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Fluke

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Status Updates posted by Fluke

  1. Fluke

    I brought some snake oil that's supposed to be good for (everything) it cost me £2500. So far it hasn't been working..have I been conned? What I don't understand is...it never says which type of snake! Just "snake oil" the product description 🤔

    1. webtrekker

      webtrekker

      I don't think you will have been conned, unless it isn't genuine Nigerian Snake Oil.

    2. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      Snake oil is absolutely useless, I always cook my snakes in an air fryer, much less greasy and far more crispy👍 Hope this helps? I used to love frog legs until I saw these pics,

      download(65).jpg.92dd2c2d8adda3595740dd6939a3e325.jpgdownload(66).jpg.70eda1e43bdd168f12c87c96205ee0bb.jpg

      I haven't eaten one since!🫣

      I once ate some frog fingers, yuck, they were green and tasted like pork, I truly believe they were actually Kermit The Frog's fingers!

      muppets-kermit.gif.6078aa0b6a74e3e0c711ded09dd39380.gif

       

  2. Fluke

    It's actually annoying having so much money and being so rich. Hello poor people!

  3. Fluke

    Who else likes Rachel Stevens?

    1. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      I USED TO BE QUITE KEEN ON SHAKIN' STEVENS, DOES THAT COUNT?

      download(94).jpg.a9b2920869a9fba96009b5c14208a2f9.jpg

       

      That all stopped when I found out

      what went on behind the GREEN DOOR!🫣

      download(95).jpg.c11d75d0e14a1299b578e5174e0bb150.jpg

       

      🫣🤫🙄

  4. Fluke

    Kind of ironic the forum turns blue on st Paddy's dad 😂

  5. Fluke

    These days I'm often seen at the bus stop with an Asda bag and Lidl lager, my jeans up to my ankles with white trainers. I twitch nervously and scream, scaring passes by. 

  6. Fluke

    Anyone meeting at bohemian grove again this year? Let me know. 

    1. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      Oh do come, it'll be a bit of a H- OWL!🤫

    2. Fluke

      Fluke

      Was you there last time? I saw George bush naked hiding behind a tree

    3. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      Sorry no I wasn't, I had a meeting at the Grand Lodge and couldn't make it, but, the time before that I  saw Barack and Michelle running around naked and showing their willies to everyone, and also that dirty bitch Hilary Clinton taking a crap in the woods behind Moloch the great owl! 

      It was the same year that Theresa May was 'pulling the train' because Katie Price couldn't get there due to having her box relined, a simple procedure involving sticking a leg of mutton up there, then simply sliding the bone out of the middle, and you're good to go for at least twenty thousand more shags!

      Katie has a loyalty card, and collects the stamps, as well as engagement rings!👍 

  7. Fluke

    25th century here we come!

  8. Fluke

    Happy new year all :)

    1. webtrekker

      webtrekker

      Happy New Year! Let's plan for the worst, but hope for the best!

  9. Fluke

    Got an awful feeling about tomorrow. Be careful anyone travelling to major cities in UK. 

  10. Fluke

    Hope everyone has had a good Christmas. I've been on me own, chain-smoking roll-ups and drinking Stella. I had a pot noodle for my Christmas dinner. And was just waiting reruns of Jeremy Kyle show from 2006. Appy days

  11. Fluke

    Is there an ethical alternative to adrenochrome? 

  12. Fluke

    Speaking of age reversal and immortality i haven't heard about saint Germain for a while. Hope he is ok 🙏 

    1. Oakwise

      Oakwise

      Since covid he goes by St Terrain.

  13. Fluke

    Who's Rachel Stevens ??

  14. Fluke

    Who dares me to start another aging/ immortality thread in the occult section? 😂 Only joking. 

    1. webtrekker

      webtrekker

      No way!

       

      If you do that, then I'll start another Flat Earth thread! 😋

  15. Fluke

    I have now merged with the machine. 

  16. Fluke

    Everyone's super angry this week especially today 😠 

    1. peter

      peter

      It must be the olympics

  17. Fluke

    It is my sincerest hope that intelligence continues to thrive in this part of the galaxy. 

    1. webtrekker

      webtrekker

      I wasn't aware it had even taken foot here!

    2. Fluke

      Fluke

      In the year 2500. 

  18. Fluke

    Anyone else think UK should bring back the nee-nawww for emergency vehicles? I hear it sometimes on ambulances in London and I think fire brigade. But it seems to be dying. Next they'll be replacing the bobby traditional tall hat. 

    1. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      True story, when I

       

    2. Fluke

      Fluke

      It's called two tone I think 

    3. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      download.png.08ad72a08ceddaf36b86c6ab4fc5dc7a.png

       

      It must be on digital, because if it was on a record the needle would skid as they slammed around corners?

  19. Fluke

    just thought I'd take this opportunity to say happy international womens day.

     

     

    1. Certified Green of Heart

      Certified Green of Heart

      A not very unique (but what the hell, ok a quite unique- were it not so ordinary) insight into giving and sharing, thankyou! 😉

       

      Thankyou women everywhere, even when I have never seen one in my life, come closer than one meter.

    2. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      Interesting statistic = Mother's Day comes exactly 9 months after Father's Day, perhaps that's why there are so many mothers on the planet! Just a thought!🤔 

  20. Fluke

    Just had a letter through from the UK army asking me to join, men aged between 18-35. Do you think if I claim getting shot at gives me anxiety they'll let me off conscription? I'd rather stay at home and be a house wife.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Certified Green of Heart

      Certified Green of Heart

      Grumpy Owl posted this BBC link** mentioning Call Up Rhetoric from Army, fourth post down in this DIF recent thread primarily about DoomsDay Clock:

      https://forum.davidicke.com/index.php?/topic/34111-keep-them-in-a-constant-state-of-fear/&do=findComment&comment=529627

      https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68086188 **

    3. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      I wonder, do you think that these new 'asylum seekers' will be asked, or invited, to serve their 'new country' in any military sense?  I'll bet they're all chomping at the bit to prove their loyalty to their new king and cuntry { NOT A TYPPO BY THE WAY }🤔 And what's the truth about Big Ears Wind-Sore becoming a Muslim?

      download(13).jpg.aef2476906f5ce55127a4b6401ce485d.jpg

      Either way, he doesn't need a headdress to look a Right Charlie does he? He couldn't rule a straight line, much less a country inhabited by so many unhappy and very angry citizens!

      My grandad was called up during the 2nd world war, and fought like a tiger, unfortunately it did him no good and he still had to go!🫣

    4. Grumpy Owl

      Grumpy Owl

      Simple really, if they're looking for "men aged between 18-35", then you just 'self-identify' as a 36 year old woman. 😝

  21. Fluke

    Don't know about anyone else my internet is so bad here. I've just applied to get a 5g tower put in my front garden 🙏

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Screamingeagle

      Screamingeagle

      why do you think i was serious 

    3. Fluke

      Fluke

      Well I wasn't sure lol

    4. Mr Crabtree

      Mr Crabtree

      I've had one for a year now, hasn't affected me, or myself at all, we're both happy with it!🤔

  22. Fluke

    Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum. I smell the blood of an Englishman, Be he living, or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to mix my bread.

    1. Oakwise

      Oakwise

      Good job I'm Brythonic then. 

    2. Macnamara

      Macnamara

      so jack swung his axe and brought the beanstalk and the giant crashing down to the ground where the giant died

       

      jack then resolved never to accept magic beans as currency ever again

  23. Fluke

    Hope everyone's safe with storm cieran 🙏🙏🙏 absolutely deadly. Thankfully only an amber warning where I am.

  24. Fluke

    https://odysee.com/@QuantumRhino:9/Died-Suddenly-(2022):2b

  25. Fluke

    Bit windy tonight stay safe all!

    1. legion

      legion

      My garden fence is safe, it can't fall down.

      It's already on the floor since the February storm :0)

       

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