Ethel

I don't know if there is light at the end of the tunnel for everyone. There will be for some people, I think. There are people of a very high level of consciousness who will manage to retain at least some quality of life even as the current situation worsens.

 

But for myself, I don't know how I can get through what is to come. My life was already hard, in a certain way. But now, I am in an almost constant state of discomfort. 

 

Some people are lucky enough to go about their lives and see other people like them. Non mask wearers, the non compliant. This will reassure them, and make them feel less alone.

 

I have one person in my entire life who I see regularly who is non compliant. One.

 

The rest are all system slaves of the worst kind. They have been distancing themselves, which suits me in a way, because it is a strain to be around them. The only way it is managed is by avoiding the subject of 'it' altogether.

 

Day after day, week after week, I walk around looking at these masked idiots, feeling more and more and more alone, and I really just want it all to be over.

 

Day after day I cry bitter tears of total grief, for the sense of belonging and connection I wanted to have in this life and that I am reminded I don't have and never have had, every single day.

 

I just long for my constant mental suffering to be over. It is like living with a constant internal itch which never goes away. I can no longer remember the last time I felt happiness but I'm sure it was years ago. I resent being alive now.

 

I deliberately formed a belief that I would never reincarnate and that if the archontic soul trap is real, I will say no to it. I couldn't stand any more.

 

I know there must surely be even more tough times ahead and I don't know for the life of me how I'm going to get through them.