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numnuts

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Status Replies posted by numnuts

  1. Ooh arghhh, ooh arghhh, ooh arghhh. Shoot 'em up the arse. 🤠

    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      Ooh arrgghhh, ooh arrgghhh, ooh arrgghhh.

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  2. Ooh arghhh, ooh arghhh, ooh arghhh. Shoot 'em up the arse. 🤠

    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      Ooh argghhh, ooh argghhh, ooh argghhh.

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  3. You are on the run in the woods, then stirred from your slumber one morning. You look up to see Whitty and Vallance, holding hands and totally starkers, slowly making their way through the undergrowth towards you. They tell you it is best to just go along with them quietly, for your first vaccination. Is it time to throw in the towel? 

    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      I am hypothesising about being accosted by two angry freemasons, fully disrobed no less, and in the middle of nowhere. Who on earth would start thinking about recycling, in that grim situation? Did you used to work at the local council?

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  4. You are on the run in the woods, then stirred from your slumber one morning. You look up to see Whitty and Vallance, holding hands and totally starkers, slowly making their way through the undergrowth towards you. They tell you it is best to just go along with them quietly, for your first vaccination. Is it time to throw in the towel? 

  5. That would be like asking Henry VIII to cut out his meaty legs, it would be orfff with your head 😂

    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      Henry VIII is just the kind of dude this country needs right now. He would sort out the woke mob pronto. Who knows, maybe the tech to bring him back will exist soon.

  6. A very crooked development…

    Bought a property you'd like to redevelop, but don't want the aggravation of planning permission or demolition? Easy, get some arsonists to burn it down and the council to demolish the rest for you!

    https://thegrumpyowl.co.uk/2023/08/06/a-very-crooked-development/

    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      Maybe someone at the council helped out with the arson as well. 🙂

    2. (See 7 other replies to this status update)

  7. Here's how this works:

    1. Covid 'pandemic' and lockdowns destroy the UK tourist industry
    2. Lots of hoteliers face ruin as they have empty hotels, because guests are frightened to travel and visit them
    3. Hoteliers are then offered money by the Government (via Serco) to house illegal immigrants and asylum seekers
    4. UK tourist industry fails to recover because visitors are unable to make bookings because 'hotels fully booked'
    5. The few hotels available that are NOT accommodating immigrants charge a premium for a booking, because of 'supply and demand'
    6. Brits forced to stay at home because there is nowhere available for them to travel to on holiday, or they simply can't afford it.
    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      Just like with the farmers being bled dry, then nudged to grow certain crops that don't feed anyone, for a few more quid.

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  8. About 2 hours ago I thought of something really epic and decided to put it on my status update. 

    Now I'm here I can't remember what it was.. 

    :0)

    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      We will all stand by you, no matter what it was.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  9. If it was ok for Jodie Whittaker to get the title role in 'Dr. Who', then Liz Truss should get the title role in the upcoming 'Worzel Gummidge' reboot. She is nigh on there already, but Worzel sported better outfits. As for Tom Tugendhat, I swear I once saw him sucking blood, in one of those 60's/70's era vampire flicks.

    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      I didn't watch a lot of Dr. Who, after Whittaker got the role, so I can't really comment on how well I think she did. Reason being, each to their own, I didn't much like the idea of any female being The Doctor. Nothing personal against Whittaker. Truss, so far at least, seems to be doing very well in her new role.  

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  10. Where is Priti Patel hiding?

  11. The real reason for ‘smart meters’ is becoming ever more apparent

    https://thegrumpyowl.co.uk/2022/06/27/the-real-reason-for-smart-meters-is-becoming-ever-more-apparent/

    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      I have just been informed that I might lose my opportunity to get a smart meter soon, if I don't get one now, due to 'limited stock'. Hmm, why am I not swayed? Given recent, steep rises in gas and electricity prices, I reckon that those with smart meters must be getting mentally terrorised on a daily basis, just by looking at the live display. I would far rather get bill shocked once a quarter or once a month myself. 

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  12. NEVER FORGET: Twenty years ago today, a crack team of inexperienced terrorists, organised by a man living in a cave in Afghanistan, successfully managed to hijack four airline jumbo jets using nothing more than Stanley knives, without US ATC or NORAD noticing, then bravely and skilfully flew two jets into the World Trade Center, and another one into the Pentagon, while the fourth crashed after the passengers rallied round to fight off the hijackers. The two hit towers of the WTC then collapsed into a cloud of dust, while a further tower - Building 7 - collapsed some twenty minutes after the BBC said it did, despite not being hit by a plane.

    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      And, just a few hours later, everyone knew exactly who to blame. 😎 

  13. Why does Keir Starmer always look constipated?

    1. numnuts

      numnuts

      I reckon he is always forcefully 'packed up' the night before, by some shadowy, robed figures, in preparation for his next bout of verbal diarrhoea.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

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