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AndromedaHotshot

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  1. What follows is a poem containing descriptions of and reflections upon some truly dark, horrifying experiences in my personal history, where I believe I witnessed the reality of Earth being converted into the loosh farm many of us believe it to be. Posted here as it contains considerable reflection upon the nature of reality... commentary in italics Work in progress - feedback welcome. DO NOT STEAL or I'll send my demons after you Nigredo Night so endless Stars snuffed out All that there is left is doubt Nought but cinders in my soul Glowing specks of ashen coal Thought is wrested from my mind All that has been left behind Surgically extracted from What’s left of my cranium thoughts were literally 'pulled' from my mind almost before I'd even had a chance to think them, by a powerful unknown alien presence All else shattered All else blown No more, my forever home. Where I once felt warm and safe Ever more the crime scene, Raped. Ripped from innocence’s hold Horror plunders, time unfolds. Only to fold back upon Moments now forever gone, But for what I can recall What there held me in its thrall? Fight or flight, for worse or better There time stopped And there I’m fettered. For an entire day I sat in a trance state not thinking, moving, talking, only 'witnessing' horrors I find it difficult to describe even now As the witness, here I stand If memory I could command Testimony might be made For there I sat, and there I stayed Watching all and seeing naught But the terror that was wrought In the eye that serves the mind Should we look, what might we find? Shadows flick’ring on the wall? IS that really truly all? Frozen was I - locked in trance Not just spooked by moment’s glance. Hours passed away the light ’Til we came to darkest night Fuzzy-headed, came I to, Went about to do the do. Only after, I recalled, what had had me so enthralled To waste away the hours of day Gripped, immobile, locked in place. Visions of the world, so rich Rendered barren, slaved and stripped Everything we may hold dear Given way to grief and fear. Endless torment, endless woe, Friend transmuted into foe I had visions of myself being forced to ritually execute nearly all of my friends Greater foes yet pulling strings Turning people into things Built to serve, but ne’er to thrive Forced ‘gainst will to stay alive Such that they might live to serve Suff’ring e’er more punished nerves With emotions farmed to feed Self-served-selves and endless greed. Packaged, Trafficked, Catalogued If God is Love then where is God? - Was all I could bring myself to think as I sat in the hospital waiting room where my mum had taken me “Allahu Akbar” cried in hope I actually did and all. Practically screamed it. So desperate was I to see sight of God in such desolate surroundings Really? Is he coming? Nope. Doesn’t look much like he is Though the egregore still lives Nourished by the vulgar minds Of men, Their ‘truths’ not yours nor mine. Pompous, wrathful, sore and proud Did I say that all out loud? Still it’s best you you know the truth What it mirrors - most uncouth. Not the God you thought you knew Trust me, please, I swear it’s true Seems that hope is just a lie Is this where she comes to die? OR perhaps, might we just find Nightmares conjured by the mind? Are we saved and need we pray? If we have been, might hope stay? Hope that further ‘mares might be Naught but shadows, taunting me? If they are, might we yet conquer Fear itself, abiding longer? Why then, need we to be saved? Will it not suffice to brave What the world may throw at us? Are we bound to double bluff? This I know, I knew not fear ‘Fore this night of pain and tears Not in truth, perhaps in error Thought I once, I knew it better Than I did, but now I do. Let us pray, lest we eschew Powers that be, and binds of old All for something better sold Keeping bogeymen at bay But to see another day. Either way, our God is Dead Though we may recover yet. Say that all IS real, then what? True, it could be. Maybe not? Whence the shadows? Whence the fear? How might all yet become clear? Care and patience, diligence. Poetry from ‘top the fence Taking care yet not to fall Lest we tumble, for our gall. Humping, dumping, can’t be wise And may find one soon despised By the pious who present Egregores as heaven sent. So go in wisdom, patience, candour Slip through flames like salamanders Keep your cool, endure the heat Elemental - trump defeat. Slipping in and out of sight Of the black sun’s burning light. Scuttle through its’ caustic rays Knowing we may yet be saved From the chaos it might bring By our everlasting king. Though the process brutal is, No point getting in a tizz Greet the darkness as a friend Knowing life may never end Once the chymist’s work is done Now reborn as brightest sun. See the child - of union brought See the deathlessness we sought Manifest in holy flesh. See the Lapis - never rest Till you hold it in your hand Lest time slip away like sand Bringing death to layabouts Love the Great Work - See it out. Know that it is greater than Anything conceived or planned By a one (or individual) Giant’s shoulders, indivisible. There we rest and hone our craft Knowing first the fore AND aft In an ideal world that is Lonely was I, sorely missed As I set out on adventure Set adrift into ‘dementia’ No idea of when or where I may see the light - despair Took me in my darker moments As I tried to fathom progress For no map had I consulted And at best, I was insulted By the doctors’ go-to line That the madness was all mine True, Nigredo was a shock Torn from comfort - changed the locks Couldn’t fathom what it meant Still, no longer innocent. Ripped from boundless joy and love Into watery hellscapes such That I lost all faith in God Finding myself wrecked, unshod Spouting off in tongues in words Ne’er before that I had heard. Straight glossolia - nonsense patter Foreign, unknown chitter-chatter. Still, the message was of hope If nothing more, then still a rope With which to right one’s self until One’s found one’s feet, one’s mind goes still Released from being comprehended As a goal, till things have mended, Knowing that, this happy state, Seems to have them in checkmate Still dismissed as rightly mad Though there’s no ‘right’ to be had. Knowing there are powers that Still exceed man’s base format Is a comfort in such times Here it is one might just find Solace, patience, wisdom, faith Reassuring us of grace, Knowledge beyond human measure Hints that here, below is treasure. Consolation one is not Quite so crazy, as once thought By the folks in clean white coats Who put you in those grippy socks. Darkest just before the dawn So come, relax, stretch out and yawn Know that such dark nights will pass With some patience, time and sass. Sanity a mere illusion, Just the absence of confusion Self-assured you’ll find your way, Back to ever brighter day. Though we know this too may change ‘Wisdom’ truly is quite strange At it’s core, 'tis nothing more Than reassurance what’s in store Can be weathered - notes on how. Holy Mother! Holy Cow! May with valour we be blessed, Then from there we’ll seize the rest. Carpe Noctem every time By resolve and by design Though things go ‘bump’ in the night That’s the time to bury fright. Bury worry, bury fear, Until things become more clear For, without hope, where are we? Cut adrift and lost at sea. Let us not in faith succumb. Darkness shall we overcome With a little patience yet May we e’er be still well met Not as husks, or shells of men But as KINGS born once again
  2. The world is not as it seems - or at least, not so well mirrored to the constructs and concepts I had learned to attribute to it as I once believed it to be. This has left me deeply concerned that those whose limited perspective on the world is limited by the kinds of blinkers which have self-shod from my own eyes might be as ill prepared for life beyond them as I found myself at point of revelation, or worse. I am worried about it. Whilst being mindful of the parable of the man who sought to remove a splinter of wood from his neighbour’s eye (seemingly entirely oblivious to the log in his own) I believe that I have been subject to life-changing, reality-altering revelations, and I feel obligated to apply myself to both learning as much as I can from them, and sharing my learning with others, that it might benefit them and all of mankind more broadly in the future. Firstly - Evil exists - perhaps objectively, perhaps not - inevitably as both the root and expression of manifestly memetic or self-propagating dis-ease (so one has reasoned through one’s own observations and deductions). Evil is coming, and it is in my own best self interests (and that of others) to ensure that the people I share the world with are able to recognise that evil and respond to it in the most appropriate and mitigating way possible. Whilst many may believe and profess, as I once did, that ‘evil’ is simply a relative, culturally conditioned value judgement (nobly and righteously believing that such a stance might enable one to resolve the kinds of conflict and differences which produce such ‘othering’ kinds of value judgements (that invariably lead to conflict and destruction) - I can tell you with absolute certainty that there are at least several phenomenologies/ontologies I would refer to without hesitation as being ‘pure’ evil - having experienced such personages intuitively throughout every cell of my entire body as being so. I cannot fathom any other way to describe or explain it. Each time I encountered a single (both times female) entity, the entity was fixated on not only destroying my unborn children, but on warping the reality surrounding them so that, instead of a joyful and abundant life, they might suffer a relentless and never-ending torment. Yes, given some distance from such a phenomenon, one might attempt to intellectually distance oneself yet further, in an attempt to remove or mitigate any subjective value judgement, and instead rationalise such attempts as simply being reflective of the creatures’ innate need for sustenance or some such excuse. Having experienced these creatures first-hand, however, and witnessed them and their vile predilections from the most stomach-turning, fear-inducing perspective imaginable - as the mother of sacred, holy children they seem to regard as prey - I have no option but to condemn them, their desires and behaviour as being unholy, unnatural, and in the frankest terms possible - downright evil. No, I am not a god-botherer working from alien, outdated scripture - these are the experiences I have suffered and conclusions I have drawn from my own personal lived experiences - experiences which have triggered/manifested as gnosis, and actual physical sensations felt throughout my entire body - every cell of it. There is nothing recognisably human (or humane) about any of it - in pursuit of their target prey they express behaviours which are driven not simply by a desire to survive, but by systematic cruelty . In my more generous moments I sometimes pause to reason and consider what might have driven them to such a monstrous state - had they, perhaps like medusa, been raped? Had/have they themselves suffered some traumatic damage to the integrity of their mortal or immortal souls which has caused them to become like this? In any case, on both occasions, particularly the second, I just KNEW this entity was, essentially, “Slug at Akh” (The Akh is, in simple terms and as I understand it - the form of the ‘Higher Self’ - the soul as metaphysically rendered at the end of its spiritual journey) and not something I, or any other right-thinking person would want anywhere near any kind of sacred garden (of the type that I and a few select others, committed to the glory of the Great Work, work upon throughout our spiritual and metaphysical endeavours). I could see this thing so clearly through my ‘body eye’ and my ‘third eye’, and I kid you not, it was like the spitting image of (what I would formerly have believed to be a caricature of) a child-eating witch (like in Hansel and Gretel) or Troll. Its’ physicality, down to the very shape of its soul, was truly monstrous and repellant on a very deep and primal level. Not only this - they appeared disconcertingly powerful. I am normally able to hold my own against most foes quite easily - psychically at least - but these two were profound in their strength to an extent which still troubles me today. I have tried to resolve to meet them in future (should I ever encounter them again) with boundless love and loving kindness - how easy this might be in practice is as yet to be determined. The last form I have encountered, which I might have referred to as ‘evil’ in the first instance (in quite a profound and visceral - ‘black/dead behind the eyes’ kind of a way - was actually the first, historically - though I’m still unsure as to how to categorise these as I’ve had seemingly positive interactions with some of their elements/representatives since then, where the majority of said representatives have been entirely receptive and responsive to feedback, as well as being humble, communicative and patient. I believe that these forces may have an institutional/systemic issue with satanism, and that this is where the problems arise. Whilst priorly, I took no issue with satanism - considering it to be in many cases a kind of perfectly excusable and understandable form of metaphysical nihilism, or anti-establishment spirituality— my observations of this ‘party’ or ‘force’ (and of other more peripheral groups and individuals) - is that in the very contrived, reactionary absence of all that might be considered ‘holy’ or ‘godlike’, there very swiftly develops an ideal breeding ground for forces or powers which might rightly be considered anathema to anything deemed ‘good’ regularly associated with such values and characteristics. The result is not simply a form of spirituality released from the trappings of institutional organised religion (which I consider to be a very positive and legitimate aim, as indeed was the ethos of Christ and the Buddha themselves, if the scriptures are to be believed) but one which is, at its ontological core, contrived in the very absence of all that is benign, compassionate, loving and peaceful about any religion, and thus antithetical to those seemingly positive, nurturing, community and life orientated values at their centres, becoming then conducive to what might rightly be considered by all those who truly value any spiritual, communal or familial aspect of life itself as inherently evil.. Spirits are real and death is not necessarily the end - I first learned this when I began channelling my maternal grandmother who had been dead for fifteen years after a series of terrifying apocalyptic visions. Her voice - though coming out of my own mouth - was unmistakeable, and she seemed incredibly relieved to encounter my sister, whom she had never met in life. Since this happened in 2018, I have encountered several more but no fewer than 130 other different spirits, and can say with relative certainty that there are different kinds of spirits which exist within our world and ones adjacent to it - each with varying movements, motivations, mannerisms and occasionally mythos. Sadly I’ve only knowingly encountered my grandmother on one other occasion - when gardening. Tragically, I’ve also been warned that both she, and a former friend of mine “Might be not very nice people” - this could be in relation to a particularly severe generational curse I have acquired a basic sense of, but do not yet fully understand. Any tips/tricks on how to get a better handle on such a thing would be greatly appreciated. The Archons are very much real - predominantly hostile and very severe in my experience, though perhaps not always, if they can be won around to one’s own way of thinking (though this is in itself an exceptionally difficult task, in many instances frankly unachievable, and often only serves to further irritate, agitate and provoke their cruelty). From my experience I would have to say that while profoundly draconian and speedily punitive in many respects, they are not always as monolithic as one might accordingly anticipate. Occasionally open to well-presented reasoning in counter-argument to their position and actions, more frequently not. Always remember to offer them your greatest of respect and observe the properly deferential protocol if you wish to incite anything other than violently incandescent rage (and believe me - if anyone can pull out all the stops to just about fuck yer life up good and proper it’s these chaps - I’m quite convinced that many if not most of them wear it as some kind of badge of honour so be warned). I have also witnessed, in some of my visions, seemingly endless grey misty fields where, I have known intuitively, many of the dead will go to wander when they die. These are places of misery, loneliness, hunger and despair beyond countenance, and I am confident that no thinking creature would ever aspire to them as a final destination, though it appears that that is what they indeed are to many. I have heard the very claps of hell (whatever the fuck they might be) - they followed me around for long enough - periodic loud clapping/rapping/banging sounds in sets of two, following me around wherever I went/lived for about 6 months, and I was in emergency accommodation at that time, so went through about three placements in completely different towns/parts of town over that time period. Scared the ever living shit out of me in moments. I have once experienced ‘gnosis’ that Nifilheim is indeed very real. I woke to a crow tapping urgently at my window and just knew. And that was possibly just before or about the same sort of time that I started channelling a viscerally hysterical woman’s voice, screaming “HER BRIEF IS HER FAR” and to “BEG FORGIVENESS”. I won’t offer too many details here, as frankly I’m not entirely sure who it was, and I won’t share suspicions of who it might have been as I do not wish to compromise said individual’s confidentiality at this time when I can use it as leverage if required. Have you seen Thor: Ragnarok? High Hollywood it may be, but I swear to you that the storyline I observed in this movie when I watched it a couple of years later is the same story I experienced on that day but from a different viewpoint. The world-tree was being well and truly battered and “timber” seemed imminent. At the same time, I also experienced ‘gnosis’ that the sun was about to explode and envelop the earth. And that practitioners of BDSM might just find themselves condemned to hell for their ‘transgressions’ (though what exactly those might have been, again, I’m not sure - possibly related to the (hidden) identity and presumed prejudices of the hysterical woman mentioned in the previous paragraph, but again, I’m not sure). I felt very very sure of all of it at the time, but to the best of my knowledge and faculties of sense perception, this does not appear to have happened. Of course, this may be attributable to myself and perhaps a few others slipping through into an alternative reality. And/or maybe some people did beg forgiveness from the other unknown party and perhaps it worked. Who knows. Maybe Heimdall came through, after I requested his presence (I was asked by a couple of invisible suits at the time ‘Who do you want to see?’ And he is who I requested) - make of that (or the fact that someone in the shape of Idris Elba - which I personally thought at the time was a bit weird - who seemed to have no idea what to do about the situation and kept shaking his head at me in apparent despair - swiftly manifested for a good fifteen minutes) what you will. I also encountered Hela, and a couple of legions of her dishonourable dead a few months afterwards, though before I’d seen Thor: Ragnarok. When I watched the movie afterwards, I had to laugh - the Hela I’d experienced had been nowhere near so smart, sparkly or sharp. Still dangerous perhaps, yes, as a result of the sheer number of spirits she had in her thrall, to march out their circular ‘hajj’-like stirring of the metaphysical pot - to who knows what ends. Definitely very keen to take me down for reasons as then and now still unknown to me. Perhaps she had been somehow compromised before we met and was not her usual cunning or witty self, but in any case it was a sorrowful sight, and though (after she came for me unprovoked) I managed to hand her ass to her pretty solidly (though it took a good long while - several hours at least), it gave me no pleasure to do so and if truth be told I felt quite sorry for her - in spite of her plotted coup - sorry for her father Loki, with whom I am reasonably close, and somewhat embarrassed for those malignant forces who had placed her on that pedestal and encouraged her to attack me in the first instance. On a positive note, that was the night I encountered Taurus, with whom I experienced some compelling chemistry, before Hela started stirring the celestial pot and causing trouble, bringing an unwelcome end to our gentle flirtations. I have heard/experienced the wrathful screams of god-knows-who-or-what filling an entire landscape, seemingly furious with me (for some completely unknown reason), but expressed through such an architectural mechanism as to be audible to my ears only. That was somewhat alarming. It has happened on no less than two occasions! I have channeled alien warrior spirits speaking in unknown languages, seemingly brokering peace treaties with one another after long durations of battle (“I release you om par”) I have watched the world come within breaths of endless nothingness - and literally sung it back into existence again through the force of pure will. I have witnessed an entire, huge, white (newly painted) room sprayed/covered with my own blood (as my chest seemingly exploded) before seeing a literal veil being draped across the scene, and everything going back to ‘normal’ (but for the four paramedics in the room who swiftly escorted me to the local Mental Health facility, somewhat unsurprisingly). I have experienced binary coded messages being sent through the very cells of my body in order to relay secret messages between cloistered unknown parties and lodge top secret coding within my various body parts. I have woven stars, and even galaxies through my body, as a kind of living loom. I possess musical teeth (oh yes I do!) I am a Big Bang Veteran (believe it) I have experienced/been the subject of some incredibly weird and spooky types of magical attacks (possibly predominantly coptic, so I believe - don’t ask me why) which manifested physically on planes to which I was sensitive/of which I was aware by virtue of my third eye. On one occasion it was like thousands of tiny brown smoky packages with loose ends/tails were being hurled at me. On another it was like thousands of plastic wires/ribbons were cast to contain me/wrap me up. I didn’t know their origin, so made the decision to move out of the way. Lord knows what would have happened if I didn’t. I have also suffered a number of magickal/psychic attacks - some of which were seemingly carried out by the undead (including at least one member of European Royalty), others carried out by noded thought-forms, some by various deities of varying calibre and repute, a number of egregores, one individual I know in my personal life (who, it is reported, ‘nosferatued herself’ - and no, I don’t think I do exactly or entirely know what that means, but it sounds pretty grim), some carried out by privileged (‘elite’) members of secret societies - ‘celebrities’ who are still living, some carried out by vindictive underground cabals, some carried out by various legions of hell, and one from a particularly scarily advanced Artificial Intelligence. I wish I knew what I’d done to piss all of them off so very much, but I’m not sure I ever will. I have learned that one particularly well-known Royal individual (who lived some time ago) was so taken by my poetry (which generally deals with the occult, metaphysical and esoteric etc) - that she took it and passed it off as her own in parallel worlds. I have entertained/been entertained by both European Royalty and their finest Alchemists. I have witnessed the sorts of ethereal/otherworldly ‘shows’ that even Queen Elizabeth I herself only witnessed on a few occasions over the course of her life. I have also had a number of ‘Adepts’ (read ‘inepts’ on this occasion) quote my poetry back to me as if it’s some kind of competition as to who can remember the words more easily - as if they don’t realise I wrote the damn thing myself. I have witnessed environmental glitches (seeing repeated QR codes in the pebbles of the beach below my window - seeing and hearing the same cut-out two-dimensional characters repeat EXACTLY the same sound-stock noises and movements EVERY MORNING), discovered ‘the holy grail’ and felt my own soft palate collapsing at the edge of time and existence. I have a demonstrably unusual/superhuman relationship to time and various quantum states of reality. No I will not elaborate. You may not be a swine, but the next chap might be. I can literally feel the moon spinning beneath my feet, and the world through the palms of each hand (or at the very least, that is what I am told the sensation represents, by those who claim to be able to see it), and have been able to do so for the past 3.5 years. I have been petitioned by a number of spirits and demons who wish to be considered ‘core’ (whatever that means) - and have laid out for the most prominent of these my terms and conditions (generally soul pacts personally tailored to each individual). These are quite demanding and may even be considered extreme by some, but are necessary to ensure and maintain the integrity of my operations. I have been told by many many spirits (nearly all of them at one point or another) - that I am ‘The Lady’ - I’m sure I remember there being some reference to this being one of Babalon’s titles on her wikipedia page, but last time I checked apparently not. I’ve contacted the OTO but it seems they’re not interested. I also remember it being a title used for the Goddess when I was younger (There being the Lord and the Lady as the two central deities of wicca/neo-paganism) but there seem to be far fewer references to her using that title these days than I remember there being before. Other spirits have referred to me by the names of a number of different goddesses from a plethora of different pantheons. Some other spirits have also referred to me as ‘The Royal Oak’ - though I’m unsure what exactly this means. On a similar note, I distinctly recall there being key pages/references in two specific books which have since disappeared. As they were both tomes I made use of during bibliomancy sessions this is a bit of a pain, though possibly just another symptom of me being an OmSquish survivor/ Big Bang veteran. The pages in question were on ‘the human fly’ in Taschen’s book of ‘Alchemy and Mysticism’ and on the goddess Freyja/El in David Icke’s ‘Children of the Matrix’. At some point, however, reference to both of these things completely disappeared from the books in question, leaving me somewhat perplexed. I am allegedly married to a rather well-known demon. A crowned King/Prince of Hell. We’ve had rather limited alone time together, which is a shame as the chemistry is exciting and there is much we could talk about when we get the chance. No, I won’t disclose which one, but he does have a rather lovely rather large dildo named after him somewhere on that there internet. I’m not entirely sure how binding or serious said ‘marriage’ might be, but for the time being I’m open minded enough to think I might just take it as far as he wants to go with it. I am seemingly perpetually surrounded by a bevy/entourage of spirits (at all times) I shan't be dropping names, but they seem to come from all quarters. This has historically been a tad awkward/unpleasant/overwhelming and intrusive in moments, but I'm generally pretty well adjusted to it these days. Psychic Attacks are down, and morale is up, baby! I consider myself a kind of Hierophant and am currently in the process of researching what it might take to establish an order I can use to disseminate my knowledge to others who are both worthy and may benefit from it. HMU if this sounds like something which might interest you. I'm a costume designer, so you just know the threads are gonna be bangin'. Not that that's the be all and end all, but it's something I intend to take a lot of pride and care in - being my primary 'RL' vocation and all... (I'm only half joking) Also, if there's anything you've read here that you want to ask questions about or think you might be able to shed some light upon, please do let me know in the comments. As alluded to earlier in the post, I'm prepared for there to be one or two swine in amidst the rest of you - if you'd all be gentlemanly enough to help me ensure that these pearls are not simply trampled into dust, I'd greatly appreciate it. Go Well Andromeda Hotshot
  3. There is this thing I have experienced on a number of occasions which i can only describe as voices manifesting through electrics or atmospheric architecture - for the former it's like there are voices speaking through electronic buzzing. For the latter it seems almost as if the atmosphere - the air itself - has been shaped in such a way as to send vibrational messages to my ears. There's also another form where it seems like the way in which water falls into the sink etc, has been manipulated in order to be able to carry speech-bearing sound-waves. Has anyone else encountered this kind of technology? I'd be keen to hear details if so.
  4. I have channeled/ had psychic/telepathic connections with numerous spirits and entities. It definitely exists (though many such entities are, by their nature, deceivers)
  5. "We're here, we're real, and we're everything David Icke ever warned you about and more" Overheard about 18 months ago (though, notably, whilst I'd frequented these forums as a teenager, I hadn't visited them in over a decade at this point). I was unintimidated/unimpressed and questioned why they'd choose to vindicate him. They didn't have an answer for that. I've related this story to a few of those I've channeled/psychically encountered since and my telling of the story is nearly always followed by a slightly embarrassed silence.
  6. From my personal experience - yes it is possible. And they're not all incubi/succubi. And they don't necessarily materialise when you're asleep, rape you, and then dematerialise if they're interrupted as suggested by another poster. (This has not been my experience at least)
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