Queen Spending 'a Shitload' Of Money

[bicycle]

SPENDING by the Royal Household has increased from a serious wedge to a shitload, according to official accounts.




The Royal Family's appetite for luxury continues to expand with vast sums being spent on exotic food, international jousting competitions and Aston Martins.

A Palace spokesman said: "Being a member of the Royal Family is a job. They work very hard and are not just a bunch of millionaires who spend most of their time on holiday or pretending to be interested in things."

Prince Philip's fondness for eating rare animals led to £2 million being spent on a gigantic silver pot for cooking whole white rhinos.

Meanwhile the Queen's peas continue to be delivered individually in more than 250 horse-drawn carriages.

The system costs £28 million a year and turns Norfolk into a no-go area.

The Queen also spent £75 million organising the annual Fat Man Derby in the grounds of Windsor Castle.

The event attracts fat men from all over the world who run for their lives across open parkland pursued by a panther.

It's the Queen's favourite event of the year and has her "doubled-up with laughter" according to Royal experts.

[ennui]

:D I thought the Queen only ate whole live rodents.

I used to know a butler who worked for the royals and he told me that the Queen Mum didn't know what chips were. He asked her if she wanted chips on day and she had asked him what chips were so he lowered the tray so she could see and she exclaimed "Oh you mean sliced potato".

[eternal_spirit]

:eek::eek::eek: speechless

[eternal_spirit]

Yet more evidence that the royals are seriously off their rockers.

[gordonfreeman]

We don't see that everyday, do we?

Now thats a great inspiration for my fictional royal Illuminati bloodline family called Theoreden.

[mynameis]

Can I see a link to this news story?

[h1s_l0rdsh1p]

Did you really expect anything else?

[mynameis]

Not unless he was joking about the Queen of Bagpipe players?

[albie]

I heard she washes her pots with baby blood.

And has her own set of glove puppets made from the skins of abortions.

Yeah, she hires zombie-people to act out plays with the glove skins.

I also heard she has a bicycle made entirely from human bones...with enflated guts for tyres.

And she makes people swim through liquid gold...burning...burning.

Except they've had their spines snipped so they don't feel pain.

Most of them.

[revolutionary_jam]

I met a girl who had been catering staff for a Royal event in Edinburgh, usually the catering staff was entitled to whatever food was left by people at events, but there was a specific request by the queen that all the leftovers should be thrown out and not eaten by the catering staff.

She told be that there were huge black bags full of expensive gourmet food that were just thrown out and discarded.

Bunch of nazi sympathisers too.