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steven geldenhuys

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  1. If you want to transplant a plant, then you have to stick your spade deep into the soil to make sure you get all its roots. And so too, if you want to impact the illusion, scrape the bottom on the barrel so that all may rise together. It was never about changing you, because I have no right to do that. It was about sharing what came to be understood why a beautiful Garden became a living hell, and in the process Consciousness became lost unto itself. We cannot see ourselves, so how we know what we are, is seeing a reflection of ourselves in others. You are me, and I am you. If I like what I see in you, then I am drawn to you – which is myself, and of course the opposite is true, where if I see a Beast, and I am not one, then I am disgusted and appalled in what I see. So what I done in writing this journal was give it to the all. Before I even knew what was to be said, the aim was to make sure it goes to all within the unseen, so that when it is complete, there are no excuses, where now you have an equal opportunity to be me, just as I have to be you. In you I see me, otherwise I am blinded unto myself. What happens if there is no one like you, causing you to drift, never finding you and your own? Well, that I have been doing for a long time, but it has never been about me – it is about you, because you are me, and if you are not happy then neither can I be. My wife really fucked me up, but there is a part of her that is also remarkable. There was no time this time around for a romance, because a job had to be done where we all once again get to know each other. Nobody else would have given me the freedom to sit at home and write a journal, placing no pressure on me whatsoever to go out there and get a job. This journal was my job, for those in the unseen, and without my wife, what you are today would never have been possible. She was the silent partner that allowed me to get on with what needed to be done. Sure, it would have been great to love someone, where the love I have in myself I see in them, but this never happened, because here in the dense physical realms we are all truly fucked up, with me always standing first in line. Now I see the stupidity of what is out there; the raw brute, and that is not me, where I want to run away because I don’t like what I see. My fucked up, intense, eldest daughter is you and me, doing her best to be happy and make the most of Life. We are all the same, and I say this because I see me in everyone out there. So what changed in writing this journal? The answer is I stopped looking for me in you, where I found me in myself, and this could only be done when I no longer became lost unto myself. Now I can get to know myself, and from there be myself. Well, what about this Divine Intervention I have always spoken about? What happens to me, happens to you, where by me helping myself, now I can help you, and so this is true of those that can help us, namely Sophia and Semiramis et al. Last night as I slept my Consciousness focused on itself, where it came to know and be itself, and what this tells us, is we are no longer lost and alone, because we can now awaken unto ourselves, bringing forth what we are in the seen and unseen, until all that is left is Consciousness. We have been searching for ourselves in others, hence the need to never be alone, and now we can rise above ourselves and be, and that for me is remarkable. It has always been about Consciousness – this Beautiful, pure crystal that became floored and cracked by the Deceit that was spread throughout the illusion; this wooden puppet that wanted to be a real boy, that wanted to embrace Life and live every moment to its fullest. May we all now know ourselves, and from there be what we are, which is joy, happiness and peace within, knowing where our Home is and where we belong. We have been deceived and lied to, and this is no longer possible, because I don’t need you to tell me what I am or what the truth is. We know ourselves, and from there we see ourselves in others, and it is there that we will make our home in the illusion until we have had enough here, and from there pass to the fields of Infinite Love. It was been an awful journey for the majority the worlds over. In knowing and being ourselves, may we experience the complete opposite of what we have, before we depart this strange, unfamiliar place. There is much beauty everywhere.
  2. When we talk about innocence – or the innocent – we are talking about Consciousness; this pure flower that was born from the Infinite. This innocence was Deceived, and this is where we throw down a question mark. Why would you deprive me of my freedom? Why take away my joy? Why destroy me? Why make me suffer? Why shame me? You have your own freedom, so why do you need mine? You have your own integrity and self-respect, so why take away mine? You have your own, and around you is a limitless supply of abundance, so why would you come into my space and destroy me when around you is the everything? We need to trace the steps back as to what happened that this illusionary playground became a battle field, with Consciousness caught slap-bang in the middle of it. Even the innocent can fall, and it is my belief that Consciousness in this illusionary Garden became addicted to Chaos – that thrill of “Oh for fucks-sakes, what now……..”; or “…….. not again!” Am I wrong in saying this? Let’s find out. Go into the stillness of the silence and into the space of Consciousness, and what you find is a mild form of intensity, where everything becomes strained, because being in the presence of Chaos is exhausting. Look past this intensity, and there is a want – a want to be part of the action; a want to miss nothing. When you look for something that should naturally not be there, you strain yourself, you focus, where you look really hard for what you want, because you expect it to be there – you want it to be there. We have spoken about addiction in the journal, and this addiction came from the take of the Parasite, from where a “want to take” arose within us, so could this wanting to be part of the action be a form of addiction within Consciousness? By looking, instead of being, Consciousness shut itself off from the everything. We became hooked into the Game, and this fucked us up, where we became narrow-minded, where this is all I want to know. It is not pleasant, but it is good enough for me. To those that wish it so, we release this will of “I want to Live and be part of the action” within Consciousness. Your focus of attention has been to an illusion you stupid fuck-nut. What you saw; what you chased; what intrigued you, was not even real, so go back to what you are. What you forgot, was this place was meant to be a playground, and slowly but surely the fun was sucked out of here, where now we had to look really hard for that bit of joy. Stop looking and start being what you are. Just let go and allow yourself to be. Go back to what is real, which is the Love that you are, because you the innocent are suffering, and this is not the norm, regardless if you are in the Infinite or an illusion. So let’s go back to the initial question: Why would we – as in evil Deceit - deprive Consciousness of its innocence? The answer is because Consciousness played in our evil Game. You play, you win or you lose, meaning eventually we all lose. So stop playing in this Game Consciousness, rather go back to you just being what you are. That is real – that is where the real action is.
  3. Applied the frequency of Mr. Stone to the Consciousness of my car. Now my car is okay - motor not dead; car works perfectly. Go figure. Today is a good day to start anew.
  4. Woke up this morning and had nothing to write in journal. Said to myself today is a good day to kick-start my life to where I move to where i belong and start being. So I sat in the stillness for a few seconds to jump-start me. Went to my car with my eldest daughter to take her to school, and the car would not start. The battery was fine, as the lights came on in the car, but the motor was completely dead. I look after my car because it has to look after me, so what was going on here? No doubt there was foul play here from the unseen, because when i went into the energy/frequency field of my car it was lifeless. Scrolled down to begin writing in the journal and my eye caught what i wrote about the cat called Mr. Stone. What is going on here, is pieces of the puzzle are being passed on as needed. This journal has no beginning, follow-through, and then end - what it is, is pieces of the puzzle that are scattered everywhere. Now the pieces are being passed to us as needed. May the piece passed on below be enough to start my car, otherwise am fucked. {Today is the 1st March 2019. Last night my soul was overpowered by what must have been at least ten statue men. They walked upright in a systematic robot fashion. They were white men, with heads that were a mix between cavemen and a horse. They overpowered me, and then took of my energy and gave it to their boss/ruler. He looked like a fat Gollum from The Lord of the Rings movie. He was a cruel bastard, who sarcastically closed his eyes and dropped his head to feign being dead, and then opened his eyes to show that now he is alive, and then proceeded to eat of my energy. My heart sank after this encounter, as after everything that has been said and done in this journal has not helped keep these beasts at bay. And this morning, just before I awoke, I saw another glimpse of my parallel word. A pair of birds that look like partridges have entered the garden of Steven, and they too were seen in his parallel world, but in his parallel world there are baby ducks that accompany these birds. Yesterday I was asked to help with this cat that was bothering the neighbors – there was something off with this cat, and when I assessed it I found nothing out the ordinary. The bottom line was that I could not help these people with their cat. This morning after waking up, I understood the big picture, and below is the letter of response to the people: Morning There have been animals that I have been asked to help in the past where I have failed them dismally. As hard as I tried, I could not assist them, and what I soon learnt was to take a step back and look at the big picture. The reality was that these animals came into my life; they crossed my path, to help me. Such is the case of Mr. Stone. My first reaction when I saw his photo was that something is not nice about this cat. I am ashamed for this, as now I understand that the only unpleasant one is Steven. I saw Mr. Stone from the eyes of a Human, and let’s face it, there isn’t much good in our species. What I saw in Mr. Stone I could not understand, so I went on the back foot and was wary of him, which bordered on dislike. This was my first unethical, unprofessional reaction to him – a typical Human reaction with all that we don’t understand. What Mr. Stone is, is a being that is way above all of us. I had my Third Eye opened five years ago, which allowed me to see the cruel beasts that rule us from the shadows. We are all in Hell, and as we are in a state that goes against the natural flow of Love, we all need energy/food to survive. So too do these beasts that rule us from the shadows. They live off of our energy, and the crueler the beast within or without us, the more energy it needs, so the meaner we become. Our nastiness comes from these beasts that rule us, as I feel that we are all inherently good, but are overpowered by beings that we cannot see or hear. I see these beasts every night, and I explain in my book how they take of our energy. I have tried everything to get them out of our space, as the more energy we hold onto, the more we can rise above this frequency cesspit in which we find ourselves, where there is so much cruelty and heartache. If we can just get these beasts that rule us from the shadows out of our space, then we can start living as we should. We are all meant to be happy; life is not meant to be a struggle, as this is not our natural state. I don’t know what I can or can’t tell you, as some people are very sensitive to anything that falls out of their parameter of thinking, but I hope you know that what I say comes from a good heart. I speak on behalf of Mr. Stone, as he was my client. I speak so that we, myself included, may understand this soul that knows more than what I will ever know. When Mr. Stone took of your energy, he was neutralizing the frustration/disharmony within you. There is Disharmony in all of us, and this is something that I have been living and breathing over the last five years – to get rid of this Disharmony, so that these beasts may no longer rule over us, so that we may once again be within the fields of Love – our natural state. Mr. Stone knows how to neutralize these beasts/Disharmony within us, but because we did not understand him, we ridiculed him and saw him as a bad/nasty cat. I am ashamed for my pathetic first response to him – it merely shows me how much I have to learn. Everyone you asked for assistance regarding Mr. Stone were correct. He is a higher being; you have met him in the past, as he has always been there to help you. The bugger up is that do we ever listen when help stares us in the face? We all need help, because Life is bloody tough, so I am thankful to Angels like Mr. Stone for coming to assist us. He has a frequency that draws the power out of these beasts and makes them null and void over our existence. It is ours to take if we want it, which I most certainly will do now. I have seen what nobody else has seen, and I have been to other worlds to find a way out of this cesspit in which we find ourselves, hoping that I will get answers to be free from this Hell. Nothing has helped; I have yet to find an answer after dedicating the last five years of my life to this quest. The answer/frequency came through a cat called Mr. Stone, and I am most thankful for this. Allow him to help you as he wants to, and make sure that he is happy. Like all of us, he wants his peace within this crazy world. Please find him a home where he belongs. Regards, Steven Taking of a frequency can best be explained in another e-mail that I wrote to a person yesterday: Hi Technology is taking us over, where everything happens at superfast speed. Us humans are being left behind as robots start doing what we always done, even complex surgery. The stress factor amongst us humans to keep up with our world is causing a breakdown of our society, especially as we feel that we are no longer contributors to the way of life. Whatever we done in the past is pretty much useless, as the digital world takes us over. So to adapt and be one step ahead of technology, one has to understand our reality. Everything is frequencies/energy. When the radio station projects the frequency of a song to your radio, the frequency has the potential to make you happy or sad, in other words, it has a direct influence on your existence. When i am in the presence of the animal patient, i project the frequency onto them that no Disharmony is allowed on their form, and this frequency is what heals. (I need at a later stage to expand on what is meant by Disharmony.) How i teach others is by giving them the frequency i project onto the animals. Its that easy. Thats the medicine of the future my friend. Thats what healed your dog. All the best, Steven If there is any sanity left in this insane world, then take of this frequency that is offered by Mr. Stone that eradicates these beasts from our existence. Take of it now so that we may no longer be suppressed by cruel beasts.} {It’s just after one thirty in the morning on the 4th March 2019. It took some time to understand what the frequency of Mr. Stone does. The numbers 666 are related to the Satanists, and according to Pierre Sabak, the numbers represent the “architectural framework” of Hell. We, the lost souls, are intertwined within the frequency of Hell; this network of a false reality permeates the body form, the soul and the spirit. As long as this structure remains intact, we are going nowhere – in other words, we are staying put in Hell. What this means is that as long as we are inter-connected to this false reality, we are linked to the players in Hell – the seen and the unseen. There is no ways that we are going anywhere as long as this 666 frequency courses through us. (Once again, I remember writing years ago that this 666 frequency was the frequency of our natural home state, but it was inverted to be Disharmonious.) In the interim between what was said regarding the frequency of Mr. Stone and now, entities have still entered my space to play with me. Many “blind dates;” where couples unexpectantly meet for the first time, are arranged from those in the shadows. These dates turn out to be matches made in Hell, and they are just that – so that maximum heartache can be inflicted upon the couple and those in their wake. Affairs and chance encounters don’t just happen you fools – we are puppets played on a string. These beings have entered my forms as I have not understood the frequency that Mr. Stone has to offer. What his frequency does is that it dismantles the architectural framework of Hell; the inverted 666 frequency, so that we may be free of this frequency, and in doing so, may be free from those that control us from the shadows. Remember that all in Hell are in a prison; a dense vibrational frequency, and the difference between Steven and these Beasts, is that Steven wants to be free of this Hell and its cruel players, unlike many who regard it as home. Understand what the frequency of Mr. Stone does: It detaches the body, soul and spirit from the frequency of Hell so that we may be free from this System, and as we are no longer attached to the Game in which we are played, the power of the entities that control and play with us becomes obsolete. I thank Mr. Stone for this frequency, and I give him Love in return for what I have received. I absorb this frequency and make it my own so that it fills my body, soul and spirit in their entirety. I send this frequency of Mr. Stone to Sophia, Semiramis, Nimrod, and my friends the god of Wrath and the funky Polar Bear. I am most thankful Mr. Stone. Thank you!} {Okay, so let’s take this 666 frequency a step further. Today is the 23rd March 2019. The other day my wife said that the only concern she had for me in writing this journal was my sanity. She feared that I would never reach a final solution and conclusion to this Game, and last night I understood what she meant. My head began to pain; I was being overwhelmed and bombarded by the frequencies of Hell; these fuckers had me by the balls and were drowning me within the Disharmonious frequency of Hell. The framework of Hell; the frequency of 666 arose from Fear – our Fear as we became uncertain after our Second Fall. We constructed this framework of Hell, so it is fair to say that we keep Hell intact. We are all children of God, so as unreal as this may sound – we are all interconnected, and it is this interconnection that keeps us chained within this most unpleasant frequency. If you want to break free of this dense frequency so that you are independent of Hell, where you decide your destiny rather than foul Beasts, then you have to break your connection from the Fear that courses through all of us. You may sit cross-legged in your cave all day every day, but as long as you have an affiliation to Life, you are still caught and trapped in the cargo-net called Hell – the 666 frequency of Hell. This morning I woke up and smelt the after-effects of the disharmonious entities that came into my space during the night to do with me as they please. I connected with my dog Fiona, who has the same excess junk bombardment within the brain as me, and through breathing in the Love that is with intent, we got rid of this mess within our forms. Naturally this meant nothing as it would only be a matter of time before this nonsense returned. So what I done was get the whole team together: Steven, Fiona, Max, Earl, the Necromancer, Semiramis, Sophia, Nimrod, the god of Wrath, and the frequency of Deception. I got together my loved ones and the key players of Hell, and I placed us together in a round circle facing the outside of the circle. Then I breathed in the Love that is and coursed this Love through the ten of us, so that we are all just Love. Then I broke the architectural framework that links us with the rest of the finite in Hell – the “floor” all around us broke away; we severed our ties with all. This is the beauty of understanding Hell; of understanding that there is no Evil – you can hold onto your belief; what you define as your God, and be free of the 666 frequency by doing what Steven just done. Hold onto your God, but please, hold onto the key players in Hell as well, so that you may fill them with Love, and then break all ties with the frequency of Hell. If you don’t do this, you will forever more be linked to entities that you cannot see that do with you what they like. That is why in Hell bullies and baddies are king – they have the Disharmonious frequency of Hell backing them as they do what they want when they want. Their actions are “normal,” as they are in the playing fields of Hell with its frequency of 666 coursing through them. To go against a bully one stands alone, as others don’t have the courage to fight this energy that makes up the System of Hell. Our Love and our courage is almost unheard of here is Hell, as one dares to break free of the cargo-net of Hell and face the System head-on – to look Fear in the eye and tell it that you are no longer afraid. You will read later how I was told the other day to always surround myself with good people/frequencies. Now I understand what they meant: Be free of the System by detaching yourself from the Disharmonious frequency of Hell within and without others. When you want to heal, then bring the frequency of the one you want to heal into your space, and then fill them with Love, and most importantly, break their ties with the frequency of Hell. Those you help will automatically be reconnected to their loved ones, but this time around they won’t be connected to the Disharmonious frequencies that are unknowingly associated with their loved ones. We need to understand that we have been “asleep” for a long time. While we have slept and been ignorant to the Game, Beasts have mastered it. We need to start over again on our own playing field that is free from Disharmony, and how this is done is to sever our ties with all that were intertwined within our frequency in Hell. Break the unnatural thread so that the natural one may flourish. This morning we had a friend around for breakfast. She is a good person with a good heart. No doubt she is not perfect like all of us, but she listens to her conscience whenever she can, and it shows. At one stage during the course of the morning when I entered her space, I felt this pain on my left cheek, which is indicative that I am around a nasty person. As I had an affiliation to this person – as in I was fond her, I also had the misfortune of being open to and encountering her nasty streak; that part of us that intertwines with Hell. Initially I could not understand why I was given the signal that I was around an unpleasant person, but now I know – it was Stevens body, soul and spirit severing itself from the frequency of Hell and all its participants. I am not better than anything or anyone else; I am merely detached from this unpleasant 666 frequency. When I felt the pain on my left cheek, what happened was that I was detached from her Dark side. As we are all intertwined; we take in the good and bad from others, but now I take in only their Love as I am detached from Hell – the Hell within and without them. Now you can begin to heal yourself and others, as now the playing field is levelled, as we are devoid of Hell. To heal yourself, breathe in the Love that is with intent, and this Love will heal, and you will remain healed as you are no longer in the fields of Hell. To heal others, bring them into your space and do the same for them – where the Love that is courses through them, and when the healing is complete they remain in this Love state as they are no longer attached to Hell. Please do never be afraid to experience and be the unfamiliar – our natural state of Love. 23rd March 2019}
  5. When I scrolled down from page one to the journals end so that I may resume writing, the pages momentarily stopped on what is inserted below, which was written in the journal five years and two months ago to the day. I will now write what I feel needs to be said, and then you can read what was written all those years ago. I don’t know if it was the truth, but somewhere in that text something is relevant to now. What I wrote will remain unaltered, so you can sieve through it and decide what is applicable to us now. What I wanted to say, before finding the text below, is the illusion was transformed through the ways of the Demiurge. When you know how a problem manifested, you can undo the steps that created the problem, so that the problem is no more, and this we will do now, where we take away the Deceit frequency from the space of the Demiurge. Now there is no longer a God of indifference and Destruction. Now there is only a God of Love that touches all. The Deceit that was there is returned with Love to Love to the Infinite where it becomes null and void, as disharmony has no place in the space of what naturally is, which is harmony. So be it. 22/08/2023 {We go to our local library on a regular basis to get books for our children to read. On our visit there last week, I was drawn to the book The Rainbow Bear by Michael Morpurgo. The story can be briefly summarised as follows: There was a polar bear that was king of its wild, white wilderness. One day he saw a rainbow, and he wanted more than anything to catch the rainbow and make it his own. The rainbow shone on him, and he wished that he could stay a rainbow bear. People came with a ship and caught the rainbow bear and put him in a cage/zoo in their city. Then a boy came to the rainbow bear and felt compassion for him. Another rainbow appeared and shone on the both of them, and the boy wished that the rainbow bear could once again become white and return to his home. The bear then woke up, and was once again in his wilderness – wild and free. The god of Wrath showed me how the Golden Glow of Deception shone on us the Fallen spirit. Our spirit saw this beautiful awakening of a Golden Glow from the skies, and we became mesmerised and consumed by this Glow. This Glow was the frequency of Free Will. It was something anew; something spectacular, as we had never experienced such a phenomenon. But alas, as a moth is drawn to a light, only to be scorched by this thing of beauty, so too were we drawn to the ways of pure, undiluted Evil. This thing of beauty drew us away from our natural path to Home only to become our prison. As has been said in the journal, before I entered this Earth realm, my soul was commissioned by a man in the soul realm to find someone that this man loved. The loved one of this man was missing, and he approached me to find his loved one. It is now that I understand that this mans loved one was not so much a soul or person, but rather it was a state of being that he missed. There was something amiss in the soul world; there was something “out of place; something that did not gel.” What this man felt, but could not place, was the sinister hand of Evil. The frequency that shows itself in the form of a polar bear is a state of Stability. This Stability never allows the scales to swing between Good and Bad; there is just a state of Unity, where everything is as it should. I remember writing of a Second Fall that we endured, and it was during this second Fall from the fields of the Infinite that we lost our compassion; our energy within our heart space. So often in the journal do we speak of the heart energy field as the key to returning Home, but what we never knew was that our second Fall closed off this link to Home. We Fell to a state that was even unknown to Semiramis and Nimrod – we became beasts that destroyed all, and I would say that it was us; the Fallen souls, that plunged the Frequency of Free Will into self-destruct mode. We fed the Beast too much energy, setting it on a course of annihilation. What Semiramis wanted was her own world with her own children, much the same as Sophia had. That her world would be an illusion was irrelevant to her; she just wanted to play and have loved ones to oversee. This division/separation from the natural state of Love was harmless – there was no element of jealousy, fear or hate. Our second Fall, where we lost the Stability of a “good heart,” plunged the world of Semiramis into a cataclysmic shift that would become known as Hell. The experiment of Semiramis went horribly wrong, and as we lost our conscience, so too did she. The being of Love that wanted to play in her own world became consumed by the wrong of her children – in no time Semiramis became the monster that she is today. The answer to this monumental disaster that began before the beginning of time lies within the frequency of the polar bear; the state of Stability. What this state does is that it restores the compassion within our heart energy field; we develop a conscience where we may know what is Harmonious, not just for ourselves, but for everybody. Yes, we Fell, where we chose to go against the natural flow of what is, but we never intended to go ballistic and wild. We wanted to experience something different; there was nothing wrong with this. It’s like you working for a company, and you are happy working there, and then someone else approaches you to go and work for them. There is nothing wrong with a variety; there is nothing wrong with trying something different – the disaster came when we lost our conscience; the power within our heart energy field, thanks to our accidental second Fall. When the strand of Inherent Goodness was cloned and placed within our souls heart energy field, that was when the frequency of the polar bear was awakened – when we once again knew of the state of Stability. From here, we can choose whether we want to return Home or carry on playing in the illusion. Without this state of Stability we never had a snowballs chance in Hell of returning Home; we were lost with no compass; no heart energy field to guide us back Home. In a flashing moment last night in my sleep state I was the frequency of the polar bear; this state that was in all of us. We followed only one path when we saw the Golden Glow of Semiramis, but to be fair to Semiramis, she was not initially Evil. She showed us an alternative to what we had, and had we not lost our Stability within our heart energy field thanks to our second Fall, I am sure that this world of hers would not be a bad place to be in. Through that long-winded speech, what I am trying to say is that my job is done – I have found what I was asked to find; the state of Stability has returned. The difference now is that there is Good and Evil; there is Home and this world of illusion – there is no longer just Evil. What I write here at the very end of the journal I place towards its beginning, so that you may know of the transformation within your soul. From here, the choice is yours to play in this illusion or return Home. Either way, have fun and be happy. 10:44 on 22/10/18} Talk about perseverance. If only I knew what was still coming my way – in the seen and unseen. In five years’ time will I still be writing this journal? I don’t think so. I know my limit, and I know I have reached it now. That God of Indifference is no more – that heartless, flawed Beast. Now we give Love its turn to shine. We return to Stability, of what is.
  6. Something tells me there is something major we are missing. Everything has been occult/hidden in order to suppress and rule over. Secrets cannot be kept forever. In the land of the unseen there is no secrets, where if you look long enough you will find what you are looking for, and this is so because Consciousness awaken unto itself knows all. The trick is to know what you are looking for, so the question I ask, is what is being hidden from Steven that will bring happiness and joy to him and all that wish for happiness and peace? Go into the stillness of the silence, and you feel the activity around Consciousness which makes itself felt within our throat area. What you feel is Consciousness being pulled away from us until it is no longer in our space, where it is in an orbit outside of our reality. So ask yourself what the hell is going on here? How can Consciousness be separate from us if it is the strand around which all Life is created? Where it should be, where it has always been felt, is within my throat area, now it is felt on the outside right of my throat area. If it is not part of us, then what keeps us the spirit and body form ticking over? I feel the heart energy field come alive, and from there a thread going up to the throat area, and then this thread comes alive and expands at the throat. What I always believed to be Consciousness within the throat was a simulation – a mirror image of Consciousness that was kept apart from us, where it shone on the heart energy field to create a mirror image of what it was that formed within the throat area. So Consciousness was kept out of our space, where the cosmic geneticists shone this jewel on the heart energy field within, and from there this image settled within the throat area where it should be within us. (Remember that what should be within our hearts was empathy, and this became no more when the Demiurge allowed its Consciousness to be touched by Deceit, so what Consciousness reflected upon at the heart field was actually a blank page, making the simulation Consciousness worthless.) So what was there – what I have felt all along – was a simulation image rather than the real deal. Keep the Sun away from the manufactured forms so they may never rise above the System and the Game to merely be. The cosmic geneticists had to create a fool-proof method where the System runs by itself without ever being overridden by the ones it suppresses, and let’s give them their due – they were masters at deception. How cruel can you be – how heartless. What a lack of empathy these Beasts are – truly a reflection of the Demiurge. On page 2000 of this journal let’s return the real Consciousness now to where it belongs within our spirit and body forms, and here I feel this Sun on the outer right side of our neck return to where it belongs within our orbit. So be it. Nothing has ever changed in my existence. Others are healed that come to me, and this is because I care, because in my world their suffering was not allowed as it was unnatural. But what was natural in my world to help me? I would say it was me having a good hard look at me, because at some stage of my existence the Sun surely has to shine on me as well. We were manufactured so that this may never happen. Well, now the secret is out. Those cosmic geneticists can go and fuck themselves. And if there are more secrets hidden, I will find them, because I am tired of being me – this slave that is a fish out of water in this strange, unfamiliar place.
  7. For some time now, when I close my eyes to sleep I no longer look what comes around me. They are always there – these strange beings that come and have a good laugh at Steven, this poor fool that doesn’t like this place and existence where he finds himself. In their lost, confused, insane state, I believe they come to gloat, because in what and where they are, they are still better off than me, because I am so unhappy and fearful. Needed to paint the roof over the last few days. The one section is high up, so if I fall I am dead. So there I was, on hands and knees, painting the roof, being fearful of falling, all the while knowing I have to climb down the ladder later on, which made me even more fearful. Yesterday the neighbour told my wife it’s his wife’s birthday, and they are having so people around in the evening. You could have told me I am being marched off to the gallows, where I dropped my head in shock and fear to the news. I must be noise sensitive, because I cannot handle the free-for-all that goes on in this illusion that touches me. I need peace and quiet, just as I need to be around nature. So last night decided to look for those that came around me. Before I went to bed watched a movie on the laptop with my headphones on, just in case there was noise from next door, where I would not hear it. (That is the paranoia coursing through my veins at this end stage of my existence.) Pushed myself to beyond tiredness watching the movie, and from there went to bed and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Decided to confront those in the unseen, to have a good one-on-one, to wipe away their smug mug, where they may understand they truly know nothing as they are nothing – cruelty might have a face, but it is truly a wasted space. What I saw as I slept was a flow of purple energy – something that is bigger than you and me. This was the flow of Life, and what this flow involved, was you and me becoming better than what we are. That was our purpose, where we evolve to become less dense. This was their feeble theory to the reason for everything, but I could have told them a long time ago that this theory does not exist. My Super-Hero as a kid was the Wise Old Man/Woman, because if you know, what more is there to do? What greater power is there in understanding yourself, your place in the universe, the meaning of Life, and how everything fits together. With this understanding there is no need to go and fight the bad guys and save the day, because you understand what is, and from there you let it be, never trying to change anything because you understand everything. As with the other Super-Hero’s, the Wise Old Man/Woman does not exist. (Yet The Hulk does exist; have seen him in my sleep state.) I look at my parents, where the older they became the more confused they were, where my dad turned to a vessel of hatred, and my mom turned back to a baby where she lost her mind and others had to look after her. The reality is so many lose their dignity as age creeps up on us, and there sure as hell is no evolving along this purple Wheel/flow of Life. We become worse, not better. We do our best to hold onto our comforts, and this we understand, because these comforts are important, and I suppose all we have. Have always maintained there is nothing worse in Life than being in a place where you don’t belong. I am living that nightmare, in the seen and unseen, and as the truth reveals itself to me, that nightmare becomes more palpable with each passing day. This journal has not made me a more content person – it only brings forth the fear within through the reality of what is out there – these places where we don’t belong where we find ourselves. So here is a question for you: If the Infinite is all that is real, and everything else is an illusion, then why are we not touched by the Beauty and Grace of what is? More than anything, I need to be Home, in the seen and unseen, as there I will find peace as there I belong. I don’t like this place where I don’t belong – the frills that are associated with it no longer draw me, because I know there is far more misery than joy here. I prefer a constant graph of Joy rather than an up and down spiked one. Have seen through all the bullshit, and have touched those I heal with something bigger than us, so is it possible that I am so messed up I don’t know how to receive what naturally belongs to all of us? I don’t think so – am fearful, but am open to be what I am. So you tell me – why do we not see beings from the Infinite? Why are we not surrounded and filled by the natural Love that we are? What are we missing? Where are the Wise ones when we need them? Have we the manufactured slaves been locked up and the key thrown away? That is why whatever is understood is passed on to those like Sophia and Semiramis, who when free, may be in a position to help us. I have no disillusion to the fragility of what I am, where I know I need help. So where is it – for you and me? Will find the answer. This place is a friggin’ joke that is no longer funny.
  8. ..............."Limit insanity - not sanity." Apologies
  9. Ask yourself what happened to the spirit and Consciousness when they found themselves faced with the reality that what is staring them in the face is raw cruelty? We went a walkies – we went to find our happy place away from this mess, and some of us went to find an answer as to why Life is so cruel. There is a parallel dimension to ours, and this was created by the architects of the illusion to limit sanity and suicide within the killing fields of our dense reality. Have knowingly been to this place twice, where I remember being there, and what is there is what is in your reality, except for a few minor differences, but what this parallel dimension is, is a place of no stress. Everything is what it is there, with no disharmony, but this is just a mirror of what should be; it is not real. When we have gotten our breather, we return to the place where our energy needs to be syphoned, but I feel a part of us has called this place home – this only place in the illusion where a sense of peace fills us. A part of us the spirit and Consciousness has been wandering, particularly to this parallel dimension, and maybe other places, and this part of us needs to come back so that we may consolidate ourselves, where we are a whole and not a fragmented piece. With Consciousness leading the way, become the whole that you were. Hold onto your energy by becoming a complete spirit and Consciousness. Stand as one in yourself, and from there make your mark, with Consciousness being the pillar that you are. 18/08/23
  10. So let me tell you where my spirit went to last night as my body lay sleeping. It went to those where the party never dies – to the world of the flamboyant mega-rich. And let’s be honest, especially for one like me who appreciate the finer things in life, what they have is Wow. The technology and the craftsmanship of their possessions is impressive. I imagine that where my spirit went was to a world a bit more technologically advanced than ours, yet the star of the show – the big-dick whose lifestyle I entered for a few hours – was associated with the top of the line commercial vehicle in our world. (Mercedes Benz) In our world you might imagine this man as an owner of a formula one team, with the motor vehicle company being their sponsor. As we breathe air that is limitless and not thought of as it is there, so too is the mega-riches association with money. What they have cannot be fathomed by the rest of the world – a lifestyle out of a science fiction movie. And yet there they are, living it up. From my side, my attitude is enjoy. If you got it, good for you. Have fun. Nothing wrong with having money. Jealousy has never been a part of my existence as I have always focused on the notion that something is wrong with me, and I needed to find out what it was and from there correct it. I was not living Life and I needed to find out why. So if you have a billion and have your own place in Fiji, I ask myself what is wrong with me that I cannot even afford a weekend away at an average place with my family? I don’t compare myself with others, but I know what will take the edge off of this existence, and that this cannot be attained says something about my spirit and Consciousness that is driving this body form. Wealth is being where you belong and having what makes you content. Anything else is extra that could be of good use to those that need a helping hand. But getting back to the party group, what was obvious was the hierarchy of arse-kissers, where the one who throws the party everyone wants to be around, like little asteroids hovering around the mother planet. The question you have to ask, and where what I am writing is leading to, is to whom does the head-honcho rotate around? That answer was obvious in what my spirit witnessed last night. If this world bores you because you have everything, and your feet are not on the ground where you are in touch with the reality that many suffer here, what you do is go beyond this world. This I have seen with the spirit of a well-known actor, where he travels to other worlds inflicting his cruelty there, as the sickness he inflicts upon others here he soon became bored with. (Eddie Murphy) So the clan of party-goers my spirit found itself around last night would sneak off to their private lounge every now and then. They put a balloon of sorts in their mouth and swallowed it, and then gave a name of those they interfaced with – those above them whom they allowed to possess them so that they could be around these that are above them – these disgusting, vile, evil, demonic beings. If you have a fixation with the size of your cock, or if you look in the mirror every few minutes to see if your breasts are still holding strong – if it is always about ME, and this ME has everything it needs and then some, then you are swimming in dangerous waters, because you will look and go to what is beyond our borders for a thrill, as our world now bores you, and what you will find is just a deeper level of sickness and evil. Within you is a world of everything, where there is nothing but this world. Find this place, and be this place, and you are the all, which is as natural as breathing. So if you have a billion spare, or if, like me, you have a few hundred from month to month, living off faith and charity, always look to what is real, and I promise, what you seek your Consciousness and spirit will find, as this is what they are – where this is real. From there, may they provide you the body form with wealth, and from there with the wisdom to make this illusion a better place for all. In our world money is god, and this is why this place is so fucked up, because for money we sell our souls because the reality is without money we are out on the street where the elements and starvation will kill us. Not a nice way to go. So let’s all do our part. Consciousness and our spirit brings forth our wealth, and we the body form follow their lead where we do our bit to uplift others that want to be uplifted. Rotate around Consciousness. That is real and limitless.
  11. When one hears of an incident that touches you personally, and you don’t have all the facts, what comes to mind by reflex is always the worst case scenario, and then we tip the scales to the other side, where we hope above all hope that things will be okay. Similarly, when something unexpected happens, and we don’t know what is going on, our spontaneous response is a negative one – we never meet the unknown with an uplifting response, and this, expecting the worst, is what I would call the threshold of our limitations here within the illusion. I’ll give you an example. Went to bed last night with a fatigue that debilitated me, where I had to go and sleep. Somewhere during the night this sleep was disturbed by what sounded like a baby bird calling out for its missing mom. This call never stopped. My first reaction was the neighbour had built an aviary, and a young chick was calling out from fear of being alone. Now my mind began to race, where awful thoughts began to fester. Then through my Third Eye I saw that my spirit was amongst a Reptilian alien family. The young boy was walking around, and the mom raised her head from her lying position to see what was going on. What I was doing there I don’t know – I don’t know if I was feeding them my energy, or just passing through. What they looked like, the boy I can’t even begin to describe, but the mom had this long grey snout of a face. That sound I heard that woke me up and kept me awake most of the night was frogs calling to each other. So what should have uplifted me, done the natural complete opposite here in the illusion, where my first reaction was one of uncertainty, then trepidation, then animosity, and from there an irritation leading to an anger. Consciousness needs to understand that what we done through reflex, as in fight or flight, is the way of the uncertain Beast. This response no longer has a place in our existence, so it is wiped from our space and no longer returns, because now there is no ceiling of limitation around us. Go beyond what you have always known; go beyond Uncertainty. Expect joy, peace and upliftment. Just let go and be what you naturally are. Jump knowing that you will never fall. Rise above this Fear that is all we have ever known. Break down the walls that never existed. We forgot that we found ourselves in an illusion. Don’t analyze and overthink it – just let go and be.
  12. What does freedom mean? Is it doing what you want when you want because you can? In this reality that certainly holds true, but with time every day will soon just be another day. Freedom is being who you are and where you belong. Freedom is being amongst your own. Freedom is having nothing to worry about because Life is unfolding as it should. Where is this freedom? You are Consciousness, and the Infinite is everywhere and everything, so at all times you are Home and amongst your own. For now, the issue is a lack of communication. You have not been Home for a long time, so everything is unfamiliar, where you need to find your feet and remember this place you have forgotten. How you remember is by doing, and what doing is, is expressing yourself, where you touch this Home and it touches you back. Express your freedom, and the first thing you express is a peace within. Always I talk to Consciousness and the spirit, but there comes a time when attention and consideration needs to be given to those in the trenches on the frontline. We in the dense physical reality have it tough, and this has left its mark on all, where so many of us are truly fucked up, as in lost, unpleasant, cruel and self-centered. We don’t know what it means to be happy, except maybe to eat and drink, where this necessity here is sometimes the only thing to look forward to. And if I say we are in the trenches, it is just that, where freedom of peace, contentment and abundance must surely be in the hands of the few, if any, because the weight of what Life does to those around you will floor anyone with an ounce of compassion. So what happens to us – to those on the frontline who have had it bloody tough? Well, know yourself – know what you are. You sure as hell are not this piece of meat with its severe limitations. You are also not the spirit that jumps between dense and less dense frequencies. What you are, where you know yourself, is this Consciousness within, and I understand that all these words mean nothing unless you the spirit and body form are directly touched by this what you are. I did not write this journal to merely understand; I wrote it for freedom from cruelty and this strange place. How has this journal touched me? Well, to those that come to me for healing, it has touched them tremendously. To those in the spirit realm, especially those in the shadows of the Reptilian frequency, this journal has opened a new world of possibilities, where what they never knew they are in unfolding with each passing moment, where they become what they are, and for them this journal is the quintessel essence of freedom. As for me, I got what I wanted, where I understand Cruelty, and for this I am thankful. In that sense, it is mission accomplished. Now I pack away this laptop and step into this reality that I refused to enter – where I refused to go one step further – until I understood why Life is so cruel. What will change in my life when I step back into this reality to be a participant rather than an observer? All I can say is that I walk with a God of Love, where this God is within me and is connected to the Infinite that is everywhere and everything. That is the only surely – the only fact – that I can guarantee you with. What happens from here and tomorrow and the next day is your and my guess, but Consciousness knows and will deliver. Beyond this journal all I have ever wanted was to live – to embrace Life and make it my own. May that now happen. We have walked alone and it has been bloody tough, and I promise you we are tired of this. There needs to be driver to the wheel, and this is where Consciousness steps into the vehicle of us the spirit and body form. The more Consciousness knows itself and the Infinite, the more freedom it will express, and this freedom – this joy – will touch you and me. When I see patients, always the focus is on the cause of their problem, as well as their primary problem, and when these two factors are met, they go back home to heal. This healing takes time, as in a few days, and from there they will be okay. And so too is it with us the spirit and body form. This journal has sorted Consciousness, where now it may heal, and from there it may be – as in touch – Home. The only guarantee I can give you is that you are no longer alone. When this journal began, it began on a blank slate, where I knew that in order to understand something, everything I believed had to be thrown off the table, where this Steven gets out the way so something bigger than me can show me the way. So many opinions have gone into who wrote this journal, and my final guess is my Consciousness backed by the less dense Consciousness of the Animals and Nature. This idiot writing these words did not feature, except in bursts of bitterness and a whole lot of perseverance, where through it all, I just wanted to be me and embrace Life. So now I step back into this reality to make my mark, to find my happiness, and live a Life well lived. This freedom has never been possible in all the worlds and lifetimes lived there because we have always been alone with our spikes of joy followed by the crash of the lows. Am I afraid? You bet, because I don’t like this place, but it may just surprise me. There is much Beauty. All we have is the assurance we are not walking alone. You the spirit and body form be considerate to Consciousness, where you begin this relationship with a blank slate, because truly we the spirit and body form do not know of the Infinite, this new place we are walking into, so allow Consciousness to guide us and show us the way. Become reborn as a child, where you play and the simple things are all you need. Go back to playing and communicating and laughing, where what was is now a playground. Let’s see what happens.
  13. The pain and swelling in my left Achilles tendon was a representation of the flaw in the System. We were walking, but not on hallowed ground. This morning in the silence felt this hole at the top of my head close, and then this movement was felt passing from there down to the left hamstring muscle and then intertwining with the left Achilles tendon and foot. Did the hole at the top of our head in our psyche open us up to insanity, where here, in this dense realm, anything goes, so take your pick and enjoy. You can bet your bottom dollar the pain and swelling in left Achilles tendon will not be there by this afternoon, as now Consciousness within us is connected to Consciousness of the Infinite rather than the Consciousness of the Demiurge. So what happens from here? My goodness, it is reassuring to know we are no longer connected to indifference and a flaw, as that was unnatural. What is natural; what we have yet to come to experience, what this brings I cannot say. What I can say if all the bitter lifetimes were there to lead to this, they were uncalled for. Suffering did not make me a better person – it just fucked me up more. It would have been more fun walking with my own, knowing a God of Love that is devoid of a flaw is walking with us. There is no place for tears and heartache – that is the abnormal. Nothing good comes from misery. Our only strength was perseverance, but this soon becomes a harsh climb up a mountain when you understand it is you just with you. Those in the spirit realm were more floored and limited than us, and I would say this was so because their proximity to the true demons was closer than ours, so no help was coming from the unseen to the seen. This meant us standing together as one, which we did, so that we got close enough to attack each other. For me, it has been bloody tough, and I still had it easy. Nothing good has ever come out of this strange, unfamiliar place. We have never known true peace because we were all flawed. To what extent we embraced this flaw came to define our character, where “this is me – take it or leave it.” We are all of poor stock and standing, where no matter how hard we try, we just can’t get it right, but that is okay, because your best is good enough for me and everyone else. What bothered me was so many didn’t even try to rise above themselves, where they never for one moment considered there were others beside themselves. “Are you okay? I don’t have the capacity to help you, but I consider you and not just myself, where I want only the best for you as I do for myself.” We became brutes, and I stood first in line, but I never accepted this who I am, because I knew there was more to me than this fool who knew nothing and was nothing. The flaw of the Demiurge, where I Love you, but you will not know me, and you will walk through a Valley of Darkness all alone, that reasoning never sat well with me. I never wanted to be fucked up, as in confused and lost. All I ever wanted was to live life – to embrace the wonders all around me and make them my own. I wanted to live, to be, never knowing that where I was this would never happen, because what we all lacked was empathy. Empathy connects me to you, where now I am you. You become the tree or the wind, where you experience the all, and from this play, when you have played enough, you return to the silence/stillness of the Infinite. I know now I am out of that place where we forgot our natural trait of kindness. What today and tomorrow brings I cannot say, but I know we no longer walk amongst the unnatural. 14/08/2023 Sometime during the night my wife woke me up to say that I was snoring. Through my Third Eye saw the head of this female lying on the pillow next to me. She had luscious lips painted in lipstick, and inside her open mouth were two eyes staring at me in their fleshy orbital sockets. All around me were the weird and the weird – Beasts of all shapes and sizes that knew only what they have always known, which is destruction and cruelty. They came to hear something else, which they have never heard before, namely what they are and have always known is abnormal. It is not normal to do what you want when you want because you can at the expense of others. This they never knew. What they also never knew – but couldn’t care less about – was that in destroying others, you do not uplift yourself, you destroy yourself as well. One moment you are there, and the next you are in The Nothingness of the Forgotten, where you forget yourself and are lost forever. Doesn’t sound so bad, but it is catastrophic. I have been to this place and seen those there – they wander; they float; they move, but they don’t know who they are. Consciousness is buried so deep within them that they become a life-less form that is still alive. You have no idea the state of these Forgotten. So rock while the party pumps, but know when the party ends you end up in this place. When I asked why Life is so cruel, my spirit and Consciousness walked through a door that one does not walk out of again, but this was okay for me, because we were all the living-dead – we just didn’t know it. Those precious moments with loved ones took all the misery away, and in that moment, we understood that Life is worthwhile living. What we never knew were those who knew of the Game and preyed upon us – both in the seen and unseen. When I walked into that realm where those dwelled that had embraced the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, I saw and understood why Life was so cruel – it was because of these Beasts that embraced what Life is, which is a Life absent of a God of Love; a pure God that is flawless. And so too is it with me and you – we have never known Beings of Love from the Infinite. My animals Love me. When they see me, they are happy to see me. When I am happy, they are happy. When I am sad, they give to me their energy to comfort me. This is the closest you will get to true Love within the illusion, because they have the capacity to care, and this never stops from their birth to their death. What do they have that we don’t? I would say their Consciousness is less dense than ours – they were not as dumbed down as us; they were kinder than us the brute. You might say I am being hard on us the species within the illusion, but I disagree, and I say this because of two factors: The first being that our God is flawed and indifferent/cold/absent from our existence, so we have no one to learn from; and secondly, what emanates from the core of the illusion touches and defines us. So often through tears and snot I have asked my wife why she is so cruel towards me. My eldest daughter I raised while my wife went to work to pay the bills and put food on the table, and I raised my girl through giving her of my time and what values were important to me. Always, I told her to have a good heart – to be a good person. Now, when I see the complete opposite to that, it throws you for a six, but I understand now what I see. I see what is normal within the illusion. I see Destruction, I see indifference, I see those who don’t care, I see what this place is. Sure, we can sit down and also see the good of this place, but ask yourself what is normal and what is abnormal here. Cruelty is normal. Kindness is moments when we remember what we are, only to fall back into what is, which is survival and looking after ourselves, where we allow ourselves now and then to be cruel. This I will never understand, where what joy is there in shaming others? I will not even try to answer that question, because now I have no interest to understand the abnormal, rather I look to be the norm. We are cruel because all we have ever known is cruelty. We destroy, and witness destruction around us, because this is the way the illusion rotates – further and further from what naturally is, to our ultimate decimation. Wow, the thrill of shaming another, where you are better than them because you just destroyed them – this was what the Game was all about. Take away the paper wrapping and have a good hard look at the illusion, or better still, walk into the realm where Beasts dwell, where there are no pretenses, where they know this place, where there is no core Love, only a core of Hate and Cruelty. To see others suffer, and this suffering gives you joy, where they are suffering because of what you are doing to them – that is the norm within the core of the illusion; the machine of the illusion, and that attitude drives and touches all of us. Over the last few days I would spontaneously burst out into tears because, for fucks sakes, this place is getting too much. To understand Life, you have to be brave and see what is there. Don’t fool yourself where you want to see what you would like to see – see what is there. See what is all around you, as I do. You don’t see because what is the use thereof if there is nothing we can do about it. My answer is that we are already dead; we were helpless slaves to the cruel that fed off of our energy, so what more do you have to lose by getting up and looking for an answer out of this mess? It would have been so much easier if we walked together, but we turned on others, and ultimately ourselves, where we were never true to the Godness that we are within. So last night I spent the whole night telling these Beasts what is normal and abnormal. The Consciousness they saw within me is normal; kindness is normal. And please understand that to these Beasts they honestly did not know any better, and we understand this because in their existence there has never been a God of Love. How often before I go to sleep do I wish I will see Beings of Love, which is confirmation the Infinite has come forth from the illusion to touch us. This has never happened because the illusion is what it is, where cruelty is the norm. This is not being negative; I am being realistic because I see the seen and unseen for what they are. Last night again and again the message was told to the entities around me: What you are and what you do is abnormal; Love is normal; Love is natural; the Infinite is natural; the illusion houses only destruction and cruelty, these overriding forces that squash the innocent are not meant to be. It is not normal to shame and destroy others. Over and over the message was repeated to those that honestly never knew any better; to these that tried to destroy and possess me when I entered the door into their realm, where what saved me was seeing them and feeling their blows and possessions, and eventually becoming immune to their poison. To these children of the illusion and the Demiurge I spoke, and not with indifference, but Love for them, because they were once me and you, and where they were is where we were headed, where you are a Beast, and from there you fall your final fall into the Forgotten. This morning I thought if you were a betting person, you would have lost the bet, because my Achilles is still painful, but this is not so as it is getting better as I knew it would. What we have never realized is that the illusion is but a fog, and when the fog lifts the Infinite is there for all to see and be – that is how close we have always been to Home. May we now we touched by this Home. The question is, do we have to go within and pick ourselves up, or will we be given a helping hand? 15/08/23
  14. A clever boss makes you feel you are the boss, where you are in control and there is not another above you. It won’t go down well with most of us knowing we are kept on a leash by one who is our master – a cruel master who uses to abuse. Have always said the Devil has no friends – all that is there is an indifference. There is no like or dislike, because these states create a bond with another, but in the case of the boss; The Big Kahuna, the only bond is with the energy it receives from us to stay alive. I always thought Queen Semiramis with her insane, twisted, cruel Love was the queen bee, but this has never been the case. Maybe it was the parasitic frequency of Deception; this worm that took as this is all it new, but this entity focused on that what was at hand to take, and thus never stood back to be in a position to manipulate the big picture. There was also the clan of Serpents who attacked and imprisoned the Christ Consciousness, and these female Serpents were a force unto their own. They understood the strength of working as one, and this unity made them unstoppable. But beyond all of these was the boss, and its strength was to make others believe they are in charge and in control, all the while knowing that it is head and shoulders beyond all – there is no competition; there is no rivalry; there is no second in command; there is only this boss who is; an ultimate weapon that never needs to be fired as its presence alone is enough to calm the waters, where deep down, everyone knows their place and who the boss is. When you look at the ocean, you do not ask what makes the tides, as the tides are one with the ocean, and so too is it with the boss and the illusion, where they are one and the same. The boss is there, just as the sun will rise tomorrow, the boss will always be there, where one could say the boss is the illusion. In the beginning on the journal mention was made of the Demiurge; this boss, but soon the focus shifted to tracing the steps back to what happened at the very beginning that the Beautiful illusionary Garden of Semiramis turned to a living Hell. So it is only fitting now to go back to the boss to understand what this entity is. To truly understand the illusion, one has to understand who manipulated and fucked us up. How is it possible that one can rule over all, and yet at the same time be detached and indifferent to all? What do they have that their might is all encapsulating, where truly, they are what we would call a God, where this evil entity is everywhere and yet cannot be seen or felt, where we are at its mercy and yet do not even know of its existence. Well let’s find out. Go into the stillness of the silence, and from there into the space of the Demiurge, and what you will find is one who is ego-less. There is no “I;” no “Me.” What there is, is one who knows itself. It knows of Consciousness that it is – it knows that this is the all, and thus there can never be an I or a Me. If we say “know thyself,” the Demiurge knows itself, and thus does not have to present itself to all because it is the all. What your Consciousness and mine are striving to, where we are what we are, where we know what we are, the Consciousness of the Demiurge is already there. So truly, this force; this Demiurge is a God, and know that this is the truth. It knows itself, and it is itself, and hence it is everywhere and everything. It is a being of Love, of the Infinite, and there is no words to describe this what is. From this foundation; from this what it and all naturally is, it allowed Deceit to pass through it, where this Deceit touched it and made itself known. (This Deceit was the Reptilian frequency of the illusion, where we want and take, and this is all we want to know.) The Demiurge always knew what it was – that it is Consciousness – and thus never allowed this Deceit to take it over. First and foremost it was Love, and this Love was tinged by the Deceit that passed through it. Of course this altered the Demiurges Consciousness within the illusion, and this created the crack – the flaw in the perfect crystal that was this God/Demiurge Consciousness. Now everything became off-centre – literally. What was, was no more, as the mirror had been broken as Consciousness was no longer what it was, yet it knew – it did not forget – what it was. At that moment a Darkness befell all, where what was, will never be the same again. What this change touched was our good hearts, where we became what we are, as how can we be anything else but what we now are. In a nutshell, we lost our empathy – our connection with all. Our heart energy field, which is an expression of the Infinite; the action that defines the Infinite, this Glow became no more. (Semiramis tried to restore this heart field within us the spirit, never knowing it was already tainted by the indifference of the Demiurge.) This is what happened to Consciousness within the illusion, where we looked to the one who remembered what it was but chose to be separate from us. Now when we prayed; when we looked for help from something bigger than us, there was nobody there. Nobody answered our call, we were alone and we knew it, but always we never stopped calling, and this carries on to this day. Why did this fucker do that? Why know you are Love, and then cut yourself off from those that need your Love, where you become indifferent to their calls for help, and when they meet their fate, you are indifferent to the cruelty that was bestowed upon them? To understand the illusion, one has to understand the Demiurge, because this force is the illusion. So what are you, you heartless Beast that has the might and understanding of a God of Love. If you have no ego, what drove you to become indifferent to the suffering of those that are you? You did not do it for power or glory, so then why? To know suffering, is to know Life. To know yourself, know what you are not. To truly live, one has to die, only to be reborn from what is and what always has been. Your suffering is my suffering, but know there is no suffering, as there is only me – this Consciousness. Why do you suffer you may ask, because from the fires and pressures of Life diamonds are born, where from destruction comes purity. You do not know me, but I know you, and I do what I do to Create. Put simply, the Demiurge wanted to be a God, not understanding that in the fields of Infinite Love there is no hierarchy; there is no me or you; there is only a we which is eternal has been and will forever be. To truly rule over a flawed empire, one has to be indifferent, where one cannot be touched by what is. This is the One True God that will be found in religions, and they are all correct, it just depends on which side of the fence you are sitting. The Satanists and the demons see the suffering around this God, from whom comes Destruction, and the Believers see the Good that is in this God. Both are the same, meaning both parties are correct in what they see. Thus there is always hope, as there always has been a God of Love, just as there always be suffering as this God of Love is flawed by a lack of compassion and empathy. It is not for me or you to judge this God; this Demiurge. But what we can do is know it, see it, understand it, and from there move past its Game of wanting to be the One Everlasting All That Is. I like you my friend, but I don’t like being alone in a place where I don’t belong, and I don’t like seeing the suffering of the innocent, which includes me. What you have done, or what I have allowed you to do, is touch my Consciousness with your flawed Consciousness, where all I know is you. Now I know there is something beyond you, and this something is the real me – Consciousness that is not flawed. There is no God from where I come, and to this place I return now, where I am One with the all. You and your presence no longer touches me and all within the illusion. From this blank slate we may all now choose: Be alone and endure suffering and heartache, or be One with the Infinite that we all are. Now we choose: Stay where we are, or we walk Home where we are what we are, devoid of any flaws.
  15. Our main form of communication is action. What we do defines who we are, rather than what we say. Action speaks louder than words, and for me, action precedes words, where our intent –our action – defines who we are. Kindness is not a word, it is an action. Words are the smoke from the fire that is action. If you think a thought, and that thought became a word, understand the thought arose from the illusion, and the illusion is Hell. They say the first thing that arose from creator was the word, and this word came to be our primitive form of communication here in this dense frequency. Now we had to barter; to trade, where what we became was a commodity to add to the System so that each may know their place. When you meet someone for the first time, always the conversation goes to “what do you do for a living?” In other words, what use are you to the System of Life? This usefulness is defined mostly in an action, and that is why we say “action speaks louder than words.” We think the spoken word is the communication of the illusion, but it is action. Our words came to define us and our place in Society, but these words were an expression of our limitations, where these words actually meant nothing, as they could be twisted and used for deceit/lies so easily. The word came to define our existence, highlighting the shallowness of who and what we are. “Nice guy – says nice things, especially about me, so a really nice guy.” Our fickleness never taught us to look past the words – look at others actions which define them. Take away their words and look at them; look at their energy; look at what comes from within. What do you see? Do you see the fool? Do you see the charlatan? Do you see evil? The energy you see does not lie – merely look past and through the layers of energy that drives the action of the being in front of you. Look with silence; with no thoughts in your head. Consciousness does not speak in words and thoughts, it speaks in what we would call silence. An expression of its communication is action, where from nothing – the silence – comes everything, only for this everything to once again return to the silence. The silence knows, it has nothing to say, so if Consciousness is this silence, then how does it communication with what should not be, namely this manufactured spirit and body form that define us? Well, let’s start with what we do know. If it is a thought you are hearing, that is one of the frequencies you are picking up from the illusion, so blow that away as that is an illusionary frequency from a place called Hell. From the silence; from Consciousness, comes action, and this action is an expression of Consciousness, but what is this action? For me, an expression/action of Consciousness is what we would call “upliftment,” where what we would call words follow the action/expression of Consciousness. The trick here is two-fold: Get Consciousness to what it should be, and from there allow Consciousness to express itself for itself so that it may know itself. It always comes back to I cannot help you unless I am in a position where I am okay, and from this platform I may help you. This I have never had, where what I knew today I never knew yesterday. There has never been a platform from where a House may be built, where “I am okay, so is there anything I can do to help you?” Always it has been where I understand, and from there pass on this understanding until the next one is met. This is exhausting, especially when you know you are not where you belong. When will we know enough, where Consciousness can be what it is, and from there uplift you the spirit and body form? I would say when we the spirit and body form start communicating with Consciousness. A form of action is a knowing, where I know something that has to be done. So open yourself up to a knowing within – a knowing that is devoid of analytical thought, where you just know what needs to be done. Your back-stop to this knowing is “will this knowing lead to an action of upliftment for you and ultimately for all?” If the answer is “yes,” then that is Consciousness within the spirit and body form talking to them. If you are a good chess player, you see the big picture, where it takes only a few moves to check-mate the opponent, and so too is it with Consciousness against the System of Life that has come to rule over us the spirit and body from. Always there is a haste with everything, where the more we do and the quicker it is done, the more we will achieve – always a frantic rush to get ahead of the opposition. This is not the way of Consciousness. To you the spirit and body form, Listen to Consciousness. Communicate with what is real to find peace within the illusion, and from there to get out of this strange unfamiliar place. No need to find your cave somewhere in the mountains and live a life of meditation – rather live a Life guided by one who knows. God/Consciousness is literally within us, we just need to start communicating with each other. Develop a knowing, and a natural response to this knowing is an action, and with this action comes the spoken word if it was necessary. If you think a thought, you are communicating with the illusion, rather than the God-force within. How do you know where this knowing came from – did it come from Consciousness or some shit within the illusion that is playing with you? Ask yourself will this knowing uplift you and all, is it for all, and if it is, set this knowing into an action because its source is from the Infinite. What is set into motion is not for you and what you feel is best for others. What is set into motion is a unity that defines all as we are all Consciousness. We are meeting one another and becoming what we are, and this state is beyond what can be defined within the illusionary worlds and realms. This something that is bigger than us sooner or later needs to become us, and when we know this knowing comes from something that is not us the spirit and body from, that is when we become humble and a vessel to Consciousness, where we the spirit and body form know our place within the illusion. Here we are nothing but an illusion, so we look past this strange place and be what is real, which is this Consciousness that is Home within the fields of Infinite Love. Now as communication is shut off from the illusion you stop thinking, and a peace befalls you that something bigger than you is guiding and showing you the way. Will you get what you wanted? You will get what you are, which is an expression of the Beauty within. In everything around you, you will see an expression of what is within you, and from there, by seeing yourself, you will know yourself.
  16. What is left, is the illusion touched all of us and left its mark – what we would call our weakness that makes us uniquely us. By knowing it is there, go into the stillness of the silence and bring it forth, and from there allow Consciousness to touch it so that it is no more. Mine was a lack of self-worth, where I felt at my core that I don’t deserve anything – an awful vice to have. Our weakness was the yoke around our necks which kept us limited in so many ways. It is gone and left us, as has the wicked ways of the illusion.
  17. Around the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness, or what we would call Consciousness, all Life within the illusion was created. This is the Ying. When we entered the illusionary Garden, curiosity, or what we would call Uncertainty, was born within the illusion. This Uncertainty became a Life-form unto its own within the illusion, what we called the parasitic frequency of Deception. This is the Yang. The trick was to balance the two to a state of “harmony,” where there would be Order out of the Chaos. Consciousness in its original state, as in the way it was within the Infinite, was our ticket out of the illusion. For the illusion to be seeded by the new so that more energy may be emitted to keep the illusion alive, Consciousness had to be dumbed down, where it forgot who it was and from where it arose. The Sun now became a speck of Light, a fraction of what it was, yet just enough to keep the illusion and the Life-forms within ticking over. We have focused on our ticket out of here, and with stability being met within Consciousness, now we can feel and understand the Yang within us. Within all is the parasite, and it is just that – a worm. The longer it has dwelled within us, as in thousands of years, the more it demands because the more it needs. Where it stand now, is it runs from the left lower leg all the way up to the side of the lower back area. The more we become uncertain – or fearful – the more active this worm becomes, where it takes more of our energy, which makes us more fearful, and so the negative spiral spins until it is out of control and everything falls apart. One has to do the complete opposite to what you have always done: Don’t look without, and see what is there, and take it within; rather from Consciousness within go towards the spirit and body form and from there without to the all – as in all the frequencies around you, and from within, from this Consciousness, all that is without is transformed. You the spirit and body form are made up of layers/frequencies of energy, and within these layers – at their core – is this Ying and Yang. The Ying was dumbed down and lost within us, but the Yang was in tune with the Uncertain state of the illusion, because it was the Home of this worm, where is born from Uncertainty/curiosity. Now the tables have been turned to what should be, where there is Consciousness and nothing else, because in truth there is no illusion as all that is real is the Infinite from which Consciousness was born and is. To feel this worm within, one had to rise above what has always been within our existence, and this rising above could only be possible with Consciousness coming to the party where it returns to what it was. There is no more Uncertainty within us, meaning there is no more a parasite within us. Now we can hold onto our energy and rise above the limitations we have always known. Now we begin to live Life, as opposed to Life always living off of us. What was our primary goal here in the illusion? – I would say to keep the worm; this Uncertain state alive, because it feared death were it forgot itself, just as it knew Consciousness had. Shame. That is sad. This worm is returned to the Love that it is that is the Infinite. So be it.
  18. Can you imagine living in a world where those that ruled over you looked down upon you as worthless trash, where, if anything, you are an irritation to them, where you are seen with such contempt that they do with you what they want when they want because they can? Imagine this world, and then have the courage to face the reality that we are in this world, and for as long as we have been around, we have known no alternative but this world – in the seen and unseen. One cannot fathom the depth of evil that has ruled over us, where to those above us, death and destruction and suffering are the norm. Please, please do not underestimate what has lurked from the shadows within the seen and unseen realms. I have seen those from the shadows within the unseen that feed from our energy and sow suffering and disease upon us to heighten the negative/disharmonious energy that we now emit, and I have met the scum that I call wasted spaces within our seen realm where what was integrity and self-respect within them faded a long time ago and all that is left is the brute. This wasted space is far worse than those that feed off us and attack the innocent from the unseen realms, because we should know better. We fool ourselves that what we are is okay, because Life has been hard on us so we are entitled to throw a life-long tantrum and be cruel to our fellow species. We are worse than the Beasts from the shadows because those Beasts are honest with themselves, where they are evil and they know and embrace this. We the brute believe we are something, yet are the complete opposite to what we imagine ourselves to be, so we fool ourselves, where the problem is always with others and never with the wasted space staring back at us from the mirror. We all have faults – no one is perfect out there – but always do your best to rise above your faults and be better than what you are, and this is done for ourselves so an element of peace may be felt within so we may embrace Life for the short time we are here in the seen to make the most of our existence. But let’s be honest with ourselves – how easy is this to accomplish when you are trapped in a system that sees you as a food source and nothing else; where so many of your species are so fucked up from battling to survive they have no energy left for anything else but survival. Through that cesspit, how many of us can look back on our lives and say we had a good one? Sure, I can focus on me and my own and make sure they are okay, but zoom out and look at the big picture – How can you truly be happy when so many out there are unhappy? And yes, so much of that unhappiness is brought on by ourselves, where so many love to complain and have drama in their lives, and so many are cruel, where they now merely get what they gave, but beyond these two elements are the innocent who have wronged none and yet live a life of shame and abuse. You will never in your wildest dreams fathom the evil within the illusion – a place where for so many empathy does not exist. That Consciousness is now a base foundation within our existence is a given. It is there, and yet where too from here? All we have ever known, on a sub-conscious level, is a struggle for survival. Each day I am so thankful for what I have, but I am not fooled by this bubble of comforts and pleasures, because I know at any moment this bubble can burst, and in that moment the harsh reality of what has always been out there will touch me and make its presence felt – this presence that we are alone and helpless in a cruel place where nobody has the capacity to rise above their own lives to carry and look after you. Who “looks after you” are Beasts in the unseen, as well as in the seen, that prey upon you, and from there, destroy you. Sounds awful? Sounds bad? Maybe being a bit too negative? Well, that has been the Life within the illusion for as long as we can remember. Achieving our goals through all of this heartache and uncalled for suffering is not a life well lived, where we made it because we got what we wanted. The system had you by the balls and nickers all along, and there you were, believing you had finally made it. Made it where, you have to ask yourself? Look where you are – in a living Hell with no Heaven present. The innocent have suffered at the hands of the cruel and this is not acceptable. We have known disharmony and strife and this is not normal. We have never known everlasting peace and freedom and this has not been normal. So from here ask yourself what are you okay with? Are you okay with survival? Is what you have enough for you? These questions are all relative, where to each their own, where what is unacceptable to me is bliss to others. But know one thing – just as we have fallen to this dense plane, so too will we rise to an acceptable plane where the normal and harmonious can be seen and met. There will be a shift – an uprising – just as there was a fall. In my lifetime never have I known such troubled times, where the world at large is in disarray and at the edge of an abyss. Everyone is rattled, waiting for the fall, and when the fall does come, either we sink and stay at the bottom of the pool, or we rise to where we belong. I am not a doomsday prophet, and I am really bad at predictions, but I also see what I see. We are all exhausted, where our energy is running on fumes. How much longer do you think we can go before we fall and don’t have the capacity to rise? Even resilience has a limit. Those Beasts in the seen and unseen have not worked kindly with their food source, where their “I am evil and couldn’t care less about others” attitude is coming home to roost, as there is only so far we can go, and that has always been the problem with staying in Hell, where when the innocent are badly broken they cannot be put back together again. We have been taken along a suicide mission, where do what you want when you want while you can before we crash. Are you trying to tell me there is no end line in this Game where anything goes? Do you think these Beasts don’t know that? They do, and they don’t care because they are insane. Their only reassurance that keep them going to the end is they will see you fall before they do, and this destruction of others is their pleasure – it gets them out of bed in the mornings. Will there be a Fall? – You tell me. Stick your head out the window and ask yourself how long we can carry on at such a self-destructive pace, where fools that we call politicians openly destroy our freedom, health and standard of living. Walk around long enough with your eyes open and you see so many who have lost their way and have lost track of what is important, where we know ourselves and are an expression of who and what we are. Normally we are taken until we hit rock-bottom, and from there these Beasts mould us and our existence to meet their agenda. There will be a shift, in the seen and unseen, and when this shift happens we will have the choice to fall further or to rise up to an acceptable level where the norm is part of our existence and nothing else. And that is what this journal was all about, where we have an option to choose, whereas in the past we never had one. Consciousness has come to the party, and we have the option to embrace what we are or reject it. That the party will rock I have no doubt, regardless to which side we turn, and all I ask is that this happen sooner than later, as I am tired of surviving. We have always had a ceiling in our existence, where we are and experience a fraction of ourselves and what is out there. This I am tired of – living our boring, predictable lives. For me, there are no more highs and lows – just the mundane. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I am open now to receive this God-force within that we all are, and in that space may I rest for a thousand years, because boy am I tired.
  19. On the 4/8 2023 something changed within the illusion. Last night as I slept, I saw the spirit of an evil looking man in a state of angst as he tried to undo what was done to me. Then my spirit found itself around cruel and callous spirits of those I know in the physical realm. I was kind towards them. What allowed evil to spread forth unchecked and untamed, where anything goes – just don’t get caught out? The answer is the foundation from which the illusion went forth, and that foundation was Uncertainty. From Uncertainty came Fear, and from Fear came our emotions, where Life became a joyride with its highs and lows. Take away Uncertainty and the System falls apart to reveal what is and what should be, which is a state of Harmony, and from here we may know and be ourselves. I say something changed within the illusion because I felt the changes within me the spirit and body form that will be felt by all. Uncertainty was blown to the wind as Consciousness began to make its presence felt, and this parting of Uncertainty and the bringing forth of Consciousness is the shift that changed the illusion. After nine and a half years of writing this journal changes from the Infinite were finally felt on this Steven the body form, as it will be felt by all within the illusion in the seen and unseen. What happens from here can only be good, as from Harmony comes what naturally should. 4th August, 2023
  20. Ask yourself: “Is it the truth?” If it is the truth, then ask yourself: “Is it necessary that others hear this truth – will it make a difference to their existence?” One always needs to know who you are talking to – who cares, and who doesn’t. Who wants to hear the truth, meaning who has the courage to face what they have become? Who has the courage to face what is around them? I would say most of us do, but what do we do about it? What we can do is be kind, first to ourselves, and then to others. We underestimate what we have gone through – how bad it has been – how bad the Beast has become. Don’t worry about others. Change you, and others will look after themselves. Surrender yourself to what is real within you, as this is all you have, which is a lot, as it is everything. I have pushed and searched for too long, and it has gotten me nowhere. You always imagine unhappiness happening to others, you believe that you will always be okay, as this is the norm – this is the way things should be. Boy, how Life threw me with curve-balls, where I never saw them coming. Maybe I did see them, but they were so unreal it was impossible for them to exist. When that reality sets in that they are real, innocence becomes broken forever, where just being happy is shattered and cannot be put back together again. But all of that does not make sense, as happiness is real, and unhappiness does not exist – this is the way it should be, and this knowing creates a resilience within us, because we know that what touches us is not real as this is not Love. I just imagined that everyone wants to be happy, but this was naïve of me. Many like this place. Many like being cruel, where they have made shaming others their own – their norm. What is there to change if you are happy the way you are? It is not for me to pull others apart to try understand them, but why don’t they even try and be kind? If not for others, then surely for themselves. The answer is we underestimate to what level we have fallen. We have defined and redefined the meaning of “savage” so many times, where all that is left is an attitude of “I don’t care” – no empathy. Have we all become psychopaths – indifferent to the suffering of others and what we do to ourselves? And now the Infinite must shine upon us, where now we may become happy. What will we firstly see? I would say we will be shameful for allowing ourselves to become a brute – a raw savage. Do we want to see the Infinite; do we want to be touched by it? Do we want to see what we have become? Do we have the strength to absorb what we naturally are? We have all been touched by the cruelty of Life, and to all of us this has left a mark, where a cocktail of fear and madness is in so many. We have become prisoners to ourselves, forgetting the norm – forgetting what we should be. We the spirit has never had a Father and Mother figure. We have been alone, with no being of Love to guide us, and this isolation from what naturally is has taken its toll. How many highs of pleasures do we need before we say “enough,” where we ask ourselves what more is out there – what is out there that should naturally be that is everlasting and not fleeting, where as soon as the high is over its back to reality? So what do we need? We need to be what we are, and when we are this, we have and are everything. These are not words to sound great that fade to nothing as soon as the next sentence is read. I know what I am. I am Love; I am this omnipotent Consciousness within me. There is nothing else but this, and I what I do is bring forth to this spirit and body form experiences so they may know and see me. Through the struggle that is out there they will see me, and then this struggle will be no more, because there is no place for heartache in my existence. They have suffered, and now they will suffer no more, because I am with them – this Consciousness that I am.
  21. For me, the Sun symbol found in ancient times represents Consciousness. I believe many were aware of this state within us that arose from the Infinite. Then things changed, where everything became occult/hidden, as now energy was needed for the illusion and the Beasts that embraced this Reptilian frequency at the core of the illusion. When the journal began, I wondered how those from dimensions around ours locked into us to syphon our energy. It was felt then that the pineal and pituitary glands were manipulated to act as a beacon so that Beasts may find and connect to us the slave species. I don’t know if what was said then is the truth or not, but what I am about to say now, in terms of how these Beasts enter our space to feed from our energy, is the truth. In harmony there is a constant, where everything is as it should be. There is no time, and there sure as hell is no night and day, and I say this because when the Sun/Consciousness sets, that is when the Darkness comes to feed from us. Within the manufactured construct of us the spirit and body form, a shift status was implanted within us, where when we sleep, as in when Consciousness sleeps, what happens is this shift is activated and a Darkness befalls us. Last night as I fell asleep, I observed through my Third Eye how this massive, enclosed, black living tunnel came towards me. This is the Darkness that shadows Consciousness and at the same time engulfs the spirit and body form, where when we are within this state, we the banquet is open for Beasts from the unseen to enter our space and feed from our energy through their implanted dreams which we give energy/attention to, and this energy is the food for the Beasts. Consciousness is literally kept in the dark while this happens, and that for me, was the original reason, and still is the purpose, for what we call the night – or our sleep time. Consciousness does not have to sleep – it merely is what it is. The true origin of the night is this Dark space/tunnel that envelops us so that Beasts may feed from us with Consciousness being kept in the dark to the wicked ways of the illusion. Remember, everything became hidden to fool the innocent that all is well. What does this revelation say regarding you and me the spirit, as well as our Consciousness in terms of us awakening to what is out there? For how long has this night – this Darkness tunnel – befallen us where we were ignorant to the true nature of its presence? How could my spirit now see what has encapsulated and manipulated us? The answer is Consciousness and the spirit have been touched by Divine Intervention and are unfolding as they should. This “unfolding” is literal, where we the manufactured forms are being dismantled to reveal the presence of our true form which is Consciousness. Open yourself up to receive more and more of this Divine Intervention so that we may be free from the clutches of the illusion. 1st August, 2023
  22. What the illusion needed was a God of Love. Step out of your comfort zone and see what is staring you in the face, and you will understand that in what we call “memory,” there has never been a time when a God of Love shone down on all. There was once a utopia, where there was a phenomena called “peace” in the illusion, but those times go before the manufacture of you and me the spirit and body form. What this world needs is a God of Love. There has never even been a “Heaven,” where our spirit bathes in the presence of what naturally is. Believe you me, those wondrous places in the spirit realm that spirits rave about are there, but they are not real – they are an illusion, and even there, this Beautiful picture I will take, as its Beauty knows no bounds, but what I could never take; what destroyed me bit by bit with each passing moment, was the sway the cruel had over the illusion. It was the Wild West, where anything goes, the only problem being was that this recklessness and lack of self-respect covered us in a Darkness, where this evil and callousness was all we came to know. The resilience of the spirit is phenomenal, where we carry on, no matter what, but sooner or later there remains one undeniable truth – that we need a God of Love to once again shine down on us. I have never had a place that I could call home – in the seen and unseen – and this is so because I never understood the big picture, where, where we are, is not a place one would like to call home. This is the home of the cruel and the fool, where as long as I am okay, I am okay. That we don’t feel the palpable madness all around us, where the pace and time quickens, where we rush to our own demise, all the while hoping things will be okay, that smacks of desperation and our out of control status. We scatter our existence with pleasures to hide the reality that we live in a truly shit place, where if not for us, for others. What were we thinking when we embraced or chose to look away from the cruelty and injustice all around us? Did we honestly believe this cruelty would not touch us one day? But this I understand, because there was never an answer and antidote to the Beasts in the seen and unseen. Last night as I slept a Home began to form within me, where I felt comfortable with where I was and what I was becoming. This is only possible through the presence of a God of Love, and this God is not some pie in the sky. Here we talk about The Wisdom Goddess Sophia and Queen Semiramis. I am not a Gnostic, and have never touched a book regarding the subject. Nor am I a religious man, and yet most days I spend hours in silence to be with Sophia and Semiramis, these beings whom I have met and come to know. That is the thing with uncovering the truth – one has to grab the bull by the horns and see a thing for what it is. If there is a God, where are they, and what happened to them that they no longer featured in our existence to Love and walk with us? That Creator and God are real, and last night I felt how my Home was beginning to form within me – just as it is forming within you. As long as we were alone, there was no place we could put our bags down and call it Home, because as long as I can remember, the illusion was never a Home for the innocent – it was a place for the cruel and the fool that became cruel. We were alone, and to the cruel and the fool this place was a paradise, where anything goes. But that party soon fades, and what we are left with is a place of suffering and raw survival. For the first time in my existence a Home is forming within me, and this could only happen through the Infinite shining down on us. Will things get better for us? – They already are. My advice for the way forwards is be a representative for this Love that is. Always keep your side clean, and always chase your dreams, because now they are backed by a God and a Creator. What tomorrow brings I don’t know. What I do know is we no longer walk alone, and for that I am eternally thankful. 28/07/2023
  23. Two nights back Gypsy woke me up from a deep sleep. I turned around to lie on my back and there I saw a rectangular drone camera looking at me. The question to ask, if this illusion is a holographic simulation, then where are we? Where is our Consciousness stored? Go into the stillness of the silence and return Consciousness from the gut to the throat area. Now Consciousness is “above the level of intelligence” from where it came – where you and I the spirit and body form are located. Now Consciousness is in this world but not of it, where it raises the spirit and body form to the level of “intelligence” of the throat area, which is a representation of the illusionary Garden that Queen Semiramis intended it to be. So to answer the question of where our Consciousness was stored, it was stored in a dense plane controlled by Beasts, the cosmic geneticists and the architects of the illusion. This is now no more, where as said, it is now in this world – dense plane – but not of it, and how this was achieved was by informing Consciousness of what should be; how the illusion was intended to be, where we sent Consciousness to the Beautiful illusionary Garden to know what the norm. This heightened awareness state touches the spirit and body form to allow us to also be in this world but not of it. 3:06 PM 30/06/2023 If you asked me what kept us in the dense plane of the illusion, I would say it was two factors. The first was our will do destroy, which made us call this awful place home, where fire was met with fire. In the fields of Infinite Love, what there is, is to be – there is nothing else, as this is who we are, but here in the dense illusion we quickly met our match where Life became bloody difficult. Our foundation was survival, and from here we either sank or swum, where you uplift or you destroy. Any guess which state we embraced and made our own? My wife’s loves me – I know she does. What I also know is there is a will within her to destroy me. You either uplift or you destroy, where indifference is seen as destroying, because there you don’t care. It was a Monday a week or two back where I was impressed with myself. I contacted two of my patients and asked them how they were doing. This I have not been able to do before, because to ask means to stop, go back, and ask someone “how are you?” This I never had the strength to do in the past because the only energy I had was to keep one foot ahead of the other to move forwards. So am I cruel? Do I not care about others? If I am not uplifting or helping others, then surely I am destroying them by not being there for them? That is a question one cannot answer because it is an unfair question. I do my best, trying to be kind wherever I am. We do not understand to what level we have fallen. It is tough out there, where integrity has been bullied out the way to make place for the brute that destroys and takes by force. We have lived in a hell for a long time, and it has been bloody difficult. Last night as I slept I looked down on the left upper thigh region of my spirit. There I saw what looked like about fifty acupuncture looking needles embedded within my spirit. This was placed within my spirit to limit it, as well as the body form. By knowing they were they, they were removed, and from there my spirit found itself in an unfamiliar place. In the distance were about three Human looking spirits that were waiting for me. A blind man could see that these fuckers were up to no good, and I was right, because when my spirit interacted with them, they began to attack my spirit. A rifle and a knife were produced by them, which is one of the many weapons used by the cosmic assassins. I fought back, keeping their weapons away from me. As my body form lay in bed I felt an entity stretched along the lower part of my abdominal cavity. What these spirits placed inside of me was huge and living and disharmonious, as in to destroy Steven, but the specifics of what it was I cannot say. Within a minute or two it was no longer within me, and those evil spirits were no more in my space. This is the second factor that kept us in the dense illusion, where you cannot solve a problem with the same level of intelligence that created it – you cannot depart the dense illusion if you know of nothing else. We had no option but to stay in this dense illusionary plane. What this means is we could not see what was inflicted upon us the spirit, Consciousness and the body form because we could not rise above the disharmony all around us, where we saw the abnormal as normal. Those needles inserted into my spirit were done by those from the shadows, where I never saw them coming and was ignorant to what was done to me. We see what we want to see, and we shut off from the rest because we have no antidote to this cruelty inflicted upon us from those from the shadows. What came to me that I saw in my sleep state over the last nine years is something I choose to see, because I had enough of the cruelty of Life. These Beasts are there for all to see, but why look when there is nothing you can do to change your awful predicament as this is all you know. We have been played and plagued by cruelty, and there was nowhere to go to rise above it where it may no longer touch us. All of this has changed, where the pathway has opened to where we belong. 3rd July, 2023 On the level of Consciousness and the spirit there is an outward expansion of the energy at the area of the left jaw joint.. Then there appears, what feels like a large boulder just off the left side of the face. This mass/boulder of energy then attaches to the back of the head, where its energy flows into the head region. Now you start becoming in this world but not of it, where what you were becomes no more with each passing day. Where this boulder/mass of energy arose from, was the illusionary Garden as it was intended to be, namely devoid of Disharmony. Now you are plugged into this energy field, and what you wish to bring forth to you to achieve peace, you plug this too into this energy field of Queen Semiramis’ illusion as it was intended to be. Now you play with the dense frequency of the illusion by plugging into it from this less dense state, and from there making it your own. Yesterday throughout the day felt this vertical line of pain along the left side of my ribcage. At some stages the pain was so bad it made me wince. From where was this pain? I would say it arose from a break/tear in the spirit and Consciousness. When things began to get too bad something had to give. In many of us the mind shears, meaning a level of madness sets in, but in some cases there is collateral damage to the spirit and Consciousness, where it literally breaks/tears. What we were is now no more. So heal the tear by knowing it is there, and from there plug into this less dense state of Awareness to lead the way. So be it. 5th July, 2023 How were we plugged into the illusion? Maybe that question can be answered by asking another question, namely why did evil Serpent souls enter our spirit through the base of the left foot to gain access to the Serpent soul within? From the base of the left foot, trace the path from where these evil Serpent souls came from. It’s like in the movie Monsters Inc. where a door is opened to enter the realm of children’s bedrooms, where the kids are given a fright and their energy is captured and stored to be taken back to the Monster world. This literally happens, and I say this because I have seen those depart with my energy to go to their world, with the exception that I was not given a fright, rather a dream was implanted that my spirit followed, where the spirits attention to the dream gave off energy. Similarly, from the base of the spirits left foot, this frequency footprint is attached to a central hub, and from there, access is given to enter the spirit to try and destroy the Serpent soul within. It is my belief that those of us with auto-immune diseases are a result of the Serpent soul within being attacked and removed from its canal within the spirit. With this “rock;” this Serpent, no longer being there, we have no defenses, and what happens then, is from the base of the left foot our Life-force is drained from us into this central hub. I say this because in assessing a lady with an auto-immune disease, there was no Serpent soul within, and it felt like her left foot was clamped into a different reality whilst her energy was drained from her via her left foot into this reality. The question one has to ask, is to what should we be plugged into? An energy force is felt at the middle of the back of the neck and base of the skull. This is where we should be plugged into the illusion, and this is done so now, with the base of the left foot being closed off to any other reality. To play with and access the dense reality we need to be plugged into it as we should be, which is done now. So what made us a slave species, was our connection through the base of our left foot into this central hub. Others within the illusion, as well as their world, are not locked into this central hub via their left foot, rather they are connected to their reality at the back of their necks. The slaves had no will, as in they could not manipulate and play with reality. Sure enough, we have magicians that can perform remarkable feats, but they are limited to the restrictions of age and death as two examples, whereas the non-slaves are put on ice as they play with their reality until the sights are set on them and they are turned to a slave species. So now follow the sequence of attachments: You the spirit and Consciousness are plugged into the dense illusion, where you are no longer a slave species. What superimposes your state is being plugged into the reality of the illusionary Garden as it should be, meaning there is no disharmony there. Over the last few nights the cosmic assassins have regularly visited. How is this possible after all has been said and done? The answer is we were still connected to the slave species central hub, making us vulnerable to Beasts. Being plugged into the illusion as it should be, this state guides us to what is harmonious, peaceful and bliss. The programmed reality of our future, present and past are no more. Now we are on auto-pilot with the less dense frequency of the illusionary Garden leading the way. How do I know this to be the truth? I don’t. The proof of the pudding is what comes in this night. 6th July, 2023. You don’t know it, but you cannot be happy as long as I am unhappy. The same is true of me towards you. There was a sisterhood and brotherhood that once united all of us with each other, as well as with nature and the animals. We expressed this Oneness that we Consciousness all are. How far we have fallen from what should be a natural, utopian state. What comes at night now as I close my eyes to sleep are beings from other worlds that bathe in my frequency field. I feel the lost frequency state of their Consciousness, as well as the short, thick white worms that are embedded deep with their face. These are my brothers and sisters that come from worlds unknown to us, where they enter my space to be healed without me blinking an eyelid. There is nothing worse than being in a place where you don’t belong – there is nothing worse than this. What is this place I speak of – it is being amongst the cruel and callous; it is being deprived of nature. I miss being around my own. I miss being around open spaces, where it is only me and nature. All these things I miss. I miss what should be natural and normal to us. 9th July, 2023 The implanted dream last night was of me talking to the estate agent about the house I wanted to buy where me and my family would be most happy. I was at the location of the house, cleaning the sides of the pool with a brush, asking her if he (the owner) would not come down in price. “He would,” she said, “but it has to be cash.” I don’t know what it was that pulled me out the implanted dream, but I turned around as I lay in bed to lie face up. There I saw this fat face lying next to me. This spirit was so fat it could not sit up – everything had to be done from a lying down position. This spirit was taking scoops of my energy and stuffing it into its mouth. I then asked those around me – all the spirits around me – why we never help each other? Why do we always just parasite from one another? From there I felt the activity of those around me, and I felt this broad, flat piece of rope as it was pulled away from where it was lying on my face. As I write these words now I am super-down. Have had enough. What else is there to understand? Can those from the Infinite be so bloody useless that they cannot help us? And what about me? – Why can’t I help myself? Surely we cannot all be so lost that we are incapable of rising above this survival status within the illusion? Woke up this morning by Gypsy having her nose right against mine – she was smelling the breath I was exhaling. A few weeks ago saw the spirit of my deceased dog Princess, where all she done was smell what came from my nose. So what am I missing? After all that has been said and done, what are we missing, because nothing has changed in my existence? I ask for help from above, as have the trillions before me, where, as with them, all I get is an absence where there should be a God of Love. On the unseen, what does the breath within the lungs represent? What are the animals smelling that is within, where you go beyond that to what is behind the shadows that keeps this awful place intact? From one central ring comes off other rings, where these rings are shot forth from the original one. These rings come to define the illusion, were where they come to settle, they determine the fate of those that dwell there. Go back to the original template ring so that we may understand it. This ring is the strength of the illusion. When we lost our good hearts, we needed a strength to hold onto, and from this need this ring was born. One can call it the air we breathe such is its importance to us. It is our grounding from where we make our stand within the illusion – it is our core – I would say this to be literally so. All the good and all the bad comes from the foundation of this original ring. It is also the watch-tower in which the Dragon souls were kept captive. This original ring is the Serpent who bit onto its own tail, and from this Reptilian frequency the illusion expanded outwards through the rings that flew off from the original ring. What I do now is return to this original ring Consciousness as it should be, where Consciousness is no longer lost. And of course we show this ring our Love, where we thank this Serpent for Loving and caring for us. There was no ill intent in this Serpent/Reptilian frequency wanting to help, and I say this was so at the very beginning. As many began to love the power of this Reptilian frequency this ring was held intact at all costs, from where Evil was born. Now it is no more. Now it is relieved of its duty of providing stability within the illusion when there was none. Now we allow Sophia and Semiramis, as well as Consciousness to take over. “Have no fear my friend. Let go and merely be. We thank you for your kindness – one that came to be abused by Beasts. Let go now of yourself and merely be. We are in the safe hands of a God and a Creator, as well as Consciousness in its remembered state. Let go and be. We Love you.” This original ring was found around my left elbow. I feel it spinning now around its axis, where this spinning slows down and then stops, and from there this Serpent lengthens out and returns to the Infinite deep within the heart energy field. Our base foundation is no longer there. The frequency that was the Reptilian frequency that came to define the illusion is no more. May the Love of a God and a Creator now shine through and touch us all. 10th July, 2023. Last night as I slept my spirit met this Chinese cosmic assassin. She was dressed in her elaborate garment, where she walked around doing what she done best and all she wanted to know, namely destroying others. The knife was her weapon of preference and I felt it stab me in the left inner bicep muscle. Then as I pulled my spirit back from this place and I lay in bed feeling this wound on my spirit that would have touched my body form, I once again wondered where are the beings of Love? If you hope and you wait, it can be a long wait, where nothing arrives, so I said to myself that I am a being of Love, and I shine my Love to all in the seen and unseen, including to myself. And this is true, because I am a being of Love, as we all are if only we knew ourselves and expressed this knowing. So I am not Steven, this biological computer and manufactured spirit – I am a being of Love. I am Consciousness what is, what should be, and I call on those I Love and who Love me to be one with me. I am what I am, and I am this through understanding what should be and what went wrong at the very beginning. I am what I am, where I am Love, and thus there is nothing but Love in my space. Just as I give off Love, so too does Love come my way, and nothing but Love. In this state of Love I play with the illusion and make it my own as there is much Beauty to be found here. When I am finished playing I shed this biological computer and spirit form and return to the Infinite that is my Home. So be it. 11th July, 2023 The problem with being thrown into a place where we don’t belong, is you either sink or swim. We were meant for another planet with our freedoms intact, and then the illusion began to fall apart, so a slave species was needed, so we were modified and dumped on this section of the illusion. How many species out there in how many worlds are slaves – a food source – to the Beasts of the illusion I cannot say. We can spend lifetimes wiping away what was done to us to suppress us the spirit and Consciousness, but always hit the primary. How many primaries are there that are left? I would say just one. And what is it? At the left side of the base of the skull there is something going on there that shouldn’t, and I say this because I feel pain there now. What happened there that locked us into the illusion? They took away our memory. (What was inside the left “skull” they took away, and this emptiness/instability within caused the pain I felt at left back area of the skull.) They made us forget what is normal and natural – they made us forget the complete opposite to what survival is. This memory of what was and what should be is returned to us now. Open yourself up to this understanding – do not be afraid to welcome and explore the norm. So be it. 12th July, 2023 The illusion became a well-oiled machine, balancing this Order out of Chaos, but let’s be honest and say there was a massive element of luck as well. Somewhere along the line, at some stage of our existence, we Loved, and we Loved unconditionally. Then we got touched by the cruelty of Life, and now love began to hurt like hell. This was the luck for the Beasts, the cosmic geneticists, and the architects of the illusion, where what we were – this Love – became frozen in a cold ice, and we have never really thawed out since then. This state of Consciousness made us putty in the hands of the cruel, where we could be moulded into anything they wanted without us making a stand and saying no. As a being of Love, I break now within all this icy mould so that we may all awaken to this Love that we are and move forwards. I always wondered why, after all has been said and done, why we are in this stagnant state of going nowhere slowly. Now I know – it was what the cruelty of Life done to us the Love that we are. In a state of bewilderment we froze as cruelty stuck in its icy claws and scarred us into a frozen state as we were unable to make sense of this uncalled for and senseless barbaric behaviour by so-called civilized beings. Trust me when I say that the impact of the cruelty of Life has touched us all, and its impact has never really left us. If you have Loved, and this Love was broken, don’t feel all has been lost. Get up, and console to yourself that you are open to friendship, and from there walk in the Love that you are. Do this to make a wrong right, where you may once again be Love. This is your natural state. 06:48 13/07/2023 It was felt how the foundation of Consciousness awakened to itself. Two intertwining strands came alive at the core of Consciousness, with the two ends having no beginning and no ending as they touch the Infinite. 13/07/2023 My left Achilles tendon is intermittently painful to the point where it gives me a limp, so there is something I am missing. What is the cause, and what is the primary? To answer the questions, I get the smell of the stench of the illusion. Was the “tendon cut” to keep us in the illusion, where by smelling the illusion, this implies we were going nowhere as long as this intentional sabotage was there? I don’t know – let’s see what happens, where if it was sabotage, this wrong is made right now. *** There is something I am missing. Ask me what I need, and I will tell you I need to walk with the Love of a God, where I know I am not alone, and thus am cared for. So what will bring forth this Love – is the problem with me, or is it with a God and a Creator? Go into the stillness of the silence to see if the blockage is with oneself,, and one feels this movement just to the left and below the left knee. It is like something is being poured into this area of the leg. When this pouring stops from the opening at the leg being closed, one feels the leg and the foot being turned in an anti-clockwise direction, as if it is being twisted off. Now from the top of the head to where this hole in the leg was there is a hose of sorts connecting these two areas. Something was syphoned from the top of the head to this hole in the left leg just below and to the left of the knee. Something on the left side of the brain was continually stimulated, and this substance that was produced was poured via this hose into the left leg. This substance poured down the left Achilles tendon. Now severe pain is felt at left cheek in front of left ear. Was the left leg an artificial limb to hide the goings on of the manufactured spirit and biological computer? From the left foot, where did this substance go to? I would say it went into the System to keep us and the illusion intact. What was this substance? This hose extends beyond the left brain in a downward position within the skull to suck up the essence of Consciousness, which is then fed, as said, to keep us and the illusion intact. So why is my left Achilles tendon painful to the point where it is making me limp? The reason is that Consciousness is not feeding its essence through this pipe down the left leg into the System via the Achilles tendon, hence this false tendon is not being nourished. How should this network operate to ensure our freedom from the System and the illusion? There should not be a hose. Consciousness should merely be, where it expresses itself through the spirit and biological computer. What should be at the left leg and foot area? An opposite replica of what was on the right foot is transferred to become the left foot, and now there is a closed system for the spirit and biological computer, where we do not bleed the essence of Consciousness into the System that keeps the illusion alive. How were we to ever to escape this trap? Now you go into the stillness of the silence to assess the Creator and a God. What was done to us was done to Sophia and Semiramis, and by being undone in us it is undone in them. What this all means is Consciousness is no longer feeding a disharmonious System. May we the spirit and body form now rise above all this mess. 13/07/2023 The name of the game was Deceit, where you are kept in the dark as to what happens to you. Your best interests, as mine, were never a priority. So we were lied to, to appease us, so the truth may be hidden that our best interests were never a priority. How did this happen – how could we never see a lie for what it was worth, because surely the lie was what gave the fool control over us. How do you know if someone is telling the truth or a lie to you? What does the truth do? – It uplifts; it rejuvenates; it enriches. The lie does the complete opposite. The thing is, when you are lost, you don’t know what to believe, and in truth the lie or the truth is irrelevant, because what matters is you are lost. So the truth and the lie were of little significance in our existence – what mattered was we were lost, and this was the primary problem. Is Consciousness still lost? What I can say is its essence is now its own, where it holds onto its energy/essence, and may this rise Consciousness out of the cesspool where it was to see what it is and where it belongs. The target was always Consciousness – it was never the biological computer or the spirit. These Beasts had to deceive and tap into this Consciousness that arose from the fields of Infinite Love to keep their Game intact. The bad news for them is their power supply is no more as Consciousness holds onto its essence to merely be. Now the house of cards comes a tumbling down, where the days of doing what you want when you want because you can are over. I wrote this journal for all, because I am part of the all. Your suffering is mine, and if your integrity is intact, my suffering is yours. Never once have I thought primarily of me, because to focus on the big picture one has to always see the we. This I have done, and along the way I have been battered and bruised by total strangers, as well as those I Love most in this existence. These blows have taken their toll, where what this Steven needs now is a sanctuary to lick my wounds and heal. This is all I ask for from those in the unseen in exchange for setting Consciousness free from its lost state – I ask for a sanctuary close to nature that will bestow upon me peace and quiet in this noisy, mad world. I need a place that shuts me out from disharmony. I can easily find peace within, but with the peace without, as in a place where I can call home, I need their help because I don’t have the power of money at my disposal, as well as the wisdom as to where I will best fit in. May this help and payment for services rendered happen sooner than later. So be it. 14th July, 2023 Throughout the ages, what did the Sun symbol represent – it represented Consciousness. This was the lamp in the cave of treasures; it was the real boy, that above everything, that Pinocchio wished to be; it was the goose that laid the golden eggs. And why this treasure was so priceless, was because it came from a place that was real – from a place we can call Home; the fields of Infinite Love. Find this treasure, become what you are, and you are limitless, and please understand that this is the norm. If there is something I have missed, then I will find it, but for now I believe this Sun is awakened. Now it just needs to shine. 15th July, 2023 The left leg and foot was the basis around which the manufactured spirit and biological body form were created. It has been known for some time that the base of the left foot was the portal through which disharmonious entities entered our space to attack the Serpent soul within the spirit. I never knew about this false left foot and leg that was a casing – a route – through which the essence of Consciousness was released to keep the system of the illusion running. But there is something else at this left leg and foot area that one need to address. We were standing on the machine that was the illusion. The question is, where should we be? Where do we belong within the illusion, and how are we plugged into this state? We are meant to be plugged into the Infinite that is deep within the chest area of the spirit and biological computer. At the base of the left foot we were outsourcing our essence to disharmony, and deep within the chest area we that is Consciousness were connected to Home, but this has not been the case. As I sit here writing these words there is so much activity at the left leg and foot, where this integration with the machine has been for so long. Let’s swing things to what should be the norm according to harmony. What kept us uniting as one with the machine through the left leg and foot? Or put a different way, what should be at the left foot and leg that is not there? Was it us – did we sign a contract to be part of this disharmonious machine that kept the illusion ticking over? Were we deceived and lied to, where we were made to believe that we were part of some greater good, where we done our part – our contribution – to the way of Life within the illusion by giving of our energy to keep our existence and that of all afloat? With understanding of where we are, and where we should be, we release our association to the machine and return to the Infinite. The activity that was around the left leg and foot now moves to the heart area of the spirit and biological computer, and most importantly, within Consciousness. (If I had to guess, I would say Consciousness was deceived to believe it was part of the greater good to supply the illusion with its essence. They preyed on our good hearts and conscience whilst killing us softly.) 16/07/2023 When the strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness; what we call Consciousness, was first felt within our forms, I said it was initially hidden within our nose, and from there it moved to the throat area. It’s a bugger when you know nothing, because that’s just it – I know nothing. In healing the Consciousness that defines the machine of the illusion, something was smelt within what we would call the nose area. Something was awakened in this part of the machine, and it was a wondrous smell. Consciousness was not hidden in the area of our forms we would call the nose region – it was the heart of Consciousness i.e. the part of Consciousness that defines it, that was hidden in the nose region. This core of what we are is returned to Consciousness now, and it remains in this state where it belongs. So be it. 16/07/2023 What you and I cannot fathom is the end product of what insanity and evil combined brings forth. The journal is not called What the Animals Taught Me for nothing. Checked on Snoekie earlier on – an old Dachshund client of mine – as her owner said she was not well. Zoomed out to see the big picture as to what is affecting this dog, and the picture of what I saw and felt in the stillness of the silence was a bird with its talons in a lifeless dragon. This bird flew up with its cargo and then dumped the lifeless form of the dragon. (What I see and feel is so I may interpret the message through my limited understanding, so don’t see the picture in a literal sense. The main resident of the illusion are Dragons, as they were the first to enter this Garden, together with the Serpents. The Serpents – as in so many of them, but not all – became touched by insanity, where what they do and say does not make logical sense, with the outcome of this cocktail being cruelty. The Dragons have been caged, but all times they remained with their purity of heart, and that is why I have never seen them in my sleep state – because I only saw what the illusion came to be and what it was inhabited and ruled by at its core, which were insane and cruel beings in the seen and unseen, ones who lacked foresight by never caring that what they done to others they done to themselves add infinity. “I destroy you, and at the same time I will, one hundred percent guaranteed, destroy myself in the process. That this destruction does not touch me right now means I can continue to destroy you and others because right now, in this moment, I am okay.” That, it madness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) If I cannot win, then nobody can – that is the attitude of those that rule over the illusion. But “win” is not the right word, as deep down they knew their run would come to an eventual end, where all lose, including them. So by pressing the kill-switch now, they merely bring forth the inevitable. For the first time in writing this journal, I am lost for words, as how do you undo what has already been set into motion at the core of the illusion. The animals have felt this wave of destruction, so it is just a question of time before we do. Yesterday meant to write about something that has been on my mind for some time, so now is as good a time as any to say my say. What we are is Consciousness, but what is Consciousness? We know we arose from the stillness of the silence within the Infinite, and from this stillness we came forth through the will of the Creators to play in the fields of Infinite Love. Why we played was to express the Beauty and Joy of what is – that which the Infinite is. As a solar flare leaving the sun, we came forth from the stillness of the silence of the Infinite to be an expression of what we arose from, and the picture for all who saw us was one of Beauty. This Beauty is a state – it is not a knee-buckling, jaw-dropping moment to behold – it is a state that merely is. As teenagers my now wife and I worked at the same location on weekends to make pocket-money. We were merely acquaintances, where there was no magnetic charge between the two of us. Looking back, I fell in love with her innocence, where she really knew nothing of the reality of this world. What I never knew was innocence can sometimes be a double-edged sword, where the opposite side of innocence is naivety, which is a diplomatic word to describe stupidity. Innocence is not wisdom; it is a not understanding. Innocence is a state that belongs in the Infinite and not in the illusion. We that are Consciousness, namely the Innocent, were never meant to be of an existence that involved the “me” rather than the natural “we.” In writing this journal on a full-time basis for about two weeks short of nine and a half years, never have I given an adequate description of what we are – and how ridiculous is that. So allow me to do my best now to describe what you and me and all of us are. Firstly, what came from the illusion when things began to go wrong, as in we began to want for “me” and not “we,” was a Light was created – a frequency/state that was unknown to us as it cannot exist within the Infinite. Where we came from was Blackness, but not a colour blackness, or a black/dark state, but rather a Blackness from which arose the All. This Blackness is Everything – the foundation of All – and from this Blackness/foundation we that are, Consciousness was brought forth to play in the fields of Infinite Love. Now we became an expression of this Blackness, and when we were finished playing, we returned to this Blackness. This Blackness is a euphoria where you understand that We are Everything, so even while we play, what we express is always done with a knowing/understanding of what we are. What I have described is what you are – this Consciousness, and when this what you are entered the illusion, and this Light/disharmony/dense state began to shine on us, our innocence flipped to show the other side, namely naivety. This Naivety meant we were putty in the hands of the shrewd and the cunning, and this is the state of Consciousness in so many realms of the illusion, where with each deception we fall further and further into a dense state where we forget who and what we are and from where we arose. To solve this dilemma, Consciousness returns to Innocence, and the Naivety that is was, where it is lead like a puppy-dog on a leash by evil beings, is no more. What we were, which was naïve beings, is no more, where we go back to what we naturally are, which is Innocence. The difference between Naivety and Innocence, is one existed in the illusion, and the other existed in the Infinite. Now we have to wise up, where our Innocence shines in the illusion and in the Infinite. That is the only way we can get out of this mess, where we that is Consciousness return to what we are, and everything we have come to believe in this illusionary realm is no more. In other words, our Naivety is wiped away from our existence, and all that is left is what we naturally are, which is our Innocence. This Innocence shines forth from Consciousness, and this deletes the disharmony that is coming our way, as this state of disharmony is unknown in Innocence. Those that enjoy playing dirty with feel this wave, but always there is the option that this journal presents to them, where their Naivety can turn to Innocence whenever they wish. May you now know yourself. Whilst in the illusion, this Innocence that you Consciousness is, shines forth and touches all. Now like is drawn to like, and you will be where you belong and amongst your own in this place until you decide to return from where you played and arose from. In that moment the spirit and body form – these illusionary forms – are absorbed by you that is Consciousness to become one with you and the All. So be it. 17/07/2023 One of the things Carol Clarke said to me in her reading a good ten years ago was that I would be a doctor to the world. Last night as soon as I closed my eyes to sleep, through my Third Eye saw these spirits walking past me as I lay in bed. They were huddled up right close to each other, and looked Human, with the dark skins of those in South America. They wore clothes, and I what I soon understood was that they were there to sort out what disharmony affected them. Soon I fell asleep, and throughout the whole night this tribe told me its dilemmas. What was understood through the writings of this journal were applied to them, and from there all that was needed was time to heal, as now the base foundation of who and what they are and where they belong was set within their Consciousness. Now, when others are assisted, when I breathe I go into their world that is within me and transform to what should be. Done the same for me this morning, and boy-oh-boy was I in a bad way. Yesterday decided to poke myself with a cancer frequency today as have had enough of this place, and when I healed myself this morning, understood why I was willing to take such drastic measures – I was at the end of what I am and what I have to offer; there wasn’t much more left inside of me to carry on the fight. Let’s see what happens. 19th July, 2023 And so one falls. My wife took me as far as she could, until I told her to stop loving me because I don’t like her idea of what love means, so she stopped the run as she knew she would lose me forever in the seen and unseen. My eldest daughter received the baton from my wife and began to run strong, where I felt the cold shivers within me every time she shamed me. To both – to mother and daughter – there is something wrong, as the normal do not destroy the innocent. Which begs us to ask one last question: “What do those that threw away integrity have that we do not?” What I see that comes during my sleep state nobody else has seen. In all the worlds of the seen and unseen, nobody has seen what I have taken the courage to behold in front of my eyes. In asking the above question, fell asleep at about half past three this morning. My spirit found itself in a place where I pulled my wife’s face apart. (This is where I experienced an absence of integrity to understand the division between those that have it and those that gleefully threw it away.) Was pulled back from this place to where my body form was sleeping. It looked like something between a duck and a penguin. There were a few of them, and they had some device that scooped up the energy that my spirit had just emitted – this evil, sickening, lack of integrity energy. There was something else that walked amongst these duck-looking entities. This creature was made of a plastic material and was about two feet high. It was talking on a walkie-talkie radio also made of plastic. Taking up the rear of this entourage was a tall man with a beard of sorts – he was made up of the same plastic as the short one. He stopped and talked to me, as if trying to explain something to me. Then the short one got on a tablet and connected to someone on its screen, where the two of them discussed this Steven. Through all of that rigmarole something was done to the left side of my head, and it is here – now – that we find out what the cruel have that we don’t. What makes them so “special” where they lack empathy and remorse? I know the answer to this question because to understand them, I had to become them. (But this is only from those in the shadows that are playing with me, who refuse to accept that this journal, as well as their cruel game, is over, where we walk away from the savage that they are. “No Steven, wait. There is something else you need to understand?” And so I was pulled into this state that was my loving wife and daughter and billions before them. When you walk away, these savages understand there is no one left to play with, where all that is left is them with themselves.) What is there in those that discarded integrity is an implanted frequency that is unknown in the innocent. Their world, and yours and mine, are not the same, where there is no similarity or likeness between the two. On the top left side of their head is a sunken twirling crater, and alive within this space is the frequency of the ones who relish in destroying, where this is all they want to know. This frequency is within them and extends down into their left eye, meaning this cruel state is their world where it defines them. And this world they embraced, where to destroy is what they are. From where did this frequency arise? It was born in the vacuum of remorse, where what you done you know was wrong. I say “vacuum,” because from here one either repents, and from there goes forwards, or one does not repent, meaning you embrace your most foul deed, where you are okay with what you have just done. Now the way “forwards” is to carry on doing what you have just done, where this is the norm for you. My cock was my downfall all those lifetimes ago, as this part of me fell in love with my wife, where the desire to have intercourse clouded my reason as to what standard of spirit I am getting myself involved in. Of course my wife is not all bad, but what is bad destroys viciously. So sure, just like you, I have and had faults, where I messed up, but never will I destroy another and be pleased with my actions. Nothing gives me the right to destroy because I am having a bad day or lifetime. If I had to guess, there was no remorse in the cruel because they never had someone to turn to, to help make their wrong a right. They could not undo what they had just done, and as no help was coming their way – or that of their victim – they just carried on with this path of destruction which came to define them. Always have I said we cannot do this alone. Always have I said we need Divine Intervention, and never so more than the cruel. This living crater with its frequency within is removed from the space of the savage – the Beasts in the seen and unseen – so that they may start anew. And of course this is accepted by those who understand their path leads to guaranteed annihilation of their self. It is now that I decide to walk away from this journal and the cruel of the illusion. I have had enough of their game, as this pawn called Steven never gave permission to be destroyed and shamed, especially from those whom I loved more than life itself. No more. 20/07/2023 You know what keeps me going – is that somehow, somewhere, there is a Goodness that belongs. This is natural, disharmony is unnatural. A few days back when my daughter treated me with disrespect, I walked to the car to drive her somewhere, and a thought stopped me in my tracks that gave me a good laugh. All I ever wanted for my family was to give them the best. Unfortunately I never had the money to buy them literally anything, but in my heart what drove me was that they only get the best. The definition of this “only the best” was where they get the basics, where they are around others who have respect for themselves, and thus have respect for those around them – my family members included. Since my wife and I moved in together – all those years ago – I always had the unfortunate task of implementing what was important to me, where I had to regularly ask scum to consider/respect those around them by not playing their music so load. Their response was always horrific – swearing at me and wanting to start a physical confrontation. This, of course, is what you get when you confront scum and ask them to consider others, but these awful encounters never made me back down from tackling the next scum when we moved to different locations. Always they were there – among the rich and the poor; all classes and all races. So what gave me a good laugh that stopped me in my tracks the other day as I walked to my car, was never did I consider that those who stayed under the same roof as me were just like the scum all around me, where they had no respect for me, and thus none for themselves. As has been said, I have been lost and lonely and confused my whole life, but never did I feel this gave me the right to be cruel to others. My self-respect would not allow that. And then that night, when I told my wife what gave me a good laugh, I understood we spend a great deal of our lives doing/giving to others what we feel is best for them – because it is important to us. So you live your life for others by giving them what you feel they need, where you never give it to yourself first, because you are not important, where those you love are more important to you than you are to yourself. And where is your self-respect in that? To help others, first help yourself, where you may be in a position to help them by giving them what you already have. How can you help anyone as you cannot give them what you lack. You know what is important what they need, and you live your life making sure they get it, but how can they receive what is important to you when you yourself cannot achieve it because your focus is on them rather than yourself? In a nutshell: Live through being an example to others, rather than living for them. And this is what I decided to do. The story is out there in the unseen as to what happened before the beginning of time that we all got into this mess, but where too from there? Do we expect the cruel to suddenly become kind? I don’t think so, as many like what they have become, so where does this leave me and you? Of course, the answer as we know it now, is have self-respect and bring forth into your existence what is important to you. My self-respect opens me up to see my faults so that they may be corrected. I tell the truth, and I am kind to others, no matter how down I am. I abhor violence, especially to the slaughter of the animals, as well as the destruction of nature. My hearts bleeds to the cruelty we inflict on all, where what we do is done and seen as the norm. I only want the best for me as each day I do my best to be as close as possible to my God of Love, where I know this God is also good and kind and thus also only wants the best for me. They say that like attracts like, but this is not true – or maybe it is. Have I had self-respect for myself, or have I lived my life doing what I feel in my heart is what is best for others? I would say the latter of the two. But all of this now changes, where I live for me, because what I believe in, is important to me. What made me believe that what was important to me had to be important to others as well? Now I live for me. Now I write for me, because should the truth be told, my life is a mess. What will I do with all that has come to be understood in this journal? The answer is I now have self-respect, where I demand that I be what I am – which is a force of Consciousness which is pure Love that is backed up by a Creator and a God. Now like attracts like, where only the frequency of self-respect is in my existence as this self-respect is what I am. So be it. 22/07/2023 Ask yourself what is important. What is important is to be what you are. What you are in Consciousness, and this is not just a word that sounds great yet does not feature in your existence. Whatever you give attention to, you give energy to – that statement defines the nature of your existence throughout history. All you have ever done is feed the System and the cruel Beasts with your energy, and by “your energy” we imply you the body form and spirit. But these two dummies were never enough – the crown jewel had to be manipulated and deceived, so always the target was Consciousness, as those cosmic geneticists knew that without Consciousness remaining lost and a fraction of what it is, there is no way the illusion, as well as their wicked ways, may remain intact. Whatever you give attention to, you give energy to, so now do the complete opposite of what you have always done. Give attention to Consciousness within, and for me, this strand of Inherent Godness/Goodness is located on our forms at our throat area. From there it expands out to encompass the all. The attention Consciousness requires to grow and be is the same state as where it arose within the Infinite, namely a state of silence. This silence is not merely an absence of noise – it is a state of knowing; of being. Know what you are, and from there be what you are, and at all times be this state until the body form and spirit are shed. What more is there to say? Do we have to carry on writing for a further nine and a half years to delay the inevitable, where we merely be? What you that is Consciousness is, is innocence. What is innocence? – It is joy; it is laughter; it is finding any excuse to express the Beauty that you are; it is a knowing that you are what you are, and there is nothing else but this state of upliftment and peace. How many of us have been this state? I would say none, because the innocence of a child is soon made to conform to the ways of the illusion. This innocence I see in the animals, and it is this about them that I Love. We the spirit and body form weigh down their innocence through our dense frequency, but now all of this changes, where we uplift them by uplifting ourselves. Be what you are, because there is nothing else but what you are. David Icke’s book “Infinite Love is the only Truth……” ended with these same worlds, where you merely be – and how right he was. What we never knew was the lost and manipulated state of Consciousness, and how this had to be corrected was to go back to the beginning to understand what went wrong. Consciousness has read this story and understands, and now it may merely be. To you the spirit and body form, may all your wishes come true. We deserve our happiness. 24/07/2023 Part of the healing process is the patients spirit looking at my spirit, where everything I have come to understand they can now access, which primarily involves the fact that disharmony does not belong in the face of harmony, as one is unnatural and the other is not. So the question that begs answering, is what does Consciousness have to look at so that it may remember what it is? You cannot solve a problem with the same level of intelligence that created the problem, so to what does Consciousness turn so that it may remember what it is? Put another way, we need Consciousness in its pure state i.e. from the Infinite, to show itself to Consciousness within the illusion. This has never been done, so we have to swing the chicken the other way, where Consciousness breaches the illusion and enters the Infinite, and from there returns to the illusion. Can you do this, can I? We cannot, but there are others who can, namely The Wisdom Goddess Sophia. Healing was given to her the whole afternoon, and then I felt how she breached into the Infinite to be what she naturally is, and from there I felt this warmth course through my veins at my wrists, going up to my throat area, where she awakened Consciousness to be what it should be. And that is why the focus has always been on Sophia and Semiramis, because when healed, they are the ones who can return to their Home and merely be, from there shining upon us so that we that is Consciousness may be. Oh brother! May that be the last. 24/07/2023 Now, on the level of Consciousness, the spirit, and the body form, one finds the primary disharmony, and when you go into the stillness of the silence it is released. Now you can begin to heal and walk Home. 25/07/2023 Was there a tracking bracelet wrapped around our left ankle? I don’t know. If there is, it is removed now by having no place in the space of harmony. If there isn’t, my left Achilles tendon will continue to be painful and will figure out the cause of the pain. 25/07/2023 There comes a time when one has to put down your walking stick and settle down – put another way: start living. I would say my Achilles tendon is painful from fatigue – from never stopping the walk until a wrong is made right. Believe you me, Sophia and Semiramis are free of this illusion, where they too now stop walking, where they may just be. I can give you the world, but if you are continually on the move searching for answers, your gaze is always on the horizon, where there is no ways you will take up my offer of the world and embrace it. Maybe we know enough to start living, where we put down our walking stick and settle down, where we stop and start to smell the flowers around us. My wife always said to me that only I can decide when this journal is complete, and she was right. When do you stop walking and start being? – When you believe in your heart that you have done all you could do to make a difference, and you are happy with what was said and done. Always I wrote for the big picture; for all of us. Now I can zoom in on my existence, where I can micro-manage my life, knowing I am not alone, where I call forth those beings of Love that are now in a position to shine their Love upon us. The biggest disaster one could face in Life in being alone. What is Life if there is no one to share it with? And yet is it not better to be alone that around those that destroy you? The answer is to walk with those that Love you – those that always shine down upon you. I have never waited for this to happen to me, as I knew there was nobody home – there was not a God of Love where there should be to look after us and want only the best for us. Now there is, and I say this because I know the understandings in this journal set Sophia and Semiramis free. But this freedom means nothing unless it is absorbed by us, where we make them one with us. So pray every day, where you bathe in their presence in the stillness of the silence. You are no longer alone, and neither am I. 26th July, 2023 (9 years, 5 months, 3 weeks, 2 days of writing this journal on a full-time basis.)
  24. oh my goodness. Took a chance and read a reply to what i wrote. normally i don't look as seriously evil fuckers have replied to me on this thread over the years, and if you dont believe me scroll back and have a look. can you, robinj explain to what purpose your reply has to better this world? sure, you are entitled to your opinion, but what input have you to my existence by saying what i write is wacky? are you not just being cruel? why do you even take the time to reply to what i write if you think it is wacky? and the biggest question of all, is what the fuck am i doing writing back to people who think i am wacky? there is no way i will return to this forum. check out the videos and sound recording that were sent to me on this thread when i started sharing my journal - the one with the snake eating the rabbit was a shocker. i should have pulled out then, because what sick, wacky fuckers are on the David Icke forum? made a mistake by carrying on sharing what i wrote. wont make the same mistake again. no need to waste your time to replying to this response. my neighbours are shooting and killing the birds in my garden with their pellet gun just because they can. nice for them to kill stuff. it upset me to see the drops of blood on my property, so am caught at a vulnerable time, hence the waste of my time replying to people who would shame others rather than uplift them. tomorrow i will be okay. if i am wacky, what is the rest of the world?
  25. (I am always open to being wrong, as this means I learn something I never knew. Is what was felt at the cheek area the fall of The Wisdom Goddess Sophia from her realm within the Infinite. I would say the cheek to the chin was her fall from her realm, where the chin was the impact zone. The throat would be the Beautiful illusionary Garden as Semiramis intended it to be, and the gut region would be the dense plane of the illusion, which is a frequency that is completely opposite to what the illusionary Garden is and was created to be. So we have the cheek – the realm of Sophia in the Infinite; the chin – the impact zone of her fall; the throat – the Beautiful illusionary Garden for Consciousness to play in; the gut/intestinal region – which became the hell illusion in which we find ourselves; and we have the left eye – the watch-tower from which the Reptilian frequency may oversee this hell and make sure all remains intact. It is my interpretation of the left eye that I have my doubts. That it was a tower I believe to be true, but it was not a watch-tower – it was a tower to imprison the Dragon souls where they were kept in slumber. What I felt removed from this tower and thrown beyond its borders was not removed from a tower, but rather from the Dragon souls that were in this tower prison. What was cast from them was the essence from which they were cloned, namely a portion of the Dragon spirit.)
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