For people who need advice on dying and the death process I've just read :-
" with the end in mind" by palliative care doctor Kathryn Mannix.
It takes you through real stories gathered over the years and is very strong about not condoning euthanasia. It's helped me as I witnessed a death recently for the first time and the process that the dying go through which follows a very familiar pattern in almost every case and was reassuring and helpful to me to process what I witnessed.
Here's an excerpt
'The second part of life is about transcendence to wisdom, and for many people this only develops over a long lifetime. For others, though, there can be an early transition, and this is very often through a personal experience of deep loss and enormous pain – exactly like the experience of knowing they have an incurable illness that our patients encounter; the knowledge that death is approaching, and that it will mean the end of everything they hold familiar and dear. Each of the wisdom traditions describes this transformation process in its own way, yet the key ‘Golden Rule’ of all of them is the development of a sense of compassion for others. The focus moves from ‘me’ to ‘everyone and everything’. This includes a kindness to oneself, and the ability to recognise and forgive one’s own faults in the same loving way that those transformed, second-part-of-life people forgive the faults of others. The stories of the people facing death that I have shared in this book are mainly about people who have reached that new phase in their lives. They have become compassionate and wise, they overlook or even embrace the foibles of others, and they relish their sense of ‘being’ in every moment. This transformation of world view is a spiritual transformation, whether theistic or not. It enables the person to review their life and to recognise and regret any hurt they may have caused other people, and often to desire to make amends. It is this recognition that underlies the first of the recurring last messages of dying people: ‘I am sorry. Please forgive me.’ It also supports their desire to avoid causing any further hurt, and this translates into a deeper patience with others’ shortcomings.'