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webtrekker

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Everything posted by webtrekker

  1. Another COLOSSAL FAIL of AI which entirely misses the main feature of this image ... Personally, I don't hold much hope for AI, and certainly can't see it 'taking over the world!'
  2. We received this today, addressed only to our street, not individually ... Nobody in their right mind would sign up for this. I'd want at least a pizza or a Maccy-D thrown in too!
  3. Haha! No, I chose King Crimson because I have the album 'Islands' with my favourite KC track -'Formentera Lady.'
  4. webtrekker

    A HUMOUR THREAD

    Honestly, do we have to spell it out? 2.12 PIPE All pipe is be the very best quality, preferably tubular or pipular, is to be hollow throughout the entire length and is to be made of long hole, surrounded by metal centered around the hole. Certification must be provided to the Engineer that in all cases, the O.D. of pipe will exceed the I.D. to avoid the hole being on the outside. All pipe is to be supplied to the jobsite free of rust, as this can be more readily applied at the jobsite and is to be cleaned free of covering such as mud, tar, barnacles or any form of manure before installation to prevent lumps under the paint. All pipe over 500 feet in length must have the words "Long Pipe" clearly painted on each end so that the Mechanical Contractor will know it is a long pipe. Pipe over 1000 feet in length must also have these words painted in the middle so that the Mechanical Contractor will not have to walk the full length of the pipe to determine if it is a long pipe or not. All pipe over six inches in diameter is to have the words "Large Pipe" painted on it, so that the Mechanical Contractor will not use it for small pipe." O.D. and I.D. being, of course, outer diameter and inner diameter. This was taken from a scan of a document marked as follows: Mechanical and Electrical Room Building Addition Eaton Corporation - Semiconductor Equipment Operations 108 Cherry Hill Drive, Beverly, Massachusetts It was found on pages 18 and 19 of the Mechanical Systems Specifications. 1/15/98 Allied Consulting Project # 7044
  5. webtrekker

    A HUMOUR THREAD

    What do you do if there is a Just Stop Oil protester player limping around in your backyard? Stop laughing and reload!
  6. webtrekker

    A HUMOUR THREAD

    A few Musician jokes ... How can you tell there's a singer at your door? They forgot the key and they don't know when to come in! What's the definition of perfect pitch? When the banjo lands in the exact center of the dumpster How do you get two oboe players to play in tune? Shoot one of them. What's the definition of a semitone? Two oboists playing in unison. How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but there are three more standing by thinking, "I can do it better." What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A Flat miner. What's the difference between a drummer and a pizza? A pizza feeds a family of four. What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer. What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool. What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? Vibrato. What is the difference between an accordion and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline. What is the definition of an optimist? An accordion player with a pager. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead accordion player in the road? The snake might have been on its way to a gig. What do you call a musician with no girlfriend? Homeless. How can you tell when the stage is level? The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth. How do you know when there's a drummer knocking on your door? The knocking keeps speeding up and they don't know when to come in. How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? None, the keyboardist can do it with one hand. Find the one that doesn't fit: The Easter Bunny An accordion player with a credit card Salvador Dali Answer: c. Salvador Dali. He's dead but at least he's real. What's the difference between an accordion and a concertina? An accordion takes longer to burn. How do you make a guitarist play quietly? Put sheet music in front of him. Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car? It took him an hour to get the drummer out.
  7. I see that even StackOverflow is being taken over by AI. Mind you, many members are fighting back, by deleting or garbling their posts so that AI returns nonsensical, non-working answers. This does, however, spoil StackOverflow for the many programmers who use it on a regular basis.
  8. I remember learning this intro many moons ago on my guitar.
  9. I played this record until it was worn out! ...
  10. It always amazes me how, after so many years, no one has ever improved upon the windscreen wiper!
  11. Fantastic clip from an equally fantastic movie ...
  12. Tony Bennett left his heart in San Francisco, but that was only metaphorical. Sammy Davis Jr. left his eye in San Bernardino, and that was all too real. Departing Las Vegas for a Hollywood recording session, Davis was driving through the Cajon Pass on Route 66 when he came upon a strange sight. A car had stopped in front of him, apparently in preparation for turning around at Kendall Drive. Davis, who was new to driving and not very good at it, plowed his new lime green Cadillac convertible into the car. His face bounced off the cone in the middle of the steering wheel. It was just after 7 a.m. on Nov. 19, 1954, 65 years ago. More here ...
  13. Jim Croce was a favourite of my Mam, especially this song ...
  14. webtrekker

    A HUMOUR THREAD

    My Uncle Bill was an Olympian. One day, someone walked up to him and asked, in a foreign accent, 'Are you by any chance a Pole Vaulter?' To which he replied, testily, 'My name is not Walter, and no, I am not Polish!'
  15. webtrekker

    A HUMOUR THREAD

    Anyone remember the 1972 Olympics that were held in Germany, prior to the Berlin Wall coming down? "It's a beautiful day here today, and we've just heard that the East German Pole Vaulting Champion is now the West German Pole Vaulting Champion!"
  16. webtrekker

    A HUMOUR THREAD

    Old, but still good ...
  17. webtrekker

    A HUMOUR THREAD

    Such a small world! I too had a distant uncle from Newcastle who happened to be a scout for Custer at Little Big Horn. One day, before the battle, Custer said to him, "Geordie, pop over yonder hill and see if you can spot any injuns." "Nee botha, Custer marra. Aa'l be back in a jiff." Three days later Geordie returns. "Well, tell me dear boy, did you see any injuns?" "Bloody loads of them Custer, dancing around and banging drums." "Hmm... Tell me Geordie, were they WAR drums?" "Nah. They were THEIR drums, Custer!"
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