anyuser
19-12-2009, 04:59 AM
Chicago Advice Columnist Tells Nervous Virgin to Hire a Prostitute
It sounds like a Judd Apatow flick, but a real advice columnist for a Chicago newspaper has advised a man nearing 40 who has yet to have sex that he should just stop worrying about finding a woman he cares for and call in a professional.
First the New York Post gives an advice column to a prostitute (http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/spitzer_babe_answers_4duaVqTCJHA38suGawuaiM), now we've got the Chicago Sun-Times advice columnist promoting prostitution? What a week for womankind in the newspaper biz.
Chicago Sun-Times columnist Cheryl Lavin prefaced her column this Monday (http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/lavin/1937729,CST-FTR-lavin14.article) with a disclaimer, "Reader Alert! This is my most politically incorrect column ever, and I know I'm going to make a lot of people angry. Having said that ..."
That didn't stop her from telling "Get This Monkey Off My Back" that the answer to his fear of intimacy is to get sexually intimate with a woman with whom he didn't have to be emotionally intimate. "Sexual experience equals confidence equals attraction," Lavin says.
Or it equals a guy with experience who still can't commit to a real relationship and now has a taste for paying for sex. He's paying a woman in a "career" accepted by the psychological and medical community (http://www.uri.edu/artsci/wms/hughes/mhvhealt.htm) as highly toxic to women. Lavin's disclaimer doesn't make her decision much more comforting when she notes that even where prostitution is illegal, it's still widespread. Is that aiding and abetting in a big-city newspaper?
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.lemondrop.com/media/2009/12/amazon-40-year-old-virgin.jpg
Whether hiring a hooker will even help "Get this Monkey..." is highly debatable. What a good therapist could do in a few sessions is get to the root of those intimacy issues, maybe even find out if he's gay--hey, you never know--or a total creep.
But why let somebody else take the credit for getting him laid, huh?
source: http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/12/16/chicago-advice-columnist-tells-aging-virgin-to-hire-a-prostitute/
He nears 40 years old, still a virgin
Unconventional idea may help his love life
Reader Alert! This is my most politically incorrect column ever, and I know I'm going to make a lot of people angry. Having said that ...
DEAR CHERYL: I'm a male in my mid-30s, and still a virgin. It's a monkey I would love to have off my back. This has nothing to do with religious and moral beliefs. I didn't start dating until after college, and I haven't had any relationships with girls that have lasted long enough to have sex.
I'm usually told after a few dates that I'm a nice guy but there's no connection. I don't know what this means and have no idea how to generate a connection. Is there some secret to chemistry? I find it hard to believe that after all these years it hasn't happened to me even once, whereas others have sex on first dates.
There's another problem. I'm terrified of the prospect of being in an intimate situation with someone and not knowing what to do. Is this something I should even bring up? My friends who are girls tell me that they would not date someone my age who has no experience in bed because they would think there's something wrong with him.
GET THIS MONKEY
OFF MY BACK
DEAR GTMOMB!, You've been assuming that if you felt a connection with a woman and she felt one with you, then you'd have sex with her and be rid of your monkey. So, you want to be intimate with a woman, but at the same time, you're afraid to be. You're running in two directions at the same time. That's a recipe for failure right there.
I think your fear of being intimate -- because it means exposing your inexperience -- is what women are picking up on, and that's what's causing the lack of connection on their part. I have a feeling your unhappiness over your virginity is inhibiting you with woman.
What if you went at it the other way? What if you lost your virginity first, then tried to have a connection with a woman? Your whole personality on a date might blossom. Sexual experience equals confidence equals attraction.
So, how do you get rid of your virginity?
http://media1.suntimes.com/multimedia/lavin.jpg_20081208_09_55_37_9-282-400.imageContent
Prostitution is legal in some counties in Nevada. And even where it's illegal, it's widespread. Conservative columnist George Will recently said on "This Week With George Stephanopoulos," "We legalized prostitution, as anyone who opens a telephone book and looks under 'escort' can tell."
I'm not recommending that you do anything that makes you uncomfortable, I'm just presenting an option.
If you don't like that option, let's think of another one. The Internet has Web sites for people who want to get together for sex without strings. You might want to check them out. If you do, be careful to protect yourself.
Think about my suggestions, and let me know what you're going to do.
source: http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/lavin/1937729,CST-FTR-lavin14.article
It sounds like a Judd Apatow flick, but a real advice columnist for a Chicago newspaper has advised a man nearing 40 who has yet to have sex that he should just stop worrying about finding a woman he cares for and call in a professional.
First the New York Post gives an advice column to a prostitute (http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/spitzer_babe_answers_4duaVqTCJHA38suGawuaiM), now we've got the Chicago Sun-Times advice columnist promoting prostitution? What a week for womankind in the newspaper biz.
Chicago Sun-Times columnist Cheryl Lavin prefaced her column this Monday (http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/lavin/1937729,CST-FTR-lavin14.article) with a disclaimer, "Reader Alert! This is my most politically incorrect column ever, and I know I'm going to make a lot of people angry. Having said that ..."
That didn't stop her from telling "Get This Monkey Off My Back" that the answer to his fear of intimacy is to get sexually intimate with a woman with whom he didn't have to be emotionally intimate. "Sexual experience equals confidence equals attraction," Lavin says.
Or it equals a guy with experience who still can't commit to a real relationship and now has a taste for paying for sex. He's paying a woman in a "career" accepted by the psychological and medical community (http://www.uri.edu/artsci/wms/hughes/mhvhealt.htm) as highly toxic to women. Lavin's disclaimer doesn't make her decision much more comforting when she notes that even where prostitution is illegal, it's still widespread. Is that aiding and abetting in a big-city newspaper?
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.lemondrop.com/media/2009/12/amazon-40-year-old-virgin.jpg
Whether hiring a hooker will even help "Get this Monkey..." is highly debatable. What a good therapist could do in a few sessions is get to the root of those intimacy issues, maybe even find out if he's gay--hey, you never know--or a total creep.
But why let somebody else take the credit for getting him laid, huh?
source: http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/12/16/chicago-advice-columnist-tells-aging-virgin-to-hire-a-prostitute/
He nears 40 years old, still a virgin
Unconventional idea may help his love life
Reader Alert! This is my most politically incorrect column ever, and I know I'm going to make a lot of people angry. Having said that ...
DEAR CHERYL: I'm a male in my mid-30s, and still a virgin. It's a monkey I would love to have off my back. This has nothing to do with religious and moral beliefs. I didn't start dating until after college, and I haven't had any relationships with girls that have lasted long enough to have sex.
I'm usually told after a few dates that I'm a nice guy but there's no connection. I don't know what this means and have no idea how to generate a connection. Is there some secret to chemistry? I find it hard to believe that after all these years it hasn't happened to me even once, whereas others have sex on first dates.
There's another problem. I'm terrified of the prospect of being in an intimate situation with someone and not knowing what to do. Is this something I should even bring up? My friends who are girls tell me that they would not date someone my age who has no experience in bed because they would think there's something wrong with him.
GET THIS MONKEY
OFF MY BACK
DEAR GTMOMB!, You've been assuming that if you felt a connection with a woman and she felt one with you, then you'd have sex with her and be rid of your monkey. So, you want to be intimate with a woman, but at the same time, you're afraid to be. You're running in two directions at the same time. That's a recipe for failure right there.
I think your fear of being intimate -- because it means exposing your inexperience -- is what women are picking up on, and that's what's causing the lack of connection on their part. I have a feeling your unhappiness over your virginity is inhibiting you with woman.
What if you went at it the other way? What if you lost your virginity first, then tried to have a connection with a woman? Your whole personality on a date might blossom. Sexual experience equals confidence equals attraction.
So, how do you get rid of your virginity?
http://media1.suntimes.com/multimedia/lavin.jpg_20081208_09_55_37_9-282-400.imageContent
Prostitution is legal in some counties in Nevada. And even where it's illegal, it's widespread. Conservative columnist George Will recently said on "This Week With George Stephanopoulos," "We legalized prostitution, as anyone who opens a telephone book and looks under 'escort' can tell."
I'm not recommending that you do anything that makes you uncomfortable, I'm just presenting an option.
If you don't like that option, let's think of another one. The Internet has Web sites for people who want to get together for sex without strings. You might want to check them out. If you do, be careful to protect yourself.
Think about my suggestions, and let me know what you're going to do.
source: http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/lavin/1937729,CST-FTR-lavin14.article