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Status Updates posted by numnuts

  1. Is Christmas over now? 🤔

    1. Fluke


      Sort of its boxing day today.

    2. Grumpy Owl

      Grumpy Owl

      Depends on which Christmas really!

  2. So, when did 'Football Focus' turn in to a 'Teletubbies' reboot? They should move it to the CBeebies channel.

    1. TetraG


      I don't even like football but that's funny dude! 👍

  3. I haven't had a good shag in ages. Even Sunak, in stockings and a blonde wig, could probably get my pulse racing. If he isn't 'available', then Patel can be my home secretary for one evening instead. I don't want to get no heart attack though. 

  4. Sajid Javid - 'We have all of the booster vaccines ready to go; we just need the arms to put them in. Otherwise, we might well have to resort to 'Plan B'.' I heard it all now. 😀

  5. I switched on the TV the other day, at about 6pm, and I thought I was watching a 'Countess Dracula' reboot on the Horror Channel.

  6. For some reason, I think I am going to feel even sicker than usual this year, when all of the vile creatures start donning their poppies. All of the perished will be well turning. 🙁

  7. Why does Keir Starmer always look constipated?

    1. Grumpy Owl

      Grumpy Owl

      Because he's full of shit?

    2. numnuts


      I reckon he is always forcefully 'packed up' the night before, by some shadowy, robed figures, in preparation for his next bout of verbal diarrhoea.

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