Steven Tansell

The German Shepherd next door kept leaping the fence and crapping in the middle of my lawn, so I went around there and complained, unfortunately it did no good whatsoever, in fact his frigging dog has started doing it as well now!

My willie is exactly eleven and three quarters long, but to be honest I don't use it as a rule anyway!

Every time I see him, I shit my pants, the man is a menace and a threat to humanity!

Uncle Vince, pleaaassse cut your nails, hell, I'm NOT smiling, I'm grimacing!

O.K., who turned the underfloor heating up again? Last week it was drawing pins and now it's underfloor heating, I swear to Allah, heads will roll if this keeps happening!

I like the little fat one with the cap and beard, they formed their own band after this, 'Jahadi Waddi'! they'll 'beheading' your way soon!

My thoughts exactly, a sort of bluff and double bluff, those cold blooded things who planned the scamdemic are trying to scare us shitless with even more horror scenarios culminating in a fake alien invasion designed to hammer us down even tighter! I'm going to move in with Prince Andrew, if the FBI can't snatch him, aliens have no chance

Now they've planted the 'Prince of Darkness' I for one am keeping all my windows and doors locked tonight, and, sleeping with garlic under my pillow and a wooden cross / stake handy! I advise everyone else to do the same, Nosferatu Windsor may get restless around midnight!

When they buried Thatcher I toasted her by drinking a pint of milk in memory of the free school milk supplement that she had stopped, 'Iron Lady' my arse, she was just another pedo protector, end of!

The amount of wankers who say it's sad she has to sit at her husband's funeral all alone! What about the many thousands of widows and widowers who have had to sit all alone at their loved ones funeral, because of a fake scamdemic?

It makes me think that Galapagos penguins aren't as 'engangered' as we've been told they are, they are uniquely marked though aren't they? And well fed too by the looks of things!