Mr Crabtree

ONE OF MY PET HATES ARE COUPLES SITTING OPPOSITE EACH OTHER IN PUBS, RESTAURANTS AND CAFES, BOTH OF THEM LOOKING DOWN AT THEIR PHONES AND SEEMINGLY UNAWARE OF EACH OTHER'S EXISTENCE ! JUST WHAT THE FUCK WENT WRONG WITH SIMPLY ENJOYING EACH OTHER'S COMPANY? PERSONALLY, I THINK IT ALL STARTED WHEN THEY MADE CARRIER PIGEONS REDUNDANT!

SOME THINGS NEED NO WORDS!

ARE THEY A FRANKIE BOYLE TRIBUTE ACT?

When I was twelve, the new neighbour across the road had a very important job that he just dare not be late arriving at work on the dot, so, he gave me a fiver a day to start his car for him so that he could run out of his front door, jump into the driving seat and drive away quickly! He was a smashing bloke, always paid me cash and never once short changed me! Then he suddenly had a load of armed cops around the house, they bundled him into the back seat of a black undercover police car and whisked him away with a blanket over his head! I found out a few months later that he was allegedly an I.R.A. super grass, I don't know how true that was, but whatever the truth was, I really missed him, nearly as much as I missed the fiver a day, and a fiver in 1960 was a lot of cash to a twelve year old! I often wonder about Rick O'Shea and what became of him I guess it will always remain a mystery?

WHAT A LOAD OF WANKERS, I HOPE THE OWNERS OF THE VEHICLES HAD A HAPPY ENDING? ACCORDING TO RECENT STUDIES, HAND JOBS ARE THE COMING THING, AND, KINDER TO THE ENVIRONMENT APPARENTLY!