Jump to content

Mr Crabtree

  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Status Updates posted by Mr Crabtree

  1. After a break of about sixty years I've decided to re read George Orwell's books, 'The road to Wigan pier' and 'Down and out in Paris and London' so I've purchased a couple of used copies from Ebay! I want to see what a different take I'll have on them  after first reading them around sixty years ago when I was a teenager! I've recently re read 'The ragged Trousered Philanthropists' by Robert Tressell  [real name Robert Noonan ] and thoroughly enjoyed it! 👍

  2. I was told recently that I can't be a real man because I detest football and everything to do with it, So that means that for the last 74 years I've been living a lie🤔 I blame me muvver for not telling me who or what I really am!😠

    1. DaleP


      You know what I'd do? I'd put on a blond curly wig, borrow a lipstick from your misses and see this person who told you. Tell him "ayi, you were right, I have come out and I'm free" 😁

  3. I was just thinking that why do people race about like headless chickens when Xmas approaches, spending money they can't afford, to buy presents for people they don't really like anyway or don't see very often? My own sister in law always insisted on having a receipt to go with whatever present people gave her! She always had the attitude that she wouldn't be seen dead in a pound shop or using the bus service, she was exactly like the family's very own version of Mrs Hyacinth Bucket! Her Mother and Father had a smallholding and were as down to earth as anyone could ever be, but to her way of thinking everything had to be done with a certain Panache!🤔

    1. webtrekker


      I've been using my Donor Card to pay for presents this Christmas. Everything costs an arm and a leg! 😋




    2. Mr Crabtree
    3. Grumpy Owl

      Grumpy Owl

      People have been socially engineered for years to believe that Christmas is all about spending money to buy gifts for people, and then to expect gifts in return. People have forgotten what Christmas is really all about, it's just another mass corporate consumerism frenzy.
      The best gift of all is to be able to have a couple of days away from work and spend time with your family, friends and loved ones.

  4. My friend just rang me from Birmingham to tell me he'd arrived back home from visiting us here in Brighton, he sounded knackered and I asked him how long it took him? He said ten and a half hours because he was held up by the roadworks where they're putting in a new asylum seekers lane!🤫

  5. A news item I saw today mentions a man in Thailand gored to death by a Boar he'd raised since it was a piglet, the same news feed also mentioned a man trampled to death by a cow in a street in Wales, the cow also brought a train service to a halt when it got onto a railway line! Is this a coincidence? two articles about rampant animals, or is it another notch in the drive to stop us eating meat?

  6. I've just been looking at some info on Jeremy Bentham,  Born= 1748 Died=1832 who came up with the idea of the PANOPTICON type prison where to quote Jeremy 'For grinding rogues honest, and idle men industrious'! I wonder, if he'd been born in 1948 instead of 1748 what position would he have held in the New World Order? 

  7. I tried to get to sleep the other night and my wife suggested counting sheep, so I started to, then, I realised they were all wearing masks!😷  Then I decided to think about, and name how many 'celebs' were vax enablers, I remember getting up to around 100,000, and then I must have nodded off🤔 But then I had nightmares about masked sheep being chased all over a large field by gangs of midgets dressed as jars of mint sauce!😲

  8. Some months ago, I purchased a sealed DVD from Ebay called 'ONE BY ONE' featuring the late Rik Mayall, put it the shelf with my other DVD's and promptly forgot about it, until now!

    The acting isn't of Shakespearian quality, but the theme of the story had me totally agreeing with the story line they were pushing, N.W.O. climate change, culling millions of surplus citizens by mass genocide, sterilization, racism, car ownership, eugenics, destroying 13 out of every 14 lives to reduce the world population by 6.5 billion, Prince Philip wanting to come back as a deadly virus, twin towers etc. Has anyone else got any thoughts on this DVD they'd like to share ?🤔

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. sickofallthebollocks


      Imo - like Legion says - amazing to have Rik Mayall in the film, what a great thing that was, but a completely fucking dire film, great message in there about the shit that goes on but what a terrible, badly acted, badly scripted, produced and terribly directed piece of crap.  (I'm very sorry to say)  It's similar to a really bad episode of eastenders/hollyoaks or the ilk - terrible!
      Yes - it really is THAT bad!  

    3. legion



      Perhaps the viewership of such soaps were the target audience..? 

        It's similar to a really bad episode of eastenders/hollyoaks or the ilk - terrible!" 

    4. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      At least the 'walls' didn't move like they did in the old t v series 'Prisoner Cell Block H' my mother was addicted to that soap!🤭 But it must be said the acting was as bad as it could ever get!


  9. I feel silly talking about this, but something that really boils my piss are stupid 'official speak' phrases that people take in, swallow wholesale then start spouting it themselves!

    Our friend has a twenty eight year old daughter who's in a gay relationship and her and her girlfriend live with our friend and her husband. Whenever her daughter can't get her own way, she often headbutts the doors, walls etc, and several times she's ended up in secure hospital care and usually stops talking to anyone, but texts them instead, even if they're sitting next to her!🤔 The 'official' explanation they've given our friend is your daughter is 'in none verbal mode' Old fashioned thicko's like me remember this as 'not in a talkative mood'! Why doesn't anyone like our friend realise that this is yet another form of controlling people's thoughts and actions to conform to the 'New Normal'? It's like giving them new 'Buzz Words' and our friend at least, loves these silly catchphrases and takes to them like a duck to water! Meanwhile her daughter has taken over their household in a controlling manner, yesterday for instance our friend who's fifty eight years old and has hardly left ever Brighton  came with us to Eastbourne for the day, and as we were driving back her 'None Verbal' daughter rang her demanding to know 'Where the hell are you'? She said driving back from Eastbourne and her daughter said 'well move yourself, I AM NOT YOUR OFFICIAL DOG SITTER'! and then cut the phone call short! I couldn't help saying 'she's not so none verbal now, is she'? She's being mollycoddled by the health people, her girlfriend and both her parents. Her four brothers are not allowed to visit the house, on her express orders, and she's told her parents she needs them to be in bed by ten thirty so that her and her girlfriend can have a good night's sleep with no household noise to annoy them! 

    1. TetraG


      oh boy......I mean girl, girl girl girl, as Eminem says in one of his songs, hehe. 


      I am in "non type-ative mood" atm sorry man.....but I would like to ask whose dog is being baby sitted or dog sitted?


      Is it the 58 year old that likes these ALTERNATIVE WOKE PHRASES then? or whoever takes to them like a crab to water, the one who you say takes to it as would a duck to water I mean? That one? The one that went to Eastbourne with you likes phrases the establishment invent as well as the daughter of hers? 🙃🙂

    2. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      Our friend's dog! She got it from a zoo, there was only one animal in the entire zoo, the rest were cardboard cut outs of elephants, tigers etc, and two stuffed penguins, her dog was the only living animal in there, it was a 'SHIT ZOO'!🤭🤫

    3. Bombadil


      Mr Crabtree that is the cheesiest joke I have heard in a long time!!! Keep it up though. I enjoy your jokes a lot!

  • Create New...