Mr Crabtree

For our older members, that Ref is actually Al Jolson minus the black face makeup! 'OH MAMMY'!

Nah, false flags a conspiracy theory, a bit like the rumour that England is short of housing stock, just put around by people with time on their hands and nowhere to live! Did you know the favourite drink of the homeless is Tennents Lager?

In actual fact she recently tweeted that she'd just found her first curly pubic hair, and she would NEVER buy another pizza from there again!

I've never smoked either, but thinking about people growing their own baccy, it's got to be better for them without all the additives etc that the big companies mix into their baccy, another plus is you'd deprive the government of a lot of tax money and that's a bonus in itself, so, overall, it's not a bad idea surely?

This is now the new way of getting plastic surgery, they set fire to your face and then, put out the flames by repeatedly hitting your face with a large, flat shovel, of course this procedure is in the early developement stages yet, and can send some people cross eyed if you hit them too hard! This face is the result of the midwife using butter pats instead of forceps during a difficult birth! The midwife took one look at the baby, and then, slapped the mother! There are unconfirmed stories that when Greta was born, she screeched like an owl and shot up the curtains, and it took three days to coax her down with a banana, first of all, they tried a yellow banana, but eventually coaxed her down with a green one! Apparently, her mother Malena was quite disappointed because she'd been hoping for a girl, but decided to make the best of bad situation and took the child home with her in a puppy cage!

Weird little oik!

You're right on course there, whenever we see 'false flag events' there always seem to be the odd shoe lying around somewhere in the immediate area! Going slightly off course her, but didn't they find Sarah Payne's shoe and her dress, in a field, before they found that poor little soul's body? I genuinely think that Roy Whiting was set up by some satanist / pedo group as a patsy to take the fall for the death of that poor little girl! I know Whiting was no angel and already had a history of abduction, but who better to set up for a fall than someone like him? Sarah's painting hangs in her old school Burhill Primary School, Hersham, Walton on Thames. The painting seems weird for an 8 year old {or maybe even younger at the time she painted it} it's very creepy to say the least, how the fuck would a youngster like Sarah come up with something like that?

Mate, maybe you're on to something there, the more you look at this, the more weird it becomes, well spotted!

That's a really Weird thing isn't it?

Nicola Bulley? now where do I know that name from? she sounds familiar to me, but I can't quite put my finger on it Was she on Britain's got talent?

An Alarmageddon? stuff this people, Armageddon out of here pronto, follow me, the last one to the shelter is an ash hole! , webtrekker, webtrekker, wait up mate, I gotta go back for me tortoise!

Good thinking Batman, it worked out well for them with the mask wearing, I still see dorks wondering about with masks on, my neighbour, in his eighties, still wears a black face mask and black gloves, I call him the' Ninfield Ninja' after our area of Brighton! I think 'Maskitis' never went away for a lot of sheep, all the pricks who got 'pricked' are dropping like flies, and still have complete trust in those manipulative bastards! If they were to be told 'We're going to drop a few harmless bombs on your town / city just as an emergency exercise', the wankers would go along with it without question! Yesterday I read somewhere that there are fears that Putin is going to invade the U.K. I was so scared I haven't slept all night Well, we're having a mini break for a couple of days next week, it's non refundable so I hope it doesn't happen before we go, my wife and the dog will be so disappointed if it gets cancelled now!

Just a few mug shots

Charles, Camilla and Princess Anne have been spotted at Sandringham rehearsing for the forthcoming Coronation, Camilla and Anne looked resplendent considering they'd just got back from a canter around the estate! Miserable looking bastard, he was up in court last week for breaking into a smile, but the judge said AS IT WAS HIS FIRST OFFENCE he'd let him off with a caution on that particular offence, but, if he ever got caught smiling again,' he would throw the book at him'! Chas said that it would not happen again!

I'm amazed at this word 'GIFTED' the pope 'gifts' parts of the cross, the 'queen' ' Goat Legged Lizzie' 'gifted' 'ROYAL'? jewellery to different lackies and hangers on, how can you 'GIFT' anything that actually belongs to the people, and isn't yours to 'GIFT' in the first place? The cunts are taking us for cunts, and have done since the beginning, they always had the sheep under control! I took my wife and her friend to Windsor on Monday and treated us all to a meal i n 'the piper art bar' pub because they were 'dog friendly' and I think I fell in love with the girl who served us! We went past a Royal Souvenir shop and I popped in and asked the snooty bitch serving if they sold Prince Charles dartboards? She said 'do you mean King Charles'? I said 'when was the coronation then? or are you talking about spaniels now'? Anyway, she never had any dartboards, which was a shame, I'd have enjoyed throwing darts at that all day long! Remember the game 'Pin the tail on the Donkey'? We could update that game with a dartboard and call it 'Pin the ears back on a tosser'!

Harry Mount? isn't that a nickname for Meghan Markle? Guess which one wears the spurs, and which one wears the bridle? Big H loved his soap stars didn't he? Big H was seeing her in 2015, Jenna- Colman, another one who couldn't act!

That teacher needs hanging by his bollocks from a flag pole, if indeed he has any bollocks of course, mentally bullying kids must be his bag!

My sister Jim laughed her bollocks off at this!

A few years ago I started a chicken farm and bought in 10.000 day old chicks to grown on to full grown chickens, they all died, yes the whole 10.000 of them, just turned their toes up overnight of course my wife blamed me, she said 'I told you at the time you'd planted them too deep'! I asked Farmer Palmer next door who'd sold then to me how you told the sex of chicks at a day old? and he gave me a very good piece of advice 'What you does lad, you puts up a long perch six inches orf the ground see, then you stick a load of chicks on it and let 'em get their balance, roight'? I said 'O.K., then what'? He said 'this is the clever bit, you get's a Zippo light and you runs the flame under their arses in one steady, roight ter left sweep, any who jumps orf are cocks, and any that stays on, are obviously cunts'!

Does that mean we won't have to get up so early on the 24th April?

I bought an inflatable doll for 380 quid, inflated it and ten minutes later it was flat, once again I inflated it and ten minutes later it was flat again! I'm a pensioner, oh sorry, senior citizen, and I couldn't afford to throw that sort of money away, so, I returned it to the shop with a note explaining that it kept going down on me! They rang me up, to apologise, I thought, but oh no, they said 'If it keeps going down on you, we've sent you the deluxe model by mistake, and you owe US another 100 quid'! I suppose I should have expected that really, the way inflation is going these days! I tell you what, it wasn't only the doll that was deflated, my mood was lower than a shit house on a submarine!

What's really wrong with inbreeding anyway?, it's a bit like incest really, and it's a game all the family can play, 'Royal Families' who play together, prey together! By the way, 'PREY' IS NOT a misprint!

Heather is on the plane today, she's not flying anywhere, she's just taking 5mm off her knee before she puts the Cuprinol on it!

I thought that in this instance at least, the Cabbage thought he was the King?