Mr Crabtree

As an Australian by birth, he is now back down under, for good this time, and when he saw the doctor, the doctor showed him the Xray and said, in Rolf's own immortal words, 'Can you guess what it is yet'? 'oh, and Rolf, don't bother changing you shirt, that one will see you out, cobber'! Apparently, Rolf's coffin was carried by 'TWO LITTLE BOYS'! How many kids did he fool with his 'Jake the peg' thing, and was it really 'an extra leg'?

Thanks, but read the rest mate, she was fucking useless!

I went to one a few years back and told her I felt as if I were a packet of round cheesey biscuits with loads of tiny perforations punched into me, she said 'you're crackers mate' she's good ain't she? Seriously though, I got attacked and robbed one night whilst driving a late night bus, and ended up seeing a shrink, a Councellor, or whatever her monicker was. She just sat there, not taking notes, just nodding her head and ever few minutes saying 'UH HUH, UH HUH, and nodding sagely, she'd have made more money as an Elvis impersonator! I soon knocked those visits on the head believe me! She was about as supportive as a concrete parachute!

OLD SCHOOL ME, PIC ABOVE IS ME OFF TO GET MY O.B.E. DRESS DOWN SUNDAY, ME IN CASUAL MODE! STYLE ALWAYS SHOWS THROUGH, IF YOU'VE GOT IT, FLAUNT IT! I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A BIT OF A SWANKER THOUGH, I'VE HEARD PEOPLE SAY AS I WALK BY 'THERE HE GOES, THE SWANKER'!

My uncle Adolf was always dressed up as an Admiral in the Swiss Navy, but after a while his son Teddy, who was a long distance swimmer in the Sahara Desert, AND the President of the Sahara Desert Watersports society, convinced him that Switzerland was landlocked and had no navy! Anyone interested in purchasing a cheap U boat?

I sincerely hope it's not by train or plane, neither are safe modes of transport these days, rail strikes or pilots dropping dead, he'd do better sneaking in by using a small inflatable dinghy, or in the back of a truck maybe!

purrfick!

Thinking back, his name should have warned me that he was a bit dodgy to say the least, 'Rick O'Shay' ? really?

What did you just call me?

Teresa May's hand is as big as Donnie's, and I've never thought of this before, but is she actually a trannie?

Yeah, like that's ever going to happen, the big sharks will carry on cruising, whilst the bottom feeders get hoovered up and put up on public display!

I was sixteen in 1964 and back then I was making £70.00 a week for working 2 minutes a day! The chap across the road from me paid me a tenner a day just to start his car for him so that it was already running by the time he came out of his house, he said it helped him enormously with his busy schedule! He was a smiling faced Irishman, who I later discovered was actually an IRA supergrass hiding out under a false name in the witness protection scheme! He disappeared one day, and unfortunately, so did my tenner a day!

'the 'schofe' was a pain in the arse years ago too, so, not a new hobby then?

Sorry, I didn't mean to derail you, or the topic, which is an important thing to look at, another piece to add to the large jigsaw of understanding what's really going on under our very noses!

Yes, but all joking apart we're happy enough, and the only couple out of our bunch of old mates we had when we married who're still together, although most of them said we wouldn't last six months, we've proved 'em wrong! My wife keeps in touch with them through 'FACEFUCK' or at least some site that should be called that! I won't even touch that site, it's the modern equivalent of a nosey bastard looking through a keyhole to see what's going on! Not one of the old gang has left our little market town in the Midlands, when I told them we were moving to Brighton, they looked at me as if I were Marco Polo { the man who invented the mint with the hole }! 'Fuck me mate, that's hundreds of miles away, you won't like it there, you won't know anyone, it's full of 'queers', you'll soon come back'! was the general consensus! This from people who live in a small market town full of sheep shaggers anyway! We've only been back for weddings or funerals, oh, and one Christening!

There speaks a married man, I'm the responsible one in our marriage, if anything goes wrong, apparently, I'm responsible in some way or other, from WW2 {although I wasn't born until 1948 } through to, well, through to whatever really! A husbands life, is full of strife, with tears of pain and sorrow, if you think today's been bad, just wait until tomorrow! When we first got married, we were very, very happy, and then, on the way to the wedding reception 43 years we've been married, and it only seems like yesterday, if it was tomorrow, I don't think I'd bother turning up! The registrar said 'do you take this woman'? I said 'would you'? he said 'no, not really' and I said 'well, why try and palm her off on me then'?

I agree, and this is probably a very mild recollection compared to many, but John Lennon's 'Working Class Hero' had that affect on me, and I drove my poor wife mad by keep replaying it over and over in the pit that I euphemistically called the spare bedroom!

I saw a bloke in Asda, high heeled shoes, he was wearing what was obviously a wig, and he'd slapped garish makeup all over his 'Fizzog' and big red painted lips like Debbie Ash, I took one look and decided to take a pic, because when I told my wife she would only have said 'he couldn't be that bad surely'? Well, here he is, the clown, no wonder everyone was staring at him!

I used to drink in a lovely little Jewish pub, 'The Kosher Horses' in Golder's Green! The landlord used to have regular happy minutes, every Wednesday evening 20.00 hrs to 20.01 hrs! I remember every Friday night they'd have a 'Mystery pub visit' in a hired coach, everyone put a pound in the kitty and had to guess which pub it would that Friday, the winner got the kitty! That jammy coach driver must have been a Clairvoyant, he won the 54 quid kitty every week, I still can't figure out how he did it? I remember that he was the landlord's brother, but, he always offered his services for free, so really he did deserve to win it! He was an animal lover too, his brother told me all his money went on old and sick racehorses and greyhounds! What a lovely man he must have been 'eh?

I love Andrew's channel, and if you can stay awake long enough, and get past the droning voice, he has a few gems and nuggets to impart to us!

Do you have to have your receipt scanned at the exit like they do at some Sainsburys? A step or two up from Soylent Green, what if we spread the rumour that Asylum Seekers taste like chicken? The streets and the beaches would suddenly be as empty as a politician's promises! That isn't racist, it's actually realist!

I LOVE IT!

Didn't know where to post this but it's funny, King Charles 'beheaded'! When will they learn that Nobody wants them?

It's definately a strange old world mate, my son in law is Jewish, so my grandchildren are part Jewish too, he doesn't push it though, the last time he was in a Synagogue was his Bar Mitzvah, he's in his forties now, but his Ma and Pa are very Jewish in their ways and they feel the same about people who are 'not like us'! Graeme hasn't got a racist bone in his body, neither have the kids or my daughter, so they've done a good job there!

All my time in Balsall Heath, and fifteen years at British Leyland in Longbridge Birmingham, I never saw any of that, the people I was talking about were the Windrush generation, not the rubber dinghy crowd of flotsam and jetsam masquerading as 'poor refugees fleeing persecution' who we're told need help, by our caring, sharing government! I can see a bloodbath occurring in the not too distant future, and NO, I DID NOT, NOR DO NOT, FALL FOR THE UKRAINE PROPAGANDA BULLSHIT EITHER!