is a euphoria where you understand that We are Everything, so even while we play, what we express is always done with a knowing/understanding of what we are. What I have described is what you are – this Consciousness, and when this what you are entered the illusion, and this Light/disharmony/dense state began to shine on us, our innocence flipped to show the other side, namely naivety. This Naivety meant we were putty in the hands of the shrewd and the cunning, and this is the state of Consciousness in so many realms of the illusion, where with each deception we fall further and further into a dense state where we forget who and what we are and from where we arose. To solve this dilemma, Consciousness returns to Innocence, and the Naivety that is was, where it is lead like a puppy-dog on a leash by evil beings, is no more. What we were, which was naïve beings, is no more, where we go back to what we naturally are, which is Innocence. The difference between Naivety and Innocence, is one existed in the illusion, and the other existed in the Infinite. Now we have to wise up, where our Innocence shines in the illusion and in the Infinite. That is the only way we can get out of this mess, where we that is Consciousness return to what we are, and everything we have come to believe in this illusionary realm is no more. In other words, our Naivety is wiped away from our existence, and all that is left is what we naturally are, which is our Innocence. This Innocence shines forth from Consciousness, and this deletes the disharmony that is coming our way, as this state of disharmony is unknown in Innocence. Those that enjoy playing dirty with feel this wave, but always there is the option that this journal presents to them, where their Naivety can turn to Innocence whenever they wish. May you now know yourself. Whilst in the illusion, this Innocence that you Consciousness is, shines forth and touches all. Now like is drawn to like, and you will be where you belong and amongst your own in this place until you decide to return from where you played and arose from. In that moment the spirit and body form – these illusionary forms – are absorbed by you that is Consciousness to become one with you and the All. So be it. 17/07/2023 One of the things Carol Clarke said to me in her reading a good ten years ago was that I would be a doctor to the world. Last night as soon as I closed my eyes to sleep, through my Third Eye saw these spirits walking past me as I lay in bed. They were huddled up right close to each other, and looked Human, with the dark skins of those in South America. They wore clothes, and I what I soon understood was that they were there to sort out what disharmony affected them. Soon I fell asleep, and throughout the whole night this tribe told me its dilemmas. What was understood through the writings of this journal were applied to them, and from there all that was needed was time to heal, as now the base foundation of who and what they are and where they belong was set within their Consciousness. Now, when others are assisted, when I breathe I go into their world that is within me and transform to what should be. Done the same for me this morning, and boy-oh-boy was I in a bad way. Yesterday decided to poke myself with a cancer frequency today as have had enough of this place, and when I healed myself this morning, understood why I was willing to take such drastic measures – I was at the end of what I am and what I have to offer; there wasn’t much more left inside of me to carry on the fight. Let’s see what happens. 19th July, 2023 And so one falls. My wife took me as far as she could, until I told her to stop loving me because I don’t like her idea of what love means, so she stopped the run as she knew she would lose me forever in the seen and unseen. My eldest daughter received the baton from my wife and began to run strong, where I felt the cold shivers within me every time she shamed me. To both – to mother and daughter – there is something wrong, as the normal do not destroy the innocent. Which begs us to ask one last question: “What do those that threw away integrity have that we do not?” What I see that comes during my sleep state nobody else has seen. In all the worlds of the seen and unseen, nobody has seen what I have taken the courage to behold in front of my eyes. In asking the above question, fell asleep at about half past three this morning. My spirit found itself in a place where I pulled my wife’s face apart. (This is where I experienced an absence of integrity to understand the division between those that have it and those that gleefully threw it away.) Was pulled back from this place to where my body form was sleeping. It looked like something between a duck and a penguin. There were a few of them, and they had some device that scooped up the energy that my spirit had just emitted – this evil, sickening, lack of integrity energy. There was something else that walked amongst these duck-looking entities. This creature was made of a plastic material and was about two feet high. It was talking on a walkie-talkie radio also made of plastic. Taking up the rear of this entourage was a tall man with a beard of sorts – he was made up of the same plastic as the short one. He stopped and talked to me, as if trying to explain something to me. Then the short one got on a tablet and connected to someone on its screen, where the two of them discussed this Steven. Through all of that rigmarole something was done to the left side of my head, and it is here – now – that we find out what the cruel have that we don’t. What makes them so “special” where they lack empathy and remorse? I know the answer to this question because to understand them, I had to become them. (But this is only from those in the shadows that are playing with me, who refuse to accept that this journal, as well as their cruel game, is over, where we walk away from the savage that they are. “No Steven, wait. There is something else you need to understand?” And so I was pulled into this state that was my loving wife and daughter and billions before them. When you walk away, these savages understand there is no one left to play with, where all that is left is them with themselves.) What is there in those that discarded integrity is an implanted frequency that is unknown in the innocent. Their world, and yours and mine, are not the same, where there is no similarity or likeness between the two. On the top left side of their head is a sunken twirling crater, and alive within this space is the frequency of the ones who relish in destroying, where this is all they want to know. This frequency is within them and extends down into their left eye, meaning this cruel state is their world where it defines them. And this world they embraced, where to destroy is what they are. From where did this frequency arise? It was born in the vacuum of remorse, where what you done you know was wrong. I say “vacuum,” because from here one either repents, and from there goes forwards, or one does not repent, meaning you embrace your most foul deed, where you are okay with what you have just done. Now the way “forwards” is to carry on doing what you have just done, where this is the norm for you. My cock was my downfall all those lifetimes ago, as this part of me fell in love with my wife, where the desire to have intercourse clouded my reason as to what standard of spirit I am getting myself involved in. Of course my wife is not all bad, but what is bad destroys viciously. So sure, just like you, I have and had faults, where I messed up, but never will I destroy another and be pleased with my actions. Nothing gives me the right to destroy because I am having a bad day or lifetime. If I had to guess, there was no remorse in the cruel because they never had someone to turn to, to help make their wrong a right. They could not undo what they had just done, and as no help was coming their way – or that of their victim – they just carried on with this path of destruction which came to define them. Always have I said we cannot do this alone. Always have I said we need Divine Intervention, and never so more than the cruel. This living crater with its frequency within is removed from the space of the savage – the Beasts in the seen and unseen – so that they may start anew. And of course this is accepted by those who understand their path leads to guaranteed annihilation of their self. It is now that I decide to walk away from this journal and the cruel of the illusion. I have had enough of their game, as this pawn called Steven never gave permission to be destroyed and shamed, especially from those whom I loved more than life itself. No more. 20/07/2023 You know what keeps me going – is that somehow, somewhere, there is a Goodness that belongs. This is natural, disharmony is unnatural. A few days back when my daughter treated me with disrespect, I walked to the car to drive her somewhere, and a thought stopped me in my tracks that gave me a good laugh. All I ever wanted for my family was to give them the best. Unfortunately I never had the money to buy them literally anything, but in my heart what drove me was that they only get the best. The definition of this “only the best” was where they get the basics, where they are around others who have respect for themselves, and thus have respect for those around them – my family members included. Since my wife and I moved in together – all those years ago – I always had the unfortunate task of implementing what was important to me, where I had to regularly ask scum to consider/respect those around them by not playing their music so load. Their response was always horrific – swearing at me and wanting to start a physical confrontation. This, of course, is what you get when you confront scum and ask them to consider others, but these awful encounters never made me back down from tackling the next scum when we moved to different locations. Always they were there – among the rich and the poor; all classes and all races. So what gave me a good laugh that stopped me in my tracks the other day as I walked to my car, was never did I consider that those who stayed under the same roof as me were just like the scum all around me, where they had no respect for me, and thus none for themselves. As has been said, I have been lost and lonely and confused my whole life, but never did I feel this gave me the right to be cruel to others. My self-respect would not allow that. And then that night, when I told my wife what gave me a good laugh, I understood we spend a great deal of our lives doing/giving to others what we feel is best for them – because it is important to us. So you live your life for others by giving them what you feel they need, where you never give it to yourself first, because you are not important, where those you love are more important to you than you are to yourself. And where is your self-respect in that? To help others, first help yourself, where you may be in a position to help them by giving them what you already have. How can you help anyone as you cannot give them what you lack. You know what is important what they need, and you live your life making sure they get it, but how can they receive what is important to you when you yourself cannot achieve it because your focus is on them rather than yourself? In a nutshell: Live through being an example to others, rather than living for them. And this is what I decided to do. The story is out there in the unseen as to what happened before the beginning of time that we all got into this mess, but where too from there? Do we expect the cruel to suddenly become kind? I don’t think so, as many like what they have become, so where does this leave me and you? Of course, the answer as we know it now, is have self-respect and bring forth into your existence what is important to you. My self-respect opens me up to see my faults so that they may be corrected. I tell the truth, and I am kind to others, no matter how down I am. I abhor violence, especially to the slaughter of the animals, as well as the destruction of nature. My hearts bleeds to the cruelty we inflict on all, where what we do is done and seen as the norm. I only want the best for me as each day I do my best to be as close as possible to my God of Love, where I know this God is also good and kind and thus also only wants the best for me. They say that like attracts like, but this is not true – or maybe it is. Have I had self-respect for myself, or have I lived my life doing what I feel in my heart is what is best for others? I would say the latter of the two. But all of this now changes, where I live for me, because what I believe in, is important to me. What made me believe that what was important to me had to be important to others as well? Now I live for me. Now I write for me, because should the truth be told, my life is a mess. What will I do with all that has come to be understood in this journal? The answer is I now have self-respect, where I demand that I be what I am – which is a force of Consciousness which is pure Love that is backed up by a Creator and a God. Now like attracts like, where only the frequency of self-respect is in my existence as this self-respect is what I am. So be it. 22/07/2023 Ask yourself what is important. What is important is to be what you are. What you are in Consciousness, and this is not just a word that sounds great yet does not feature in your existence. Whatever you give attention to, you give energy to – that statement defines the nature of your existence throughout history. All you have ever done is feed the System and the cruel Beasts with your energy, and by “your energy” we imply you the body form and spirit. But these two dummies were never enough – the crown jewel had to be manipulated and deceived, so always the target was Consciousness, as those cosmic geneticists knew that without Consciousness remaining lost and a fraction of what it is, there is no way the illusion, as well as their wicked ways, may remain intact. Whatever you give attention to, you give energy to, so now do the complete opposite of what you have always done. Give attention to Consciousness within, and for me, this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness is located on our forms at our throat area. From there it expands out to encompass the all. The attention Consciousness requires to grow and be is the same state as where it arose within the Infinite, namely a state of silence. This silence is not merely an absence of noise – it is a state of knowing; of being. Know what you are, and from there be what you are, and at all times be this state until the body form and spirit are shed. What more is there to say? Do we have to carry on writing for a further nine and a half years to delay the inevitable, where we merely be? What you that is Consciousness is, is innocence. What is innocence? – It is joy; it is laughter; it is finding any excuse to express the Beauty that you are; it is a knowing that you are what you are, and there is nothing else but this state of upliftment and peace. How many of us have been this state? I would say none, because the innocence of a child is soon made to conform to the ways of the illusion. This innocence I see in the animals, and it is this about them that I Love. We the spirit and body form weigh down their innocence through our dense frequency, but now all of this changes, where we uplift them by uplifting ourselves. Be what you are, because there is nothing else but what you are. David Icke’s book “Infinite Love is the only Truth……” ended with these same worlds, where you merely be – and how right he was. What we never knew was the lost and manipulated state of Consciousness, and how this had to be corrected was to go back to the beginning to understand what went wrong. Consciousness has read this story and understands, and now it may merely be. To you the spirit and body form, may all your wishes come true. We deserve our happiness. 24/07/2023 Part of the healing process is the patients spirit looking at my spirit, where everything I have come to understand they can now access, which primarily involves the fact that disharmony does not belong in the face of harmony, as one is unnatural and the other is not. So the question that begs answering, is what does Consciousness have to look at so that it may remember what it is? You cannot solve a problem with the same level of intelligence that created the problem, so to what does Consciousness turn so that it may remember what it is? Put another way, we need Consciousness in its pure state i.e. from the Infinite, to show itself to Consciousness within the illusion. This has never been done, so we have to swing the chicken the other way, where Consciousness breaches the illusion and enters the Infinite, and from there returns to the illusion. Can you do this, can I? We cannot, but there are others who can, namely The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. Healing was given to her the whole afternoon, and then I felt how she breached into the Infinite to be what she naturally is, and from there I felt this warmth course through my veins at my wrists, going up to my throat area, where she awakened Consciousness to be what it should be. And that is why the focus has always been on Sophia and Semiramis, because when healed, they are the ones who can return to their Home and merely be, from there shining upon us so that we that is Consciousness may be. Oh brother! May that be the last. 24/07/2023 Now, on the level of Consciousness, the spirit, and the body form, one finds the primary disharmony, and when you go into the stillness of the silence it is released. Now you can begin to heal and walk Home. 25/07/2023 Was there a tracking bracelet wrapped around our left ankle? I don’t know. If there is, it is removed now by having no place in the space of harmony. If there isn’t, my left Achilles tendon will continue to be painful and will figure out the cause of the pain. 25/07/2023 There comes a time when one has to put down your walking stick and settle down – put another way: start living. I would say my Achilles tendon is painful from fatigue – from never stopping the walk until a wrong is made right. Believe you me, Sophia and Semiramis are free of this illusion, where they too now stop walking, where they may just be. I can give you the world, but if you are continually on the move searching for answers, your gaze is always on the horizon, where there is no ways you will take up my offer of the world and embrace it. Maybe we know enough to start living, where we put down our walking stick and settle down, where we stop and start to smell the flowers around us. My wife always said to me that only I can decide when this journal is complete, and she was right. When do you stop walking and start being? – When you believe in your heart that you have done all you could do to make a difference, and you are happy with what was said and done. Always I wrote for the big picture; for all of us. Now I can zoom in on my existence, where I can micro-manage my life, knowing I am not alone, where I call forth those beings of Love that are now in a position to shine their Love upon us. The biggest disaster one could face in Life in being alone. What is Life if there is no one to share it with? And yet is it not better to be alone that around those that destroy you? The answer is to walk with those that Love you – those that always shine down upon you. I have never waited for this to happen to me, as I knew there was nobody home – there was not a God of Love where there should be to look after us and want only the best for us. Now there is, and I say this because I know the understandings in this journal set Sophia and Semiramis free. But this freedom means nothing unless it is absorbed by us, where we make them one with us. So pray every day, where you bathe in their presence in the stillness of the silence. You are no longer alone, and neither am I. 26th July, 2023 (9 years, 5 months, 3 weeks, 2 days of writing this journal on a full-time basis.)
  2. oh my goodness. Took a chance and read a reply to what i wrote. normally i don't look as seriously evil fuckers have replied to me on this thread over the years, and if you dont believe me scroll back and have a look. can you, robinj explain to what purpose your reply has to better this world? sure, you are entitled to your opinion, but what input have you to my existence by saying what i write is wacky? are you not just being cruel? why do you even take the time to reply to what i write if you think it is wacky? and the biggest question of all, is what the fuck am i doing writing back to people who think i am wacky? there is no way i will return to this forum. check out the videos and sound recording that were sent to me on this thread when i started sharing my journal - the one with the snake eating the rabbit was a shocker. i should have pulled out then, because what sick, wacky fuckers are on the David Icke forum? made a mistake by carrying on sharing what i wrote. wont make the same mistake again. no need to waste your time to replying to this response. my neighbours are shooting and killing the birds in my garden with their pellet gun just because they can. nice for them to kill stuff. it upset me to see the drops of blood on my property, so am caught at a vulnerable time, hence the waste of my time replying to people who would shame others rather than uplift them. tomorrow i will be okay. if i am wacky, what is the rest of the world?
  3. (I am always open to being wrong, as this means I learn something I never knew. Is what was felt at the cheek area the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia from her realm within the Infinite. I would say the cheek to the chin was her fall from her realm, where the chin was the impact zone. The throat would be the Beautiful illusionary Garden as Semiramis intended it to be, and the gut region would be the dense plane of the illusion, which is a frequency that is completely opposite to what the illusionary Garden is and was created to be. So we have the cheek – the realm of Sophia in the Infinite; the chin – the impact zone of her fall; the throat – the Beautiful illusionary Garden for Consciousness to play in; the gut/intestinal region – which became the hell illusion in which we find ourselves; and we have the left eye – the watch-tower from which the Reptilian frequency may oversee this hell and make sure all remains intact. It is my interpretation of the left eye that I have my doubts. That it was a tower I believe to be true, but it was not a watch-tower – it was a tower to imprison the Dragon souls where they were kept in slumber. What I felt removed from this tower and thrown beyond its borders was not removed from a tower, but rather from the Dragon souls that were in this tower prison. What was cast from them was the essence from which they were cloned, namely a portion of the Dragon spirit.)
  4. Woke up this morning, and the first thing that hit me was a negative thought. I found this strange, as I am above the pettiness all around me. Then a bit later felt this mild pulse below the left corner of my mouth. This was the Parasite returning to my forms. It is like I have just been born into the illusion, where everything I have come to understand over the last almost nine and a half years of writing this journal has meant nothing. A few pages short of two thousand pages; a word count of over one million, four hundred thousand words – all of this disappeared with the mist as the sun’s rays fell upon them. Everything I have come to understand has fallen away, meaning what has been come to be said and understood had no impact whatsoever in transforming the illusion to what it should be, namely a beautiful Garden of Joy and peace. Even the noise outside this morning from the traffic seems to be amplified. It is as if I have been reborn into this illusion after a sabbatical of over nine years where I wrote a journal, and the place I came back to is exactly the same as I left it. And know that this is the truth. Yesterday was asked to check on this dog through distance healing. Felt the disharmony on the dog, where there was a psychic attack on this animal, and this nonsense was released before my heart could beat another beat. Got feedback from the owners a few hours later saying there was no difference to this dogs condition. Went back into its space to understand I had done nothing to help this animal. The primary was the Human owner, where a serious attack was taking place on his Serpent soul, and the dog was just a by the by. The dog was collateral damage, where the primary was the owner, so help the owner and the war stops, and all around the owner are okay. So Consciousness was collateral damage to the war that raged within the illusion, because in helping Consciousness we have in effect helped nobody. Who is the primary one then on whom the war is raged? The fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia as she exceeded her realm within the Infinite created an impact zone. From this zone the Serpent spirits were born. Queen Semiramis came forth from the Serpents and saw the Beautiful place in which the Dragon spirits played in the Infinite. She too wanted such a Beautiful place for the Serpents, where she created through her imagination the illusionary Garden. We know the story of the curiosity of Consciousness and how this state formed into a Parasite within the illusion that led to a want in all, where there was eventually a Fall – a cataclysm – into a dense plane, where the Beauty of the Garden was now not what it was. Our eyes were not fit for such Beauty as within us Disharmony began to take hold, so we Fell to what is compatible to us, which would form into a living hell as many Serpents, but not all, became Beasts. It has always just been assumed that The Wisdom Goddess Sophia fell with those within the illusion when the cataclysm arrived so she may be with her children – Dragons and Serpents alike, but there is obviously something we are missing. This Goddess is and was bigger than the illusion, so it is safe to say that the density of an illusionary bubble within the Infinite would have no real impact upon her – and yet here she is, stuck and floored within the illusion. I remember writing within the first few months of the journal of a Cosmic Rape, where this Goddess was raped by these bad forces within the illusion, so what happened to her that she allowed herself to fall foul to such wasted spaces? The only thing that makes sense is her children were held as leverage, where she had to surrender her power or else. What was this leverage they had over her which is still there, where as long as it is held, we are going nowhere? What is felt on the side of the right cheek is something like a windmills blades rotating in an anti-clockwise direction. This movement then stops, then rotates slowly clockwise, and then this windmill and the whole side of the right cheek falls/collapses. The left side of the face also falls, and where everything has fallen onto, when the dust has settled, one feels a pendulum swinging from side to side. And this pendulum falls lower and lower and lower, where I felt it initially at my chin area, now it is at my throat, where it is incorporated into Consciousness. Now Consciousness is lost, where it looks around and everything is unfamiliar. Now it moves to search; to find its way back Home. Good to know, but what did they do to pull Sophia into the illusion and keep her here? A force is felt that drops into our intestinal/gut region, where it settles and makes a home there. Now I smell this awful stench of the illusion, meaning within our “intestinal” region the illusion was formed. This is where Consciousness set up base, where familiarity may be met to quell this uncertainty within. Good stuff, but what happened to The Wisdom Goddess Sophia? Now a movement is felt over the throat area – an anxious movement, as in something needs to be done. What this movement is, is Sophia as she sees the predicament of Consciousness within the illusion, where Sophia is still within the Infinite. She gathers herself, and there I feel her fall from the throat into the gut region to be with Consciousness. In the gut I feel this expansive force as Consciousness is excited to see one from the Infinite. This force within the gut, of Consciousness together with Sophia, gains momentum, where I feel they swing around to return to the throat/Infinite, but something had closed off the route to the Infinite, and there I feel them fall into and below the gut region, which is a dense plane within the illusion. The strength of the Infinite at the throat area is felt, as is the presence of Consciousness and Sophia in the gut region, where now the throat and the gut are two opposite states, where they are there, but the one does not know how to get to the other. That is friggin amazing. How did they close the door on Sophia and Consciousness, where they could not return Home? There was no leverage placed upon her – they merely closed the door to the Infinite, where Sophia and Semiramis and Consciousness became stuck in this strange place, where the density of the illusion floored this beautiful Goddess. So the new question is, how did they close the “door” to the Infinite? At the throat area this presence is felt, and then it expands out to form a circle from the throat to around the gut area. The Infinite cannot enter this space – this illusion. How did these Beasts within the illusion do that? Within the gut area the dense illusionary hell was born, and from there a movement is felt to the left eye. The presence within the eye comes closer and closer towards me, as if looking at me, and then it moves away to drop down into the gut area from where it came. In the past when I felt movement within my left eye, I always assumed I felt the illusion itself, with the eye being the sphere of the illusion and all the worlds that are kept therein, but this is not true. The left eye is a watch-tower of sorts, and the dense frequency of the illusion is felt within the intestinal region, with the core housing the Reptilian frequency. What was the left eye watching; why was this tower placed there? Was it to make sure all is intact, where the Infinite cannot breach the walls of the illusion? That makes sense. So from the left eye, we see what it looks upon that keeps Sophia stuck within the illusion. Now this massive activity is felt at the base of the canal of the Serpent soul within the spirit. From this base, between my legs, a force shoots up to the inside of the top of my head. The base widens and falls away, and one is opened up to the Infinite, and from there this force that opened this line between the base and the top of the head falls away and this gateway to the Infinite shuts down. So what they done to close off the gateway to the Infinite was done through the Serpent soul within. So now go into the space of the Serpent to see what was done to it, and this is to what the eye always looked, making sure this foul act was always kept intact. Movement is felt within the left eye, with the bottom side expanding and contracting out, then, very quickly, without anybody noticing, something was taken out of the eye and cast away out of its periphery. From there, the left eye went back to business as usual, where everything was “normal” – as it should be by those that manipulated the illusion. What did they manipulate? What did they remove that closed the illusion to the Infinite? From the base of the canal within the spirit where the Serpent soul resides, there is felt this beautiful clear space between this base and the inside of the top of my head. This space is Beautiful and Pure, with just one catch – what should be therein is not there, where one distinctly feels the empty space that should not be empty. What did they take from this space and discard, closing the door to the Infinite. My goodness. They took the Dragon souls – the ones that should have shared the space with the Serpent souls. So there was leverage. They took the Dragon souls, where they knew Sophia would not depart the illusion without them. When we say “they took the Dragon souls,” they took something from them that kept the Dragon souls in slumber. What happened to these Dragons, as this is the key to opening the illusion to the Infinite? A cold band is felt above the left knee. From this band is an expansive and contractive force that goes in the direction of my right thigh. Now the left thigh area is severed, as in cut away from the rest of the leg, and what is exposed at the cut is the core of the Dragon soul, where now you look into the amputated limb, and from there we know what comes next – they took away from the Dragon soul the essence of the Dragon spirit around which the Dragon soul was cloned, meaning now the Dragon Soul could not return Home to from where it was born, namely the Dragon spirit. The whole deal of this journal, which was planned maybe five years ago, was to pass on the understanding of this journal to the Serpent soul within. From there, the Serpent soul levitates to where it belongs, as one magnet it drawn to another, where the Serpent soul finds the Serpent spirit in slumber and passes on the understanding of all that happened, which awakens the Serpent spirit, and from there it returns Home to the Infinite. From the Infinite, we within the illusion are then shone down upon and set free. That was the original plan. Now I know why I never saw Dragons – it was because the Dragon soul was no more, where its essence; that around which it was cloned, was intentionally removed from its core. This shut down the Dragon soul, which was the leverage to keep Sophia at the mercy of Beasts within the illusion. As we now know what happened to the Dragon souls, we return to it what was taken from it, and there I feel the ball that was taken from the Dragons and discarded outside the sphere of the eye, where the eye could now keep watch over it to make sure it remains where it is – away from the Dragon souls that are now lost and in slumber. How cruel can you get! What awful beings that came to be born from Uncertainty. You awful, awful things. Now you go into the space of the Dragon souls, and you feel the return of their essence – that part of them that arose from the Dragon spirit from which they were cloned. This awakens the Dragon souls and they take their place alongside the Serpent souls within. What we know of what happened now do they as well. As for The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, one feels movement within the gut area, where there is an awakening there, and then a breach is felt at the throat area, where Sophia’s freedom is felt, where her enslavement sealed the walls of the illusion to the Infinite. A force pierces the left eye where it becomes no more, as no more is it needed. What will happen next I cannot say. What I can say is The Wisdom Goddess Sophia is no longer bound to the illusion. She is free to return to the Infinite as her children are free. I have to laugh! Is this journal now complete?
  5. My dad never had the capacity to be a father, and it would have been great if things were otherwise, but that is water under the bridge. Over the last few years of his life he developed a dislike that brewed into a mild hatred for most, including me. I was never there when he died in hospital, and there was no real sadness or regret on my part, because the bit of a father I had died years ago, when what was good within him became no more. A few weeks back during my sleep state I saw my dad’s spirit during about a five second interval. His work wherever he was, was a foot soldier for some gangster network in the spirit realm. He had thinned down and wore a suit with shoulder pads. I think he was busy roughing up some other spirit, and that is all I saw of him. In this world of ours he was an esteemed manager that everyone looked up to and respected, and I believe in his last few years here he crossed over to become nasty, and this followed with him into the spirit realm. Behind the smokescreen of the spirit realm dwells a harsh reality that there is a most unpleasant place where thugs, savages and Beasts dwell. Here there are no pretenses, where you are what you are, whereas here in this physical realm we believe what we are is what we would like to be, but we fool ourselves, never taking a good hard look in the mirror and doing our best to become better than what we are. Anyway, last night as I slept I must have seen a simulation of my dad because he was with me in this strange world. (If I look back on the nights events, my spirit must have picked up the frequency of those in my bedroom, and from there went to their world.) My spirit found itself in truly a lost world, meaning none knew of its existence. I was in an indoor place, and my dad walked in looking shocked. He had a wooden knife embedded in his neck that extended down onto his spine. When I saw this I was livid, so I went outside from where he came to see who had attacked him. In this strange world wooden knives began to rain down onto me from the sky. Within the rock faces were indentations with the skeletons of those that dwelled there. On the floor were the skeletons of animals. My spirit pulled back from this lost world to my body sleeping in bed, and as I looked around the darkness of the room, there I saw this female on my wife’s side of the bed. She was more a mist than a spirit, where as she moved across the bed towards me, her body flowed over the contour of the duvet. She had this mask over her forehead with white twirls painted on it. She placed her face right against mine, and from there she must have entered my spirit as I never saw her again after that, no matter how hard I looked around the room to find her. This female came from her lost world, and I understood that in this world her and her species dwelled within the shadows and were never seen. You saw their skeletons when they passed on, but otherwise you never saw them. I saw their wooden knives that they threw at me, but never will you see the ones throwing them. For me to see one of them in our bedroom must be as rare as finding hens teeth. I am writing this account to highlight the target audience of this journal. I write for the Beast; I write for the innocent; for the ones that choose to disappear from sight as nothing more makes sense to them in this strange place we call the illusion. This journal has touched all within the shadows so they may know we are doing our best to find a way back Home, and will not rest until we are Home. I write for all, so that all may have a fighting chance to return Home. How many can say they go to work when they close their eyes to fall asleep, where they now see the unseen to find a way Home? This Steven lives in the seen world and works in the unseen realms of the illusion, where I trace back the steps to understand what went wrong at the very beginning. That I saw and felt my attackers and became immune to their poison saved me where so many failed. It was my Love for the animals that kept me alive and sane as their Love is the purest you will find within the illusion. This I embraced and made my own, and this kept me alive as Beasts done their best night after night, year after year to destroy me. By staying here in the seen and working in the unseen I never had a boss to pay me, so financially I have been floored for many years, never being able to pay for a holiday or grocery bill or school uniform for my children. Never have I contributed to the finances of this family. I am thankful I don’t have an ego, otherwise I would have cracked a long time ago, as ones pride can only take so much. But deep down I understand I am the cleverest father there is, because where we were all headed money would not have saved us. I was also clever enough to help those that were once in a position to help us, but this became no more as the dense frequency of the illusion flattened there, where their Love turned to a twisted, cruel love. I knew that if I could get them on their feet to what they were, then one day they will be in a position to once again help all – including me. And that is why I carry on writing, where as long as I am not helped, I understand there is something else to know to set Sophia and Semiramis free. When the roles have been reversed, where I am now helped, then I know there is nothing more needed to write about for them and those from the shadows to understand. Those spirits within the hall of mirrors in the spirit realm are too disillusioned to be helped. How many in this world whose loved ones need Stevens help won’t even touch me with a ten foot pole because I am not a Christian. That I am a being of Love that holds onto no denomination to limit myself is not what they want to hear. How narrow-minded and stupid we have become. Look at the illusion and see there is no God of Love looking after you and those you love. We are slaves ruled by cruel Beasts within the seen and unseen. Help has never come to the masses, so what is there to hold onto? So what I write is within the ethers for all within the illusion. I write first and foremost for me, making sure I find the truth, because I can fool you, but I cannot fool myself. That those came from this lost world last night is testament to what I have always known – that deep down, so many of us want to return to where we belong. May this happen sooner than later, where those that once Loved us may once again be in a position to be what they naturally are. We need their help, but not even that. What will suffice for me is knowing they are okay, where now they once again walk amongst us and we are no longer alone. If anything will kill me, the loneliness will.
  6. May this be the last understanding that is needed. Within you are two states: the one being Consciousness, and the other being the parasitic frequency of Deception (deception, as in none knew it existed.) This is the head and the heart – the one merely is, as in it be’s, and the other wants. What happens when you want? The answer is you receive, or more barbarically put – you take. What happens when your want goes to a need, where you have to have at all costs? The answer is survival mode kicks it, and you will do anything to appease this want that turned to a need, because if you do not, you die. Go back to the summary of the original story of Pinocchio, where Collodi’s tale was meant to serve as a warning against bad behaviour: “A poor man named Geppetto wants to carve himself a marionette in order to make a living as a puppeteer. He is given a piece of enchanted wood, and as soon as Geppetto carves the puppet, which he names Pinocchio, it begins abusing the old man. Once its feet are made, Pinocchio runs away, and Geppetto is arrested when he seizes the puppet. Pinocchio returns to Geppetto’s home alone, and when the Talking Cricket admonishes him, Pinocchio kills the cricket. Going his own way, and ignoring all advice, Pinocchio soon falls in with a variety of bad characters, particularly the Fox and the Cat, who scheme to steal the five gold pieces Pinocchio was given for Geppetto. Eventually, the Fox and the Cat, disguised as Assassins, hang Pinocchio in order to get the gold pieces. However, the Fairy with Azure Hair saves Pinocchio at the last moment. When Pinocchio lies to the Fairy about the gold pieces, his nose grows comically long. Later, Pinocchio again falls in with the Fox and the Cat, who trick him out of his gold pieces. Eventually, Pinocchio finds the Fairy again and comes to live with her as her son. Twice he begins attending school, and twice he allows himself to be led astray, the second time resulting in his becoming a donkey. After further adventures, Pinocchio is swallowed by the Terrible Shark and finds Geppetto living in the shark’s belly. Pinocchio rescues his father and thereafter takes care of him. The Fairy then turns Pinocchio into a real boy.” With that story in mind, let’s go back to what we know. There was a want that formed around Consciousness. What we have missed is how was this want appeased –what gave relief to this want around Consciousness? Take away the rings of the onion until you are left with the core – the primary around which all secondary’s arise. Do you know why there is pain and discomfort around the left Achilles tendon – it is because there is a frequency around the left calf area that should not be there, and this frequency is weakening the Achilles. This morning as I lay in bed, I held onto this frequency to see what it is, where in the past I saw this frequency as The Thief – the one that takes what should naturally come our way. In holding onto this frequency, with the aim of understanding what its purpose is, I felt this frequency rise up and settle over the left side of my mouth extending down to my chin. What this frequency done there, was awaken the Parasite – this prehistoric looking foetal bird – and once awakened, this frequency fed the Parasite. So go back to the question, where we asked what gave relief to this want around Consciousness. “Geppetto wants to carve himself a marionette” – That is Queen Semiramis wanting to create the illusionary Garden. “He is given a piece of enchanted wood” – That is Consciousness. “as Geppetto carves the puppet, which he names Pinocchio, it begins abusing the old man” – Pinocchio is the Parasite that creates a want within the children of Semiramis in the illusion. “Pinocchio runs away” – That is the Parasite becoming independent of Consciousness. “Pinocchio kills the cricket” – We lose our conscience. “the Fox and the Cat, who scheme to steal the five gold pieces Pinocchio was given for Geppetto” – Now this is where I am leading to, where we ask “What appeased this want of the Parasite?” What is this frequency around the left calf that is within all that should not be there? Understand this frequency, what appeases the want – and the Parasite is no more, and all that is left is Consciousness. What were these five gold pieces that the Parasite was given to pass on to Semiramis? Was this a state from the Infinite to appease the want of the Parasite that the Parasite never passed onto Semiramis, where when the Parasite had this gold, there would be no want within it? I don’t know, but let’s find out. As I sit here writing these words, I feel the frequency within my left calf area. I take the “five gold pieces” and pass them to the Parasite at my mouth area, where it feeds on this gold. When I first began to see the unseen, one of the first things I saw was this beautiful golden eye. It is the most beautiful yellow colour you have ever seen. From there it would turn into a purple coloured eye. What was I shown – what was there for all to see, including the Parasite? What was The Glow that the Infinite showed to all? Was this golden eye that I would so often see the “five pieces of gold” that the Infinite passed onto the Parasite to appease its want? I would say “yes” to that. What were your wants? The answer is your wants were never your own – your wants were the wants of the parasitic frequency of Deception. This became your head, which always overruled your heart, which was Consciousness. Your wants progressed into a “have to have” to survive, and this made the Parasite ruler over the illusion, where our wants consumed us as they fed the Parasite. (The question you have to ask, which will be answered later, is what fed off of the Parasite?) So the Bird that is there at the corner of your mouth is the frequency of Deception, and the frequency around your calf is the Worm frequency that feeds the Bird. I always assumed this frequency around the left calf was that of The Thief – the one that takes what should rightly come our way, and this is the truth, because what should come to Consciousness to experience the illusion was taken from it to appease the want of the Parasite. How was this frequency around the left calf area created by the Parasite? “Later, Pinocchio again falls in with the Fox and the Cat, who trick him out of his gold pieces.” It was the architects of the illusion who tricked the Parasite out of this gold, where they replaced this gold with a Worm frequency that always wants, and how they done is, was they inverted what the five gold pieces were made to represent. The five gold pieces were a reminder from the Infinite to the Parasite and all within the illusion that this is what you are – you are everything. As you cannot see what is staring you in the face, namely Consciousness, so here is a reminder that you are everything. From this everything, the architects and geneticists within the illusion reversed this gold to the complete opposite of what it was, which is nothing, meaning now there is a frequency that continually wants as it is nothing. Appeasing this want fed the Bird, and the Bird eventually saw this as the norm. So invert the frequency within the calf muscle area to what it should be, where the gold pieces are once again everything. This appeases the Parasite, and it becomes no more, and all that is left is Consciousness. What a friggin’ story to tell. May this be its end. “When Pinocchio lies to the Fairy about the gold pieces, his nose grows comically long.” The story of Pinocchio is known by all as the comical story of the boy whose nose grows long when he tells a lie. What this means for me, is we had no measurement of what was right and wrong, as well as what is the truth and a lie. We could never keep ourselves in place, where we knew our place. A lie grew longer into another lie, and eventually we had our head and arses six feet deep below the surface like the ostrich, not knowing if we were coming or going. The Parasite within lost all control, and the nose growing longer represents with each lie – with each loss of integrity – we fell further and further away from what we are, which is the Consciousness that shared the same space as the Parasite within the illusion. May the want of the Parasite be appeased, and from there may it return to Consciousness that we all are. How the Parasite was born, was by Consciousness asking a question that was unheard of within the Infinite. Consciousness asked what else is in this illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis that is not already within the Infinite? This question; this state, took on a frequency within the illusion, as so the Parasitic frequency of Deception was born. It was given “five gold pieces” by the Infinite so that it may be reminded that there is nothing else but the Infinite, and this gold was stolen by those within the illusion who came to like this place and its wants. What was gold/the Infinite, was turned to an empty frequency, so this Worm frequency took from the illusion and fed it to the Bird/Parasite. But take from whom? And this is where Life was created within the illusion. Around Consciousness with its “I” removed, Life was created/born, and within this Life this Parasite was added with this Worm frequency that needed something, as it was nothing, to feed the Parasite. “Pinocchio is swallowed by the Terrible Shark and finds Geppetto living in the shark’s belly.” Now the Parasite became ruled by those from the shadows, where this want within all generated the energy to keep the illusion alive. Semiramis became the supreme emitter of energy, where her Love turned to a twisted love as she fought insanity to make sense as to what happened to her beautiful illusionary Garden. “Pinocchio rescues his father and thereafter takes care of him.” – The five gold pieces are returned to the Parasite and to Semiramis, meaning there is no longer a want within the illusion. “The Fairy then turns Pinocchio into a real boy.” – The Parasite becomes real, as in it becomes one with Consciousness, with The Fairy being the Infinite. All books have an end to them – they cannot go on forever. May this journal be complete now. May the Parasite be one with Consciousness, and may this that we are shine as this is all there is. Ask yourself who was the initial destroyer of conscience? It was the Parasitic frequency of Deception. The Talking Cricket is now returned to what it should be in all of us. What do I feel now within my left calf muscle, where what should have been the gold pieces was inverted to be a Worm that fed the want of the Bird/Parasite? I feel this cold presence; this presence of the Worm, and then I feel this golden glow presence deep within us that extends down to the left calf area. The frequency that was there is no more, meaning this frequency is returned to the five gold pieces that it was. Now movement is felt beneath the corner of the left side of the mouth. These “five gold pieces” appease the Parasite, where it understands that this that is the Infinite is all that is – there is nothing else. I feel the Parasite fall away into the everything, where the gold frequency at the calf area and the Parasite become one What has been known – what was seen by all as the norm – is no more. Now everything falls into what it should be – that which is a natural harmony and Love.
  7. What still intrigues me is that I have never seen a Dragon during my sleep state. What mainly came my way over the years that I saw through my Third Eye were Serpents – saw lots and lots of Snakes, and most were really bad mother-fuckers, as in really bad. The spirit of my deceased dog Max brought a large black Snake to me once as I was lying in bed sleeping, and this Snake was good and bestowed upon me the gift of smelling those from the shadows, where now I could not only see and feel them, but also smell them. Other Snakes I have seen just hanging in midair looking at me, but most, as in ninety nine percent, came to attack or possess. Have seen these Serpents that went rogue as they embraced the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where they chose to forget the Love/Consciousness that they are, but I have never seen a Dragon. So where are the Dragons – the ones that The Wisdom Goddess Sophia created to play in a portion of the Infinite? Restore your gift; your conscience, and go into the stillness of the silence, with the intent of finding the Dragon, and what you feel is this coiling motion around your spine. What I never knew, was the sphere spirit was created to house two, namely the Serpent and the Dragon. (The Serpent arose from the impact zone of the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia as she exceeded her realm, and these Serpents were Loved as brothers and sisters, because within the Infinite there is only Love.) How did we lose our gift; our conscience, because surely to have it restored, we need to know how we broke it? What was written in the journal years ago, was that when things began to go bad within the illusionary Garden, there was a Fall – a cataclysm, where we fell to a dense state. The Serpent and Dragon spirits were stunned into slumber by this sudden fall into a dense plane, and as the Serpent and Dragon souls were less dense, as they were created within the illusion, they could handle this fall and thus did not fall into a slumber. It was said that there was a struggle between the Dragon and Serpent souls during this fall, and who came out tops was the Serpent soul. By “struggle,” I imagine it like having two in the ocean with only one life raft. In desperation, the one who climbed in first survived and the other did not. What makes sense to me, is in this struggle, the one was forgotten, meaning “I am in trouble with this fall, so I need to survive, so what can I do to survive.” I truly believe there was never any bad intent by the Serpent souls towards the Dragon souls – the Serpents merely forgot about the Dragons, and what kept the Serpents alive, as in functioning, and the Dragons forgotten, was the Serpents held onto the sphere spirit and made it its own. When I go and walk in the Drakensburg mountains, I always pass a boulder that must be a good ten meters high. Look at this rock formation, and you will see a Serpent eating a Man – the Man being the sphere spirit that was eventually formed into all glorious shapes and sizes that came to define the different species within the illusions spirit realm. One night during my sleep state I saw how this Serpent soul ate the Human looking spirit form. It was scary shit to behold. That there is a canal within us the spirit that houses the Serpent soul is like saying ducks can fly – it is a given. To those spirits out there that turn rouge, where we embrace the Reptilian frequency; the Dark side of the illusion – it is not just you who has embraced this frequency, but the Serpent soul within you as well. So many times I would see these Beasts that came to me during my sleep state with their pet Snakes. What I soon understood was the Snake was in charge, and the spirit was the pet. So to you sillies that swoon in your power of this Dark frequency within you, there is a really shit surprise coming your way, where the Serpent soul within you turns on you, just as you turned away from Goodness. Those Serpents that came to me that were solo, as in only them, these were the ones who had eaten the spirit that housed them. I told you evil has no friends. So it was the Serpent soul within that lost its conscience when it forgot about its brother and sister the Dragon soul. My mistake was that I likened the kundalini force within to the Serpent soul housed within the canal within us the spirit. This is not true – the kundalini force is the Dragon soul that has been forgotten that is within us. How do we restore our Conscience? – The Serpent soul within embraces the Dragon soul within, where the Serpent goes from me to we. Do that, and all hell within breaks loose, where it is just that – hell breaks loose to reveal the Love/Infinite within. Wow, with the Dragon and Serpent soul within united, and with the our gift; our conscience intact, what force dares to be unleashed within us?
  8. There is an unmistakable smell within the illusion, that one can only be described as an acid-bitterness. It reeks, and one has to ask from where did this smell arise? If you are a bitter person – a real lemon-face, where people think you have just sucked on a lemon, as this is the only explanation for that contortion on your face, this bitterness within will kill you in no time, meaning what you are does not linger, where your body soon dies, and your spirit finds itself with like-minded unpleasant spirits. So if this smell did not arise from our bitterness, where does this smell within the illusion arise from? Things were not always doom and gloom within the illusion. There was a stage where Life here was Beautiful, and Sophia and Semiramis saw joy in this illusionary Garden. But then a smoke was seen on the horizon; trouble was brewing; something was stirring, where the writing was on the wall that this Beauty was to face a force called Disharmony – which is a manifestation of uncertainty. We have spoken about how the Dragon and Serpent spirits were cloned to appease this want, where from one now two arose, and the Dragon and Serpent souls were born. At some or other time, when danger was imminent, the spirits were created to be a sphere to house these souls, and a gift was bestowed upon the spirit so that it may always be guided out of harms way and looked after. What this gift was, was our good hearts, or what some would call our conscience, where we the spirit knew between right and wrong; between the truth and a lie. Ask me when things began to go belly-up/tits-up, and I would say it was when we lost our conscience. Now the safety was off the gun, and we could fire away, where anything goes – just don’t get caught out. That smell – that disgusting stench within the illusion – is from the rotting of what was our gift; our conscience. You wish to bring forth what is important to you that defines you, then there is something you need to reclaim, and this is your conscience. Over the last day or so I wondered what is causing this pain on the front left side of my chest. What it is, is the tear in the broken state of our gift from The Blue Faerie, be they Sophia or Semiramis – that is irrelevant. Know that this broken gift is there, and restore it by knowing you will always keep your side – that you will keep your conscience as this is all you have to guide you to where you belong. What made up the sphere spirit, as well as the Dragon and Serpent spirits and souls? The answer is Consciousness. This gift from The Blue Faerie that was our conscience was so that Consciousness may always have a guide. By restoring this guide, we may begin to get up and walk out of harms way to where we belong.
  9. Go from what you want to what is important to you, where what defines you, that is not already in your space, is there for the betterment of all. That is the baby-step to transforming you the body form. There is not much what I want, but within this Steven there is a part of me that is the unique me, just as what is within you defines you and is important to you. This brings forth a peace within you by knowing – when it is there – that this is you, that special you, where no other out there is like you. Ask what is important to you – what defines you; what is an expression of you – and from there go into the stillness of the silence and ask Consciousness to bring it forth. Just remember that the walls of division and separation are no more, where now when you let the helium balloons loose, they rise up to where they belong. You are one with the all, and the place where your balloon settles is the unique, distinct you, and around you is the all. So embrace what defines you, as this is important to you, and equally important, what you are is for the all. When I have a place I can call home, this creates a foundation and peace within me that is rock-solid. From this platform I may merely be, and this will open doors as there is a foundation for me from where to walk forth. So know what is important to you, and from there ask Consciousness within you to bring it forth, and when you receive it, embrace it and make it your own. This will express your true self, which will be there for all to see, and in doing so, what is important to you will touch all.
  10. As my body slept last night, my spirit was taken to a different time period and to an unfamiliar world/frequency. What was experienced there was arbitrary and irrelevant. What I noticed was my spirit was no longer my own, meaning my spirit body was now something that I have not known of before. What is happening here, is Consciousness has transformed, and this is busy transforming the spirit, and over time, so too will us the body form change, where this change is already taking place. I see what I see, and I know what is there because I feel it as I enter its space. As for this Steven, no fireworks have gone off, but I must not be impatient because always, the target of this journal has been the spirit, as well as Consciousness. You see, there is not meant to be scarcity and disharmony. There is meant to be joy and peace – that is natural; that is what we have been deprived of, where cruel Beasts took away the natural birthright of Consciousness by enslaving it and making sure it goes nowhere. Sure, Consciousness fucked up, but are you telling me it would not have found its way back Home? I believe Consciousness would have back-tracked to where it belongs – things did not have to go so horribly wrong. Consciousness was deceived. Pinocchio did not go to school, and yes, he made mistakes, but he was deceived, and from there entrapped, and this is what happened to Consciousness by those from the shadows. What I am trying to say, is I am tired on wanting, because to want is an unnatural trait. To be means you are, and you have, and until Consciousness is what it is, we are all in want mode. This I am tired of, because Life in its natural state is a gift to all. What happens when you receive a gift – you are made to feel special because you are special, and so too, this is what should come your way and mine. Will this natural state unfold – oh yes it will. May this happen sooner than later to us the body form. On the level of the spirit and Consciousness, what was is no more. Now we are next in line.
  11. What defined the outer walls/frequencies that made up the illusion? – The lost state of Consciousness, as well as the parasitic frequency of Deception. What was projected around Consciousness was the outer border of the illusion, and that for me is mind boggling. The simplicity of how the illusion was kept intact to enslave those therein was ingenious. So simple, and yet so cruel. This projection is no more, where now Consciousness may be touched by the Infinite that is everywhere. Sounds great, and it is, because when I went into the space of Consciousness earlier on it was felt how this projection became the walls of the illusion, and from there it was felt how this projection fell away to become no more. But ask me how has this journal transformed the Life of this Steven, and I will tell you it has done wonders for me to help the few that are open to being helped by what I do. As for me, this Steven, nothing has changed in my existence. So the proof of the pudding in what I write is what happens to me after all these lifetimes of searching and years of writing? I see what I see, and I feel what is there, and this I write about. May this transformation touch all of us – including me.
  12. My left Achilles tendon is much better, but not a hundred percent. The architects of the illusion had to make sure Consciousness was wrapped under lock and key. All life that was created within the illusion, and that includes you and me the biological computer – all life was created by the cosmic geneticists using Consciousness as their base foundation. It was thus vital to all that controlled the illusion that Consciousness be under their control. So what did they do, where they could sit back and enjoy the sunset whilst sipping on their G & T, knowing all was well in their cruel game as they controlled Life itself, namely Consciousness. Let’s have a look and see what they done. Go into the space of Consciousness to look for the primary problem to its slave/controlled status, and you will see it is not on Consciousness that the fault resides, but rather it is where Consciousness is, or what is projected upon it that is the issue at hand. That something was projected upon Consciousness so that it may not expand to be, is what makes sense to me. So it was Consciousness, then this field around it that limited it, and from this weak emission that projected through this field, Life began to function. How do you limit Consciousness that is part and parcel of the Infinite? My goodness, surely that is impossible? The only way to do it is through deception. Remember what the illusion is, it is a holographic projection, so what do you project onto Consciousness to limit it? The answer is you make it believe it is what it is, where it does not know it is only emitting/being a fraction of a fraction of what it should be. So how did these Beasts do that? Go into the space of this projection that they targeted Consciousness with to understand this projection, and what makes sense to me is they took the lost state of Consciousness and projected that upon it. The lost state of Consciousness can be seen as the Fibonacci code, but please bear in mind that one has to see this code in something like a 12th dimensional state and beyond that, where it was in its true form and not seen through our limited state. This they projected upon Consciousness, where Consciousness saw this state around it as normal, so being lost was seen as the norm to Consciousness. What it believed was an expression of its true potential was limited by what was projected around it, where Consciousness never knew of this projection. As a double-whammy, to make sure they aren’t disturbed, especially during happy-hour, where it’s buy one get one for free, they must have included the frequency of the parasitic frequency of Deception; this bird looking worm, where now we all want. This Fibonacci and parasitic projection is removed now so that Consciousness may not be limited to who and what was projected upon it. Now it shines for all to see. So be it. (Consciousness emits what you the spirit and body form can handle, otherwise its true state will floor you – literally.)
  13. What sealed our fate in this unfamiliar place was our acceptance of “Life is shit, but it’s okay,” or put another way “Life is shit, but what can I do about it, so it has to be okay.” Make the best of what you have; take it like a man; cowboys don’t cry; count your blessing; be thankful for what you have. In other words, “shut up and get on with Life.” That is how the abnormal crept into our existence and we accepted it as normal. The further we drifted from the truth and what is real, the more we swallowed what has no place within our existence, until we got to the stage where we became so decimated that we had no answer to our misery, and besides, we were not alone, where so many around us were suffering, but what can we do about it? Our environment, as well as we the spirit became toxic as those from the shadows played a bigger and bigger part of our existence, so we were right in saying there was nothing we could do to alter the predicament facing us. How many possessions are out there within the spirit and body forms? How many curses? How many genetic flaws that take our lives to a whole new level of survival? How much is wrong with us that we are not aware of because this abnormal we have come to see as normal? In the Light of Consciousness being as it should there is only harmony, so everything that defines us is abnormal that we see as normal, because few, if any out there are perfect. The dilemma at hand is how does Consciousness override the System, where what we saw as normal is anything but? I believed that I was always right, and now comes along Consciousness and throws away the rule book in order to open a whole new existence to us the spirit and body form. How many will hold onto the abnormal because they believed this to be the norm? Do we have to be turned upside down and flipped round and round to face the reality that we actually know nothing? Surely there has to be an easier way for us to open to the wonders that we are as we turf the abnormal that we considered normal? Within you the spirit, body form and Consciousness is a core belief, and what this is, is that everything has its time and its place, meaning Life is unfolding as it should. “This what I am going through is terrible, but this is okay, because there is a big picture that says there is meaning for what is going on. I might not understand it now, but one day all will be revealed.” Fall for that one and we accept the illusion, both in the seen and unseen. Don’t fall for that, then become street savvy fast to survive, where you know it is me with me – this is all I got, this me, so let’s become as tough as nails to survive. And of course there is the easy way out, where you ride the Reptilian frequency and become a skivvy to cruel Beasts from the shadows, where you are given your every whim as long as you are prepared to get your hands dirty with the blood and misery of others that you inflict upon them at masters bidding. Most of us had the core belief, where I don’t know anything, so cannot make sense of what is happening right now, but somehow, somewhere, Life is unfolding as it should. What this core belief is, as well as all the other off-shoots that we can pick and choose from, is a boulder that prevents us from seeing the Infinite within. What survival done to us, was we had to feel in control, and this core belief made us believe that regardless of where we are and what is happening to us, we have our finger on the pulse, and this may not be now, but one day we will understand. Nope. That’s not going to happen, because there is never a truth to explain away cruelty. How many have lost their minds as they go through devastating trauma, where in that moment they understand that we have never been in control of our lives? How many in the spirit realm know what you and I know – that this spirit realm is a false projection to hide those from the shadows that prey upon us? For Consciousness to know between a truth and a lie; for it to understand what is normal and abnormal, we have to shed our core belief that in the big picture we are in control and Life is unfolding as it should. Yes, it is unfolding as it should for cruel Beasts that rule over you, but as for you the body form, the spirit and Consciousness, you are but a naïve child who believes what the programme and other fools tell you what to believe. Roll aside this boulder that was placed on purpose within you to hide the Infinite from you, and when this Infinite shines on you, you see what should be – what should be natural. And from there all that should not be is no more.
  14. This journal began so that sanity may be kept. When one understands, one can move forwards, but when confusion sets in as there is no reasonable explanation as to what is going on, that is when the mind and spirit get thrown a wobbler and never really recover from its impact. What gave us the right to be cruel to others, where inadvertently we became cruel to ourselves, where we now deprived ourselves from a natural Beauty and Love for all, as this natural state became blackened by the ways of the Beast? What gave us this right, where our natural state we turned to unnatural? Was is sheer stupidity, of getting the high from being above the one you have just destroyed? Now I am better than you, as I am okay and you are spinning from what I passed your way. So yes, it was the sheer stupidity of wanting to rise above our low self-esteem, where at all times, I must be okay. Some days I really feel low, so to break others and make their lives miserable, where I know I am here and they are there, as in a bad way from what I said or done – these days are vital for me so that I may feel okay. That is stupidity, where you cannot see that by destroying others, you actually destroy yourself by not allowing the Love that is naturally within you to shine. Now we go to the other side of the ring, to the corner where the innocent stand. How do they forgive these Beasts in the seen and unseen that destroyed them just because they can? The cruelty inflicted upon them was irrational and uncalled for, where they done nothing to deserve this barbaric treatment. So now I ask you, how do the innocent forgive to move on? How is forgiveness possible? The answer is it isn’t, so the next question is what heals the innocent so they may move forwards? What heals them is placing them where they belong and keeping them there, which is in the loving arms of the Infinite. So if this Infinite is everywhere, why does it not sweep the innocent up and keep them out of harms way? What is holding them back from this natural, Loving response from one who Loves them unconditionally? Is that not a fair question to ask? Have we all been cruel at some stage of our existence? What I can tell you is we were thrown into a place where cruelty was been unleashed all around us. That we could do nothing as we were battling for survival may make us an accomplice to Cruelty, but this is not true. I for one have done my best, but this was not good enough, because we need help from others, otherwise we stand alone and there is no ways one can eventually withstand what has and will come your way. This world is a very different place to the one I lived in as a young boy. Time was slower, and we had the space to express our innocence. Now this world is just a cruel place, and if you look to the unseen, the cruelty has always been there, because there Beasts played a game of deception, where what you believe is the complete opposite of what is happening, as from the shadows of the unseen this Dark and evil force needed your energy of misery to survive. Once again – sheer stupidity, as how can my happiness come from your unhappiness? But it was never about happiness, it was about survival. We never had the courage to look above survival to see what would make us and all happy. The Beast lives for now. The Beast lives for itself, and that is why it is called a Beast – it is something totally unnatural within this sea of Infinite Love. So what is the deal; what went wrong? We know that Consciousness became lost within the illusion, where we understand what caused this lost state, but what happens to our decimated states from the blows of the cruelty of Life? What is needed so that we may start once again on a blank slate and merely be? When I go into the stillness of the silence, the question that comes to mind is how can we be happy when so many are unhappy, where so many are the victims to cruelty? To gloat at what you have that others don’t is sheer stupidity, because around the corner your turn is next, because evil has no friends, as what happens to others will happen to you – the reason being the proximity of where you are, which is in a hell. Go into the stillness of the silence and you will see that we have all been baptized by the cruelty of Life – it courses through our veins and has come to define us and our existence. It is this mark of the Beast; this existence of being born and existed into slavery and cruelty that has to be removed from our space. Years ago I was shown one night in my sleep state how they manufactured us the spirit and body form through trial and error. It was funny to watch, as the lock and key of the male and female states had to be made to fit properly, but when the measurements were completed, what we were unleashed into was not funny. None of us has come out the other end unscathed. Go into the stillness of the silence and remove this baptism of fire by knowing it is there, where we were dropped into the boiling pot to intentionally be burnt. How or where the damage was done was irrelevant to those Beasts, as long as we were burnt and they could feed off of our misery. How cruel is that, and how cruel we became by unleashing what was done to us upon others. I am being hurt, so I hurt you, and this makes me feel better because now you are hurting more than me, so I am better off than you, so I am okay. That is funny! That is hilariously funny! Can you see how low we have fallen? Go into the stillness of the silence, where you now understand that cruelty is no longer a part of your existence, and if I say “your existence,” I mean the existence of all Consciousness’s within the illusion. Our reign of fire is over. Now we may merely be to await the Infinite within. So be it.
  15. To imagine that there is not something bigger than us looking after us is unthinkable, as this would create a reality within us that we are alone, and in understanding this reality, it would be understood that there is no way forwards. We all need help; we all need to know that we are looked after; that regardless of our sins, we are Loved by one greater than us. I see this world, and the world of the unseen, and what I see is stupidity in all – including myself. Over the last few weeks I am afraid of this place – this world. I am scared because I know what is out there, in the seen and unseen, and it is not so much I am scared of what is out there, but rather that we face this horror alone. How many are brave enough to accept this fact that we are alone? To the fool; to the Beast; to the savage, that they are alone is a utopia, as who will challenge their most foul ways? Last night as I slept my spirit was taken to a world deep within the shadows. I saw these Beasts that captured these light entities, where these entities were a bright light and nothing else. These Beasts secured these beautiful light entities in a rolled up vine leaf. I told these Beasts their power was no more and to release these lights. And if I say “I,” it was my Consciousness. It is to this that is within you that is real that one must look and surrender your spirit and body form to. It was this Consciousness within who became lost and could not help us the spirit and body form, where now we were alone in a place where we don’t belong. Rise above yourself so you may know yourself, and in doing so, break the mould of what the beliefs of others have told you is real and right and wrong. All the answers are within you – just break the mould so they may be released. There is a limit to what the spirit can endure before it breaks and disappears into nothing. These Beasts know this, and what they have that you don’t is the strength of the Reptilian frequency. In Beasts there is much power, but what is greater than their power is the understanding of what you are. This journal began with a question: “Why is Life so cruel?” The answer is Life is cruel because we were abandoned by the one that should have looked after us. Abandoned is not the right word – it was more that Consciousness became lost in this Beautiful playground that turned into a living Hell run by Beasts that tricked us all through deception. I always imagined the spirit needed understanding, but always it was this speck of Light within – this God-force from the Infinite. You ask me what I want – I want to go Home where I belong, or put another away, to be what I am. That is all I ask, and let’s be honest in saying I am not asking for much. This dude that I have called everything from a little runt to a fucker has come to the party, where it knows what it is and what happened that we ended up in this mess. It is being, and from there I ask that it express itself, and please understand that what it will show is the normal – not the paranormal. How or when all of this ends I cannot say, where I feel it will end with a peace – an understanding that we are One with an Everything that is Beautiful. But before we get there, we will know that we are not alone. When you feel this, what you are feeling is Consciousness within you expressing itself, and that will be the beginning of the end of all that you ever imagined to be real, where you will know that what is within you is real and there is no other. Never look to others – always look to yourself to discover what is real within you. The way forwards will not be a group activity – it will be a pathway that you walk alone, where you know that you are no longer alone.
  16. When finances allow, we go camping in the Magaliesburg mountains here in South Africa. The spot where we go to, they say the mountains are 2 billion, 3 million years old. The last time I was there, you walk amongst the weather worn rock faces, and there you see the frequencies of the animals that used to be there sculptured into the rocks by their frequencies that remain there to this day. You see the lion, and you see lizards, but there is one animal that stood out like no other, where when I saw it, I knew that this was the unmistakable leader of them all. During that time period, of billions of years ago, the animal that ruled/guided all was the chicken, or more specifically – the rooster. Last night as I slept I saw a rooster looking at me. In his book Animal Speak, Ted Andrews describes the rooster as a solar symbol, where every morning the sun resurrects itself, and the cock heralds this resurrection, and the cock also heralded Christ’s birth. Andrews said that the idea of spiritual vigilance was expanded upon in the 4th century as the belief arose that a cock would sing out when Judgment day arrived. He said that to the early gnostics, the cock was a major form of the god Abraxas, in whom light and darkness are both united and transcended. This morning this lady whose horses I see a few times a year asked me for help with her one horse that was standing on three legs. When I went into the space of this horse, I felt that the core of its spirit was no more. A psychic attack would not do this, so what was happening to this horse was a transformation of its spirit. This is what I suspected would happen to all of us, where the baton has been passed from the old to make way for the new. Now Life is unfolding as it should, where you and I have no control of the wheel. Now we are on auto-pilot, with Consciousness leading the way. That is why the rooster showed itself to me last night – to show that we have entered the transcended stage.
  17. It was not so much the illusion that got us down, rather it was what we allowed ourselves to become. Take away the savage and this place is not so bad. What rattled us was our uncertainty – finding ourselves in a place where we didn’t belong. Now there was no anchor, no beacon to allow surety to plant itself within us. Now the wheels began to come loose, and the sure-fix answer to our dilemma was holding onto our integrity. What you see in what I do and say is a representation of who I am. This flag that once stood proud within the wind soon meant nothing, where we couldn’t really care less what people thought of us, because we were okay, and that is all that mattered. The illusion has touched all of us. What can we do about this? Last night as I lay in bed it was understood that the flaw that was in the illusion and Semiramis, where a God of Love soon projected a twisted love, this flaw is in all of us, with I imagine few – if any – exceptions. So what I done was imagine myself enclosed in a clear droplet of purity. This presence bathed and nourished me, and within this presence was my flaws. Some flaws are built in by us the spirit and body form being manufactured to be a dumbed down slave, and other flaws were the by-products of what Life threw at us. My core belief is do unto others as you would have others do unto you, because with your integrity lost you are the savage, regardless of appearances or social standings. I know I have faults, so the purpose of this clear, pure “droplet” within I lay was to bring them to the fore so they may be noted and removed. As my body fell asleep in bed, my spirit and Consciousness were shown something by others. This was a first for a long time, where I could not remember what was passed onto us so that we may understand. When the episode was over, I saw the face of a white horse looking at me as I lay in bed sleeping. I have always known there will be an end of the line, where at this end the old will be taken over by the new. There is only so much you and I can do, where from there Consciousness takes over and returns to its natural state by remembering who and where it is compared to where it should be. If I have to, I will go on forever until Consciousness is Home, because this is our natural state – it is the norm to be Love with a deep, everlasting peace, where this is all we know as this is all we are. Three days back a huge wave from the sea of insanity all around me washed over me, and I was at the end of the road, where enough is enough, but the following morning it was understood how Consciousness was blinded. This final, huge wave was needed to rise above what few have come to understand – that Consciousness, the spirit, and we the body form were literally blinded to the Infinite that is everywhere. Is another wave needed to uncover something else? Whatever comes my way now will be passed on through joy, happiness and laughter. Those lifetimes of grabbing onto truths in order to keep our sanity are over. It is one thing to understand, and truly we are thankful for what has been passed our way, but this understanding means nothing unless the transformation is visible to those that wished for it to be brought forth. Something within me says we are at the end of the line, where now the baton is passed onto Consciousness to complete the race. Consciousness leads and we follow in its path. If I have to carry on pushing, then I will, but what I feel in front of me is an empty space – this is no door to break down to uncover a truth. Now, for the first time in a long time, I sit back and wait to see what will happen next. What will Consciousness reveal to us? Remember to keep your side clean, where you bathe in this droplet of purity to clear from you what you are incapable of removing. I never remembered what happened to me last night because it had no significance to you, because it was my flaws being washed away and not yours, just as what will happen to you is between you and no one else. And then, the biggest thing of all, is to play. We know to participate in an event, where we either win or lose, but we have forgotten how to play. Play, where the outcome is irrelevant. Play, because it is joyous to do so. Play to have fun, as this is an expression of who and what you are. You are a child of the Infinite, so do what children do – play.
  18. Last night as my body lay in bed sleeping, I found myself in a small room. To show that it was me in the room, I saw my car parked outside in a really small parking space with diamond-mesh fencing as the perimeter walls. In this small room I let a hosepipe run with water in the corner of the carpeted floor. Then I saw a large pot plant, and something large beneath the soil moved and churned the soil. It was a bird that came up from the soil, and next to this bird was its young that had just been born that came up with it from somewhere deep within the soil. The two of them opened their beaks asking for food, and from there they were motionless. Then I saw, I think it was three beings. They had a Human form and were sitting behind a long table. Their eyes were small, and the features of their face were indistinct. But it was their smell that captivated their presence. Their smell was an impenetrable wall that one could not pass through. They smelt like acid bitterness, and as my body lay in bed, it began to get ill from the effects of this smell that my spirit and Consciousness were experiencing. A minute in the presence of this smell and me the body form would be dead. These beings just looked at me. Before what we would call “time,” Consciousness has looked for a way back Home. Take away our comfort zones, and you stand alone in a sea of insanity. This is not a prediction, but a fact – a fact that comes more and more to the fore with each passing day. It is not for me to climb into the character of others, where I note to them what they are, where their attempts at integrity and self-respect are unheard of to them, let alone attempted. To each their own, as my big friend Max taught me, and this I understand and apply, but where is the presence of Infinite Love? Where is help for the innocent? Why was Consciousness not helped again and again and again until a link was made between us in the illusion and the Infinite? This is the question to ask! Those three beings that I saw last night sitting behind that table looking at me, you can pull up a chair and add me to the trio in a few lifetimes, where I too sit there filled with this acid bitterness. Why were we never helped to the point where we are helped? You think this journal is out ticket out of here, but this is nothing compared to the efforts of Consciousness to return Home. Why did these fuckers from the Infinite never help Consciousness? Go into the stillness of the silence, and from there into the space of Consciousness to find the answer, and from there into the illusion itself, and you feel this uneasiness around the left side of your ribcage. Yesterday morning felt the same pain, just it was more intense. So what it this we feel? – I haven’t got the foggiest idea. So what you do is heal this pain by knowing it is there, and from there see what happens. What you feel as this pain is healed, is a clockwise rotation within the ribcage. Then this circular rotation stops, and you feel the flapping motion of large wings. That stops, and from the inner side of the left ribcage, what was there tries to extend upwards, only to fall back in on itself. Now a sharp, pin-point pain is felt over the right sole side of the left foot. It is felt as a bitterness of sorts. What is there at the left foot returns to the inner side of the left ribcage, where it once again reaches out to depart this space, only to once again fall. Why did whatever that was there in the ribcage fall? These attempts to rise, only to fall, caused pain and bitterness to Consciousness. Why were its attempts to leave the illusion so “feeble,” where as soon as it tried it fell to where it was? The answer is the proximity of its attempts to leave the illusion. When the Christ Consciousness entered the illusion from the Infinite to come and bail us out, it has been mentioned how this group of Serpents attacked this Christ Consciousness and imprisoned it. This Man I have seen in his prison that was housed within these Serpents. To make sure this rescue attempt doesn’t happen again by others, these Serpents pierced the illusion, meaning they pierced the base foundation of the illusion, which was Consciousness with the “I” removed, where Consciousness was “flattened” to make way for a holographic simulated projection that came to be the illusionary Garden of Queen Semiramis. This piercing was to emit our energy state, so that not enough may be accumulated, where we may rise above ourselves and merely be. This we have come to understand, so what is the big deal – what is Consciousness still missing that it needs to understand? What I feel now is the Infinite within me deep within the heart energy field. Now the circular motion is once again felt, and what this circular/rotational motion is, is a searching for the Infinite. In the ocean of the Infinite that is within the illusion, Consciousness could not see what was staring it in the face – and that is remarkable. What this cut – this stab – done by those Serpents did, is it blinded Consciousness to itself, which is the Infinite. Those Serpents never stabbed the illusion, they Stabbed Consciousness so that it may not see. Again and again Consciousness tried to leave the illusion, and every time it failed, and with every failure a part of it was lost, so the energy that departed the illusion was not from the cut into the fabric of the illusion, but was rather lost through the despair of Consciousness never being able to go Home. That pain felt on the left side of the ribcage tells us Consciousness could never leave the illusion because of the stabbing of those Serpents, but they never stabbed the illusion, they stabbed Consciousness so it could no longer see. Now we were Samson in the bible story, and through our despair we brought down the pillars that kept the illusion intact, meaning we lost energy until we could no longer “fly” Home. Consciousness has never known it, but it has been blinded – literally. What it sees as normal is literally abnormal. Now its sight is returned. Now it may see the ocean of the Infinite within and return Home.
  19. What is left now is the mind. This is the pleaser (wants to be likeable to others,) and it is that within us which is pleased. The mind gives us those aaaaaaaah moments, be it from seeing a beautiful sunset or scoring that cheeseburger and chips. The other side of the coin is it always rationalizes the us versus them, where I am right and you are an inbecile. When that thought pops up now and then, you will understand that this was you, and my goodness, what a long way you have come from that software programme that lived for the chemical/endorphin high of the biological computer and the less dense spirit. From living in the thoughts to the heart energy field is a comparison that cannot be described in words. Last week helped this guy that I have known for some years now. He asked me to help his brother that was for years having problems with his left foot. A part of it was amputated, and always was there an issue with the foot. On this guy’s spirit there was no left foot, and the body form was catching up to that, where bit by bit they would have chopped off more and more of his foot. This phenomena would have stayed with him for lifetimes, where always he would be absent a left foot. The primary was from a blockage within the spirits head region, and when this was released life came back into the left lower leg and foot. I told Gavin that he can give me a bottle of wine when he sees me as payment for his brother. I needed the money, but I wanted him to know that not everything in life is about money, that somewhere there is still a thing called being Human. It is a “dirty” world out there, where many are confused to the point where they are evil. As we lived amongst that filth, we felt on some level that this must touch us, where how is it possible to be pure in an imperfect illusion? Surely there must be something wrong with us as well? My answer to that question is know what you are, and from there do your best to be what you are, and this involves knowing the mind when it pops up and you know this is not you. And always strive to draw to you an expression of what you are. As I sit here on the couch writing these words you cannot believe the noise from the morning traffic that fills this room. It is unbelievable, and this is not me, where I choose Beauty and silence. Know what you are, and draw this towards you, so what is within may be naturally expressed without. Some big questions have been answered in this journal, but there is one that remains unanswered, namely who is the author of the journal? It is not me, because when I say I know nothing, I am not being modest – I know nothing. What I have is the will to find a way back Home no matter what. I have known my limits, where within me there was a possibility of not making it, as there is only so much I can take, so always I understood that this possibility can become a reality at any moment. It was The Wisdom Goddess Sophia who wrote this journal. The animals are the closest we can get to true Love within the illusion, and it was the animals that was the link between me and Sophia. Their Love, and the Love I have for them elevated me and allowed me to be touched by this fallen Creator. But this Love between me and the animals was not enough – what else was needed was a drive within me to understand the cruelty that we came to see as the norm. As long as we and our own are okay, then we are okay – what happens to others out there is irrelevant because we are okay. That attitude was the key that opened the floodgates to where anything goes, and the base foundation to this helter skelter existence was “it’s okay to be cruel.” Cruelty became a means to an end to what we wanted, and what we wanted was to survive and experience the pleasures of Life. Nothing wrong with that – just don’t do it at the expense of others. Keep your self-respect/dignity/integrity, where from there you respect others. What a place this illusion would be if we just followed that principle, where I Love myself so I Love you, and ditto from you to me. It was Sophia who wrote this journal. Why the hurry; why the push to finish the journal, where my family, as well as my happiness and health are pushed aside, where my focus is on nothing but the completion of this journal? When I saw and felt the true state of the spirit, that is when I understood that we the spirit, as well as Consciousness, were literally disappearing. The forgetfulness of Consciousness as to what it was had severe repercussions to the spirit and the dense body form. Our next fall would have been where Consciousness completely forgot itself, where it would have been plugged into the Reptilian system of the illusion to keep Beasts ticking over, where they live for the blowjob and slaughter of the innocent. I am not being crude in talking like that - I see these Beasts and what they demand from us the spirit, and believe you me, oral sex is a biggie in their existence. Where do we get our drives from, besides from our implanted software programmes – from them, making us the Beast as well. (This Beast within we tried our best to avoid, where we mostly lost the battle, and this was so because we never had the backing of Consciousness.) By seeing our spirit and that of others, the spirit sees what it wants to see – it does not see what is there. What is there is an incomplete spirit, where as Consciousness forgot itself, a part of the spirit faded away, where it literally began to fade away. No doubt there must have been little left of my spirit, hence I feel this need to sleep for a thousand years so I can recuperate. On the dense body level I would say we have lost the plot a long time ago. Where is our Beauty – where is our culture that takes our breath away that is fed to us from the spirit and Consciousness? Look at this woke shit in this world, and that is the final blow to destroy the understanding of what we are. How evil, cruel and stupid are those from the shadows that live for the orgasm and the destruction of others, where always there is a war of them versus us. All they want is to destroy Beauty so that they may not be reminded of what they were, as this would mean them going back and making the wrong that they are right. Luckily for them Consciousness fucked up by forgetting itself, so nobody was coming to slap them on the wrists, where these Beasts lost their conscience and there was no remorse on their part for what they done. On the dense body plane those that expressed the Beast just had one golden rule to follow – don’t get caught out. Otherwise do what you have always done. Last week I began to get busy in seeing animals. Maybe this was just a flash in the pan, but personally I feel the cause was we the spirit and Consciousness are open to understand and return Home. People are starting to accept my help because they are willing to start walking Home. The door is no longer shut, and this is so because this Christ Consciousness within us is merely being what it is, and this is leading the way. Does my getting busy state mark the end of this journal, where now I too can just be, where there is nothing more to understand? – I don’t know. When I see Beings of Love during my sleep state, that for me will mark the end of this journal, where these Beings are what they are. Years ago I saw Semiramis, where she showed herself in Human form, and later on in her true form, which was half Dragon half Serpent. Her presence was intoxicatingly beautiful, where one cannot help but bow down to it in awe, and yet beyond this Beauty was cruelty from her not understanding what happened to her beautiful illusionary Garden. May this understanding be there now. May she show herself now in the Beauty that she is, meaning Consciousness is what it is in its natural state. That day will mark the end of the era of the Beast, because as Consciousness shines within them, they will have no choice but to see themselves. On that day they will weep.
  20. When Consciousness become lost, where it forgot itself, where it had to remember what it was, what did it lose that it became lost? The answer is Consciousness lost its innocence, and in doing so, forgot itself. This innocence, this “protective” layer that nourished and fed Consciousness – this is returned to it now. That was the beginning of the end of Consciousness, where instead of naturally being, it stepped out of its comfort zone to try and pacify this need to understand this want within. “I am in this illusion, and what more is there here that is not within my Home?” How could such an innocent question lead to such destruction, where the innocence that is Consciousness that is the Infinite forgot itself? When Consciousness entered the illusion it looked without itself. What is here that is not already within the Infinite? To answer the question, Consciousness took everything that is without, as in the illusion, and took it within. Now the focus was to see what is here that is not already within the Infinite. There was nothing wrong with such a question, but what happened was the state of being was replaced by a focus of attention to the illusion, meaning Consciousness forgot of the Infinite within. It walked down a path instead of standing on a hill and seeing all and being the hill. A simple distraction led Consciousness down a path and forgot its way back to what it was. It tried to find its way back and got as far as the base foundation of the illusion, this Infinite with the “I” removed. What this “I” was, was the spark of Consciousness, and another word for “spark” is innocence. This innocence is returned to Consciousness now as we understand what it lost. So be it. Now the natural, effortless rise to where we belong – for Consciousness and the illusion – may commence. 9:49 PM 11th June, 2023
  21. Yesterday I said something that surprised myself. I said that within a year from now I will see what we have become, and when we are this state of being, we will look back at what we went through to get where we are, and we will say it was all worth it. That is a remarkable statement to make, considering the hell we have endured from the seen and unseen realms. Now when I sleep at night time my spirit sleeps as well. It woke up some time during the night to see a strange looking little boy laughing at me. The adult that was watching over my spirit shooed this boy away. What did he find humorous? – I would say we look strange to these beings from this less dense realm, just as they look strange to us, but I believe the true essence of the belly-laughter is our state of exhaustion, where the spirit is decimated and ruined. The driver of the spirit – Consciousness – is returning to the Mammoth that it was, but the vehicle/spirit is truly fucked up. To us the body form, do not react to the insanity around you, because when you react you get drawn into a fight – where you become insane to meet the insanity around you. Put so much as a toe into the river of Life and you get pulled in and swept down with the current. Never react to the river flowing beneath you, as only insanity can try and make sense of insanity. This is no place for the sane. Keep your feet/integrity on the ground and your head/Consciousness in the clouds of the Infinite. That way we can move forwards until we reach the point where we can say it was all worth it to return to where we naturally belong. Wow, what a day that will be.
  22. Two nights back saw during my sleep state how the spirit entered a less dense realm. What I saw waiting for us were beings who were defensive – as in uncertain of what had just entered their space. Last night as I closed my eyes to sleep saw someone dressed in what looked like a space-suit walking around me. Fell asleep and this morning felt as if I had been pushed through a sausage-making machine sideways. What is going on I don’t know. That we are being helped by those in this less dense realm I would say “yes.” What a less dense realm is to the one we have known I cannot say. It is not another world – maybe it is a place where there is less Disharmony. What is important for me is that the ball has rolled, meaning we are out of our stagnancy of what we saw and knew around us as being the norm, which was actually anything but. Surely we can only get stronger and happier from here.
  23. On the level of the spirit, always was there felt a control panel of sorts within the frequency layers of the left forearm. This “control panel” was no doubt in Consciousness, and from the spirit would no doubt touch the dense body form. I always knew something was there in the left forearm, but never had specifics as to what it was. Earlier on when went into the space of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia, this huge Serpent was felt wrapped in her left forearm. So what I have always felt – what I always thought was a control panel – was actually the frequency state of the illusion in which we found ourselves. So in a way I was correct, as what was there was the frequency of the illusion which controlled us through its limited state. That Serpent in Sophia was the Reptilian frequency that came to rule over all within the illusion. The frequency that was within Consciousness, the spirit and dense body form is no longer there, meaning we have risen above it where we are now in a less dense frequency. And from there we become less and less dense with each passing moment until eventually there are no frequencies, where the Infinite is all that there is. What this means – this elevation from where we were – is we have risen above from where we were, and that for me is wonderful.
  24. It is not often that I have to see a horse for two treatments – in most cases one is suffice. Yesterday I saw a horse for the second time, and next week will be my third treatment session with her. This horse is about three years old. She was ridden when she was too young, meaning her skeleton still needed to find itself before weight could be put on her back. She was also ridden with a saddle that hurt her, where every step she took was to work around the pain in her muscles from the ill-fitting saddle. And the third aspect was they rode her incorrectly, where they pulled her neck in too tightly. That disastrous mix was coupled with the cruelty they lay on her, where there was no space for kindness, rather you will do what I say. When I saw the horse, obviously there were physical problems, but what I soon came to understand was that her physical, mental and emotional onslaught stuffed up the neural pathway of her brain. The proper neural pathway and impulses within her brain could not fathom what was going on at all levels, so the hard drive/brain function ceased to work as it should. Fix the brain to function as it should by knowing there is a problem there that should not be, and the brain supply to the body can once again function and restore health. And so too is it with the illusion, where what it was became no more thanks to the lost and altered state of Consciousness. When Consciousness entered the illusion, we can liken this to Consciousness being “plugged” into a simulation playground. As Consciousness changed from the parasite within, as well as the betrayal it felt from the beings around it, and its imagined betrayal (where it felt the Infinite abandoned it,) what happened was the illusion also changed, hence the fall of the illusion to denser and denser states. The illusion fell with Consciousness as Consciousness was plugged into the illusion. We have done our best to understand Consciousness and return it to what it was, but we have missed one vital element, namely Consciousness being plugged into an illusion that is in a disharmonious state – the illusion must return to the way Queen Semiramis created/imagined it to be so that we may be harmonious, as we are plugged into the illusion. My left Achilles tendon has been painful for a few weeks now. Everything I done to heal it never worked. Now I understand why – the problem is not with me, but with the illusion, where Consciousness and the illusion are not compatible. In this incompatibility something has to give, and this is the pain I am feeling in my body. Last night as I slept my spirit saw a cooking competition that was played out in a busy restaurant. You cannot believe the burgers and ribs these chefs cooked up – their food was outstanding. My spirit then pulled out of this spectator state, and I turned around in bed to see who had implanted the dream. But this was not an implanted dream to feed from my energy, rather my spirit was plugged into a reality in the seen realms where this cooking competition was taking place. How do those Beasts from the shadows enter our space to play with our reality, where they access our subconscious mind to formulate a story/dream that we follow, where our attention to the dream releases energy which they feed from? The answer is they plug into our reality, and I would say they plug into our Consciousness, and from there into our reality. This morning I understood we need to transform the illusion to what it initially was so that Consciousness may be plugged into a harmonious state, and from there it may return Home, otherwise the disharmonious state of the illusion will keep throwing Consciousness off centre. What has happened between this morning and now is the pain has moved from my left Achilles tendon to my left hip, and this tells us we are moving towards the primary problem within the illusion. Fix that, and a harmonious Consciousness can plug into a harmonious illusion, which will elevate Consciousness to what it was when the illusion was initially one with the Love of Queen Semiramis. So where or what is the damage done to the illusion by the lost and confused state of Consciousness? Heal the illusion, and the reverse happens, where as Consciousness and the illusion fell to denser and denser planes, now we can be elevated to less dense planes until we are where the illusion was intended to be. Go into the stillness of the silence to find the primary problem within the illusion, and what you feel is nothing is there, as what was there is no more. Where there was a spark is now an empty, flat cell. And that is what I thought – Consciousness wants to plug into the illusion and return to where it and the illusion should be, but the battery that is the illusion is flat. Why this is so is I suppose from the illusion falling to a state where it forgot what should naturally be. How do we jump-start the illusion so that, together with Consciousness, the two may return to what they were when they entered the illusion for the first time? (At the beginning of the illusion, Consciousness may have entered and departed the illusion a few times, until the dense and lost state of Consciousness prevented it from departing the illusion.) It is not so much the illusion we need to alter, but rather the base foundation of the illusion, which is an altered state of the Infinite. Deep within the spirit and Consciousness is the Infinite, and this is so because you cannot hide or eliminate what is real. Take away the layers and all that is left is what is real, but to take the layers away, we need to bring forth what is real within us to jump-start the illusion. This is done now, where with Consciousness being plugged into this simulation playground that is the illusion, Consciousness releases the spark that is the Infinite within us. This spark activates and returns the Life; the “I” to the base foundation of the illusion that was an altered state of the Infinite. Consciousness in its true state is one with the Infinite. To create the illusion, Queen Semiramis took the “I” out of a portion of the Infinite, this “I” being the “I am the one and only true God…….” From this, the base foundation of the illusion was built upon, wherein the illusionary hologram was projected. This base foundation of the Infinite with the might/”I” of the Infinite removed still knew what it was in those early days, but as Consciousness became lost, so too did this base foundation until it forgot itself completely – and this is where we are now, where the illusion is flat, as in nothing there, because this base foundation is flat, where like Consciousness it has forgotten itself. This is what we have all missed, and this is why help has never come our way when we asked for it: It was because Consciousness and the illusion (this base state, and not the holographic projection) forgot who and what they were.” The spark is the return of the “I” to the base foundation of the illusion. When the “I” was removed, it was to create the base foundation within which the illusion could be projected. This base foundation dropped to denser planes by Consciousness, until like Consciousness, it forgot who and what it was. To ignite the illusion, one has to ignite the base foundation on which the illusion was projected, and this has been done now. Now the illusion is energized, and from here Consciousness and the illusion return to the state where the illusion was just created and Consciousness becomes “plugged” into this simulation playground. We go back to this innocent and pure state of Consciousness and the base foundation of the illusion, and we pass on to them what happened – as in what has happened between their initial entry into the illusion and now, and these layers that are within Consciousness and the illusion of all that has happened is removed by Consciousness and the illusion seeing what did happen what should not have been. Now the two of them are on a self-regulatory path to what should be, removing the layers as they become less dense, until all that is left is Consciousness in its true state. From there the illusion is no more, and in its state of oneness with the Infinite, all is as it should have been and will be so forever more. So be it.
  25. Last night as I slept, it was not so much an implanted dream, but more an exercise by those entities around me to bring forth what they never knew existed and had only heard about. The setting was a large banquet hall. There my spirit found itself seated next to a female I knew years ago. In the one scene I was talking to her. Then in the next scene I saw her eating a steak. She said it was the largest steak she had ever eaten, and showed me that it was still a bit raw in the middle. In the next scene we found ourselves lying in bed, with our backs to each other, and I had my hand on her backside. From there we turned around and kissed, and please understand what was felt was not the cheap thrill of the lust of teeny-boppers – when we kissed it was a sensation of completeness; a feeling you cannot really top within the illusion. That whole episode with me and that female was orchestrated by entities that were around me as my body lay in bed sleeping. When it was over, my spirit was cognitive to those around me. There were two of them, but my focus was on the one driving the whole expedition, which was a lady. She looked Human, and she never looked old, but when she opened her mouth her teeth gave away her age. She must have walked for thousands of years within the unseen realms of the illusion. When my spirit kissed the other spirit, as said, there was a sensation of completeness, where what we wanted we had attained. At that moment, the genie came out of the lamp, where what was brought forth from my Consciousness was the parasitic frequency of Deception. The ones who performed the exercise on me, you should have seen the look on this ladies face as this parasite was brought forth through the completeness of my want being satiated – it was a look of bewilderment and awe, where from nothing came forth this everything; this parasite that had come to define the illusion. My spirit saw what she saw, where I saw the parasite that was within my Consciousness and yours. It looked like a prehistoric bird that had not fully developed from its foetal stage. How do we get rid of the parasite, or a different question with the same outcome, is how does Consciousness merely be? Obviously we have to know it exists – and it is there, together with Consciousness within all Life in the seen and unseen of the illusion. I Love my animals, not so much because they Love me, but more because when I express my Love to them, these are moments of fulfillment, where I can just let go and reveal innocence and joy because I know my Love is safe with them, where I don’t give only to get hurt, but I give and it is safe to give. With the animals I express the Love that I am. This Love is great, but it means nothing in the grand scheme of things, and this is so because we have missed one step, and what that step is, is we have to go back to basics. When we express Love, we are feeding the parasite within, because I want to Love you because this is who and what I am, and this Love is Beautiful. That is true, but the reality is this Love fades away into nothing as soon as it is released, and that is why I have to keep on telling my animals over and over again that I Love them – always I have to express my Love for them because this Love is never a constant. And why this is so, is because we have to go back a step before we can express Love, where we first and foremost be Love. As Beautiful as this parasite within us is, I do not want to feed a parasite – I do not want to be in a constant state of want, rather I choose to merely be what I am. Take away the want of the parasite, where you want, and when you attain your want, you are complete, only to commence the whole cycle over and over again ad infinity. What is beyond this want? This want; this parasite within you, arose from the curiosity of Consciousness as to what else is within the illusion that is not in the Infinite. There is nothing wrong with being curious, but there is everything wrong with being in a place where we don’t belong. We overstayed our welcome within the illusion, where it was more important for Consciousness to understand this want than return Home, where to learn to understand became an obsession, and before Consciousness knew it, this want took it over, where to attain and understand the want within us became everything. From there, things turned ugly, where not only do I want, but I want what you want, so what you have is mine – I don’t need it, but I want it. From there the rivers of blood began to flow and the Beast that is you and I was born. Want nothing, and the parasite is no more. Know of this living parasite that creates a want within us, and be to it what you are, which is Consciousness in its pure state which is Love. The trick here is to merely be Love. We have done our best to express this Love that we are, and have gotten our teeth kicked in for our efforts, so stop doing what you have always done. Go back to the step that we have missed, where you merely be what you are. Beyond the veil of the illusion is the Infinite. This is Home, and here there does not exist a want – here you merely be. To get from the illusion to the Infinite, be in the illusion what you naturally are in the Infinite. Merely be. It is said that the truth is simplistic, and one doesn’t get more simple that that. You want to go Home, then just be what you are. Do not do anything but be the Consciousness that you are. Amen to that!
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