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Mr Crabtree

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Status Updates posted by Mr Crabtree

  1. I wonder if all these missing women believed to have fallen into the water, Nicola Bulley, Gaynor Lord, Clare Marshall, and now 80 year old Gloria Clarke, missing since New Year's Eve and feared to have fallen in the River Tees, are in some way being used to push the C.C.T.V. narrative? If we had more cameras everyone would be a lot safer scenario🤔

    1. Grumpy Owl

      Grumpy Owl

      Maybe people would be safer if there were fewer rivers? 🤨


      Strange though that the big 'headline stories' always involve women.

  2. My wife was watching Xmas songs and videos on tv while I cooked the Sunday dinner, and I remembered a post I did last xmas. They build you up with xmas songs and then, in the breaks they knock you back down again with adverts about funeral plans, homelessness at xmas, cancer treatment, etc. They never, ever, miss an opportunity to fuck with your head!

    1. Grumpy Owl

      Grumpy Owl

      Thankfully I only get to see 'telly' when I'm at my parents' over Christmas, but it's the same tired 'modus operandi' every year. Prior to Christmas Day, adverts are all for big supermarkets encouraging people to buy huge amounts of food. From Christmas Day onwards, any mention of Christmas disappears, and adverts are replaced with "Boxing Day sales", for sofas, beds, carpets, kitchens etc. As well as the inevitable 'holidays' adverts. Meanwhile on the lesser-viewed channels, its all charity appeals and begging for donations.

  3. Don't take this as racist, but I was in London road  Brighton today visiting the open market,  and listening to the foreign languages going on all around me I thought, 'I'm saving myself a lot of money really because I don't need to travel abroad these days to hear strange accents and languages'! Then I took it a stage further by thinking 'unless of course I wanted to hear an English accent, then I'd have to head off to Spain or somewhere'!🤔 I went to a dog show on Sunday, mainly for old times sake { And because my wife insisted I took her and her friend, our little dog and her friend's Pomeranian' }! I went to get the coffees and a girl in front of me was moaning because there was no vegan options in the food on offer🤨 I said 'just compromise love, grab another vegan and eat them'!🫢 She was all of about 16 years old and she looked me up and down and said 'It's not a dog show you should be visiting 'Pops' it's a mental health clinic, it's attitudes like yours that Euthanasia was designed for'! 🥴 These are the future citizens of our planet,🫣

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Certified Green of Heart

      Certified Green of Heart

      That was an intelligent answer for such a young girl, and clearly developing some nicely put language, apart from shortening your life for you maybe😋😇, but from your side, you just fell silent did you and aghast/ bemused?....I like vegans as I am one, but I'm just curious, you became stuck for words at this point??

      unusual for Mr Crabtree, hehe.


      //Alternative Ending//

      Crabtree:- Nothing about my dish tickles your fancy then my love? (said Mr Tickle....)

      [Note:- I am Cartooning you as to not make this appear too serious] 😉

      Girl:- No Siree not and I don't eat fish you should know that, and if I knew your name was MrCrabTree, Mr Crabtree, I would be up in arms like the Crab who failed to make it down to the shore.....Seaweed however is a vegan delicacy sometimes washed up in such events, so you can eat that, so fear not Mister, there is room at the Inn for you too, even you!... Be Kind to All, even those who are suffering over extended youthfulness.... Thankyou for your time Sir, I am swanning off now, proud by my ways....


    3. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      Couldn't say much in reply really, I had a mouthful of their last available vegan pizza { not}, in reality, I was flabbergasted { my flabber had never been so gasted in my life, even my carer was surprised by my lack of verbal repartee}🤔 but she did loosen the straps on my straitjacket ever so slightly!🤫

      Talking of dogs, we're picking up our new Bosnian rescue dog as a companion for our Romanian rescue dog Pablo in about two weeks! We may be having to travel to Dover to the quarantine kennels, or, hopefully meet the dog transporter at an M25 services nearer to home it's not confirmed yet! She's only 12 months old, so, hopefully some of Pablo's nice traits will rub off on her👍 Anyway, have a good week and thanks for making me smile!🤭

    4. webtrekker


      Ah yes, rescue dogs, don't you just love 'em!


      I fondly remember our first rescue dog back in '67. She was a Russian Mongrel named 'Laika' and was a gift from heaven ... literally ... as she dropped into our back yard from the Sputnik 2 capsule as it plummeted to Earth.


      The world always wondered what happened to her. The Russkies said she overheated and died as in those days no plans had ever been made for de-orbit, but we just kept schtum and never enlightened them.


      She lived to a ripe old age. Must have been all that clean air they have in Space that kept her in good health.




  4. Apparently 'King' Charlie Chuckles is descended from 'Vlad the Impaler', I wonder if that's why 'Turbine Ears' has a home in Romania? and that begs the question in my mind, did Jimmy So-Vile supply kids for the 'Royals' to drink their blood? or, perhaps I'm just ready to be fitted with my straitjacket after all?🤔 This is a serious thought in my mind at the moment, so I've decided to put it out there!🤔

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. alexa



      or, perhaps I'm just ready to be fitted with my straitjacket after all? 


      Well if this is the case, I definitely need to be as these are my thoughts exactly. 👍

    3. Kelli


      I would say 'yes' to both - David Icke has addressed both of these questions in his books and written that Chuck's family ties to Vlad are well documented. Chuck himself has said that he often travels to Romania - formerly Transylvania - to paint the 'scenery'. In Everything you need to know... David wrote that Vlad the Impaler was related to the 'Windsors' through the late Queen Elizabeth's grandmother, Mary of Tek.


      And since Saville definitely was supplying political elites with children, and since he had unfettered access to the royal's many palaces, and reportedly was able to roam around unaccompanied at will, I don't think it's a huge stretch to imagine that he was supplying kids to them as well. As David pointed out, no-one is allowed to get close to the royal family without British intelligence knowing everything about them - yet Saville was allowed very close access to the royals and to Prime Ministers Heath & Thatcher, at the time that police KNEW he was a prolific abuser of children? 



    4. alexa


      The Royals are all parasites in more ways than one.


      Dark Prince: The True Story of Vlad the impaler (2000) | Full Movie | Rudolf Martin | Jane March.



      It's a good movie 👍

  5. I got badly stung by some bees today, £16.95 for a small jar of honey, I won't be going there again anytime soon, no wonder robbers in cartoons always wear stripey tops!🤔

  6. I'm pleased to see we never had much coverage of the death of 'Pauline O'Grady' , I feel sorry when anyone dies, but I never liked him, and always thought that his smiles never reached as far as his eyes and there was something essentially false about his Mr nice guy image! My wife's friend is thoroughly convinced that he did 'For the love of dogs' totally free and never took a penny in wages from the show!🤔Maybe that's why he only left just over six million quid in his estate? He was the darling of many a sheep, but as I said, there was a falseness to him that put me off him, my wife thinks I must be one of the very few who didn't like him 'because most people did, and it was only weirdo's that didn't'!🤔

    1. DaleP


      Was she trying to tell you something in a round about way? I wonder... 🤔

    2. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      Yeah probably, but I can't imagine what she's trying to imply?🤔

    3. Anti Facts Sir

      Anti Facts Sir

      ITV rolled out the sickbags over the weekend...endless repeats of For The Love of Paul O'Grady and compilations of the Dog programmes he did.


      Wasn't there a petition to have some sort of PoG statue somewhere for services to the Drag...sorry Dog industry....or was that an April Fools?

  7. After a break of about sixty years I've decided to re read George Orwell's books, 'The road to Wigan pier' and 'Down and out in Paris and London' so I've purchased a couple of used copies from Ebay! I want to see what a different take I'll have on them  after first reading them around sixty years ago when I was a teenager! I've recently re read 'The ragged Trousered Philanthropists' by Robert Tressell  [real name Robert Noonan ] and thoroughly enjoyed it! 👍

  8. I was told recently that I can't be a real man because I detest football and everything to do with it, So that means that for the last 74 years I've been living a lie🤔 I blame me muvver for not telling me who or what I really am!😠

    1. DaleP


      You know what I'd do? I'd put on a blond curly wig, borrow a lipstick from your misses and see this person who told you. Tell him "ayi, you were right, I have come out and I'm free" 😁

  9. I was just thinking that why do people race about like headless chickens when Xmas approaches, spending money they can't afford, to buy presents for people they don't really like anyway or don't see very often? My own sister in law always insisted on having a receipt to go with whatever present people gave her! She always had the attitude that she wouldn't be seen dead in a pound shop or using the bus service, she was exactly like the family's very own version of Mrs Hyacinth Bucket! Her Mother and Father had a smallholding and were as down to earth as anyone could ever be, but to her way of thinking everything had to be done with a certain Panache!🤔

    1. webtrekker


      I've been using my Donor Card to pay for presents this Christmas. Everything costs an arm and a leg! 😋




    2. Mr Crabtree
    3. Grumpy Owl

      Grumpy Owl

      People have been socially engineered for years to believe that Christmas is all about spending money to buy gifts for people, and then to expect gifts in return. People have forgotten what Christmas is really all about, it's just another mass corporate consumerism frenzy.
      The best gift of all is to be able to have a couple of days away from work and spend time with your family, friends and loved ones.

  10. My friend just rang me from Birmingham to tell me he'd arrived back home from visiting us here in Brighton, he sounded knackered and I asked him how long it took him? He said ten and a half hours because he was held up by the roadworks where they're putting in a new asylum seekers lane!🤫

  11. A news item I saw today mentions a man in Thailand gored to death by a Boar he'd raised since it was a piglet, the same news feed also mentioned a man trampled to death by a cow in a street in Wales, the cow also brought a train service to a halt when it got onto a railway line! Is this a coincidence? two articles about rampant animals, or is it another notch in the drive to stop us eating meat?

  12. I've just been looking at some info on Jeremy Bentham,  Born= 1748 Died=1832 who came up with the idea of the PANOPTICON type prison where to quote Jeremy 'For grinding rogues honest, and idle men industrious'! I wonder, if he'd been born in 1948 instead of 1748 what position would he have held in the New World Order? 

  13. I tried to get to sleep the other night and my wife suggested counting sheep, so I started to, then, I realised they were all wearing masks!😷  Then I decided to think about, and name how many 'celebs' were vax enablers, I remember getting up to around 100,000, and then I must have nodded off🤔 But then I had nightmares about masked sheep being chased all over a large field by gangs of midgets dressed as jars of mint sauce!😲

  14. Some months ago, I purchased a sealed DVD from Ebay called 'ONE BY ONE' featuring the late Rik Mayall, put it the shelf with my other DVD's and promptly forgot about it, until now!

    The acting isn't of Shakespearian quality, but the theme of the story had me totally agreeing with the story line they were pushing, N.W.O. climate change, culling millions of surplus citizens by mass genocide, sterilization, racism, car ownership, eugenics, destroying 13 out of every 14 lives to reduce the world population by 6.5 billion, Prince Philip wanting to come back as a deadly virus, twin towers etc. Has anyone else got any thoughts on this DVD they'd like to share ?🤔

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. sickofallthebollocks


      Imo - like Legion says - amazing to have Rik Mayall in the film, what a great thing that was, but a completely fucking dire film, great message in there about the shit that goes on but what a terrible, badly acted, badly scripted, produced and terribly directed piece of crap.  (I'm very sorry to say)  It's similar to a really bad episode of eastenders/hollyoaks or the ilk - terrible!
      Yes - it really is THAT bad!  

    3. legion



      Perhaps the viewership of such soaps were the target audience..? 

        It's similar to a really bad episode of eastenders/hollyoaks or the ilk - terrible!" 

    4. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      At least the 'walls' didn't move like they did in the old t v series 'Prisoner Cell Block H' my mother was addicted to that soap!🤭 But it must be said the acting was as bad as it could ever get!


  15. I feel silly talking about this, but something that really boils my piss are stupid 'official speak' phrases that people take in, swallow wholesale then start spouting it themselves!

    Our friend has a twenty eight year old daughter who's in a gay relationship and her and her girlfriend live with our friend and her husband. Whenever her daughter can't get her own way, she often headbutts the doors, walls etc, and several times she's ended up in secure hospital care and usually stops talking to anyone, but texts them instead, even if they're sitting next to her!🤔 The 'official' explanation they've given our friend is your daughter is 'in none verbal mode' Old fashioned thicko's like me remember this as 'not in a talkative mood'! Why doesn't anyone like our friend realise that this is yet another form of controlling people's thoughts and actions to conform to the 'New Normal'? It's like giving them new 'Buzz Words' and our friend at least, loves these silly catchphrases and takes to them like a duck to water! Meanwhile her daughter has taken over their household in a controlling manner, yesterday for instance our friend who's fifty eight years old and has hardly left ever Brighton  came with us to Eastbourne for the day, and as we were driving back her 'None Verbal' daughter rang her demanding to know 'Where the hell are you'? She said driving back from Eastbourne and her daughter said 'well move yourself, I AM NOT YOUR OFFICIAL DOG SITTER'! and then cut the phone call short! I couldn't help saying 'she's not so none verbal now, is she'? She's being mollycoddled by the health people, her girlfriend and both her parents. Her four brothers are not allowed to visit the house, on her express orders, and she's told her parents she needs them to be in bed by ten thirty so that her and her girlfriend can have a good night's sleep with no household noise to annoy them! 

    1. TetraG


      oh boy......I mean girl, girl girl girl, as Eminem says in one of his songs, hehe. 


      I am in "non type-ative mood" atm sorry man.....but I would like to ask whose dog is being baby sitted or dog sitted?


      Is it the 58 year old that likes these ALTERNATIVE WOKE PHRASES then? or whoever takes to them like a crab to water, the one who you say takes to it as would a duck to water I mean? That one? The one that went to Eastbourne with you likes phrases the establishment invent as well as the daughter of hers? 🙃🙂

    2. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      Our friend's dog! She got it from a zoo, there was only one animal in the entire zoo, the rest were cardboard cut outs of elephants, tigers etc, and two stuffed penguins, her dog was the only living animal in there, it was a 'SHIT ZOO'!🤭🤫

    3. Bombadil


      Mr Crabtree that is the cheesiest joke I have heard in a long time!!! Keep it up though. I enjoy your jokes a lot!

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